Giotto's Stories

[Nvslim]

I ended up with an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.

"What's that?" I asked.

"A mother and daughter threesome", she said.

As my mind began to embrace the idea and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said,"No, I haven't."

We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink,"tonight's your lucky night."

We went back to her place. We walked in.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs.

"Mom, You still awake?"

[Daddy07]

I miss the Stories. However the Lazy Bestard does not write anything anymore.

I miss PosterLion. He always told great stories.

[NicFrenchy]

I miss the Stories. However the Lazy Bestard does not write anything anymore.

[PosterLion]

Happy Birthday Mr. G

Actually, I have not been to Europe since 2003. That last story was an old one. I happened to find it on my computer and decided to post it on your board.

I will be back to Thailand some day. I just don't have any idea what day that is going to be.

Sorry for being a day late on your Bday, but as you may or may not recall, my wife's Bday is on the 13th and then Vday immediately follows, so I was pulling double duty this weekend.

She seems happy, therefore, I can be happy. lol and hahaha!

I just cracked open a beer, so here's a toast to you and all you guys in T-land.

[Giotto]

Please forgive me for stealing your forum, but I can not help myself, because I was reading a story in the "reports of distinction" posted by BucaThai, and it made me jealous.

Although his story is excellent, I was disturbed by his belief that Thailand is such an incredibly complex place, coupled with the fact that his username is "Bucathai". This made me think of the first time I travelled to Bucaresti, Romania, and I pondered to myself, "Which place is more complex, Bangkok or Bucaresti?"
...

Posterlion,

Good to hear from you ... and then back with a typical Posterlion story .

Does this mean that from now on we will not see you in Thailand any more, but only in Eastern Europe?

Shame on you ...



Giotto

[PosterLion]

LOL. The snow in Okie must be driving you mad.

Duni

I love you too Duni, and don't worry . . . All the deer around here are virgins . . . I THINK!

[Duniawala]

That is my abbreviated story from Romania.

LOL. The snow in Okie must be driving you mad.

Duni

[PosterLion]

Please forgive me for stealing your forum, but I can not help myself, because I was reading a story in the "reports of distinction" posted by BucaThai, and it made me jealous.

Although his story is excellent, I was disturbed by his belief that Thailand is such an incredibly complex place, coupled with the fact that his username is "Bucathai". This made me think of the first time I travelled to Bucaresti, Romania, and I pondered to myself, "Which place is more complex, Bangkok or Bucaresti?"

===

Here is my story from Bucaresti:

Dear Beata,

Now I have some time to write you a long mail. I am making time for this because, well, as I hope you do know and understand you have been one of my dearest friends since September 2000. I guess since I am being sentimental for you I shall continue in this vein and let you know how glad I am that this is the case! I thank you and kiss you!

As you already know, (because you are such a genius and a bonafide perceptive individual), I will tell you that yes... I am most certainly in love! I am smiling really big now because I realize it is true because it is so easy for me to tell you this. I am also smiling because at the same time, the sentiment I feel for you is still present. I think I must be the luckiest person to be able to have true feelings sometimes. Let me tell you a story on how I met this woman. Here name is Emanuella by the way. I am not sure if I will be able to write the whole story because it is so complex, crazy, and well; it shouldn't surprise you I don't think.

One day, (this is the truth) I was actually sitting around my house thinking about you and smiling because of the experiences I have had with you. I was bored on this day and I was wondering what I might do. It dawned on me that you would like to go Romania one day. So I thought to myself, Michael, why don't you get on ICQ and seek out people in Romania? It should be fun I think, It would be a way for me to carry this sentimental feeling I was having while I reflected about our times and also allow me to possibly create a new adventure and so forth you see. So this is exactly what I did!

It all started on the 9th day of July 2001, incredibly, over a card game, yes! Can you believe it? I met Dana on ICQ in Romania and shortly thereafter she asked me to play her a game of Gin on Yahoo games. It is still an incredible memory for me. As a matter of fact, it is such a beautiful memory I am going back to my dairy to make sure of this date! I was correct of course; I never forget important dates! I only forget the dates I must pay my bills and other mundane things like this. On this day I met my first Romanian friend, and it was not long after this that she became the first Romanian I would fall in Love with.

As in life, so in love, once there is a first, there is usually a second. I tell you this, but of course, with love, after the first or the second or the third, it does not matter, after love goes, you always think it will never come again. And that is what makes this story, this time in my life, so strange! Indeed, it was incredible because the first love turned into the second love in the span of one week. As a matter of fact, it is even more difficult than this! I literally had to kill the first love within my heart to allow this second love to be free. And I did so, this killing of love, hesitantly, for at first I tried to feed and nourish it. I gave the first love every possible chance to stay alive and stave off the second love from happening. It is as if in trying to tell myself this second love was not and should not be, that became the very thing that made it happen!

After talking to Dana daily, literally we spoke for hours each day; I bought a ticket to go to Romania. I bought this ticket at the end of July but the date of travel was set for November 9th, 2001. Thinking back, I find it amazing how deeply in love I thought I was with her. It still amazes me! Not only because of this short time, but if I recall it for a length of time, I can still feel it. As it turns out though, I only met one Dana of what I found out to be at minimum, two different Dana's within the same body. If the Dana I fell in love with would have been the only Dana to reveal herself to me; I might not have found my love for Ema and, might have made an incredibly horrific mistake! Oh, how fine the line is that divides fortune from misfortune!

On the other hand, this is my craziness, I do wonder, what if... As I still, even today, find myself with sentiments for Dana. For instance, I now drink Smirnoff because it is a drink we drank together. Not only this, but for months we had planned to drink vodka together on our first meeting! And another thing, I am reading Fyodor Dostoevsky out of my sentiments for her! I have a quote from him on my ICQ information. One day, Dana informed me that it is rude to quote people if you haven't read them. After my return from Romania, I found myself in a bookstore. Doing what you might ask? I suddenly thought of when Dana and I were in love and immediately went in search of his books, of which I am now reading! Don't confuse this for being untrue to my love for Ema. I am unable to stop thinking of her. I think of her with steadfast constancy! It is just that I am such a sentimental creature.

Now, to go back and recount a few things. You see, it was not long after I met Dana that I realized there could be something amiss with her. But, as Fyodor Dostoevsky has said in a story, I say in true life: "I am a ridiculous man!” Even though I know something is wrong I can not change my heart. Or maybe it would be better put if I say I refuse to change it! Especially when I feel it could be love, or shall we call it bliss? I guess I always think in 24-hour thinking. I ask myself this question, "If I only have 24 hours to live, what would I do?” In all cases, if I believe I might possibly find one small moment of bliss, then I say yes to that and ignore all else. For who knows, what if I talk myself out of possible bliss. How often in life, how many chances do we really get for love or bliss? Maybe none right?

So I knew I was going to Romania and it was to meet Dana, not Ema! But I decided to meet a few more people online in Romania, as I was afraid Dana might be a mistake to believe in. I met Ema online one day and we became good friends. I had no thought or intention of becoming in love with her. None at all, as I had never even seen a picture of her. I only knew in my heart that she was definitely a sincere person. As it turns out, I do have good instincts! Thank You God for this!

Dear Beata, I can see that I have only made an introduction into this story. I am going to have to stop writing in such detail. To be honest, I did not include enough in the introduction! I was in Romania for nine days. In this short time, so much happened that I could write a 200 to 300 page book about it!

I will cut to the chase using generalities as specific as possible. Ema knew that I came to Romania to meet Dana. But she agreed to meet me because we had good conversation. The way she said it was this, "Finally! Someone that is interesting to spend time with! Yes I will meet you.” I got to Romania on Saturday afternoon. Thanks to you my dear, your lessons of how to survive in Eastern Europe were invaluable; I found the bus for Piata Romano from the airport. From there it was about a fifteen-minute walk to the hostel I had arranged. I made it to the hostel at about 6pm.

Once I checked in I asked directions to find a phone card so that I could call Dana. I left in search of this card. Once I obtained it I called Dana at both numbers she had given me and she was not there. In my mind this was disappointing. So I called Ema and arranged to meet her in 45 minutes, then returned to the hostel. When I arrived, the manager told me Dana had dropped by and that she would be returning. Already! After being there for an hour, I had created the first complication. I ran to the pay phone across the street from the hostel and called Ema. I told her that Dana had come by and that I now had to wait for her and that I could meet her tomorrow instead of the night. Just as I was hanging up the telephone, Dana, with three of her friends passed the phone booth and we both saw each other at the same time!

The first night with Dana was very disappointing. She was very distant and I barely spoke with her. Her behavior bordered on rudeness in my mind and I spent most of this first night talking to one of her friends. It was so strange, yet not completely unexpected. The next day I met Ema and at first glance of her, I was not so interested. But this did change during the course of the day. Not that I was interested so much, but she became more appealing to me with each passing moment. As a matter of fact, after having some beer she took me to her office, where she was also sleeping on a cot at night, because she had no place of her own. This is one reason that I liked her because this is the kind of thing I did in my life as well! While at her office she was sitting at the computer and I happened to glance at her, in this moment my judgement changed and I caught myself starring at her, my heart telling me, "Look at this beautiful creature."

After this Ema's boss showed up. Her boss is from Budapest and so I met her and talked with her for a while. I told her that I had been there once and that I went there to meet you, "my Beata." Ema already knew all this as I had told her my story of meeting you over ICQ before we met in person. After this her boss recommended a pub we could go to that is very cool and had good prices. Ema and I left to find this pub and it took some time as it was in a part of town she (and of course I) was unfamiliar with.

We sat and drank and talked for some time. I told Ema about how badly things had gone with Dana and also many things about my feeling for life and she also told me hers. It was such a good night! After this night I knew I might fall for her if I did not keep my concentration. She was very encouraging with me and told me that I must see Dana again and see how things work out. This is how my Sunday went and the next day, on Monday, I called Dana and arranged to meet her at 6pm at the water fountain by the university. I knew about this water fountain because I met Ema on Monday for lunch and this is where she asked to meet me. So, when I met Dana there, I had met Ema previously at this very spot!

Well Dana was even ruder to me on the second night. But I was patient and calm. I did not let it get to me and just sat and listened and realize that she was troubled in her mind. We parted at 11pm. So now I will generalize and skip a few days. Basically, my days in Romania alternated between seeing Dana and seeing Ema. Each day I saw Ema I would tell her about my time with Dana and she would continue to encourage me and so forth. After this we would have great discussion and end the night with such happy notes! Also, I forgot to mention, on Monday after lunch, I went with Ema to the Opera and bought tickets to see Madam Butterfly on Thursday. As fate would be written, Thursday became the day for us!

On Thursday morning, I was deeply melancholy and as I said, trying to keep this love I had for Dana alive. I emailed her and asked her to go see Madam Butterfly with me. I told her to meet me at 17:50 at the water fountain if she wanted to go. She did not show up and Ema did, although a little late. She did not realize this though. When Ema arrived I told her that I had asked Dana to go with us but that it looked like she was not going to show up so I started walking toward the theatre. To my amazement, Ema told me we should wait a few more minutes for Dana, and we did. I knew Dana would not come.

Later, I found out two pieces of information, one Dana told me she saw my email but did not read it. This is the email I sent to invite her to this opera. I found this out on Friday. The other thing I found out was on Sunday. Ema admitted to me that she was jealous I had invited Dana to this opera.

So Ema and I almost had to run to the opera to get there on time! We barely made it! During the show she would whisper interpretations to me on what was happening. By this time I had fallen for her in my heart but would not admit it as I was still trying to nourish my feeling for Dana. After the intermission, something happened. I was leaning on my hands against the rail of the balcony. That is to say I was sitting forward resting my face on my hands. Ema was sitting back in her chair, almost as if she were behind me. Then at some point, I felt her hands playing with my hair from behind me. I resisted for a time but... I could not and in an instant I reached back and grabbed her hand! It was done! For the remainder of the opera we sat together, cheek to cheek, hugging each other and kissing, watching this opera! It was a madness that created a vision of sanity!

After the opera, we walked hand in hand and arm in arm and hugging to hugging to a pub. Along the way she told me that this was only for this night. She said that it was merely for the sake of affection because she could sense that I needed this and that she could also sense that she needed this. I was amazed! Then after we sat at the pub, I asked her to please explain this so that I was sure I could understand. The reason is that on the way to the opera before THIS, this thing that happened, I told her I would tell her about my Wednesday night with Dana. She reiterated that she meant what she said and then asked me to go ahead and tell her about Dana and the previous night. Now I felt better, because I did not want to talk about Dana anymore in my heart because I was afraid it was not right, considering that I was now, in my heart, in love with Ema!
So I told her everything, including how that night, this Wednesday, was the first night Dana and I had kissed, shit! I actually was beginning to have some hope about Dana and I, but now, although consciously, yet hesitantly, I wanted to murder this love because I knew I now loved Ema. Also, I told Ema that Dana and I were to go out again on Friday, the very day after all this happened between Ema and I!

After all this conversation about Dana, we settled back into our normal way and talking of beautiful things, continued to hold hands, kiss, caress, and love with true affection. We parted that night and now I ask you to remember the poem called, "Parting Sound". This poem is about Ema and I parting that night! And it is true in my mind in every detail!

Now this time in Romania becomes more and more complicated. I called Ema on Friday, in the morning. I told here that I would see Dana and that if things were as usual, I would part with her at about 11pm. Then I said I would call her (Ema) as soon as Dana left. As it turns out this did not happen. This night was so difficult for me. Two things happen in my heart. First, while Dana and I were looking for a place to go, I realized that we walked through a park that Ema had first shown me. Second, we walked right by Ema's office! I was dying inside, all I wanted to do was scream and run but I did not. Dana and I found a place, and then, shit! We had the best time we ever had together. I looked at her and thought as Ema had with me. I could see that Dana needed affection and that is what I gave her. It was awful and beautiful at the same time! Beautiful because I did enjoy it, but awful because I wished I was with Ema.

Dana and I stayed at the pub till almost closing, drinking Tuborg and Smirnoff. We were somewhat drunk when we left. We walked aimlessly through the streets of Bucharest, not paying attention to where we were going at all. We ended up by the main train station, Gare de Nore, sitting on the street curb and petting the stray dogs. I don't know if you realize this, but there is one stray dog for every ten people in Romania. Some of them become wild, running in packs. While I was there a news report showed a person that had been killed and then completely eaten by a pack of these dogs. The only thing that was left was the blood and a skeleton!

Suddenly, it was Saturday morning at 4am; the night was over as quickly as my stay in Bucharest. My flight was to leave at 06:50 on Monday. I only had a little more than 48 hours left. Dana and I went to the hostel and slept there that night. And although it was difficult to sleep in the state I was in, this is all that occurred.

The next day we woke up at about 9am. We only slept (or at least I) for maybe two hours, three at the most. I went down and got us coffee and we sat and read poems from two books Ema helped me to find that were English translation of Romanian poets. We chain-smoked and talked and were still having a good time. Can you imagine how stupid and confused I was feeling? It occurred to me that the best thing for me was possibly to be shot in a firing squad. But me being who I am, either a sensible person, or a coward, I was still alive and could not commit to anything that would bring about my death. So there I was Dana in my room on Saturday morning, in love with Ema, almost wishing that this night with Dana had happened a few days previous. It makes you understand what people mean when they speak of timing!

Then I started to put on all my clothing. I must have been doing it with noticeable haste because Dana perceived I was in a hurry. She said, "Oh, trying to get rid of me already.” which I flatly denied, and of course I lied. Damn it! I felt so shitty. I walked Dana to the train station and noticed a few more things that I did not like so much. Shit, I bet she did it to get a reaction that I am not capable of noticing to give. This is because I am not used to having such a fine eye for interpreting things that are so subtle. On the other hand, what I am about to say is probably just me being ridiculously pretentious!

One thing, for me a big one, is that I gave her a book of my writings. Now what I noticed was this. As we walked to the metro, she was holding this book so that it was sliding along a brick wall. I noticed how this was damaging this book and thought to myself how rude this was. It was as if she had decided in her mind to destroy this gift before she could even get it home. I watched as the book went from brick to brick and I saw the cover scarring right before my eyes. The other thing is this, when we were saying goodbye, I actually did want to kiss her but she made it seem so damn mechanical and without feeling. She looked at me and said, "oh, okay, I will kiss you I guess."

I watched Dana walk down into the Metro until she disappeared. Then, with ferocity, I took all haste with me and marched directly to a public phone to call Ema. I was panting when I arrived at one, not tired at all, but desperate! I inserted the phone card and dialed. To my amazement, her cell phone was not turned off and it started ringing! My joy was short lived though. She answered but then the phone disconnected immediately. I called back with the same result. My heart was sinking so fast that I was sure to die. There was nothing else to do but keep trying to find her somehow. I went straight to an Internet café and sent her an email:

Subject: Affection
I am in desperate need of affection and I have too much of it I need to give away.
I tried to call you but I think your cell phone is out of battery.
I am going to the hotel to shower and I hope you get this and call me.
I will try to call you back of course.
I have much to tell you as well.
Kiss and hug and stroke of hair.

Talk to you soon I hope,
Me...

I arrived back to the hostel at about noon and to my surprise and great joy, Ema was waiting for me. The people at the hostel had told her I was still asleep and she had said that she would wait for me to wake. I realized that the manager at the hostel was trying to cover for me, as he knew that I had brought Dana there and in fact, thought we were still there! I laughed to myself as I did not care or want this protection. But I did note that I would give him credit for his efforts.

I proceeded to show Ema the hostel, I gave her a tour, and it was so nice to do! Then in the stairwell or maybe my room, she pounced on me and told me that she missed me and, as I am sure you are now aware, I missed her as well! Then and there, we had changed from a one-time affection to something more.

Then after the tour, as we sat in the hostel lounge, a sadness gripped me. I knew that in less than 48 hours I would have to leave. I looked at Ema and my mind discovered a truth. As I previously described, I began to imagine that I would be dead before noon on the next day. I looked again at Ema and told her flat out, "Ema, I know now, that if I were to die in 24 hours, the thing I would want most. I would want to spend the entire time with you.” Believe me, this was not a romantic thing I was attempting. It was the answer of my true heart!

She was very accepting of this message and I was so happy! At this time she picked up a guitar that is kept in the lounge and told me to come close to her. She played the guitar and sang a beautiful Romanian folk song into my face from one foot away. It was magic, the sheer magic of love and affection that is so priceless in this world.
How much time I will spend in Purgatory is something I am sure to find out, as this story, though almost over, is now at the pinnacle of its complexity. Even though I had found my heart's answer, there was still the murder of a first love for me to commit. And this was the cause of much anguish for me on Sunday.

Skipping all the glorious detail of my Saturday with Ema, the Saturday that I lived as if I truly did have only 24 hours left to live, I will say it was over almost as quickly as it began. There I was, Sunday morning at the hostel, knowing full well that I must commit this murder of a first love. Not of course a real mortal killing, but nonetheless, something that represented a violence that I am not comfortable with. I had arranged to meet Ema at 3pm that day so that we could go to a concert. Not only that, but we had in fact planned all of our last hours together, as if I had a reprieve of death and was given 24 more hours to live, but this time, it would be for real.

I have not mentioned the fact that I did not call or email Dana since I had parted with her on Saturday. I was afraid to call, avoiding the atrocity I knew I must commit. I went down to the basement of the hostel to check my emails. And it was there that I met face to face the reality that I must kill my first love on this day, for there was an email from Dana that said, "Meet me tomorrow? I had a pretty good time last night. If you want to see me again before you go, be at the water fountain tomorrow at 4 p.m. Kiss, Dana."

I was truly dying! I really screwed things up now I thought. How can this be, that now, suddenly, Dana acts as if I am relevant? At about 2pm that day, when I had finished readying myself to meet Ema, Dana called me. At first I thought it was Ema and I was talking as if it were she until I realized that it was Dana. She informed me that she would be late and asked to meet me at 6pm instead. I told her that I could not because I had plans between 3pm and 9pm. Ema and I had planned to attend the concert and then we were to come back to the hostel to watch a documentary on the hostel's television. I told Dana that she could come to the Hostel at 9pm and she agreed.

Well, as you might have noticed, what was to happen, was not only a murder of my first love but in fact, to be witnessed by my second and true love! Maybe I was a fool to want the next 24 hours of life! Maybe I am merely a fool period! But what ever I may be, for this time, and even more so now, I am in love with Ema. What will happen I can not predict? We have made no promises and that is fine. Time will inform us if this is to be a true love. And if so, that is all the promise that should ever be necessary.

I have digressed from the story I am to tell you but I can not help this small diversion. Sometimes the mind must jump around from past to present. One thing I can tell you is this, I have never felt so good to just hold someone's hand as I do with Ema. The smile on my face and heart becomes to much to contain and I am suddenly kissing her, grabbling her hair, doing whatever comes to mind. And then there is this other thing I am not used to. Each time I see her she is more adorable then the last. This tells me that I am in love more than ever in my life! And it is scary, is it even possible that I know what love is? It feels like I am about to jump off a cliff, but this time, it feels like I want to jump immediately, the sooner the better!

I shall stop this diversionary tactic. In my mind, the swirling madness of my thoughts, I realize I am only digressing because it is difficult to tell this next part. In the end, once I am done with this story, I will be left with my current reality. Will this love I am feeling come to be? I am so frightened of the imagined sight of my breaking heart.

Emma and I attended the concert and it was beautiful for me, magnificat! It was like a meditation. My hands and arms meditated on feeling her in them and my mind simply fell away, rising and falling between crescendo and diminuendo. Ironic I tell you! I had been floating and falling all week in search of this love, this ability to rise and fall like the voice of an angel. The concert ended and there I was left to the imminent crime I must commit. The final fall that would throw me into a diminutive nature. My only hope being a resurrection, in which my death might lead to new life.

And I began to gain confidence from thinking of it in this way. I thought how easily Ema had understood my situation. I thought she would persevere in this as well, but... I still had not told her that Dana was to come by and I was afraid! Shaking inside, I put it off until the last moment possible, till the moment just before it would be an explanation of the presence of Dana without a previous warning. It was not until we arrived at the hostel at 9pm! It was then that I told Ema of what was about to occur. It was then that I was assured there would be witnesses, it was then that I was assured of my guilt!

And so it began, the unavoidable murder that I believed to be completely unplanned and yet planned at the same time! Had I not realized on the first day that I loved Ema? Had I merely been playing a role of the human afraid of love, standing at the edge of the cliff, unable to jump over? I could not think at all I tell you! Even now the thought of this makes me frightened. I desire to read this to Ema this very moment, the whole thing! To say, this is my leap, here is everything I am, open your arms and take me now, or hold out your dagger!

Dana walked into the kitchen of the hostel at 9:30pm. It was completely surreal. Everything went into slow motion, I think not just for me either! I think in one instant, everyone knew they had become witnesses to a crime. An eerie silence fell upon the room. Dana stood next to me, semi-sulking against the wall. She has a sulk that occurs in almost everything she does. I understand this because I have it too. Probably everyone does, just that, not everyone wears it visibly. I was unable to say anything at all. I was chatting but not saying a word, if you know what I mean? It was then that Ema whispered to me, "Maybe you should take her in the living room.” I turned to her and I believe I replied, "Excellent idea!” I am not sure I actually said anything at all. I do think she understood what I meant, even if I never said a word.

Things didn't get much better in the living room. I was incapable of saying anything coherent. I think I must have been talking, but I am sure it must have been intelligible babble. I must give Dana credit and all women for that matter... A woman can sense when a man is being a complete idiot. But I was trying! I swear to God I was! This is an area where I have never been any good. I have never been good at saying no, at making it clear that I had other intentions with a woman. It must be painfully obvious just how bad I am at it! I mean after all, look at the situation I had myself in. I would love to be able to think that I was completely innocent, why shouldn't I? Do not many people feel like this? Oh hell! I fear Purgatory is more than I can hope for after death! I will find myself on the straightest path to hell I fear.

Oh yes, I was just giving Dana credit where credit was due. She said that we should go outside to talk, and I think I told her the same thing I told Ema, "Excellent idea.” I forgot to mention that for a time, I was able to avoid conversation altogether. This is because I went back to the kitchen to make Dana and I some coffee before my crazed babbling began. We went outside with our coffees.

Once outside, I kept up the same incoherent babble. Now I am sure there was something understandable in them, as Dana knows a lot of my past history, more so than Emma. I was saying things like, "How is it I always find myself in such ridiculous situations?” After all, as I said before, "I am a ridiculous man!” Sorry for stealing a quote but at least I have read this author now! Finally, Dana asked me, "Just what are you trying to tell me?"

The moment had come, in a flash I assumed the role of a murderer and before I spoke my answer, I had a realization, that happened in an instant. I could picture myself already a ruthless killer. I imagined that all murderers begin the murder as if they are the most innocent of beings. And then as the time approaches, as the victim comes into their sights, they begin to babble incoherently. It is because they can no longer escape the reality they have masked with imagined innocence. It is at this moment they realize they are holding a dagger, and the mind can no longer think with reason, and what is more unreasonable than murder?

And so I killed my first love.

I looked at Dana squarely in the eyes and said, "You should have been nice to me.” That is the only thing I remember saying without paraphrasing, but I came directly to the point after this. After all, in most cases, murders happen quickly! I told her that in the course of the week I had fallen in love with Ema. I told her that this is just how it was, there was nothing I could do about it. She understood much better than I believed possible. I think the victim is always more in touch with reality than the murderer. It is easy to see why, is it not? The victim is the one that has reality thrust into them.

There was no complaining. She merely took a long look inside her coffee cup, like she was watching a quick rerun of her past. Then she told me something like this, "Here in Romania (I am not sure she said the name of the country) we all live in Dementia.” She continued to stare into the cup and I watched the cup fervently, as I imagined it might soon be splitting my skull. She told me that she was going to smoke a last cigarette and finish her coffee before she was to leave. I lighted a cigarette and smoked one with her, having a parting conversation. I wonder if this happens in a real murder. Does the murderer sit and talk with his victim after the act?

It was then I that realized I still had my hand on the knife, the victim was not completely dead. I twisted it in the form of a verbal assault in retaliation for the assaults I had endured earlier in my meetings with the victim. I said this to Dana, "Is this not an irony?” and laughed, "I know it's not original, but it makes a great story.” She took it well, I do believe she even smiled!

It is impossible to understand what had just occurred unless I clarify these comments. I must return to the Wednesday night that Dana and I were together, the night of our first kiss, as coquettish as it was. Actually, it was more like a kiss resisted and not wanted, than a flirtation. Anyway, I think you see what I mean in my description of it. But before the kiss, there was the rudeness I spoke of earlier. As I told you, I did a fantastic job of fending this off. But as I also told you, I believe this was not the desired reaction Dana wanted. I think she wanted me to draw a dagger in threat of death, for this is how I believe she operates. But, as I told you, I am not this kind of person.

Finally, I could take no more abuse from her. She had centered her attack on my writings and how I never wrote anything original. She told me they were simple and if I were to spend time writing, why not avoid wasting time and write something original. I could take it no longer and I let loose with all my armament. I asked her a question to set up my assault, "Can you tell me anything original?"

Now she paused and searched for an answer, which I of course did not wait for. I began with something like this: "So you think you are original? It would be easier for me to take this abuse from you if I ever saw your written.” as she had claimed to me that she was a writer in past conversations. And to her credit, she had written a few things. Then I kept after it, "And look at you, always telling me how Romanian you are, the living descendants Rome! Is that really so original? I mean if you are the living descendants of Rome, then you must certainly see the obvious. Can't you see that Rome still exists as it always has? The only difference is that I am now the Roman, and the whole stupid world is doing as the Romans do! Yes, Rome is alive and well; it is just on the western side of the Atlantic! We have our coliseums, the entire world listens to our doctrines: MTV, Hollywood, and Sitcoms. The whole thing makes me want to throw up! And also, as Rome did, we are doing, ever expanding our powers until one day, a tribe of barbarians will decimate us!”

Her reply amazed me, she said, "That is better.” This is what made me realize that she was looking for an outrage. At the same time, it became obvious that I was not for her. Simply because my outrage came too late and too strong. For immediately after this she said, "But you didn't have to be so vengeful." We finished our last cigarettes together and in parting I looked at her and gave her a hug. "You had better mean that.” She said. And I did, of course! I mean after all, a murderer is the most sincere of all people, don't you think?

I walked back into the hostel a convicted felon. When I got back to the kitchen it was as if I was never there at all. All the witnesses were afraid to look at me, especially Ema. I could tell the tragedy had affected her badly. I was so scared! I imagined that I lost her forever, and I think I came very close to losing her. She was unable to look at me as she had before Dana arrived. I can't say that I blame her. As a matter of fact, I can't believe she looked at me at all! I was so sad. I wanted her looks and touches. I was so ashamed to still need them, but I did need them, even worse than before! Finally, as if God had blessed me with my only wish, Ema looked at me. I seized the moment as best I could. I grabbed her hand from across the table, "I told her everything."

"You told her the truth?"

"Yes, I told her want to be with you."

There was a man at the kitchen table from Germany. He was there before I had left. Since my departure, he seemed to have become the dominant speaker at the table. It was for me, as I sat there in undeniable guilt, a direct assault! I am sure there is a little pretension in me saying this. But nonetheless it was obvious to me that he had set his sites on Ema. I was going mad watching this! I could say nothing after what had happened. I became a meek and timid being, unable to speak at all. And I think I was not wrong in believing his motives, for eventually Ema looked at me and said, "Are you going to pack?” This was in accordance with the plans we had made. I was never more relieved to answer a question, I said, "Yes, would you like to go with me?” To this, the man from Germany made a remark that was uncalled for, he said, "It looks like he could use some help.” I am not sure but I think Ema also saw this as I did, for it seemed she rolled her eyes in her mind, as she stood up to go with me.

It was a dark time for the next thirty minutes to an hour. I think that no one can emotionally deal with such violence, that I, the ridiculous man, had put them through! I remember after fumbling with my bag, incapable of packing, watching Ema sitting on my bed that my limbs and mind gave out. I climbed on the bed and wrapped myself around her, trying to communicate how sorry I was with what had happened. Then I got back on the floor and continued trying to stuff dirty laundry into my bag.

Then she spoke to me that she had read my email. I had sent her an email in reply to a letter she wrote me. I told her many things of which there is one of major importance. You see, in her letter she told me that she could not be with someone that was not close to her, because she needs affection when it is required. It is understandable! In my email I wrote her and asked, if an imaginary place existed somewhere on earth, where we could always be together, would you consider being with me? She told me that if that place existed, we could try! This was too much; I was so happy and am still so happy, but even more scared than before! The reason is because, at this very moment, I am standing on the edge of a precipice, looking into the unknown that we humans call the abyss.

I finished packing my things and took my bag to the lobby. Ema was there waiting for me. After she had told me her answer to my email, she also said that she was cold. I suggested that she go down to the living room, as it was much warmer there, while I finished packing. We left the hostel as planned, for we had decided to stay up all night because my flight was so early. We went to the same pub we visited on the first day we met.

===

That is my abbreviated story from Romania. The only thing I can think to add to Bucathai's idea that Thailand is complicated is this: "It is not the country of destination that is complicated, it is the individual that is travelling there."

Now I must question this entire discourse and especially my jealousy! How can I be jealous of someone that does not require the idiotic complexities that really do not exist for anyone that does not invent them for themselves?

But Oh! IS NOT ONE MOMENT OF BLISS ENOUGH! . . . for an entire life ? ? ?

poster out . . .

[Tamurlane26]

One started day two of the mission belatedly with a morning greeting from Madam Giotto which was enough to send our intrepid hero hurtling down Sukhmvit in the direction of Nana. Alas it was to be the start of another trail of woe.

Our hero had his hair neatly coiffured in preparation for the main event and then went to a legitimate spa to be pampered. Now all seems to be going too well and this is where we find our friend back on Soi 33 now with an aching in his loins and no mosquito coils in sight.

Having greeting Guido and requested an adaptor - to be told that "our customers are not so kind as to return what they borrrow" - this explains why condoms were substituted by mosquito coils. One went out into the street to look for fun.

Strolling into a spa which looked nice and inviting he was asked "do you want a man or a woman to massage you" - "a woman of course" - "then come back in 4 weeks time please" !!

Yes you guessed it he walked into the only gay spa in the road !

Reeling he quickly charged down the street dived into the nearest parlour flicking hastily through the pictures came across "Boom" and decided that the game had to end here. Fortunately "Boom" was an oasis of oil in an otherwise error riddled mission.

Now seemingly recovered our friend retired to the Sports Bar and decided to try his hand again. Therein lies another tale !!

PS 1ball you should choose your agents more carefully for Johnny Singlish is clearly worse than incompetent !!

[Member #3428]

Let me translate Tamurlane's post for those of you who don't speak Singlish:

"I went to fuck a babe in my room at Giotto's. We got hot and wild. I reached for a condom I saw in the bed-side drawer. I opened the silver foil pack and a fucking mosquito coil fell out of the fucking pack! We laughed merrily."

End of translation.

PS - Same happened to me last year.

PSS I thought I was the only dumb one who did that

Giotto... do you see a trend here??? Besides the fact that your guests are dumb enough to think a mosquito coil is a condom?

[Piper1]

Let me translate Tamurlane's post for those of you who don't speak Singlish:

"I went to fuck a babe in my room at Giotto's. We got hot and wild. I reached for a condom I saw in the bed-side drawer. I opened the silver foil pack and a fucking mosquito coil fell out of the fucking pack! We laughed merrily." End of translation.

PS - Same happened to me last year.

[Tamurlane26]

Now that a peaceful moment has been found - having been out with the "lergy" since returning from the mission to the Lodge it is time for another tales from the land of woe - also known as Johnny Singlish and his Misadventures.

Arriving late in the evening from the South our intrepid hero decided for the full frontal assault. A nice steak with Giotto and straight into the Bar - the reason being that the defeat at the hands of his father on a previous trip lingered in the memory.

So it was within 15 minutes that the deal was struck and as he nonchalantly strolled back to say good evening to his host and to inform him of his retirement - there was a rib tickler of "well your father was faster - i see you still havent made a decision". But our choice was already packaged and waiting by the stairs much to the amazement of the Burgermeister.

Now alarm bells should have been ringing when the comment of "do you have a condom" was met with an equally nonchalant "they have them in the room".

But our myopic hero only saw the object of his lust undressing and a silver packet by the bed. So it was into the shower and into the bed where unwrapped and enticing lay our lady of the evening.

We shall spare the details of what came next apart from the denouement. At the height of great excitement our amorous myopic hero asked his paramour to unsheath the weapon of choice.

Yes you guessed what happened next out onto the floor fell the blue mosquito coil at which point one could feel the laughter coming from the bar and defeat loomed or rather defeat hit our hero in the face with the full slap of a wet blanket.

Deterred and eager to live to fight another day the warm embrace of sleep and the pillow was all our friend felt for that night

"and there's more" - day 2 to follow with even more hystrionics - really some advance guards should be left in their countries of origin and banned from travelling !!

[Carlos Primeros]

Hi Giotto,

I deeply admire you - you managed to have your own Salon de Giotto in the Franciscan Convent in Santiago de Compostella, Spain. (Photos attached)

- Master - monger!

Carlos

[Giotto]

...
I believe you - honest, I do ! !

ET

Eric Tile,

Damned (I mean honestly) ... you are a BESTARD, too !


Giotto

[Eric Tile]

[Giotto Quote : "but honestly - I was not in the mood any more"]

I believe you - honest, I do ! !

ET