General Reports

[TomJackin]

After parking at the Duty Free lot, I went shopping for some necessary adult beverages. I was told I was allowed to bring 3 bottles across, so I bought 3 bottles, one bottle of Corralejo (Blanco) for $18 for myself, and a couple of bottles of Baileys, which were on sale for 2 for $29, for one of my favorites. In between the turnstiles, I was told that I had to push that silly button to get either the green or red light to get searched or not; I got the green light. But then the military dudes called me over for a search. I said,"Dudes! I got the damn green light, what the hell?" They didn't search very hard, and I joked with them the whole time; no big deal.

Stayed at the Ticuan as usual. One note about the place. They run a credit card, but it is not for room or bar service goodies, it is in case of room damage or if the remote for the TV comes up missing. If you want to charge stuff to the room, you have to create an account with your credit card with a specific amount on it. Then at check out, you can either leave it on the card or pay in cash for the amount charged.

For whatever reason, HK was quite packed in the late afternoon; maybe the holiday weekend had something to do with it. On my way from HK to the taco stand, I heard my name and it was one of my favorite HK girls getting out of a cab. She just came from the doctor and explained that she fell down and banged up one of her knees. She also said she wasn't working, so I asked why she was in the Zona and she told me that she lives in the HK hotel. So together, we ruled out sex positions. No doggy, check, no cowgirl, check. I asked,"Baby, does it hurt to lay on your back with your legs in the air?" She laughed and said no. We made a lunch date for Saturday.

My friends, Sid and his wife, picked me up at the arch and we headed out to a couple of bars in the La Mesa area. I call them my parents, even though they are not much older than me. Mainly because they scold me when I do stupid shit, which seems more often than not. But before they picked me up, I was standing around with my thumb up my ass, when I heard these dudes calling me from that strip club that is next to hotel Nelson. They were telling about the hot girls in the club and I yelled back,"Bring a couple out for me to see!" And they did, and they looked decent, at least from a distance. So I felt obligated to have a drink in the joint. There were a couple of cuties in the place. I sat at the bar and was not hassled whatsoever. Did not check on prices though; my bad.

After my parents dropped my off at the hotel, one of my favorites was already waiting for me. Imagine that, a woman being on time! After spending a few hours playing, it was off to work for her. And this was the time where I should have called it a night. For whatever reason it might be, I just don't have the damn sense to call it a night. Headed back to HK. At that point, it was wall to wall hombres! At one point while fighting my way through the crowd, I could not see any women. I decided to run through some of the other clubs. Most of them were packed so I walked the alley for a bit and searched for some downright nastiness.

I was walking towards the Chicago club and that's when I met "the one" in the doorway of the hotel. I finally met the cover girl for the "Meth Hoe" magazine. I thought, could I, would I, and then had a "What the fuck" moment. She wanted $20 for an hour, and I countered with 150 pesos, she agreed, and off we went like a happy couple! I quickly noticed that she was missing a few teeth and then when she striped down, I noticed she was missing her left nipple too! She asked if I wanted the lights off and I said,"Hell no baby! I have to see what I just got myself into!" She actually performed like a champ and she was a tad charming, in her own hideous way. I know, I'll seek therapy next week.

I figured I did enough damage for one day and started walking back to the hotel. On my way down Revolution Ave, I had a decent looking woman call me over for a chat. She asked where I was going and said she wanted to join me at the hotel for $50. I said,"Baby, if you had any idea of who and what I just got done fucking, you would surely change your mind!" I chatted to her for a couple of minutes and I think she knew I was an easy target because of the stench of tequila and the Meth Hoe. I knew it was somewhat of a setup because her last offer was five bucks for an hour. I moved along.

On Saturday, my parents came by the hotel and we were drinking in the bar when the broken HK girl showed up, and on time, what a concept. I asked her what kind of food did she want to eat and carne it was. Sid suggested the Rodeo in La Mesa and off the 4 of us went. I was really impressed with that place. I told the HK sweetie that it was her day, and to pig out as necessary, and she did. The soup was great, but then I was told it was possum soup, oh well, it was still great nevertheless. Mom and Pop dropped us off at the hotel and the HK sweetie showed her gratitude for the next couple of hours in the room.

I met up with 5RB (from TJA) in the evening at HK. I'm never there on Saturday evenings, but I thought there was a great lineup of women. There was fine gal with even a finer ass dancing on the bar, so I had my trusted night mesero, Johnny, go grab her. Pretty gal, hot ass, but she would not drop below $80. I played with her ass for a bit and then she moved on. I asked RB if he was ready to leave his comfort zone out of Zona Norte, and he said he was up for it; off we went to La Estrella club!

First off, all the clubs in that area were hopping, and it all seemed to be with locals. Once in La Estrella, we took a stroll around because not only was I checking out the women, I was also looking for the Gringo, the "Fat Fred Astaire." He usually hangs out there on Saturday night. Did not see him, so we went to the bar where the bartended pretended we didn't exist. RB goes outside for a smoke, and all of the sudden I hear,"What, are you fucking lost again?" It was the Gringo. He said,"I over there with three chicks, a little help please." I said,"Don't worry, Daddy Pesos is on the way!" I grabbed RB and we reported for duty!

There was a smaller gal, cute and full of life, I put dibs on her! And after I whipped out the pesos for a big bucket of beers, she was all over my happy ass. Now RB did not get the best end of this tour of duty, but the girl told me,"Me gusta tu amigo." But either way it seemed to work out. It wasn't more than a few minutes later when I looked over and he had a lip lock on her while playing with her tits. Thus we were all happy campers. And the big buckets of beer kept coming.

The club has seats that surround the tables and dance area. And sitting next to us was a couple of women that kept looking over at me. Every now and then, I would hand them a beer from the bucket. Both big, but they seemed nice. My girl went to the bathroom, and the younger of the two big women saw her chance and asked me to dance; and I did. That woman would not let my ass off that dance floor. She had a super glue grip on me and was not about to let loose; she quickly became my "Plan B." I finally pried loose and was reunited with my girl, who seemed really happy about my return.

The girls were trashed and we were having a blast. The girls kept knocking over their beers, it was like drinking with the Keystone Cops! But one of the highlights of the night is when I looked over at RB's girl and she was trying to gnaw off a bottle top with her teeth. I about pissed my pants because I was laughing so hard. The irony was there was a bottle opener less than a arm's reach of her on the wooden post next to her silly ass head. I wanted to say,"Give me that damn bottle before you hurt yourself," but I was laughing too hard to utter a single word.

RB asked if I was going to head back to the Zona, and I said,"Hell no, I'm taking "what's her name" back to the hotel." The only thing that I knew about this girl was that she was a pistol in the club and she had a bad habit of knocking over beers. I had no idea she was a proctologist until she flipped me over in the bed and started giving me a prostate exam with her tongue, she was an ass tonguing freak. After a couple of hours of playing with her, I asked for her hand in marriage, but she turned me down. As she was leaving and she was fully dressed, she dropped to her knees for a goodbye licking; I'm truly in love.

The border agent asked me what I was bring back from Tijuana and I replied with a big fucking grin,"A half bottle of Tequila and some damn good memories!"

[Ath Trainer]

I agree that wandering around the city at 6 AM is not a good idea. I had been sitting in Adelitas for a few hours waiting until 6 AM so I could catch the trolley back to Amtrak. The ladies know me well enought in there, especially at that hour, and no lady even approached me.

I had just walked out the door and immediately got into a white cab. They lit us up prior to Constitucion, and pulled us over just after. I actually think they had to be waiting outside Adelitas for anyone to come out, especially by themselves. I was just the unfortunate one who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I wrongly figured if I just walked out the door, and got in a cab, I would be okay A very wrong guess.

Health & happiness to all.

You would have been better off walking back to the border, LOL. The street thugs would have been asleep by then. Only the real thieves in the cars with the lights on them are up at that hour. Nothing like a little southern hospitality to encourage an out of towner to come back and spend their $.

[SuperSteve]

I agree that wandering around the city at 6 AM is not a good idea. I had been sitting in Adelitas for a few hours waiting until 6 AM so I could catch the trolley back to Amtrak. The ladies know me well enought in there, especially at that hour, and no lady even approached me.

I had just walked out the door and immediately got into a white cab. They lit us up prior to Constitucion, and pulled us over just after. I actually think they had to be waiting outside Adelitas for anyone to come out, especially by themselves. I was just the unfortunate one who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I wrongly figured if I just walked out the door, and got in a cab, I would be okay A very wrong guess.

Health & happiness to all.

[Artisttyp]

Damn Steve, why in the hell are you hanging out that late.

I agree with tom. Being around the zona at 6am is a bad idea. To be out at that time you need to be loaded or getting into trouble. Either way it is a great time to shake people down. Here in NYC you read stories about shootings and fights that happen on Sunday AM around the same time. People are all drugged up or patience levels are sporadic due to being up all night.

Glad you got through it ok SS. That is a total buzzkill.

[Phordphan]

I asked to see "the camera" (is what they said) , and I was told that I would have to stay in jail until tomorrow, or I could post a bail of $1, 000 pesos. The most amazing party was my "bail" was much less than I had in cash. I can assure you that the Tijuana jail that I saw was not a place that I wanted to be for 5 minutes.

I had decided to stay up all night, and not get a hotel. I was just sitting in Adelitas for about2-3 hours. I didn't even talk to anyone. At 6 AM I was on the way to the border. I think that they marked me before I even got in the cab while walking from Adelitas to the corner.

That really sucks! And, yes, your were targeted. The part that really bothers me is how elaborate their scheme was. A phoney judge and assorted BS. The weird part is that they only wanted 1,000MXN.

Here's a link, which may be helpful. The Tijuana Sindicatura tend to take this shit seriously. It's easy to fill out. You should, and then let us know what happens, one way or another.

http://www.sindicatura.gob.mx/complaints/index.asp

[Simonwagstaff]

I am always sure to be out of the zona by 8:00 pm at the latest. I have never had any trouble but I am sure it is there if I go looking for it. I am sure that you were not, likely just the only available gringo at the time.

[SuperSteve]

I asked to see "the camera" (is what they said) , and I was told that I would have to stay in jail until tomorrow, or I could post a bail of $1, 000 pesos. The most amazing party was my "bail" was much less than I had in cash. I can assure you that the Tijuana jail that I saw was not a place that I wanted to be for 5 minutes.

I had decided to stay up all night, and not get a hotel. I was just sitting in Adelitas for about2-3 hours. I didn't even talk to anyone. At 6 AM I was on the way to the border. I think that they marked me before I even got in the cab while walking from Adelitas to the corner.

[TomJackin]

I did nothing to anyone. As a matter of fact, I was just chilling for the last 2-3hours waiting to head back home, and hadn't spoken to any one. I do not know who it was in the car, but I had never seen her before, and she didn't look like a working girl.

I walked down to the corner and got in a white cab. They pulled us over immediately. I don't think the cab driver was in on it, but who knows.

It was a pure and simple shake down, although they did not take all my money, which surprised me.

I had always felt very comfortable in Tijuana, I think now I will be going to my KMP more often now to session.

Damn Steve, why in the hell are you hanging out that late. We both know that you are too damn old (me too) to be up that late. I got shook down at 7pm on NYE, but the fucks didn't take my money or cart my ass off to jail either. What did you see on the video?

I was looking for you last night, but I guess you were too busy molesting women, or at least one for sure.

It's a damn shame that they don't leave us old fucks alone!

[The Tall Man]

This morning I was arrested coming out of Adelitas.

I decided to stay up all night and leave for the border at 6 AM. I left Adelitas and jumped in a cab. The driver says,"Why are the Policia pulling me over, I haven't done anything". He come back to the car and says,"They want to talk to you". They take everything out of my pockets and put it on the trunk of the cab, and ask me if I have any drugs. Duh, no.

They then tell me that a lady made a complaint about me for "bothering her". They also say that they have it on a camera. I say can I see it, and they tell me to get in the car, and that I must go to the jail. The pictures on TV do not really do justice to what a real sh*thole it is.

I am put before the "judge", who I think may have been a sergeant. He finds me guilty and I have a choice of 24 hours in jail, or 1, 000 peso fine. I opt for the 1, 000 peso fine. They put me back in the car and we drive round for a while, and stop at a car with a lady and kid, in the car with a guy on the outside. They get out and talk. They get back in the car and ask me if I have the fine. I give them the 80 dollars and they take me to the border, joking that this is my cab ride. A very interesting trip to Tijuana.

Health & happiness to all.

WOW SS you dodged a bullet! Stay safe please.

The Tall Man

[SuperSteve]

I did nothing to anyone. As a matter of fact, I was just chilling for the last 2-3hours waiting to head back home, and hadn't spoken to any one. I do not know who it was in the car, but I had never seen her before, and she didn't look like a working girl.

I walked down to the corner and got in a white cab. They pulled us over immediately. I don't think the cab driver was in on it, but who knows.

It was a pure and simple shake down, although they did not take all my money, which surprised me.

I had always felt very comfortable in Tijuana, I think now I will be going to my KMP more often now to session.

[Artisttyp]

It has been illegal to smoke in bars and restaurants for about 4 years now. The bars in Tijuana and Mexicali have been ignoring the law. The word on the street is that the Federal government has ordered compliance with the law here.

We will see where this goes. When it happened in NYC it was a foot in the door for a whole mess of other restrictions and violations like outdoor noise and 100 year old cabaret law that prohibited dancing and liquor without a special license. They are hard to get these days because they are so limited. Nobody wants to deal with shithole bars and the degenerates who frequent them.

There is a lot going on with Tijuana politics these days as usual. Some Woman is trying to close the zona down overhyping false facts. Forgot the wench's name already.

I am not crazy about cigarettes either but when you start governing with an "above the law" mentality issues arise. Look at the USA now. Everybody wants to get in your business and it's doing more harm than good. Good for you guys that don't smoke but don't come crying when something you like is affected by it and your vice is restricted.

[Reinaldo]

I wouldn't rule out that you could stay at one of the love motels particularly one of the older ones like El Parador or Los Pinos. In recent years quite a number of love motels have been built in Tijuas and the older ones may be finding it more difficult to compete. Why not call and inquire?

Hey Guys, never been to tijuana before, quick question.

Its my impression after reading through the blog that the love motes (premier, la manson, el perador) are not "real hotels" but are just for 3-4hr renal. Is this true for ALL of them? I really like the pics on the web site of el parador. But I need a hotel for about 5 days where I get a key to the room and I can come and go as I please (weds through sun) and I want to stay in Tijuana. I am going there for one reason only and thats to fuck! I was planning on mostly using escorts because I like the GFE and I don't want to be rushed by fucking girls at HK for 30mins at a time.

And if I can't stay at one of the "love motels" what would be my next best option? It seems like guys like Hotel Ticuan. I do not want to pay an arm and a leg for a room but I don't want to stay at a dump either.

[Reinaldo]

I wasn't planning on commenting but you whining smokers need to get a grip.

[Reinaldo]

You didn't pay a fine. You paid a bribe. When you pay a fine you get a receipt.

This morning I was arrested coming out of Adelitas.

I decided to stay up all night and leave for the border at 6 AM. I left Adelitas and jumped in a cab. The driver says,"Why are the Policia pulling me over, I haven't done anything". He come back to the car and says,"They want to talk to you". They take everything out of my pockets and put it on the trunk of the cab, and ask me if I have any drugs. Duh, no.

They then tell me that a lady made a complaint about me for "bothering her". They also say that they have it on a camera. I say can I see it, and they tell me to get in the car, and that I must go to the jail. The pictures on TV do not really do justice to what a real sh*thole it is.

I am put before the "judge", who I think may have been a sergeant. He finds me guilty and I have a choice of 24 hours in jail, or 1, 000 peso fine. I opt for the 1, 000 peso fine. They put me back in the car and we drive round for a while, and stop at a car with a lady and kid, in the car with a guy on the outside. They get out and talk. They get back in the car and ask me if I have the fine. I give them the 80 dollars and they take me to the border, joking that this is my cab ride. A very interesting trip to Tijuana.

Health & happiness to all.

[Keg]

This morning I was arrested coming out of Adelitas.

They then tell me that a lady made a complaint about me for "bothering her". They also say that they have it on a camera. I say can I see it, and they tell me to get in the car, and that I must go to the jail. The pictures on TV do not really do justice to what a real sh*thole it is.

SS,

Bummer story. You didn't say if it was all bullshit, or if you actually did something to the lady who made the charge. Just curious where exactly it happened, in AB or outside in front of the club?