Streetwalker Reports

[ClamSlammer]

He made a math error, get over it. Did you ever do that? Did you score 800 on your SAT math?

Like most of us, I appreciate Phord's posts and will continue to look forward to more of them.

When you go on a message board and start arguing with people rudely and act like your smarter than everyone else, at least make sure your mathematics comprehension is at a minimum 2nd grade level. If you don't, then you are an idiot. And PP is most certainly the village idiot in regards to this board. No I didn't score a 800 on my SAT math but I didn't miss any 2nd grade math questions either. Obviously PP is afflicted by a cognitive deficit in which he lacks the mental capacity to discern fantasy from reality. In layman's terms-he talks out of his ass. I'm just trying to protect the forum from the obvious misinformation he posts. He likes to pretend he is an expert and smarter than everyone else when in fact he is completely clueless. Like his assertion that HK has a team of finance gurus that monitor FX rates and adjusts their tipo de cambio in real time. Really? How many times has HK adjusted their rate in the last 5 years? And he claims he is so much smarter than the rest of us that he's never been ripped off in 30 years of going to TJ. The rest of us are dumbasses because we've been cheated every once in a while by a cabbie, mesero, taco stand, etc. When in reality he is the dumbass who is too stupid to realize he's been ripped off. HT if you believe his BS and look forward to his posts then that's your choice. It's admirable to stick up for your buddy. But to say that most on this board appreciate his nonsense is pure conjecture.

[HorseTrader]

... Once on a debate on how much a puta can earn a year he miscalculated by $80 k. That's dollars not pesos.....

He made a math error, get over it. Did you ever do that? Did you score 800 on your SAT math?

Like most of us, I appreciate Phord's posts and will continue to look forward to more of them.

[ClamSlammer]

This loser is wordy and made up a lot of lies.

I hope he saves some breath and can get it up to fuck his old, obese, ugly women in La Mesa.

Captain, it is just best to ignore PP. He is the most idiotic poster here by far. Once on a debate on how much a puta can earn a year he miscalculated by $80 k. That's dollars not pesos. And he claims that HK has a team of finance experts that adjust their tipo de cambio in real time when in fact they may adjust it one or twice every 5 years. And he claims that he's never been ripped off after going to Tijuana for 30 years. LOL. Just hit the IGNORE button to save yourself some grief. Unless you're a fan of comedy then read his posts purely for entertainment value.

[Artisttyp]

Mexican traffic tickets are a fraction of their USA equivalent, and can be paid by mail to a California address.

Does anyone know what happens if you don't pay? Can they get you in California if you don't return to Mexico OR can you have a warrant for your arrest if you do return to Mexico and get stopped again?

[Captain Solo]

This loser is wordy and made up a lot of lies.

I hope he saves some breath and can get it up to fuck his old, obese, ugly women in La Mesa.

[Phordphan]

You quoted only part of my post and used it out of context.

On that date the car had a bad battery and I had to go back to have it replaced, before dealers closed for the weekend. I did not have time to play game with the moto cop, even though I believed I would have gotten off more lightly by seeing the judge.

I believe fines for moving violations in Ensenada have been around 500 pesos. The taxi driver, who was nailed for another violation in the same trip, told me his was 500 pesos. My time in Mexico is valuable. I took the risk seeing the judge in Ensenada and got off with a lower fine, spending less time and having less headache. So I scored. Ensenada cops watch the main downtown drag like hawks. They are strict but I have read that Ensenada tries to be a model town, her cops are clean. Obey traffic rules or you may have to pay.

Visitors to Mexico do have alleged legal protection and some leverage against policias shakedowns. I would suggest the bros to argue the case against the policias, and if time permits, call the bluffs by seeing the judge. Don't just take your pants down and bend over like the cowering contingent, who fucks old ugly slimy women and pick nits in the net.

No, you don't get it both ways. In one post you insist that you were in and out in 15 minutes with the judge slapping your back and grinning. In the other, you were afraid of getting stuck for hours. Which is it? If it's hours you proved my point that the cops know a mark doesn't want to lose a bunch of time dicking around with the cops and judge.

I don't buy the lame-o battery excuse. You begged that cop to take every last dollar you could scrape together. Hell, if the truth were known, you probably offered to blow the guy, too. He probably had better taste and more dignity than you were displaying. Talk about bending over and spreading them.

If you had a clue about traffic fines in Mexico you'd know that moving violations fall into several categories, each with a different fine. Running a red light runs from around 250 pesos to around 800, last time I checked. I am pretty sure they were lower 10 years ago. The cop was doing the right (honest) thing and writing a ticket. You opened your fat mouth and offered a bribe, exposing yourself to arrest. Very stupid thing to do. You didn't save a dime, you wasted time in the station. If you'd have been issued a ticket, regardless of the amount, you would have mailed your fine to an address in California. Don't give us a line of shit about saving time fucking around at the station, trying to talk your way out of a fine, versus paying a measly Mexican traffic ticket by mail.

Now, for those readers who drive, and who can find the sharp end of a pencil, if you're pulled over and the cop begins to issue a ticket, shut the fuck up. Mexican traffic tickets are a fraction of their USA equivalent, and can be paid by mail to a California address. If the cop comes up with some bogus amount (like 3,000 pesos, etc.) or else follow him to the station, he's soliciting a bribe. You now get to decide whether or not you want to negotiate a lower fine or dick around in the station. Bear in mind that the local mordida, these days, is around 200 pesos. Let that be your guide and post your experiences here.

[Captain Solo]

You quoted only part of my post and used it out of context.

On that date the car had a bad battery and I had to go back to have it replaced, before dealers closed for the weekend. I did not have time to play game with the moto cop, even though I believed I would have gotten off more lightly by seeing the judge.

I believe fines for moving violations in Ensenada have been around 500 pesos. The taxi driver, who was nailed for another violation in the same trip, told me his was 500 pesos. My time in Mexico is valuable. I took the risk seeing the judge in Ensenada and got off with a lower fine, spending less time and having less headache. So I scored. Ensenada cops watch the main downtown drag like hawks. They are strict but I have read that Ensenada tries to be a model town, her cops are clean. Obey traffic rules or you may have to pay.

Visitors to Mexico do have alleged legal protection and some leverage against policias shakedowns. I would suggest the bros to argue the case against the policias, and if time permits, call the bluffs by seeing the judge. Don't just take your pants down and bend over like the cowering contingent, who fucks old ugly slimy women and pick nits in the net.

The cop was actually writing a ticket, and yet you tried to bribe him. Brilliant, just fucking brilliant. In 2005 the fine for blowing a stop sign was probably 200 pesos or less. Congratulations on paying far more than you would have, had you kept your mouth shut. You are so lucky that they didn't arrest your sorry ass.

A 15 year old report from Ensenada isn't worth much. About as much as your worthless seafood restaurant recommendations. Why didn't you put this same sage advice to use when the cops jacked you up for cell phone usage a few months ago? Tell us how much that incident cost you. Did the might Captain Bullshit suddenly become a card-carrying member of the Cowering Contingent? Let's let others judge who bends over for the TJ cops. You got pulled over and started to shit your pants, begging for the cop to take whatever money you had left. I'll regurgitate your post here:

[I]$48 propina to Tijuana moto cop...

[Member #4450]

I arrived at a few scientific conclusions based on your posts, that old mongers who prefer bad food and fuck old, fat, ugly, smelly, sweaty Mexican women, tend to have lots of irrational fears, and are more likely to bend over to pleasure the policias.

Please pass the popcorn this is going to get good.

[Member #4450]

Well, actually, some would argue that is does. I've been in and out of Chiang Kai Shek / Taoyuan airport, what, 20 times? More? But I hardly consider myself a Taipei veteran, never having ventured outside of the airport.

Concerning fichas and salidas, pay attention as I'm only going to cover this once more. The girls have a ficha quota. Everybody knows what that is. Usually it's around 10. That policy is instituted in order to keep them hustling overpriced drinks. God forbid the bar didn't make enough money on $8 beers.

The salida amount, whatever it may be, has absolutely no bearing on a girl's ficha quota, nor does it have any bearing on how much the girl may, or may not, earn for the bar during her shift. This is NOT Asia, or other places where one "buys" a girl out of a bar for the night and the bar is "compensated" for the loss of her earnings. Otherwise everybody would be doing it, or the girls would be buying themselves out, or whatever, and the bars would have few girls late in a given shift. Thailand is a good example, where the pretty ones are gone after the first couple of hours of a given shift. Basically, a girl isn't allowed to leave the bar during her shift. However, if some dumb-ass is willing to part with a couple of Bennies, well, he can certainly be accommodated. A 20-year veteran of AB should know all of this by now.

It's not a first. It was a problem back in 2008, or so. I'm not sure how you were getting back to the border from AB back in those days but if your taxi went up Madero from Coahuila, then getting lit up was a distinct possibility. You probably remember that this particular stretch, at that time, was very dark and lonely. If they were after the driver they would have frisked him. They made me exit the car, they searched the seat for hidden / dropped drugs, they made me empty my pockets onto the hood of the cruiser, they searched my person. They then thanked me for being cooperative and left. They didn't take anything because I only had like a $5 bill on me, which was the taxi fare.

You've been mongering around the planet and that makes you a high roller compare to the average weekend monger. I am an average monger I only frequent Tijuana few times a year.

You sir have more experience than me I was just saying not everyone has the same experience with Tijuana cops and I guess the more time you're in Tijuana the more chances of shake downs. I just don't go down there everyday my budget is limited.

Again I've been going to Tijuana for the past 20 years not everyday but I know my way around.

[Phordphan]

This was perhaps back in 2005. I was in Ensenada for a fishing trip.

One afternoon I was driving South on the main street along the malecon. Traffic was light so I ran a stop sign, then found 2 cops sitting in a patrol Sentra waiting on my right. So I did a stop in the middle of the intersection. The cops followed and stopped me. I argued that the stop sign was obscured by the big tree and I could not see it.

The cop asked what hotel I was staying and was going to write a ticket. I suggested that I was willing to pay the fine on the spot. He looked at me with disgust, then took my CA driver license and told me to follow him to the station.

At the station I was told to give the keys to the front desk and was taken to the judge office. The judge was in street clothes, sitting alone in his office with his boots on his desk. No one was waiting. The cop talked rapidly to the judge. I was not sure what he was accusing me of. Finally the judge said, guilty of running stop sign, fine 500 pesos. I was telling him about the big branch obscuring the sign but he did not buy it. Finally I told the judge I was on a fishing trip, I really liked Ensenada, so give me a break. He smiled, nodded his head, said, fine 350 pesos.

I paid 350 peso to the front desk and got my key back. It happened within 10 minutes without waiting. Ensenada has been known as a nice, clean, straight tourist city for the past 10 years. Tijuana may be a little rougher, but I would suggest the bros not to bend over for the policias. If you cannot convince the cop to let you go, you may want to go to the station and argue your case with the judge.

The cop was actually writing a ticket, and yet you tried to bribe him. Brilliant, just fucking brilliant. In 2005 the fine for blowing a stop sign was probably 200 pesos or less. Congratulations on paying far more than you would have, had you kept your mouth shut. You are so lucky that they didn't arrest your sorry ass.

A 15 year old report from Ensenada isn't worth much. About as much as your worthless seafood restaurant recommendations. Why didn't you put this same sage advice to use when the cops jacked you up for cell phone usage a few months ago? Tell us how much that incident cost you. Did the might Captain Bullshit suddenly become a card-carrying member of the Cowering Contingent? Let's let others judge who bends over for the TJ cops. You got pulled over and started to shit your pants, begging for the cop to take whatever money you had left. I'll regurgitate your post here:

$48 propina to Tijuana moto cop


Was driving back at about noon approaching the arc. Saw a moto cop stopping a California car, so was driving very conservatively.

Took the mobile phone out of the pocket to get comfortable, saw the missed calls message, so quickly glance at the screen. Boom! The moto cop was on my ass telling me to pull over. He's the old gruffy guy with a big mustache.

He speaks broken English, telling me I was talking on phone while driving, and to follow him to the station to see a judge with potential 3,000-peso fine. I denied the charge and mention $20. He was shaking his head, mocking me ". Only $20 ? Then told me to follow him to the station. I know any fine would be more like 300 pesos, not 3,000, but I don't need to spend a few hours at the station to see the judge.

He led us back to Coahuila. I was beeping my horn for him to stop. He finally stopped and motioned for me to park across the street from Chicago Club. I told him we had $48 left. He checked out the pile, gesturing and saying too many cameras here. He then asked us to wrap the money in paper and took it. He asked us where we were heading so he could escort us there, presumably to avoid another tickets. He he zipped away from us near the Cathedral on Ninos Heroes. We had to spend half an hour driving around in downtown Tijuana to find the SENTRI lane back to the US.

Damnn I thought I was good. But this is the first time I have been screwed by Tijuana cop and had to give in to their demand.

So, tell us again, Captain Blowhard, about your steel spine and how you stand up to the cops.

[Phordphan]

I 've been going for 20 years I just don't wonder around Tijuana like some do and I stick to AB and the paraditas and Zona Rio. Does this make me a newbie I don't think so.

About vets knowing the ficha amount is BS because no one knows for sure how much is the total they have to make a day everybody guess.

Well, actually, some would argue that is does. I've been in and out of Chiang Kai Shek / Taoyuan airport, what, 20 times? More? But I hardly consider myself a Taipei veteran, never having ventured outside of the airport.

Concerning fichas and salidas, pay attention as I'm only going to cover this once more. The girls have a ficha quota. Everybody knows what that is. Usually it's around 10. That policy is instituted in order to keep them hustling overpriced drinks. God forbid the bar didn't make enough money on $8 beers.

The salida amount, whatever it may be, has absolutely no bearing on a girl's ficha quota, nor does it have any bearing on how much the girl may, or may not, earn for the bar during her shift. This is NOT Asia, or other places where one "buys" a girl out of a bar for the night and the bar is "compensated" for the loss of her earnings. Otherwise everybody would be doing it, or the girls would be buying themselves out, or whatever, and the bars would have few girls late in a given shift. Thailand is a good example, where the pretty ones are gone after the first couple of hours of a given shift. Basically, a girl isn't allowed to leave the bar during her shift. However, if some dumb-ass is willing to part with a couple of Bennies, well, he can certainly be accommodated. A 20-year veteran of AB should know all of this by now.

This is a first, they probably pullover the taxi driver not the passenger. They do stop taxis I've seen it, but usually without passenger.

It's not a first. It was a problem back in 2008, or so. I'm not sure how you were getting back to the border from AB back in those days but if your taxi went up Madero from Coahuila, then getting lit up was a distinct possibility. You probably remember that this particular stretch, at that time, was very dark and lonely. If they were after the driver they would have frisked him. They made me exit the car, they searched the seat for hidden / dropped drugs, they made me empty my pockets onto the hood of the cruiser, they searched my person. They then thanked me for being cooperative and left. They didn't take anything because I only had like a $5 bill on me, which was the taxi fare.

[Captain Solo]

This was perhaps back in 2005. I was in Ensenada for a fishing trip.

One afternoon I was driving South on the main street along the malecon. Traffic was light so I ran a stop sign, then found 2 cops sitting in a patrol Sentra waiting on my right. So I did a stop in the middle of the intersection. The cops followed and stopped me. I argued that the stop sign was obscured by the big tree and I could not see it.

The cop asked what hotel I was staying and was going to write a ticket. I suggested that I was willing to pay the fine on the spot. He looked at me with disgust, then took my CA driver license and told me to follow him to the station.

At the station I was told to give the keys to the front desk and was taken to the judge office. The judge was in street clothes, sitting alone in his office with his boots on his desk. No one was waiting. The cop talked rapidly to the judge. I was not sure what he was accusing me of. Finally the judge said, guilty of running stop sign, fine 500 pesos. I was telling him about the big branch obscuring the sign but he did not buy it. Finally I told the judge I was on a fishing trip, I really liked Ensenada, so give me a break. He smiled, nodded his head, said, fine 350 pesos.

I paid 350 peso to the front desk and got my key back. It happened within 10 minutes without waiting. Ensenada has been known as a nice, clean, straight tourist city for the past 10 years. Tijuana may be a little rougher, but I would suggest the bros not to bend over for the policias. If you cannot convince the cop to let you go, you may want to go to the station and argue your case with the judge.

[Member #4450]

once in a taxi.

This is a first, they probably pullover the taxi driver not the passenger. They do stop taxis I've seen it, but usually without passenger.

[Captain Solo]

When stopping foreigners, policias are more interested in what they carry, not who they are. I have been stopped and searched a few times in Tijuana, but have never been asked to produce my IDs.

If the policias have no laws to arrest people carrying EDs, then how can they use that as leverage to intimidate anyone into giving bribes?

It looks like you belong to the Cowering Contigent who are overly fearful of policias and would submit to their harassment.

I arrived at a few scientific conclusions based on your posts, that old mongers who prefer bad food and fuck old, fat, ugly, smelly, sweaty Mexican women, tend to have lots of irrational fears, and are more likely to bend over to pleasure the policias.

Another comment from the Clueless Contingent.

The cops don't ARREST one for carrying stuff, they use it to intimidate the unwitting into coughing up a bribe. The issue one has to decide is whether or not it's worth hours of one's time in Tijuana to fuck around with seeing a judge, etc. , or paying the bribe. The cops know this and take advantage of it.

Please discuss the well-trained and well-paid cops you know. In fact, how much do you know? 57% of the Tijuana cops make less than $1,000 per month. Until recently they had to buy their own uniforms and boots. Maybe this is well-paid in your book, but most think it's pretty dismal. Would you face narco violence, beheading, etc. , for that kind of money?

They never ask foreigners for ID? What the hell are you smoking? Each and every time I've been stopped I've been asked for ID. When stopped while driving I've also been made to produced the car's registration, as well as a valid driver's license (a passport won't do in that situation). In Mexico one is required to have ID on one's person all the time, locals and foreigners alike.

Lastly, in order to further the collective knowledge of this board, how many times have you, personally, sought justice from the judge at the station? How long did it take you to get said justice?

[Member #4450]

I admit that I don't have your breadth of experience, as I've only been going south for, maybe, 15 years. But some of your posts do give the impression of a newbie. Long-time veterans know that a girl's ficha quota and a bar's salida fee aren't related. Long-time veterans know about Madona's, Bambi, Beverly Hills, Caesar's, and all the other Revu strip clubs which have come and gone in the last couple of decades. So, forgive some of the posters for not recognizing your veteranhood.

I 've been going for 20 years I just don't wonder around Tijuana like some do and I stick to AB and the paraditas and Zona Rio. Does this make me a newbie I don't think so.

About vets knowing the ficha amount is BS because no one knows for sure how much is the total they have to make a day everybody guess.

Every individual had a diferent experience. Just like a driving record You can be driving for 30 years and have all kind of shit including accidents, DUIs, arrests, and parking tickets, I've been driving for 32 years including commercial and motorcycle with zero accidents and a perfect driving record is this mean I am lucky or a very good driver. I don't think It has nothing to do with luck, is all about avoiding situations and places where can get you in trouble.

I've seen the bad monger and the good monger, I know a few Tijuana visitors like myself they been going to Tijuana for many many years but never got a shake down.

Some people are like magnets for the cops doesn't matter if you're in Mexico or the US. I am not lucky I am a law abiding and I don't wonder outside the zona it worked for me for 20 years. Only place I feel comfortable outside the zona Norte is Zona Rio.

A going solo Gringo in Tijuana is always a target for the cops because you're not in Cancun or Mazatlan on a beach vacation they know why you're there either for sex or to buy drugs. Who ever tell you different is full of shit. I met a Gringo walking toward Tijuana and I say what's up going to see the girls, and he replied NO I am going for the fish tacos. LOL I said sure you are.