American Politics

[Travv]

"Washington, the. See. —As more and more Americans start wondering where the $2,000 stimulus checks Joe Biden promised are, especially as he's now decided to start meddling in Syria, Biden issued a statement today clarifying that the stimulus checks were "just an idea."

"The stimulus checks, see, they're just an idea," he said, shrugging off claims that the stimulus checks were supposed to be actual checks sent to Americans. "They're more of a metaphor. You might say the real stimulus checks were just the countries we bombed along the way, Jack. The real stimulus checks, ya see, they were inside us all along."

"You there, the grrr-- the girl with the pretty hair," he said, gesturing toward a reporter in the front row. "You're a stimulus check. And you, the guy with the mustache -- you're a stimulus check. In a way, all of us are stimulus checks when we live according to the American values of love, progress, and unity. We can all become the stimulus checks we wish to see in the world."

Biden's statement brought everyone in the room to tears, and Snopes quickly fact-checked his claim that the stimulus checks were never intended to be literal but were always "just an idea" as "double-plus true."

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-cl...e-just-an-idea SATIRE.

[ShooBree]

Interesting article about Andrew Cuomo.

https://www.google.se/amp/s/www.bbc....anada-56120500

[ScatManDoo]

https://www.foxnews.com/politics/tru...-speech-report

And from the comments section. LOL.

"Has he gotten any new material or is this more of a greatest hits tour? Build the wall, drain the swamp, lock her up, stop the steal. Ahhh the classics." KnewRepublic.

Did he get Mexico to pay for the family cages that were installed in Walmarts?

[Paulie97]

https://www.foxnews.com/politics/tru...-speech-report

And from the comments section. LOL.

"Has he gotten any new material or is this more of a greatest hits tour? Build the wall, drain the swamp, lock her up, stop the steal. Ahhh the classics." KnewRepublic.

[Travv]

Heart warming divorce lawyer story.

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass. " "Well, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there eating grass under that tree. " "Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the second poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also. " The other man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!" "Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you. ".

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high. ".

Come on, Man! . . . did you really think there was such a thing as a heart-warming lawyer story? Look at Congress -- over 300 Lawyers! Biden is a lawyer and if you are hungry, come on over to his mansion. He has a big lawn with lots of grass that needs trimming! LOL.

"Biden Will Be First Lawyer-President Without a JD From the 'T-14' in a Century" Joe Biden earned his law degree from Syracuse University College of Law in 1968, while Kamala Harris graduated from the University of California Hastings College of the Law in 1989. By Karen Sloan.

January 19,2021 at 04:30 PM.

This is insane, I would have to pay $1,260 for a full tank of gas. I'd be losing more money then I make so it wouldn't even be worth it to work. This would completely destroy our economy the average person still can't even afford electric cars and they are not sustainable either way.

[John Clayton]

This is insane, I would have to pay $1,260 for a full tank of gas. I'd be losing more money then I make so it wouldn't even be worth it to work. This would completely destroy our economy the average person still can't even afford electric cars and they are not sustainable either way.

https://babylonbee.com/ obviously, is a satire news site.

[TonyMontanaaO7]

Biden Announces Ambitious Goal Of $100 Per Gallon Gas By End Of First 100 Days In Office.

"Washington, D. C. In spite of Democrats' best efforts to curb the use of fossil fuels, stubborn Americans continue to use them to power their automobiles and heat their homes. Biden is responding to this crisis with an ambitious new plan to raise the price of gas to $100 per gallon by the end of his first 100 days in office to fight global warming.

"Listen-- all these fossil fuels, they got to stop! Got to stop!" Biden said to the Secret Service agent pumping gas into his presidential limo. "We got to do something about these selfish Americans and one-horse kangaroo herders burning all these fuels without consequences. I know consequences. Just ask Corn Pop and his buddies. When I'm done with 'them, these Americans will never burn a gallon of gas again, Jack!

The administration has announced the "Gas Prices To The Mooooon" campaign-- a series of executive orders designed to drive the price of fuel up to make it unattainable to anyone except John Kerry.

When confronted with the question of how Americans will afford to get around with $100-per-gallon gas, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi suggested they stay home and eat some ice cream instead.

Currently, the average price stands at $2.53 per gallon and rising, which experts say is likely Trump's fault. . ."

Humor: https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-an...days-in-office.

This is insane, I would have to pay $1,260 for a full tank of gas. I'd be losing more money then I make so it wouldn't even be worth it to work. This would completely destroy our economy the average person still can't even afford electric cars and they are not sustainable either way.

[John Clayton]

Biden Announces Ambitious Goal Of $100 Per Gallon Gas By End Of First 100 Days In Office.

Humor: https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-an...days-in-office.

Doesn't really matter what your political opinion is, how you voted, what news shows you watch -- combustion engines are finished. Ten years from now, gas cars will be like film cameras. As far as the price of gas, it absolutely doesn't matter what Biden does, the (near) long term price of oil is only going one way -- that's down.

[Travv]

Biden Announces Ambitious Goal Of $100 Per Gallon Gas By End Of First 100 Days In Office.

"Washington, D. C. —In spite of Democrats' best efforts to curb the use of fossil fuels, stubborn Americans continue to use them to power their automobiles and heat their homes. Biden is responding to this crisis with an ambitious new plan to raise the price of gas to $100 per gallon by the end of his first 100 days in office to fight global warming.

"Listen-- all these fossil fuels, they got to stop! Got to stop!" Biden said to the Secret Service agent pumping gas into his presidential limo. "We got to do something about these selfish Americans and one-horse kangaroo herders burning all these fuels without consequences. I know consequences. Just ask Corn Pop and his buddies. When I'm done with 'them, these Americans will never burn a gallon of gas again, Jack!

The administration has announced the "Gas Prices To The Mooooon" campaign-- a series of executive orders designed to drive the price of fuel up to make it unattainable to anyone except John Kerry.

When confronted with the question of how Americans will afford to get around with $100-per-gallon gas, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi suggested they stay home and eat some ice cream instead.

Currently, the average price stands at $2.53 per gallon and rising, which experts say is likely Trump's fault. . ."

Humor: https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-an...days-in-office.

[PVMonger]

There's a sucker born every minute.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...ues-money-back

"Stupid is as stupid does."

[Paulie97]

There's a sucker born every minute.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...ues-money-back

[Ctytek]

Ignore the clueless child. As I said before, nothing he posts here has any value.

Why are you bringing up liberals in the United States? This crime happened in Mexico and is under the jurisdiction of Mexican courts. The only way a US court could try to claim jurisdiction is if the attacker and the victim are both American. There may be statutes out there that allow the US feds to also file charges like when they catch Americans abroad hooking up with minors, but so far it looks like the US will mostly stay out of this case.

And just to be clear to the readers out there, this Dogers69 guy also previously complained about San Diego California being a high crime dangerous city which is not even close to being true. San Diego is one of the safest cities in the US. Dogers69 also complained about the weather in San Diego when San Diego literally is regarded as having the best weather in the whole United States.

Dogers69 is known for making outlandish claims that don't seem to be grounded in reality or logic.

[Jinxx]

Well it's a clear cut case. If he only gets 10 years in prison God help us all. Between covid, liberals defund prison cops mandate, maybe he gets 5 years. 5 years ago I would say he gets 20. United states certainly has changed a lot since covid arrived, majority politically active people (rioters, looters, killers, cancel culture) are definitely anti locking people up long term even for murder.

Why are you bringing up liberals in the United States? This crime happened in Mexico and is under the jurisdiction of Mexican courts. The only way a US court could try to claim jurisdiction is if the attacker and the victim are both American. There may be statutes out there that allow the US feds to also file charges like when they catch Americans abroad hooking up with minors, but so far it looks like the US will mostly stay out of this case.

And just to be clear to the readers out there, this Dogers69 guy also previously complained about San Diego California being a high crime dangerous city which is not even close to being true. San Diego is one of the safest cities in the US. Dogers69 also complained about the weather in San Diego when San Diego literally is regarded as having the best weather in the whole United States.

Dogers69 is known for making outlandish claims that don't seem to be grounded in reality or logic.

[WombatEd2]

Here we go again with another misinformed individual on the "Big Lie" ticket. Biden is not going to defund the police. As a matter of fact, he is going to invest more in police. Do your homework and don't start spreading that Trump and Republican "Big Lie" BS with us.

Is an Atheist allowed to say "Amen!"?

[BigButtDetecto]

Well it's a clear cut case. If he only gets 10 years in prison God help us all. Between covid, liberals defund prison cops mandate, maybe he gets 5 years. 5 years ago I would say he gets 20. United states certainly has changed a lot since covid arrived, majority politically active people (rioters, looters, killers, cancel culture) are definitely anti locking people up long term even for murder.

Lies. Where did you get that from?