Thai Culture and Customs

[Hermescali]

Thanks Giotto for your support, and Mick for sympathizing.

Women really have the guts to wonder why we monger? Too bad the only woman who can sympathize with us are lesbian.

There are quite a lot of girls who like men, but sometimes also other women. They can sympathise with us. Luckely I am married with one. Sometimes we have fun in Thailnad together, sometime I have fun in Thailand alone.

[Slylock]

Thanks Giotto for your support, and Mick for sympathizing.

Women really have the guts to wonder why we monger? Too bad the only woman who can sympathize with us are lesbian.

[M P Lurker]

Slylock,

Nobody will laugh. Who can understand Thai women ?

Anyway - the outcome is good for you, congratulations!


Giotto

It also shows how pointless it can be to guess what is going on with Thai women. I get proved wrong, time and time again.

[Giotto]

Giotto and others do not laugh to hard ya?!

Well I finally meet up with my girl and had a unforgettable night! How did this happen you might ask, well heres the story.

I checked into the hotel, went up to my normal room and meet my wanabe girlfriend. So I had decided before I left I would just come straight out and ask if see has a boyfriend and if not why can she not meet with me. Well she started crying and said she has no boyfriend. she says she is embarrassed to tell me that she lives a few hours away in a small village and takes bus to and from work. I said that I do not care where she lives and that we should go out, have some drinks and really get to no one another. She then tells me she gets off of work at 5pm (which I know) but that the last bus leaves at 7pm! so if she stayed to go out with me she would be stranded! So to make a long story short. I changed hotels, we went out, had fun and she stayed the night! I feel so dumb, I guess I never asked the right questions.

Slylock

Slylock,

Nobody will laugh. Who can understand Thai women ?

Anyway - the outcome is good for you, congratulations!


Giotto

[Slylock]

Slylock,

Not really. If this goes on for years now this girl is also not too young any more and should not have problems to leave home to meet you.

Giotto

Giotto and others do not laugh to hard ya?!

Well I finally meet up with my girl and had a unforgettable night! How did this happen you might ask, well heres the story.

I checked into the hotel, went up to my normal room and meet my wanabe girlfriend. So I had decided before I left I would just come straight out and ask if see has a boyfriend and if not why can she not meet with me. Well she started crying and said she has no boyfriend. she says she is embarrassed to tell me that she lives a few hours away in a small village and takes bus to and from work. I said that I do not care where she lives and that we should go out, have some drinks and really get to no one another. She then tells me she gets off of work at 5pm (which I know) but that the last bus leaves at 7pm! so if she stayed to go out with me she would be stranded! So to make a long story short. I changed hotels, we went out, had fun and she stayed the night! I feel so dumb, I guess I never asked the right questions.

Slylock

[Slylock]

Looks to me that she has a boyfriend.

Some hotels don't allow their staff to meet customers outside of the hotel.

Giotto

I do agree with you on the boyfriend part, or maybe even a husband as she is not a spring chicken anymore. Yes, her hotel does not allow their staff to associate with the guests outside of the hotel.

I as of yet may give up on her, but she is such a sweet lady.

Thanks, this has allowed me to think this out better and see it more clearly. Like hitting the refresh button!

Hope all is well with you and family,

Slylock

[Giotto]

...
Any ideas?
...

Slylock,

Not really. If this goes on for years now this girl is also not too young any more and should not have problems to leave home to meet you.

Looks to me that she has a boyfriend.

Another option could be that she looses her job when she meets you. Some hotels don't allow their staff to meet customers outside of the hotel.


Giotto

[Slylock]

Slylock,

Do I understand correctly: 8 years, many attempt to meet somewhere outside of the hotel, and she never shows up?

Giotto

For the First 3 years I never tried anything with the lady, thinking even if she was interested so would think I am only interested in sex and nothing more . But over the last 5 years i ask her every time I am there if she wants to go out to eat or maybe shopping or a movie. The first time she said no, but I was persistent on my following trip up. She agreed to go and have something to eat. She did not show up at 8pm as per or arrangement. She also did not show up for work the next day either. I asked the old woman who works on the same floor what she thinks is going on, thru or broken english and thai she told me that the girl thinks that she is not good enough for me, and that her parents may not approve. The old woman also told me to keep trying. For the next couple of trips I left the matter alone, but about 8 months latter I asked her again and she said yes. Thats when she started trying to hold my hand and smile at me differently. I went to meet her at the bowling alley and she did not show up again. This time I tryed to call from a pay phone, she answered and when she found it was me she just started speaking in Thai and ignoring what I am saying. So I think she was at home and her parents where around. I then gave up for awhile, about a year I quess. Then I got a call from the old woman who also works on the floor I stay, she tells me the Head of housekeeping has died in a motorcycle accident and asks me to come up to the funeral. that was about a year and a half ago. At the house of this old woman some of the people from the office where there eating and talking, the girl I was interested in came over with her parents. I took the time to speak with her father through a 'translator'. We seemed to have gotten along, though that is much different then him thinking I am good enough to date his daughter! On my next trip up I asked her out again, she said yes! kept finding reasons to come to my room and kept trying to squeeze my bum! So I thought 'OK' this time its ON!

But alas she did not show up again. She was scheduled not to work the next day and I was due to go home, as I left my room she was waiting for me in her normal clothes. I did not stop to talk and just came home. That was the trip before I went back to the states for awhile. I will be going back up next week. I did not know what to do, but I like her and she seems to like me but something is holding her back?

Any ideas?

Slylock

[Giotto]

...
I have a question concerning a thai lady. I do think it is appropriate to this thread and not the thai women thread. so OK, I have been staying at the same Hotel for 8 years. I travel to Thailand once every 2 to 3 months, for the past 8 years. This girl happens to be one of the housekeepers for the floor I stay on. I am very interested in her, and she in me. Whenever I ask her out on a date she says yes, we decide on venue and time, but she never shows up! Now, I first thought this was a 'not loosing face' issue where should would not want to say no to me, but during the day, before she leaves work she will stop by to "check" I have everything I need, while doing so she will confirm the date, smile really big and then giggle her way out of the room. Then I thought ok, she must have been held back by her parents, as she lives with them still. but I have meet her parents when the captain of house keeping passed away. So I now do not know what the matter is! I know she likes me, she is always smiling, and not in the normal thai fashion, then after about 2 years she would grab my hand, then it culminated a few years back with her grabbing my ass! Any ideas?
...

Slylock,

Do I understand correctly: 8 years, many attempt to meet somewhere outside of the hotel, and she never shows up?


Giotto

[Slylock]

BTW, I do not bring working girls to my hotel room.

I am a massage parlour person. This also in the south Hatyai.

Cheers

[Slylock]

Hello all,

I have a question concerning a thai lady. I do think it is appropriate to this thread and not the thai women thread. so OK, I have been staying at the same Hotel for 8 years. I travel to Thailand once every 2 to 3 months, for the past 8 years. This girl happens to be one of the housekeepers for the floor I stay on. I am very interested in her, and she in me. Whenever I ask her out on a date she says yes, we decide on venue and time, but she never shows up! Now, I first thought this was a 'not loosing face' issue where should would not want to say no to me, but during the day, before she leaves work she will stop by to "check" I have everything I need, while doing so she will confirm the date, smile really big and then giggle her way out of the room. Then I thought ok, she must have been held back by her parents, as she lives with them still. but I have meet her parents when the captain of house keeping passed away. So I now do not know what the matter is! I know she likes me, she is always smiling, and not in the normal thai fashion, then after about 2 years she would grab my hand, then it culminated a few years back with her grabbing my ass! Any ideas?

OK, I would like to feedback on wai-ing. I do believe one of the reasons it is so hard for farang in this area of whom to or not to wai comes down to the fact that in our home countries we are not on a different class level then the people we deal with in Thailand. At least in the sense that we 'started' there, ie service industry or the like. Also western people are raised to be polite. We are always looking for the way to be polite in other cultures, and naturally without guidance we would tend to latch onto something that fills our need to be polite as soon as we find it and in Thailand we are Wai-ed too even before the first smile. (As immigration has never smiled to me before. LOL and next person i meet is the tout wai-ing to me and offering to take me to a great hotel) so my point in this is to ask those guys out there who live and work in Thailand, unlike us part timers and first timers. What can we do, short of just nodding, to cover OUR need to be polite and cover THERE need of not loosing face or feeling embarrassed?

[Happy Fucker]

Yes, because they are your GF's/wife's parents, so warrant respect despite perhaps being dirt-poor Isaan farmers. But, the fact that you would end up with a GF/wife from that social strata is another issue, altogether.

Thanks for the info. It's exactly what I do everytime I see her parents.

It's true, she's from a very poor family, but has been brought up by her parents in a way which I don't believe any other could have done any better. I'm the first and only farang she's been with, and we have been living together now for 3 years. She's polite, smart and has good manners. It was a big coincidence how we met and I'm very happy I met her. I have been together with some "rich" and respected girls from LOS before I met her, and she is far better than any of those, but of course there are good "rich" girls too. And BTW, she's never worked in any bar or go-go. Her Parents have always had just enough money to provide for their kids. As a matter of fact, when I brought her to a go-go bar for the first time, she was really shocked and wanted to leave strait away. She said she became very sad to see what her fellow country girls had to do for a living.

HF

[Old Thai Hand]

But I have to say some Thai girls are just so cute when they wai you.

That's a big part of it as well. Thais, particularly women are very graceful when they wai. Farang usually look like contortionists in pain when they do it.

A nice touch, if you have a regular Thai girl in your life is when she wai's you and then the headboard of the bed before she goes to sleep. I've never had a BG do this. But, lots of nice TGs do it. It's quite charming.

[Old Thai Hand]

OTH, is it approriate to wai your GF's / wife's parents when they are much older than yourself, even if you have a much higher status than the parents? I'm thinking of farang man with thai GF / wife.

HF

Yes, because they are your GF's/wife's parents, so warrant respect despite perhaps being dirt-poor Isaan farmers. But, the fact that you would end up with a GF/wife from that social strata is another issue, altogether.

[Finrod]

I was clued in when I got there so I never wai'd anybody and I didn't run into any monks. The only time I wai'd was at the big Buddha images at the Wat Prakeuw. But I have to say some Thai girls are just so cute when they wai you.