Rio de Janeiro Reports

[UrbanCowboy22]

Went on a Monday night after they were closed the long holiday weekend in Brasil. Arrived after midnight, paid the 140 reai entrance, quickly showered and headed upstairs to the bar. About 25 girls working, surprisingly the A team wasn't working. Usually this place has loads of talent, sure it's expensive but depending on where you are staying, convenience & not having to go far to find a hottie can make it worth the price of admission. Disappointed in the lack of talent, made an early exit. Next time, I should go earlier, opens at 5pm. On Tuesday, went to Monte Carlo about 4:30pm, about 20 girls working. Some really cute ones. Two very hot blondes, would have jumped at the opportunity but some other guys beat me to it. If it was any of you guys reading this, damn you. Ha ha

[Jan 156]

I've been in love motels in Lapa that should need a extra large dose of viagra and a blunted sense of smell to do anything. Some are superbly disgusting, fit for little other than the unpleasant specimens living on the street near Praca Tiradentes; or the TVs the other side perhaps. Yet you have to go past respectable places to walk in so one hell of a walk of shame. Lapa is the only place I've looked at normal small hotels that have prominent anti-p4p 'family hotel' signs as you walk in. But unless it is really the jacuzzi you area after, the Ibis, a 100yds from Scenarium, is ideal (rent by the room, not by the number of people). Lapa does have access to the best and worst districts on its doorstep though, and PoucoLouco sounds like he knows more of them than I do, so maybe check out his leads first.

[Poucolouco]

By the way, anyone know a decent quality love motel somewhere near Lapa? I know there's been mention of one in Flamengo I think (Barao de?). Any others in that area? Please be good quality!

Quality is a subjective term. You'll can review these to see if they meet your standard. In Lapa there are several modest motels on Av Gomes Freire between Av Henrique Valadares and Rua Rio Branco (Shiek and Encontros are two of them.) There is the Andorinha on rua Rezende just off rua Mem de Sa. For better quality try Fluminense on the corner of Mem de Sa and Rua dos Invalidos. They have been remodelling and converting rooms to full daily rates but they still have rooms with hydromassage. Another option nearby is Snob hotel on the corner of Av Henrique Valadares and Rua Riachuelo. Also check out Diamond in Gloria, which has been converting to daily rates. They may still have a few half day rooms. Nearby in Gloria is the Love Time, another modest unit. I have patronized all of these, Fluminense more than the rest.

[Sherroid]

I'm on my iPhone so excuse the syntax. Background: In Rio with my boss 'sobre negocios' who speaks zero Port so I have to stay glued to him, and his friend. So we are strolling Copa beach in the car, they're first timers as well, and they want drinks and see some talent and no termas, houses, etc. Closest place, Balcony.

Now I have to be honest (Thanks Erectus) when I don't want to be. So here goes.

I RTFF extensively, guides, maps and knew what Balcony was about. The 1 thing that stuck with me that someone said was something to the tune of 'I avoid that place like the plague. ' True words for the uninitiated.

They're both serious non-mongers. They LOVED the place and continue to do so. In fact, after all that went on last night I'm being dragged back again! Work is a Bitc* right now.

So we go in and get a table under the tent with a front row seat. They're downing bottles of wine and not even drinkers. True Balcony fashion the GDPs post up in front of them, show their wares front & back, and they go NUTS. To their credit it wasn't because they were stars, it was because it was their first ever buffet. Mine too, but I read about it and I'm not an 'attention monger' like them. So they are very reserved and even push back the aggressive mongers. Until alcohol reared its head. They start letting chicks come over for interviews but they heeded my advice and didn't buy girls drinks. I am the translator in my 1% Port. Prices ranged from R$150- way up to R$600. I shit you not. Average request is R150-R200 for an hour, R300 for all night. Those prices are meaningless to one of them so I struggled all night holding him back.

So after a couple of hours they decide to session. BTW we got there about 10, maybe 25 GDPs that doubled later. Some real straight from the country skanks were in there intertwined with mostly 5s IMO, some 7s and 1 or 2 8s. To Balconys credit a definite 9 showed up with long blond hair, lithe body, super tight ass that was effin gorgeous. Yes I interviewed her & she was mean as hell with an attitude. She wanted R250, which for that beauty would have been a bargain to me, but I read Bubbas Guide. Question: are you good in bed. Answer in Port: Nao e importante, vc vai feliz. Strike one. Second question: do you do completa? Answer: she grabs my rod and says if it's not muito grande. Strike 3. Yes, I didn't need strike 2. Her attitude was indicative of the services to be rendered. Back to the night. After haggling and the always in your face madam walking around talking trash in broken English pushoffs selections have been made. One gets one for R100, and th other and I got 2 for R300. Good prices IMO for a first night session in Rio. But they were all 5s. Mine were too but they interviewed great.

We go back to the apartment and session. They both had a great session from start to finish. I didn't. My session went great at first. 2 on me sucking with no condom (I don't have the useful abbreviations handy) , multiple positions and contortions, sexo anal for both, and then 1 did the weirdest thing. She started licking my neck while I'm doggying her friend. Great right? Wrong. This was a type of lick a dog does to water, or maybe a fly to crap. It was just stupid and weird. I look at her like WTF and can tell she was flat out inexperienced / didn't care. I say stop. She does, she gets strike 1 but we continue. I get her on 4s and tell her to munch the other. They position and pretend. I see it, move her hair to see and tell her to do it for real. She fakes again and I leave it at that without a strike 2 because I really didn't care for it. We go for another 30 minutes (did I mention all our prices were for all night?) and I get tired and tell them to chupar. They commence and after 5 minutes I feel licking and look down and that same GDP is doing that stupid and weird licking. Man, I can't put into words how stupid that was. Strike 3. I get up ask her friend to stay and the other to leave. They comply. Insert truth: after entering my bedroom I dumbly told them that if they take care of me EXACTLY as I instruct I'd give them an extra R50. Each. I give the chic R30 cab fare and after she loudly talked on the phone & to her friend at 4am she leaves. Didn't take a taxi, the other didn't either. I go back and continue. Total GFE from her and finished great with a? Gozar? In the backdoor. She's a 5 but I love hardworkers and tell her I'm doing my own thing but will repeat.

Insert the BS that broke the straw. Like I said they loved the place and their sessions with GFE experience as reported to me. Next night they're giddy to go back. We go. Same thing again until a pretty dark 7 starts to request an interview with one of them. They bring me in to translate and she requests R250, comes down to R200, but the guy really didn't want her at all. They love the attention of being slobbered over for your diniero. She leaves. An hour later I'm pulled into about the 20th interview when it happens. They negotiate but can't seal the deal. The chick previously disregarded who's nearby overhears the negotiation and erupts. In broken madam-style English. Wassa fukkin prablom bebi! She starts talkin smack about what we paid last night and it was the same, R150. I'm like WTF? None of your effin business what he does, or any of us, with our $! We are arguing right in the walkway. Both in our own and foreign broken languages. It's not very heated or a big scene but words were exchanged. The chick I kept all night the night before was there and I lit into her. She's telling me she's sorry for putting me on the very real GDP Network. At this point it was a light exchange. Then she tells me and not her 'close' friend it turns out that I was arguing with to 'please don't say anything'. I got incensed. I mean, who and what I do or they do is not that GDPs biz so I don't have to STFU she does. She's pleading for me to be quiet while I'm doing just that and this mean Carioca is really getting loud talking trash. I snapped. Told her very nicely but forcefully to get out of my face. She did. Argument over but I'm fuming. And I still have to interview chicks. By now my boss is flat out toasted and gets mean with some of them who aggressively get in his face. This time I don't intervene I let him continue. In comes a solid and beautiful 8. 5. She stays to herself looking like a young angel and my boss spots her first. I agree she looks like an angel. After watching her for about 10 min he requests an interview, she didn't. R600. Laugh. While she's in his arms he tells me to translate back, tell this B she can take a hike. Mean I know but I'm fuming and ready to leave. She stays and negotiates down to R200 but not all night. He declines because he's too hammered. We leave. As we are walking to the rental car here comes my GDP who told everything. She's pleading and I don't give a F and keep walking. She continues to walk and a nice 6 passes us and my boss pounced. After negotiations she wants R200 for all night but no sex until in the morning (he's hammered). They agree but she says she has to leave before 7am. All agree. Except my boss likes my GDP and wants me to take her home too so we can 'all party. ' I relent.

That was dumb but it continues. Thanks again Erecticus for nudging me to post a full report with truth. So we get back to the apartment and I start drinking Vodka and she goes outside and smokes marijuana. (I smell it on her) I get toasted and argue with her on google translate til 6am! I see the sun coming up and go to sleep. My boss wakes me up after a reported ok session, BTW she banged on our door at 7am, an hour after I was sleep, to wake him up so she can get paid and leave, to go to a conference. At about 9:30am. I get up groggy and tell the GDP she has to leave. I give her R100 for nothing. I know. She asks for cab fare. I erupt. I said I'm going to either take my R100 back or she's going to STFU. She takes it and leave with a garota kiss at the door.

Now, this is a truthful report and one I didn't want to do. I read everything and hit the ground running IMO. I hit 4x4, about 10 massagems, and everything else available is still on the list. The problem was two things: Balcony and alcohol. I'm a hard drinker and struggled at 4x4 to simply drink water as others recommended. After a lot of patience and sessioning with a nice 7. 5 I went back to the main area and had some beer. Say what you want. I'm having a blast away from Balcony. I'm being dragged back there again tonight I think. I hope it's uneventful. Last thing: if I was here solo I would stop into Balcony only to scan for a 9 or 10 and leave without drinks at all.

[Eric Cartman]

By the way, anyone know a decent quality love motel somewhere near Lapa? I know there's been mention of one in Flamengo I think (Barao de?). Any others in that area? Please be good quality!

[Eric Cartman]

He actually draws sketches and cartoons on the back of the 502 entry cards. Some of them are pretty cool. I usually ask him to show me what he has drawn that day, and I "buy" them from him for R$5 or R$10. I actually framed a series of drawings he did, they were so cool.

[Eyali]

This terma actually is a dance club with DJ and shows.

Worth the driving of 15 mins Souther from Barra area.

Arrived after 22:00 (as suggested) there were lots of girls around 30 and lots of nice ones.

20 R$ for entrance and 170R$ for 30 mins. 300R$ for 1 hour, took the 30 mins.

Rooms are not bad with hot shower, after the session wend back to the bar and their was a carnival show with 3 dancers.

Most of the girl were watching the show with the customer and didn't try to catch guys.

This club is much better than Cafe 400atBarra

[Erectus Indicus]

Noticed loud music+staircase lit by colored light here when walking back to Uruguaiana yesterday night. Could be a new casa or could be a regular club.

[Erectus Indicus]

i must have missed you, senhor cartman, as i left around 8.

today it was a spinner named, yet again, mel. was one of the very few slender chicks available and the only spinner.

i just love the facilities here, going out on a limb would say only luomo's beat it. it is also the only place where i can chat with the clientele in english, today it was a impex businessman waiting for a second round.

noticed he had a red lipstick kiss mark on this robe, was wondering why would anyone kiss the robe after he left.

to confirm what cartman says about t65:40 mins is r$360, 1 hr is r$430, 1 hr super (?) is r$520. r$90 is the entrada and i didn't bother noting down the girl / room breakdown. it is not as if i am going to be allowed to take one out. and if one does come home, the prices are different from the termas anyway.

my mistake about the entrada in 4x4 has been corrected already (is only r$50) , so i will leave that alone.

i stopped at the padaria in the corner (uno e due) , had some really nice doces and some juice to recharge. it was a very well spent r$7.

t502 was sort of scraping the bottom today and there were a lot of office workers and quite a few milfs, one of which asked if i liked blondes.

i was able to to diplomatically push her away by saying i preferred morenas and mulatas.

rates are t502:40 minsatr$140, 60 minsatr$170, r$ 200/220 respectively for a suite.

there was an insanely hot (for me) mulata chick, who was tall, quite dark and pretty but, to put it politely, an older gentleman had pounced on her.

so i had to fallback to a morena chick who was shaking it up nicely and then she turned out to be a milf as well in the room. sometimes, karma gives it back quickly.

while checking out the goods, a man of quite considerable size in a sad clown costume (the costume, not him) like thing with a pink piglet hat, making some sort of announcement.

the chicks were collecting some money for a strip show and then the chick i was with told me they were going to play bingo before the show.

i asked again to confirm and she did describe it correctly so i have no idea what the fuck t502 was trying to become. i couldn't wait for the bingo to finish so up we went.

on the way out, noticed that they are having a 'hawai' theme on nov 08 and 09. for those of you who always fantasized about going to hawaii but came to rio instead.

the receptionist also handed me a card saying that gave me an free entry with one free drink only for mondays and tuesdays.

a picture of the cabine for those who haven't been there and the card are attached.

and then an amazing thing happened : nobody asked me for a tip on the way out, even the guard of considerable size!

[Eric Cartman]

Had a free night so decided to revisit some old centro favorites.

Hit Cancun around 6. 30pm on a Tuesday. Tuesday and Friday nights are Pagode (Brazilian folk / jazz) nights with live music. Entrada is R$60 that goes to consumption. Other nights the entrada is just R$40. This Tuesday it was PACKED with dudes. Seriously probably 40 dudes in the boate when I get there (thankfully only 1 with his robe down to his waist) and then up to 50+ when the music started at 7pm. The selection of girls was meh. I'd say 20 girls at first rising to 30+. Girls were cycling up from the whiskeria (you can tell because they are wearing dresses. Every other girl in the boate was in bikinis, and the whiskeria girls later changed into bikinis). Saw some ex-MC girls there. Nobody really to write home about. Maybe 1-2 doable in a pinch but a lot of thicker, big-butt types. Not a ton of young fresh talent either.

I know Bubba Boy loves Cancun's "facilities" but honestly they have never done it for me. There is like 1 bathroom per floor / 1 toilet. The one on the floor above reception is perhaps your best bet to find a clean stall that's not a disaster. The shower situation is weird. As far as I know, they only have showers in their SAUNA on the 3rd floor above receiption. There is 1 hot / cold shower and 3 cold ones. So there I am naked waiting for 2 dudes to finish using the one shower with hot water. Meh. Plus there was a pretty strong "locker room" smell in the locker rooms, and definitely mold smell in the stairways. I think time is taking its toll.

Anyway, I'd go back another night that's less packed (like Mon / Weds / Thurs) but the talent level wasn't awesome. If there was a girl I liked there, I can see why the Pagode would be fun. It's great to watch if you're just killing time and / or you have a girl there to squeeze. I saw several guys leaving to go up with chicks during the show. But when you only have 1 night free, you need to make every minute count.

Headed out around 8pm to T65, just 1 block away. The street that 65 is on is a bit safer / better lit now due to night classes at the marketing college on the corner near the Devassa, and the opening of the renovated Sul America building. There were still people chatting on the street and at Devasa at 9. 30 when I left.

I hadn't been to T65 for 4+ months maybe 5-6. Prices have gone up R$30 for 40 mins or for 1 hour, with the extra going to the girl. All-in with entrada, room, and girl, it's now R$360 for 40 mins and R$430 (!) for an hour. Zona Sul prices.

I really like T65's facilities. The lockers are good, the attendants there are nice (one dried my clothes for me after I arrived in a downpour) , the bathroom is clean and well maintained (3-4 showers, at least 2 of which are hot) , and I really like the steam room. Which like nobody uses so you can have it to yourself. I like the boate as it is not too big, there is good viewing of all the areas, and the music is never so loud that I can't talk to the chicks. If it wasn't so expensive it would be a good place to hang out often.

However T65 has suffered always (since I got here in 2010) from not having a lot of HOT girls. It has a number of thicker-butt Brazilian chicks, and some that I saw were roundly absurd. It has been missing younger and / or thinner chicks. I showed up with some trepdiation as a gal pal of mine recently returned to work there, and I was hoping to check out some other chicks there. I waited about 30 mins in the boate without seeing any new reasonable talent, and my friend showed up. She looked super hot, especially compared to what was available, and well let's just say the Cartman is a weak, weak man. While we chatted and fondled, I did see at least 2 very doable specimens enter. But I was already committed at that point. A fun time was had in the loom (as they say in Thailand). Total bill was R$464 including her drinks (which, honestly, sometimes you have to suck up once you know the chick and she gives you good service). I may have to put her back in my home rotation (at R$250 a throw). If 65 would just staff up with hotter girls, it would be worth the price and high on my list. As it is, you can roll the dice at 4x4 or 502 and probably come out 70% as good for like 60% of the cost.

[Poucolouco]

found a great one in ipanema, but that was back in 2008.

any recommendations for a pro massage. legitimate in rio? search didn't turn up much. thanks.

google search "massagens terapêuticas" em rio de janeiro.

[B J Lover]

Found a great one in Ipanema, but that was back in 2008.

Any recommendations for a pro massage. Legitimate in Rio? Search didn't turn up much. Thanks.

[Sherroid]

I could be wrong about the entrada but I am very sure the cost per hour is 260 (was discussing the girls' cut for an hour etc)

Anyway, I will find out and report on that and T65 / T502 in a couple of days.

I paid R$50 Entrada, R$240 for 40 minutes & R$260 for an hour. Two of us went as first timers and we both got free entrada. They said free entrada if you session before 6pm. He did, I didn't. They still comp'd me.

[VilaMimosa]

Last time there the prices were BR50 for entrada and BR240 for an hour in the cabine. That was about 2 months ago. Believe me; the price is still the biggest bang for your buck in Rio, but really disappointed in the price increase department. What are the other rates now for like a Super, the King's and the Sultan's suit prices? Just curious and I'm sure others will like the word from the ground. Thank you for the outstanding report.

Wait for the WC and Olympics than you are going to pay a 1000 for 40 minutes.

[Erectus Indicus]

Last time there the prices were BR50 for entrada and BR240 for an hour in the cabine. That was about 2 months ago. Believe me; the price is still the biggest bang for your buck in Rio, but really disappointed in the price increase department. What are the other rates now for like a Super, the King's and the Sultan's suit prices? Just curious and I'm sure others will like the word from the ground. Thank you for the outstanding report.

I could be wrong about the entrada but I am very sure the cost per hour is 260 (was discussing the girls' cut for an hour etc)

Anyway, I will find out and report on that and T65 / T502 in a couple of days.