Restaurants in Nicaragua

[Meat Loaf]

Nicaraguan food is 100% about SURVIVAL.

They have no variety or style.

It's 100% about SURVIVAL.

Their best dish is Chicken / Steak Jalepeno. They use jalepenos and crema with onions for a gravy sauce and pour it all over the chicken or steak.

This is their best dish without question.

[BluntForceTrauma]

Last night I visited Piratas. Never have I had a plate there that was worth half the money they charge. Took a nice Nica Indian gal to eat there tonight. She looks good, no beau, no kids, intelligent works honestly, and goes to school. Her plate was one of the worst I have ever seen in my life. Menu labeled Fajitas and Jalepenos. Being a fan of mex cooking, I said yeah, that should be terrific. What comes is a plate of 2nd rate Beef Stroganoff, more like dog food. She couldn't even eat a third of the plate, refused to take my Chicken Ceaser Salad from the get go, being polite. Her half plate of dogfood ran 230 Cordobas. My salad had about 3 ounces of chicken within it, about a pound of croutons. Ready to flush a few dried-up condensed sponges down their toilets.

Never eat at Piratas!

Anyone ever eat at the Arab or Lebanese restaurant just up the road south from Piratas? If it is good, it is likely very good.

[Meat Loaf]

Very few nice locations exist where pedestrian traffic is present, but Piratas is one such locale. It's located in "Zona Hippo."

This sector has about ten (10) restaurants that line the street, outdoor cafes, and those that want to experience middle-class standards.

It's nothing special, but another place.

[Meat Loaf]

This is a beautiful restaurant in the city of Juigalpa, Chontales. The restaurant sits high on the hill with a central park attached. The view is that of the Cordilleras which is a mountain range.

The best view from a restaurant that I have witnessed / experienced in the Land of Lakes and Volcanoes.

[Victorn]

If you are in town in Leon for business just for the day, a great place to go for lunch or dinner is at the EL CONVENTO Hotel , close to the San Francisco Church downtown at only 5 minutes walk from the Cathedral.

Air conditioned inside but if you want to use the terrace, they have plenty of ceiling fans.

Attentive service and they add a 10% tip to the total. Very peaceful overlooking a colorful garden with security at the door and parking spots.

Breakfast is about 146 Cordobas and Lunch should be about 200 Cordobas.

[Meat Loaf]

Gossip is that they lost their lease and will be relocating. As if Granada needs another hotel, but this location in front of the San Francisco will be another hotel.

In Granada, the Gringos have adapted very well to the formal Nicaraguan occupation of chisme (ie. gossip). Word on the street was that the Granada landmark known as "Kathy's Waffle House" was to be closing. Not true.

Kathy's Waffle House offers some excellent breakfast platters for US $5 that will fill-up your belly just as you desire to fill-up vaginas.

[Meat Loaf]

Granada has a lake front / malecon. Dumb Gringos think lake fronts are nice and beautiful. Wrong! The malecon in Managua will get you killed, but after robbery and assault: The malecon in Granada will get you stabbed, but after robbery and assault.

The lake front / Cocibolca Tourist area is dangerous, especially at night!

About 10 - 20 restaurants, bars, discos exist down there.

You can visit them, but understand that it's almost 100% Nica and you will be an obvious tourist. It's long and narrow so there will be no help. And plenty of trees.

If you're seasoned, visit: If you're a novice, stay on the Calzada in Granada.

Two weeks ago I went to the Centro Touristica aligning Lake Nicaragua / Lago Cocibolca.

This is a long area. Nicaraguan families are at the beach swimming and drinking rum. Any girls will be accompanied by their family members.

This is a nice area to visit and pass time.

[Meat Loaf]

In Nicaragua, the Nicaraguan finds it an accomplishment, a symbol of success or "get over skills" to have someone else feed them / purchase the meal. They pride themselves in braggadocio for receiving a free meal.

The notion delivered by Jesus, "Teach a man how to fish and they will eat forever; give a man a fish and they will eat once" is eagerly rejected in Nicaragua.

ISG Senior Member verified this fact as stated by his commercial associate of Nicaraguan-decent.

Never feed a Nicaragua, for they will never learn how to fish.

[Meat Loaf]

Gossip is that they lost their lease and will be relocating. As if Granada needs another hotel, but this location in front of the San Francisco will be another hotel.

Gossip has proven incorrect. It's open and thriving.

[Meat Loaf]

Is San Juan de la Selva still in business? This used to be the most amazing restaurant in all Managua. It was owned and run by a Swiss guy that looked like Santa Claus and had a live jaguar/panther, whatever, outside. It was located about 50 varas south of Rotunda Centro America on Carretera Masaya and on the west side of the road. Wonderful restaurant. I used to love to take the working girls there. It made them feel like a queen.

Yes, it's still open with a panther / jaguar on the signage!

[Noguera]

Is San Juan de la Selva still in business? This used to be the most amazing restaurant in all Managua. It was owned and run by a Swiss guy that looked like Santa Claus and had a live jaguar/panther, whatever, outside. It was located about 50 varas south of Rotunda Centro America on Carretera Masaya and on the west side of the road. Wonderful restaurant. I used to love to take the working girls there. It made them feel like a queen.

[Meat Loaf]

Granada has a lake front / malecon. Dumb Gringos think lake fronts are nice and beautiful. Wrong! The malecon in Managua will get you killed, but after robbery and assault: The malecon in Granada will get you stabbed, but after robbery and assault.

The lake front / Cocibolca Tourist area is dangerous, especially at night!

About 10 - 20 restaurants, bars, discos exist down there.

You can visit them, but understand that it's almost 100% Nica and you will be an obvious tourist. It's long and narrow so there will be no help. And plenty of trees.

If you're seasoned, visit: If you're a novice, stay on the Calzada in Granada.

[Meat Loaf]

After years of being a trendsetter, Dona Conchis is closing. The property has been sold and she lost her lease.

[Meat Loaf]

This business is a landmark not only for Granada, but for the Republic of Nicaragua.

"Nica Bound" suggests the #16 from their large assortment of choices.

Opening time is 0700 hrs., and it tends to get crowded especially on Sundays.

Gossip is that they lost their lease and will be relocating. As if Granada needs another hotel, but this location in front of the San Francisco will be another hotel.

[Meat Loaf]

Their cheeseburgers are delicious laced with some "good a*s cheese."

Good ambiance.

Jovial management.

Voo Doo of Granada is closed! They never had any business anyway, but excellent food. It was just another Gringo bar as Gringos chased the dream!
Alright people, but no business.