Russian Women - Opinions and Advice

[Stravinsky]

Jake,

No worries, I have no intention of going over to the dark side, any more than you do. I'm just pointing out that there are different strokes for different folks.

After all, this guy did end up winning 2 gold medals, so maybe the joke's on us?

[Jake993]

Tas in the U.S., the quickest and surest path to residency is to marry a citizen.

Now you are starting to SCARE me!

[Stravinsky]

Not that I want permanent residence status, but you get my point.

There are any number of reasons why an American might want Russian residence status. You might be an American snowboarder who is fed up with the lack of support given to your chosen sport by the U.S. Olympic Committee, so you marry a Russian girl and compete for Russia. Of course, it's never easy, but in Russia, as in the U.S., the quickest and surest path to residency is to marry a citizen.

[Jake993]

As you say, this Russian woman will have an enormous challenge to find an American expat in Russia who is not already married. But, if she can find one, who is also committed to a long term residency in Moscow, then it may actually work.

Ha, ha, ha. That's a good one. As a foreigner, there are a lot of hoops that need to be jumped through in order to get permanent residence status. It's probably MORE difficult for an American man (regardless of professional status) to get permanent residence in Russia than it is for a Russian woman to get a green card. Not that I want permanent residence status, but you get my point.

All kidding aside, your assertion makes sense. I DO find myself (even after 3 years) doing things with and for women here in Moscow that I would NEVER do back in the USA. Not being in one's own element does have an effect on how you behave. Very interesting observation.

[Stravinsky]

She thinks she will do better finding an American expat who is here in Russia and looking for a wife. How fucked up is THAT? Half of the Americans are here with their wives and the other half are here to get away from their wives. Hope's spring is eternal!

She may not be as crazy as you think.

I have known many cross cultural marriages here in the States over the years; American man/Russian or Ukrainian woman. Only a very few have lasted, even of the ones that began with truly sincere intentions on both sides. Which is not a condemnation of marriage between American men and Russian/Ukrainian women necessarily, because very few marriages survive in America today, between anyone.

Almost all of these marriages began when an American man traveled to either Russia or the Ukraine to meet his prospective bride (or brides, as the case may be). And they got along fine, as long as they were in her country. I think this is because when the American man is in a foreign country, he is out of his element, so he is not able to exercise his normal predilections or follow his usual habits, and he doesn't look so, well... American. It's not until they marry and return to the States that the problems begin. He doesn't understand why his new bride gets pissed off every time he gives her a dozen roses, instead of 11, or 9. She doesn't understand why all he wants to do on the weekend is plant himself on the sofa with a 6-pack and watch a bunch of grown men chasing a silly ball. Particularly not when he could take her out and spend money on her.

As you say, this Russian woman will have an enormous challenge to find an American expat in Russia who is not already married. But, if she can find one, who is also committed to a long term residency in Moscow, then it may actually work.

I believe you and I have a mutual friend who was in this exact same situation

For myself, I have found that you don't want to be out there fighting, in the thick of the fray. It's better to remain on the sidelines and pick up the pieces. The sadder but wiser girl for me...

Which reminds me, does anyone have Sveta's number here in the States? By my calculations, on August 21st, that poor, dear, sweet young girl will be in desperate need of the kind of comfort and counsel that only a mature, older gentleman can give her.

Ain't I a stinker?

[Leggio1]

Hear, hear Strav! Well stated. It's the goofiest phenomenon but it's true. What is crazier still is that I recently met a Russian woman here in Moscow who left Russia in the early 2000's with an American husband. Left him after a couple of years to hook up with a "Sergei" only to dump him as well when she realized why she hooked up with the American in the first place. NOW, here's the strange part. She's BACK in Moscow looking for another American to hook up with! She says that she can't find a man in America because she thinks that American guys in America don't understand her culturally and view her as a gold digger. She thinks she will do better finding an American expat who is here in Russia and looking for a wife. How fucked up is THAT? Half of the Americans are here with their wives and the other half are here to get away from their wives. Hope's spring is eternal!

That makes perfect sense. Educated Russian women in their thirties are not accepted by American men and women. Exceptions are if they are stunners or have well paying jobs. The Russian IT guys working in US cities are generally young and have no interest in haggards.

[Jake993]

here in the States who tried to hook up with a Russian man and it is always doomed to failure. Of course, there is a natural attraction between them based on their common background: country, culture, language. But, at some point, Sveta will remember all the reasons why she never liked Russian men to begin with and also that there really is no future for her with a Russian man who has nothing more to his name than an H1B visa.

Hear, hear Strav! Well stated. It's the goofiest phenomenon but it's true. What is crazier still is that I recently met a Russian woman here in Moscow who left Russia in the early 2000's with an American husband. Left him after a couple of years to hook up with a "Sergei" only to dump him as well when she realized why she hooked up with the American in the first place. NOW, here's the strange part. She's BACK in Moscow looking for another American to hook up with! She says that she can't find a man in America because she thinks that American guys in America don't understand her culturally and view her as a gold digger. She thinks she will do better finding an American expat who is here in Russia and looking for a wife. How fucked up is THAT? Half of the Americans are here with their wives and the other half are here to get away from their wives. Hope's spring is eternal!

[Leggio1]

Your friend is actually in an excellent position, almost enviable. Given the circumstances of his marriage, he should not have any problem obtaining a summary, no-fault divorce which will not require him to pay Sveta a dime. His wife has actually helped him in this by, "abandoning the marital abode".

Yes, his lawyer immediately filed papers to void the marriage by reason of fraud. Normally, one would try to save a marriage, but in these cases reality hits you hard and it becomes all about how your attorney can get you out of the mess.

[Stravinsky]

She moved into a condo with Sergei literally three blocks away from where my friend lives. Ball buster of all ball busters.

It's true, the Slavic female is a variety best enjoyed in its native habitat. In particular, the Post-Soviet variety has a very shallow and fragile root structure which can yield unpredictable results when transplanted outside of its own native soil.

Your friend is actually in an excellent position, almost enviable. Given the circumstances of his marriage, he should not have any problem obtaining a summary, no-fault divorce which will not require him to pay Sveta a dime. His wife has actually helped him in this by, "abandoning the marital abode".

In fact, I have met American men who actually do this kind of thing on purpose. They are SSMs (Serial Slavic Monogamists). They go to Russia or the Ukraine, find some wide-eyed, innocent young thing and woo her with promises of marriage and life in America. And she, in turn, is grateful to her man in a way that only a slavic woman can be grateful. Then, after they have returned to America, and the fun is over (as it inevitably will be) they dump the sooka and head back for another.

I give Sveta and Sergei 6 months, maybe a year at most. I have known a few Russian women here in the States who tried to hook up with a Russian man and it is always doomed to failure. Of course, there is a natural attraction between them based on their common background: country, culture, language. But, at some point, Sveta will remember all the reasons why she never liked Russian men to begin with and also that there really is no future for her with a Russian man who has nothing more to his name than an H1B visa.

Without a husband, when her temporary Green Card comes up for renewal, her application to adjust her status will certainly be denied. She could try to find another man to marry her, but, given her history, that will be almost impossible to do, now that she is here. She will then be faced with the same question that thousands of other young slavic women have been faced with - do I return to my country? or do I stay here, tough it out and hope for the best? I can tell you very few of them return.

America is full of young women from eastern Europe who came here under similar circumstances. And I tell you my friends, it is a sad sight to see these beautiful young women working so hard, struggling to survive here in America, taking whatever work they can get, relying on the kindness of strangers. Someone needs to help them, don't they?

So, tell your friend to buck up. Extend to him my heartfelt thanks for increasing the stock of desperate young Russian women here in America. And remember, all is not lost and there are better days ahead.

Unless, of course, he still thinks he's "in love". In which case, I'm afraid there is no helping him.

[AColonizer]

Yes, that's an old story. Everybody knows that. But people prefer to live in feelings, drugs and religions instead to face the real world.

However, it is sure that Russian girlfriend would abandon his Western boyfriend sooner or later. That's Moscow. There are no Russian girls like 20 years ago, anymore. That's Western men's fate.

Moreover, we should fight women's power in our Western countries, by changing our personal attitude (no more courtesies and gifts) , our electoral vote, our religious belief: who supports women is against our survival!

Very sad and common story. I primarily do on-line sites for finding Slavic women and for instance rarely get response from women who already living in a foreign country especially the West.

These are not super hot women either. Just average 7's that mostly likely I would have no problem dating in their home country. Let's not kid ourselves. Once Russian women come to the West and realize their sexual value. A 20 year difference is not that common anymore in their thinking. LOL

They want the same rights as their "feminist sisters" here. Anybody who thinks otherwise is in for a rude surprise.

[YellowPaul]

Sadly, this is a very common story.

Very sad and common story. I primarily do on-line sites for finding Slavic women and for instance rarely get response from women who already living in a foreign country especially the West.

These are not super hot women either. Just average 7's that mostly likely I would have no problem dating in their home country. Let's not kid ourselves. Once Russian women come to the West and realize their sexual value. A 20 year difference is not that common anymore in their thinking. LOL

They want the same rights as their "feminist sisters" here. Anybody who thinks otherwise is in for a rude surprise.

[Jake993]

Just wanted to share my buddies story. Less than a year ago, my good friend was assigned a temporary job with a financial institution in Moscow. Well, he met Sveta and fell in love. She 23 and him 38. They married quickly and he was able to secure her visa into the US. I told him that he was making a mistake. He reasoned that he had a prestigious job, good finances, and was a healthy attractive male. She would be unlikely to leave that. Well, it was a big mistake and now he feels like a fool. Apparently, his home city is flooded with cheap labor Russian IT guys. All it took was one night out with some Russian girls she had friended on FB. She moved into a condo with Sergei literally three blocks away from where my friend lives. Ball buster of all ball busters.

Sadly, this is a very common story.

[Leggio1]

Just wanted to share my buddies story. Less than a year ago, my good friend was assigned a temporary job with a financial institution in Moscow. Well, he met Sveta and fell in love. She 23 and him 38. They married quickly and he was able to secure her visa into the US. I told him that he was making a mistake. He reasoned that he had a prestigious job, good finances, and was a healthy attractive male. She would be unlikely to leave that. Well, it was a big mistake and now he feels like a fool. Apparently, his home city is flooded with cheap labor Russian IT guys. All it took was one night out with some Russian girls she had friended on FB. She moved into a condo with Sergei literally three blocks away from where my friend lives. Ball buster of all ball busters.

[YummyPL]

"I don't like you because I think you are beautiful. I think you are beautiful because I like you..."

[Stravinsky]

But this whole online dating is filled with risk that could cost life itself one day. I'm fine if I die in car accident or some disease but getting killed by the one you gave your heart is truly tragic.

Yes, I'm afraid we are, all of us, fools for love. Fortunately, you are still alive and well to tell us about it.