General Reports

[Phordphan]

I too am always looking for good places. I have tried some of those listed but things a little hidden or further out would be good as well. I don't usually wander too far from Revo for food. Except the time I went to Los Arcos (Which is amazing BTW) I love seafood.

How far out of the way?

I know a killer breakfast / lunch place (Chilaquiles) where the food is good and the presentation is amazing, next to the Ensueno motel in Otay, a great local seafood place (Chewin's) on Industrial in Otay, a cool little taco shop that also serves good baked potatoes and nopal "steaks" near 5 Y 10, the best Thai food in this hemisphere in Mexicali, a great garlic butter crab place in Popotla. However, one must have a car to visit these places, so I rarely mention them.

I was down there yesterday and remembered your mention of the taco truck. We spotted it on the side street right by the Office Depot. Flipped a you turn at the traffic circle and just as we were pulling up the truck drove away. Do you happen to know the hours the truck is there or does it just come and go.

On a side note do you drive in Tijuana phordphan? I refuse. I can never figure out the traffic regulations, nobody stops at stop signs, the place we made a you turn at had a big no you turn sign but yet there were 10 cars in a row waiting to make a you turn. So how does it work do you just disobey the rules unless you see a cop around or what.

I asked the truck guy once, but I don't remember well. I know they are there every weekday from before lunch to somewhere between 3:00 and 4:00, IIRC. They are also there on Saturdays, roughly the same hours. They are not there on Sunday.

Yes, I do drive in Tijuana. I had to start because it seems most of my faves live in or around Otay. Otay's a ***** to get into and out of on foot, and taxis are a PITA. I was extremely nervous the first several times, and I've related getting jacked up by the Mexicali fuzz and being made to submit to a breathalyzer in Tijuana, so it hasn't been a walk in the park.

The basic rules seem to be the same as California, although none of my faves know if a right turn on a red is legal. I think it is because I saw a sign somewhere that forbade it at that particular intersection. Traffic lanes seem to be more of a suggestion and the glorietas (round-abouts to us English-speakers) tend to be a cluster-fuck. The blowing stop sign thing scares me and I still haven't figured out how you tell which ones to obey and which ones to ignore. The "No xxx" signs are a bit confusing. A red circle with the particular symbol inside of it means that is it OK to do that thing, I. E. A you-turn. A red circle with a red slash through it means that it's forbidden. Which, as you pointed out, may or may not actually be obeyed.

Overall, it's been worth the hassle. The thing I'm overcoming is the natural timidity of driving in a foreign country. It's being replaced by local-style aggressiveness and things seem to be going smoother. One big hangup is that I really don't want any big dents in my car, and the locals don't seem to share my sentiments.

[Rosco2]

But I told the SG she's got to go to my room in Cascadas. No problem....She agreed to go to my room. Went to cascadas and the guy at the front desks says he needs to see her ID. "Oh" she says. Oh?

Why would Cascadas mess up your plans by asking the SG for her ID? Is that standard operating procedure at Cascadas? (asking the SGs for their ID's)?

[CumberlandBlue]

reserved a room for cascadas. got into lz about 2 pm going to the zone is like going to disneyworld. i get no sleep the night before from anticipation, and i'm always struggling during my quick stays because i'm tired. i determined i would focus on sgs this trip, as i never had the balls to try them. don't know why i didn't try it sooner. since my spanish is poor i wrote out what i wanted on a card (which i forgot- left it on my desk at work lol). so walking around the alley, i saw a few i would scoop up but i'm a very bashful guy and i was led to believe they spoke little english. everyone one i interacted with spoke well enough english so no problems.

anyways, so my viagra is starting to rear it's ugly head and just then a really skinny and tall chica, maybe 25 or 27?, with i think red hair, grabs me and says she'll lick my balls for $20 and i can fuck her ass for $20. ok! but i told her she's got to go to my room. no problem. this is by gloria bar. this chica is a walking scam. she probably needed a fix and promised me the world. she agreed to go to my room. went to cascadas and the guy at the front desks says he needs to see her id. "oh" she says. oh? red flag is going off but of course now little cumberland is driving this circus show so we go to her hotel. i should have told her to fuck off because she had to know they weren't letting her in and that she had no intention of going in. "it's only $5 at my hotel" she says. we get there and start getting naked. i was thinking of taking a shower as i was horribly sweaty but the thought of me separating my gaze from my pants / stopped that. she can deal with my swamp ass. we get naked and then she runs the real menu- $20 for this, $20 for that. i tell her my menu and she wants $60. i say we'll just skip it all and do the $20 and she she'll accept $45. ok, whatever. by this time i just want to get off. i've let this girl run her scam on me and after a 2 second cbj, i'm soft, even with my viagra running on full speed. she claims she put me in her ass but won't let me touch down there to confirm. i did get to feel her penucha earlier, so at least i know she's a chica and not a chico. anyways i give up and don't expect to get hard let alone nut, so i throw in the towel. while getting dressed she asks for the $. i still have to get my shirt and shoes on, i give her the $ and she's gone, like thanks and poof. grrr. live and learn. i didn't see her the rest of my stay- i wonder if she was a walker? her name was "jilla"?

i am forgetting the order of the names of these two next girls. i think it was sofia and then maillarta (but now i am not sure.

hit up hk and it's kind of dead but plenty of chicas to choose from. enjoyed a shaving cream show. i didn't realize it was the same two girls who do that show all day / night long. anyways- guys were tipping them a buck and then fingering them. like one guy had two fingers in there and just going to town. not my thing. i tipped her and when she slid her ass to me to finger her i signed a "no, no necessito" and so she got up and gave me a kiss. i am planning on leaving tijuana, like 5 am, because i can't stomach a 3 hour wait at the border (i've considered a sentri but not sure how it works. will my so find out? so i only drink two beers the whole night. i saw what i thought was stone cold carla and it was, and next to her was that tall dark skinned chica that is very popular on a different site. i couldn't remember if her reviews were good or bad so i will save her for next time (reviews are very good). but carla is really cute and seems really fun. anyways, i approach sofia. she's right in front of cascadas. $20 for 20 min. go up. i get naked and she still has her top up. i tell her- "you know, i knew i forgot something! no clothes. " so she went over the menu. $40 for naked, 3 positions, suck / fuck. went for that. stupid me- i have pesos. lol. everytime i negotiated my entire trip, i forgot that. she was good. very clean and sweet. tight little butt. i love tight little butts. good time. i got a lot of feedback that i paid too much- $300 pesos next time. i plan on telling them i am over paying and see if i can work at least some more extras.

back to hk. i have to admit this: i adore paloma de veracruz. i adore her and she knows i adore her. when i think about a future trip, i think of her. i went with her arriba 3 time my first time in the zona a year ago, and i was hooked. and nothing in hk that night did anything for me so i ended up taking her up three times, and i had an experience with her that i've never felt with any other provider- ever- and i miss her between trips down to the zn. i keep telling her she's done black magic on me. and you'd think that sets me up for being a plm and yes, it very well could. i could, if i was a tad more crazy, support her lifestyle. but we had texted for a while and eventually she just said we'll talk again when i'm in town and that was that. i could make her life very comfortable if she ran the game on me but there's no game. no hint of wanting anything other than a fair price for her time. i tried to set up a thing on her day off and she pretended to not understand and just says i'll meet you at the club. she wants to sleep on her day off, she said. i assume there's a boyfriend or even a pedrote, as she's so small and tiny i can't see her in tijuana on her own. anyways, everything is covered but not an issue for me. but she gives the best head i've had in my short time in tijuana, even covered. and her reverse cowgirl is majestic. she knows how to lean just the right way to really maximize pressure and pound away to maximize the pleasure. our agreed rate is $60 but as you'd imagine based on my raving she gets a fat propina.

went and ate across at that grill place across from montecristo. salty asada in my quesidilla. but not bad but the food in los angeles is a million times better than this.

walked around and went up with. i think her name was maillarta? her face had some moderate acne scars but not too bad. really sweet. $40 (forgot using the pesos again). she had a bit too much jiggle for me in her butt. but it was a good session. i tried to get her into my favorite position- they lay on their stomach and i mount them from behind. she seemed uncomfortable with it and i asked why and she said no culo and i said i know, no culo. and so i got her into position and she squirmed out. i easily weigh twice as much as her and i could understand her not wanting to be in a position where i could force myself on her and she'd be powerless to stop me. that thought saddened me as i have to imagine it happens and she seems so nice. if you are that guy i hope you get a disease and your dick falls off. this poor girls, a real sweetie, deserves better. anyways, it was a good time. big nut. took a nap as it was now about 1 am.

woke up at 3 am shower and hang out at hk until i was ready to go again and hit up sandra, she's a building down from cascadas. i don't remember reading anything about her but wow she was my perfect body type: tight body, skin a nice light dark color, gorgeous tight ass and stomach that takes a lot to maintain, perfect sized breasts and nice little nipples like little cherries on two sundaes. she was delish and we had fun. same $40 as the other 2 sgs. at the beginning i told her my peepee was tired and i probably wouldn't cum, so towards the end when i was tired of banging the shit out of her i rolled over and she proceeded to give me a handjob. when i told her to stop, i was done, she was really concerned i was not pleased. that was a nice touch. i promised i'll be her favorite amigo from now on and i'll always treat her nice.

woke up at 5:30 from the phone ringing. it was paloma- she forgot the bag of candy i brought for her kid and wanted to get it. she was tired and not into staying, just wanted the chocolate. i should have texted her and she would have planned it. but that was good for me- crossed the line in an hour or so and at my rental car at 7:15. had to be back at the rental car place in l. a. by 9:30 am or get hit with a late fee. got there closer to 10 but the guy was cool about it. he should be since i rented a cheap, gas efficient little economy car online and all they had was a ford explorer. cost me $80 in gas, twice as usual- next time i am going amtrak. i'll sleep and drink beer on the way down. then i can party and not worry about being fucked up on the way home. and drink and sleep on the way home. it'll take like 4 hours, but saturdays at 11 am it's not that much shorter driving.

thanks for reading my report, or just skipping to the descriptions of the girls and what i paid. think i'll be heading down again at end of august. i have a rotation of girls now! now i have chicas whose eyes will light up when they see me because they know i will make them happy for 10 minutes upstairs and i will give them a nice tip. lol. the one thing i learned to say was no. no to a chica that thinks flashing me her fake tits deserves a dollar in a bar. no to the little kid who doesn't have to learn the game because they think they are cute and so they deserve a buck. no. but the old lady who can barely wobble down the street still gets a coin here and there, always.

[Baxter Slade]

You have missed one of the other reasons to visit Tijuana. Tijuana has become a major foodie destination. Sticking with the crap you can find around San Ysidro is a big mistake, IMHO.

Outstanding gourmet taco truck, weekdays, next to Office Depot on Paseo de las Heroes, near Plaza Rio.

I was down there yesterday and remembered your mention of the taco truck. We spotted it on the side street right by the Office Depot. Flipped a you turn at the traffic circle and just as we were pulling up the truck drove away. Do you happen to know the hours the truck is there or does it just come and go.

On a side note do you drive in Tijuana phordphan? I refuse. I can never figure out the traffic regulations, nobody stops at stop signs, the place we made a you turn at had a big no you turn sign but yet there were 10 cars in a row waiting to make a you turn. So how does it work do you just disobey the rules unless you see a cop around or what.

[SlickVick]

Phordan, thank you! I will check out some of your recommendations in September. Please keep them coming. I usually live on food cart cheeseburgers and tacos from the joint next to Adelitas. Any further food advice would be much appreciated.

I too am always looking for good places. I have tried some of those listed but things a little hidden or further out would be good as well. I don't usually wander too far from Revo for food. Except the time I went to Los Arcos (Which is amazing BTW) I love seafood.

[CTDan]

Phordan, thank you! I will check out some of your recommendations in September. Please keep them coming. I usually live on food cart cheeseburgers and tacos from the joint next to Adelitas. Any further food advice would be much appreciated.

[FlapJacK]

Whenever they ask me if I am bringing anything I always answer back with "I hope not" They usually laugh at that.

Hey Rosco don't worry to much about what you are going to tell the agent. They almost never ask me what I was doing in MX. The first question is are you bringing anything back. I always say a ticket from Caliente (The Sports betting place) , then they asume they know what I was doing there.

They don't care if you were at a club, here is how a recent conversation went with a buddy who crossed with me.

Agent: What were you doing in MX. ?

Buddy: Went to a Club.

Agent: Which one?

Buddy: Hong Kong.

Agent: Why didn't you go to Adelita?

Buddy: Hong Kong is the place to go these days.

Agent: Have a nice day.

As far as the bullfight goes there was one on the 20th but it is not a regular occurance. So best to just tell the truth or it will look like you are trying to hide something.

[Phordphan]

There are a lot of food places, but I've done a horrible job of figuring out where the good ones are in this town. I pretty much stick to eating in the United States, at food carts on the corner of the Alley and Constitucion and a little restaurant that sells pretty good Mexican food right next to Adelita.

You have missed one of the other reasons to visit Tijuana. Tijuana has become a major foodie destination. Sticking with the crap you can find around San Ysidro is a big mistake, IMHO.

The Zona does have good food for the most part. Try the seafood joint, La Perla, NW corner of Coahuila and Ninos Heroes.

Hotel Caesar is a very good place to eat. The eponymous salad is good, the tapas are good, the drinks good, etc.

Chiki Jai, NE corner of Revu and 7th, has excellent Spanish tapas and some fairly decent house wine. Try the mushrooms.

There is a killer taco cart, corner of Madero and Juarez, aka 2nd. Excellent carne asada and tripas, 2 for 20 pesos. Better than any I've had in the Zona.

Until dusk there is an excellent Ensenada style fish taco cart, NW corner of Madero and 5th (You can't miss it for the crowds of locals.

Farther afield, La Revancha has good molcajetes. Outstanding gourmet taco truck, weekdays, next to Office Depot on Paseo de las Heroes, near Plaza Rio.

Cien Anos is an excellent traditional restaurant, on Velazco, within walking distance of Abe Lincoln, IIRC.

And, you can't miss with Mision 19, about the best food in Tijuana at any price.

That's just off the top of my head. There are about a bazillion little places all over that offer excellent food and very good value for money and all within an easy taxi ride of the zona.

[Baxter Slade]

Is that bullfighting stadium near the sea still open? When Customs asks what I was doing, maybe I'll just say I went to see my first-ever bull fight, instead of visiting Hong Kong. Don't want to be put on the Federal Pervs List. Haha.

Do Customs officials make notes in their little computers on your responses? "Oh, Rosco went to Hong Kong again.".

Hey Rosco don't worry to much about what you are going to tell the agent. They almost never ask me what I was doing in MX. The first question is are you bringing anything back. I always say a ticket from Caliente (The Sports betting place) , then they asume they know what I was doing there.

They don't care if you were at a club, here is how a recent conversation went with a buddy who crossed with me.

Agent: What were you doing in MX. ?

Buddy: Went to a Club.

Agent: Which one?

Buddy: Hong Kong.

Agent: Why didn't you go to Adelita?

Buddy: Hong Kong is the place to go these days.

Agent: Have a nice day.

As far as the bullfight goes there was one on the 20th but it is not a regular occurance. So best to just tell the truth or it will look like you are trying to hide something.

[Rosco2]

Excuse my ignorance, but what is "P4 P21"?

Hi LeoRyder,

"P4 P21" is the original poster, PayForPlay21. You can see his message about 15 posts down.

I think I have my itinerary figured out:

Hotel Cascadas first (or Rizo de Oro if Cascadas renegs).

Then Hong Kong Club, followed by an Alley walk. Got to see the alley and Constitution! Every city should have streets like that where the police don't bother the working girls. Are Tijuana, Thailand, Australia, and Germany the only countries with some designated streets where the cops don't bother the ladies?

The second club I'll probably visit is Dulce Gabanna for the hot senoritas. Mas caliente.

Next up is either Mermaids or Adelitas.

Then sometime after 11 or midnight, La Valentina followed by La Maquerida the following night.

And when I taxi to Revolution, Las Pulgas.

Any other clubs to recommend?

Is that bullfighting stadium near the sea still open? When Customs asks what I was doing, maybe I'll just say I went to see my first-ever bull fight, instead of visiting Hong Kong. Don't want to be put on the Federal Pervs List. Haha.

Do Customs officials make notes in their little computers on your responses? "Oh, Rosco went to Hong Kong again.".

[CTDan]

I apologize, P4 P21 is meant to respond to PayForPlay21, who asked a number of questions about traveling to Tijuana.

For some stories, please check back to 11/18-11/23/13 in General Reports where I drunkenly cataloged my most recent visit. Going back this September. I promise to provide updates.

[Leo Ryder]

P4 P21,

Excuse my ignorance, but what is "P4 P21"?

[Rosco2]

Beyond the six big clubs in ZN, there are about 15 others....you never know what you'll find in these other places. Without exception I've had some great times in every one of them. With some crazy, crazy stories.

Please, please tell us the stories if you can!

[CTDan]

P4 P21,

Avenido Revolucion is a ten minute walk from La Zona Norte, up Constitucion, bang a left on Articulo 123, and a block later you are at the Arch. Which is on one end of the famous Av Revo.

I cab it. It's a three dollar cab ride. The three block walk is uphill through a neighborhood that is passable during the day, but I would certainly avoid in the middle of the night. Spend the three bucks.

The party on Av Revo starts at the Arch, at Hotel Nelson (which has a pretty good bar) and continues up to Hotel Ticuan (which is next to one of the biggest clubs in the city, Las Pulgas). The cross streets of Revo have both a name and a number. Hotel Nelson is on Calle Articulo 123 - which is 1st. Hotel Ticuan is on Calle Octava (8th). On Revo, or just off Revo are four strip joints which are more touristy and expensive than in La Zona. On Revo, there are lots of younger-crowd dance clubs that start to get going around 10 pm and the prime jewel is Las Pulgas. On sixth (aka Sexta or Flores Magnon), in one block in either direction of Revo are a bunch of pretty good locals bars that you can wander around if that is your liking. There is also a Calienda Casino on Revo, which is ok, and a sports book near Ticuan / Pulgas next to the old Jai Alai fronton.

During the day, almost all of the bars and clubs have specials. More than once, I've gotten two beers, a shot of cheap tequila, and a small bowl of salsa and chips for $5 - which makes for a great 45 minutes of chica watching during the rest between La Zona debauchery. There are also a plethora of little shops that all sell the same crap such as wrestling masks, cheap jewelry and chess sets (I'm not joking). And, tons of Farmacias. My personal preference is Farmacia Similares, of which there must be four or five on this eight block stretch. Walk in, go to the back counter, and you'll be on your way in three minutes with four 100 mg tabs of Viagra for under $20.

There are a lot of food places, but I've done a horrible job of figuring out where the good ones are in this town. I pretty much stick to eating in the United States, at food carts on the corner of the Alley and Constitucion and a little restaurant that sells pretty good Mexican food right next to Adelita.

[CTDan]

P4 P21,

Beyond the six big clubs in ZN, there are about 15 others. They all have their unique charm and vary with a mixture of ficha bar, locals bar, or outright brothel. In every one of these you may find an available lady, an available mesera (waitress), a ficha girl (who won't go arriba), a ficha girl (who will go arriba), some lady who will offer handle business in the corner booth, a drunk local, an off-duty bar girl, or any combination of the above. The biggest exceptions are pretty much across the street from each other in the Alley; La Malquereida and La Valentina. Their exception is that after midnight, they start to get a pretty big party going that includes the off duty staff of the clubs. Malquereida fills up first, and Valentina gets the overflow. Otherwise, you never know what you'll find in these other places. Without exception I've had some great times in every one of them. With some crazy, crazy stories. And, without exception, I've also walked in and walked right out of every one at one time or another without even buying a drink.

On the corner of La Coahuilla and Av Ninos Heroes are Lucky Lady and Amor Latino. On Constitucion, between La Cohauilla and the Alley are La Gloria, Playboy Club and Hacienda. Across from Hacienda on Consitucion is Delicias. Across of Hacienda on the Alley is the aforementioned Malquereida.

In the Alley, aside from lots of street girls and assorted misfits, on one side you have Hacienda, El Corral, Valentinas, Las Chavellas, and Hong Kong. On the other side, starting at Malquereida, you have La Carretta, Gold Palace, Karlas, Chavas, and Goldorino. Across from Goldorino (on Av Ninos Heroes) is Majestic. Some of these places may have closed, reopened under a new name, or another may have opened since I last remember. I really like recharging in these places, but I'm a dive bar guy. And these are major league dives. After a few days of the big six, I need a change of pace. And I find that in these joints or on Av Revo.

My best advice is to avoid all side alleys (even when there are some bars within spitting distance), avoid Av Ninos Heroes between the Alley and Calle Coahilla, and don't stray beyond those 25 yard dashes to Amor Latino, Dulce Gabana, or Chicago Club. Aside from a streetwalker you are deciding upon, don't talk with anybody in the alley until you are inside a bar. Just keep your head down and your eyes on your destination.