Chat Rooms & Pen Pals

[Delbert]

Utang na loob, debt of the heart, its pinoys family safety-net for when one does good, but it always seems to be one way traffic and never reciprocated.

[Marconista]

in the RP, and I fail to understand how the guys end up with the scammers.

OK - a few has asked me for gifts and money, especially now that it is Christmas, but overall - I dont find this as a problem.

During my, about 15 years, visits to the country I have mainly good memories from being with the ladies that love sex and cuddling more than any other ladies on this planet.

Happy New Year Gentlemen, and I hope you all will be able to get in to more panties of the yummy ladies of this beautiful country. I just love it when here. Masarap :)

[Cunning Stunt]

Much as I applaud Rgbburn for his honesty and understand his desire for revenge on the girl that strung him along, at the end of the day, it serves mainly as a cathartic emotional vent for him rather than as a timely warning for the rest of the forum. For either you get it, develop it from bitter experience or it will always be lost on you. What is 'it'? It is that you must assume that a Filipina is not telling the truth if her lips are moving. That might sound cynical but I assure you that I have had 25 years of exposure to Pinays and Thai's (same general mindset), so have had plenty of time and experience to form my opinions. I refer specifically, of course, to P4P girls met in bars or girls who are selling themselves in a slightly diferrent way in online chat rooms or dating sites. For they are not animated, cuddly, brainless sex toys (amazing how many guys view them in this light) but are canny, cunning schemers with an agenda of their own in which you are seen merely as their walking ATM machine to fund their escape plans. The sooner guys realize this and plan accordingly, the better it will be for their emotional and financial health.

So until men stop being led by that little deceiver tucked in their own pants (probably never), they will continue to fall for the line of that lovely asian femme fatale deceiver whose pants they are just itching to get into. Rggburns girl will, no doubt, easily find other suckers to con, for, as they say, and never was it more true, there is one born every minute. And members on forums like this will continue to bump their gums as to the wicked, scheming, deceitful ways of these girls. And Eve tempted Adam and blah, blah, sermonise, blah. And fools will continue falling for tired, old lines that they don't really believe.

And so the cycle continues, ad infinitum.

[Warbucks]

The last eight women in a row that have come on my screen have asked me for money. In response, I have been overtly rude. Has this now become the national industry? Almost all of them were met through FH.

Be careful guys some board members don’t like you talking bad about the girls too much for example.

Wow, DW, I find myself wondering why you are a member of this site. All you do is wine and tell how bad the ladies are. Just wondering why are you here on ISG?

Not trying to start a war, just asking?

Thanks
Robb

I rest my case.

[Puerto La Cruz]

The last eight women in a row that have come on my screen have asked me for money. In response, I have been overtly rude. Has this now become the national industry? Almost all of them were met through FH.

[GoodEnough]

An interesting discussion about a subject that I think no Westerner will ever understand. Having been here for more than five years now, I know I don't and the more I see the less I seem to understand. My take on this entire thing is that I would never get involved with a Filipina who felt some sort of obligation to "help" her family with my money. It would be a no-go from the start.

I'm fortunate, in that my asawa feels no obligation toward relatives, extended relatives, neighborhood acquaintances or anyone from her former life and turns a cold, unambivalent shoulder toward all such requests. Her attitude is pretty much summed up by the "What the hell did you ever do for me when I needed help?" perspective, and I applaud it. Remember that these "desperate" relatives, friends, acquaintances, sycophants and parasites are all talking behind her back about your relationship no matter what she does, since that's pretty much the way things work here.

In my view, if you don't mind spending a little money to help someone, help some kids go to school who could not otherwise afford to do so. At least the kids are always blameless and may be able to derive some real benefit from the money you spend. Remember too that the family managed to survive before you came along and it will continue to do so whether you're there or not.

The whole concept of "utang na loob" is, as far as I'm concerned, a bunch of pap fed by parents to children to ensure that the parents will be taken care of in their old age--the more kids, the more economic security for the parents and the less they'll have to exert themselves. Funny that the parents seem to have no reciprocal obligations to the kids regarding education, decent nutrition or much of anything else.

GE

[Hairy Wonder]

The larger question is whether the Filipino system of borrowing from extended relations (blood relatives, neighbors, godparents, etc.) is a necessary socio-economic safety net, a cultural plague that encourages leeches, or both. I think foreigners need to be aware of this dynamic, especially if they plan on marrying a Filipina.

I learned a good deal about what seems to be the Pinay attitude from my Filipina girlfriend while she was working abroad. She would tell me things (probably not everything) that her friends would say to her when they found out she and I were together. Most of the time, it was "get money from him," or "tell him to buy you lots of expensive things." Some of them went as far as telling her to take advantage of me, and find other guys to take advantage of at the same time. I don't believe that she followed their advice, because she never tried to get excessive amounts of money, or expensive items from me. In fact, she refused to take money that I offered to her for living expenses when she returned to Phils.

My point is, this seems to be the prevalent way of thinking for Filipinas when their Filipino family member or friend gets romantically involved with a foreign man. Most Filipinos see us as being extremely rich, and ready to hand over what to them amounts to very small portions of our fortune. They never once stop to consider the fact that while we might make as much in one month as they do in six months, our cost of living in the west is much higher than in Phils.

HW

[Cunning Stunt]

.. She also refuses to go there anymore because when she did go to visit family, she says she came home with an empty suitcase and just the clothes on her back.

Guilt is a powerful thing, but not if you don't let it be.

Hit it in one C. Back to utang loob again. Ever wondered why, when Filipina's are travelling by air, they take not just the kitchen sink, but the entire kitchen as well? Now you know.

My wife thinks its a mortal sin to travel with one ounce less than check-in allowance (and often much more - spent a small fortune on excess baggage over the years). This used to work both ways as well. Travelling out to The Philippines it was gifts/clothes etc for the extended Barangay family. Coming back it was Philippine foodstuffs etc for expat Filipino friends.

Ever wondered how a pack mule feels. I know. GH

[FreebieFan]

Am a serial player, by my own confession and seem to find great girls whom I never spend much on, but they still seem happy to meet me regularly. Ok. Self glorification time over. The point is I met one gal thru a site as we all do.

Eventually she took a bus to meet me, we met had sex. Repeated this a few times with a few variations. Sometimes we would stay in a hotel, sometimes would only meet for an hour or two etc.

She doesn't work, has a kid, the kids father sends her US$200 per month which she basically lives on. She has a really old phone and almost orgasmed when I gave her some old novels so now she can fill her days better. She goes onlnie one hour a day to chat with me as thats all she can afford.

Her bus fare to meet me is P400 round trip and I happily reimburse that.

Been doing this for 8 months now. But not once has she ever given me the " daughter sick no medicine" " no electricity in house as bill not paid etc". Shes a really nice gal, wouldn't know how to scam (ok she would but hasnt) and has very high principles. Its really amazing. Shes knows she could go to Angeles and make lots money. But principles won't let her. At this point I'm figuring I'm damned lucky. And if we only meet for a short time on each trip it allows me to play with others. Of course I slip her the odd P1000 bill now and again but thats because I want to and not because its expected.

Lifes good!

[SergeantRay]

So what did they do before you came along? Not bury the dead or go to the hospital? Where does all that rice come from if Kano is not there to pay for it?

My Filipina friend who is an MD, born in PI but raised in Guam, absolutely refuses to send money to PI. She told me she gets requests for money from family members she doesn't even know. She also refuses to go there anymore because when she did go to visit family, she says she came home with an empty suitcase and just the clothes on her back. Her mother and father still live in Guam and her mother works a factory job to send money back to PI. Even though the grandparents are both dead, they send money to nieces and nephews. The family even asks the parents to ask Jen (MD) because they are too shame to ask outright for money.

It is always interesting to hear her point of view on the subject because she gets down right pissed about her own family. Her point to me was, "I worked hard to get where I am. I had to sacrifice. I earned this myself. Why should I give to people who are lazy and don't work?" (I think she was ranting at this point as she had a beer in her.)

Guilt is a powerful thing, but not if you don't let it be.

Carmex,

Your point is well taken. I am not suggesting that Richard should send money to the Philippines. The possibility exists that the nephew in the hospital is a con attempt. I'm just saying that a request for money in this sort of circumstance is typical of the way Filipinos operate.

I remember the Wowowee episodes that were filmed in the US. One Filipina here in America was practically in tears as she pleaded with people back home to understand the difficulties she faced (she was working as a maid at a hotel). She was avalanched with money requests that she just couldn't meet.

The larger question is whether the Filipino system of borrowing from extended relations (blood relatives, neighbors, godparents, etc.) is a necessary socio-economic safety net, a cultural plague that encourages leeches, or both. I think foreigners need to be aware of this dynamic, especially if they plan on marrying a Filipina.

[Sol111]

Hey Rgburn, as long as you are getting revenge, lets see the nakes!

I know if my girl leaves me, I will have enough material to start my own porn site..and a model release from her! lol

Jambo, I've gotten enough revenge the last 10 days. She's outed on this forum, and two scammer websites. I've got the goods you mentioned, but am not wanting to stoop quite that low. Letting the world know what she's been up to is plenty. And maybe a trip to AC soon.....

rgb

[Carmex]

I think the girl here in question may very well be genuine and not a scammer. This is the reality of marrying a Filipina. Someone in the province dies, and they need money for a burial, a young niece gets taken to the hospital, grandparents need money for seed rice, a nephew is starting school, etc. I've been married to a Filipina and all of these are real crises. No one in the family has money, so where do they go when crisis strikes? You.
If the girl in the above quote was genuine in her affections, and there was a real connection, she will turn to you. This is how Filipinos operate.

So what did they do before you came along? Not bury the dead or go to the hospital? Where does all that rice come from if Kano is not there to pay for it?

My Filipina friend who is an MD, born in PI but raised in Guam, absolutely refuses to send money to PI. She told me she gets requests for money from family members she doesn't even know. She also refuses to go there anymore because when she did go to visit family, she says she came home with an empty suitcase and just the clothes on her back. Her mother and father still live in Guam and her mother works a factory job to send money back to PI. Even though the grandparents are both dead, they send money to nieces and nephews. The family even asks the parents to ask Jen (MD) because they are too shame to ask outright for money.

It is always interesting to hear her point of view on the subject because she gets down right pissed about her own family. Her point to me was, "I worked hard to get where I am. I had to sacrifice. I earned this myself. Why should I give to people who are lazy and don't work?" (I think she was ranting at this point as she had a beer in her.)

Guilt is a powerful thing, but not if you don't let it be.

[FreebieFan]

"Where's my gift?" Reply.."in my pants"

I've used that line very often. And God bless some of them. They don't know what we mean. One even put her hand in my pants packet one day and said she was looking for the gift. Said she didn't feel anything. Then she did. Then she went red. (as red as a brown gal can do). Then she got very shy and realised what I meant. She didn't return my calls therafter. Hahahahah.

[Warbucks]

Perhaps true freedom comes from fucking a beautiful woman and casting her aside. The more one values something the more power it has over you. Maybe by placing a low value on beauty these men challenge their women to bring more than a pretty face to the table. In the West a pretty face, slender body and a pussy is pretty much all that is needed to guarantee a life of relative luxury. Thank goodness the men from the East exercise more pragmatism in this regard or else the whole world would be like the West.

The Thai and Filipino men have learned to see women and their purpose from a practical point of view. Therefore they do not dote over them or shower them with money and attention. Some mongers, like That Asshole, eventually learn the ways of the Eastern men after years of experience in the hobby.

CM glad to see you here on this thread you always respond with insightful posts taking us deep into the human psyche. I am not saying we should be a "dick" to the ladies but the bus has to stop somewhere.

[Jambo]

DW, HW, others. As an aside from my former fiancee's scamming, I think many of us make it easy for them to do this. She was scamming multiple men whom she'd never met.

Hey Rgburn, as long as you are getting revenge, lets see the nakes!

I know if my girl leaves me, I will have enough material to start my own porn site..and a model release from her! lol