Dubai Reports

[Poonhound69]

Hedonist,

Thanks for sharing the funny chat. Glad you had a decent experience. Repeat customers get a much better experience. Make some effort to learn some of the language and change the atmosphere. I dont get mechanical experiences.

Handy hints.

1) I catch the houses early when they have just been formed or when they have just moved, so they are low traffic.

This is relatively easy to do if you keep loose tabs on them online. I visit only early in the day when I have a good chance of being first.

2) I either bring a 15 dirham bedsheet (which I leave with the girl for next time) or I fuck standing up.

3) I have soap, towels and bottled water in my gym bag, as theirs is quite often scalding in the bathroom.

4) Korean is always chinese. Thai is thai or viet. Philipina is usually Indonesian unless old and fat. Currently I stick to exclusively viet joints as they are young, pretty and not jaded.

5) I insist on showers before for all. I have never been refused

6) Maintain a party atmosphere with music, dancing, joking and snacks.

7) I only fuck under 25 slim booby girls with pretty faces and big smiles.

8) Frequently repeat a girl and add a second.

9) I negotiate brutally with the house but always give the girl a small tip. Most of their customers don't tip. Large tips have been counterproductive.

10) In case of mattress on the floor joints, I kick the manager out of his bed and take his room.

The other hints I shared on PM.

PH69, thanks for the pointers. I managed to find one of those Chines / Vietnamese houses. An Asian chat software has been useful to find contacts. Picked one that was a bit pricier (in Vietnamese *****house standards) but had considerably more beautiful girls. This particular one was in Deira.

Language barrier can be a good thing sometimes. Here is an excerpt from my chat session with the pimp:


Me: Many places offer 200 dhr per hour. I hate negotiating for pussy but will you accept 300? 400 is too much.

Pimp: Sorry. Cannot.

Me: How about 350?

Pimp: 500 last. 2 hours.

Me: OK. I come.

This was second most seedy experience in my mongering career. Most seedy was in Phnom Penh. In short, from the building to the sheets everything was dirty. All of the girls were quite doable and cheerful despite their awful living conditions. I picked a girl who claimed to be Korean and later figured out that she is Chinese. Second girl was Thai.

Service was alright but sort of mechanical with both girls. Cannot blame them. I was their fourth customer and it was only 3 pm.

If you just need to want to dump your cum into a relatively beautiful girl and don't care about GFE, hygene, etc then these houses could be a relatively cheap option. If you are gourmet, you better skip.

[Korvet]

What a brilliant report. Needs to be in the archives of Reports of Distinction. As much for style and wit as for content. The above comment was priceless!

Have fun be safe.

Cheers.

Thanks, Golfer. High praise from you. Look forward to the next visit and more ribald tales of lusty adventure and cookies.

[Korvet]

Mainly frequent AMPS myself, but having just read your tour of duty, I might venture out a bit more.

Surprised at the lowish ratings for Filipina MILF A. Defo one I might repeat a session again with.

Gron.

Thanks, G.

Absolutely nothing bad to say about Ms. A, the Filipina Princess of PSE. She is a high-quality catch. My scoring tends to be a bit lower than some. After 35 years in the game, sampling everything from back alley Korean grannies to out of work film actresses, takes a bit to hit either end of the scale for me.

I give her a strong recommend.

[Korvet]

I always took you as the gentleman farmer type.

So the Filipina roommates.

Chatted them both up a bit. They were a little downcast, as most of the gents at the club had a lass or two on their arms already.

Story from each was they worked at a beauty shop and were all off the next day (Sunday). Only had two days a month off, so tried to make the most of it. Lot's of 'I love to go to the (Dubai) mall. The food court is so good. I love to go shopping and to movies. If only I had someone to take me. ".

I think either would have been happy to become Mrs. Korvet for the evening, but their big Nigerian friend 'marked' me first and was pretty strident in claiming her prize.

As it was. Ms. Nigeria was on me like a Kardashian and cake factory, grabbing my hand with a GI Joe Kung Fu grip, and brushing her ample bosom / belly against every part of my body from my shoulders to calves. In all honesty, had I partaken in alcohol her charms might have held me and I would have had to eaten my left arm off to escape on the morning. As it was, I told her that I had recently eaten some camel, had to make an explosive deposit in the water closet, and would she mind waiting for a moment. Once out of the room I paid a body double to pretend to be Korvet and escape out a side door. Not sure what ever happened to the lad.

In all events, and applying my highly-developed monger analytical skills, suspect they were ordinary girls down for a little light freelance action: we'll have fun tonight, tomorrow you buy me some KFC and 799 AED in cosmetics and shoes.

Cheaper than a chicken farm and might have considered one of the Filipinas (they were both 20 somethings and 6's or so). Was not sure I'd make it out of Ms. Nigeria's clutches, especially after experiencing Korvet's manly charms.

Excellent report Korvet.

If you want to split the investment my offer to provide poultry and eggs to her chicken farm still stands.

Couldn't find an appropriate euphemism about nail farms so won't be lending a hand.

Did you hit on the fair filipina roommates at all? Birds of a feather and all.

When you both go on that camel ride, please ask her to leave the strapon at home.

Enjoy the burqas and Hit me up on your way back.

-pH.

[Hedonist]

PH69, thanks for the pointers. I managed to find one of those Chines / Vietnamese houses. An Asian chat software has been useful to find contacts. Picked one that was a bit pricier (in Vietnamese *****house standards) but had considerably more beautiful girls. This particular one was in Deira.

Language barrier can be a good thing sometimes. Here is an excerpt from my chat session with the pimp:

Me: Hi!

Pimp: Hi, we have 12 lady from Thailand, Korea, Japan, Indonesia. Price 400 dirhams / hour. Which country you from?

Me: I am from.

Pimp: Ok, you come now.

Me: Is there valet parking in your hotel?

Pimp: No hotel. Come here (map attached) and call me ok.

Me: I think 400 is too much. What is the price if I take 2 hours?

Pimp: 700 dhr last.

Me: Many places offer 200 dhr per hour. I hate negotiating for pussy but will you accept 300? 400 is too much.

Pimp: Sorry. Cannot.

Me: How about 350?

Pimp: 500 last. 2 hours.

Me: OK. I come.

This was second most seedy experience in my mongering career. Most seedy was in Phnom Penh. In short, from the building to the sheets everything was dirty. All of the girls were quite doable and cheerful despite their awful living conditions. I picked a girl who claimed to be Korean and later figured out that she is Chinese. Second girl was Thai.

Service was alright but sort of mechanical with both girls. Cannot blame them. I was their fourth customer and it was only 3 pm.

If you just need to want to dump your cum into a relatively beautiful girl and don't care about GFE, hygene, etc then these houses could be a relatively cheap option. If you are gourmet, you better skip.

[Member #4551]

Mainly frequent AMPS myself, but having just read your tour of duty, I might venture out a bit more.

Surprised at the lowish ratings for Filipina MILF A. Defo one I might repeat a session again with.

Gron.

[Wicked Roger]

LOL. Thanks for the advice. Hopefully not based on personal experience!

Please check PM.

No but a friend was caught in Dubai with a double headed dildo and a large rabbit vibe which was taken from his bag in full view and held up by the customs men. He said was for his wife (which was true partially) but alas was not allowed to keep it. So he borrowed my bag of tricks as did his wife who was always up for threesomes and group sex with like minded boring people LOL.

Will wait your PM.

[FantasticMax]

I saw in the news that Lindsey Lohan is living in Dubai. How much you want to bet she's working as a high end escort?

Where does a guy go to find chicks like that here, because I'd love to live out a fantasy of mine with her in that slutty Santa costume from Mean Girls? I'm guessing you need to know some very special phone numbers, or have friends in high places that can get you into some very private clubs.

[Golfer12]

And don't say " for my personal use" as they may make you show how or ask you to go to the office and they can use on you to prove it is personal LOL.

LOL. Thanks for the advice. Hopefully not based on personal experience!

Please check PM.

[Golfer12]

First trip to Dubai as a single man in a year, after messy breakups with long time Viet and Ugandan GFs. Cannot confirm or deny that may have involved promise to buy a nail salon and a chicken farm.

"She made my roll of quarters sized unit look like Dirk Diggler's after being stung by a swarm of jellyfish.
Happy Mongering!

Korvet.

What a brilliant report. Needs to be in the archives of Reports of Distinction. As much for style and wit as for content. The above comment was priceless!

Have fun be safe.

Cheers.

[Poonhound69]

Excellent report Korvet.

If you want to split the investment my offer to provide poultry and eggs to her chicken farm still stands.

Couldn't find an appropriate euphemism about nail farms so won't be lending a hand.

Did you hit on the fair filipina roommates at all? Birds of a feather and all.

When you both go on that camel ride, please ask her to leave the strapon at home.

Enjoy the burqas and Hit me up on your way back.

-pH.

First trip to Dubai as a single man in a year, after messy breakups with long time Viet and Ugandan GFs. Cannot confirm or deny that may have involved promise to buy a nail salon and a chicken farm.

Was working a meet with a fellow monger who shall remain nameless but whose moniker sounds like SpoonPunter but timing didn't work out. Did however exchange some hilarious texts. Very funny guy. Look forward to connecting next round.

She was there with two fair looking Filli roommates. Out of curiosity

Next round was another MR champion, Filipina MILF Angela. Look for Asians performing anal on MR. You will find her. Damages were 1500, including taxi. Most I have spent on a single WG in my whole time as a monger. If not for the great experience the day before their would have been a hall of fame outing. As was, still earned an 'A. ".

Advertises as GFE but only true if your GF is a porn star. Was a genuine PSE. Two of us have a date to ride a camel next visit.
0 chicken farms purchased.

1 date to visit temples in Chaing Mai.

1 date to go camel riding.

Not bad.

Happy Mongering!

Korvet.

[Korvet]

First trip to Dubai as a single man in a year, after messy breakups with long time Viet and Ugandan GFs. Cannot confirm or deny that may have involved promise to buy a nail salon and a chicken farm.

Anyway, as Viet will be there until end of month and Uganda end of year, decided to strike out for new locations that would reduce chance of me being stuffed in a Dubai dumpster. First order was to look for a wingman. Was working a meet with a fellow monger who shall remain nameless but whose moniker sounds like SpoonPunter but timing didn't work out. Did however exchange some hilarious texts. Very funny guy. Look forward to connecting next round.

Next was to pick targets. Was determined to not hook up with a Ugandan or Viet. And had a taste for something new. Recent side dishes had been Nigerian and was also set against that.

Night One: Strange New Worlds.

First stop was Ratskys. A Dubai landmark, had never been there and had a taste for Filli, so. Is a good sized club; larger than many. Took a few minutes to get oriented. Staff will immediately try to seat you in area next to door. It is the last place you want to be for a hook up, as the vast majority of girls are by the bar. Finally wandered up there and had a couple preliminary chats with some of the girls. Sadly, best looking ones seemed focused on introducing me to their less pretty and much older sisters. It is Racism I Say! Ok, maybe not but eventually found that reason many were doing this is that I look (very) remotely Arab, and they were afraid I would inflict all sorts of perversions on them (which is probably true) so they were kicking over to more desperate lasses. Alas, was not my cup of tea and departed. Will probably visit again. About 3 girls per monger.

Planned to go to Mirchi at Manhattan next. Another landmark I passed over before. But... Driver didn't seem to understand Manhattan and brought be to Mirchi at Ramee hotel. What the hell. Give it a try. Was the Star Wars cantina scene: packed full of Indo-Pak customers and girls with a handful of Iranians in the mix. Crappy layout for a bar and connecting with the lasses, who congregate around the shisha pipes on the edge of the room. Think of the place as a donut: middle is a square wrap-around bar, top and left side shisha, right a dance floor, and bottom entrance / exit. Booming Bollywood music aside place had the same feel as a lot of the non-tourist WG clubs in Tijuana. Only one offer there. Came as I was leaving. Very doable Iranian took me by the hand and started chatting me up. Got along well until she started trying to speak to me in Arabic (started in Farsi but she wanted to impress). She became less interested when she found I wasn't Arab (Racism I Say! Ok. Maybe not).

Decided to try Filli prospects again and took taxi to Club 7 at Kris Kin. Place is huge and packed. Must have been 200+ people. Very few looked to be obvious WGs. Did meet a few freelancers at bar. Was tackled almost immediately by the biggest most Nigerian woman I have ever met. So much for no Nigerians. She was there with two fair looking Filli roommates. Out of curiosity, I started business probings but became clear right away she was not looking for a business proposition. Was looking for a straight 'non-business' hook up (with breakfast, taxi money, and maybe a trip to Zara's at the Dubai Mall). Would have considered but she was 10 years and 30 pounds outside my range.

So. Down to an hour before clubs close.

Head to Seaview. An old reliable place, but one I was avoiding because both Ms Uganda and the Viet both go there from time to time. Anyway, little head overruled big head and off I went. Place was almost empty. Half dozen Viets and 2 Africans. One African was one I met during Ramadan but didn't have time to pursue because had a flight to catch. She offered all night for 600. Deal was done and we were on our way to my hotel.

Stay at the same place in But Dubai every visit. Reliably green for me. Never stopped when taking someone in before 10 PM. They copy IDs after 10. Always tip bellhop when brings bags in on arrival. Has paid dividends over the years and staff all know me an my multiple 'wives. ' One requirement is be sure to book double occupancy. Couple bucks more but worth it. PM if want more details. Place is in walking distance of York, Manhattan (if you don't mind a walk), and Astoria.

The dirt:

Showered with my African de jour. A young (discovered she was 18.) Nigerian. Fair menu for sometimes conservative Africans. LFK, DATY, OWC, variety of positions. Was a 'C' performance. Main plus was she (literally) had the body of an 18 year old. Chica's name is same as Tom Sawyer's girlfriend.

Face: 7.

Body: 7. 5.

Tits: 7 (34 cs).

Ass: Rock hard 7. 5.

Performance: 5.

Attitude: 5 (2) *.

* So agreed to 600 for night and did two rounds, then her manager started calling non-stop. Tried napping but was woken up every 5 minutes as Ms. Nigeria and her boss had a loud argument (that Ms. N felt I needed to hear on speaker phone). Gave her some money for taxi and sent her on her way, hoping to get some sleep.

WIR: You have sex with one hard bodied 18 year old Nigerian you've had sex with them all. Would not repeat but give a soft recommendation if you want something inexpensive and don't mind late night telephonic drama.

Day 2: Wow. Just Wow. She had me at "I make my anal clean for you honey".

So decided to test the Massage Republic Waters. Taking my MR virginity was a Thai lass whose name I will withhold for purely selfish reasons (will share with select Seniors if PM, but want to hold on to this gem).

Agreed to outcall at my hotel. 2 hours, including anal. 800 AED.

Set up over what's up. Easy date. Contacted her in the morning. Date was the afternoon.

Face was average. Probably a Thai 4. But was tiny, tiny, tiny. About 4'11 and could not have been more than 80 lbs. Amazing OWO and deep throat. She said "cum in my mouth ok but more like you cum all over face. " So... passed on that because was more interested in the other openings, but money in the bank. Enjoyed fantastic CG and Asian CG then she rolled onto her side for deep anal. Finished in anal mish, two fingers in her pussy as I was doing her ass. Did I say how tiny she was? She made my roll of quarters sized unit look like Dirk Diggler's after being stung by a swarm of jellyfish. Just an amazing experience. Easily top 3 oral and anal experiences in 30+ years of mongering. This one is a keeper. Looking at spending a week with her in Thailand in a month or two. Receive super sweet what's up notes and pics couple times a day.

Face: 4.

Body: 2 or 11, depending on your tastes. If you like waifs, she is a dream. Need full bodied women. Best move on.

Tits: 2 or 11 (32 A. Maybe). One of the smallest racks I have seen. As I like that, big bonus points from me. If you are a breast man you will love the eraser tip nipples, but they are almost as big as the entire breast.

Ass: 2 or 11 (tiny, tiny, tiny. Not flat, but wow. Tiny).

Performance: 10.

Attitude: 10+.

WIR: Yes. This may be the next Mrs. Korvet.

Day 3: Korvet adds a layer to his double stuffed oreo.

Next round was another MR champion, Filipina MILF Angela. Look for Asians performing anal on MR. You will find her. Damages were 1500, including taxi. Most I have spent on a single WG in my whole time as a monger. If not for the great experience the day before their would have been a hall of fame outing. As was, still earned an 'A. ".

Angie is older. Claims 39. Which is probably close, but is fit and has a great full body on a small frame. Also super friendly personality, despite wanting to sodomize me with her strap on (she was kind enough to cease when made clear that korvet is a giver, not a receiver). Everything was on the table. She is a fan of rimming. Didn't deep throat but gave a very respectable sloppy owo. Anal in multiple positions, but about 75% in anal CG, which was fun to watch. Took a hard and deep pounding with a smile.

Advertises as GFE but only true if your GF is a porn star. Was a genuine PSE. Two of us have a date to ride a camel next visit.

Face: 5 (but eyes are an 8).

Body: 7.

Tits: 7. 5 (34-36 cs).

Ass: Full Filipina ass 7. 5.

Performance: 10.

Attitude: 10.

WIR: Yes, but not frequently. Strong recommendation if you have a taste for a Filipina MILF PSE and have money to burn.

Day 3 (Part Two): Korvet completes his cookie.

So pretty spent after two hours with Angie, was set to have dinner and a couple drinks, then call it a night before flying out the next day.

Early evening received a what's up from a Nigerian who had been flirting with during Ms. Uganda days. Pulled back when she became stalkerish. Anyway, "Hey honey, my friend (who has the same name as Tom Sawyer's girlfriend) told me you were in town. Can you come and see me at Astoria?" Ok, so why not?

Arrived at Astoria around 9:30 pm. Place was packed with WGs. Easily 5 or 6 to one customer. All flavors. African. Asia. East Euro. Indo-Pak. All desperate for a hook up.

Girl showed a few minutes later. "I'm hungry. Will you take me and my friend to KFC?" Why not.

After chicken, Ms. Nigeria 2.0 (whose name is a precious metal) said bye to her girlfriend (who has the same name as a moon goddess or deceased Mexican-American singer). Agreed to 500 AED for night.

So. Ms. Nigeria 2.0 is a little crazy. Not bad crazy, but really looking for something more than business. Sex was good, but different. She was very reluctant to do anything oral but straight sex was ok (and ok). Crazy thing was most of the night was spent doing kind of extended foreplay stuff I did as a 15 year old kid. Not your typical hook up. She rode to the airport with me in the morning.

Face: 7. 5 (nice smile).

Body: 7. 5.

Tits: 8. 5 (34 Cs. One of best natural sets I have ever seen in Dubai).

Ass: Rock hard 8.

Performance: 7.

Attitude: 7.

WIR: Maybe. Still trying to get my head around this one. Would however recommend. She is a steal at 500 AED just for her body. Friendly if a little odd, was a firecracker during foreplay. Got the vibe that would not take much for the walls of inhibition to come crashing down. Be nice to this one and will pay off.

So by the Numbers:

3 days.

4 girls.

2 Nigerian.

1 Thai.

1 Filipina.

2 anal adventures.

9 pops.

3 new clubs visited.

1 new ATF.

3300 AED spent.

0 chicken farms purchased.

1 date to visit temples in Chaing Mai.

1 date to go camel riding.

Not bad.

Happy Mongering!

Korvet.

[Wicked Roger]

No penalty other than acute embarrassment. If spotted they take it out of your luggage and put in on the table and ask what is it for in full view of passing passengers!

And don't say " for my personal use" as they may make you show how or ask you to go to the office and they can use on you to prove it is personal LOL.

[Dark Knite]

Ratskys? I was there recently with Joe K and the quality is poor IMHO but I am struggling to remember the other club in a hotel close to Ratskys, likely remember when I am on the plane leaving Duabi LOL.

We also went to Tantra in the Karama hotel. Very quiet, but the girl singers (well one) was very nice.

Generally in clubs like Seven you an A game to talk and make the pinays smile and laugh without coming across as a horny old toad. That can be hard for some of us I appreciateLOL.

Finally got the chance to check out Ratskys for the first time. Totally agree with your assessment. Besides the poor or let's say mediocre quality, they were all PROs on visit visa with mama-san in the corner. So you don't get the friendliness and innocence of the semi-pros that used to stop by Seaview a couple of times a week for some extra income.

While on the subject, one of them who seemed most doable, asked that donation needed to be handed to mama-san on the spot. That was a NO NO. I wonder if any of you have passed donation in the club and ended up getting scammed.

[Golfer12]

There's no penalty, confiscation utmost. No worries, you can just bring it into the country. Chance of it being found is small. And if it is found, you can just leave it with them and off you go.

Unless you bring in commercial quantities.

No penalty other than acute embarrassment. If spotted they take it out of your luggage and put in on the table and ask what is it for in full view of passing passengers!