Bubba Boy's Rio Guide

[Bubba Boy]

The Bubba report, updated January, 2006. Part 8/12 - General Tourist Stuff

This may surprise many of you but there is, actually, non mongering things to do in Rio De Janeiro. Now because you told everybody back home you are going to Rio to "experience the culture and see the sights" you will have will actually have to go out and see the touristy things and to take some pics. In all seriousness, it is a very beautiful city geographically and is well worth going out seeing it.

I have listed the 4 must do tourist activities. There are of course many more sights to see, but that is not the focus of this report. If you are in Rio for a week you should at least go out and see the 4 listed below.

***Must do #1. Corcovado, The Statue of Christ (Cristo Redentor)***

You simply must just go up and see the stature of Christ. It is very impressive to stand atop one of the most famous sites in the world and look down on the beautiful city of sin below.

From line of site it is only about 5 miles from Copacabana, but because it is on top of a mountain, to get there, you must go around-about way. Hence, no matter which way you go, it will take about 30 minutes to get there from Copa/Ipanema.

Options.

Normal or Radio taxi: Will require about 90-120 minutes, a hotel can arrange a Radio taxi which will be more comfortable but more expensive. You could simply grab a cab off the street and head up there. You will also have to pay for entrance to the national park, per person.

Taxi/Trem: You can catch a taxi to the trem point and head up that way. The trem is a rickety old thing but worth it for something different.

Bus/Trem: You can catch a bus to the trem starting point and catch that.

Tip1. Don't plan ahead a definite day to see the stature. It is quite high and hence gets covered in clouds quite often. Hence, before you go up, have a look from the street what the cloud situation is like. You can see the statue or at least the general direction from a number of points around copa/ipanema. When you are confident it will be clear head straight up.
Tip2. Due to its height take some warm clothing. It will be about 15C (30F) colder up there than at ground level. When you add in wind chill it can be even colder. If you are taking a local girl up, make doubly sure she has warm clothing, they get colder than gringos because they really never get to experience cold weather and they never think ahead.

***Must do #2. Sugar Loaf (PÃO de AÇÚCAR)***

A lot of people confuse Corcovado and PÃO de AÇÚCAR. They are similar in that they are both atop large granite outcrops and offer great views of the city. They are both worth a visit. Sugar Loaf is much easier to get to and because it is not quite as high, it does not get affected by cloud cover as frequently.

It is actually 2 granite crops connected by 2 cable cars. You catch one car to the first outcrop, hang around, take some pics and then when you are ready get on the second cable car to take you to the top. For James Bonds fans, in the movie "Moonraker", 007 battles with "jaws" on this cable car. I believe it was built at the turn of the century.

It is located one small beach up from Copacabana. It is a R12 cab ride from Copacabana which will take you past Rio Sul, or about R16 from Ipanema as you have to go through Copa. You could of course catch a Bus to Rio Sul shopping centre and walk (about 20minutes) if you wish to save a few bucks. When catching a cab back to Copacabana/Ipanema walk out of the car park and onto the street proper and flag a cab. The cabs that wait for you in the actual car park are special "PÃO de AÇÚCAR" (quite clearly written on the side of the car) cabs and because they are so special they do not use the meter. I believe they have a fixed chart of fares, but it works out about 2 times as expensive as a normal cab.

Tip1. Again take some warm clothes just in case. It can get chilly, particularly when the wind blows. Tickets up are about R30 per person.

***Must do #3. The beach***

Sunday is a great day to walk from Copacabana to Ipanema along the street, which is closed to traffic. I find Copacabana more tourist orientated and hence there are more scammer present. Ipanema is my preferred beach to catch some rays. I like Posto 7 to Posto 9. At Ipanema, a beach chair (Porto: cadeira) will cost about R3 to rent for the day, you can pay when you return it. If you wish to purchase a cotton beach like towel (Porto: a canga) it should set you back about R15 if you are a local, anymore and you are paying tourist prices and hence should walk away and go to the next guy. A cadeira or a canga will cost more directly opposite the heavy tourist areas of Copacabana, another reason I prefer Ipanema.

***Must do #4. Trip to Centro.***

Centro is entirely different from the touristy area that is Copacabana. I think everyone should catch the Metro downtown and soak in the local atmosphere. Try to avoid the metro in peak hours if possible, it can get very crowded and although it is still perfectly safe, it can get uncomfortable with the crush of people. Of course you can combine this with a trip to 4x4.

***Where to take a girl on a date: Some suggestions***

(I borrowed this heavily from another post, sorry I did not keep the posters handle)

Cinema - best places are the shopping malls such as Barra Shopping, Rio Sul. Films are shown in original language, except some kiddy films that are dubbed (dublado).

Parks - botanic gardens are superb, monkeys and squirrels to see. Some quiet areas to get friendly in on the hillside in the forest. Also Parque Lage which is nearby. On the lagoa there's Parque do catacombas where you can hike to the top of the hill for fantastic views of the lagoon and Ipanema/Leblon.

Corcovado - go afternoon and see the sunset. Buy some fruit at the restaurant near the top and feed the coatis when they come out at sundown. They have concerts at night, romantic and great views. Sugar Loaf is also good. Believe it or not, a lot of locals from Rio have never visited the big tourist attractions and hence will be more than happy to go to them with you.

Terra Encantada - the fun fair on Ayrton Senna in Barra. Plenty of rides and good fun.

Rio Water Park - Recreio, for a day on flumes and the like.

The Beach - You are in Rio.

Live music - buy a newspaper for details. Vinicius in Ipanema for great Bossa Nova.

Museums and art galleries - Rio has loads.

The zoo in Rio is close to the Maracana stadium. (Zoo is quiet poor)

Other good places to take non-pro's is the MAC museum in Icarai, Niteroi (the flying saucer shaped building you may have seen in photos). You get great views of Rio from there, if you walk down towards the little island with monastry and take a right turn, you come to a bar where you can watch the sunset with good views of centro and all the advertising lights. Very nice atmosphere.

[Bubba Boy]

The Bubba report, updated January, 2006. Part 7/12 - Security, Police and Scams

**A night at Nuth - always carry your passport with you when you leave zona sul**

Headed down to Nuth, a very popular club (if not the most popular nightclub in Rio) in Barra on a Friday night with 4 experienced mongers. All knew to carry passports. On the way there we get stopped on Ave Niemayer in a Police roadblock. First thing they ask is if everyone has passports and secondly if anyone has drugs. No problems here. Everyone gets back into the taxi breath a sigh of relieve and are on our way. Not more than 3 miles down the road, close to Rocinha we get stopped again. Same procedure, but with one twist. One of our guys is a black American that speaks excellent Portuguese. One of the cops is black, not overly common in some parts of Rio as the white Portuguese tend to dominate this lucrative profession. My friend is always very friendly and generous with local black Cariocas - who tend to make up the majority of people that live in favellas and are generally the most under privileged of all Cariocas . They have a chat, a laugh and even sit in the police car for a while. We are standing near the taxi, thinking we want to get the fuck out of there and not push our luck. Turns out our friend offers the young black cop a gift of R50, the young black cop asks permission of his boss to accept this gift. The boss gives the go ahead. Upon returning to my friend the local black cop tells us his boss has drugs and is willing to sell us some. My friend declines despite being an avid smoker "maconha" (Marijuana in Porto). It would have been very interesting to see if he had actually bought some drugs. I am thinking there is a 50/50 chance of something going HORRIBLY WRONG if the poorer decision was taken. Ironically we get stopped again on the way back and it is the same young black cop. We are on our way quickly.

Another friend of mine got stung for R200 coming back from Villa Mimosa. He didn't have his passport, the cops acted very concerned and knew they had an easy target, he shit himself and caved. He has been to Rio many times but never learns. Another friend, a very experienced Rio monger got stopped on Ave Niemayer in a road block, cost him R10, he speaks perfect Portuguese and he knows his shit, hence the difference in the "price" he paid.

A possible defence would be to not speak any Portuguese and discourage anyone from trying to translate for you. Hope that the police lose interest and move on. They really don't want to take you to the station, would cut into their time on the street and hence limit their opportunity to make cash. Either way it is not a good position to be in.

If you ever leave Copa at night, always take your passport. As a gringo you are required under Brasilian law to carry it at all times.

**The shoe shine scam - the shit flingers**

When walking along the beach side walk watch out for the "shit on you shoe" scam. It involves a kid placing a "shit like" oil based substance on your shoe, then the kid will come up beside you and offer to clean it off. Amazingly they are very good at placing it on you with you knowing. They will try to charge you as much as they can get away with, think R10-R30 if you look particularly green. I have been hit once, I waved my finger at him which is the Brasilian way of saying "I know what you are up to" them waved him away, when he came back I basically yelled at him to go away in Portuguese. This trick sometimes involves an accomplice who will rob you, particularly when you get hit on the side streets leading up to the beach. A little bit of detergent and paper towel gets the muck off. Never ever stop and let the kid clean it, if he is persistent act irritated, wave you finger and head and walk off fast. Whenever I see a show shine guy now on the beach side of Avinida Atlantica I look for his accomplice, there is always 2 of them. You will notice them to, searching out for green tourists.

A good rule of thumb when in Rio, if anybody tries to approach you on the street ignore them and keep walking, even pick up the pace. It will usually involve a scam or they will be slowing you down so someone else will come up and grab whatever they can get. Even little kids that may look cute will do this, just ignore them, enough of them together will be distracting enough for them to go through your pockets.

**Avinida Atlantica, Copacabana is one of the most dangerous streets at night**

Every problem I have had in Rio, and there has been a few, has been on Avinida Atlantica or within a block or 2 of Help, all at night. The local bandidos know where the tourists are and that's where they head. I have been nearly robbed several times- one time came to blows- they didn't get anything and we didn't get hurt - lucky there was no weapons, they had the numbers we had the size. They beat a hasty retreat. I was angry with myself being stupid enough to walk into them, that I had let my guard down because there were lots of people around at 9pm. My rule is if I can't see weapons they won't get anything from me, I had a troubled youth and hence am quite ok with a little bit of sporadic violence, if they do have visible weapons, then they can have anything I am stupid enough to be carrying at the time. A first time visitor should really offer no resistance to any attempted robbery. Everybody should carry only a small amount of cash in their pockets, hide the rest somewhere else.

Another time my same friend was on his way to the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Academy with one of the instructors. He was again approached by 4 thugs that asked for his money, he simply pointed and said "speak about that with my buddy", the instructor basically said "come on guys, you don't want to do something stupid now". They fled quickly horrified that they had offended some one from Gracie. The point of the story is that the thugs are really not that hard, the judgement one needs to make is if they are carrying weapons or not and of course if it is worth the hassle.

http://www.gracieacademy.com/

*A post by Euro 100, ISG*

Euro 100 says: "Here was the plan: take a stroll down the Av. Atlantica on the side with all of the street cafes and find a place for a light meal, hang out for a while, and then head to Help at 11:30. It was not to be.

I had walked past the Rio International hotel when a scummy-looking little guy asks me for the time. I motion to my wrist and show him I have no watch, keep walking. About ten steps later I see a guy walking over from some trees and keeping pace with me, narrowing the sideways distance between us until he gets just two meters away from me. This distracts my attention sufficiently so that I do not see yet another guy who is coming from the other direction and heading straight for me. That guy pulls a knife and motions it towards my throat, grabs the front of my shirt with his other hand.

Military training takes over, and despite my intention to just hold still and let them take my wallet, my right hand grabs his knife-hand by the wrist and bends it back. This guys is surprisingly weak, and for a moment I entertain the thought of ramming his own knife into his underbelly. But then the other guy who walked alongside me is all over me, plus the guy who asked for the time is on my back. Two more guys appear from nowhere. One holds my free arm back, the other searches my pockets.

All of these guys are probably in their early twenties and a head shorter than me. Since I still hold on to the knife-hand, I calculate the odds of beating the shit out of all of them. None of them feels tough, but then again I am not the black belt I used to be any more. And I worry that there may be other knifes. So, despite being high on adrenaline, my rational brain wins, I just hold still and let them go through my pockets. They ignore the cigarettes and matches, and only take the wallet. Less then 10 seconds after it started it is over, and they run for the shadows.

Now I realize that my daily preparations were well worth my time. I had taken a crappy old wallet to Brazil for exactly such an occasion. I had only about 70R in the wallet and nothing else, no ID, no credit card, nothing. My credit card and ID are hidden in a secret little pocket that came with my khakis and is located right under my belt. I had $50 stashed in the cigarette box, to change at Help. And of course my belt itself has an inside zipper with $200 emergency cash folded up in it. So the robbers only got 10% of what they could have gotten out of me." Euro 100.

I have heard this same story so many times, just the name of the person telling it varies. Funnily enough I was actually walking on the same street as Euro, at the same time, could have been me.

***Help or General GDP Scam (also appears in Help section)***

A few GDP's in Help will know and have the cell phone of a local Policeman. A popular scam, which is not common and will generally only be tried on a green newbie is as follows. The girl will go up to the apartment, then start yelling over basically nothing, causing noise, which in turn will cause a problem with your neighbours and ultimately you. She will then accuse the newbie of doing something inappropriate and call the Police. The Police she actually calls will be known to her and hence won't be on your side. When they turn up they will try and get as much cash out of you as possible, threatening jail etc, in short if you do talk to them and your Portuguese is limited you will be in deep. You really don't want to speak to the Police under these circumstances. If it does happen to you, I would turn off the lights and just not open the door to them. They cannot legally enter (for what that is worth). If I could leave the apartment for a few hours and get the fuck out of there, it would also be a good option. The best solution is to avoid the problem in the first place, SCREEN ANY GDP HEAVILY.


*A post by Rxhammer*

The hammer says:

I just got back from a 8 day trip to Rio with a buddy of mine and we had a bad situation with a GDP in our apartment. We came back from Help with 2 girls. My friends girl, which we met in front of Help (after midnight) and did not "screen" very well. She had one beer before entering Help and 1/2 a cocktail inside. She introduced me to my girl once we entered Help. We stayed about 45 minutes then left for the apartment. I had agreed to a couple of hours with my girl, had a great time and she left. While TCB with my girl my friend came to my room and said his girl had "passed out" (after 1 & 1/2 drinks ???) and he had not touched her. He had voiced some concerns about a "bad vibe" with her but I had rushed him home so I could take care of my "hottie". BIG MISTAKE !! She slept til noon when he decided to get her up and out. She showered and joined us in the living room. I then offered her 50R for lunch and a cab since she had not "earned" anything the night before(I thought this to be GENEROUS). She became extremely upset and demanded 300R !! We both laughed and told her to get the fuck out. Now the problem, she will not leave !! I feel like beating the shit outta her but cooler heads prevail. We were scheduled to leave that afternoon so we decided to just start packing and prepare to leave. She doesn't budge. I losing my temper bigtime by now. She's yelling and screaming, knocking things off the wall, so I decide to just grab her and physically throw her ass out but she's a tough little piece of favela trash and fights back. My friend steps out to the apartment lobby to see if the doorman will help(our door opened into the first floor lobby). To sum up, I got her to move toward the door and when my friend distracted her I grabbed her from behide and shoved her ass right out the open front door of the apartment and locked it behind her !!! FUCK !! I glossed over the details such as when she tried to go for a knife in the kitchen sick or when she tried to hit me over the head with an empty wine bottle. Battle royal with that little scam artist !!!! Anyway, after we got her out she left the building not to be seen again. Oh, and we also left for about 3 hours so as to let things die down and to make sure we weren't around if she came back with the cops. We returned later, grabbed our bags and left.

Moral of the story....SCREEN YOUR WOMEN !!!! BTW, I'm no newbie with 25+ trips to Rio, I just got a little careless and didn't listen to my friends concerns. She was trying to scam him but once she's IN THE APARTMENT you may be fucked in a "bad" way !!!

Be safe, Hammer.

PS she didn't get the 50R either !! rxhammer

[Bubba Boy]

the bubba report, updated january, 2006. part 6b/12 - general stuff

***favelas***

around 25% of rios 12m souls will live in a slum or "favela". they are generally built on the slopes, sometimes on the best land and are everywhere in rio. even the best areas will neighbour a favela. the favelas have always fascinated me, being from a relatively affluent western country i find it hard to imagine how anybody can survive on $25 per week, the answer to this question is "with great difficulty". the associated poverty causes crime, much of it intertwined with the drug industry. this is not to say everybody that lives in a favela is a criminal, far from it, the maid that cleans your hotel room will most likely go home to a favela at night. most inhabitants are honest people although you cannot say all are "working" as unemployment can be as high as 35%.

the social structure in most favelas are intertwined by the local drug dealers, with the head honcho acting as the mayor. in the small favelas there is usually only one way in and one way out, hence the dealers and there hired hands generally sit atop the hill to watch when the police enter the slum. the dealers and their arms generally keep the peace although when rivalry breaks out for control bloodshed is often the result. it is very common to see and hear bullets flying around at night from your hotel room. i once was awoken at about 4am in my hotel room in copacabana to some serious gun fire coming from the favela, which i guess is about 800meters from the beach. the gun fire continued for about 45 minutes with varying intensity until 3 police choppers went screaming over my room. a few seconds later canon fire was pounding the top of the hill and eventually all went quiet. apparently the police choppers follow the beach up to the point where they are about to attack, while remaining lower than the buildings and hence cannot be seen by the favela dwellers, once they reach their desired point they hit the gas and scream towards the trouble and open fire. do innocent people die? i would assume so. this is why you do not really want to come in contact with the police, they are poorly trained, corrupt and trigger happy. not a good mix. apparently half of all violent deaths in rio are at the hands of the police.

never ever ever wander into a favela by yourself. the entrances are heavily patrolled by the gangs that control the favela, you will be noticed and will be approached by someone to ask what you are doing in there. i cannot say what the outcome will be when you are confronted, it is not a situation i would want to be in. you will be relatively safe when invited and accompanied by a resident of the favela but it is probably not the thing to do on your first trip, you are basically at the mercy of your invitee and would want to trust that person 100%. its also not a good idea to hang around at the entrance. if a girl invites you to her house ask her where it is, if it is along way away from zona sul then it might be a good idea to give it a miss, unless of course you know rio very well.

you can take organised favela tours, usually to rocinha, rios largest slum with around 150,000 inhabitants. the tour did seem a little sanitised for me on my visit as the guide directs you to the more positive aspects of the community, while neglecting the less savoury aspects, which of course interested me. however we were accompanied by a few trainee guides and managed to get the inside gossip out of these surprising shy individuals, we even slipped away from the main guide with them primarily to annoy the lead guide, yes i know, i am a child! now many locals would argue that rocinha is becoming more or less a "middle class" area with running water, electricity and even internet connections in some homes, and hence does not depict a true "favela". well not long after my tour in 04, the favela was basically at war as 2 drug lords vied for power. bodies were piling up for a few weeks, the tours were cancelled due to no guarantee of safety, peace was eventually restored. hence, it is real enough for me. you can do a google search for favela tour and you will get the contact details for the tours.

before making a trip to rio do yourself a favour and get the movie "city of god" or in portuguese "cidade de deus" (comes with english subtitles). it is an excellent movie in its own right, but also shows the interactions within a favela. it is probably one of the best known brasilian movies to make it into the western world. the story is set in an area which is actually called cidade de deus, it is inland from barra da tijuca, bordering on jacarepagua. apparently it is based on a real story, however it could be about any of the 600 odd favelas in rio. there is also a tv series now, cidade dos homens, i have the 2003 & 2004 series, there may be more. not sure if there is english sub titles or not.

a post by me:

a favela is a complicated social being with set rules that are enforced by the ruling "bandidos" (basically heavily armed gangs), that are highly organised, complete with walkie talkie communications. a heavily armed escort would do no good, there is one way in and one way out. 2 or 3 armed escorts would not make it out. in the big slums, upto a 100 police go in together and stuggle to get out. what you and i would think is logical in a favela may not be that logical. for example:

there is no fighting allowed within a favela. if you are found fighting, you will essentially be brought before the ruling gang and dealt with accordingly, often quite harshly.

there is definitely no hooking allowed within the favela. if a local woman is even known to be plying her trade in copacabana and the wrong person finds out, she may well be dragged before the ruling gang and have her head shaved.

of course, like most things in brasil, it depends on who you know, a well connected person can get away without following the rules. there is alot more to favelas than just a slum.

whatever you do, do not enter a favela unless you are invited by a person that lives there and then only if you know them well. do not even loiter around the entrance unless you know what you are doing.

***food***

you can get good quality food in rio for a fraction of what you would pay in the west. brazil is now the largest exporter of beef in the world, hence every meal generally comes with meat and rice. although the quality is good, they are a little bit behind in the health stakes, everything tends to have a little bit more fat and salt content than i am used to, hence watch the pounds or better still grab an extra garotta to work off those calories.

*suco bars* (juice bars) - these little eateries are great. they are recognisably by the fruit decoratively stacked on the walls and hanging from every available space. many open early and end late, some are open 24/7. very little english is spoken but you can get by just by looking at the menu hanging on the wall or picking up a few words, most people will be eager to help you order, brazilians are friendly by nature. most meals are a combination sandwhich/hamburger deal with a freshly squeezed juice. most meals will set you back between r5 and r8. that is right between usd$2 -$3.

kice suco is a favourite of mine, open 24 hours (maybe closes for a few hours in winter), they even have a few guys working there that can speak english. more or less a 100m from help on avinida nossa senhora de copacabana cnr rua miguel lemos.

a tip: the locals wrap a napkin around the sandwich/burger so their hands never touch the food. this is to prevent any contamination as they generally do not have anywhere to wash your hands prior to eating and rio has plenty of less than clean surfaces for the said contamination to occur.

must try asaci, it is black, thick, a meal in itself, you may like it, you may hate it, but you must try it - go on be a man, you are in rio for new experiences, that's what travelling is all about!

for a list of juices in english see the language section.

*churrascarias and kilo places* you can find them by the signs outside giving the price per kilo ie r15. again these places are great and are everywhere in rio. there are many of them in avinida nossa s copacabana. the deal is you go into the restaurant and a lady (usually) waiting at the door will hand you a piece of paper. you then grab a plate and select what you want at a buffet, no language problems here as you don't have to say much. when you have piled you plate up, you hand it to the lady at the end of the line who weighs it and records the number on your paper. usually drinks are brought to your table. the waitress will usually say "tomar" which literally means "to take" as in "what would you like to take a drink (beber)". some even have guys come around to your table with skewers of meat from which they slice pieces and place on your plate, these places are fixed price deals usually. the places that do this have little green and red disks on the table, when you have had enough flip the disk to red, it means "stop bringing me meat i am fat enough". the average kilo/ churrascarias will usually cost around r12, which includes great meat, a drink and salad. fantastic! you pay on the way out, the lady will usually give you back a slip of paper with "pago" (paid) stamped on it to give to the door lady. these places get really busy around 12pm - 2pm, i usually go just before or after as the local pensioners have sharp elbows and are not afraid to use them. there are of course more upmarket churrascarias that will cost more like porcao. i will usually eat at a kilo place at least once a day.

my favourites are:
*kilograma -av nossa sra de copacabana # 1144. (about 3 blocks from help, ipanema side)
http://www.kilograma.com.br/

*solario: av nossa sra de copacabana #1175. (towards the start of a n s copacabana, the street being 1 way, towards ipanema)
great kilo place, in my opinion the quality of the salad and meat is better hear than most other kilo places. a good meal will run about r12.

*grill inn, av nossa sra de copacabana #1182, directly opposite solario.

nb: churrasco- literally translates to bbq. more specifically in restaurants large skewers of meat are cooked and the waiters bring it to you and slice a bit off.....fantastic. the king of all meat cuts in brasil is "picanha" ([CodeWord134] - kan - yah), second best cut "copine"

*the office*

av aires saldanha #92 a, copacabana.
http://www.theoffice-sportsbar-restaurant-brasil.com/

run by a very friendly hat wearing rogue australian who i like very much. great place to watch american sport on the weekends. always american football on sat and sun and sometimes other days. during the week many semi well off locals go to enjoy the live bands and to have a good time, great atmosphere and mix of gringos-locals. need to book a table on friday nights. meals range from r15 for breakfast to r20-r40 for dinner. beer is about r4, juice r4. in the small street behind directly behind help. if you do take a girl there make sure she is not dressed like a "help" girl, respectful casual dress is the code. you can check email for free after a meal. minimum consumption r10. this is my "office" when in rio.

nb: they have a wifi internet hot spot throughout the restaurant with a number of power outlets close to each table/booth.

*upmarket restaurants *

milano: my favourite restaurant in ipanema is milano: the sea bass is excellent as is the risotto seafood (risotto frutas da mar). runs about r100 for 2 people, the same restaurant in europe would be e250+. it is an upmarket restaurant so dress appropriately. smart casual will do.

rua gomes carneiro, 132 ipanema. (21) 2522-0303.
http://www.milanodoc.com.br/

carretao: an excellent churrascaria in 2 locations is carretao. the bill will run about r75 for 2 people. a slightly upmarket restaurant.

rua siqueira campos, 23, copacabana.
rua visconde de piraja, 112, ipanema.
http://www.carretaochurrascaria.com.br/

garotta de ipanema: (the girl from ipanema)
corner rua vinicius de moraes & prudente de moraes street

this restaurant was made famous by antonio carlos "tom" jobim & vinícius
de moraes writing the famous song "the girl from ipanema" on one of its tables. most of the waiters have been there along time, i occasionally speak to silva, the waiter that filled the request for paper on which the song was penned. he has been there 35 odd years and is a nice guy. it is one of the few tourist orientated restaurants that has great food. the picanha for 2 (or 3) is great, it comes with a small cooker plate where you throw the meat on to be cooked as needed.

more about tom:
rua vinicius de moraes, ipanema: this street, formerly named montenegro street, got famous for the veloso bar, at the corner of prudente de moraes street. the bar is presently named "garota de ipanema" (the girl from ipanema). there, tom jobim and poet vinicius de moraes once admired the charming walk of heloisa eneida, who inspired the world famous song. in ipanema, go to rua nascimento silva 107, where jobim used to live in the sixties, at apartment #201. there is a plate at the entrance of the small building.


tia palmira restaurant:

again i cannot remember who posted this, but i saved it on the premise of trying this restaurant, like so many well laid plans in rio i just didn't get the time but will next trip.

"best foodie experience: if you like seafood and bahian style sauces, tia palmira restaurante is without an equal anywhere. top chefs from the us sit
there in awe (or hustle back to the kitchen, if they know portuguese). no
menu: you sit down and they serve you based on the best seafood available
that day. and serve you and serve you. seven appetizer courses, eight
entrees, seven desserts, for a fixed price of 49 reais. come with a driver,
who can roll you back to the car afterwards. great for a special garota.
about an hour southwest of copacabana in a little fishing village (barra de
guaratiba) at caminho do souza, 18. phone: (21) 2410-8169."

upmarket restaurants by lorenzo, a fellow deviate and contributor.

lorenzo says:-if you like fine dining and are not a penny pincher, and if you find a termas girl that you like and make arrangements for her to take a night off and party with you, why not begin the evening by taking her out to dinner at a fine restaurant? i love to eat and hate to do it alone, but since i always travel alone, this is an ideal way to find myself a dinner companion. however, it's best to do this with someone with whom you have a bit of chemistry. my favorite is antiquarius in leblon, but other excellent dining establishments are satyricon (http://www.satyricon.com.br/ ), yemanja, and even upscale churrascarias like mariu's and porcao. odds are likely that she will never have experienced anything like this, since these places are beyond the reach of all but well to do brazilians. on the other hand, if you are american, western european, or japanese, you will find that even the most expensive restaurants are modestly priced by the standards of your own country. for example, dinner for two at antiquarius, rio's best restaurant, will probably come to less than us$130, including drinks, wine, appetizer, dessert, and tip. we are always talking about a gfe, and to me this is an essential part of a gfe. - lorenzo

nb, marius is actually 2 restaurants next to each other, at the end of leme right on the beach. both the seafood and beef restaurants are excellent. a must do, all you can eat of the finest food for r120 ish for meat or a little more for seafood (r150 per person for food).

*toilets*

generally because the plumbing system in brasil is quite poor, no toilet paper gets put into the bowl. some western standard hotels and apartments have a sufficiently strong system to cope for this, but this is the exception to the rule. hence, whenever you see a paper bin next to the toilet, it will generally be for depositing "used" toilet paper into. if you put toilet paper in the bowl, it will usually clock it, not pleasant for all concerned.

***shopping***

personally i think the shopping in brazil leaves a bit to be desired, generally you can get a far better selection back home, hell america is probably the best place in the world to shop with the best prices for major goods. having said that everyone wants to pickup something to remember brazil by. i usually get a few local t shirts from ipanema or the 2 major malls.

*barra shopping & rio sul*

barra shopping is apparently the largest mall in latin america. by western standards it is medium sized, at best. they do have a good selection of clothes to buy, prices are cheaper for some things but electrical goods are much more expensive than back home. rio sul is probably half the size and worth a look if just to see the eye candy.

barra shopping is located in barra da tijuca, about 30 minutes south of rio proper. runs about r35 in a cab. rio sul is in the next suburb to copacabana. most buses go there.

i personally do not like shopping at the best of times, and hence have resisted all offers to be dragged around a mall by a local garotta and of course be expected to outlay cash. i personally believe to pay a girl a certain rate and under exceptional circumstances a present when i go home but definitely no shopping tours for p4p. many have asked though and i believe the odd gringo does do this. i have heard that many girls will exchange the goods once you have gone, hence it is a judgement call as to if it is really worth it.

*modern sound*

probably the best music store in rio, they have shows at lunchtimes (sometimes), it is nice to browse for music and grab a coffee and watch the show. you must remember shops in brasil are very small compared to the west, hence don't expect to see huge virgin mega store, it is a medium sized store by western standards, but way cool.
rua barata ribeiro, 502 & rua santa clara.

*cigars*

so you are from the us and cubans are banned. no problem in rio, although due to them being expensive not many shops carry them. many 5 star hotels have a good selection and you can smoke them in the bar, albeit it at a price. the second level bar in the marriot is great.

try http://www.eschcasadelhabano.com.br , one of the more famous cigar cafes around. the restaurants are great to eat in, nice and upmarket, and of course you can puff away before/during/after your meal. they have 2 shops/café/restaurants, one of them is only a block away from terma quatro por quatro (4x4) and is on the same street as terma 65.
their locations are:
ria do rosario, 107, centro.
rua dias ferreira, 78-a, leblon.

***movies***

most western movies that are played in brasil are left in tact with portuguese sub titles, hence it is a viable night out for you and a garrota. brasilian girls are actually great to go to the movies with, they are always up for a bit of affection and will probably start stroking you dick with in the cinema.

for movie playing times you can visit this site.
http://www.severianoribeiro.com.br/

cinemas:-

roxy: in copacabana cnr rua bolivar & av n s copacabana
rio sul: has a good size cinema complex.
barra da tijuca: has the cinema that all the girls want to go to. be careful when travelling down there at night. the roads back are dangerous and often road blocked by police so make sure you have id (passport) so they can't extort a bribe from you. the cinema is new york and it is the biggest in rio..

http://www.cinemark.com.br/

***driving***

you can rent a car relatively cheaply in brasil. however they do drive very poorly, no real thinking ahead or thinking of the consequences of what might happen after the fact. very frustrating. the death rate is about 10 times higher than in your average western country on a per capita basis hence drive very carefully!

when out on the country be careful to see speed cameras. they have a low tolerance level and just a few kilometres per hour over the posted limit will see you pinged. the fines are quite high, r300-r900. on rental cars they will add it to your bill after you are probably back home because it takes a few days/weeks to process, and you cannot dispute the charge. hence if you are in the country and see a lot of people break suddenly, take a good look around and there will probably be a camera. they are marked by signs.

[Bubba Boy]

The Bubba report, updated January, 2006. Part 6a of 12 - General Stuff

***Metro***

The metro system in Rio is very easy to use, this is due to basically only 1 line operating (more or less), hence you won't get easily lost like you could in a web like system that prevails Sampa (although I find that metro easy to use there as well). Basically the metro starts at Rua Siqueira Campos station (Copacabana) and you will head towards centro, the sign will say Zona Norte (north zone). On your return trip head for Zona Sul (south zone). To get to the downtown termas, Urugaiana station is your stop and will take about 17minutes from Rua S Campos. 4x4 and Terma 65 are only 2 blocks to the right of the station as you exit. To hit Terma Aeroporto get off at Cinelandia, for Terma Rio Antigo get off at Gloria, you will need a map to find both of these places but they are only a 10 minute walk from the station.

To use the system you buy you ticket at the booths inside the station. They issue a unitario (R2.25) which is good for 1 trip or a Duplo (R4.50) which can be used twice or if you are really keen a Muliplo (10 trips=R22.50). Once you have purchased your ticket, you insert it into the turnstile which will allow entry. The machine keeps your ticket if it is a unitario and spits it back out the top if it is a duplo. You do not need anything to exit the station. The system is very safe and very clean, although I would not necessarily like to take it past centro up into Zona Norte. I always catch the metro to go to centro, much quicker and safe than a taxi. I also find it ok to ride back even late at night. The whole system is monitored by cameras which encourages the would be thieves to pick other less monitored targets.

For those staying in Ipanema, you can catch the metro buses which drop you to the station at S Campos for free. You buy your ticket on the bus and it is also good for the train portion. When buying a ticket in centro to return, you have to ask for the Ipanema ticket, this will be returned to you by the machine as you enter the station. You then get off at S Campos and give it to the bus ticket collector for you journey back to Ipanema. There are a few limited stops to catch the metro bus to the station. There is a stop near Centaurus, outside the zona sul supermarket, look for the "M" symbol. People line up on the footpath for the bus, join the que.

They are in the process of extending the metro line and eventually it will go to Ipanema and perhaps beyond. There is currently a metro station being built at Rua Miguel Lemos & Rua Pompeu Loureiro, Copacabana. As to when it will open, only the gods know.

To visit 4x4 and the downtown termas see more detail under the Centro terma section.

***Buses***

The bus system has a reputation for being dangerous. While they do drive like fucking lunatics, I find them quite good for getting between Ipanema and Copacabana, not so much to save the cash, but more for the experience. Probably not good to catch them to a far away destination as the danger factor may bite your ass. The cost is fixed and is posted on the front windscreen. The price is usually around R1.80 to R2, you pay the attendant behind the driver sitting in front of a turnstile - you will see them clearly enough. Small bills are best to pay for the fare, a R50 will probably do you no favours.

*White Vans*

If you must go to the further out places IE the more dangerous places, the smaller white vans are the way to go. They are safer in that they have a smaller number of passengers. They are not for the first time visitor though, as you will need to know where they are going and have your general wits about you. You ask how much it is and pay the driver at the end. Short trips are R2, longer trips can be R5 IE deep into Zona Norte.

***Taxis from the Airport***

Taxis should be about R40, maybe a little more in heavy traffic from the main international airport (GIG). The trick is, and most locals do this, ignore the rabid touts and go to the second floor where people are being dropped off (the arrivals) and grab a Yellow taxi there. I always have a quick look to see what the meter has run before I get in and have a quick look around. When I get in the cab another check to make sure the meter is on and cleared and we are on our way. Never had a problem with this. The driver loves it as well because he has got a nice trip back to zona sul (the most likely place he picked up the original passenger). If there is no meter it is most likely a radio cab which are usually white or a dodgy driver trying to grab a few extra bucks, best to grab the Yellow Taxis. Late it night, after midnight obviously less people are getting dropped off, I just hail a cab that is moving and make sure he is using the meter before getting in. I generally do not like to get into a taxi that is just sitting on the road hanging out, they are usually looking for a fare off the meter and to rip a tourist.

The taxis touts on the first floor will take you to the prepaid booth and charge R65+, do not let them take you directly to a taxi or you will be fucked. I guess is ok for first time visitors to go to the prepaid booth but anyone that has been to Rio more than once should consider going to level 2.

From the domestic airport (SDU), I usually also grab an incoming cab, total tab will run a bout R22 or so. The touts will want R40+. The money saved from this is not the point, I do it because I do not like to be overcharged for services just because I am a tourist.

Taxi drivers will most likely not speak any English, hence it is a good idea to write down the address or show them your reservation slip before entering. Even if you know where you are going they probably won't understand you because the pronunciation of words in Portuguese is significantly different than English.

Generally the taxis around town are quite good, with a trip between Ipanema and Copacabana being R8, nice and cheap, the meter is always used, if it isn't probably best to get out. The taxis outside of the clubs late at night can be problematic. Away from the clubs the service is quite good, cheap and safe, the meter is always used. I spend a lot of time in South America, the first thing I do when getting in a cab is to check if the meter is on, you should get into this habit as well.

Flag fall is R3.50, rate 1 ends at 8pm ish, and rate 2 is slightly more expensive starting at R3.70. All taxis in Rio run "rate 2" 24/7 in December.

***Airports, Rio to Sao Paulo***

LOCAL AIRPORTS: If staying in Sampa you would want to go to Congas (CGU) which is the domestic aeroporto and will run about R30 in a taxi from the center of town. The international (GRU) will run about R80 in a cab because it is quite a distant from town. Likewise best to hit Santos dumont (SDU) the domestic aeroporto when entering Rio. It will run about R20 in a taxi to get you to Copacabana/ipanema. The international (GIG) will be about R40 now. When leaving any airport just ignore the touts and hail a cab from the front. They will usually be dropping passengers and will save you maybe 1/3 off the fare. Be prepared for the plane to hit the breaks pretty rapidly when you touch down, not a very long runway........

***Where to Stay***

99% of all visitors to Rio will stay in Zona Sul. This is the South Zone and includes the so called wealthier suburbs of Rio. So called because even the best suburbs in Rio will be cheap as chips compared to large western cities, think about USD$150,000 for a standard 2 bedroom unit. Yes there are million dollar apartments with ocean views but these make up a tiny fraction of the overall property stock. The overwhelming number of visitors will stay in Copacabana/Leme (the border is the middle of the beach) or Ipanema/leblom (again, the border is the middle of the beach). Copacabana is definitely the centre of the sleaze scene, being dominated by Help, smack bang in the middle of it. It is also close to the metro and the big termas (L'uomo, Monte Carlo and Centaurus). Many first time visitors stay here. Ipanema is only a mile or so away, still very close and very walkable during the day to Copa. Ipanema is the so called Ritzy part of town. Many return visitors stay here preferring the more upmarket surrounds. Both locations are perfectly fine for mongering activities. Ipanema, definitely has the better beach with more upmarket eye candy and less problems although petty crime can be high on both beaches.

Bairros & Postos.
Leme, Copacabana, Ipanema & Leblom are divided into 12 posto zones. They start at Leme, Posto1, and run sequentially along the beach. Help is on Posto 5. The start of Ipanema is Posto 7, Posto 8 contains the gay section of Ipanema Beach. The Caesar Park Hotel, is in a very hip area, which is Posto 9. Posto 12 is in Leblom.

Ok, now that you have decided to stay in Copacabana or Ipanema the next choice you have to make is an Apartment or a Hotel.

*Apartments*

The 2 main advantages apartments have over hotels is 1) They tend to be cheaper, maybe 30% or up to 50% less for longer term stays & 2) There are generally no restrictions on the number of girls you can take back, and of course there are no extra guest fees. You will of course have to keep the noise level down and you and your guests will have to act in a more or less respectable manner when in the general living areas. A naked Help girl in the hallway is not "respectable" and will get your ass kicked out with no refund. After all, these apartments are occupied by 90% local residents that live there every day. Some even come with broadband Internet access these days.

What are the disadvantages then? Well generally apartments in a less developed country like Brazil are....well....less developed. The electrical and water systems are generally straight from the dark ages and can have problems in providing reliable service. The bathrooms and kitchens can be old and tired, even renovated apartments tend to have very shoddy work. The walls are not very thick in some apartments and there is plenty of noise transference from apartment to apartment, adding to the problem, Brasilians are generally very noisy neighbours, they will think nothing of having the music cranked 24/7. The same levels of cleanliness are also not adhered to. In general the place may look ok in pictures when booking it over the net, but when you arrive it may well be older, dirtier and noisier than expected. It can be a downer to turn up to a shitty looking apartment when on your first trip to Rio. If it is your first time in Rio and it is not peak times (Dec to March) you may wish to book a hotel on your first night and go and see a few apartments the next day, contact a few agencies before you arrive, that way you know what you will be in for. If you do book an apartment over the net, only give 1 days rent as a deposit, avoid agencies that ask for more, then if you do turn up to a cockroach fest you can walk away from the deal and find something better. The one exception here is during carnival and new years eve, when all agencies will ask for more or less the duration of rental in advance. Thoroughly inspect the apartment before handing over the remaining cash. There are no refunds!

Agencies: There are a shit load of agencies you can rent apartments from in Rio. Most are one or two men cottage operations, a lot are expats who have become very familar with Latin American ways. I now live half of the year in Latin America and half the year in Western Europe and the most frustrating thing for me is most things move slowly and inefficiently in Latin America compared to the west. Hence, the service levels of these agencies can be frustrating. I have heard good things and bad things from most of them, with maybe the exception of Kenn (http://www.ez-riorentals.com/ ), whom I have only heard good things. I also used Sladtko (and his assistant Rosa Maria) on my last trip and he was very good, bordering one excellent, I was impressed with his honesty and integrity ( http://www.rioholidays.com/ ). There is also Bobby ( http://www.blameitonrio4travel.com/ ), I use his service to buy tickets a lot, I generally don't use his apartments because they are to close to help for my liking, so guys love him, so don't, he is another option. The one agency that continues to come up in regards to complaints is http://www.gringomanagement.com/. Have also heard a lot of issues about "Marina", I won't go into details because I cannot verify the details that are quite serious, but I will say I would never deal with her. A positive point about agencies is that they can help you out with language difficulties if required and can generally assist you if needed, although always remember they make their living from charging you for their service, festas they can organise will contain a decent profit margin for them, better to organise one yourself at half the cost. Maid service can also be provided for between R30-R50 (expensive in my opinion considering the maid actually gets paid R20 -R30 per day) a pop as required, but no, you cannot fuck her! Most apartments will come with a safe, but not all, enquire when booking, you really do need one. Make sure you do a search on all the agencies before you use them, search google, the message boards and see what comes up.

Recommended agency:

http://www.ez-riorentals.com/ Kenn,
http://www.rioholidays.com/ Slatko,
http://www.blameitonrio4travel.com/ Bobby,

Although I have listed a lot of negatives here, I have done so to highlight what to look out for. Many experienced mongers swear by apartment rentals, if you are careful and pick yours wisely the only thing you will have to be concerned with is how many garottas you can nail each day.

NB. If you rent a very upmarket and expensive apartment, chances are you may not be able to take back guests. You may well get away with a very well dressed lady but you certainly won't be able to take help girls up there by the by the truckload. Enquire when booking about guest policy, they will know the situation and don't be embarrassed as a good proportion of their clients will be fellow deviates.


*Hotels*

The advantages. Firstly there are more of them and providing you are not on a package tour you have the flexibility of leaving the next day and finding something more appropriate to your needs if required. Room service everyday is also a major advantage, all that sexo sure does go through a lot of towels and sheets. The majority will come with Internet access and have a good safe to lock you shit up in. The staff will also make sure your guest shows ID before entering and they will record it, this is a good security measure for you.

Disadvantages. Apart from the normal problems with booking a hotel sight unseen, the biggest problem is the "guest policy". Some hotels will not allow guests at all, while some will charge a "guest fee", and some will allow guests sometime and not at other times. The fee maybe R30 - R60 in a moderately priced hotel. Most hotels that do allow guests will only allow one at a time and may charge for each one. All hotels in Rio have a 5% tax added to the bill for lodging, generally not quoted in the rate.

Some hotels I can recommend at the moment that I have stayed at, but please be aware policies can change over night and hence it is best to do research before leaving.

Princess Copacabana, has a sister hotel in Ipanema which I believe is also good. Runs about R200- R300 per night in peak times, very friendly guest policy and when I was there they did not charge a guest fee. Avoid the road side rooms, they are noisy as hell. I believe they have Internet connection now within the rooms for R15 extra, might want to check that. http://www.promenade.com.br/

Partheon Hotels, my last few trips I have started to stay in Ipanema, primarily at the Parthenon Queen Elizabeth . Around R220 per night and again did not charge me a guest fee, but then again I will only have a girl come to my room once or twice per week. If you are trucking them in it may be different. I find the Accor group to be great for hotels all over Brasil and I stay in one of their hotels when in Sampa. They all seem to be guest friendly. All generally have Internet connection within the rooms free of charge.
http://www.accorhotels.com.br/home/home_pt.asp

Sofitel, Although a member of the accor group, probably don't won't to stay there, apparently they do allow guests but insist on a non negotiable R250 guest fee (in other words: they don't want guests) Source: Jaimito Cartero

Marriot, stayed here on my second trip, around USD200 per night, no guests as I was only there a few nights but I believe they do allow them. At the better hotels you will have to make sure your girl is dressed well, a tattoo'd gangster chick you grabbed from the beach probably ain't going to make it in. Great location, a couple of blocks from Help and right on the beach, well as close as you can get anyway.

Copacabana Palace. The most famous hotel in Latin America (maybe), costs about USD250 if booked over the net, a bargain compared with what you would have to pay for a similar hotel in Europe, think USD$750+. Great location maybe 6 blocks up from the Marriot on the beach away from Help. I stayed here on my first trip, at the time they allowed guests, well they did for me anyway, but then the girl I was with was stunning and super classy. In fact she just got married to a rich expat and now lives a life of luxury, good on her I say! Judging by the young girls lying by the pool in the morning I think they let more than just my girl in. On my last trip, a friend stayed there and they definitely did not allow guests.

Both the RioRoiss and the Arpoador Inn are girl friendly apparently.

What to do if your guest is denied entry -

*Motels*

These wonderful Latin American institutions allow you to rent a room for the hour and of course do not mind multiple guests, hence they are ideal for 2 girls or festas (parties), or of course if you have problems getting one girl into your hotel. They run from average to quite luxurious, with the most famous being Vips, ( http://www.vipsmotel.com.br/ ) where the millennium suite has been used to shoot many famous pornos from Private. There are numerous motels in Copacabana and all over the city. They are used a lot by locals who often live in small apartments with multiple members of their family IE no privacy. The Kman once called his "amiga" who happened to be in a motel at the time, "what are you doing there?" he says "I am with my girlfriend" is her reply, Brasilians really love their sex, in Rio anything is possible! They are also surprisingly cheap with good accommodations being had for as little as R40 for a few hours. Even quite luxurious motels will only run R100 for 8 hours. Super luxury like VIP can cost a little bit more, but they do have swimming pools in some suites, the Millennium suite has 2 private pools!! I think it is about R400 for 8 hours. Hotel Sinless not far from VIP is also very good ( http://www.sinless.com.br/ ).

The following post I saved but do not know the posters name. Basically it is planning for a VIP festa. It sounds like a well travelled game plan.

VIPS: Millenium is R$500 for 8 hours; You will also pay an extra R$40 per person over 2 for the Millenium Suite (makes sense to get extra individual rooms at R$75 in case anyone wants privacy or a place to keep their stuff); with the Millenium Suite, you get any two items off the menu. Escorts from Karlas will cost you R$200 for 2 hours; R$300 for 3 hours plus taxi to and from Vips;

Add in drinks, food (and take it with you, don't buy from Vips).

You probably want a minimum of 6 guys to do the Millenium and a good plan is one group of girls for 3 hours-break for 2 hours (eat, recover etc) then another round for 3 hours. Any fewer guys (unless cost is no object) and you might want to consider a smaller suite. Real, Brisa and New Brisa are all good ones.

***Mobile Phones***

You really need a mobile phone when staying in Rio. It is handy to keep in touch with girls, but I find, more importantly, to keep in touch with fellow mongers. If you use the local carriers expect a few more issues than you would in the western world, text messages can go astray, are not always compatible with every network and not all carriers will allow you to send or receive international text message, but for the most part they are OK.

You have 3 options:

Option 1) Bring you own phone on global roaming, but be prepared to be hit with an expensive bill when you get home. You may also find other mongers cannot text you because local carriers are not always compatible with international carriers. Local mongers probably won't want to call you because it will eat up credits very quickly. Not the preferred option but in bind it will work. Make sure you set up global roaming before you go. Don't bet on all carriers to have reciprocal coverage in Rio.

Option 2) Bring you own phone, make sure it is "unlocked" so that it can accept a new sim card before leaving, and add a prepaid sim card from one of the local carriers. You can also buy a local phone for about R200 and add a local ship, but note the local phone will also be "locked" so you won't be able to change carriers should the need arise. Local sim cards require a Passport for ID enabling the purchase. The sim cards cost about R25. You then add credit as you go, which can be purchased from numerous places including the newsstands that dot Copacabana and Ipanema.

To ask for a telephone recharge card In Portuguese.(write it down if necessary).

"Tem cartão para cellular de tim" (have card for cellular of tim or claro)

The cards have varying differing amounts, when they realise you don't speak porto they will show you the various cards, the amount of the card is written in large numbers IE for Tim, R15, R25, R50.

You will need to purchase the card from the actual Telco store to get started.

*Tim* (local carrier)
Tim has a few stores in Copacabana, 1 location is:
Av N S Copacabana 1103B, close to Rua Djaima Ulrich.

They also have a store in Rio Sul where you have a greater chance of finding someone who speaks English(the large shopping centre in Botafago)

To recharge minutes on Tim: (may require some Porto, or get your Hotel staff or friendly GDP to do it for you).
1) Dial *222
2) Listen to port then press 1 (option um)
3) Enter 16 digit code found by scratching off the cover on the recharge card.
4) Press 4 to confirm after the numbers are read back to you. The last word you should here is "com successo"

Sometimes the card does not work straight up. Do not through the card out, keep it and try in a few days, it will work! I do not know why this occurs, it is very Brasilian.

*Claro* (local carrier)
Claro is also another local carrier with coverage over Rio. I find Tim a little better in that their Text messages are compatible with more carriers. However it is an option. There are quite a few stores in Copa and Ipanema ( 1 on Av N S Copacabana ). They also have a large store in Rio Sul shopping center.

Option 3) Rent a mobile phone of one of the apartment rental guys. This is the least hassle way of doing things because it already comes with a prepaid sim card. You can also organise enough credit to get you through the week. The price varies from USD$5-USD$7 per day and most require a deposit of USD$100. A good option for a short term stay only, for longer term stays go for another option.

GDP Calls: Despite earning significantly higher wages than their local compatriots, GDP's never have any money, hence they never seem to have their prepaid mobile filled with any credits. If a GDP calls you she may let it ring 2 or 3 times and then hang up. This is a signal to call her back and of course use your credits as opposed to hers. Another trick they use is by dialling 9090 (doesn't work on all phones) before the number, this is essentially a collect call. You will know this is happening by hearing a Portuguese message being played before your caller comes online. The message is basically saying "do you accept the charges for this call". You can of course hang up at this point or better still use this trick on your unaware gringo friends as revenge for charging red bulls and whisky to your Terma key (Kman you fucker!).

***Internet Cafes***

There are numerous Internet cafes all over Copacabana and Ipanema. They have 1 or more likely, several on each block. For the most part they will speak at least a little English. The Internet Cafes around the generally area of Help will speak more English, a lot of GDP's use these cafés as well as a lot live close to Help.

***Supermarkets***

There are a lot of small supermarkets dotted all over Copa and Ipanema. Generally 2 big brands dominate the area. ZONA SUL & PÃO DE AÇÚCAR. They are quite small, poorly stocked and not very price competitive by western standards. Still, they are good to stock up on 6packs of 1.5l bottles of water, necessities etc.

The cashier will most likely speak zero English, but none the less will ask you a few questions, latinos always ask questions in shops!. One will be "tem cartão de Zona Sul" (do you have a rewards cards for zona sul) or "tem trocar" (do you have change). No place in Brasil ever carries more than the absolute minimum amount of change, hence they are always running out - asking customers for it etc, be prepared for these 2 questions all the time.

***Washing cloths***

Like a lot of things in Brasil you pay for your laundry by the kilo, makes senses I guess. It is also very cheap. Look for the Lavar kilo places, they are everywhere, you will see the prices quoted in the window. The prices are as follows, you drop your clothes off, they wash it for you and you pick it up the next day or you can have it delivered for the same price (labour is cheap in Brasil)

Lavar e Secar R6 por kilo
Lavar e Secar e passar R10 por kilo

Lavar=wash
Secar=dry
Passar=iron
e=and

An average wash is about 2 kilos.

***Common Ailments***

Every time I go to Brazil I get a sick, one time I was totally laid up in bed for 2 days, seems just about every other Gringo that goes there also gets it and it really can knock the shit out of you and adding to the pain you are constantly thinking about fucking but can't! It is a good idea to OD on Vitamin C or whatever voodoo you normally practice to keep the bugs away before hitting Rio, your immune system may be weakened from the flight, general partying and lack of sleep. I have finally found a solution that works for me. As soon as I feel the affects of a bad headache and muscle aches come on I get stuck into the Antibiotics, the longer the symptoms go without treatment means longer recovery time and less sexo. The one that works for a bad case of the flu is Azitromicina Dildratada (generic name). It costs about R26 for 3 tablets (take 1 per day with food), is available without prescription from the local Drogaria/Farmacia of which there is one on every corner in Copa or Ipanema. They worked so well for me I stocked up on them and keep them in my travel bag. If you don't speak Porto, just write it down and take it to the farmacia, the *back section*, not the cashiers, and they will get it for you. Conjunctivitis (red eye) is also common, if you wake up with a partially closed eye hit the farmacia quickly and it is a good idea to get it checked out by a doctor when you get home, some forms can be more serious than others. Even if only 1 eye is affected you need to put the drops in both eyes because it will most likely transfer.

Tip number 2, for when you get a mild case of Diarrhoea, very common, Diasec works great. About R12 for 12 tablets. You take only one and it should cure the problem, if it doesn't within 24 hours take another one. If you are still having problems, its time to see the doc.

According to the CIA's official website .7% of the population has HIV in Brazil. The United States has a rate of .6%, hence, relatively speaking, HIV is not a huge problem in Brazil, not compared to some African countries which have rates of 20%+. Having said that though it would not be wise to travel bareback through Brazil. Where a little shirt "camisinha" (Portuguese for condom)

Disclaimer: I am not a Doctor, take the above advice as a guide only.

***Vitamin V & C***

Many mongers come to Rio to fuck like an Olympic athlete, no worries here, the contestants IE "us mongers" are not drug tested after the event, hence artificial assistance is allowed. Virtually every experienced monger is on Viagra or Cialis. If you have never tried them, they work quite differently.

*Viagra* will give you strong wood within 15-30 minutes or so of taking the little blue diamonds and last a few hours, maybe up to 6, depending upon the dosage, amount of sex you have, age and of course alcohol consumed. Despite what you may have heard, you do not constantly walk around "pitching a tent", you only get a chubby when stimulated. Vitamin V is my preferred weapon of choice when going into battle. I usually buy 4x100mg tablet packs, about R125-145 OTC in a Rio farmacia. I then break the tablets into 1/8 pieces, my first session with a GDP will be unassisted then I will take a 1/8 tablet for the second round in a day. Towards the end of my holiday I may have a 1/8 tablet before the first session, and then another before the next session, particular if I have had a few drinkies. I tend to get desensitised after a few days. You can also buy 4x50mg tablets for about R90, however the 100mg are more cost effective. If you intend going down this root while in Rio, do you research on side affects before you go as any V purchased in Rio will have instructions for use only in Portuguese. Some farmacias will try and charge R180 for 100mg V, act surprised and they will come down to the standard R145ish or go to another 1. A small percentage of V takers can experience a head ache after V, hence first time up be sure to be careful and take a small dose.

Ordering from the Farmacia in Rio: If you cannot speak Porto and the pharmacist does not speak English (better than average chance), just right down what you want on a piece of paper and get them to write down the cost, you will work it out. They get a small commission for everything they sell and hence are eager as hell to help you, they even suggestively sell other crap that you probably don't need. Sir, would you like Cialis with your Viagra?- suggestive selling is quite ridiculous in Rio. Remember all the prescription medicine gets ordered to the rear of the store, you will see the counter, usually with a couple of guys/girls in white coats waiting to assist you.

*Cialis* has probably overtaken V in popularity amongst hobbyist. These little tan colored numbers last 36 hours or longer, some have reported effects up to 4 days, hence if you take one on the way out on the town it should be good for at least the following night and early morning as well. I tend to find it does not give as strong an erection as V and requires more stimulation to get a rise. With V, I could be with the ugliest of beasts and still get a strong enough erection to punch a hole through a wall. It comes in 10mg and 20mg tablets. Apparently V & C should not be mixed within a 24 hour period of each other. 4x20mg costs around R95-R100.

Generic V & C is available in Rio farmacias at about 50% of the cost. I personally don't go down this route.

Cheap R3 pill cutters are available at most farmacias.

Disclaimer: I am not a Doctor, take the above advice as a guide only.

***Xylocaina***

While on the subject of pharmacy products, you may notice a lot of girls in Rio will prepare themselves before anal sex with a different tube of lube. This is a local anesthetic called Xylocaina (active ingredient is lidocaine, 2% & 5%, with 5% being the most popular ) and is available in the local farmacias for R12 a tube. If gotten on your skin it can cause slight numbness, goes away in a less than an hour. I mention this more as general knowledge, if your girlfriend back home won't do anal because she thinks it will hurt too much, might want to buy her gift......... Likewise, I have found a lot GDP's are willing to try anal with me, often for the first time, definitely use Xylocaina and go real slow (Porto: devagar) on them otherwise she may not let you have another go at her ass. Have I told you how much I love this place?

***Condoms (Camisinha)***

If you are an average sized western gentleman, you will find the Brazilian sized condom to be a little small. The K Man, on his first trip, came with 5 friends, all of them had a little red ring around their dicks towards the end of their trip. The reason, Brasilian condoms are just to small, and hence pinch the "tip", try explaining that mark to the wife on your return!. Most of the big termas actually stock larger condoms, however the cheaper ones do not, hence it may be a good idea to bring a few regular sized "little shirts" from home. If you have to buy them in Rio, try to look for "Preserv Extra" they are "largura" than your average condom.

NB: The Brasilian word for Condom is Camisinha. A camisa is a shirt, any word with "inha" on the end reflects a diminutive of the subject. Ie a camisinha is a small shirt, I think this is kind of a cute name.

***Changing Money***

On my first visits to Rio the ATM's were the way to go, however they have started to give a slightly less favourable rate and charge a few bucks per transaction. Another problem is foreign cards don't always work and the ones that do work will only give about R1000 a pop during daylight hours, they reduce this amount late at night. Having said that they are nice and convenient. The best banks for my card seem to be Citibank and HSBC. The local banks do not like my card. Use the ATM's during the day, at night they tend to not allow you to withdraw large amounts, for security reasons. Have plenty of cash before the weekend because they generally only reset the daily limit in weekdays, hence if you get the max out on Friday, you may not be able to get any more cash out until Monday. Of course if you carry 2 cards you can get twice the cash out.

*Citibank Locations*

Copacabana:
- Av. Nossa Senhora de Copacabana, 619, Cnr Rua Figueiredo Magalha
(Near "Blockbuster")
- Ipanema & Leblom: Rua Visconde de Pirajá, 459 &229, Ipanema (2 branches)
Rua Ataulfo de Paiva, 1260, Leblom

More branches: http://www.citibank.com.br (Click on "Agencias" for branches)

*HSBC Locations*

Ipanema & Leblom:
- Rua Visconde de Pirajá 259 &608, Ipanema (2 branches)
- Rua CUPERTINO DURAO 219, Leblom.
- R RNH GUILHERMINA 117, Leblom.
Copacabana:
- Av Nossa Senhora De Copacabana, 583 & 817 & 1246 (3 branches)
- Av Princesa Isabel 186, Copacabana (lido end of Copa)

http://www.hsbc.com.br/ is not quite as friendly as the Citibank site, but again look for "Agencias" for locations.

NB: You cannot open a bank account in Brasil unless you are a resident (Do not ask me why!).

Now when in Rio I generally take cash with me. Of course this has its problems in that if you loose it you are basically fucked, having said this I lock the bulk of it in a safe and change enough for a couple of days. I also pay for my Terma bill in USD when in Monte Carlo, L'uomo, Solarium and sometimes at Centaurus (sometimes the rate sux there), the change is given in Reals which works for me. They generally give a better rate than the ATM's or the Cambios. The termas down town still accept USD but give a crappy rate, something like a big hotel would give you. Help is a good place to change a few bucks.

Cambios: In Spanish or Portuguese this word essentially translates to "change" IE change your $ for R. They are everywhere in Copacabana and Ipanema, just look for the sign. They are usually a street or 2 back from the beach and quite often share an office with a travel agency. I have also noticed the Euro is becoming more widely accepted and most cambios quote a rate for Euros as well. I guess this is due to its strength off late against the US peso (sorry guys, I just had to get that one in! go the Euro!!). I have also noticed Cambios in Central give a slightly better rate maybe R7 better than in Zona Sul. Of course you have transport cash into and out of the city which increases the chance of loosing it. Just remember, most cambios in centro don't change cash after 4pm, something to do with security.

The rate on my visit in January05 went something like this for changing USD$100.
Help R275, Terma L'oumo R275, Cambios R265, ATM's R260, Monte Carlo R265. 4x4 R240.
The rate on June05 was Help R260, L'uomo R255, Cambios R245, Monte Carlo R250.
The rate of Oct05 was Help R230, Lummox R230, Cambios R225, Monte Carlo R230, Centaurus R240 (surprisingly).

***Guides***

The only guides that comes up regularly without complaint is Don from Rio Trips Amerioca Tours and Gui.

*Don* Can organise the local tourist stuff as well as trips to Termas, where he can translate, give tips to first time visitors etc. While I think you do not need a guide for Rio, it is an option for a first time visitor travelling alone as Don knows everyone in Rio, both local expats and the women, and hence can hook you into the local social scene very quickly.

http://www.amerioca.net/

NB: Don is the only person I know of to have his own monogrammed robe (at L'uomo), something I aspire to! Look for the man with "Donald" on his robe.

*Gui* A really nice guy that I have known for 2 years. Speaks perfect English and Spanish. He acts more of a personal guide for wealthy individuals or execs and will take you anywhere you want to go, including of course Termas etc. Very personalised, professional service and very honest individual, something which is not overly common in Rio. Gui is the definition of "Latin Cool", the girls all know him and genuinely like him.
( guibolliger@hotmail.com ) Rio number : 9306 8076

[Bubba Boy]

The Bubba report, updated March, 2005. Part 5 -Rio De Janiero vs Sao Paulo

They are completely different cities, I love them both. Someone from Sampa will say "Cariocas always want to have fun, they are lazy, they want to party rather than work hard to provide for their families- no one that has achieved true greatest has come out of Rio". A caroica will reply "Paulistas are to serious, they work all the time, they don't know how to have fun - No one Coooool has ever come out of Sampa". The truth is obviously somewhere in the middle but it illustrates the "theme" of each city. Rio is for play, Sampa is for work.

***Sampa: ***

The population is around 17m souls. If you draw a line 100km around Sampa the figure is more like 40m. This is a huge city, usually ranking as one of the 5 largest in the world. A person from Sao Paulo, the state is known as a Paulista, a person the city is known as a Paulistano. Sao Paulo is often shorted to Sampa.

When I first went to Sampa I expected the clubs to be similar to Rio, in that some would be like Termas and others would be like night clubs. While Sampa night clubs are similar to the Rio night clubs, I never really found a true Terma like they have in Rio, they may exist but if they do they are not the norm. Although the big clubs in Sampa are much better appointed than their Rio counterparts. Clubs like Cafe Millineum and Bomboa have fantastic facilities and are huge, they would leave any club in Rio for dead in this regard.

All girls fees are negotiable in Sampa and hence tend to be more expensive than the fixed price rates of Rio Terma girls. This is especially true for the big clubs where the price can be double the cost of the most expensive club girls in Rio, particularly when you add in the high entrance fees.

The clubs in Sampa are geared towards locals, as Touristas are very much a minority. I tend to find the clubs a little more conservative than there Rio counterparts in that the music is not quite as loud and the girls are wearing more clothes.

Sampa is towards the southern end of Brazil, which was settled predominantly by white European and hence the girls tend to be predominantly white. Adding to this, there are no beaches within easy access, meaning less tan lines. Hence the girls look different, less color of the rainbow in Sampa than in Rio.

The performance in bed is a matter of opinion, your will find great performers in both cities. CIM and Anal is common in both cities, although a Paulista is more likely to charge extra for such services, where as a Carioca is likely to do it because she likes it.

***Rio:***

The population is around 12m. Probably 20m within 100km. By any measure this is a large city and hence lots of variety is available. The locals are known as Cariocas.

The Rio night clubs are similar to what you will find in Sampa in the way they operate. However the Termas are different. In a terma the weapon of choice for a GDP is a G String. They definitely wear less in Rio.

Moving. No girl on this planet can move like a garotta from Rio. Fuck those girls can move. Most have been dancing since the age of 3. The way they samba in front of you, wearing nothing but a G and a big smile is worth the price of the airfare alone. If you have a list of 50 things you must do before you die, watching a terma girl dance in a terma in Rio will have to be on it. Sampa girls can move as well, although it is hard to compete against the gold medalists when you are "merely" finalists.

The further north you go in Brazil the darker the skin color. This was due to the free'd slaves settling in the north many years ago. Rio is situated more or less in the middle of the country and hence is a melting pot of color. Being a beach suburb, the culture very much dictates that anyone who is anyone goes to the beach on Sunday, the result is even white skin color is often tanned, resulting in those wonderful tan lines. My personal preference when in Brazil is the classic morena, the beautiful mixed skin color you see on the postcards of Rio. That look is less common in sampa. You will of course find every look in Rio you could wish for.

***Summary***. To party for a few days I would definitely go to Rio. However I could not live in Rio, primarily because of the ever present threat of crime. If I was choosing a place to live permanently I would choose Sampa, hell Rio is only a R220 and 40 flight away. Visit them both!

*When I grow up I want to be like Mike - well maybe not*

A friend of mine said he was at Cafe Photo Tuesday night and Mike Tyson came in. Apparently he was quite friendly and had a bit of a chat. Said he liked white girls and hence preferred Sampa over Rio.

Wednesday night I am at Bahamas and guess who walks in - Mike Tyson. He chatted for a while with Oscar (the owner of Bahamas) in the little VIP area next to the main stage and then disappeared. I assumed he was upstairs. I assumed wrong!

When we get back to our hotel in Centro, opposite Love Story, there are a lot of police cars outside. I go home, the Kman goes in. Mike is already in there surrounded by 20 beret wearing police. Turns out he had a minor altercation with a cameraman outside, not a big deal. If only the Brasilian Police would put so much effort into protecting your average tourist there would be an explosion of visitors. Was big news on the local television for a few days.

*Warning: Club Romanza*, just don't go there, every report I have ever heard about this place is of ripping people off. You will also find when asking to a taxi driver to take you to a club they will almost always suggest Romanza, obviously for a commission. Generally speaking (90% of the time) when a taxi driver suggests a place in South America it is the nastiest rip joint in the city. As a rule I am always interested to see what a Taxi driver suggest and then put it on my list NOT TO VISIT.

[Bubba Boy]

the bubba report, updated january, 2006. part 4/12 - other options

***boites***

these are basically night clubs that open at around 10pm or 11pm, get going around midnight and go very late. you will pay an entrance fee and a bar fine to take a girl out of the place. the most well known is barbarelas in the lido district of copacabana, close to leme, it almost always has the most attractive girls. you also have franks, pussycat, and heaps of others, all located in lido, which is basically at the end of copacabana close to av princess isabella. if you wander around you will see all of them close to each other, don't let a tout come up to you, he will be after a commission off the club, this commission will more likely be added to your bill, just ignore him. entrance is usually r15-r60, which may include a drink or 2. drinks are much more expensive than the termas (upto or more than r50+ a shot!) and you need to be much more aware of your surroundings than at a terma in that they will pad your bill if you are not careful and generally try to "fuck the gringo on prices" if you are not careful. best to just drink water at these places and never buy a girl a drink unless you are very clear how much it will cost you, because it will cost you plenty. to take a girl out will usually cost you a bar fine of up to r60 and the girl will usually get r200 out of you for a session which could last a few hours or the whole night, if you can negotiate well you can obviously reduce this. she will almost always start her bidding at r300+. the one exception is barbarella's (or is it barbarela's, the 2 signs at the entrance are spelled differently!), where everything costs just a bit more, although they do have some great looking girls, albeit at a price, think up to r400 for the super hotties (starting bid will be r500+). franks is famous for its "live sex show", usually at 1am most nights (1am in brasil usually means 2am or later). performance is more varied with a boite girl than a terma girl.

one warning, and this applies to everywhere in rio. if you jump into a cab weighting outside of the club, including normal clubs, they will generally not turn on the meter. a normal r5 cab ride will turn into r20 if you do this without first negotiating the fare. the girl you take will almost always direct you to these waiting sharks, i always just walk up 20 meters and hail a cab and make sure they put the meter on *before i get in*. any complaints by the girl are quickly squashed and they fall into line, this is important in that they know you have been around a bit. the taxis are particularly bad outside of barbarella's, another galling tactic by this club is the doorman will stick his hand out forcefully on your way out and ask for a tip, sometimes the girl will even ask for a tip on his behalf, i will usually slip by him and be gone up the street before he realises. never ever pay for any girl upfront out of any club. if she insists on payment, you may wish to show her you have the money but never give it to her, if she still complains i will guarantee you she will cause you problems and point to the door right it off. no brasilian guy will ever pay for a girl upfront, nor will any experienced monger.

barbarella, rua ministro viveiros de castro, 24. copa/leme

entrance is now r60 which includes 2 drinks, beer isn't served here. watch for the touts that line both avenida prado junior and avenida princess isabel, they basically chase you to get you into barbs. just ditch them, you don't need any help off these guys. they are very persistent, we like to play games with them when in a group, ie 4 of us will all go in different directions when crossing a road, the tout usually just stands their not knowing which one to follow - yes i know i am a child!. if you stay in rio for more than a week or 2 you should perhaps visit barbs once, but perhaps only for the purpose of visiting another club. there are better options than paying r500 for a barbs girl.

don juan, rua duvivier, 37. copa/leme
doma, av. prado júnior, 63 copa/leme
franks, av. princesa isabel, 185b. copa/leme. entrance r15 (includes one drink). doesn't really get going until past midnight.
holiday, av. atlântica, 1424, copacabana
la cicciolina, av. princesa isabel, 185d, copacabana entrance r25 (includes 2 local drinks).
café senso, av. princesa isabel, 7, copacabana
pussycat, av. copacabana, 129, copacabana

there are also a few in other parts of rio. however you can get by with no portuguese at the above places, in the parts of the city you may need some porto skills.

the kman: was dragged along to a club above the balcony bar by his girlfriend and another brasilian couple (club holiday, i think it is but don't quote me), where they have a live sex show. they unfortunately turned up late, after the show had finished. after expressing a desire to see a show, the manager said he would organise one for r100. the party agreed and selected a girl from the club. the manager then grabbed a waiter and directed proceedings. the waiter was apparently thinking all his xmas's had come at once, unfortunately he had performance problems and was chastised, then summarily dismissed by the director of proceedings. while the manager was searching the club for a suitable replacement, the kman's girl suggested he "step up to the plate", under normal circumstances i think he would have, but he was worried he to would fail to get wood in front of the other girl in the party, whom he secretly wants to nail (in rio anything is possible). after 10 minutes, a substitute waiter did indeed step up to the plate and apparently performed quite well, much to the delight of all people present.

***beach restaurants***

there are a number of restaurants that front copacabana on avinida atlantica that offer the opportunity of more than just a drink. these paces are very popular of late with our american brothers, who tend to form the majority of patrons, it would be a good place for solo travellers to hook up with like minded travellers.

food is more expensive than your average restaurant but not overly expensive by western standards. beer is relatively cheap. there is no bar fine to take a girl from here, all the girls are independent and wander in and out of the places all day. a girl should cost r80 - r150 (absolute max for a must do) for a couple of hours - aim at r100. again start low, open your bid at r70. the girls are not terma quality, in fact you will have to look a bit to find something worth doing. a lot of guys go there just to hang and chat with fellow minded sleaze mongers. of late the girls have basically been scraping the bottom of the barrel, but of course just when you say "i am never going back to that place" a cutie pops up to keep you going.

all are on av atlantica (number #), copacabana.
havana café, (#3310), mabs (#1140) , meia pataca (#3312), terraco atlantico (#3432)

***balcony bar***

a normal bar with action. the girls of late have been ordinary, however not a bad place to have a beer.

located on av atlantica, next to placa lido (lido square), about half way between help and leme.

***beach***

you can always find a willing lady from the beach. just smile in her direction if she is alone or with another lady, she may well be a worker, of course she may not be as well. if she responds in a friendly manner you may well be on your way. alot of the gdp's (working girls) that work in copa also live there in tiny shared apartments and hence use the beach during the day. your average non working girl will probably not go to copacabana to lay on the beach, less they be associated with the sex scene. i was with a friend of mine when he grabbed a stunner off ipanema one day (not overly common), we kept saying to each other she is to hot to be a worker, once she smiled back at him we both knew she most certainly was.

***hooker beach***

there is a highly organised area of copa often known as "hooker beach". alot of the girls you see in help at night or at some of the avinida atlantica restaurants will hang here during the day. they will usually go for r80 - r120 for a couple of hours, negotiate - start low. it is directly opposite meia pataca or the othon hotel on copacabana beach, not far from help. look for the small beach kiosk and the associated flotsam and jetsam hanging around.

again be careful here with the touts, they are there to rip you off, not to assist. they will try to organise everything for you and are quite persistent. if i choose to relax her for a few minutes, i will negotiate a chair for r6 (they are normally r3 in all other parts of the beach) and get my own drinks or if i want to speak to a girl i will go over and introduce myself. if you let the touts bring you drinks, introduce you to girls etc and you don't negotiate the price of their service upfront they will hit you for as much as they can get out of you, avoid them for everything but the chair rental. if you must use them, pay as you go or they will hit you for a bill of r80 for maybe 3 drinks......... you can get drinks yourself at the kiosk in the part of the beach. from memory beers start at r2, cans of coke r2, coconuts cut with a straw r2.50, caipivodkas start at r6. be careful drinking beers on the beach, they go straight to your head and you will get drunk twice as quickly.

***massagems***

these little places (usually 4 rooms or less) charge around r50 for 30 minutes, some charge r1 per minute. i find it takes a bit of work to find something decent here and the termas are generally a much more fun atmosphere. these places are set up for the locals and hence are much cheaper and generally less hygienic. they are open from midday or so to 8pm or 10pm at night. it is not uncommon to see the same girls here go to help at night or a beach front restaurant. best to bring you own condoms and lube, cheap and nasty describes these places. if i do a girl here i choose to do her "standing up" rather than use the bed, which may or may not be clean. the rooms are more like cubicles and hence may not have a door on them, hence other punters may well see your naked ass bouncing off the walls as they go by.

in copacabana
praca serzedelo correia 15, room 1104, r$30 for 30 minutes.
hilário de gouveia 66, apt 1103 (level11). r$ 30 for 20 minutes.
av north copacabana 583, apt. 204. r$40 for 20 minutes. no need to take the elevator just walk up the stairs next to them. try 202 when there, it is copa terma r$70 30mins.
rua siqueira campos, 22, enter from hilário de gouveia, you will see the blue entrance with a 2 on each side of the door. r$80 for 40 minutes. a bit more expensive than the rest but still not as expensive as monte etc and of course not as clean either.

in centro
see the "terma section" for 3 places in centro.

there are hundreds of other small dodgy places in centro, they are listed in the local papers if you are so inclined.

***escorts***

will run from r100 -r150 for 2 hours + taxi fare (r20-r40ish). there are heaps of them in rio. alot of girls will do anal here, ask for "completa" (cooom-ple-tah), meaning she will do everything. ordering girls can be a bit of a problem if you can't speak portuguese and do not know how to order thoroughly. basically my experience has been, good/great performers at a cheap price but the looks have left a lot to be desired. the photos on the site are quite flattering, heavily photo shopped and taken just at the right angle. don't expect a stunner but none the less it is worth a "roll of the dice". like most things in life you get what you pay for. if you are a drinking man this could be a good option for you.

you could always do what the k man does, and that is order 2 girls. that way at least one should be doable, the other one is designated the "ball licker", the kman is not and a man to let a naked gdp go to waist.

http://www.scortshow.com.br/
http://www.karlamodels.com.br/
http://www.lindasmodels.com/ (the kman had good luck with this agency first up, second up the 2 girls were definitely not the same on the site, in fact they were so large he commented that maybe they ate the other 2 girls on the site)
http://www.barravips.com.br/

avoid:
www.viprj.com.br crappy operation with only a few girls despite having numerous photos on their site. notorious bait and switch

***classificados in o globo ***

the following is written by lorenzo, lorenzo says:

"you didn't mention the classificados which appear every day in o globo and jornal do brasil. to take advantage of these you will need to read and speak portuguese. the classificados are, in a way, the exact opposite of escort services in that you can talk to the girl but don't know what she looks like. however, to me talking is more important in that i get a chance to see if there is any chemistry, if she has an attitude, and to negotiate services. but i think you can be reasonably certain that she will be attractive; if not, you can send her on her way (although ethically you should pay her cab fare)." lorenzo

***miami peep***

this place is good for a bit of a laugh. you go in the shop entrance off avinida n s copacabana and up to the second floor. you exchange you reals for tokens. you use the tokens for various activities at varying costs. i believe in the private rooms you can also touch them, however i have never taken up this option. i believe if you befriend them you could always make other plans, anything is possible in rio! all very safe in the shop. on the same corner of the street that goes to terma monte carlo.

corner of rua hilario de gouveia (monte carlo) and avinida n s copacabana.

the following was posted by jaimito cartero (10 sept 2005), rather than edit it i thought it accurately described miami.

jaimito cartero posted on isg, jaimito cartero says:-

"miami show club. it's your basic sex shop, with porno booths downstairs. r1 works for 3 minutes. nothing too exciting there, but they did have one video that peta would have objected to. each token is r1, and the guy said you could refund them if you didn't use them.

upstairs you have about a dozen booths and one or two dancers on a rotating bed. r1 per minute. i saw three chicas, and two were pretty bad, and one was very nice. nothing too out of the ordinary here.

they have solo rooms, that you get a private show in. r5 for 2 minutes, again using the tokens. when i went, they had 10 girls there to choose from. i sat and watched the mop brigade go into action each time a guy came out. even used some air freshener too.

each of the chicas has a picture with a number. you go into the booth and put your tokens in, and then push the buttons selecting the chica. your time doesn't start until she comes into the room. there is a plexiglass window between you, with some holes for talking to her. there is also a 4 inch space at the very top, that you can just get your hand into.

the chica i got must have been working there for years, because the pic was ooooooold. she was nice enough, and proceeded to give my finger a bbbj, and then put her ass up to the top so i could finger whatever hole i wanted.

the sperm mopping guy told me that you could have a dupla in there if you put in r50.

interesting if you're bored, you can even go around the corner to the church and light a candle when you're done." jaimito cartero


***villa mimosa***

vm is worth visiting just for the experience, if you choose to do a girl there, then you are a braver man than me my friend. it is basically a collection of "bars" within a small area. security does patrol the area and hence it is relatively safe providing you do not do something really stupid. to quote bs, security is operated by private forces and hence is very efficient. it is not the place to be loud and brash.

girls charge anywhere from r20 and up, depending on what you want. rooms are r5 for the nasty ones, and r7 for the less nasty ones. i believe the r7 gets you clean sheets! i once went there with 2 american book ends, we had a bet who would be brave enough to fuck in those rooms. no one took the cash, i remember some one saying they would go into the rooms if a hazmat uniform could be provided. i believe if you wanted to do a girl you could take her out of the place to short term motel, this may be a preferable option. good their with low expectations. (hazmat= hazardous materials)

vm is located a couple of suburbs from centro. probably 12km from copa and about r25 in a cab.

a post from doc bill on vm ( 17.11.05 )

"villa mimosa: best for last? well, maybe not, but certainly the most interesting. since there were three of us going i felt not-too-nervous about it, and i felt it was something i had to do to earn my stripes in brazil. we went at about 11 on a friday night. it has been said that "if cleanliness is next to godliness then villa mimosa borders on hell," and i actually found that to be a gross understatement. if you're a germaphobe or have any inclinaton to take a crap before you leave then don't go! this was the most disgusting filthy place i have ever seen in my life - people pissing, shitting and puking everywhere, shit all over the streets. it's also wonderful and i would definitely return. the place is like a bar scene in a star wars movie, a true show to watch. about half the girls were wolf-ugly, and about 20 percent fairly good, with a couple of stunners. price was 20 reals for 20 minutes. all covered, quick and businesslike, but what do you want for eight bucks?! as for safety that was a non-issue. heavy police presence and brightly lit, and no one bothered anyone else that didn't want to be bothered. a true sex bazaar/bizarre!" doc bill

***regular clubs*** (with thanks to keldeson isg for posting this list of addresses)

baronetti, rua barao da torre 354,ipanema

nuth, av. armando lombardi 999, barra (arguably the number 1 club in rio)

mariuzinn, av n.s. copacabana 435,copacabana

00 zero zero, av. padre leonel franca 204, gavea, 24540-8041
www.00site.com.br

bombar, rav gal san martin, 1011, leblon, 2509-3599

guopo loco, right next to bombar,
www.guapoloco.com.br

bunker, rua raul pompeia 94, copacabana, 2521-0637
www.bunker94.com.br

club six, rua da marracas 38, centro (lapa), 2510-3230

melt, rua rita ludolf, leblon, 2540-0705

most clubs in rio are like your standard fare back home. they can be difficult to get into without a long wait. of course, like back home, if you take a smoking hottie with you, your chances are much better. taxis outside of night clubs like melt etc can be problematic in that they don't always turn the meter on.

***2 large local clubs in zona norte***

these 2 clubs are not for the first time visitor, they are in very dangerous areas. for someone that knows his way around rio after a few visits they are definitely worth checking out.


**via show**

the following post was not by me, i cannot find the name of the poster, if you know please let me know so i can credit it.

www.viashow.com.br
for those not familiar with via show, it is a popular dance/concert hall located in via dutra, km 167 on linha vermelha (red line expressway). approx. 35 to 55 minutes north of rio in baixada fluminense. everything from live bands to funk djs play at this venue.

expect a crowd of a few thousand on the weekends or when a popular event is being held. lotsa honeys to be found...civilians, not on the program. many cariocas frequent this place.

if you are in zona sul, and not familiar with the public transportation system, i would rec. a taxi. should not cost you more that 55 reals (one way) on bandeira 2 (level 2) on the meter. it is always best to ask the taxista first for an estimate.

by bus, i would suggest going to a rodoviara (bus station), either novo rio or praça 15. catch an express bus (designated by an "r" after the line number) for nova iguacu. sit up front near the bus driver. tell him you want to stop at via show..."para pra mi, via show por favor." wouldn't hurt if you tipped him a real or two. also, the location will be hard to miss. right off the expressway, big signs, and crowds of people hanging out front.

things usually get going at around 10pm or so. the festa continues into the break of dawn. if you come much earlier, you can monger over at the mall across the street.

when you are ready to do the do, there are many motels in the area to choose from. i strongly rec. champion. it is the top dog of motels. like vips in vidigal but, without the ocean view and high prices.

if your mission was not completed, and need to get back to zona sul, i strongly rec. a taxi. again, ask the taxista for pricing. taking a bus back is a no no late at night.

**pyramide**

sperto writes about pyramid:

sperto - "pyramide is a large discotheque. it's located in duque de caxias. taxi from copacabana is about 40-45 reais. it lies next to the delegacia (police station). saturdays are the best. pyramide is my favourite place, for non-pro's, in rio followed by via show.

close to pyramide is a square which have forró-band playing on saturdays. lots of stands selling food and beer. mostly older crowd. after a couple of beers on the praça just head 150 meters up and you will see pyramide.

entrance 8 reais. it's a big dancehall with a top/vip section which you can access for a small fee. there is live music. mixture of axé, forró etc...

just grab a waiter anywhere and he will bring you a bucket filled of ice and a dozen of beers. people are standing with beer-buckets and dancing everywhere.

you will get lots of attention as a gringo. maybe even more than you'll like. don't overdress or flash your money around. try to keep a low profile and smile to everyone.

girls, girls and more girls! i've never seen so many cuties in rio. they maybe won't jump on top of you, as these are regular girls not very accustomed to gringos. just talk with them and share your beers with them. i found it very easy to get dates at pyramide which turned out to be good sex. i haven't seen any pro's there.

safety: pyramide itself has very good security. i saw small fights inside the discotheque, but nothing serious. anyway you don't want to get mixed up in a fight with locals in d d c. be sure you don't hit on a girl who has a boyfriend.

the second time i went to pyramide, there was a fight on the outside. police came. separated the fighters and shot one of them in the head, without any reason. very ugly! the crowd got very upset.

i can recommend pyramide if you want to meet regular girls. you better speak proper portuguese. i don't recommend pyramide for newbies or mongers who are not used to leaving copacabana. i also guess there can be a risk for muggings if you wander around in the wrong streets of d d c." sperto.

!!warning!!
when i added this report for comment, sperto sent me the following message: read it carefully and be aware of the dangers before going.

sperto says: i wrote the part about pyramide in duque da caxias. actually i deleted the report shortly afterwards. the reason i deleted the report were mainly because i think it would be a bad idea recommending the place to my fellow mongers. i didn't think that much when i first wrote it.

if you're not used to places that can be rough, and where it's not advisable to show you're a gringo, then you really should avoid pyramide.

the average monger would probably have a big chance of getting himself in serious trouble inside or outside pyramide.

i think he will be much better of going to via show, which is definitely safer. - sperto.

***gdp.net***

the first i heard of the gdp network was from reading bwana diks guide (btw, try and get a hold of it, it is a great guide). basically gdp workers keep in contact with each other across the city and are only to eager to tell one another where a certain gringo has been, particularly if that certain gringo is where he said he wouldn't go.

i am thinking as soon as a girl sees you somewhere, the text messages start flying. ever wonder why girls go to the bathroom so often? to do their part in the gdp network.

i get tracked because i come back to rio every few months. in the intervening time girls move from one terma to another and hence know who you used to hook up with at a previous terma. this is problematic in that it is difficult for me to keep a certain cutie happy at one terma when she is being informed i am nailing several other girls at other termas. i never lie to a terma girl, but when she asks if i have been nailing someone i just change the subject, "how about those bears, eh?"

never ever underestimate the power of the gdp network. i met up with a friend today, an ex terma girl and the first thing she said was, "you were at solarium tuesday night, and 4x4 on monday". she never worked at either, how the fuck they know is beyond me. however, always assume they will find out and will be able to track your every move!

***so a gdp has kept in contact and wants you to send her money***

i have no problem giving money to a needy cause, a gdp is far from a needy cause. quite frankly, just don't do it, unless you have money to burn.

***my rio game plan***

i posted this on a site a while back. it basically sums up my "game plan" in rio.

post by me july 01:

everyone has a different game plan when in rio.

i personally like the termas and will generally have 6 or so favourites girls rep001tered across the city. each trip a few drop off the list and of course a few get added. i generally see a favourite girl every second night at a terma, the one to see depends on the mood and of course where other amigos are headed for the evening. on the other nights i look for something new. of course if this is done within an establishment that i have a regular at it can take planning.....it helps if she is busy when i arrive…... all good fun.

i personally will only see a favourite outside a terma if i really like her, maybe only 1 or 2 per trip will be invited to come to my hotel/apartment. if she does come over it will be a girlfriend kind of a deal, i will not give her any cash straight out, maybe some cab money or a couple of bucks to get her "hair done", i make this clear at the beginning. of course this means a certain amount of emotional attachment can be assumed by the girl, i also make it clear that this is a short time deal, not a long term relationship. i tend to find if i invite more than a couple over per trip they are harder to control and potentially cramp my style, some can turn into pests real quick. my average trip lasts a month or 3 and hence it is more difficult to get rid of girls than just jumping on a plane after just 6 days in rio.

i will only invite a girl over to my pad if she is genuine and not likely to cause any problems. i have no interest in a gangster chic coming to my pad, that is what motels are for. any girl that comes to my place is heavily screened for emotional stability and honesty. i have a very good "bullshit detector" and hence i have never had any problems with such girls taking shit or trying to scam me. any girl invited to my place i would consider to be a pretty decent human being, hence i also do not want to hurt her emotionally or give her false hopes of a gringo passport. i try to make this clear, sometimes it is not heard though. i like to treat all girls i spend time with like the way i expect to be treated i.e with respect.

on my first trips i grabbed phone numbers off pretty much every girl i liked. now i only get the numbers off the ones that i want to keep in contact with on another visit, hence i might only accept 1 or 2 new numbers per trip. i generally don't call them unless i need to find out where they are or need a date for a dinner party with fellow deviates. i find if you start calling them they get the wrong impression and they start to call way to much and try to pull the "you can't see other women stuff". i don't think i have ever asked for a phone number, usually a girl i have seen a few times insists i take theirs, they are not exactly shy in rio.

i actually prefer email addresses. it is easier to keep in touch and easier to control, because if they start hounding me i can slow down my replies to them. i also find this great when i am travelling through europe (where i live for half the year). it is great to have "uma amiga" (a friend) to meet in italy or spain for a few days of fun. with the ever increasing number of gdp's working in europe i tend to find it is an easy and a very enjoyable hook up.

i have many friends that do 2 or 3 girls a night, usually a new girl each time, hell one of my friends averages 5 a night although he only stays for 5 nights at a time, i tend to find 1 girl a night is a good number for me. i really like to find a girl i connect with and who i see a few times, the sex just gets better and better. often she will let me do things that no one time punter will ever get the chance to do with her. hence, i prefer quality over quantity. my point is every one is different and we all get different things out of our visits, its all good.

[Bubba Boy]

the bubba report, updated january, 2006. part 3/12 - help.

***help***

history of help: i believe help opened in the early 80's. apparently it was a very different disco to what it is now. it was basically a place for the locals and little if any gdps were there. in the mid to late 90's as brasil lurched from one economic crisis to another it fell on harder times and gradually more gdp's started to frequent the place. now, there is nothing but gdp's and gringos looking to purchase a little fun with them.

help, pronounced helpee by the locals, (i kid you not) is a big boite, a massive boite. the latest brasilian/us techo & electronica plays hard, there can be anywhere upwards of 250 garottas, maybe more, at anyone time shaking it at help. 99% of the girls are available to be taken out of the club, they are all independent girls and there are no rooms on the premise, what you negotiate between yourself and the girls is entirely up to you and her. there is no bar fine to take a girl from help. it operates like a normal club except of course there are 250+ hookers in there! it is smack bang in the middle of copacabana overlooking the beach on avinida atlantico. entrance is r30 after midnight and r20 before midnight, same price for girls and guys. the crush just before the price goes up is pretty funny, the extra r10 is a lot to a gdp (garotta de program= girl of program). if you are lined up 10 minutes before midnight expect to be pushed and shoved by working girls attempting to jump the cue. manners are not really the same here as a western county, it is ok to push back and it is best not to give anybody an inch, you loose respect if you do. drinks are not too bad and similar to terma prices. to buy a drink you must first go to one of a few booths and hand over your cash for a drink voucher and then go to the bar. you then present your voucher to the barman and he hands over your drinks. you can also get a vip table if you are in a group and a waiter will take care of you, enquire once inside if you feel the need for such service by grabbing a waiter. it opens around 11pm and goes to around 5am. the girls start milling around about 9pm at the restaurant out front "terraco atlantico", some of the girls never go into help, but i tend to find a lot of bottom dwellers hang around outside, there are always exceptions in rio and your chances of grabbing something cute outside is reasonable, just don't count on it. most of the nice stuff does a lap or 2 around the restaurant and then heads straight into help, you can of course grab them at this point but why rush, in rio you are "the king" and "the king" takes his time. the super hotties get out of a cab and go straight in, they never hang outside.

an average help girl will cost anywhere from r150 to r250 for a few hours to the whole night, she almost always starts the bidding at r300 (at xmas she will try for more), especially at the start of the night where she will almost always "try her luck". in brasil the amount of money the girl wishes to receive is more a desire to be worth that much, rather than what she will actually get. towards the end of the night (4am ish) her price will come down dramatically, especially when she realises she will be going home alone, believe it or not but most girls will go home alone because even if there is a girl to guy ratio of 1:1, most guys will not take a girl, a lot of gringos go there just to hang. you should start your bidding at 150, with a smile, or better still get your offer in first, and move up slowly if necessary. of course a cranking hot stunner (there will only be about 5 or so a night at help) will know her price and you may have to spend that bit extra, 95% of girls will take r150- r200 towards the end of the night, they will take r200-r250 at the start of the night, except of course at carnaval time where it may be more. in winter time, may-july, r150 is more the money, when it is also pointless going before 11.45 as you will be the only person in at this time in winter, at this time it is definitely a buyers market, use it to your advantage.

performance can vary a lot compared to terma girls (which are usually fantastic) and i generally find help girls are a riskier proposition in that you have to watch them more closely. definitely lock your shit up in a safe when a garotta is around, no matter how much you think she is ok.

dress code: you cannot wear shorts or flip flops, pretty much everything else is acceptable. generally casual clothes are the way to go. jeans are my preferred choice and black leather shoes, why jeans? well it is very smoky in there and they are easily washed. nikes & a t shirt is fine, you don't really have to impress the girls here with your $5000 gucci jump suit.

most nights are quite busy at help and hence you can't go wrong with your timing. having said this friday & saturday tend to have more part timers as opposed to the girls you see every night. the kman, a help expert swears by friday and saturday night for a little semi pro action.

you can exchange dollars or euros at help. they actually give you a better rate than most cambios, well they have at least been doing this the couple of years i have been going to rio. you can break a big note at the entrance, just say "dollars" and he will wave you through to the inside where a man will take you notes and give you the change in reals. you can change up to a few hundred dollars a night, however you will be carrying around a large amount of r, which you will want to be aware of. inside the boite you won't have to many problems but once outside you will be on your own.

nb, cambios are money changers, they generally give a better rate than banks and are everywhere in copa and ipanema. last exchange rate in nov2005. cambio
usd$100=r225, help usd$100=r230.
nb, towards the end of my trip in december help was giving a rate less favourable than the termas, on a par with

security in help: there is good security within help, you will see then just standing and watching, generally they are unobtrusive and generally will back the monger in most situations but of course not all, like any club, stupid behaviour is never a good idea. any problems with a girl that is going to get out of hand, call the security over and let them deal with it. i once had a girl attempt to throw a drink over me, much to the amusement of all guys and girls around me. as security started to come over, she starts yelling at them the telling them of all the bad things i had done. security grabbed her and took her to another part of the club. it was a fairly minor incident, anything more would have got her thrown out. kman ended up buying her a drink after finding out the girl he was about to take home was her best friend. i do believe he neglected to tell her he was actually staying at the same apartment as me. i think the kman gets more amusement out of my misadventures than i do. i still don't know why she did it, i hadn't spoken to her before nor did i intend to, she just came up and started bitching and moaning, then went off.

i have never seen a guy/guy fight in help, sure it has happened but not common. seen a guy "drop" a girl with a clean punch one night, she eventually got up, all bloodied and then came at him again - he was dragged off by the police. overheard a gdp say he will be paying "muito dinheiro" (a lot of money) to the police to get out of that one. you do see the occasional girl/girl fights, mostly they occur in the toilet, you know what has happened when girls start streaming out of the toilet laughing and telling all and sundry there was a problem in there. saw one girl slap the hell out of another on the dance floor, everybody just stood around and watched, guys and girls don't really think of it as a serious moment, more something to laugh at, adds to the entertainment of the night. there have been instances of girls being beaten by guys in hotels, and of course guys being beaten by girls and their associated boyfriends - hence the reason for caution and a thorough screening.

if you visit help enough you will eventually get to see everything. one can get as much amusement out of watching fellow hobbiest as the girls. once saw a black guy wearing towel around his neck and shoulders (yes a real bathroom towel, worn like a boxer, not an arab), thought he was the coolest cat on the planet, hard to pay for shit that funny anywhere on the planet. there is also a midget that occasionally frequents the place, she does well, shes always busy. one could and perhaps should make a movie about the place.

***scam***

a few gdp's in help will know and have the cell phone of a the local policia. a popular scam, which is not common and will generally only be tried on a green newbie is as follows. the girl will go up to the apartment, then start yelling over basically nothing, causing noise, which in turn will cause a problem with your neighbours and ultimately you. she will then accuse the newbie of doing something inappropriate and call the police. the police she actually calls will be known to her and hence won't be on your side. when they turn up they will try and get as much cash out of you as possible, threatening jail etc, in short if you do talk to them and your portuguese is limited you will be in deep. you really don't want to speak to the police under these circumstances. if it does happen to you, i would turn off the lights and just not open the door to them. they cannot legally enter (for what that is worth). if i could leave the apartment for a few hours and get the fuck out of there, it would also be a good option. the best solution is to avoid the problem in the first place, screen any gdp heavily.

for further info on scams and police interaction see section 6.

do's and don't of a help girl

what you get depends entirely on what you negotiate. i am sure if you walk up to girl and ask her a price, and you agree on r350 and are out of there, you will get fucked.

***do's: ***

**preparation: before leaving you hotel/apartmento for the night make sure your room is prepared for a visitor. lock all your valuables in a safe, also put everything else in your suitcase and lock it. make sure nothing is lying out that can be slipped into a bag.

**go with a buddy and look out for each other, if possible hook up with someone that speaks portuguese.

**heavily screen her. any sign she is off her head or displaying weird behaviour, get rid of her. a lot of helpee girls do a lot of coke, you really don't need the problem associated with this in rio. i think it is best to spend at least 30 minutes with her before going. buy her a drink, they are cheap as hell, have a dance with her....have a bit of a discreet fondle...(but don't think you are in a terma, as that much groping will get your ass kicked out of the place and [CodeWord140] her off), make sure there are no glowing signs she is going to cause trouble or fuck you. the key here is pay attention to any "flags", if you have any doubts ditch her and get another one.

**when it is time to leave always negotiate the time, the service if necessary (anal etc) and price in reals. write it down when you get home if necessary, one of my friends does this, i think he is nuts (and he probably is, but that is another story), but he very rarely lets any working girl get the better of him and he speaks zero portuguese. make sure the price is clear and it is in reals not dollars. if she does not stick to what is negotiated take it off what you pay her after you have banged her.

**always take a taxi from help but never from out front of help. many street kids line up around help and particularly the side streets leading back to avinida noss s copacabana. rua miguel lemos is the first street to the left as you leave help, this is the worst street to walk along late. the street kids sit in the shadows and watch for a target to turn left in to this street. they then get up and follow. miguel lemos is a little better now that the crepe restaurant and the office have opened, however both close around 2am -3 am, after that it is still just as dangerous. never walk along avinida atlantica (the street that follows the beach) late and never walk along any beach late. avinida atlantica, in my opinion, is the most dangerous street you will see in copacabana, most gringos that get mugged, get mugged there.

the taxis lined up out front of help are a disgrace and will not use the meter, they will try to charge you at least double the fare, maybe more. i usually leave help, turn right, walk along the footpath that fronts restaurant terraco (which is quite safe) and go and stand outside of bobs (a brasilian mcdonalds like burger joint) or grab a cab as it is turning into the first street between bobs and restaurant terraco. before entering the cab ask "meter?" while i have the door open before getting in i make sure it is on before i enter the cab and if the meter is not put i will grab another cab, they are everywhere. this is important in that the girl will know you are not a greenhorn and an easy target. if the girl complains about why you are not taking a cab outside of help just say "outro taxi" (english - other taxi) ----and point to the cabs out front and say "bandidos" (bad men, bandits) and you are walking quickly towards bobs. she will know what you mean and that you are not a greenhorn.

**do remain relatively sober, rio is not the place to be wandering around blind drunk.

***don'ts***

**never pay a girl over r230. when she says r300+, looked shocked and wave your finger, its all part of the fun. maybe 5% of help girls will get more than r200, don't be a sucker.

**never ever, ever pay the girl upfront when back at your hotel/apartmento. if she protests, point to the door. every experienced monger will never pay upfront, a brasilian guy will sooner die than part with his money before sexo. the problem is once you have cum, any time factor you have negotiated may go out the window. if she has your reals she may well head off. if you haven't paid her and she takes off early only give her a proportion of what is agreed, a deal is a deal, surprisingly they except this ok! if you really must do her and she absolutely insists on the cash upfront, show her the cash but don't give it to her. this is the last resort, if she still won't come to the party something is wrong, tell her to go away.

**never ever pay the girl upfront. am i repeating myself here? yes because this is the most important point. don't do it under any circumstances.

**never take a taxi that is waiting directly outside help. they are fuckers. there are signs inside help that basically say they have nothing to do with the taxis out front because they know they are a problem. just ignore the taxi touts as you leave help and go and hail a moving. point to the meter before you are getting in the door and make sure it is put on before closing it, if it he doesn't put it on you are about to get fucked, hence don't get in. grab another, they are everywhere.

**if the girl tries to negotiate when you get back to your pad, ditch her. i will guarantee you she will be a dud, is going to cause you further problems and will be a pain in the ass. write it off to experience, go to sleep and grab another the next night.

**always watch and get your own drink when back at your apartment. i have personally spoken to guys that have been drugged and ripped off by accomplices , not common but not a good thing to go through.

**never ever negotiate in usd$, always make sure the price is quoted in brasilian reals and both parties are clear on this. the "r" in pronounced more like an "h" in portuguese hence reals is pronounced more like "heals".

**never give the girl an inch, she will take a mile. be very firm with the girl when negotiating, smile but let her know you are not an easy target. brasilian men are very hard on their women, much harder than they we could get away with in western countries, don't let her interpret western politeness as a sign of weakness.

**never ever think of doing the girl without a condom, these girls are not tested like terma girls and there are a constant rumours by local guys that i know, of a few girls working there while being hiv positive. two of them are well know porn stars that pop up from time to time. bareback action is more common than your average monger will admit to. having said this, aids is only slightly more common in brasil than it is in the us. it is not like africa where a large proportion of the population has exposure. a lot of these girls are uneducated and some will do you without a condom if there is a connection. if she is doing it with you, she has done it with someone else. don't let that 1 hour of pleasure fuck up the rest of your life. bbbj is standard for most and imho less of a health risk.

**never ever let your guard down………under any circumstances……you are not in kansas anymore……….rio has 12m people, of which ¼ live in favellas (slums), poverty causes crime…..try to minimise your chances of becoming a target.

use the negotiation period as a further screening measure, if she is really going hard for the $ or turns into a pain in the ass while negotiating it is not a good sign, this is very important, if you get any bad vibes or she gives you any unfriendly attitude your chance of a good experience will be reduced greatly and i would personally ditch her. the best girls i have had actually make the negotiation experience fun, with plenty of laughing etc (especially when asking what services she provide) if she wiggles her finger and calls you a safado with a big smile on her face when you ask if she does anal you know you will be in for a good sign. (tip: if interested in a particular service ask 1) if she does it & 2) if she likes it, if she says no to the second - may be time to ditch) the best girls tend to get the negotiation over quickly and painlessly and are less concerned with extracting every possible dollar. one further point, all the girls talk to each other, they will more than likely know who you fucked last night in help and they may how much you paid. if you pay one girl top dollar it is going to be harder to get the next girls down to a reasonable price.

i personally very rarely take a girl from help, i have been there 80+ times and just go to hang out with friends both male and female after i have had a terma session. having said that i have negotiated a number of times for friends that speak zero portuguese. generally speaking, guys that i do know well and are very experienced at help tactics, usually take out a fresh part timer from help and again generally have a good time. if she is a hardened help pro, she is much more likely to give a lazy fuck, munch on your mini bar, grab her cash and leave.

**is help going to close?**

there have been a number of rumours that help will close any day. these rumours have been going on for about 4 years. the story is the lease has finished, the consortium of spanish owners have exhausted all legal means of keeping the place open and are not paying bills any more. the rumoured date is may 2006. apparently they are looking at another location so that could be an option. the locals would probably resist this because the sex industry, well at least the visible places like help and the restaurants along avinida atlantica are always in the news and very unpopular. who knows what will happen. one thing is for sure, the last night would be one hell of a party.

**pricing: is a very steep pyramid at helpee. (sample 250 gdp)**

musings by me, posted isg

1)at the very top of the pyramid, girls will ask and get r400 - r500. these girls know their shit and can work a crowd, do not let them talk in dollars, you are in brasil, the brasialian currency is reals. maybe 3 girls here per night at the top of the heap.
2)near the very top: girls will try to get r400, will settle on 250-300. less than 10 girls per night.
3) young and cute. these girls will all start with a bid of r300. will take r180-r230 ish. at the end of the night they will take r150-r180. the top 10%, maybe less.
4) the rest: all shapes, sizes and age. the bulk of the herd. r150-r175ish. at the end of the night they will take less. the majority of these girls will go home alone, use this to your advantage.
of course a lot of girls will think they are 1 level above what they really are. on your first visit, take a little time to work out the different levels. only takes a few minutes.

nb: the average pricing is for april - november. in the busy periods (dec-mar) pricing will step up a bit, think an extra r50 for each group.

**miss 9.5**, a fantasy sometimes should always remain just that.

more musings by me, posted isg 28.10.05

the fantasy:
i have been watching a certain gdp in help most nights. she is stunningly beautiful, long brown hair, a models face, athletic dancers legs, tan lines that go way up and man can she dance - think the hottest girl in the hottest chic nightclub in any big western city. this girl has it all.

each night we watch her arrive, just before midnight, this girl knows how to play the game, she doesn't do a lap of the restaurant out front, she goes straight in. it would be beneath her to get picked up at the restaurant, she is after bigger fish. she is at the very top of the helpee food chain and knows her place.

once i am inside i like to just grab a beer and comment on her actions with "meus amigos" (my friends), we just all love to watch her do her thing. she nearly always dances on the top stage, in front of the tables - prime real estate. as i rarely take a girl from help, there is plenty of time to just chill and observe. we have nicknamed her miss "9.5", she is almost perfect. we sort of cringe when a poorly dressed gent tries to speak to her, we know he will be walking away shaking his head just a few minutes later. politely, but firmly shot down in flames. when she is taken out, it is usually by someone sitting at a table drinking expensive drinks, surprisingly she is only taken out 4 or so nights per week. although none of us have ever bothered to speak to her in detail, we know her price, she is asking and probably getting big dollars for a helpee girl.

the realty:
every night i have been to help this trip, maybe 15 nights in the last 45 days, i have seen her there, she is never absent. she never gets repeat business. if she were great in bed and generally fun to be with, she would get snapped up for several nights by some wealthy gent, maybe for a week or 2 or more. there are heaps of high net worth mongers that regularly go to rio. this leads me to believe that she will charge big $ and be a 1 pop and out of there girl. in this case the fantasy is better than the realty.

the irony is, she notices us checking her out. she knows we are there all the time and know the score. she even gives us the odd wink or smile as she is passing, we do likewise but neither parties stop and dwell, a sign of begrudging respect between 2 parties with diagonally opposed objectives.

**an interesting post by el austriaco.**

the austrian muses about other options in rio.

el austriaco says:- i thought i'd chime in quickly here regarding the reported skyrocketing in rates commanded by the copa gdps lately.

in 2004, when i spent lots of time in rio, a copacabana (help, mp, balcony) pro once explained me how they price their clients: the magic number is 100.

you speak english? that means dollars.
you speak portuguese? that means reais.

keep in mind that at the time, the exchange rate was a tad below 3 reais per dollar, still. by now, it seems, the rate might be up to 150.

so do the current rates being posted here surprise me, also considering that we're talking about high season and getting close to carnaval, with more and more horny foreigners in town? not at all.

you go to rio, you spend all your time in copacabana, you only frequent the most notorious pro joints, you compare the copa rates to what you would pay in your home country, you speak no portuguese, and you're unable to walk away from a beautiful woman? well, you're pretty much at the mercy of the copacabana pros who specialize exactly in you. they speak english (or a flurry of other languages) especially for guys like you, and they know your type inside out. they've done it a hundred (thousand) times before. they are in copacabana because they know that there, they can make many more times the money the would make hooking anywhere else. you are on their turf, and they got the lowdown on you.

you go to rio, you spend as little time as is necessary in the tourist places, you know termas and other p4p options in different parts of town, you are aware of what normal people make in brazil, you speak portuguese, you have no problem with exploring other areas, and you won't hesitate to walk away when you realize you are getting grossly overcharged simply for being a foreigner? rio has a flurry of other p4p options available for all budgets. i know quite a bit of girls working in other parts of rio that are not in copacabana because:

1. they don't wanna be seen by people that know them personally and work in the copa tourist industry, so they prefer cheaper brothels downtown with regular working hours (which allows them to claim to their family that they actually work a decent job in the big city),

2. don't speak any english or other foreign languages and are actually uneasy with foreigners because they have hardly ever met any,

3. fear the intense competition and turf wars between copa gdps that specialize in the tourist market (and have heard all the true stories and/or urban myths about girls getting killed or killing each other, e.g. the story about a gdp in balcony putting broken glass into another girls drink to kill her a couple of years ago, or the one of a gdp getting thrown of the balcony at the othon hotel),

4. they don't have any real insight into the inner workings of the copacabana scene to risk taking a chance there, and they just feel complacent wherever they are. even if that means fucking guys all day for r$ 30 a pop.

in other words, it all boils down to information, (language) skills, and guts. the more you have, the less you pay. the more the girl has, the more you pay. that's the difference between paying r$ 300 at help and paying r$ 30 in other parts of the city.

before someone says... well, yeah, but how about quality? what quality are we talking about? looks, performance, or both? i have seen incredibly pretty and incredibly ugly girls both in the tourist and non-tourist segment, and i have had truly outstanding and dfe performances both for r$ 200 and r$ 30 (never paid r$ 300, though, even when that was roughly usd 100). for me personally, the general theory of "you get what you pay for" absolutely doesn't hold up to scrutiny in rio, whether in terms of looks or performance. not that it ever does in a third-world country.

so once you know your way around and speak some portuguese, there is absolutely no reason to go for any of the ridiculous offers of most avenida atlantica chicks. my point is, the vast majority of copa pros specialize in one thing and one thing only: inexperienced mongers who fall over backwards to pay outrageous prices by brazilian standards simply because they don't know any better.

whenever i hang out in copacabana now (and i do like to hang out in mp and veranda help, if maybe only for nostalgic reasons) and girls approach me and give me the sales pitch, i always tell them (in portuguese) "you know, i don't really monger in copacabana any more, i prefer centro and villa mimosa". while the vm part is a lie (i never been there, but would like to check it out, and i do know places along the same lines), the point is that just eavesdropping these places will immediately signal to the girl that you know the options that are available to you and that she just can't insult you with a r$ 300 for st offer. you wouldn't believe how quickly rates drop much more in line with reasonable standards, in many cases. you will also see how quickly some girls move on to an more promising (read: dumber) prospect once they realize they can't rip you off. you will realize how hardcore most of them and what their preferred targets actually are. i don't mind, because those are the girls i am trying to avoid in the first place.

there are exceptions, of course. the best experience i ever had in copa was with a girl i picked up at meia pataca and offered her a ride to balconey. we finally hit the sheets for r$ 100 for two hours (and she even paid for the motel, which was r$ 35.00). incredible gfe.

what i am trying to say is simple: it doesn't matter how much certain girls are trying to charge in some joints. rio has tons of other p4p options, don't worry, you won't have to go home broke. if you're simply limiting yourself to the most obvious copacabana options, of course, you're screwed. take it as an opportunity to diversify, learn about the city and the country, and learn portuguese. you'll save a bundle and avoid the hardcore copa gdps.

look at it that way: how much you pay depends on how much the girl knows about you as a customer and how little you know about her as a provider. just like any other business anywhere in the world. going to help at this time of the year without exploring other options is like a car owner who knows nothing about fixing cars and refuses to shop around, taking his broken vehicle to a mechanic who is already swamped, has a reputation for exploiting customers' ignorance, and prone to overcharging. you may get good service... just don't count on it. el austriaco

[Bubba Boy]

The Bubba report, updated January, 2006. Part 2/12 - Termas

Termas: There are 3 major termas in Copacabana: L'uomo, Monte Carlo and Centaurus (yes I know its located in Ipanema but its on the border). Loumo and Monte will cost you approx R60 to get in, R190 for 40 minutes in a room with a girl (a total of R250). Drinks are very reasonable by western standards with most being less than R10, a beer will set you back around R5, a red bull R12, the local cocktail- Caipirinha R7. Girls drinks cost the same and there is no pressure to buy them drinks but you will want to anyway. There will be up to 40 girls at Monte and maybe a few more at L'uomo at anytime. Centaurus costs more, at least 50% more for everything, they maybe have a few more girls to choose from but nothing else really to justify the extra Reals. About a R15 cab ride south over to the beautiful Jardin Botanica (Botanical Gardens) area will see you at Solarium, which is virtually identical in price and atmosphere to the other termas. It is slightly smaller though, but worth the trip if just to see the Lagoa (lagoon) and Statue of Christ in the distance at night, Spectacular!

There is also a heap of Termas in the centro (city about 8kms or 5miles north) area. Quatro por Quatro (4 x 4) is the biggest Terma in Rio and has 100+ girls at peak time, a sight to see. Centro Termas are about 30% cheaper than Loumo and Monte carlo, with the exception of Terma 65, which is now the same as L'uomo etc.

A Terma works like this: You get greeted by a receptionist at the entrance, they will speak English at the places mentioned above, some in Centro may not speak as much but you will get by. She will give you a key to a locker. You go in to the locker room and put everything in there and change into a robe and flip flops provided. I have only heard of 1 thing ever being stolen out of the lockers, for the most part they are quite safe. You can have a shower and sauna etc at anytime, genuine non sexual massages are also available, but I have found them to be pretty average compared to what one would expect in the middle east. They also have various razors, toothbrushes etc that you can use to make you look and smell your best, this of course being a relative term!

When you want to interact with the girls you make you way up to the Boite (Pron:Boi chi-) which is the bar. They will be hanging around the bar looking to interact with you. Be prepared for the bars to be quite small and cramped in a Rio Terma. The girls do not get paid to just hang around, they only earn Reals when they take you to the room (cabine). There will be music playing and it is just like a normal bar although you are wearing a robe. If you wish to order a drink, and you will, the locker key number is like you credit card, you will be asked to show it and your bar tab will be credited towards it. No money changes hands when you are inside the Terma ,you settle the bill at the end (unless you go to Centaurus where they want everything upfront). Do not loose your locker key! The portion of the bill that is for the girls has to be paid in cash!

Once you spot a cutey, just basically look in her direction and she will be on you, they look to engage in eye contact, if this does not work use a hand signal, don't worry once she knows you are interested she will be more than keen to sit next to you. You can play around with her for a while, there are generally 2 or 3 times as many girls as there are guys, although in peak times this may be reduced to 1:1, so generally you have time on your side. You will be treated like "a King", one can punch well above ones weight division in Rio. She will laugh at your jokes, stroke your ego and maybe you inner thigh, and probably grab your dick and put her tongue down your throat within the Boite. They are not shy inside the Terma. After 30 minutes or so of fooling around you will probably be ready to "rumble". During this time you should have asked her if she is prepared to do whatever kinky deviate act you desire. I will always kiss a girl before going to the cabine. This is important because if she does not use tongue it may indicate she has a boyfriend etc and will not be overly passionate. I also always ask if she is going to provide BBBJ, virtually every Terma girl will, if she says she doesn't, you might want to ditch her and grab another because it is not a good sign that she wants to please you. Also a good time to ask if she does anal. Rio is probably one of the best areas in the world to find greek. Maybe 50% of Terma girls will provide it at no extra cost, straight up, 75% will do it once you get to know them, and overcome them with your charm ;-). She will often agree to do anal as a deal clincher, to get you into the room. If you are smart you can leverage this. A lot of girls will also do CIM, think 75% once you get to know them. This is all part of the screening process and will cut your chances on getting a dud. See the screening ditching process below.

Once you have decided she is one you want to get to know better, decide on how long you want to spend in the cabine (room) and give her your locker key and she will take it with her to get prepared. 40 Minutes is the standard and I won't go longer unless it is a girl I know, not much point getting stuck with a dud for a longer time, although duds are not overly common. She will come back in about 5 minutes wearing lingerie or some other bedroom attire and whisk you away to one of the rooms, where you will do your best impression of a porn star and she will generally fuck like only a Rio girl can, and believe me THEY CAN! In really busy times, you may have to wait for a cabine to become available, this will give you another few minutes to fool around with the girl in the Boite before sexo. I never mind the wait, after all I am on holiday and it is not as if I have to rush to a business meeting, waiting in the Boite, hanging with your friends and drinking is actually half the fun, some would say it is more than half.

After you interlude you can go back to the boite and grab another one or just hang out (thankyou lord for Vitamin V & C), it is not unusual to have the girl you have just fucked come back and chat to you, she wants the repeat business. It is not unusual to spend 3 or 4 hours at a terma just drinking and chatting with girls or fellow deviates. In any night a busy girl will only see 2 or 3 clients maximum over an 8 hour period, unless it is Carnaval or another busy time, hence there is a lot of down time built into the equation for fooling around. Less busy girls will only do 1 a day, if they are lucky. These girls work 6 days a week and it is part of their social life, hence fooling around is fun for them to. Most fellow mongers are quite friendly within a Terma, I have had many a good conversation over a few beers, just remember if you speak to a fellow monger try to keep who you nailed at other Termas quiet in front of the other girls, they are severe gossipers. If a girl asks you where your fellow monger has been over the last few days, the correct answer is I DO NOT KNOW.

One thing to note if you intend to see the same girl more than once be prepared for her to consider you her boyfriend. You don't believe me? Just wait! She will often be way more intimate during subsequent encounters, perhaps doing things she doesn't normally do with one time punters. I have often had new comers give me their virgin ass or try CIM for the very first time, you can tell these things. However the downside to this is she will be jealous as hell if you dare look at another girl within the terma. She will also ask where you have been when you are not there etc. I kid you not , these latin girls are very passionate. Some have a definite "Fatal attraction bunny boiler - stalker complex". You don't believe me? Just wait!

You cannot officially take a girl out of a terma, but you can do deals with her to see you after the Terma closes or before it opens. Be discreet when hooking up with them, they can officially get sacked for seeing clients although I have only heard of this being enforced a couple of times and I think it was due to Politics rather than the actual act itself. I have had many a girl hangout with me for gratis after or before work, but then I had seen these girls a few times in the Terma and intended to see them again within the Terma and of course there has been some kind of connection there. They also like going out with Gringos because we can actually afford to take them to places the local guys cannot afford, and I don't mean ultra expensive places, just normal restaurants and entertainment (a young local guy will only earn US$1500 per year if he even has a job, which is difficult to live on and leaves nothing for entertaining dates). The girl will only agree to see you after work if she feels comfortable with you, this will be based on your past behaviour within the Terma and the amigos you associate with. If you can get her to agree to take the day off from work she will be fined at least R100 (up to R500 at some Termas on some days) from the Terma so you will have to build this into the equation if you are negotiating on purely price basis, which could be up to R150-R400+ her fine (think R200 as a good number). To work in a Terma, a girl has to agree to work 5 or 6 shifts in the week so you may get her to play with you on a night off, surprisingly I have found they are almost always available to full around on their day off. Some of course, the minority never see any clients out of the Terma, however this is the minority. Generally speaking Terma girls are a lot more stable than girls you will meet at Help etc, this will mean they are much less likely to take shit out of your room or generally cause problems. Never drop your guard though. I always lock my passport etc in the safe, and lock what won't fit in there in a suit case (she won't be able to carry the whole case out of the joint without someone noticing). Yes it is true that she could cut the lock but generally most thefts I have heard of have been ones of opportunity, cameras and phones left on tables are most likely to disappear.

In general I love the Termas, they are my favourite part of Rio. The girls tend to be better sexual performers in a Terma than any other venue, perhaps in the world.

The screening process: It is very important to get a good feeling with a girl. I always ask the following questions and listen to the response. I ask the questions with a smile and try to make her laugh a bit, if she thinks you are fun she will usually reciprocate.

My questions:
1) Are you good in bed? She will of course say she is the best. This is the ice breaker, a chance for her to relax and loosen up.
2) Why are you the best? What do you do? This is a more serious question, hopefully she will offer up exactly what she will be like in the sack. I will let her answer a bit, and if she doesn't offer up what I want to hear I will then directly ask.
3) Do you do everything? Again I will let her speak and watch very carefully for the response. If she says she does do anal, I will then ask if she likes it and carefully watch for her answer, if she says she really likes it and smiles, well then I am thinking you are going to have a good time.

The above 3 questions will give her a chance to tell you what she likes and what she doesn't like. Usually the above the questions are enough to get her to say whether she does anal or not, without you having to explicitly ask. If she hasn't offered whether she does it or not then I will then explicitly ask. The way she answers is more important than what she actually says. If she says "I do anal but it depends on how big your are", well that is a red flag, more than likely she doesn't want to do it. Again if you have a fetish for CIM and she says "I will let you do it if you only have a very clean dick", again a red flag, good chance she is going to turn her head away during the money shot. On the other hand if she says "I will do everything you want, baby" and says it with a smile, then sticks her tongue down your throat, then that is a very positive thing and you are probably in for some serious fun. I look for the positive responses said with fun and a big smile, personality goes a long way.

I will also look for negative signs, including;
~If the first thing a girl asks is "buy me a drink" I will be immediately on the defensive, if she is anything less than smoking hot she will be dumped immediately. Yeah I want to buy a girl a drink, but only after a few questions and only after I have decided there is a good chance I am going to take her to the cabine.
~If when offered a drink, the girl tries to order the most fucking expensive thing on the menu, then that is a huge negative thing. I will always ask "what would you like to drink", I will order for her. Doing this shows you are not an easy target. Red Bull and a mixed drink together from a girl I have just met, R20 - which is what a local guy earns in a day, is taking the [CodeWord140]. On the other hand my current "Brasilian girlfriend", ordered just that when we met, I was with a buddy and he was with her friend, what saved her was the following - she says "I know red bulls and vodka are expensive, but if you buy one red bull, we can order 2 vodkas separately (between the 2 girls) and that will be a little cheaper". I don't mind buying an "expensive drink" for a girl, I just don't like the idea of being taken for a mug. There were also a few other positive things which led us to relax a little, we knew we were going to have a good time with those 2, sometimes everything just clicks and it did!
~No kissing with tongue before going to the cabine: Just before I go to the cabine I will make sure she kisses passionately, I don't particularly want to kiss a girl with tongue in the main boite, but I do want to know if she is passionate. If she does not use tongue it is a sign she is not going to be passionate, big enough negative to ditch her in some cases.
~Additionally: I always make sure you get a good look at the girl, sometimes lighting can be a bit ordinary, sometimes a girl looks completely different when sitting down, particularly in Brasil when you really need to look at the complete package while standing. Another friend of mine was sitting with a girl, and she did look cute, when he decided to take her to the room she gets up and says "so, you like a girl with a big ass do you", to his horror he looked down and saw a massive Bunda (ass). This catch phrase has become part of our vocabulary, as in when a friend says "what do you think of this babe?" to which you reply, "so, you like a girl with a big ass?" IE her ass is a bit on the heavy side.

The ditching process: Some first timers can get trapped by an overly aggressive girl. I always find these girls are the worst in bed. The most popular girls tend to not approach you, they don't have to. A lot of western guys are sometimes too polite to get rid of the overly aggressive girl. Remember you are a paying customer, you are there for the purpose of banging the girl you want to bang, hence be polite but firm in the ditching process. If you get trapped, try the following.

~Get up and go to the bathroom, when you come back stand at the bar for a while. If she comes back and tries to grab you again, just say I want to relax a bit or keep moving, a moving target his hard to hit, move around.
~Of course it is more difficult if you have already groped her, hence I try to be a little distant until I know there is going to be a good chance of going upstairs.

****Zona Sul Termas.****

Zona Zul is "the south zone", an area anywhere south of Central and is where you will stay for your first visit to Rio. It includes Ipanema - Leblom, Copacabana - Leme.

***L'uomo***

: Rua Siqueira Campos, 143. Copacabana. http://www.luomo.com.br/ Open 7days from 4pm until 1am-ish. (up to 60 girls). Gets busy from the get go. Closes at midnight-ish on Saturday and Sunday (last bang is 11pm-ish).
Break down of Prices:-
R60, Entrance (reduced to R50 if you take a girl, reduced to R30 if you do 2 sessions, nil for 3 girls).
R60, Room hire 40 minutes
R130, girl for 40 Minutes
R240 in total plus drinks if you session for a girl for 40 minutes.

I always make this my first stop on any trip to Rio. If my plane arrives after 4pm, I just throw my bags down in my Hotel Room and start the walk to Rua S Campos, with anticipation, I travel the escalator up to the second floor, round the corner, and I am usually warmly greeted by the doorman. I just can't wait to greet old friends, and see who are going to be my new friends. Had my first girl here in Rio, who is sadly married now, she was just great and I wish her all the best.

L'uomo is by far the friendliest Terma in town. You very rarely have duds here and quite often you can arrive at 5pm and stumble out at midnight wondering where the time went. You can also buy the music that plays there, great souvenir to remember the place by, just see the DJ or get a girl to ask him for you. DJ Carlos, who has been there for a couple of years speaks some English, he is not there every night. Cost R30.

Interestingly this is the only Terma I have seen women as customers frequent. I have only seen this 3 times, never seen it at other any other Terma. It is always in a couples situation where they will take an extra girl back to the cabine. Most of the other mongers are quite cool about it, hell there is 50 other semi naked women in there, a "civilian" in a robe is not likely to draw much attention.

Directions to L'uomo:
L'uomo, can be a little hard to find because it is tucked away in a shopping mall (for antiques). If you are walking up Rua Siqueira Campos from the beach (against traffic - it is a one way street), after 4 blocks (just over the street of Tonelero) you will see a fork in the road, follow it around to the left. You will see the Metro station entrance on the left and then next to that a large building which contains L'oumo. Before entering the mall, hang back on the street and look up to the second floor, half way along, you may have to do this from the other side of the street, but it is worth it to get your bearings. You will see the neon sign welcoming you. Then simply enter the shopping centre, find the nearest escalator and you will find it. One thing to note if you get a cab there, the driver will get a R20 commission for taking you there. I find all cab drivers/commissions distasteful and hence simply ask to get dropped at the Metro station next door and don't mention where I am going. Metro Siqueira Campos.

I have been busted! (Oct05) I got busted at L'uomo for having a mobile phone in the Boite. I was just texting a guy we were meeting up with later. They have banned all mobiles in the boite because guys were supposedly in there taking photos with them. Anyway I got the shits a bit because my phone does not have a camera in it, and even when I pointed this out they still said it is not allowed. Pretty stupid policy considering my friend was in a cabine taking a lot of pics of one of the chics fingering her pussy and ass with his brand new USD$400 digital camera.
Further update: The next visit a friend of mine needed to use his phone in the boite, he goes up to the owner and asks, "no problem" is the reply. A girl tells my friend he cannot use his phone, he just points to the owner and she sheepishly returns to her seat.

***Solarium***

Address:- Rua JJ Seabra, 21, Jardim Botanica.
Website:- http://www.solarium.com.br/ .
Hours:- 3pm-2am M-F, 4pm-11pm Sat-Sun. (up to 40 girls).
Break down of Prices:-
R60, Entrance.
R60, Room hire 40 minutes
R130, girl for 40 Minutes
R250 in total plus drinks if you session for a girl for 40 minutes.

Solarium is smaller in size than most Termas. When I was here in November 04, I found the mongers tended to be mostly local Brazilians, who actually prefer a generous bunda (ass), as opposed to *this white boy* who likes them nice and slim, hence I tended to struggle to find someone who appealed to me here. On a visit in Feb05, the girls had completely changed and there were a number of nice young slim girls. One girl was cranking hot, but alas my amigo (the Kman) nailed here (twice) and unfortunately I did not get her. She will be there on my next visit and if she is not I am sure there will be another replacement.

Further update from my trip in Late 05, the cranking hot chic was not there but we did bump into her in Sao Paulo. How did she look? Well, the K Man suggested she had been on the "dessert 2 hours before dinner diet", IE she was carrying a lot of extra weight, 8 months is along time for a GDP. She is a nice chic though and we hung with her a while in Bahamas. The talent was pretty good on this trip, a nice selection for all but one must remember, there are fewer ladies to choose from compared to other Termas.

NB1: If you take a taxi over to Solarium avoid the peak traffic times like 5pm -7pm. Try to get there by 4.30pm or after 7pm, the trip is short but the traffic very ugly in peak times, think 40minutes for a normal 15 minute trip.

NB2: Sometimes they have specials for their newsletter clients, hence you may wish to enter your email address at their website. The special has been a no charge for the room on certain days to the value of R60. If you get this sent to you and want to use it, make sure you read it carefully, the coupon is usually only valid with a 40 minute booking and on certain days. Monte Carlo is owned by the same people and offers the same deal on a different day.

***Monte Carlo***:

Address:- Rua Hilario De Gouveia, 19. Copacabana.
Website:- http://www.termasmontecarlo.com.br/.
Hours:- 3pm-1am M-F, 4pm-11pm Sat-Sun. (up to 50 girls, all their by 5pm ish).
Break down of Prices:-
R60, Entrance.
R60, Room hire 40 minutes
R130, girl for 40 Minutes
R250 in total plus drinks if you session for a girl for 40 minutes.

The staff here tends to turnover fast, hence if you don't like the selection one day, give it a few days and you might see some new faces in the line. Great location, nice and close to ground zero.

Note, of late maybe 35% of girls have been doing CBJ here, best to ask the girl if needed. It doesn't take much effort to get the girls to give BBBJ, even when they normally give CBJ.

The same people that own Solarium own Monte Carlo. I have heard a few complaints about the management here in regards to disputes. Generally they will back the girl in such a situation. I have told the manager exactly what I think of him and refuse to acknowledge his presence when I go there. Maybe pedantic on my part but I am a paying customer and expect to be treated like I treat the girls IE with respect. They have also lost a lot of their top girls to Centaurus, again because many people do not like the current managers.

NB: Sometimes they have specials for their newsletter clients, hence you may wish to enter your email address at their website. The special has been a no charge for the room on certain days to the value of R60. If you get this sent to you and want to use it, make sure you read it carefully, the coupon is usually only valid with a 40 minute booking and on certain days. Solarium is also and offers the same deal on a different day.

***Centaurus***

Rua Caning 44, x Rua Rainha Elizabeth, Ipanema . On some maps Rua Caning does not appear as it is relatively small, no problem look for Rua Rainha Elizabeth and you can't miss it. On the border of Copa and Ipanema.
Hours:- 4pm-2am ish M-F, 4pm-12pm Sat. (up to 70+ girls, starting in staggered shifts, all there by 7pm ish, they start to leave at midnight).
Break down of Prices:-
R90, Entrance.
R220, Room hire 40 minutes+girl (girl gets R130)
R310 in total plus drinks if you session for a girl for 40 minutes.

They ask you to pay for R310 upfront, a tacky practise that many mongers do not like. You can get around this by just saying you prefer to pay for the entrance of R90 on the way in and they will allow this. It is the best option because you will not get a refund if you leave without taking a girl. They speak English quite well so you will have no problem relaying to them that you only want to pay the entrance upfront. Of course when you do grab a girl you will have to go back down to the boite and pay for the girls fee before nailing her unless you are known to them, then they will let you pay everything on the way out. Also be careful to ditch the "welcoming girl", girls that latch onto you suckerfishlike when you enter the locker on the premise of helping you change, these girls are always the least popular and should be ditched quickly. The best girls are so busy they are always in the boite, which is upstairs.

This place polarises people. Some guys swear by it because of the quality of the girls looks, and they generally do have the most attractive girls. Other guys refuse to go there complaining that the management has a poor attitude, which is generally conceded that they do. The girls tend to be a lot more pushy about upgrades for suites, getting you to do 2 girls at the same time etc here, and this places absolutely kills you on the upgraded price - think R220 for 40 minutes vs R400 for the 60 minute suite option (nearly double the price for an extra 20minutes is taking the [CodeWord140]) . Don't be afraid to say no, they are so pushy (instructed by management) that you may have to say it twice or three or four times, in many respects they are like pesky beach vendors. I use this to my advantage by basically holding auditions, any sign she is not passionate enough (a very common complaint here) and I ditch her, another will quite eagerly dive into her place, they are quite shameless here. I ask them a lot of questions before going to a cabine, any CBJ shit will get her ditched pretty damn quick. Remember: when you are in Rio you are the *king* and the king never hurries for anybody.

The bar staff have an annoying habit of asking for a tip. They get a napkin and ask the amount you want to tip them and put your key number next to the amount. First time they got me, now I just wave my finger to signify I do not approve and walk away. No other Terma allows their bar staff to do this. I refuse to tip any establishment that has bad management, Barabarrellas is another place I refuse to tip anyone due to their attitude.

40minutes in a cabine is not always such: Most girls, unless they know you, will allow one shot and then it is out of the cabine regardless of how much time you have actually spent in the room. This is the only terma that allows their girls to do this, well at least on a regular basis anyway.

One further point: All the other major Zona Sul termas just put up their price before I finished this report, hence Centaurus will probably up theirs as well. Think R340 in total soon, maybe for Jan-Feb as it is the best time to raise process because the most mongers are there.

An aside: Bar Fines at Centaurus for the girls taking the day off: The day after a holiday will incur the girl a fine of R500 for a no show, Saturday it is R300, R100 for other days. They do this to make sure a full shift is present. Hence, any bargaining for a girl to take the day off will have to work the fine into the total amount.

A further update, a day before New Years Eve: Two friends of mine decide to go to Centaurus. Both have been there a number of times. Both wish to just pay the upfront entrance fee. They noted it was very busy because there were guys lining to pay and there were no girls in the "welcoming pen" - a sure sign all the girls are occupied. The K Man has his R90 and puts it down like always, the receptionist says today they require everything upfront (the first time in a year we have seen this). The K Man looks around and says "no thanks, and leaves". His friend decides to go in, pays the full R310 and goes upstairs. The place was packed with guys, he grabs a girl he knows and they find out there is a 30minute wait on cabines (which is not abnormal in busy periods), after 30 mins they tell him there is still a 30min wait. Then after another 30mins they tell him there is still time to wait. He has to get back to his real girlfriend who is coming home from work soon hence he can't wait any longer. He cancels the cabine and goes down, gets dressed and goes to reception. He asks for his bill, they say the total bill is R390. Ie R310 entrance and R80 in drinks. He argues with them for a while but this is Centaurus, the management does not relent, he has to pay the full R390 despite not even taking a girl. Can you see why a lot of experienced mongers detest this place! I would never enter if I had to pay the full R310 upfront, R90 is more than enough.

*** Boronia***

Address:- R Min alfredi Valadao No 36, Copa . Close to L'uomo
Hours:- 4pm-1am M-F, 4pm-12am S-S. (up to 20 girls).
Break down of Prices:-
R**, Entrance.
R**, Room hire 40 minutes + girl
R** in total plus drinks if you session for a girl for 40 minutes.
(I think the pricing is slightly cheaper than L'uomo , think 25% less)

New terma, formerly a gay sauna, of which there is quite a few in the same area. Not much is known about this place but if you are in the area have a look.

***Rio Antigo***

Address:- Joaquim Silva, 2, Gloria. (can get there easily from Gloria Metro station)
Website:- http://www.rioantigo.com.br/
Hours:- 2pm-12am M-F (up to 30 girls, Girls are more or less all there by 5pm.).
Break down of Prices:-
R50, Entrance.
R140, Room hire 40 minutes + girl (R200 for 60 minute suite inc girl)
R190 in total plus drinks if you session for a girl for 40 minutes.

Not far from Centro but still in Zona Sul. I had not really visited this place much until my visits in Jan05 and Feb05 due to it being relatively small. However it has become a favourite of mine because I found a couple of girls that were outstanding. Rooms are very new and nice, with little wash basins for cleaning up afterwards (one girl dropped her pants right in front of me and pissed in the basin, as I smiled to her thinking "what the fuck", she just laughed, I love the attitudes of these girls). Very much a locals place, English is spoken by at least one of the receptionists.

Best time to arrive is around 5pm, maybe just before, any earlier and not everyone has arrived yet and you will be most likely be the only guy there. Generally does not get packed by men at any time, mostly Brasilian men as clients who tend to grab one girl and sit on her for a couple of hours. Much better Tues-Wed-Thur, I have found Mon & Friday to be very quiet and not all girls are present.

At most Termas in Rio you can get genuine massages, I find them ordinary, certainly compared to in Asia, and generally not worth it. I kid you not, once at Antigo an old lady offered a handjob or BJ for R40 during the massage, she reminded me of my mother, no thanks doris!

A young black waiter has worked there for a while, he speaks excellent English and is a good guy. I usually give him R5 or R10 on the way out. Remember most of these guys are earning R500 a month, that's R20 per day, R5 can go along way to making some ones day. I also give the locker attendant R2 or so, once I gave her R20 after a lady had an accident while letting me bang her ass there, you can well imagine the robe was not the prettiest when returned and she earned the R20 tip!

Many travesti's are lined up on the main street directly outside Antigo at night, not my thing but a spectacle none the less. It is kind of cool to see lots of normal people just going about there business when there is literally a tranny every 10 yards wearing a G. One warning and this applies to all streetwalkers in Rio, they are notorious pickpockets, hence be very aware of where you cash is if you do get enticed for a chat. I have generally found the surrounding area to be safe for me, I catch the metro back at night.

****Centro Termas****:

Centro is a great place to go and see where the locals work. I actually spend more time in the centro termas now than the more tourist orientated ones of zona sul. Best way to get there is by Metro (Urugaiana station) during the day (about 15minutes) and then a 10minute walk. I just love the hot balmy walk through the narrow streets to the Termas. A cab back to Copacabana at night will be about R19. All Centro termas are closed on the weekend. Most are open from 2pm to 12pm but don't get going until 3 or 4pm.

Although most downtown Termas will let you pay for services in USD, they will give you a poor rate. Maybe 10% -15% less than money changers. They will slug you for using a credit card by about 10%. Girls fees must be paid in cash on way out to the receptionist. Generally, the city Termas have less girls working on Monday nights, Tuesday and Thursday can be the busiest.

**Directions for 4x4,65, 502 from the Uruguaiana Metro Station**

For more on how to use the metro system, look in the general section (part 6)

You will get on the metro at Copacabana, S Campos. When the train stops at Uruguaiana you will get out on the right side of the doors. You then go up the steps and through the exit turnstiles. Head for the signs saying "Uruguaiana exit", follow them, they are to the right side of the train (if you are travelling from Copa etc). When you go up the stairs or escalator exiting the station onto the street continue to walk straight ahead. The first street you hit will be Rua Uruguaiana running perpendicular. Turn right at this point and cross the street. The next 3 streets, if you continue to walk to the right are listed below in order. You turn left off Uruguiana into each of them to get to a Terma.

First street will be *) Rua de Alfandega (502)
Second street will be *) Rua Buenos Aires (4x4)
Third street will be *) Rua do Rosario (502)

To go to Terma 502, take Rua de Alfandega, walk down about 400 yards and you will see the blue awning at number 65 on the right, just before a major intersection that is Av Rio Branco. Go up the stairs to grab a piece of ass.

To go to 4x4, take Rua Buenos Aires. Go down 400 yards and over the major intersection that is Av Rio Branco. 4x4 is another 150 yards down on the left and a must see when in Rio.

To go to Terma 65, take Rua do Rosario, go over the major intersection that is Av Rio Branco, it is about 500 yards down on the right.

I find the area quite safe to walk back to the metro on the way home. I guess the later it gets the more chance you will take, but I have walked to the metro at 10pm many times without a drama. Actually felt a lot safer than walking around Copa at this time. However, as always be aware of your surroundings, if you do not feel comfortable grab a cab, make sure the meter is on and head home.

***Quatro Por Quatro***, (or in English: 4x4 aka 44)

Address:- Rua Buenos Aires 44, Centro. (can get there easily from Uruguiana station)
Hours:- 2pm-12am M-F (up to 120 girls, Girls are more or less all there by 5pm.).
Break down of Prices:-
R30, Entrance. (Waived to nil of you take a girl to a cabine before 5pm)
R170, Room hire 60 minutes + girl (room has a shower in it, 40 minute rooms don't)
R200 in total plus drinks if you session for a girl for 40 minutes.
NB: The 40 minute rooms are R150, hence go the extra R20 for the extra R20 for more time and a shower in the room.

This Terma is great, it is by far the biggest Terma in Rio and I just love it. The girls can be described best as having a "Gangsta" look with plenty of Ink. It is set up primarily for the locals, hence the predominant shape is big asses, but all shapes and sizes are present, and many touristas do go there. On some trips I sometimes struggle to find a girl I like here because my taste leans more towards a slim clean look - sem (without) tatoos, however with over 100 girls, one can always find something, quality by quantity I have heard it best described. The atmosphere here is great, local Brasilain and US funk plays HARD. I find the best time to get there is around 3.30pm where I relax a bit and then grab a girl by 5pm, before the R30 fee, but primarily before the crowds get really thick. Having said this you will want to experience the Terma in full swing, after 8pm, when it is so crowed you can't move, akin to a fucking zoo and the music so loud you can't think. If there was to be a fire in there you would surely die, not a chance in hell of getting out. Just remember amongst the 200 odd heaving bodies, half will be wearing a G String and a smile, hence the rewards are there.

If you are a fan of big asses, this place will rock your world. A lot of our American brothers, who tend to like a generous bunda (ass) love this place, they all rate it a not to be missed attraction. 44 also has a small fraternity of "body builder" type chics present, pure Gansta!. Watch you head when going up the stairs, it is built for people less than 6 feet tall.

I banged this great girl there in Dec 05. She passed the screening process with flying colours. When I asked her if she was good in bed she just looked at me and said "Sim, Eu faço tudo, TUDO" (Yes, I do everything, EVERYTHING). The last "TUDO" was emphasized by her outstretched arm sweeping the horizon….and she did! After, as we were walking back to the subway, meu amigo (My friend-male), The Kman, noticed she was on the cover off a porno being sold by a street vendor. I brought the Porno but they put the wrong DVD in it, hence I did not see "minha amiga" (My friend - female) getting banged, but the girl that appeared in the other DVD, that they mistakenly placed in the cover, I had also banged, can only happen in Rio!! How many countries in the world would this happen? Have a told you lately how much I love Brazil?

An interesting point: The locals guys tend to go to Termas, primarily to drink and maybe grab a cheap feel, the majority won't take a girl to a cabine at all, they can't really afford it despite them being young upwardly mobile professionals and probably in the top bracket of wage earners, the salaries in Brazil are really poor compared to western standards. I make this point because even when 4x4 is crowed as hell, and it does get crowded, pushing and shoving is accepted (don't be offended if you get nudged - it is an acceptable part of the culture) there are still plenty of girls available, and generally the girls will know you, being a gringo, are there for sexo. Interestingly a lot of the local clients at 4x4 are Police, did I mention this place is underworld or what?

A further point: There is a lovely old black lady that works as a locker attendant in the first changing room after the reception area. She has been there every since I have been going there. I always give her R5, she speaks no English, throw her a R1 or R2.

***Termas 65*** (aka Meio cinco)

Upto 40 girls.
Address:- Rua do Rosario, 65, Centro. (can get there easily from Uruguiana station)
Website:- http://www.termas65.com.br/
Hours:- 2pm-12am M-F (up to 40 girls, Girls are more or less all there by 5pm.).
Break down of Prices:-
R235 in total plus drinks if you session for a girl for 40 minutes.

One block from 4x4, this place is slightly more expensive than most in centro. Quality at my last visit was quite good. The boite is very small though. Girls tend to be a bit more classy (although not much!) than the Gangstas at 4x4.

Note, For numbers, particularly phone numbers or places, seis (6) is usually not used in the spoken sense. Rather "meio", as in Half a dozen, is more common.

***Termas Cancun***

Address:- Rua Do Carmo, 64, Centro
Hours:- 3pm-12+am M-F .
Break down of Prices:-
R30, Entrance, waived if you take a girl before 5pm.
R170, Room hire 60 minutes + girl
Total price: R200 in total, plus drinks (identical price to 4x4)

This is a brand new Terma, I have yet to visit it but the K Man reckons it is the next big thing. Apparently a former partner of 4x4 decided he would go and open his own Terma and hence Cancun was born.The KMan reckons it will take a lot if not most of the old 4x4 business because the facilities are so nice. It is already busy and has a lot of girls that worked at 4x4. I would definitely visit this place when in Centro.

***Termas Aeroporto***

Address:- 216-C Beira Mar Av. Centro. (can get there easily from Cinelandia station)
Website:- http://www.termasaeroporto.com.br/
Hours:- 2pm-12am M-F (up to 30 girls, Girls are more or less all there by 5pm.).
Break down of Prices:-
R50, Entrance.
R200, Room hire 40 minutes + girl
R250 in total plus drinks if you session for a girl for 40 minutes.

I finally visited this place in early 2005. I had tried a few times before but it was closed for renovations. Quality of the rooms is great with small wash basins. The boite is tiny, the size of a lounge room, maybe only 30 girls and by far the smallest of all major termas. If you are over 6 foot tall, as I am, you have to watch you head in the boite.

If they don't know you they will ask you to pay R50 for your entrance on the way in. The rest is paid on the way out. Located about 1500 yards away from Terma Rio Antigo and named after the local airport which is less than a mile away and one hell of a hairy landing. Hence, could be a good spot to "grab something to eat" on a layover.

Like Centaurus, they assign a girl to you when you enter the locker room. The girl will help you with your clothes etc, but is primarily there to attach herself to you. Assigned girls are never good, the best girls are up in the boite, which is upstairs, hence I try to politely ditch her and hang my own clothes up.

This place has the distinction of the weirdest suite location. One time the love of my life (or at least for the next 60 minutes) led me inside the mens locker room, which I thought was strange. She opened a further door inside the locker room which in turn opened up to a nice suite. In Brasil nothing surprises me anymore.

I find this area really dodgy when coming home at night. Even though it is only a mile from Rio Antigo, there are many little parks where the homeless hang. Best to get a cab from the door and not walk to the metro on your way back. During daylight hours I find it safe with heaps of people around.

Of all the major termas I would probably visit this place last, primarily because it is so small and the choice of girls limited.

***Termas 502***

Address:- Rua de Alfandega, 65, Centro
Hours:- 2pm-12+am M-F (up to 40 girls, Girls are more or less all there by 5pm.).
Break down of Prices:-
R10, Entrance. Which includes 2 local drinks (National), is waived if you do a girl.
R77, Room hire 40 minutes + girl
R77 in total, plus drinks if you session for a girl for 40 minutes.

This place is a bit different. You do not change into a robe. Upon entry the receptionist gives you a plastic card where your drinks are recorded by a swipe, they don't speak English here, just nod your head and grab the card. Entrance is R10 and this includes 2 local drinks. I used to go to this place only to grab a water, relax, look around pay my R10 and then head over to 4x4 or Terma65 which are within a block or 2. Now I know a couple of girls there and there are a few real cuties, there is one 9.9 that I see occasionally. The price for 35minutes is R77. That is not a misprint and they even wave your R10 entrance. May well be the best deal in town. An hour was around R112 from memory. My R77 room had a shower and was as good as any of the other Termas. All the prices are marked on the wall to the left of the reception. Why do some girls work here when they could work at the bigger and more expensive places? Because the expensive places will sack girls very quickly if they don't turn up to shifts or are late. My 9.9 used to work at Monte Carlo but didn't like the strict hours and no off days policy, hence she takes less money at 502 but is happier. This place is more flexible with the girls hours hence the girls like the relaxed pace.

One point, check your bill closely on the way out, they tried to pad me a few drinks last time, I would like to think it was a mistake but in Brasil one should always get into the habit of checking the bill thoroughly.

***Terma MV 30***.

Address:- Rua Mayrink Veiga, 30, Centro Tel: 2233-6865
Hours:- Would assume M-F Only, up to midnight.
Break down of Prices:-
R**, Entrance.
R**, Room hire 40 minutes + girl
R140 in total, plus drinks if you session for a girl for 40 minutes.

Went here once, early, didn't find anything I liked and the facilities were a below average. I initially didn't think enough of it to include it in this report, however I have read a few half promising reports over the year, hence it may be worth a try. A second tier terma that is frequented by Brasilians.


***Cheap and Nasty***

If you are feeling adventurous you may wish to check out the following well known "cheapies" on the way to the 4x4, T502 or T65. They are all very easy to find and you can just wander into and have a look around, none have cover charges, you can buy a coke or beer for R2-R3. Some have little stages, some just have women hanging around. You can negotiate anal etc for a little more, or if it is a slow day try to get it thrown in for free. CBJ's is standard, due to the sanitary conditions this may be the preferred option. The places are best viewed early afternoon to early evening. They generally close earlier than the big Termas.

Rua Uruguaiana 24: This place has a narrow entrance and you go up some dodgy stairs and stop in at each floor to have a quick look. About 4 floors from memory. You can find an occasional cutey amongst the less than cute girls. 20mins approx R25. Some places you have to negotiate, but if they try and charge more than R2 per minute, you are being fucked.

Buenos Aires 113: This place has a long narrow walkway leading up to one medium sized floor. I briefly chatted to "O gordo"(the fat) security guard who said there is only one floor, all upstairs is cabines(rooms). Some of the girls were topless. One was very cute. Most looked youngish 18-22. On the corner of Uruguaiana & Buenos Aires, virtually next to the metro stop (Uruguaiana). 20mins approx R25.

James Howard sent me the above correction on 113. James Howard says;

"Actually it has three levels. After going through the maze entrance and up the flight of stairs, you are on level one. In fact, if you go back to the staircase and go up, there is another level, and then another. No difference in quality or prices, but for only R10, can't hurt to take a look. Every now and then something nice to be found. And if not, Skol is only R2." James Howard.

When I went there, I asked the security guy if there were more boites upstairs, he says "no just cabines" Hmmmm.

This reminded me of when I was 18 and in Amsterdam. We asked the doorman outside how much entrance was and how much beers were. He says "G5 for entrance and G1 for a beer". Cool, we go in, order 4 beers and are presented with a bill of G12 each. We say "the doorman outside said beers are only G1 each". The bar mans response "don't worry about him, he is paid to lie, that will be G12 each please"

James sent me a further correction:
James says

Regarding that info about 113 Buenos Aires, perhaps I should be more clear. After going back a few more times, I found out that there is only one official floor for the girls, that being the first. However, during the busier hours around lunch time (this is when I go, because I work in Centro), girls take clients up to the second or third floor cabines. After finishing up the programmas there, they don't bother going back down to floor one for customers, they just wait on 2 and 3 for clients to come up. So, officially, there is only one floor, but the 2nd and 3rd are very often used (I've found girls up there several times, mostly because I'm looking for my "regular").
Ok James!

Buenos Aires 85: This place has the narrowest stairway in all of Rio. 2 people cannot pass while on it. Having said this there are 4 or so level of clubs. About 100 yards down from 113, towards 4x4. 20mins approx R25.

Other:
Praia Club 400:

Avenida do Pepe, 400. Barra Da Tijuca.

This place girls are cheap but drinks expensive, a R25 cab ride from Copa. Opens about 6pm, and closes late. Not open on the weekend. Entrance R40 (waived if you get there by 8pm and take a girl), girls + room R170 (for cash do not pay by cc). Some nights they have swingers night, hence best to check when the terma action is. The best nights to go is Wednesday or Thursday, we went a Friday and a Monday and both sucked.

Barra Da Tijuca is a nice change for a break. It is a very middle class, crime free area about 30minutes ride south of Rio. The drive down the coast road is quite spectacular as is the view to Rocinha, Rios biggest favela (slum) on the way, lock the door when passing through! Up to 40 girls were there on the 2 occasions I visited, some were very nice as well. Predominantly locals visit this place but surprising the girls were nice and slim. To session with the girls was nice and cheap R150 for girl and cabine if paid in cash, but look at the price of the drinks carefully, a red bull and vodka R$30, some other drinks were reasonably priced like local capirinha's $R8, all are clearly marked on the menu. One more thing, do not pay for any of your bill by credit card, they slug you hard, 30% on top of your bill! In summary pay everything in cash, drink local drinks and it works out slightly less than Zona Sul termas even with cab fair if you can find a fellow amigo to split with. They have a locker facility to put any bags etc in upon entrance if required, it is located behind the reception. If travelling down to Barra and coming back at night take your passport with you, the Police sometimes set up roadblocks on the way back into town, if you don't have ID they may try to get a bribe out of you (not pleasant).

There are heaps more Termas in Rio. This is just a list of the more popular ones. I find the termas the safest, best quality sex and most fun of all the sex options in Rio. They don't pad the bill and the staff are usually just great. They are an institution!

A Tip: Always check your bill thoroughly. Sometimes I have items on my bill that I did not order, they were taken off without problem. Sometimes I had items that I had but did not get billed for. I think it is more a matter of errors rather than anything untoward. Always a good tip to check your bill thoroughly in South America, some places will try it on, others are simply inefficient.

[Bubba Boy]

The Bubba report, updated January, 2006 - Part 1/12 (1 of 12) - Intro

Rio De Janeiro: Brasil

This is a report, a guide and a collection of posts, not only just mine, that I found helpful or interesting. There are many contributors on the ISG that have an in depth knowledge of Brasil, I have attempted to incorporate some of their posts, a tiny portion, but posts I have felt are poignant. Some I have included because otherwise they would get buried. In short I wanted to create a resource where a first time visitor will be able to hit the ground running in Rio De Janeiro. I have also attempted to add some info that experienced mongers may find interesting.

A Note on prices: Inflation, while not out of control like it once was (think 1000% per year), is still quite high. It is currently running at just over 10%, hence if you read this report in 12 months the prices, in the local currency, is likely to be 10% higher.

A Note on ones own judgment: I personally think Nicole Kidman is a 6/10. However she often gets voted one of the most beautiful women in the world, hence many would rate her a 9/10. What does this have to do with mongering? Well it illustrates the point that different people have very different tastes. I currently love 4x4, other people may not. I may think a tall morena (brunette) with a nice small ass is just awesome, another man may think she is ordinary. It is all very individual. That is why I qualify my statements with IMHO (In my humble opinion).

An excellent resource for general facts about Rio is here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rio_de_Janeiro

[Admin]

Greetings everyone,

Bubba Boy sent me his 2006 Brazil Guide to post in the Forum.

I'll be the first to say "Great Report".

Thanks,

Jackson