FKK Artemis - Berlin

[Aklein]

My ratings artemis

Girls 15/25
Selection 13/15
Service 22/25
Food 4/8
Facilities 8/10
Cleanliness 7/8
Staff 4/5
Accessibility 4/4

Total – 77/100

[Angus Magee]

Carmen is now Israeli, what BS!!

Carmen is Ro with mixed heritage. She does like to tell you different stories dependent on her mood or just the day. I found her a nice session. Not a barn burner but nice. She is actually a fairly intelligent woman and if you engage this intelligence and take no shit (she will try it on) she can be a fun girl.

AM

[Bearsk]

I agree with Angus, the newer girls can be a lottery. I am doing more repeats.
The other thing I like about A is the staff, Ana (spiky blonde, often on front desk), Lydia (blonde hair in pigtail, often works downstairs bar), red headed younger lady with a snake tattoo on arm and massage guys are very pleasant a good part of the experience for someone traveling.

Over all I like Artemis. Recently though I have been privy to some of their behind the scenes workings and can say that there is certainly room for improvement but little incentive to improve. They are the only FKK game in town after all. Let's just say that were I running things (easy to say) I might put a little more effort into how they hire the girls. The girls are, after all, the backbone of the operation.

AM

[Bearsk]

Carmen is now Israeli, what BS!!

Yesterday, sessioned with Carmen.
Said she was from Israel, tall, dark hair, blue eyes, piercing or something at the nose. Nice but nothing special.

[Bearsk]

Here are mine, I will only post here:
Artermis (12), Palace (3), Oase (2) - number of days I have been to each in the last year or so.
1. GIRLS (appearance) 20/25, 20/25, 16/25
2. SELECTION (variety, in terms of looks, nationality, ethnicity, age/experience etc) 10/15, 12/15, 9/15
3. SERVICE (from the girls) 21/25, 17/25, 22/25
4. FOOD – 3/8, 6/8, 5/8
5. FACILITIES (other than food) - 8/10, 7/10, 6/10
6. CLEANLINESS – 6/8, 5/8, 5/8
7. STAFF (friendliness, helpfulness etc – also website usefulness) – 5/5, 3/5, 4/5
8. ACCESSIBILITY (transport-wise) – 4/4, 3/4, 2/4

Total maximum points = 100

My totals:
Artemis: 20+10+21+3+8+6+5+4 = 77/100
Palace: 20+12+17+6+7+5+3+3 = 73/100
Oase: 16+9+22+5+6+5+4+2 = 69/100

I like all 3. Artemis is actually excellent except for the food and I would like an outside area.
Palace is very good but many of the girls are sharks so you need to look out and the staff are not as helpful. I think is in part because most customers come once in a while, not many regulars.
Oase is interesting. Its more difficult to access and the girls are not as pretty but outside is good in the Summer and the girls go out of their way to please.

1. GIRLS (appearance) – maximum 25 points
2. SELECTION (variety, in terms of looks, nationality, ethnicity, age/experience etc) – maximum 15 points
3. SERVICE (from the girls) – maximum 25 points
4. FOOD – maximum 8 points
5. FACILITIES (other than food) – maximum 10 points
6. CLEANLINESS – maximum 8 points
7. STAFF (friendliness, helpfulness etc – also website usefulness) – maximum 5 points
8. ACCESSIBILITY (transport-wise) – maximum 4 points

Total maximum points = 100

This scoring system affords 65% of the weighting to the ladies and 35% to extraneous aspects of the establishment, which feels about right to me. No doubt others will have their own ideas as to how these categories ought to be weighted, but I didn’t want to undertake a survey as to how I should structure the survey……..

I invite all experienced mongers to rate the various FKK’s that they have visited, and I will collate the evidence at the end of November and post the collective view of this board during the first week of December.

I am going to impose a few conditions for qualification, in order to effect some statistical integrity to this survey: -

a) The ratings of anybody with less than 20 posts to his name will not be taken into account unless he can clarify why his view should be factored in.

b) As this is to be a comparative exercise, unless you have visited at least 2 (and preferably 3) FKK clubs in central Europe, please do not proffer your rating.

c) Please confine your ratings to clubs that you have visited at least twice – anybody can have a shitty experience at a club on a single visit. An exception to this qualification is afforded to Fkknomad, as the inspiration for my survey, who is cordially invited to resubmit his rating for Artemis on my prescribed scale.

I am submitting this posting on each of the individual threads pertaining to the major FKK clubs. If you decide to post a rating, please do so on the thread designated for that thread – i.e. your rating for FKK Palace should appear in the FKK Palace thread, not wherever you happened to read this posting.

I have myself visited about ten clubs in Germany and Switzerland to date, but I have made multiple visits to only four of them, and I will post my own ratings on those four later tonight

Consumer surveys of this sort usually have some sort of incentive attached to them, in order to attract responses. In keeping with this tradition, at the end of the month I shall conduct a random draw from the names of those persons who have replied. I will announce the winner of that draw and I shall pay the entry fee for that person to visit the German FKK club of his choice on any date before Christmas. If for any reason that person is unable to visit a club before Christmas (shame on him – what sort of undeserving monger is he?!), then he may nominate any other board contributor of his choice (who has posted at least 20 times this year) to be the beneficiary of this prize.

I hope that I am not breaking any forum rules with this exercise – I just thought it would be interesting to see what the consensus view is about the relative merits of the various clubs that we attend.

Best,

Charlie

[Nille Copenhagen]

Artemis,Palace,Oase,Goldentime,Villa Vertigo

1. GIRLS (appearance max 25) 20 21 19 21 19
2. SELECTION (variety max 15) 13 14 12 13 13
3. SERVICE (the girls max 25) 21 18 19 23 23
4. FOOD (maximum 8) 5 6 3 7 7
5. FACILITIES (non food-10) 9 7 7 6 7
6. CLEANLINESS (max 8) 7 7 4 8 8
7. STAFF (friendliness max 5) 4 4 3 5 5
8. ACCESSIBILITY (max 4) 4 3 2 2 2

Scores:
Artemis: 83
Palace: 80
Oase: 69
GT: 85
Villa Vertigo: 84

[Fkknomad]

True Kimino, I gave a neutral mid score for the food based on selection.

My revised "weighted" ratings for FKK Artemis.

Girls 12/25
Selection 12/15
Service 10/25
Food 4/8
Facilities 6/10
Cleanliness 5/8
Staff 3/5
Accessibility 3/4

Total – 55/100

[Kimino]

Just a quick report on what has been going on at A in the past 2 days.

Quite a lot of people around. Couple of italians (from Naples) got kicked out for acting like aholes.

The day before, I resessioned with Raffaella and resessioned with Connie. Loved both, particularly the first one. Both reported other times.

Yesterday, sessioned with Carmen.
Said she was from Israel, tall, dark hair, blue eyes, piercing or something at the nose. Nice but nothing special.

Berna
Turk, black hair, dark eyes, not very tall beautiful body.
Started off really badly in the kino, was going to pay her just to leave, the rooms appeared to be all full. I told her we should check if one of the rooms downstairs was free, and one was.
In the room, and mmaybe because i managed to get her sweet side to come out a bit, she really changed. It ended up we had a real nice session, anal, cim, the whole kit. Costed a fortuna but was really great, unexpected.

Will be there today, and fly away tomorrow morning.

Anyone coming in?

Ciao

[Angus Magee]

Surprisingly Artemis is really the only club I am qualified to rate given the guidelines of the survey. So here goes. And I am also having to mention that my visits are much less frequent of late so take that into cnsideration


1. GIRLS (appearance) – 20/ 25 points
2. SELECTION (variety, in terms of looks, nationality, ethnicity, age/experience etc) –10/15 points
3. SERVICE (from the girls) – 18/25 points
4. FOOD – 5/8 points
5. FACILITIES (other than food) – 8/10 points
6. CLEANLINESS – 7/ 8 points
7. STAFF (friendliness, helpfulness etc – also website usefulness) –4/5 points
8. ACCESSIBILITY (transport-wise) – 3/4 points

Total=75/100

Over all I like Artemis. Recently though I have been privy to some of their behind the scenes workings and can say that there is certainly room for improvement but little incentive to improve. They are the only FKK game in town after all. Let's just say that were I running things (easy to say) I might put a little more effort into how they hire the girls. The girls are, after all, the backbone of the operation.

AM

[Rocketboy0]

Hi,

In a recent post on the Oase thread, I asserted that ‘Taking all factors into consideration, Artemis remains the premier large FKK club in the nation’

I wonder to what extent that viewpoint is shared by experienced FKK attendees on this board? – I suspect that I am in the minority.
....
I invite all experienced mongers to rate the various FKK’s that they have visited, and I will collate the evidence at the end of November and post the collective view of this board during the first week of December.
Charlie

______________________________

Charlie this is a roaring good idea on many levels. Your structured survey method (the weighting) and incentive package are inspired. Here is my take:
(apologies for alignment problems-pulled off an Excel table but does not seem to help)

Charlie´s Survey Item Artemis Palace Oase

1. GIRLS (appearance max 25) 17 20 10
2. SELECTION (variety max 15) 12 15 7
3. SERVICE (the girls max 25) 20 18 15
4. FOOD – (maximum 8) 5 8 2
5. FACILITIES (non food-10) 8 10 7
6. CLEANLINESS – (max 8) 8 8 4
7. STAFF (friendliness, helpfulness 5) 5 4 3
8. ACCESSIBILITY (transport -max 4) 4 3 1

Totals:
Artemis 79
Palace 87
Oase 49

Have been to all over 5 times each, and home base, well over 5.....
Of course totally subjective. One difficulty with all this is that some of our favorites sort of pull up the overall impression-difficult to keep it in balance. Or certain aspects - like Oase outside is spectacular in the summer, but the dindgey (apart from the best jacuzzi of all) inside the other 8 months....
I do wish Artemis would up its game..I am friendly with a number of the management staff and like them a lot as people, but the quality of the girls team is going down, and the food...(I´m not there to eat, but really...it ought to at least be healthy to keep fit thru the night-better for all as it´s more money cuming in). We will see what the new facilities bring...

[Kimino]

Ciao.

How can you give a vote for the food if you didn't even try it?

[Charlie 123]

Hi

Here is my own set of ratings for fkk artemis:.

Girls 19/25

Selection 11/15

Service 17/25

Food 6/8

Facilities 9/10

Cleanliness 6/8

Staff 4/5

Accessibility 3/4

Total – 75/100

Charlie

[Charlie 123]

Hi,

In a recent post on the Oase thread, I asserted that ‘Taking all factors into consideration, Artemis remains the premier large FKK club in the nation’

I wonder to what extent that viewpoint is shared by experienced FKK attendees on this board? – I suspect that I am in the minority.

Today in the Berlin thread poster Fkknomad gave the following rating in various categories for Artemis based on what I understand to have been his first visit to the club earlier this week:

My overall FKK Artemis Rating.

• Girls (looks, youth, slim) - 5/10
• Selection (Quantity and variety of non Romanian) - 6/10
• Service - 4/10
• Food - 5/10
• Facilities - 6/10
• Cleanliness - 6/10
= 32/60

I have taken the liberty of deciding to undertake a survey of contributors to these pages, in order to ascertain the most popular/best FKK club in Germany.

Whilst I broadly agree with Fkknomad on the selection of categories, I don’t reckon that they are all equally important and I do not feel that they should all carry equal weighting. I do not believe, for instance, that ‘Girls’ and ‘Food’ are equivalent considerations in assessing the merit of an FKK club. So, I have devised a slightly different scoring system to reflect the priorities as I envisage them: -

1. GIRLS (appearance) – maximum 25 points
2. SELECTION (variety, in terms of looks, nationality, ethnicity, age/experience etc) – maximum 15 points
3. SERVICE (from the girls) – maximum 25 points
4. FOOD – maximum 8 points
5. FACILITIES (other than food) – maximum 10 points
6. CLEANLINESS – maximum 8 points
7. STAFF (friendliness, helpfulness etc – also website usefulness) – maximum 5 points
8. ACCESSIBILITY (transport-wise) – maximum 4 points

Total maximum points = 100

This scoring system affords 65% of the weighting to the ladies and 35% to extraneous aspects of the establishment, which feels about right to me. No doubt others will have their own ideas as to how these categories ought to be weighted, but I didn’t want to undertake a survey as to how I should structure the survey……..

I invite all experienced mongers to rate the various FKK’s that they have visited, and I will collate the evidence at the end of November and post the collective view of this board during the first week of December.

I am going to impose a few conditions for qualification, in order to effect some statistical integrity to this survey: -

a) The ratings of anybody with less than 20 posts to his name will not be taken into account unless he can clarify why his view should be factored in.

b) As this is to be a comparative exercise, unless you have visited at least 2 (and preferably 3) FKK clubs in central Europe, please do not proffer your rating.

c) Please confine your ratings to clubs that you have visited at least twice – anybody can have a shitty experience at a club on a single visit. An exception to this qualification is afforded to Fkknomad, as the inspiration for my survey, who is cordially invited to resubmit his rating for Artemis on my prescribed scale.

I am submitting this posting on each of the individual threads pertaining to the major FKK clubs. If you decide to post a rating, please do so on the thread designated for that thread – i.e. your rating for FKK Palace should appear in the FKK Palace thread, not wherever you happened to read this posting.

I have myself visited about ten clubs in Germany and Switzerland to date, but I have made multiple visits to only four of them, and I will post my own ratings on those four later tonight

Consumer surveys of this sort usually have some sort of incentive attached to them, in order to attract responses. In keeping with this tradition, at the end of the month I shall conduct a random draw from the names of those persons who have replied. I will announce the winner of that draw and I shall pay the entry fee for that person to visit the German FKK club of his choice on any date before Christmas. If for any reason that person is unable to visit a club before Christmas (shame on him – what sort of undeserving monger is he?!), then he may nominate any other board contributor of his choice (who has posted at least 20 times this year) to be the beneficiary of this prize.

I hope that I am not breaking any forum rules with this exercise – I just thought it would be interesting to see what the consensus view is about the relative merits of the various clubs that we attend.

Best,

Charlie

[Kurre]

Just ask CharlieAM

Yeah, every forum needs its Charlie

Monday and Tuesday will now be dedicated to mongering in Berlin. Reports will follow. In case anybody needs to contact me in Artemis, I will be the guy in a bathrobe sitting either in the bar or on a couch or in the cinema, occasionally drifting to a room with a spinner or two in tow... Feel free to tap me on the shoulder.

Password will be "In quest for the always elusive perfect night at an FKK".

[Charlie 123]

Just tell them when you leave that you plan to return and they will note your details and give you a new wristband when you come back. This is done all the time. Just ask Charlie

AM

Correct - I leave and come back later pretty much every time I visit. Just don't forget your key number in the interim.

C