China Women - Opinions and Advice

[Dan Hawaii]

I'm not sure. Yes, there are a lot of affairs in China, but the fact that they're mostly done in secret seems to imply that it's considered a no-no. Also, we see high-level officials in China getting busted for having affairs. So there is some element of Chinese culture (at present, anyway) against this idea.

If I could go around telling everyone (friends, boss, colleagues, potential mates, and the parents of potential mates) that I'm looking for an "open marriage," and find that they all consider it to be normal, that would be great. But I haven't found that kind of culture in China or in the West (although there is the subculture of "polyamory" where it is perfectly OK to say that -- but that's a small subculture).

I heard Mormons or other certain religions allow multiple partners??? Maybe you guys need to find a girl of that kind of religion that allows multiple sex partners. ;) And pretend you are of that religion or truly convert.

[World Guy Sh]

Getting serviced is quite frankly a commodity in Asia, and it is akin to getting your hair cut, or getting a manicure.

Or in many places all possible at the same time.

[Clean Gene]

Some time ago, I had sex with a young lady of doubtful virtue. I did make the precaution of a pack of condoms. Snuck one on before the act (I didn't want to act like I mistrusted her cleanliness).

Wow! She was hot! Her pussy sent electric shock from my head to toe.

I tucked my dick (with condom still on) in my jeans and rode a bus home. The goop on the condom had leaked into my shorts and onto my roid (which was in bad shape from the spicy food). And I got a nasty infection far away from medical care.

Point: Roll off comdom and clean up immediately after.

[Ragnarok42]

Follow my 4 rules (plus1) with Asian gals and you'll have peace, prosperity and happiness!

I have already put it on my desk next to my "Shit happens" sign.

Rules to live by ;-)

[SE Asia Joe]

I feel that most asian women (born in asia) tolerate their husband mongering. Just don't flaunt or embarass her about it. The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. I do not think that the wives are so stupid not to know about it when their husband have mistress across the border. Just as long as they are secure financially they usually stays silent about what the other half is doing. I think that most of these wives have 'squirreled" away enough money already.

just my POV

Ditto
Follow my 4 rules (plus1) with Asian gals and you'll have peace, prosperity and happiness!
SEAJ

[Ace Gallant]

I feel that most asian women (born in asia) tolerate their husband mongering. Just don't flaunt or embarass her about it. The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. I do not think that the wives are so stupid not to know about it when their husband have mistress across the border. Just as long as they are secure financially they usually stays silent about what the other half is doing. I think that most of these wives have 'squirreled" away enough money already.

just my POV

IMHO:

Asian women; As long as you bring back the money to keep them happy and they think that they are in control of their domain (like the finance, the house, the kids), they do not care on what is happening in your outside life. But you have to make sure you had got their "Domain" right.

Westerner Women; I control your love life, you do not control mine. But if you give me what I wanted and what I needed, I'll go through thick or thin with you.

Well, this applies to most of the women I know and had experience with. Of course it sound very generalizing but there are always exceptions.

Enjoy!
AG

[Bnlee2]

My wife is Asian ( born in Taiwan, Canadian citizen) and I do agree that Asian women are more tolerant about their men going out and have WG than their western counterparts.

That being said I do know some Chinese girls who would not tolerate this type of behavior, telling me that if their lover / husband ever did something like that they would leave them immediately. Oddly enough this girl once told me she wanted to come over to my hotel to have sex all the while knowing that I was married (so I guess hypocrisy exists in all cultures).

I feel that most asian women (born in asia) tolerate their husband mongering. Just don't flaunt or embarass her about it. The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. I do not think that the wives are so stupid not to know about it when their husband have mistress across the border. Just as long as they are secure financially they usually stays silent about what the other half is doing. I think that most of these wives have 'squirreled" away enough money already.

just my POV

[Ragnarok42]

Rag,

Can I ask you a personal question? You don't have to answer me on this board if it's too personal. But is your wife asian?

My wife is Asian ( born in Taiwan, Canadian citizen) and I do agree that Asian women are more tolerant about their men going out and have WG than their western counterparts.

That being said I do know some Chinese girls who would not tolerate this type of behavior, telling me that if their lover / husband ever did something like that they would leave them immediately. Oddly enough this girl once told me she wanted to come over to my hotel to have sex all the while knowing that I was married (so I guess hypocrisy exists in all cultures).

[Night Cat]

Perhaps a purely Anglo-Saxon take on what is marriage? Perhaps an over generalization?

SEAJ

I'm not sure. Yes, there are a lot of affairs in China, but the fact that they're mostly done in secret seems to imply that it's considered a no-no. Also, we see high-level officials in China getting busted for having affairs. So there is some element of Chinese culture (at present, anyway) against this idea.

If I could go around telling everyone (friends, boss, colleagues, potential mates, and the parents of potential mates) that I'm looking for an "open marriage," and find that they all consider it to be normal, that would be great. But I haven't found that kind of culture in China or in the West (although there is the subculture of "polyamory" where it is perfectly OK to say that -- but that's a small subculture).

[SE Asia Joe]

It's probably the most practical solution. However, we probably wouldn't be having this discussion if we didn't feel that there was some issue of dishonesty or hypocrisy in this, and it can only be an issue if we care about integrity (which we do, apparently).

It's like claiming to be a monk (who should have zero sex), and having sex -- one claims a certain status, and enjoys the benefits of that status, while not really upholding its principles. To me, marriage (having only one sex partner) is just one step away from being a monk. That's why I'm not married. I don't want to sign up for a commitment that I don't expect to fulfill. On the other hand, people who uphold that commitment should be free to enjoy that status, just as a monk who truly lives as a monk should be entitled to label himself as such.

I think men want it both ways because they need both things (a long-term partner, and variety), so maybe it's not men that are flawed, but society that's flawed. Perhaps someday society will change to allow people to have what they need. But it won't happen by men pretending to uphold the principles of marriage while not doing so -- this just perpetuates the status quo. Maybe it will happen by men simply rejecting marriage as an institution, and just living with a partner. But this probably won't become the majority in our lifetimes. Maybe later.

Perhaps a purely Anglo-Saxon take on what is marriage? Perhaps an over generalization?

SEAJ

[Night Cat]

Anyhow after he lectures me, i feel a bit down and i tend to self -reflect for 1 minute, and then i go off to monger again anyhow. But perhaps marriage and mongering outside is the perfect formula.

It's probably the most practical solution. However, we probably wouldn't be having this discussion if we didn't feel that there was some issue of dishonesty or hypocrisy in this, and it can only be an issue if we care about integrity (which we do, apparently).

It's like claiming to be a monk (who should have zero sex), and having sex -- one claims a certain status, and enjoys the benefits of that status, while not really upholding its principles. To me, marriage (having only one sex partner) is just one step away from being a monk. That's why I'm not married. I don't want to sign up for a commitment that I don't expect to fulfill. On the other hand, people who uphold that commitment should be free to enjoy that status, just as a monk who truly lives as a monk should be entitled to label himself as such.

I think men want it both ways because they need both things (a long-term partner, and variety), so maybe it's not men that are flawed, but society that's flawed. Perhaps someday society will change to allow people to have what they need. But it won't happen by men pretending to uphold the principles of marriage while not doing so -- this just perpetuates the status quo. Maybe it will happen by men simply rejecting marriage as an institution, and just living with a partner. But this probably won't become the majority in our lifetimes. Maybe later.

[AsnDragon]

Well, this is interesting. I would tend to agree with your assessment that having sex outside of marriage isn't THAT bad, so long as you give your heart to your spouse, and learn to separate it and leave the fun outside of the house.

But my close friend, in his mid 30's isn't married and doesn't plan to get married. His reasoning is that he cannot stay faithful to only one woman. He claims that he has never met a girl that he can say, fulfills all his emotional and physical needs in order for him to marry her and be give up mongering.

Therefore, he has this big problem of trying to find the "best" , anything that falls slightly short he will not even consider engaging even in a relationship, making him a picky bastard.

He and i always get into these heated debates. He thinks what i'm doing is wrong. having a wife and going out to monger is the" wrong" thing to do, and he asks me how i can live with myself, asking me don't i feel guilty at all?

It's strange to hear this from him, considering that i monger sparingly, 1 girl a day, whereas he is a true monger, mostly 2 times a day and many times 3-4 girls in one day. I don't see how he does it, and he never takes viagra or cialis.

Anyhow after he lectures me, i feel a bit down and i tend to self -reflect for 1 minute, and then i go off to monger again anyhow. But perhaps marriage and mongering outside is the perfect formula.

Even my friend, who refuses to get married or even have a stable relationship, agrees that he too gets emotionally lonely. especially after the deed is done, he finds himself trying to session with some WG GFE style, which always leads to something bad. But although i am a contradiction to my vows during marriage, i find him to be a contradiction as well, for he goes out to monger wanting freedom claminng marriage isn' for him, but he still wishes to have the emotional and spiritual parts of a relationship.

So perhaps AG is right, the whole japanese style perhaps is the best....too bad not many girls are ok with a long term marriage with no ring and security.

AsnDragon

I think there is a fundamental difference between why you get married and why you visit a WG that is being confused as the same here.

Marriage is more for spiritual bonding and commitment between two people, and the sex between the two is theoretically a part of that commitment. In some cultures, you can be taken to the cleaners in divorce court if you cross the line and sleep with women outside of marriage.

Outright sex with someone who is not married to you does not mean you necessarily have a marriage commitment and it is simply sex. Most people don't (though some people think they do) have a spiritual relationship with their prostitute who services you. (Ok, yeah yeah... some people caught up in the moment are having a spiritual moment in the heat of passion when they cum... !)

But basically, seeking physical pleasure outside of marriage does not mean you can't continue to be married and that you don't care about your spouse.

Getting serviced is quite frankly a commodity in Asia, and it is akin to getting your hair cut, or getting a manicure.

Prostitutes provide a sexual service - nothing more! They don't provide a deep and meaningful relationship and are NOT a substitute for it, though some men think WG's are a substitute - they are not!

Good luck!
MAB

[Ace Gallant]

prior to marrying my wife, i told her - all lovingly of course - that as she is so much younger and good looking than i, that if she feels she needs to go "outside" of our marriage that she follows the following promises:

1. don't let me know
2. don't let me loose face
3. don't bring back anything dirty
4. don't have a family outside.

"sauce for the goose sauce for the gander." hell for all i know, she could be out with shopping or having tea with her best friend!

plus one more thing i keep to myself - deny deny deny - no matter what!

100% fool proof.... up to now anyways!

seaj

there is one basic rule that i always stated out to any girls who wants to be my gfs:

i am a businessman, i travel around and i need to entertain clients and i do sleep with other girls. you must not stop me from doing these because it is my work. if you can accept this; you pass the first level. unless you are my wife, you have no rights to stop me from sleeping with another girls regardless of whether it is for my work or for my pleasure. however, if you finally get married to me, unless i had been raped or unconscious, i would promise you that you will be the only dick park that my dick will park.

enjoy!
ag

[Ace Gallant]

Ag,

Wow, I never thought that on this mongering board, there would be a discussion about ethics and principles. But I am interested and honored to be participating into this topic.

First off, I am impressed that you were able to resist the temptation of suppliers giving you girls at your front doorstep and you not even touching them. I don't think that I could possible resist. But at the same time it's admirable that you stick to your principles and faithfulness to your wife.

So another question is this, now that you don't have a wife, and have gf's ect. Do you find yourself happier now or back when you were married (before you and your ex-wife separated in interests and outlooks in life? ) Because as Rag had stated, sometimes people stay with their spouse is because they fulfill them spiritually and emotionally, whereas mongering is just to satiate the sexual part of a man's needs.

Because in a sense it's a double edged sword. In my personal opinion, it's hard for me to imagine ever being with a WG long term. But when you monger and are free to have as many girls as you want, I feel that there's a lack of emotional compatibility and attraction many times, so there becomes a sense of loneliness emotionally. But then again, when you're married, you have emotional support and compatibility, but at least I itched to monger to satiate the physical needs.

In life you can never have everything. But do you prefer to still be married? Or the life of a monger?

AsnDragon

There is one way of resisting the temptations; get yourself fucking drunk to the extent that your dick cannot even stand! That way, all the blood will be rushing to your big head and not to your small head….hahahahaha!

Good questions; and the answers will be:

I have mix feeling of this; I had the luxury of having both a Westerner wife and an Asian wife before. IMHO: My first wife, a blond, wants control of her our life, do not wants to control anyone else, including our kid. In another sense, she does not want to be responsible in bringing up our kid. My second wife, an Asian, wants only to control my wallet. In a sense that is a smarter choice because, by controlling my wallet, she basically controls everything, including me!

So, having freed myself from all these controls, I felt like a bird! I love freedom and I am obviously happier with it. But my other half (as I am not getting any younger…..) I felt the loneliness at times, especially when I having group activities with my married friends when families get together. There are certain amount of feelings that make me wants to get attached again. In a way, I felt that maybe the Japanese way works for me? As couples stays together for the “companion” side and never talk about getting married. She does have her own activities and so does I; but comes to time when anyone needs each other’s presence we’ll be there. In-directly this may also fulfill what Rag had described as the “spiritual” side of it.

You are right; “In life you can never have everything.” But maybe as age catch up, I think I may tend to move towards the “spiritual” side of it.

I guess the situation I am in might not apply to most of you guys because I had gone through two marriages with wives from two different cultures. I would not say I had seen it all, but at least I can say I know what it is like. Whether I will find another or remain single with lots of GFs, I would leave it up to faith. I enjoyed been married and been single as well; there are pros and cons in both married life and single life and I don’t think it is fair to make a comparison on them. So the answer is; Yes I will marry again if the right person comes along, but if she doesn’t I will still enjoy my life. Life is too short to worry about these, enjoy now and worry later but just make sure you are responsible of your doings.

Enjoy!
AG

BTW: I told every GFs I have now and before, that I do have many GFs. If they want to be my special someone, they will have to compromise and work harder (whether on their personality or on bed).

[SE Asia Joe]

100% fool proof.... up to now anyways!

SEAJ

Oooops - just noticed I've missed out on the most important disclaimer of all
- don't try this with your wife if she's NOT Chinese or at least SE Asian!

The way these Western Gals are - you'd end up with sauce all over your own face!

Chinese/SE Asian women knows better where their sauce comes from, and with 'em, 90% of the time, you'd be pretty well assured that its gonna work for your benefit.

SEAJ