Bangkok Reports

[Manicure]

Hi, I will be able to stay for 10 days in May in BKK, and do not see any mention of places specializing in flat chest girls, are they such place available? Sorry for the farang beginner question.

[Oosik]

It's always good to find things as you left them. Returning from Pattaya, after checking into the airport hotel I headed for town with several missions: Get a load for my SIM that will last for at least ten months, exchange some dollars to give me my starter money for the next trip, get snacks for my horrific economy trip back across the pond, and have one last glorious, mind blowing sexual encounter.

SIM: Check.

Cash: Check.

Food: Check.

Sex: Hey, three out of four ain't bad!

Bull! SIM cards can be repurchased. Money can be changed next trip. My left arm would be a perfectly adequate snack if worse came to worst. But blowing my last chance of sex with another human before I went to the Land That Sex Forgot is a tragedy that ranks up there with the disco craze and the Titanic, though the latter involved that lucky bastard Dicaprio getting killed, which moves me up one rung on the ladder of The Guy Who Gets To Screw The Supermodels. By my best estimate after a few more billion guys die I'm in the top billion. So many guys, so few ocean liners.

My plan was simple: Get the SIM loaded at the AIS place in Terminal 21 (I wanted to talk to someone to ensure it would be good long enough, so 7-11 was out), then use the phone to find out if Bell, she of the bionic rim job, was working at Cherry. If not, I was off to Som's. To cut to the chase, I ended up with the same chubby I had at my failed effort last visit. Yep, things were just as I left them. Obviously remembering her last failure she went all out, shedding the top early, which really didn't help. Yes, they are big. So are cow udders. I personally am not sexually attracted to most bovines. A bit of shape is important. There was a brief improvement when she had me lie flat on the couch and sort of did a tittty-f*ck, more like a titty-jack. When you can't see them they feel wonderfully soft if you really concentrate on not remembering. Right after the near ecstasy came the agony. The pendulous pods were moved north, dragging across my face. I was offered nipples that looked like they had served most of the population of Thailand. Whatever hope of victory I had had was dragged away. I will remember for the next months, then the memory will fade, occasionally revived when I see a fat chick or a cow, and Bangkok will again become the land of smiles and PSE.

Just for spite I'll close on a really unrelated topic, little boys sticking digits in dyk. I mean dikes. Twelve hours after bidding adieu to Miss Piggy I was winging my way home. But the trip had one more experience of note, an experience so bizarre that I felt it must be shared. You may have noted that the bar for things that must be shared is pretty low in my writing, maybe even on the ground, but this bit of literally toilet humor almost had me laughing even while in the throes of a major crisis. I was at the KAL business / first class lounge at Narita. Not terribly long before my boarding time I went to the restroom for a last chance to void my bowels. They have those bidet-seat things on the toilets. I've never used one but always like the little sink sprayers by Asian toilets, so I figured I'd give it a whirl.

I looked at the control panel beside me. It appeared to have come out of a space shuttle. There were probably ten or twelve buttons with various icons and Japanese hieroglyphics on them. I identified what I assumed was the front-wash, presumably for women or guys with really smelly balls, and two different back washes. One looked more like a shotgun blast, the other more of a sniper shot. I decided to get shot by the sniper. I pressed it. There were noises, but nothing seemed to happen. So I released it. Noises grew in intensity. The center of the control panel briefly illuminated and I saw 1:02 before it went dark. So, if the fountain ever started, I was going to get a one minute hosing off.

The fountain started. It felt like what I imagine you could get at the Eden Club for a lot less than that seat cost, though I doubt most girls would last the standard 1:02. But, of course, you have two girls, so.

Sorry, let's get back to Tokyo, and fast. So there I sat, rather enjoying my one minute sampler of that fetish, moving this way and that, chuckling to myself about some poor guy, already late for his flight, being forced to wait another minute. A fun excuse to give your boss, wife, copilot, or whomever. It's not like you can stand up and leave: That thing will chase you out of the stall like a (very) miniature police water cannon. No, your job for that minute is essentially that of the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dike, except that you use your butt and it isn't plugging a homonym for a butch lesbian. You remove your ass and the bathroom floods. Very slowly.

Yes, it was all fun and games until the minute was clearly over and I was still saving mankind from the biblical deluge. I stared at the control. The stall was gloomy so the icons were hard to decipher and the timer illegible without the backlight. Was it an on-off thing? Did I press the same button again to stop the geyser? Or would that just reset the timer? Would it shut off if weight were removed from the seat? What would a ball washing feel like?

Finally, I steeled my nerve and pressed the button again. The flow continued, but the backlight lit again momentarily, showing 1:05. Holy crap! I HAD reset the timer, with an extra three seconds this time! Wait. What time was it, anyway? My watch showed 1:05. It was just a damned clock. It wasn't a timer, so it must have an off switch. Carefully avoiding the ball wash I tentatively pressed a few buttons. Many exciting things happened in the vicinity of my anus, but they all involved a continued stream of water. It pulsed. It aimed high, it aimed low, it increased intensity, it decreased intensity. For all I know it changed colors. I may have a green butthole right now. This was Japan: I may have Hello Kitty painted on it.

Eventually I spotted a button with a red symbol. It could mean "off"; it could mean "boil". Either way I was going to get off that toilet after I pressed it: The equivalent of "sink or swim", but with the possibility of a guy dashing out of a stall with his pants around his ankles, hands gripping his butt crack with Hello Kitty peeking out between the fingers.

The flow diminished, then stopped. I shot off the thing before it could change its mind: If I had pressed some sort of delay button I planned to be long gone, leaving some poor guy to get shot in the face, maybe with boiling water, as he entered the stall. These sorts of events are not tabulated in the "Air Travel Is The Safest" statistics, I think.

[FL Hawk]

I'm 60 years old, fit, healthy and slim, but I do have an unfortunate problem. No problem with getting turned on / staying hard, but I now find it difficult to finish, and impossible in a condom. .

Thanks for you reports thus far. I am about the same as you. Just turned 60, reasonably fit, slender, healthy and single. I can get / stay hard with stimulation, though I can finish in a condom, especially using one of the super thin Japanese condoms (though if you are well endowed, they may feel tight). However, after a few releases over a few days, I do need additional stimulation. Actually, I have never been in a situation where daily sex was available to me for a week or two, so I really don't know how I might perform.

Anyway, I have the opportunity to visit Thailand for a maybe 2 1/2 weeks in late April, to celebrate my 60th. (I am single.) If I go, I hope to get down to Phuket for a few days and possibly over to Pattaya. I am not the big city type and think I will tire of BKK within a week. Landscape photography is one of my hobbies, so I hope to maybe hire a couple of girls to show me around.

But hope you have a great time! Keep the reports coming.

[JRoberto]

Diary of a week in BKK Day 3.

(Days 1 and 2 below. Headings missing).

We slept late, so no morning sex. Again, I wasn't bothered about this. So it was ST but I let her sleep in my bed. 2,000 be.

2 months ago, I signed up with Thaicupid.com. Yes, I am half-heartedly looking for a new partner, and this seemed an opportunity to dip toe in water. OMG, so many 40-something enthusiastic Thai women looking for a farang husband like me. I arranged to meet 3 attractive ones on this trip. I spent today with Paa, with whom I had already exchanged quite a lot of online chat, so we already knew each other. She sells insurance. Well, it was fun to spend the day with her. We did some touristy things express boat along the river, what Arun, what Pho etc. Unfortunately it was a public holiday, so boats and temples packed. But the benefit was we got to see a really beautiful dancing ceremony at what Arun. We had dinner at the huge MK Gold in Ekkamai (thanks to Natty Bumpo for the recommendation). You cook the ingredients yourself at the table. It transpired that Paa once waitressed in an MK many years ago. So I let her order, cook on the table, and serve me. I was the only non-Asian there. I really enjoyed it. Paa went home from the restaurant. We held hands and stuff, but I was glad she didn't come onto me in a big way. I like her, but didn't want an ongoing relationship with her. But I agreed to meet again 3 days later.

I wandered out of the Sofitel at about midnight, wanting some action but with no plan. I had noticed that there was usually a decent freelancer or two on Sukhumvit near the Sofitel. In fact, I quickly saw a cute woman about as close as it is possible to be to the Sofitel in between the big pots with palms in, on the pavement right in front of the hotel. She told me she could give a proper massage as well as "look after me" for 1,500 be. I love massage, she seemed nice, so it was a no-brainier. Her name was Pin, 33 years old but of course looks younger. See photo. It transpired she works in a legit massage place in Soi 80-something from 11 am to 11 pm, then some nights tries her luck here. She gave me an hour of Thai massage, really good, then lots of kissing, BBBJ, great HJ finish, and general GFE-ness. Perfection, everything I want. I really liked her. Exchanged Line addresses. I put 2000 be in her handbag.

[JRoberto]

Went to La Belle mid afternoon. Huge place, up market bar area, and huge luxurious room with big bath. 20-30 girls (more when I left). Cheapest section was 3,800 be, rising to 7,000 (I think). These prices include the farang premium I assume? Couldn't see any difference, actually the two best looking to my eyes were in the 3,800 section. Chose Fern, very small, milky coffee coloured, ultra cute, the best looking girl I had the whole week. Not much English. Routine service bath, covered BJ, sex, finish with hand no problem. It's going well!

Mid evening, I decided to visit the Biergarten. No intention of going with anyone. Ha ha you've heard that before. I sat down at the bar. Before long an attractive 30-something sat next to me (later told me she was 39). Normally dressed, with glasses, didn't look like a hooker at all. Her name was M. I was grateful for someone to chat to, but no intention of going with her. I have to admit she played me really well. She was easy to talk to, didn't pressure me at all, just very gradually seduced me. After an hour or more, I realised I really liked her, and eventually agreed to go with her. Not because I particularly wanted more sex, but I wanted to continue with her company. We walked back to Sofitel, but stopped in the bar next door (next to Thermae) for a drink and 3 games of pool. I thought these girls were meant to be really good at pool? But I won all 3 quite easily (played a lot in teenage, but hardly since, so I guess I still have a good eye). Back to hotel. I agreed she could stay the night, as the BTS was about to close. We had oral both ways, sex, hand, but I couldn't finish. I wasn't bothered about this, even if she was!

[CallMeTony]

Hiya. Did a quick internet search on the name. Returns as a ladyboy place.

Really not my thing.

I meant real women, girls.

Thanks,

Tony

[ActionOriented]

[Deleted by Admin]

EDITOR's NOTE: This report was edited or deleted to remove references to Transvestites/Transsexuals/SheMales. As provided in the Forum's Posting Guideline, members may not discuss Transvestites / Transsexuals / SheMales. Please read the Forum's Posting Guidelines for further information. Thanks!

[TwoTimeTed]

[Deleted by Admin]

EDITOR's NOTE: This report was edited or deleted to remove references to Transvestites/Transsexuals/SheMales. As provided in the Forum's Posting Guideline, members may not discuss Transvestites / Transsexuals / SheMales. Please read the Forum's Posting Guidelines for further information. Thanks!

[JRoberto]

Well, I RTFF extensively, which was really helpful and often enjoyable! Many thanks to all of you, especially prolific posters like Natty Bumpo and Paul Kaulsh, really enjoyed your stuff. Nice to record the memories in writing. And I hope my rambles may be of some value to other newbies. But seasoned travellers will probably just sigh at the naivety.

I'm not quite a newbie in Bangkok. With my then partner, on previous visits I've snuck away for sessions at EZ and Angel Massage, as well as other "proper" massage spas which included happy endings.

I'm 60 years old, fit, healthy and slim, but I do have an unfortunate problem. No problem with getting turned on / staying hard, but I now find it difficult to finish, and impossible in a condom. This is at least partly due to an operation plus complications in the groin area 3 years ago (I'll spare you the details). For this reason, at home in London, I indulge exclusively in so-called sensual massage. In other words massage + body-to-body + HJ (or BJ).

I stayed in the Sofitel Sukhumvit, thanks to numerous recommendations here. I realise you can get more than adequate quality for half the price in BKK. But how often can you stay in a 5* hotel for only 100 GBP / night? Sofitel in Europe costs 3-4 x the price. Outstanding service, really friendly staff. I loved it. No problem bringing girls in, no one ever stopped me or asked for I'd, always a polite smile from the doorman / woman.

Day 1.

Arrived at hotel 5 pm. Very tired after overnight flight. I really wanted a proper massage. Thought about a legit spa followed by BJ bar. But didn't really want the hassle of two venues. So I decided to go to Thonglor 2 (Soi 24) which I had read offers reasonable massages as well as extras. Chose 120 minute lotion massage, 1200 be, and Guitar from the book / mamasan recommendation. Decent room. She was nice, and her naked massage was lovely and relaxing for 90 minutes or so. Then routine covered BJ, sex and no problem finishing with HJ despite tiredness. 1500 be. Collapsed into bed.

[CallMeTony]

Hi,

Anyone knows where I could find a fit. Muscular lady?

Thanks,

Tony

[Johnie]

Star of Light in Patpong is another option for quick but excellent BJ and even FS. Although pickings might be slim.

I agree with the Star of Light suggestion. I was there again last night and had an excellent BJ right in the bar on the red Sophia facing the bar. OK, I am a bit of an exhibitionist and I get off quicker if I know there are people watching me. Excellent value as well at 700 baht and no need to buy a drink. Sorry I can't remember the girls name but I think that they are all good at their chosen career.

Johnie.

[Traveler1234]

Evening gentlemen.

A question. I have a whole day in Bangkok this Saturday & wondered where I could get my dick polished at about 10:30 am.

Star of Light in Patpong is another option for quick but excellent BJ and even FS. Although pickings might be slim.

[McMaiden]

http://www.healthlandspa.com/

http://www.kingand-i.com/spa/spa/

SL.

Healthland Spas are recommended. 100% no-nonsense. Good and proper massage in clean surroundings. Please do a decent tip for the ladies.

Many of them around town. Book in advance just to be sure. Sometimes, hordes of tourists drop leading to a painful wait.

Cheers,

McM.

[Somewhere15]

I haven't found much but could those that know I have a question about a Thai holiday and the potential interruption of mongering enjoyment. I'll be in Bangkok over Chakri Memorial Day. Is this a holiday that the bars / spas close or are forced to close for?

Thank you,

DS

As far as I remember from former years no alcohol allowed.

In the old days funny enough this was not applicable for International Hotel who had a bar like Hayat (Spasso), Ambassador (Climax) and Sheraton.

But honestly with the military in place I can see that they apply the rule more strict then before.

Most bars are open bar they have signage that they have only non-alcohol (till 23:59).

[Dan San]

I haven't found much but could those that know I have a question about a Thai holiday and the potential interruption of mongering enjoyment. I'll be in Bangkok over Chakri Memorial Day. Is this a holiday that the bars / spas close or are forced to close for?

Thank you,

DS