Nairobi

[Kampala3030]

Just read both your posts. This is not a mongering report. This is literature! Fantastic.

A nasty encounter in Solwezi Zambia recently left me taking a trip down memory lane relieving some of the nasty, macabre and somewhat hilarious encounters I have had with working girls while out mongering.

[Local Cowboy]

a nasty encounter in solwezi zambia recently left me taking a trip down memory lane relieving some of the nasty, macabre and somewhat hilarious encounters i have had with working girls while out mongering.

here are my top five:

number 1: smelly pussy

i picked up a stunning looking girl in solwezi in zambia recently and what looked like a promising night turned out to be a disaster of biblical proportions (more details posted in the zambia section).

once in the room after fondling her and she had undressed, the most revolting smell imaginable filled the room; her pussy smelled worse than roadkill, a skunk’s fart and rotting carrion all rolled into one.

i thought of sending her to shower but after some nauseating seconds, i vomited and promptly shouted at her to get dressed and get the hell out of my room. she had the audacity to ask for her payment and a physical altercation almost ensued.

i pushed her out of the room and it took me a few seconds to stop retching in disgust. my stomach was recoiling in protest. i sprayed the room with some deodorant but still there was an ugly sniff in the air. i could not sleep the whole night because i was getting stung by an angry army of mosquitoes. the trauma of it all has turned my libido from the usual billy-goat 150% to an all time erectile dysfunctional level.

number 2: encounter with faggots

i was sipping a cold tusker quietly at simmers nairobi when two men sitting next to me said hallo. i didn’t think much of it and we immediately begun discussing kenyan politics animatedly while marveling at the shenanigans our kenyan politicians engage in. after one too many rounds, they decided that we move on to annie oakley’s and since i had not identified any trollop that had captured my fancy, i readily agreed since i thought i would probably get better take away fish at annies.

we jumped into their 4 x 4 and once in the car, one of the men fondled my knee and attempted to kiss me. i froze for a few seconds and sobered up as fast as a scud missile fired at the iraqi’s. i realized that i had all along been chatting with a couple of faggots who probably thought i was one of them. the dude tried to rub my balls and a major scuffle ensued. the one driving tried to assist his mate and the car promptly swerved off the road and landed in a ditch near sagret hotel. we brawled for a few minutes and i finally managed to get away. i had misread the situation at simmers in such an amateurish fashion that it was not even funny. i didn’t realize that there are middle-aged, portly and ugly faggots around. i thought they were all girlish looking as seen on tv. how naïve, i almost got my butt-hole deflowered in car. sheesh!


number 3: nasty thongs

i meet a tall hot looking mamacita with a figure to kill for at florida nightclub in nairobi. the place was crawling with mzungu’s and as usual it was quite difficult for me (a local and ugly) to score such a stunner with such mzungu competition around. i finally managed get her attention and after exchanging jambo’s, she asked me for a drink and after i bought her one, she took off before i could say condoleeza rice. i next spotted her dancing on the dance floor with some old white mzungu. i cut my losses and decided to lick my wounds at the counter with several tusker baridi’s.

after a long time, she magically reappeared and being the experienced monger who understands the game, i knew she had failed to score her preferred mzungu and she had decided to "settle" with me. i threw my pride out of the window because her delicious booty was sending sirens screaming loudly deep in my balls.

anyway, we later agreed on 1. 500 ksh for the night and retired to my place. i was so excited that i had managed to score such i stunner that i was all over her like a cat on a rat. i started licking her boobs and her belly then pulled off her jeans. i licked her navel, the bits of her pubic hair that were peeping out through the g-strings and also her pussy through the fabric.

i decided to pull off her g-string with my teeth and in the process i was hit by a stunning shocker. she had major skid-marks on her g-string. a thick line of shit coated her g-string. she had probably gotten drunk and took a dump without bothering to use tissue paper afterwards. nasty! nasty! nasty! .

need i say more? the night ended prematurely with me disgusted, angry and still horny. besides, i had to drive her all the way back to florida. damn!

number 4: huge pussy

i met some 9/10 somali stunner at simmers in nairobi who roundly rejected my advances each time. she repeatedly told me that she only sleeps with foreigners (mzungu’s, indians nigerians etc) since kenyans are "wanyama" (swahili for beasts) who shag and then refuse to pay up. i offered her the money severally upfront on different occasions but she repeatedly refused saying that she may get to my place or the lodge and i would start beating her up.

anyway, to cut the long story short, after investing a lot of money on beers and cigarettes for her and her ‘sister’s over a period of almost a month; she finally agreed to give me a long overdue shag for 2. 000 ksh. it was a bit on the higher side but curiosity made me oblige.

once in the room, she refused to give me a bj or even engage in any foreplay. she simply undressed and spread her legs wide open for me to enter and get over it.

the sight of her pussy was shocking. she had a big gaping hole down there, so big that she could easily take on a donkey’s dick and a horse’s dick at the same time. i gathered the courage to enter her and my dick felt like a pin plugging in and out of a volcano’s crater. . total disaster!

number 5: forgotten raincoat

while in addis ababa-ethiopia, i was mesmerized by the sheer number of 9/10 to 10/10 stunners all over the place. ethiopians are bloody beautiful. setting a monger like me loose in addis ababa is like letting loose a monkey in a maize-field.

i went to some nightclub and picked up a hot ethiopian number. she could not speak any english and that made the encounter even more intriguing, sensual and arousing. i simply bought tonnes of drinks and we danced the night away. i eventually got as high as a kite and as horny as a deviant catholic priest.

negotiating for a price for a shag was a tricky affair. i placed her hand on my crotch and gestured to the exit. being drunk, i simply pulled out a bunch of birrs and handed them to her. she took some amount and returned the rest to me. off we went.

once at the hotel, i was licking her all over and she was moaning like a porn starlet. she had the smoothest mullato skin i had ever seen and long silky natural hair (unlike the fake hair extensions and weaves in kenya). before i had realized it, i was deep inside her pussy thrusting hard like a bmw piston while she was scratching my back and moaning sensually. . i glanced over at the dressing table and saw the pack of condoms looking sadly at me, unwrapped and untouched.

shit! i had forgotten my raincoat! i could not stop though, i kept shagging.

the next few days i could not work, i kept thinking of diseases, viruses and infections. on the flight home i was cursing myself and promising myself that i would be faithful to my wife forever and ever. i managed that for a week.

so, fellow mongers, have any of you experienced such howlers in your mongering adventures?

editor's note: i certainly hope that the author or somebody else will post a link to this report in the reports of distinction thread. please click here for more information.

[GoodEnough]

GE:

Good to know that you had a great time in Africa! Just pure curiousity: do you like the African girls better than pinays now? :)

BTW, in December I will be back in the Fils. Just in case you should be in AC then, simply pm me.


Cheers - Hesekiels

Hesekiels:

I lived and worked in Africa for five years in between SE Asia work, so being with African women was not a new experience for me. It's a difference experience but I would not judge it as better or worse. I love the directness of African women and the utter lack of bullshit about sex. I also like the lack of coyness and almost total lack of embarrassment. I love the grace and sweetness of Filipinas and the wide-eyed wonder with which some of them look at the world. Both situations are good, and I just try to enjoy wherever I am.

I don't go to AC, so I won't be there when you're around. However, if you ever get to Davao or Manila let me know and we can get together.

GE

[Hesekiels]

I just arrived back in Manila and will be back in Davao, where I live, tomorrow afternoon. I will probably be back in Nairobi in late January

GE:

Good to know that you had a great time in Africa! Just pure curiousity: do you like the African girls better than pinays now? :)

BTW, in December I will be back in the Fils. Just in case you should be in AC then, simply pm me.


Cheers - Hesekiels

[GoodEnough]

thanks to all of the guys on this board whose information and insights made my recently-completed trip to nairobi so enjoyable. i just arrived back in manila and will be back in davao, where i live, tomorrow afternoon. i will probably be back in nairobi in late january, so if any of your regular visitors are going to be there at that time, the first few beers are on me.

i wanted to add the note that on my last evening at holiday inn, i noticed a large number of solo ladies, all of them in the business, rep001tered around the pool/outdoor bar area by about 9 in the evening. some of them were outstanding, others, in fact, the majority, were not. i have no idea of the financial expectations since i didn't avail myself of the opportunity but there was a lot on offer.

the outdoor pool and bar area of the hotel is a very nice place to bring someone or to relax prior to going out. it's got live music, a large snack menu, and decent drinks. though i met people from all over europe, and a few from south africa, the majority of the foreigners during my three-day stay there were british, which may account for the baked beans served with breakfast in the morning. i forget if i mentioned in a prior post that breakfast is included in the price of the room and the breakfasts were substantial. i think it's served from about 6 or 6:30 until 10. if you have someone with you though, it's going to cost you another ksh1,000 for the privilege of having her eat with you.

this was my first trip back to nairobi in ten years, and i was impressed with how far the place has come. it's substantially cleaner than it used to be and, from the general feeling of the place (and what i've been told by kenyans) it's also substantially safer. i only walked around a couple of center city neighborhoods a couple of times--especially in the immediate environs of simmers--but i didn't get hassled at all and never felt uneasy.

ge

[Hesekiels]

Holiday Inn is a great place. No one pays any attention when you bring a lady, and there's no registration and no extra fee. ... I think I've got a rate of about $175 a night...,

That's indeed excellent news although the room rate is a little high. Maybe one can get a slightly better deal via internet? However, next time I'll try Holiday Inn as well. Thanks for the information, GE!


Cheers - Hesekiels

[GoodEnough]

This is the Klub House, and it's a series of restaurants and bars housed in a single building. The one night I stopped by there was nothing happening at all and I was told by a Kenyan friend than it's more of a couples place than a pick up bar. From what I can gather, K2 is more of the same at a different location. I have not been to Casablanca, but I'm told by another friend here that it's a large, upscale disco and there are lots of ladies hanging around, though not necessarily pros. However, here, as elsewhere in Africa the dividing lines between pro, semi-pro and non-pro are pretty fluid, so I'm never sure how to characterize some of the women.

After a month in Southern Sudan, I was starved for some decent food and wine and so last night went out to Alan Bobbes, a French Restaurant that's been around for more than 40 years. It was on Riverside Drive, and took about 20 minutes from central Nairobi to get there. The taxi ride was Ksh500. I was accompanied by the Kenyan lady I met on my previous trip.

The good news is that this is an authentic French restaurant, with a decent wine list, and done up in a sort of Provencal style, with outdoor and indoor eating areas. It's all quite romantic, with soft jazz piped in and a typical Bistro-type chalk board menu. The service and the food were excellent and the place seemed to be frequented by some of Kenya's more affluent in-crowd. We shared a decent bottle of Bordeaux, and I had a duck confit and smoked salmon. I insisted on crepes suzettes and creme brulee for dessert. The bill for two, at $137 was not small, but after a month in Juba, it was well worth the price and the drive. This is not a place to go pick up women obviously, but it's a delightful destination if you happen to be with someone whose company you really enjoy.

GE

[Carl Schmitt]

Yes. In fact I was willing to ask the same question. May be it's Klub House but I don't know. Could you, please use code in PM, and decyphired language in the thread???

I believe we need a little clarafication regarding K1 & K2. If members are confused as to what they pricisely represent, he or she would not be alone. I`m one of the "kinda" lost.

Chatting to a chick today, she seemed to believe K1 is referred to as Casablanca.

Could some good mate in "the know" provide us with a little confirmation? Never been to Casablanca personally, obviously we have to rectify this next trip.

[Kampala3030]

Noddy: After ten seconds *really* hard work on Google

http://www.klubhouse.co.ke/

K1 and K2 explained here should help a bit.

I believe we need a little clarafication regarding K1 & K2.

[AfAsia]

I believe we need a little clarafication regarding K1 & K2. If members are confused as to what they pricisely represent, he or she would not be alone. I`m one of the "kinda" lost.

Chatting to a chick today, she seemed to believe K1 is referred to as Casablanca.

Could some good mate in "the know" provide us with a little confirmation? Never been to Casablanca personally, obviously we have to rectify this next trip.

[GoodEnough]

And the answer is that the Holiday Inn is a great place. No one pays any attention when you bring a lady, and there's no registration and no extra fee. In fact the place is so sprawling, laid out as it is around two large garden areas, that I don't think anyone at the front desk would even notice. There are two entrances to the hotel, one of which does not pass the desk, so there would be no way for management to keep track at any rate.

Hooked up last night with the same lady I had met by chance the last time I was here. It was a tempestuous night, fueled no doubt by the Cialis that I had purchased at a local pharmacy. The price of Cialis is high, at about $15 a pill, but there was no hassle at all buying it. The pharmacist just asked how many I wanted. From its salubrious effects, I have no doubt that what I bought was the real product.

I'm in a standard room here, and it's just fine. An enormous bed and a nice bathroom but no mini-bar. I think I've got a rate of about $175 a night, and I prefer this to the Serene where I was paying a hell of a lot more. Wireless internet in the room 24/7 costs $15 a day and the service is reliable and quick.

This will definitely be my hotel of choice in Nairobi.

I did go take a look at K1 last night about 8 PM, but it was empty, and I was fairly tired from the day's journey from Sudan, so I did not hang around long. On the way back I stopped at Simmers and it was jammed. Some of the women were 7-8 on the goodenough flexi-scale. One young lady of 20, with long hair, a gorgeous butt and huge tits immediately sat down at my table and I did buy her a beer, but she was pushy, and I had already made arrangements to meet the other lady, so I politely declines. I hadn't realized that Simmers is such a happening place in the evening. Very laid back. Very inexpensive and I would guess that it's the first stop on the migratory path followed by the ladies, who will wind up at Florida/Madhouse later in the evening.

After Juba, Nairobi seems like the height of civilization to me.

GE

[Kampala3030]

the pavement. we'd call it a gastro-pub here in the uk. does good food but you can also watch sports on tv and get hammered on tuskers. plenty of jungus and expats of all sorts. the women here. of all sorts. do regard themselves as higher class. i went here with the lady from madhouse mentioned in my previous report. was fairly amusing as we had agreed to meet in madhouse early on (it was dead as a doornail), i suggested pavement, she said fine, had a very nice meal, filled up on expensive food and beer, returned to hilton, with $50 surcharge for her simply being there.

like i mentioned before the lady i was with was the obvious "type" that people would associate with madhouse, ****ty revealing dresses et al. nice. it was fairly amusing getting disapproving looks from various bouncers and all-sorts in pavement. especially as the night wore on and finding the pavement ready to close, on passing to the toilet i overheard various jungus with jumpers draped over their shoulders as in the 80s ask various statuesque african women. who had spent hours making themselves look delectable. if they were "doing business". some people make it obvious, others pretend they are simply on the pull.

i like the pavement. i'd take my parents there if they were ever in nairobi. i'd also take someone i met in madhouse, they deserve a kes5, 000 meal from time to time. its business.

editor's note: i certainly hope that the author or somebody else will post a link to this report in the reports of distinction thread. please click here for more information.

[GoodEnough]

Kampala3030, thanks for the detailed reply. Your experience at the Hilton paralleled mine at the Serena a month ago. No one cared if I brought a woman back to the room so long as she had an ID and I was willing to pay the $50. She did. I was, and voila! That was that.

I spent some time at Madhouse during my last visit, so I know exactly what you mean. I was looking for something a little (well, actually a lot) quieter with a bit more class. Looks like I will have to give K1 a try. I also heard a little about the Pavement, but I thought it was strictly a restaurant. Guess it's a little more than that. Maybe I will just venture to whichever one is closest to my hotel and take it from there.

I'll be arriving in Nairobi tomorrow from Juba South Sudan, so wherever I wind up is going to seem like paradise by comparison. That's for sure.

Thanks again for taking the time to respond.

GE

[Carl Schmitt]

... she was required to give her identity card and I paid some extra dollars on check out (I think about $50). She was quite obviously the "type" that you meet in Madhouse, but the staff made little or no fuss and that was that...

Thank you, the two problems in this are:
1°) The cost, it is (IMHO) absurd to pay $50 to bribe, it may be the same price you have given to the girl. In 680 hotel, when they accept the bribe, you'll pay between 200 and 1000 kes!
2°) The ID, everyone has not an ID in Kenya.

[Kampala3030]

I stayed at the Hilton Nairobi for one night. Clever people managed to sell me the Executive Suite for 300 US. Very nice but not much I could do with two showers so I nicked the complimentary dressing gown. Anyway I brought a woman back there, she was required to give her identity card and I paid some extra dollars on check out (I think about $50). She was quite obviously the "type" that you meet in Madhouse, but the staff made little or no fuss and that was that. Given the relative nature of the establishments I would assume that Holiday Inn runs much the same policy. Incidentally, there's no point emailing them to ask them. I asked a hotel in Mombasa if they allowed overnight guests via email and the answer in writing was a straight "No". When I arrived it was explained to me by the madam that I was allowed girlfriends in my room, they just have to be registered at the desk when you bring them, no extra charge. When I protested "I can't beieve you are saying this (in front of a rather sexy receptionist), got a broad smile and told "This is Mombasa". They are just being discreet until they see you face to face.

On the K1 versus Florida question, I have been to K1 and the Madhouse, but neither of the either. K1 has pool tables and lots of little cubby hole areas. Its generally more intimate and relaxed. Madhouse is a like a football pitch and you have to shout to be heard, especially later in the night. In Madhouse you will get the more professional type. Some are very nice looking. If you want a wide choice and to leave after 15 minutes with someone then Madhouse is the place. K1, on the other hand is more of a pub than a club, but very nice and plenty of distractions should you get unwanted attention. On a good night in Nairobi I'd plan for either K1 or the Pavement first and see how you go. I agree with your freinds opinion. If nothing of interest then head off to Madhouse for last orders. Just mind how drunk they've got before then!

Hope this is of interest/use.

Since no one responded to my question about the Holiday Inn I guess no one who reads this board has ever stayed there. I'm hoping for at least one response to my next question which is about the merits of K1 and/or K2 relative to the Florida bars. I met a guy here today who thinks that the "K" bars offer a higher end type of lady. For any of your guys who have been there. Is this the case? Is it worth checking out?

Thanks in advance.

GE

EDITOR'S NOTE: I certainly hope that the author or somebody else will post a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please Click Here for more information.