Non-Pro Garotas - Opinions & Advice

[Perkele]

Don't fool yourself.

Regular lower class girls in Brasil don't date sex-hungry (or, in your case, emotionally fragile) gringos because of their charm or their sparkling personality, but just because they see benefit in doing so.

Once more, any monger with half a brain and a bit of experience knows that the poorer girls are one-track mind gold-diggers. It's in their blood and called survival.

Well said.

This squid is just sad character.

[Prosal]

I would just beg of you here not to destroy any non-pro girl's heart by taking advantage of her naivety.

Don't fool yourself.

Regular lower class girls in Brasil don't date sex-hungry (or, in your case, emotionally fragile) gringos because of their charm or their sparkling personality, but just because they see benefit in doing so.

Once more, any monger with half a brain and a bit of experience knows that the poorer girls are one-track mind gold-diggers. It's in their blood and called survival.

[Stinky Squid]

I'm not here to judge. Squid will decide what's best for himself and the people in his life.
...
2) On the other side: I think there's an extended opinion in this forum that "regular" girls are as money-minded as GDPs. That's not true.

Everybody in the world is obsessed with money. Just look around! But to imply that any brazilian girl that meets a "gringo" is a gold-digger, well... that's beyond fairness!

Thanks Jota Erre, for your support, I certainly like to believe I took decisions by what I felt was right, because pretty much everyone on all sides declared me for nuts.

I believe that's one good lesson out of my story and probably many others untold here is what you said: true non-pro girls are not all just after your money. This forum is of course biased toward picking girls who would be easily bedded and possibly many of them are "semi-pros" also. You tend to end up with a spoiled one or shallow ones, so you end up in shopping sprees.

But my girl shows that you can meet very humble souls if you're lucky. One that never ever asks about anything and truly loves you. They might even be easy to bed. But, one thing I am concerned about is that they end up being exploited. I think it's not o.k. to lie to them, telling them something about love for the purpose to bed them. And it's not O.K. to be hiding that you're married or have anyway no intention to stick to her. When you're super-lucky like I you might get one who wouldn't even mind after knowing the truth, in the heat of the moment. But I suppose many would at this point be ready only because of other rewards.

I would just beg of you here not to destroy any non-pro girl's heart by taking advantage of her naivety. If it's not for compassion and the love of pure hearts, keep this rule because, as someone else said somewhere here, this may fire back at all of us.

[Jota Erre]

No, life is not unjust. It is the way it is.
From what you said, it is better that you break-up, as you do not have the courage to take a decision. The only future that you can offer to the love of your life is to be a hidden mistress.
You are the kind of man who is not driven by his inner self, but by outside events. You do not deserve her.
Regards.
B.B.

I'm not here to judge. Squid will decide what's best for himself and the people in his life.

Just two comments:

1) Garotas de Programa have taken a decission in life. And once that they have experienced "easy money", it's very difficult for them either to leave the job or to behave ignoring the "grana".

2) On the other side: I think there's an extended opinion in this forum that "regular" girls are as money-minded as GDPs. That's not true.

Everybody in the world is obsessed with money. Just look around! But to imply that any brazilian girl that meets a "gringo" is a gold-digger, well... that's beyond fairness!

I think that those that talk in those terms probably haven't known many regular brazilian girls. I invite them to do so. And it's easy. They're the majority.

P.S.: To do that, just stay away from Copacabana!

[Bimbo Boy]

... A vida e injust! I see no way but to continue where I left off, let time heal the wounds, and let the experience of her love be an example for how to live my life with and for those to whom I belong.

No, life is not unjust. It is the way it is.
From what you said, it is better that you break-up, as you do not have the courage to take a decision. The only future that you can offer to the love of your life is to be a hidden mistress.
You are the kind of man who is not driven by his inner self, but by outside events. You do not deserve her.
Regards.
B.B.

[Stinky Squid]

Oh Bimbo Boy and Jota Erre, you are so nice. Thank you so much for validating my experience. I am now so endlessly sad because we did say our last goodbyes last night on MSN. I can not see a way of extracting myself from my life as it is, I don't have the right to cause so much pain. And for what? So that this gem of a girl can be with an old man 13 years older than her? I just have to trust in God (we both do) that he'll take care of her with a man who she can have all for herself and who treats her well.

One moment she sent me her new phone numbers telling me to contact her any time, but then, when I came to the point of telling her I'd like to bring her over for some time to a new place I am starting, she suddenly turned very serious. She wants me completely, she can't share me. And if it's going to hurt now, we haven't seen half the hurt that it's going to hurt later - a hurt that possibly she would be stuck with. I was the one who wrote her all of that in my email before, because it's true. I want her happy.

She said that every message from me would now only heart her. She said we can't even be "grande amigos" as we planned, because, she said, she realized she can't be a friend with whom she longs for. She can't just be my friend, she wants me completely. And so do I want her, I want to be hers, it was such sweet life to be hers. But, she says, I can't. I am bound, and she does not want to break my marriage. She told me I must not do it. Now I'm just trying to get back being happy with my life without her in order to fulfill my promise to her.

Oh if I only had sufficient grief to quit my marriage. If only my wife drank or deserted me. But I have no sufficient grief to justify a break up. I would have done it. If only I could have started over, if, if.

I could not have left that dream girl, she was the only one who could take that decision, and she did because she was pure in heart. She is an angel, as a mother she could not allow that my children would be hurt in the process. MSN still lists us as friends. I have all her memorabilia stashed away. Just her messages on my cellphone aren't deleted yet, nor is her number in my phonebook. One SMS, one MSN poke and I could rekindle the fire, but unless I find a way to start a true new life where I can be hers completely, I do not dare hurt her more.

A vida e injust! I see no way but to continue where I left off, let time heal the wounds, and let the experience of her love be an example for how to live my life with and for those to whom I belong.

[Bimbo Boy]

Love is the greatest thing on earth. You can buy sex, but you can't buy true love.

You fell in love because unconsciously you were ready for it, and that you were not satisfied with your current situation.

Give the girl and yourself a chance. Accept that you can make a big mistake. So what ? You'll learn a lot and become a richer person.

Imagine that in many years, you will be on your deathbed. You will never be sorry because you took a chance and it did not work out. But you would be very sorry if you did not take the chance that came to you. As the lottery advertisements say "If you don't buy the lottery ticket, then you never win".

By the way : love her ... but with your eyes open. Check on her. And dump her if she cheats, and go on. Life is beautiful!

Regards. B.B.

[Jota Erre]

Furthermore: Don't let anyone take the decission for you. Don't let anyone tell you that you're a fool and that a life of eternal mongering is more fullfilling. Because it's not.

Believe me, nobody's better than you to know the real situation. Love is real.

Try to see the situation with a certain perspective. Because cultural differences are real. But they can be an enriching experience. Imagine yourself 20 years from now and decide if you'd better be with or without her. And think about your family.

In any case, don't you ever apologize for falling in love. It's a great experience. And so much better than leading a life of just empty sex.

Besides that, you'll always have the option of being friends. Soulmates exist (though cynics will tell you otherwise). And sometimes friendship is a great way of expressing that love. Not easy, but possible.

In any case, good luck.

[Jota Erre]

... and you aren't very nice to me now. Can one not be sentimental? She was sentimental and I was getting into it. This was not a romance, this was true love. I appreciate your help here, but throwing mud at me for wanting to do everything to be with her?

Anyway, it is over. I had written her a letter to request of her to leave me and move on so she can be truly happy. Of course I hoped she would not, because her and I felt the same for each other. We wanted nothing more but be with each other. Yet, the verdict was we could not. She may be a favela girl, but her pure soul is greater than any one I ever encountered. We chatted all evening over MSN, and we said our last good byes in tears.

This story leaves me forever changed. I learned for 2 days what true love can be, and how fulfilling it can be. Yet, it was not for us. A vida e injust. You can mock me as much as you want, I may not even read it. I look forward to the day when I can be happy about what I experienced. For now, I am empty and sad for losing the most completely beautiful moments that I ever have encountered and ever will encounter in my life.

Sorry to disagree with most of the opinions in the forum.

It's true that you can have great sex without love. That variety in sex can be a lot of fun. A lot. But in the end love is even better.

Squid: Don't follow the opinions of others, follow your heart. You're the only one that knows what's best for yourself.

Fuck conventionalisms. Fuck class differences. Fuck cultural differences. Fuck stereotypes. If you find true love, grab it. In the end is what life is all about.

[Fred100]

stinky squid.

i think the advice you are getting from the members is sound.

in the 38 years of traveling for work and pleasure, i have seen countless men of from different backgrounds go through the same thing your going through. i know four couples that have gone the distance. all but one of these women were introduced to their future partner through work(i. e different culture, but same peer pressure group). all the other relationships ended, in most cases badly.

a thing to remember with the latin girls, they do like a bit of drama. this could seem like deep emotional feelings for you with lasting effects, she might be just playing out a "novela" in her head.

believe me i know i've been married to one for many years. all that passion and mood swings can be fun as long as you know how to play the game.

[Member #3439]

Stinky Squid-
You are grossly confusing a vacation infatuation with a low class Brasilian girl and projecting all your years of frustration and boredom with your life into the blinded view of perfection that you will find out this girl certainly is not once you actually get to know her.

So I suggest that you walk away from this very bad idea you have yourself considering, go home to you family, and start planning another trip to Brasil or someplace else with great mongering.

This is good advice Stinky Squid. I'm with RH and Sperto. You need some counseling and a plan for the next mongering trip. I am assuming that you are coming from a country that is culturally much different than Brasil, and you need to keep in mind that not everyone takes things so seriously. The freeness of garotas in Brasil is the reason that we are here reading this thread. I've found girls in Tokyo, Osaka, and Jakarta that will do the same thing, but not with the freeness of the Brasileiras. In the end, they all just want to experience something new and exotic to them..just like you are trying to do. But they know the difference between hooking up and forming a relationship, because unlike you they don't have anything that they are trying to escape from. You need to face your home problems head on before trying to start something elsewhere. This is a sex forum and not a romance forum, so hence you are getting the message that you need to focus on the sex whilst travelling, keep THAT pure, and clean up your mess at home instead of bringing a foreign girl into the mix.

As for your idea about some other monger picking her up and ruining her. If she's a lady like you say she is, she won't be lured into something serious by a monger. Just like she hasn't been drawn into something actually serious with you.

[Stinky Squid]

... and you aren't very nice to me now. Can one not be sentimental? She was sentimental and I was getting into it. This was not a romance, this was true love. I appreciate your help here, but throwing mud at me for wanting to do everything to be with her?

Anyway, it is over. I had written her a letter to request of her to leave me and move on so she can be truly happy. Of course I hoped she would not, because her and I felt the same for each other. We wanted nothing more but be with each other. Yet, the verdict was we could not. She may be a favela girl, but her pure soul is greater than any one I ever encountered. We chatted all evening over MSN, and we said our last good byes in tears.

This story leaves me forever changed. I learned for 2 days what true love can be, and how fulfilling it can be. Yet, it was not for us. A vida e injust. You can mock me as much as you want, I may not even read it. I look forward to the day when I can be happy about what I experienced. For now, I am empty and sad for losing the most completely beautiful moments that I ever have encountered and ever will encounter in my life.

[Sperto]

But I love her so much.....That's why I say I am doomed. I can't live without her and I can't live with her..... I am ready to buy tickets for her to come to my country, I buy a house for her. She loves flowers and she would make our house so lovely because she loves things nice and pretty..... We felt that we were meant to be together..... This is what I told you, she is my paradise, I think few people in this world will ever experience such a gift of pure heavenly love. I feel like I drank from the fountain of love itself, feel like washed away by the river of love emanating from her. I'd give up a lot for her. I even consider sacrificing my peaceful life that I have..... I would leave behind all that I have to my wife and kids. I would do it this very day, without thinking any more..... Just 1 month of bliss with her would be twice the total joy that I ever had or will have in my life without her.

Stinky, your story doesn't sound very sane. If the story is true I feel sorry for the girl and not you.

No harm meant, but I think you need to seek professional help.

[Voyajer1]

From what I've observed, these thugs fall under the 19 to 30 or 35y/o age bracket. The problem is not unique to Brazil, it is also very common right here in the USA. Young people, some, not all, don't have all the tools needed to survive in society. Their impulsive behaviors and lack of good judgement sets them apart. Any good time ruinned since I have been going out has been ruined by a youngster 99 out of 100 times. Fighting, shooting up a club, dissing them, looking at the wrong girl all sound like a broken record to me. So it isn't a shock that the same things are happening elsewhere.

Pitboys violence is a very recurrent matter on brasilian TV, that often say that clubs in Rio are being plagued by a re-emergence of pitboy gangs (that effectively originally surfaced in the late 90s, and alleviated during the mid 2000s).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1taZs3_UchU

That being said, you are right, no need to be excessively paranoiac. One can have great nights out in those Rio fancy clubs. I myself travel to areas (Stans, Moldova,ect) swarming with dumb flatheads who can go berserk in a heartbeat, I go out a lot, and I rarely have problems (nonetheless got last year a cornea brisure after a brawl in a Tashkent club).

Anyway those carioca battler pitboys are not a myth, but a reality, and trouble with those guys will certainly not add to your travel pleasure. In those clubs, there's a few rules to follow, the n°1 being to be extra careful not hitting the "wrong" girl and not pissing off her pitboy boyfriend (or wannabe boyfriend).

[Stinky Squid]

my suggestion?! go straight into the living room and tell your wife that you are leaving her for this young hot brasilian that you spent an incredible 3 days with! tell your kids that daddy is never coming home because he met his true love!! dont waste another second ss, make it happen right now!!!! your soul mate is waiting for you!!!

so that was probably kidding too, right? hmm, with emotions it's up and down. one says sorry for the girl and i should go right back and embrace her, the other says i'm nuts. in all that confusion in my head and confusion of advice, i still can't thank you enough for your help because i don't think there is any peer group who would understand and give better advice than you. i have some months to think about it. i can't just walk away. but i shall watch and see.