Nairobi

[Mr Enternational]

My mongering experience has been entirely in SEA and one short stint in Sosua. My last field report was in Thailand, and it was also a jaded and disenchanted report. Seems like a pattern is appearing and perhaps it's a ME problem. I think I may just be becoming a bitter old man. Much sooner than I thought I would. All that just to give readers full disclosure that my report may not be applicable to the average person who visits and mongers in Nairobi; I am just particularly jaded and don't put up with much shit.

Coming from Thailand, I obviously expected Nairobi to be nowhere close to as nice as any Thai cities, but I wasn't quite prepared for how terrible Nairobi would be.

[Deleted by Admin] I have lived in Pattaya for 15 years, but I had a blast in Kenya. I was about to extend my stay while you cut yours short. W Place Apartments was plastered all over this thread so that is where I stayed. No problems. Ran into other Americans and Africans that live in America staying there. Well there was 1 problem. The apartment did not have AC and one chick was talking about how hot she was and that she could not sleep like that, so she wanted to go home but will come back the next day.

Traffic was not that bad. I only had 2 incidents of being stuck in it. No problem because I am relaxing doing shit on my phone. Was not even really hot during my stay. I am from Atlanta and Kenya had nothing on our summers for my few days.

I only had 1 girl that smelled. No deodorant is what it was. Chicks were getting angry with me because I WAS NOT telling them to come over. Little time and 1 dick was my problem. My problem with the chicks was all that weave. I hate chicks with fake hair, but what the fuck can you do in Africa. Then it seems all of their hairlines start in the middle of the top of their heads. Is that from wearing that fake hair all of those years? Because I did not really see it in the 50 amd 60 year old pictures of women in the museums. Only 1 chick that came over had her natural hair. Despite that I had a ball.

Now what I am about to agree with you 100% on is that fucking airport bullshit (oh, and the uber not having gas). Must be the worst one in the world. I didn't know what the hell dude was talking about when we got to the airport and he said I had to get out and walk through security. The first thing I thought about was him stealing my shit. Then I saw everybody else doing the same thing. Still no idea why. I could have just left the shit I was not supposed to have in the car since you don't bring your bags and they do not check the car or driver. Then he had to go up to the front of some line before dropping me off. I am like mf let me out here. I do not want to carry my shit so far. But he was talking about the police watching or whatever.

Then the line to get inside the airport was long as fuck. It was snaking around. Even still, that one was quicker than the security line after paspport control. Long ass wait in the check in line. I checked in online but still had to check in my scuba gear. My flight was supposed to leave at 1145 pm but when I got to the check in desk the chick said 1 am. During my trip I was on 4 different African airlines and all 4 of those mfs was at least 1 hour late. All the while during all the security shit, I was saying to myself that I should have arrived 2 hours earlier. I called Uber at 8 pm from Westlands for the 1145 pm flight. I figured out the problem in the second security line when when it was my turn at bat. The same mf that looks at the xray machine is the one that has to search the bag if he sees something suspicious. I carry plastic esting utensils and that mf took them out of my bag bending them and shit. I said why do why'all always put yours hands all over my shit. I have to eat with that. You can plainly see that it is plastic. Then I was in duty free putzing around and some guy at a nearby gate missed his flight. He was raising holy hell, and rightfully so.

I went to the club to eat. Went the the gate to wait. I saw people getting up in line like we were about to board, so I got up too. After about 2 t minutes of seeing some folks grouping up at the front of the line one of the agents walked down the line. I asked her what the problem was. She said that some people do not have the proper documents. Evidently wherever they came from needs a yellow fever car to enter either Thailand or China where the flight was ending, but they did not have it. Well make some type of announcement instead of having the blind leading the blind. Most of us were in a line we did not have to be in because we saw people lining up.

I can't wait to get back to Kenya, but I am not looking forward to that airport again. I will write more reports on my experiences later. Then I learned that Black Panther Wakanda stuff evidently comes from the Swahili Wakenya.

[BPalacio]

*Turns out I have entered my grumpy and bitter curmudgeon phase of life.

Planned on having a sex-centered trip to Nairobi for a little under 2 weeks. I cut it short and left in 5 days. Couldn't bear it.

My mongering experience has been entirely in SEA and one short stint in Sosua. My last field report was in Thailand, and it was also a jaded and disenchanted report. Seems like a pattern is appearing and perhaps it's a ME problem. I think I may just be becoming a bitter old man. Much sooner than I thought I would. All that just to give readers full disclosure that my report may not be applicable to the average person who visits and mongers in Nairobi; I am just particularly jaded and don't put up with much shit.

Coming from Thailand, I obviously expected Nairobi to be nowhere close to as nice as any Thai cities, but I wasn't quite prepared for how terrible Nairobi would be. My apartment was in Westlands and it was lackluster to say the least. Scratch that. It was a dump. Was situated near a club I guess and wasn't sound insulated at all so you hear raucous music until the wee hours of the morning. The apartment itself was tiny, and the hot water would cut in and out like the water heater was struggling for its life.

If you think traffic in SEA is bad, wait till you get a glimpse at the shitshow that is Kenyan traffic. You'll be waiting in traffic for an eternity because drivers have to fight their way for an inch on streets where there's not even any traffic signals or any signage to control traffic. Cars are constantly running on near E, and 1 out of every 2 Bolts / Ubers I took the driver had to stop to get gas or fill their tires. They do this without asking you and consequently add another chunk of time to your ETA because you have to fight to get back into traffic. Also, the cars here never have their AC on and so you're left to bake in shitboxes that have their windows rolled down.

Which leads me to my next point. The windows being rolled down inevitably results in beggars coming to your window during stand-still traffic and aggressively trying to get your money. At best, it'll just be a shithead mother carrying her child and shoving her child in your face while she asks you for money to feed the kid. At worst, you'll have an aggressive prick literally reach into the car and try to feel you up or grab something off of you. Had to yell at the driver to roll his damn windows up because it apparently wasn't obvious that a passenger wouldn't take too kindly to being assaulted in traffic.

In the end, this all wouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things if the women were worth it. My goal, after all, was to fuck. I didn't care about exploring this shithole city, and I couldn't care less to try any of the food. During my 5-day trip, slept with at least 2 women a day. One day out of the 5, I slept with 3. I paid them all 5 K shillings, with some getting another 1 K for transport. Some were good women that listened to my commands, but quite a few of them were terrible performers and were quite unwilling to follow through with what we discussed.

Along with this, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE WOMEN SMELLED AWFUL. I cannot for the life of me understand it. They all, supposedly, took showers but they all wreaked of body odor. Well, to be accurate, they had this sickening combination of perfume mixed with body odor that makes me nauseated just recalling. I don't understand how this happens. It completely ruined sex and was the final and largest straw that broke the camel's back and made me cut my trip short and fly back home defeated.

To say I am disappointed would be woefully understating my thoughts. My last trip report about Pattaya was quite negative, but I now understand I was quite unfair. I've come to this realization after seeing and experiencing Kenyan women. I will not take the hygiene, the submissiveness, and the skincare of Thai women for granted moving forward after having experienced the abject terrible conditions I found Kenyan women to be in. I sought a mongering trip to Nairobi because I sought curvy and more sexually aggressive women in bed, but what I got was women with poor skin, abhorrent body odor, and just plain unpleasantness.

Maybe 5 days wasn't long enough to break through and overcome the unpleasantries I came across in Nairobi, but I do not care to waste any more time or money to find out. Maybe this is just the ramblings of a bitter curmudgeon, but I left Nairobi absolutely disgusted. I am in disbelief with myself that I actually stomached my commitment to fucking 2 women a day. It was not worth it. I should have just gone back to SEA or just jerked off.

The silver lining in all of this is that this was a humbling and a good trip for introspection. I made a dumb choice because of the little head. I knew that Nairobi wouldn't be anywhere near as nice as SEA, but I thought it'd be worth it just to sleep with beautiful shapely African women. I was wrong. It was much worse than I thought, and the women were terrible.

Moving forward, maybe I will try South America or just retreat back to SEA. Despite being similarly impoverished, Laos and Cambodia blow Nairobi out of the water in terms of women. I found SEA farm girls kept their hygiene and skincare better than college girls in Nairobi.

Africa is not for me it seems.


**EDIT: I forgot to mention my experience at the airport. The Nairobi airport is an absolute shitshow and was the rotten, shit-covered cherry on top. You go through security something like 4 different times, and then, if you're lucky like I was, you get your bags randomly searched before you can board your plane. The security queues each time are absolute madhouses where people are frantically trying to get through because they're about to miss their flights. When you pass your first security check, you queue for passport control and you witness yet another hysterical scene: childish passport control officers slinging shit and acting in the most unprofessional manners just to inconvenience and stress passengers. You'll be waiting in a queue that moves at a snail's pace...only to have it pushed BACK more often than FORWARD because you'll have these panic-stricken passengers about to miss their flight frantically ushered to the front. Again, just to clarify, I don't blame these passengers at all; I got to the airport 4 hours before my flight and I only barely made it to my flight because of all the dumbass, for-show security measures and bureaucracy. Don't believe me about the for-show, useless nature of the security? My taxi driver told me to give the pre-airport checkpoint bribe money so I could just skip the security checkpoint and didn't have to exit the car. I saw the same shit happen in the open for other checkpoints. Just fucking ridiculous and just a fitting last fuck you to visitors before they leave the shithole country.

[Evinmors]

I have a 6. 5 hrs layover at Kenyatta Airport, Narobi. I don't feel like going through immigration, and was just wondering if there is fun to be had at the airport. Long shot, I know. But well, one never knows (and yes I read the forum).

All the best!

[Chris Bigdog]

Saw giraffe's went on a tour of Kibera and met some nice young girls.

Interesting. Was in Mombasa in June and November; incredible amount of matches on my Gold-Tinder. So, next time I will try Bumble, too. Thanks.

[Reiner Otto]

For me, Tinder turned up zero matches. That Bumble was a gold mine though.

Interesting. Was in Mombasa in June and November; incredible amount of matches on my Gold-Tinder. So, next time I will try Bumble, too. Thanks.

[Radical Guy]

FYI, as has been discussed previously, sexy toys are illegal in Kenya and bringing them in to the country, through customs, for visiting your lady or finding one or a few to spend time with, is not advisable as it will be confiscated and you'll be slapped with a hefty fine. I've been 2 months in Kenya now and found my special lady here, which I'm greatful for. She's running her own business here selling sex toys in Kenya out of her shop / shelfspace in Nairobi as well as through social media to local women mainly, but obviously I thought of this forum as it's been a topic of discussion before.

If anyone is interested in getting one or a few items for some extra spice, send me a message and I can hook you up. Fast shipping can be sorted to any location country wide, hotel or local pick up point. I know many girls (and guys) would like some extra spice and fun playing around but it's quite difficult to find these items in Kenya. Payment can be made through mpesa, paypal / similar or through crypto for more anonymity if required. Not trying to make any money for myself, just helping my lady out making some money on her own. Aloha.

I've brought sex toys into Kenya numerous times in my checked bag. I've never had a problem.

[MrJibb]

FYI, as has been discussed previously, sexy toys are illegal in Kenya and bringing them in to the country, through customs, for visiting your lady or finding one or a few to spend time with, is not advisable as it will be confiscated and you'll be slapped with a hefty fine. I've been 2 months in Kenya now and found my special lady here, which I'm greatful for. She's running her own business here selling sex toys in Kenya out of her shop / shelfspace in Nairobi as well as through social media to local women mainly, but obviously I thought of this forum as it's been a topic of discussion before.

If anyone is interested in getting one or a few items for some extra spice, send me a message and I can hook you up. Fast shipping can be sorted to any location country wide, hotel or local pick up point. I know many girls (and guys) would like some extra spice and fun playing around but it's quite difficult to find these items in Kenya. Payment can be made through mpesa, paypal / similar or through crypto for more anonymity if required. Not trying to make any money for myself, just helping my lady out making some money on her own. Aloha.

[Neddy69]

I'm goin next month for the first time so I splurged for the Tinder Gold. I matched with a bunch, but They've all been straight headaches. I hope its better on the ground when I get there. Are there any places like the Brasilian termas to take care of your business in Mombasa Nairobi. I just don't need a chica around all the time.

If you want Brasilian termas guess what. Go to Brazil. While Prostitution is NOT illegal running a brothel is. In Africa is free enterprise system. You can go to massage parlors or there's a few strip clubs in River Road. Take numbers and fix a date. Tinder a headache? LOL. Welcome to Africa.

Mwalimu.

[Mr Enternational]

I'm goin next month for the first time so I splurged for the Tinder Gold. I matched with a bunch, but They've all been straight headaches. I hope its better on the ground when I get there. Are there any places like the Brasilian termas to take care of your business in Mombasa Nairobi. I just don't need a chica around all the time.

Why do you say chica as if Kenya is a Spanish speaking country? You do not have to have a girl around all the time. She will come and get the money and go back home.

No need to do it so early. I started when I got there. I was only there 3 days and had more action than I could shake a stick at. For me, Tinder turned up zero matches. That Bumble was a gold mine though.

Go to 207 if you want to fuck girls on premises. 4000 shillings ($27) for 90 minutes. Going to write my reports on everything when I get a chance.

[Lakeside32]

I'm goin next month for the first time so I splurged for the Tinder Gold. I matched with a bunch, but They've all been straight headaches. I hope its better on the ground when I get there. Are there any places like the Brasilian termas to take care of your business in Mombasa Nairobi. I just don't need a chica around all the time.

[Radical Guy]

What's the best approach with Tinder? Do you just openly ask them for a hookup, or is there a more subtle way of doing it?

I simply say that I'm visiting for vacation and hoping to find a special lady to meet and spend time with. Once I screen out the obvious hard core P4 P sex workers and those with kids, I chat with a select few on WhatsApp. I never promise a full blown relationship, but I'll leave open the possibility. Once I find 2-3 I want to meet, they are real girlfriend experiences. I have yet to select one who didn't practically want to tear off my clothes once we met. No discussions about money, though I'll sometimes spring a few bux for their Uber ride.

[JoeF479]

There's absolutely no chance I'm getting on tinder. I have a family. Judge me if you want, but remember we are all mongers here. I was long before I met my wife, and I've tried to reform myself, but I just love pussy and the thrill of new pussy too much. I'm a terrible human being I know.

So would love for a local to offer some advice on a good spot if I can slip away for a few hours.

Just get on Tinder dude. I'm currently in Mombasa with a 14 hour lay over in Nairobi flying out. Changed my location to Nairobi and I shit you not had over 200 likes in a day. Select one, get it done, come to their house or rent something, it's not rocket science really, TIA.

[Kavkaz48]

Just get on Tinder dude. I'm currently in Mombasa with a 14 hour lay over in Nairobi flying out. Changed my location to Nairobi and I shit you not had over 200 likes in a day. Select one, get it done, come to their house or rent something, it's not rocket science really, TIA.

What's the best approach with Tinder? Do you just openly ask them for a hookup, or is there a more subtle way of doing it?

[MrJibb]

1st let me start with I know, I know. RTFF. I have and I will go back and re-read. That said looking for some advice. I'll be there in late May, early June on a family trip. I will not have a lot of free time and I definitely will not be able to go out at night on my own, and even if by some miracle I'm able to, I won't have a place to bring anyone. Therefore I'm asking the Nairobi experts here, what are some good places that I maybe able to goto during the day if I get 2-3 hours of freedom? I'm staying initially in Hurlingham, then in Village Market and finally most likely Garden City. I had some small success near Hurlingham at a massage place previously. I also was able to just get a BJ at a massage place near Westlands once, but it seemed like I got good mileage there and it wasn't a common thing. Both places I just happened to walk by and then at a later time went back and went in.

If any one has specific day time recommendations please help a fellow monger out.

Just get on Tinder dude. I'm currently in Mombasa with a 14 hour lay over in Nairobi flying out. Changed my location to Nairobi and I shit you not had over 200 likes in a day. Select one, get it done, come to their house or rent something, it's not rocket science really, TIA.

[Perfecto101]

Hello friends I'm visiting Nairobi for short time like a week or so and I google escorts in Nairobi and I had couple of websites come up my question is how safe and accurate these websites are having an escort from the sites to come to your incall or you go their incalls.

Sorry if this has been asked before.