FKK Artemis - Berlin

[Markthomas1950]

Instead of printing notes in italian about buying the tokens to get alcoholic drinks at the reception, why don't they print and give out at all customers a multilingual leaflet with the rules of the house, explaining that going against those rules will get your ass out of the place as fast as a missile?

Hi Kimino,

I thought it was only Palace in Frankfurt that had printed laminated cards written in Italian language to explain to them the deal at Palace. At reception I have seen many times the Reception lady handing out laminated cards to the Italian men who cannot or refuse to speak english explaining what the 75 euro entrance is for and what you must pay extra in the club like drinks and time with the ladies.

The Thekefrau lady apologised to me as I wait for the Italian men to get out of the way that the reception staff do not speak Italian and can only speak English and German. I got processed for my entry while the Italian guys digest the rules at Palace.

So what this shows is that the Palace management had had some fore thought in trying to improve communication and marked Italians as being a big enough group to get their own language explanatory notes since the Thekefrau cannot give a verbal one like she does for english and german speakers.

At Oase there is a similar issue and I have lost count of the times where I have helped the bar staff explain in english to non German speakers that to get a beer or other alcoholic drink that they had to go to the reception to buy a token first and then come back to the bar to buy their drink. I always get a smiling thanks from the Oase bar staff for doing this and now the Oase bar staff know my drink and get it for me without asking at times.

[Markthomas1950]

Be strong my friend. You are not the first of us in the same situation. Now the best way for you is to avoid artemis during a long time and to forget. It is cruel, i know but better to forget each other that fall in addiction without solutions at the end, only lot of tears and lot of money away.

Hey Linus Van Pelty and Gustoomas,

I have been there too. I have dropped a lot of money on these working girls and fallen for them and did silly things. You live and learn and just need to be conscious of the fact when you do start doing it.

It can be very hard to take but you need some support in keeping you sane and get back to normality with the working girls and fuck them for sex and not for something more.

[Kimino]

I always feel bad sensations on reading about these kind of experiences.
...

Wrote a big report but vanished from my iPad.. damm...

Anyways. here is the short version.


Is it really getting this bad?
I really don't think a "All the Italiand get the f.. out of here" is a feasable solution.
Not with what has been happening in history, not because of the kind of reaction from people not liking artemis's business there could be.

Instead of printing notes in italian about buying the tokens to get alcoholic drinks at the reception, why don't they print and give out at all customers a multilingual leaflet with the rules of the house, explaining that going against those rules will get your ass out of the place as fast as a missile?
Why don't they get a few more security guys going around?
Why does it have to be me to point out idiots smoking where they shouldn't?
I pay 80 euros to stay in a nice, and calm place, possibly in a non smoking area...
I do think that the Artemis staff (particularly the seurity) does a great and super professional job, but maybe they need help.
Having one security guy for each of the 4/5 strategic places in the club would make the change.

I live in italy and my opinion is that what we need is control and punishment, no way out! Noisy Artemis and a few prostituse getting pissed off because customers touch their ass without paying is the last of the problems.

Obviously I would do without this crap, but the idiot's mother is allways pregnant so that's how things go.


As for the girls, I know quite a bunch of them and they know me. With the ones they don't know you speak a different language, If they still have problems, wtf, get another bi... There's plenty.

This said, I've been to Artemis quite a bunch of time. In slow evenings, and in super crowded messe period. With or without italians, russians, iranians, etc. etc.
Yes there has been some noisy evenings, but never so bad, so don't get paranoid and have fun!!!


Guys, I must have missed something, wasn't there a 5 year birthday party of Artemis with a bunch of you being there??? Where's the reports????
:-)

Friends, you know who you are, remember we have to meet at the end of this month!!!!


Ciao

[Angus Magee]

Parties-you either love ’em or you hate ‘em. And FKK parties seem to divide the throng. Some of us revel in the atmosphere, some of us shy away. I normally would include myself with the latter group and up until I found myself on the guest list for Artemis’ 5th birthday bash I had no plans on attending. I remembered that last year as a paying guest I was a wee disappointed with the experience, not that Artemis was not its’ usual den of sin and debauchery. I did however remember being frustrated by the apparent lack of available girls. If this was just my perception I do not know, but I was curious to see if things would be different this year.

I arrived at around 16:30 expecting to meet both Rocketboy and Charlie some time late in the afternoon. It was Wednesday so the usual Dessous was expected but today was also a party. Upon encountering the first few girls I decided today was Dessous on steroids. The girls were all dressed up in white and pink. Some wore lingerie, while some wore even more. A couple of the girls I saw upon entering looked to be dressed for the senior prom. Now I am not one to really object to Dessous day, as long as it is only once a week. Today though I did feel some of the girls were overdressed to the point that one wonders what they maybe hiding which is, as I understand it, the main objection by many to this tradition.

The early crowd was heavily weighed on the male side. That is, the bar held few ladies and many, many white robes. I did find myself wondering what was up but also thought that the ladies were probably taking their time getting into their finest. I was right, a short spell in the sauna and pool and a return to the bar saw the population of ladies growing and I knew that Artemis would not disappoint.

First Rocketboy made his entrance, catching Angus snoozing (figuratively) on one of the behind the bar couches and stealing his bath shoe. Then a little latter Charlie was there and we moved to a better viewing station. The girls dropped by but did not push to hard. And here in lies, I feel, the difficulty with this sort of party. It was obvious that many of the guests tonight were, like RB & I, guest listed. It was also obvious that while we were certainly interested in the offerings, it was not really top priority. We were also there just to check out the scene. The girls know this and it sets up a vibe. This vibe, while fun on the party level, is not particularly conducive to good sessions. The girls seem a bit divided between the wish to enjoy themselves (and who can blame them for this) and the desire to turn the evening into a money making time for themselves. They have, unlike many of the guests, paid 80€ to be there.

I decided to get in an early session and seeing my favorite all alone on a couch I pounced and without ceremony was off to the room. After the session I was ready for food and here I have to report a marked improvement from last year’s event. The previous year they tried a sit down feast with table service. The food was good (better than the usual) but the table service really did not work. It came across to me as clunky and slightly annoying as the waiters were hard to contact and I remember sitting for sometime wondering where my food would come from.

This year they hired a specialty catering company, set them up in a big tent in the parking lot and did what the Germans do so well, grilled meat. In fact they grilled the biggest single piece of beef I have ever seen on a spit. A whole cow! Yes lads, quite literally there was a whole cow turning slowly on a spit with a couple of guys carving off great big chunks and carving it up in front of you. I felt like Fred Flintstone ordering Bronto-ribs. It was also tasty with pan fried spaetzle, potatoes, gravy and salad. There was also rotisserie turkey breast, pork and panfried fish filet. It was not delicate food, but it was good and I enjoyed it. Top marks for both the management that decided upon this strategy and the catering company who pulled it off.

Back on the dance floor the evening was now in full swing. As predicted the line up of ladies was not disappointing purely from the visual point of view. That is the ladies were at their finest, if not at their most naked. There was a band playing the hits if the past there decades and later on a couple of heavily made up and costumed strippers took to the stage. It was all very festive yet for me, and for RB I think, something seemed to be missing. Maybe we are both infected by monger’s malaise or maybe we were both tired. Neither of us could, it seemed, muster all that much enthusiasm for heading to the rooms. Around 22:00 RB pulled the plug and bailed. Charlie had disappeared for now and Angus decided to stick it out at least until the fireworks display that happened at around 22:30. This and the champagne offered seemed to make it worth staying.

After the fireworks, which were actually quite impressive for a private display and must have cost a bundle, I thought again to leave but had the oft experienced Artemis itch to scratch. That is there were a number of ladies that inspired curiosity and I wanted one more session. The only trouble was that my mood was not great by this time. In retrospect I too should have pulled the plug but I hung around, and around, and around. By this time the party was pumping and the rooms were busy. I waned something more than just a quick pull into a room but this was not going to happen. At least from the ladies I had my eye on who leaned towards the optifick side of things. The trouble was I just knew that a room would be hard to find. A look up the stairs supported this as the couples were stacked up like flights over an busy airport. I just did not have the stomach for dragging a sweet young thing up those stairs and then making conversation as we waited for a room. So I myself went into a holding pattern and simply prowled discontentedly for some three hours until shortly after 02:00 when I found it within to leave.

Was I satisfied? Not really. I consoled myself on the night bus home (I had memorized the schedule before leaving) with the fact that I had spent little on the evening. Would I attend again? I have to say not, unless I again found myself on the guest list. But I would not pay for the privilege. In my opinion, while the birthday bash has its’ merits (good food) it is not the best time for a visit to Artemis. Better to bide one’s time and visit when the place is a whole lot more relaxed and the girls are ready to talk a bit before heading to the rooms.

Thanks for reading
AM

[Linus Van Pelt]

There were, unfortunately, a huge group of Italians who were absolutely rude and lived up to every stereotype they could think of.

I always feel bad sensations on reading about these kind of experiences. Because I know it's damn true!

The word "Italians" sadly gets a lot of results inside this forum.

I wrote something about this topic in the past, apologizing for my stupid compatriots. Some of the Italians posting on this forum agreed with me.

I always come to Artemis alone, and I often realize that the noisy ones come from the south part of Italy, but it's not a rule.

I don't want to repeat myself (and the other "non noisy" Italians posting to this forum). With this post I want to say I'm more and more seriously worried about a possible day in Artemis during which the security may say "Ok, ALL Italians quit the club, NOW! ". I'm amazed it's not yet happened.

A misunderstanding is not impossible. During the Italians usual noisy scene, to say "I'm Italian" is not a good business card.

Last time I was here, a girl asked me what time did I come at; I replied at 11. 30am (it was about 9pm), and she didn't trust me after knowing my nationality (she hadn't been seeing me because I used to continuously go upstairs with my favourite girls, but she didn't believe me).

I am not joking telling I'm worried, because sometimes I was tempted to complain about the noise and the arrogant behaviour to the reception (if you understood what they say, you'd be even more annoyed). I gave it up just for my nationality, so, as I thought this, I presume many other could think and even do this! Even some girl (the ones they continuously try to kiss and touch without going to the room and pay).

He he, many "non noisy" Italians are hiding their nationality in the club, talking in a decent english as much as possible (quite decent english pronunciation = very low probability of Italian; and, also, not talking in italian language even in foreign country = low probability of Italian).

Make me a promise: should I have a problem for my nationality, not for my fault rarher because of a misunderstanding caused by other stupids, if I tell "Help, help! I am Linus! " and should some of you be present, please save me explaining to security/reception/girl that I'm not part of that stupid 90% part.

Very sad to talk in these terms, but while in normal conditions a person can distinguish between good and bad guy from the same country, in case of nervous situations things could go wrong.

(If I were the Artemis manager, I'd keep a black list of persons not allowed to enter, or, better, not allowed to enter together. They must not lose so much money since they are mostly stingy. Bad, but it would save the mood of the other visitors. Italians and not)

Bye

[Gustoomas]

Sometimes it's only sex, sometimes friendship is added on, sometimes a genuine bit of reciprocal affection grows.

But, it seldom happens, sometimes you feel the girl more and more well disposed to you, starting with "simple" sex, GFE and lots of kisses, and the border dividing the client-pro relation and "something else" is, magically, crossed.

You understand it by looking at the way her eyes stare at you, not the same way as during the session beginning. She stops needing "only" to make you/her cum, but also needing your touch in her face, her hands sweetly caressing your head, your body, you and her keeping each other in a strong, deep, emotional, never-ending hug.

Both needing to say goodbye many many times, in the room, close to the safeboxes no matter for other persons presence; needing to tell about private important life facts, sharing good and bad events.

During these exceptional experiences you realize your and her soul start mixing up.

I don't want to name what happens with a particular word. But I'm at home now, listening to "our song", and I'm still not able to make my tears stop falling.

Be strong my friend. You are not the first of us in the same situation. Now the best way for you is to avoid artemis during a long time and to forget. It is cruel, i know but better to forget each other that fall in addiction without solutions at the end, only lot of tears and lot of money away.

[Nille Copenhagen]

but certainly improbable--they would still not look like Caroline Wozniacki.

Great report,

He, he Caroline Wozniacki is a Danish Tennis Star.

Nille

[Linus Van Pelt]

Hi Linus,

You nearly brought a tear to my eye reading that post! Know how you feel. Just over a week ago i was in Artemis for 3 days. It was really hard coming back down to earth after spending 3 days in Paradise with my favourite. I'll try and write some more when i get my head together!

I look forward to see your report!

I'll also try to collect my 36 visits (so far) into some interesting report (difficult to me. My sentimental part would hide the interesting erotic part. But I'll give me a try).

Bye

[Linus Van Pelt]

Linus,

I know what you mean. My experience with Dorean during my first two visits to Artemis in '07 are still the best P4P experiences I've ever had. Something just clicked there...

Interesting, I don't think I've ever seen her name mentioned here in any other report...obviously didn't strike a chord with other contributors.

The each of us heart and soul may have different resonance tones, so, like a musical instrument, not all frequencies (girls) could make us vibrate.

The same, I think, from the girls point of view (while considering their job).

Problem: a musical instrument vibration cannot stop instantly; how long is the echo? Those girls are equipped with a damper (like inside a piano) able to quickly suppress the resonance. Is our damper as effective as their ones?

Shouldn't be true, we would add a new long lasting vibration for each Artemis visit, that could be pleasant and dangerous at the same time (some resonances may injure the musical instrument).

My God, I'm too much spiritual! I'm scared of myself.

It's time to get some multiple session. I look forward to come back at Oct. 9th!

Bye

[Write93]

So I was asked by Angus on twitter to write a report and as a thanks for all of his help I have decided to do so. I figure if he can shoot those incredibly useful videos then writing the report he asked for is the least I can do.

These were my first two trips to Artemis but I have been to Samya in Koeln before. I think the club compares favorably, having a much larger non smoking area is a big benefit and I think the quality of girls is higher at Artemis. The price is a drawback though--for the same 200 eur in Samya you can have three sessions instead of two. (80+60+60 vs 50+50+50+50) I have not eaten the food at either place and can't comment on it.

Saturday Sept 25: two sessions, and I was there from around 1230-1700. I thought it was a little slow for a Saturday, especially for a club this big, although it did pick up as it got later.

First session was with an aggressive girl who, I being out of practice, does not have a name. Blonde hair, fake but still human sized breasts, probably 25-30. Not german by accent, but that's all I know. She pressured me towards CIM but wanted 50 eur extra which is too much. A standard session otherwise, would probably recommend if you wanted to pay the extra. Moderate english skill. Unfortunately without a name this isn't very helpful!

Second session was with very attractive and very much crazier Luana from Stuttgart. I'd assume she was around 22, blonde hair, she was talking to a friend from North Carolina who I would have liked to talk to afterward but she was gone and I was leaving. Fantastic session, the best I have had until a session on Wednesday beat it. Perfect blowjob, I didn't find out how much CIM was but I probably would have opted for it although the sex was also superb. She spoke some english but it was definitely endearing. I looked for her on Wednesday but I didn't see her. Would definitely return, and recommend her to anyone.

Wednesday Sept 29: Three sessions, was there from around 1300-2000. Seemed like there were way more guys than girls for the entire time I was there, although there were many more girls overall than on Saturday. There were, unfortunately, a huge group of Italians who were absolutely rude and lived up to every stereotype they could think of.

First was Nina from the Czech Republic. Long black hair, I don't want to guess on her age because of a previous report on her reading reports of her. I think this was a good session. It was my first of the day but it was a good beginning. I think I would recommend her well, you may click with her more than I did and have a fantastic session but she is a professional in the best sense of the word and I don't think you'll end up having a bad one. Moderate english skills, with which we had a small conversation about heartbeats during orgasm. Fascinating stuff.

Second was Pia from Germany. Probably from 22-25 as well. Blonde girl with the small breasts who is incredibly attractive but was a terrible session. I didn't ask her name until it was really already too late, and I didn't see the previous report on her but I'd definitely agree with it. Good english skills, but I'd avoid her. It's possible that she was just tired or we didn't click but it was absolutely my worst experience with a German girl (who I usually prefer as these things are unlikely to happen and you have girls like Julia from Liberty and Luana and Kathleen here) and maybe my worst ever. I respect that she intends to make her living from this, and she is certainly one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, much less had sex with, but the session wasn't any good and I'd recommend along with the previous reports that you stay away from her. Good english skills though!

Third was Kathleen from Germany, Potsdam. There appear to be conflicting reports here, even a negative one from Angus--a man I imagined as a sort of Jose Mourinho of the German brothel world, capable of turning any team into a winner--but this was definitely the best sex I have ever had. I don't doubt that as a reaction to Pia beforehand that this was improved (although I did think about just leaving, glad I stayed, obviously) but I can't speak highly enough of it. The blowjob was maybe, maybe! only one very small notch below Luana's, but the sex was similarly fantastic. Maybe the biggest draw for me is that she looks virtually identical to Caroline Wozniacki. I don't know of many girls you'd do better with me by looking like. Maybe a younger Natalie Portman or Rachel Bilson, but as a blonde, Wozniacki is tops. I feel bad for those of you who have been with her and not gotten the best. She speaks excellent english and we probably spent ten or fifteen minutes after the session discussing my native California where she is going on vacation in November. I would definitely return to Artemis just to session with her three times in a day. In fact, given that option, I'd definitely chose it over risking other girls, as even if they were better--possibly, but certainly improbable--they would still not look like Caroline Wozniacki.

Hopefully these reports help Angus, or as I'm sure he intended, help other people who read the forums.

[Dogger862]

Linus,

I know what you mean. My experience with Dorean during my first two visits to Artemis in '07 are still the best P4P experiences I've ever had. Something just clicked there...

Interesting, I don't think I've ever seen her name mentioned here in any other report...obviously didn't strike a chord with other contributors...

Angus - enjoy the party, I envy you!

Cheers,

[Angus Magee]

A short video showing construction of the wall at Artemis.

http://www.angusmagee.com/?p=490&preview=true

Angus

[Angus Magee]

Wednesday 16:30 Ol' Angus is just leaving for the Art party. Expect a report sometime in the next days and I will try to up load a video of the out door construction progress a bit later, in the wee hours of the morning.

AM

[The Postman]

Sometimes it's only sex, sometimes friendship is added on, sometimes a genuine bit of reciprocal affection grows.

But, it seldom happens, sometimes you feel the girl more and more well disposed to you, starting with "simple" sex, GFE and lots of kisses, and the border dividing the client-pro relation and "something else" is, magically, crossed.

You understand it by looking at the way her eyes stare at you, not the same way as during the session beginning. She stops needing "only" to make you/her cum, but also needing your touch in her face, her hands sweetly caressing your head, your body, you and her keeping each other in a strong, deep, emotional, never-ending hug.

Both needing to say goodbye many many times, in the room, close to the safeboxes no matter for other persons presence; needing to tell about private important life facts, sharing good and bad events.

During these exceptional experiences you realize your and her soul start mixing up.

I don't want to name what happens with a particular word. But I'm at home now, listening to "our song", and I'm still not able to make my tears stop falling.

Hi Linus,

You nearly brought a tear to my eye reading that post! Know how you feel. Just over a week ago i was in Artemis for 3 days. It was really hard coming back down to earth after spending 3 days in Paradise with my favourite. I'll try and write some more when i get my head together!

[Macca 74]

It was marathon day in Berlin and I felt sorry for the runners as the weather was horrendous. Continuous heavy rain can't have made it an easy course.
Anyway, I had other things on my mind as I headed into Artemis just before 12pm.

As I approached the lockers, Joy from Lithuania was there waiting for payment. She must have been one of the earliest cabs off the rank that day, and there she was picking up her first fare.

As expected the club was fairly quiet. Although the quantity of ladies wasn't huge, the quality was very good. I spotted The Queen, Jenna, and the adorable Vivian, and quite a few others I couldn't name, but there were some real stunners working the room.

I grabbed something to eat (scrambled eggs and bacon available, if the foodies are interested), and went downstairs to read and use the sauna. I don't know if it was because it was Sunday or the low numbers of ladies, but I wasn't approached once in the 90 minutes I was downstairs. Very unusual.

At around 2pm I decided to look for my first encounter of the day. I had spotted a nice looking blonde a little earlier and was pleased to find her sitting on her own on a sofa in the main bar. We had a quick chat and were soon on our way to the room. Her name was Natalie, 25 years old and comes from Ukraine. She's got a short blonde bob-cut and is average height with a pretty face and lovely deep blue eyes. Good figure but with no augmentation, she looks like the hot girl next door. Her service was great. She was very enthusiastic and receptive, plenty of DFK and a great 69 and BJ. A definite repeat next time I'm in Berlin.

I headed off to my hotel at about 3pm and returned to Westkreuz at 7pm. The place was a lot busier and it looked like a full line-up was on display.

Next up was Luna, a dark, petite Brazilian from the Amazon region who was wearing white fishnet stockings and a fetching white cap. She was great in the room and is very cute and friendly. Luna is a GFE with a bit of attitude, She's been reviewed here recently and didn't disappoint.

I went downstairs to relax and bumped into Vivian who was reading her stars in a magazine (love-life good, I would imagine). I had a nice chat with her and said I'd look her up a little later if I had the energy. Sure enough, Vivian found me in the upstairs kino a little later and it was soon zimmer-time. There was a wait for a room and I had a good conversation with Vivian, who was very complimentary about the way Artemis look after the girls, health-wise. Good to hear. I had a wonderful time in the room with Vivian. She's great at what she does, excellent company and possesses an exquisite beauty. No wonder she's so popular with quite a few regulars.

That was me done for the day and I left at around 1 am. A superb day, all things considered.

The club was still busy as I left, and judging by a few limping guys in the house, it looked as though a few marathon runners had managed to find their way to Artemis. Good on 'em!