Rio de Janeiro Reports

[Bravo]

I'd love to see a poll in the Rio section. How many of us have been with Ingrid of L'Uomo?

I think every black man who has been to rio within the past 8 years has fucked Ingrid!! I was talking to a buddy about this just last week. We estimated that she has probably fucked close to 3-5000 guys!! think about that the next time you want to kiss her!!!! LOL

[Perkele]

I take the same flight on wednesday at I'm not looking forward to it.

I stopped using AF, because the flight attendants were extremely rude. When I used them I still were platinum member and they always treated me like a crap.

Now I prefer TAP, TAM or KLM, which goes from Sao Paulo.

Very unfortunate though for the passengers who were on board. They say that lightning killed the electrics... who knows.

[Koolkid]

Just read about the Air france flight from Rio to Paris that dissapeared. That is awful. Hope everyone on this board is safe. Kinda scary to think a plane went down so quickly it didn't even have time to radio a distress signal.

I take the same flight on wednesday at I'm not looking forward to it.

[Lancer520]

Just read about the Air france flight from Rio to Paris that dissapeared. That is awful. Hope everyone on this board is safe. Kinda scary to think a plane went down so quickly it didn't even have time to radio a distress signal.

[Junior]

I'd love to see a poll in the Rio section. How many of us have been with Ingrid of L'Uomo?

Been there done that - on numerous occasions.
She is a sweetheart.

Junior

[Country Counter]

I'd love to see a poll in the Rio section. How many of us have been with Ingrid of L'Uomo?

[Koolkid]

went to hooker beach and chilled for a while then made my way over to mp and it was the
busiest i've seen it since i have been here. lots of new faces. got some numbers off afew girls.
i love the way the favela chicks loiter outside but never sit down inside. this chick with
huge tits and i mean huge, walks to the toilet so i descretely follow her and pretend to wash
my hands to give her a better look. she comes out and i ask her how much for 2 hours and she says 400, i say 200 so drops to 350 and i stick at 200. she says ok, but i notice that her eyes are rolling abit and i'm thinking she could be trouble.

i ask if she is completa and she then says i will not answer that, lets just see what happens? ummm more trouble!
anyway i take a gamble as she quite pretty, morena. get back to the apartment and she showers. i go to kiss her
and she says no! so i make her a vodka and she relaxes abit, and it was like the tiger in her was un-leashed, but
then she goes for the condom, and i say what no blow job? she starts harping on about the amount of girls mouths that have been around my dick? so i say ok, i'll give you 50 reals and you can get dressed. she gives in very easily, and gives a not bad deep throat session! the fuck session was long and hot with multiple pit stops for vodka. she took it well and those tits bounced everywhere. name francilene.

later i wanted to go to helpee again, so i decided hang out at ta first. as soon as i sat down i was mobbed by
various women saying buy me a chopp baby! this cute morena called rosy came and sat next to me. i really wanted
to have more of a look around but we got chatting and their was a good vibe.
we ended up talking for over an hour and then the underwear sales lady turns up so i buy her a g string
and headed back to mine. she turns out to be very keen, and asks where the camera is! she puts on her new underwear and lets me snap away. i will post them when i return home. she loved to pose, and i got some good
video of her giving head, which she does well. great sex with a cum on tounge. we exchanged numbers and i think i will see this one again.

[Acenva]

Carol is at Duda Massagems #3320 in that Rio Branco building. I've sessioned with her before.

The other casa at #2114 is Belprazer, I believe.

She is worth a repeat, everytime it gets better and better. If she get's to know you well she will possibly meet you on the weekend off. As the saying goes YMMV

Good luck

[Pana Nyc]

Thanks for the quick reply. Fuck it I just did both Monte Carlo and Sorlarium, I did MC 1st and I hit one garota there after her I was in mood to hit something new so I went over to Solarium and than when I arrived there I seen more garotas I can count on both of my hands that I can hit. I had a great session with blonde in Solarium gave up all holes (she will be coming back to the aparmtent to continue where we left off) damn I love Rio after doing Colombia the last couple now I know why I missed this place so much. Brasiliera GDP's give the best service on earth when it comes to working girls!!!

Just back from a week trip. Report to come. Tastes vary of course, but I thought Solarium was the best non-Centro terma on this trip -- good selection of girls, relaxed vibe. I may have caught L'uomo on a bad night. I think it can vary day to day. But we hit Solarium 2x and it was great both times. Monty was OK (I still like the facilities) and L'uomo was meh.

[Azn Safado]

I don"t know when or where, but damn ........I know I have banged that garota in the past.

Carol is at Duda Massagems #3320 in that Rio Branco building. I've sessioned with her before.

The other casa at #2114 is Belprazer, I believe.

[Acenva]

I will try to help with is question. I believe the establishment Ace and KK are talking about is a casa de massagem located on Rio Branco in Centro. The address is Rio Branco 185 Apartment #2114. The easiest and fastest way to reach it is by taking the metro and getting off at Carioca. Then take the exit for Rio Brancho. As you walk out the the metro station make a right. Next, crossover to the other side of Rio Branco and look for #185. Once you are in the building, you will following a spiral staircase down to the basement of the building where you will need to get in the elevator that takes you all the way up to the 20th floor. Once you reach the 20th floor, make a left and go up a flight of stair you see and then make 2 more right turns and you are there.

An advice from a newbie, if you are bad with porto like me, make sure you take a pen and paper with you and write down the name of the girl you like to session with.

DD

It is #3320 get off the metro at carioca go to Edificial building take the middle set of elevators... good luck..

[Mangera]

KoolKid

I hope that was Dunda's place you went up 2 different elevators... It brings back great memories... A spot I visit evey time in Rio.. Here is one off my favorites there. Carol I have posted some pictures of her before. Many times I have been there and went over the 1 hour if they are not busy. I will be there in 26 days and counting..

Ace

I don"t know when or where, but damn ........I know I have banged that garota in the past.

[Koolkid]

KoolKid

I hope that was Dunda's place you went up 2 different elevators... It brings back great memories... A spot I visit evey time in Rio.. Here is one off my favorites there. Carol I have posted some pictures of her before. Many times I have been there and went over the 1 hour if they are not busy. I will be there in 26 days and counting..

Ace

No I only went up 1 evelators to this terma.

[Eric Cartman]

the cartman report – 2009 (cont’d)

eric cartman, aka the rear admiral, back with the daily details of the trip (as outlined in the cartman report 2009 - part i). onto the fucking ....

sunday 17 may
kayla at monte carlo – big bunda, tan carioca. 28. told her i thought she was 56 when she asked ☺ churro man went with pietra, a tall long lean black girl. made her hold out her hand to receive the seed. see below – i tagged pietra later.

porcao for dinner (flamingo)

then l’uomo for ~304r: 15 for red bull, 15 for vodka, 210 for 40 mins, 60 entry, some other stuff. nikki was my tall muscled black girl (huge 3 inch heels) – cesarean scar and boobie scars both sadly not visible until in the room – tongue stud, danced great. made her hold out hand to receive the seed. this is the point where i decided to start asking every girl, when talking to them in the boite, if they had children. a lot would say no, and i’d ask to see if any scars. others would say yes but “natural” and show me no scar. i didn’t find out a good way to check for boobie scars other than just pulling their tops down ☺

churro man went with giovanni. no bunda. his words: “small room, hard to operate in”

monday 18 may
hit up 4x4 around 4pm. first trip for cm and our 3rd amigo. rode the metro from copa to uruguaiana and walked. super easy. lots of police on the street at the market at uruguaiana. stopped for a suco at the same suco bar on rua buenos aires on the way to 4x4 where bubba boy took me 4 years ago. fun times. melancia for the win!

churro man picked off a small, thin 19 year-old blonde i spotted, named [CodeWord901]. seriously, that was her name. a knowingly ironic choice on her part of a stripper name? who knows.

i kept holding out and saw lorrayne – blonde, tan, long hair (braids, pigtails), anaconda tattoo on leg, panther (pantera) lower back, dragon (“dra-gon”) on upper back. she was talking to some really old fat dude for a while. i kept staring at her and smiling, and she saw it. she came over as soon as she was done with him. i joked and asked if she liked “viejos” – she said it was just a friend. yeah, right. whatever. up to the suite for 1 hour. starts off in doggie anal, mish anal, then cowgirl / squat with cooch. lots of cuddling. told me she’d meet me back in the boite. waited there for her for a while, finally see find dancing on the spinner and pole, wont come sit with me, so we eject.
200/hr. 2nd level room (small suite with shower) … 40r entrance.

by the way, apparently (according to bubba) there is a 2nd “vip boite” up the stairs from the first main one, towards the back of the building. you can bring your girl up there. i didn’t know this. also i didn’t initially know where the hot showers are in the sauna room. the only ones you can see are 100% cold water. the hot ones are through the first door closest to the cold ones – it’s hard to see through the window, but there are 4 hot shower stalls in a small room.

lastly, there is a 2nd changing room at 4x4 that they pretty much never give keys to – apparently they like jamming everyone into the tiny first one. which is not much fun when you’re sharing it with some large-sized men. churro man asked if they had anywhere else, and they gave him a key to another big room that had nobody in it. so ask for comfort!

dinner at garota de ipanema, then off to solarium. priscilla was super high-energy dancing, then ends up stripping just for me. tells me to wait while she goes to change, comes back into the boite wearing a sexy red dress – dj puts on special music, and she does a whole strip show for 10 mins, pushing away other guys, kissing me, stripping to naked. of course we go up to the cabine after that: 1 hour, 2 pops. saw her a few days later wearing a schoolgirl dress and white schoolgirl top. had straight blonde hair the second time (curly on the first time). i think she has a pegasus tattoo on her back (e.g., a winged horse but with no horn, not a unicorn). not super fit but really really sexy and fun.

churro man – went with thin, reddish-auburn hair ariel. braces. blue bikini. “trifecta” (all 3 holes) 40 minutes. made sure of 2 pops. didn’t think it would happen but she pulled it off (so to speak).

tuesday 19 may
i spent all tuesday and weds with a brazilian porn star who i pre-arranged for an all-day fee of 500r per day, plus her airfare down from sao paulo. it was an ok experience, started great but kind of fizzled out on day 2. i’m not posting any details about it since she specifically asked me not to.

meanwhile, on tuesday, cm goes to help and pulls a thin, small-breasted model type named clara. 400r for tln. pulled at 1.15pm. cm first saw her talking to some other guy for a long time. apparently the other guy tried to negotiate her down, and when he tried the walk-away tactic, cm went in for the kill. banged her 2x in night and once in am. all caught on tape. going rate at help appears 400r – other friend got offered 2hrs only for 400r. number of girls before 1pm appeared to be pathetic. maybe only 30% were whackable. started to get busy after 1.30am. outside there were a few hotties mixed in.

weds 20th may
cm at l'uomo named lorena– 25 y.o. brunette – 40 mins – phone rang halfway through 2nd pop and wouldn’t let him finish. angry churro man.

thursday 21st may
started off with a trip by boat (barca) to niteroi. took a taxi to praca 15 (xv) in centro – could have taken metro and walked from uruguaiana, but were pressed for time / lazy. 2.50r for a one-way ferry ticket. great views of the bay and scenery (christo, pao de acucar) on the ride. full of commuters. walking off the ferry in the crush of commuters, i am looking around when i step squarely with my left foot into a 2-foot gap between the ferry ramp and the dock. scraped the shit out of my shin and ankle. much pain and bleeding. not fun times. always watch where you are going.

took a taxi to the famed museu de arte contemporânea in niteroi, designed by brazilian starchitect oscar niemeyer. nice building, wish it had been larger with a better collection. did a “museum walk” they show you (via brochure) to 2 other nearby niteroi museums, including one in an old palace and one in an old private “plantation house” with great architecture. for both of these, there was no entrance fee – they only asked you to sign in. which we did as “irwin m. fletcher” and “jack mehoffer.” fun times. walked back along the niteroi waterfront to the ferry, had time for a few street churros and a coco.

disembarked and walked straight across from praca 15 into centro. short stroll (thanks google maps!) to find terma cancun. good vibe in the boite – but about 70% big-bunda centro chicks, and 30% magras. 2 super-fit, smoking black girls – wesley snipes black. nubia and pathy. also saw a gorgeous thin blonde girl (see luana below) and a pretty, thin dark-haired girl wearing a garter. the garter-girl is named lillith (pronounced lil-itch) and speaks good english – apparently she lived in nyc and atlanta with her father before returning to rio to fuck strangers. i would have banged her but i had my hands full. started making out with nubia and watching her shake her fine black ass in front of me. up to the room for 1 hr. churro man took pathy, also a fine ass-shaker. there was a brazilian guitar & drum duo playing on the stage in the boite. fun times.

off to porcao flamengo for dinner. then over to rio antigo at 10.55pm. thought it was open until 2am, but only midnight. extremely limited selection of girls and no other guys in the boite. churro man takes the 1 semi-hot one. i blow off the ugly friend, feel up another chick – smiling, friendly, sexy but large – while enjoying a caipirinha. 150 usd – offering 2:1 reais for dollars – 60 entrance, 180 for 40 mins. opens at 2pm, gets busy at 5pm, cleared out by 11pm. always fun to drive or walk past the main road in front, which is full of transsexuals. “meat and two veg,” as austin powers would say.

i actually avoided going back to rio antigo because i didn’t want to deal with the girl i had been feeling up while churro man got up to his goodness. but i really think this place deserves more visits. check it out boys and report back.

churro man – paola. 40 mins. trifecta. 1 shot.

friday 22nd may
headed down to 4x4 around 5pm. way too crowded, a real sausage fest – lots of us older guys (50+, boasting a lot in the changing room, trying to act all cool in the boite). more of the annoying new trend i’ve seen of guys stripping their robe to the waist in the boite. whatever. standing room only – kissed hello to lorrayne from day 2, as she walked past …. too many guys, and not a great selection of girls basically doing the terma equivalent of strip-club chain-dances … had to hit eject and head instead over to cancun.

immediately say hello to nubia while churro man sits with pathy … get nubia almost immediately to intro me to the blonde girl from night before, luana. luana introduces me to her friend lillith. luana tastes like candy when i kiss her. likes drinking smirnoff ices. nubia reintroduces my face to her fine black booty-shaking ass. i really just want to whack luana but i feel bad for dissing nubia, so i take them both for an hour while churro man tags pathy and some other white chick named alana.

in the room, i tell n & l that i want to watch them. they start making out with each other – nubia eats out luana while luana makes eyes at me. i start messing around with luana. 200 per girl (each) for 1 hour in the room. … luana doggie, than brief mish, then she rides me reverse cowgirl, cowgirl, squatting cowgirl … all while nubia makes out with me. she goes back to a pounding squatting cowgirl and i blow inside her.

clean off, tell them to kiss each other, then nubia licks her some more while luana looks at me. firmed up, take nubia doggie while luana lays back and diddles herself looking at me. switch to cowgirl, squatting cowgirl, take off condom, finish myself off while nubia kisses me (making me finger her) and luana licks my balls. fun times.

head back down to the boite where we sit with the girls and roam hands all over them. churro man, who has been somewhat lusting after luana the whole time, suggests we swap – that i take pathy and he whacks luana. we make this plan and tell the girls that we are going to go get something to eat, and come back in 2 hours to see them.

dinner 2 blocks away in centro on the main plaza at r. primeiro de marco, tons of brazilians out after work on friday night, brazilian pizza with catipury (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/catupiry) cheese and carne seco, some other good stuff (chicken with bacon = stew). takes about an hour then back to cancun, sit in boite for an hour, take girls at 11.30 – i take pathy, gets herself off, sucks me, eye contact, 2 positions, nothing left, finish all over her from above, she starts fingering herself – 2, 3, 4 fingers, stands above me banging her box, then i give her dedos magicos, then massage, cuddling, ends at 12.30 at closing and we’re among the last to leave.

luana later tells me that pathy didn’t think we were actually going to come back. the expression on the receptionists (especially the cranky one) was priceless when we came back in. i think they thought we were going to complain or say we lost something ☺

50 r entrance, 200 per girl … don’t seem to charge for drinks? 454 for the twosome.
offering 1.7 reais for 1 usd, horrible exchange rate. every other terma seemed to be 2:1. welcome to the us peso.

saturday 23rd may
solarium @ 5pm …. i tagged a long, lean, tan model type that looked like penelope cruz. she told me she was from minas gervais and was studying/working as a pharmacist during the day – even telling me what to put on my leg and what our other friend should take for his cold. 1 hr. in a suite. very sensual and clean. 2 shots, one her riding me, 2nd from bj/hj. gave me her email after, which i may have gotten wrong when i emailed her later that night.

churro man – brunette, tanlined, named chris – wider face, caught him filming and had to tip her to keep it on the dl. trifecta.

dinner at guia guia, a restaurant chain (upscale) that was part of rio restaurant week. we went to the one in jardim botanico near solarium. lots of well-to-do rio folks there including 2 girls who were made up to the 9s – juicy couture bag, fancy shoes, huge tits … at the table next to us. looked stunning. i’m amazed they can walk around like that without being jacked. walked out to the lagoa nearby to catch a taxi and the path was full of people walking / biking even at 9pm. favelas looked pretty on the mountains lit up at night. passed mr. lam (“senior cordero” lol) which is a swank looking chinese restaurant (http://www.mrlam.com.br/).

then off to monte carlo after a pit-stop for shower etc. at apartment. got there a little before 11, maybe 10.55. they told us they close at midnight on sat/sun. we went forth anyway. not much talent in the boite – included 2 huge-hipped, pretty hefty girls who wouldn’t have been out of place in racine, wi. not what i wanted to see. waited and waited – finally a smaller, tight bodied, asian looking chick comes in. i grab her and do some small talk before passing her to churro man.

sayuri, huge tattoo on her upper back “jonathan love forever” in english. apparently jonathan is her 3 year old son. she’s 22. you do the math. churro man only had time for 40 mins. 2 of 3 holes only, no bunda that night. she’s been rooted so much that day she had a sore on her lower back from being pushed into the bed. told cm she works at help. asked her rate, 400. tells about her half-sister who used to work there but now has an italian boyfriend. asks for costs for both – 600. volume discount!

with time running out on the clock, i grab a girl who had been sitting next to me with a huge dragon tattoo down her entire back winding over her shoulder and down to her leg. she’d been sitting with some brazilian dude and he headed out and i said “elle vai emborra?” and when she said yes, i’m all “hola. vamos!”

turns out she had pretty nasty fresh scars taped over under her tits. made me realize i’d just have her blow me and i’d do her doggy. great eye contact in the bj. banged her doggy gripping her back and feeling the scales of the dragon on the tattoo. first girl for me who took a shot in the mouth. tells me she has a 3 year-old son whose name is enzo, which – look – is tattooed in huge letters on the bottom of her forearm. named for enzo ferrari. says she knows only 2 people in rio who own ferraris, as they cost 1 million r.

sunday 24th may
initially the plan was to hit up karla’s models for a 10 girl festa around 4pm. i started calling karla’s around noon, and couldn’t get an answer. same for scortshow. took about 30 minutes to finally figure out that neither is open on sunday. neither is open on sunday! wtf!!!! new plan …..

made plans to meet up with some previous girls. cm texted his mc chick to set them up for 11pm. i texted luana to set her up. she responded back pretty quick and in my broken, misspelled porto i managed to get her to agree to come over for 3 hours at 10.30pm for 400r. that was ok i didn’t really want her there tln (easier to sleep alone). set 10.30pm target time, knowing she’d be late.

hit mc around 4.45pm – i got chave no. 1 (numero un). bare boite, very few girls, some of the fat chicks from the other night. not good. 2 african-american dudes are at the bar, one is feeling up some chick in a leopard outfit. pietra walks in and i nod, she comes over and i ask her if she remembers my friend from earlier in the week – she lies and says yes. cm enters and walks up and pulls her name pietra out of his ass – strong work. i buy her a drink, do a little touchy-touchy, and am ready to pull the trigger when leopard girl comes up. she speaks in porto to pietra and p tells me that the african american dude wants both of them for a festa. i’m like, wtf i just bought you a drink *****?? but off she goes, telling me to wait. i wait it out, nobody else whackable really comes in, my dragon girl comes back in, sit with her a bit. finally pietra comes back out, a few mins after the african american dude has returned to the bar. she sits with me, prompting a laughing shout from him of “i thought you loved me baby.” i reply “somente para uma hora.” turn to her and say “vamos” – she tells me to wait until she can finish a cigarette, lol.

upstairs great bj, i finger her culo while she blows me, and tell her i want to start in culo. she says she doesn’t do that. i say, “hey my friend told me you did it with him last week and he doesn’t lie.” she continues to protest. i say in broken porto “listen, i waited an hour for you.” so she agrees. straight to the a doggie, then mish anal with her legs on my shoulders. in between the two anal positions, she goes for the gusto with an unrequested atm as she sucks me (condom on) for a few minutes – no more tongue kisses for her in this session! changed condom, she rides me hard in cowgirl, squat cowgirl, and leaning-back hip-shaking cowgirl. finish on her tits. top 3 of the trip.

cm got a real massage – 30mins for 60r – was ok – used a lot of oil.
middle aged unattractive female masseuse.

back to the apartment for a shower up and then dinner at garota de ipanema. sayuri & jennifer (half sisters, same dad) show up for churro man at 11.40pm. dancing in the apartment. trifecta with sayuri, jennifer only gets 2 holes. pop 1 started on j and finished on both mouths. round 2 was s. showered together. whacked em both in the am (no trifecta). used a butt-plug on sayuri.

luana texts me around 9pm and says she’ll be late – is 11pm ok? i’m like, lol, knew it. she shows up around 11.10. kind of playing shy at first, doesn’t even let us take pictures of her clothed. cm insists and gets some nice candids and video of her making out with me. into the bedroom – she’s drinking vodka, i’ve got some beer. break out the toys – vibrator and pocket rocket. she goes to town on herself with them and has an orgasm while i watch. points at herself and says “un.” we cuddle, i use the dedos magicos on her while she applies the pocket rocket, and she gets “deus.” i tell her i need one now. great cowgirl on the reclining lounge chair in the room. lots of cuddling and talking after. she goes for #3, using both toys with the vibe shoved so far up her kitty that you can only see the speed-dial on the end sticking out. out on the deck for a smoke and cuddle and chat with cm and his 2 girls. back in the room for #2 for me, and #4 for her. then i get #3. for the record, my second and third orgazmos were direct shots into her open mouth as she looked up at me. she pauses and says “4 to 3 – i win!” in portuguese, with a big smile. fine fine work.

she leaves at 2.45am or so, not a clockwatcher. didn’t ask for cab money. did ask me if i smoked mj and i said no. texts me at 3.47am saying she got home and came using one of the toys (i told her to take one, and initially she wanted the pocket rocket but finally chose the vibe for being stronger). quality time had by all. my only video of the trip was of her #3 orgasm, captured by setting my camera onto movie mode and propping it up on the desk in my room. pretty good watching her legs twitch when she comes.

monday 25th may
lunch with bubba boy at frontera in ipanema. planned to call karla’s models at noon to set up a 3pm. bubba advised against it, saying pre-planning in rio was useless and just to call maybe an hour before we want them and tell them to send them over now.

called karla’s around 2.15pm. lowered the request to 4 girls, since churro man was beat from his morning session with his tln’s from sunday, and our 3rd amigo decided seeing christo was more important than a festa. whatever.

first receptionist i got didn’t speak english so i tried to tell her in broken porto we wanted 4 girls, all thin (magras) and variety of types (loiras, ruevas, morenas). gave her the street address and apartment address but she couldn’t understand me, so put an english speaker on whom i had to repeat everything to.

went down and tipped each of the 2 doormen 20r and told them we had 4 girls coming and to let them up. girls show up together in one taxi.

renata (hotter brunette)
jamilla (blonde)
julia (indian mix)
4th – curly haired carioca, bad teeth but nice eyes and tight little brown body.

renata and jamilla were fairly cute, and the other 2 were designated ball-lickers, although the curly-haired girl turned out to be a devilish little fuck. they all showed up at once, gave them some shitty drinks ( vodka, beer) to mellow things out while we planned our attack. i took the 2 brunettes first, cm took the blonde and indian girl. broke out the toys and told the girls i had presents for them – vibrator, pocket rocket, butt plug. they seemed to be pretty happy and went down on each other, using the toys etc. i started playing with their butts when they were bent over in doggie and then lubed up the plug and stuck it in both of them – one after the other. renata got it first while the other girl used the vibrator on her, then switched. blew inside curly hair with her riding me.

girls go outside to smoke cigarettes on the deck, with 45 mins still on the clock in the 2 hour session. so i find cm, who thinks we’re done (silly, silly churro man!), and tell him we need to pull the ole’ switcheroo. he agrees, so out i go on the deck and start feeling up his 2 girls. he switches to feeling up mine. meanwhile, we realize the whole scene (girls in towels, smoking, rubbing) is being filmed by two guys from an apartment across the street on their balcony. we all laugh and wave at them and head inside for round 2. which is fabulous. churro man has now fucked 6 girls in a spread of about 7 hours from 10am – 5pm. he almost pulled off the round of golf – 18 holes!! (mouth, kitty, culo on 6 girls)!!! he did anally destroy curly hair, which is fabulous.

total cost – 120r per girl, plus 50r for taxi (for group) – they demanded the taxi fare … i’m sure they pocketed it but we wanted them gone because the apartment owner was coming at 5pm to case the place and return our deposit. so the girls were there from 3.15-4.50pm and did yeoman work.

then a quick packing session, a quick cuban cigar on the deck washed down with a brahma malzbier, and off to the airport for the flight home.

this concludes the may 2009 edition of the rear admiral & churro man in rio.

here endeth "the cartman report - 2009"

[Eric Cartman]

Hi team! Eric Cartman, aka The Rear Admiral, here. Just came back from a return trip to Rio with my compatriot Churro Man. Previous adventures (2005, 2004) were chronicled in these fine reports: http://www.internationalsexguide.inf...408#post399408

Should point out that Churro Man – while attempting to maintain his Churro-consuming quota – also became known as El Director on this trip. Basically he filmed every girl he banged, either using his hand-held Sony camera (including setting it up in cabines) or an in-room camera attached to his laptop in the apartment. 70% of the time the girls didn’t know this was going on. Footage was amazing, leading to many next-day conversations that began with the phrase, “Roll tape!” Fun times.

By the way, Rio street churros remain magically delicious. Imagine a freshly fried tube of sweet dough, frosted with cinnamon sugar, and then filled to the brim with either dulche de leche carmel or chocolate. Amazing! Note to the wise – I believe they are pronounced “Shurro” and not “Churro.” Damn carioca accent!

SUMMARY
This trip ran 8 days in Rio, from 17th – 25th May. Temperature was 70-90 each day, slightly cooler at night, sunny nearly the whole time. Bringing long pants (jeans) proved a waste. We went to even nice restaurants wearing shorts & flip-flops (e.g., Porcao). Money talks.

Overall impressions: prices are up, quality is down in the termas.
• Centro termas offer the best mix of both but you have to be choosy. 4x4 is way too busy for my taste.
• Prices seem up all across Rio / Brazil … inflation seems to be ticking away (I guess it has to, given the country has been continually offering 15%-20% interest rates). The decline of the US Peso hasn’t helped either.
• What used to run $70USD at L'uomo for 40 mins and entrance and a few drinks now is $150USD, with 1hr sessions and drinks breaking the $225USD mark.

The Statistics:
# of days/nights: 9/8
# of different girls: 16
# of times sexo: 16
# of times anal: 2 (12.5%)
Cartman’s most orgasms in single day: 4

Things that Continue to Annoy Me:
#1 - Good Terma girls still ask for reasonable drinks like Agua de Coco. The others tag you with Red Bull & Vodka or Red Bull & Whiskey for up to 36R – 50R. I told a few girls that was too expensive – one switched to Fanta & Vodka.

#2 – What is up with this new (to me anyway, since last trip in 2005) habit of guys in the boite basically taking off their robe to the waist. They stand there bare-chested, wearing the robe like a skirt. Couldn’t tell if it was only Brazilian guys doing this or some of the US team as well. Seriously, guys, we don’t need to see you bare-chested in the boite. Unless you have a really fine pair of bolt-ons ☺

#3 – Guys, please don’t wear sideways baseball caps or other accoutrements of the street cred in the boite. It just looks silly. We all wear the same robes and flip-flops to fit in. It’s an even, neutral ground. From the fattest 55 year-old to the fittest 20-something, everyone should be equal under the robe. It’s why Buddhist monks all dress the same.

LODGING
Rented a really modern 3bd., 2.5bth penthouse (11th floor) apartment (the entire floor) on Rua Santa Clara about ½ block from the Copacabana beach. Apartment was found here: http://www.belavista-rio.com/site/ri..._apartment/101
$600R per night, plus mobile phone rental and airport pickup. Only complaints about the apartment were shitty internet (no wired internet, only 1 USB Claro cellular modem) and no central AC / AC in all rooms. Otherwise, a fantastic space and helpful owners.

PHARMACIA
Bought a lot of Vitamin C (Cialis) at Pacheco all along Nos. Sra. Copa, generally 189R for 8 pills. Also Vitamin V, and other medicaments like Azitrominica (the US “Z pack” of Azithromycin) antibiotic. Went through 2 3-day courses (500mg/day) in an effort to avoid getting the garota flu. Our third amigo didn’t pro-actively prevent, and came down with it in 2 days. Who knows it if works or is just luck of the draw.

SHOPPING
Rio Sul remains a great place to kill 1-2 hours just wandering around shops largely to check out the AMAZINGLY HOT female store clerks. Seriously. Crazy.

EATING
Highly recommend the Hortifruiti supermarket chain for fresh produce, nearly US quality. Bob’s burger chain appears to have gone upscale a bit since 2004 and now offers a fine Ovaltine Malt milkshake for 6R that is well worth it. Churro Man and 3rd Amigo hit Marius Carnes and said it wasn’t up to Porcao standards – other reviews and comments made Marius sound really expensive (esp. Seafood), up to 150R per person. I was in no rush to return.

Pretty much every day – Breakfast (11.30am – 1pm) at Big Nectar near Rua Santa Clara. Got table service on their little tables from our girl there, tipped her pretty big each time. We kept eating a ton. Grande Acais with granola, sucos, frango con salada on French bread sandwiches, pasties con carne or banana … Graviola juice (pretty good). Café puro e con leche, poured over ice. When I first asked for a cup of ice for the coffee, she gave me a plastic cup and the counterman had to correct her and give me an actual glass to pour the scalding hot coffee into. The Nectar remains my favorite Suco chain / bar until someone shows me a better one.

Dinners 2x at Porcao, with a long stroll outside between dinner and dessert. Porcao apparently owns the land down to the bay and lets you go out for a stroll with coffees or drinks. They no longer sell cigars. They have some benches and tables outside as well, and were serving guys out there who were smoking cigars. Classy place. 2nd visit we made friends with the leg-of-lamb server, Vandelay (as in Art Vandelay of Seinfeld fame) … told him I only wanted lamb, and he had like 4 types (leg, chops, tenderloin (lamb spine), and something else) brought over. He also kept shoveling it on my plate and laughing when I said “un poco.” Good times.

3x dinners and 1 lunch at the famous Garota De Ipanema on Rua Prudente de Morais. Love this place. Great vibe. Tasty Picana presented on a sizzling tray where it cooks at your table. The mixed grill is OK but not as good (beef steaks instead, chicken, pork sausage). You can ask them to swap out the uninspired French Fries for nice shopped fried potato pieces. Great waiter there named Erivaldo (waiters have their names on tables in their sections). Made sure to sit with him and tip well each time. He really took care of us. Remembered him from my last trip. He saw me smoking cigars and said he loved cigars, but is allergic to cigarettes and has to wear a patch there. I told him I’d bring him a Cuban cigar next time I came in. Which I did on the last night with CM. He went out of his way for us in service, and ultimately gave us 2 caipirinhas that he made himself on the house. Good guy. Last tip: the Hearts of Palm salad is 100% hearts of palm, no other veggies. They will make it with ½ tomatoes or other veggies if you ask. It’s good either way, but we learned to always get some tomatoes.

2 meals (dinner, lunch) at Esch café in Leblon. Cigar prices higher than Planeta Sonho on Nos. S. Cobacabana, food prices high and mediocre. Serious vibe. Kind of disappointed. Leblon much posher than Ipanema.

1 lunch at Frontera, a kilo in Ipanema right on the main street near Gen. Osario plaza and across cross-street from Big Nectar. Pretty good food, including what Bubba Boy said is the best churrascuria meat you’ll get at a kilo. Not particularly cheap – 60R for me with some helpings of meat, dessert, coffee, juices.

BEST TERMAS
See Bubba Boy’s guide for addresses and info. Also Google Maps is an amazing resource – dial up maps.google.com, enter something like “Termas Cancun, RJ – Brazil” and watch the magic unfold. Super easy.

#1 – Best Surprise – Terma Cancun in Centro. I am almost afraid to write this as I don’t want it invaded by the hordes of 50+ year-old dudes I saw talking like Big Men at 4x4, or the hordes of other types of Mongers who I (fully knowing the pot-kettle issue) I don’t think are good for the US image. That said, I feel a duty to the board to report good info. If you like a more relaxed, fun, atmosphere, good-sized boite, nice facilities & good-sized rooms, and an unrushed, uncrowded experience at 4x4 prices, go here. It’s 1.5 blocks from 4x4. Both are easily reachable via Metro to Uruguaiana (and the Metro already has been extended 1 stop further in Copa from Siquierie Campos, to Miguel Lemos, and is in the process of being extended in to Ipanema). Also easy to reach from Praca 15 (pronounced “pra-sa”), which is the ferry terminal for Niteroi. There are a bunch of nice outdoor bars / restaurants near Terma Cancun and the main street just past it (R. Primeiro de Marco), as well. I threw down a 500ml Bavarian hefeweizen (Paulaner) at once of them for 12R.

#2 – Best Improvement – Solarium had really improved its game this time, based on the crop of girls compared to my last visit in 2005. Facilities are the same and a bit run-down, prices are up like the Copa termas, but the girls made this a winner this trip. I like the boite here too, good space, plenty of seating, nice bar. The area around it in Jardim Botanico has some really nice restaurants too, and of course the Jardim Botanico which itself is worth a stroll.

#3 – Monte Carlo – I like the facilities here a lot, especially the shower room and boite (good layout, plenty of seating). The area around it at night seems to have gotten a bit better, didn’t feel quite as dangerous at midnight than on prev trips (but I might just be settling in). It was 3 blocks from our apartment and walkable easily. The cabines feel a bit bigger than L'uomo's, the boite is larger, and there’s not the horrible music L’uomo blares. I used to love L’uomo’s girls (esp Ingrid) but the selection on this trip didn’t seem much better to me than MC – though it probably varies by night and I only went once.

Needs Another Chance: Rio Antigo. I still really like this terma’s layout and facilities, including the bar-like boite. It’s early opening hours also are of interest. And it’s reasonably close to Copa (walkable from Gloria metro stop). We hit it at a bad time (1 hr before closing) on a Friday night. I wanted to go back at a different time and see how the crop of girls had developed. Pricing was in line with Centro and reasonable. These guys deserve a shot, so check it out if you can. Conveniently close to Porcao Flamengo by the way. Interestingly, the only terma we saw where the receptionists were men. The manager appeared to be a huge, short-haired, fat lesbian chick.

(see Part II for Details on the Daily Fucking)