Sociological Observations on Thailand

[Keeniu]

Then I ask the Customer Officer if I could open a bank A / C having only a tourist visa. She looked dubious but then I explained I come to Thailand "many many times". This lady wasn't particularly smiling but she was then willing to take the application and only asked for an utility contract or something. As I will have a real need I will be more than happy to leave my money with them.

Hey: I need to open a bank account too on account I too visit many times, and Australian banks have a 11% conversion spread. What 'other' will do the trick?

Second Question: As a farang do you pay big farang ATM fees? Nd were you successful?

[New Old Guy]

To make my point more clear. I was living in a European country for 3 years. I don't mention name because I don't want to start a debate over the specific country. I was a consumer there and the price/quality ratio was normal to high for a European country BUT the attitude of most (90%+) "sellers" was HORRIBLE! You had a feeling that they make you a favor by "allowing" you being in their place (restaurant, hotel, shop, theater etc.) and buy something from there. Anytime I had to go for shopping was a nightmare. Non helpful staff, arrogant managers, long lines for everything, bad service, high prices and not a single smile!

That is so true! I think I know what country you're talking about, my country, has a reputation to be "beautiful" but in reality is populated by a bunch of lazy arrogant ignorant racist assholes.

Today I wanted something shipped here but the post office in that EU country gave plain false information and pretend the service we wanted to use did not existed! All they were insisting on, was a correctly filled form including email address "in our interest".

Today my special friend here in Phuket was unhappy with the service given at Bangkok Bank and goes to another one, all conveniently located in the shopping mall.. In 10 minutes she had the new account opened including ATM card in hand. Previously in the morning she got a new ID card for which she waited 2 hours, that seemed a long time to her! In Argentina either matters can week and tons a paperwork! In Europe only slightly better!

Then I ask the Customer Officer if I could open a bank A/C having only a tourist visa. She looked dubious but then I explained I come to Thailand "many many times". This lady wasn't particularly smiling but she was then willing to take the application and only asked for an utility contract or something. As I will have a real need I will be more than happy to leave my money with them!

[Goyave]

Why do Thai people, as a rule, have no appreciation for the beauty that most other cultures perceive in the natural world?

I once walked a Thai women to the very edge of the Grand Canyon blindfolded. This has to be one of the most jaw-dropping experiences on earth.

She just yawned, said "uh huh", and asked where the restaurant was...

There's a French idiom that says "ventre affamé n'a pas d'oreille" ("Hungry bellies have no ears"). It seems that we could also say something similar ("Hungry bellies have no eyes") about (many) Thais, as when they are hungry, they want to eat something as soon as possible, and (almost) nothing else matters then. Apparently, your Thai girlfriend was starving!

This indifference to "natural beauty" seems to be the rule for Thai's, rather than the exception...

Well, YMMV, but that's not what I've observed, as most of the Thai women that I've met so far are calling me "handsome man". Therefore, they are at least not indifferent to my "natural beauty"!

[Naughty]

Why do Thai people, as a rule, have no appreciation for the beauty that most other cultures perceive in the natural world?

I once walked a Thai women to the very edge of the Grand Canyon blindfolded. This has to be one of the most jaw-dropping experiences on earth.

She just yawned, said "uh huh", and asked where the restaurant was.

All around us, tourists from all over the world were standing there awestruck.

This indifference to "natural beauty" seems to be the rule for Thai's, rather than the exception.

Why is this?

[LittleBigMan]

I guess the big question then would be, how did she get to the point where she is different. Does this mean you can take the girl out of Thailand and you can take the Thailand out of the girl?

I don't know the exact details in which she got to the U.S. but I met her 10 years ago in a Massage parlor, through the years of seeing her professionally I became friends with her. For her she save every penny she earned, learn more English and now lives a American dream with both her daughters immigrated from Thailand and going to a State College.

Through the years she told me other Thai girls she worked with borrow money but never paid back. When she went home to Bangkok, she would spend around 25,000 USD on her family buying this and that... property... in the end she said even her own family lied and burned her. Her friends in the U.S. talk dirty and bad about her because she wouldn't help them any longer. In the end I guess she knew she was being used and that her current friends who are mixed races in the U.S. are more of a friend than people just lying and using her. She also knows that others could be like this but feels she is happy with her current non-Thai friends. I guess you can take the Thai out of a Thai to a certain extend?

LBM

[Pita123]

I have a Thai lady friend back home and it was a surprise to me that she said... I don't associate myself with Thai's any longer. I don't want anything to do with my family in Thailand and that Thai's are selfish people!

I guess the big question then would be, how did she get to the point where she is different. Does this mean you can take the girl out of Thailand and you can take the Thailand out of the girl?

[LittleBigMan]

The whole approach on your part began with an askewed preposition. Regardless of culture, if you do something with the expectation of the others behavior has been coined as manipulative and / or codependant behavior. It was your expectations the ones the ones that were challenged. The common proverb that many do not want to follow is, "If you do not want the answer, do not ask the question." You stated that things were not working out, and you also say that in the west the "expectation" is to say, "I am sorry, let's work it out." That necesarilly has not to be true. If the other person believes its worth the effort, you might get that answer, If not, chances are that you will receive one like the one you got. Long distance relationships are hard to begin with. If there is no mutual commitment, it is bound to failure, regardless of cultural upbringing.

I think nearly everything 98% what was said is true, I myself in the beginning didn't believe it would make a difference " Cultural Upbringing " but since being here a few years I'm frustrated when I go home and speak of some of the things or ways Thai's think. My response is from family and friends " Its common sense " it's like 2 and 2 equals 4 to us!

I didn't want to believe it but I have seen it first hand time and time again and have been told my many Farang Expats that have lived here for 20 plus or 30 plus years that Thai's are very selffish people! I have a Thai lady friend back home and it was a surprise to me that she said... I don't associate myself with Thai's any longer. I don't want anything to do with my family in Thailand and that Thai's are selfish people! You say " Mutual Commitment " their upbringing seems to teach and past on... that you come first... therefore if that approach is taken yes it fails because it take 2 to make it work!

LBM

[Pita123]

The whole approach on your part began with an askewed preposition.

On my part? This isn't something that happened me but to someone I know. Jing!

[Latin Bound]

Ok, for all the professors of psychology and sociology out there...

Do Thais ever say "I'm sorry"?

Scenario: A man an a TG are having a long distance relationship. Things start to go in the wrong direction. The man says that things don't look like they are going to work out hoping to hear "I'm sorry, you are right, let's work on this together" and instead hears "If you want me to go away, tell me, I'll go away". In the west he'd expect that she's going to try to convince him that she's sorry and wants to make it up or show him that she wants him. Is this a clash of cultures? Could it just be linked to a specific TG who lacks self esteem and has been disappointed many times?

The whole approach on your part began with an askewed preposition. Regardless of culture, if you do something with the expectation of the others behavior has been coined as manipulative and / or codependant behavior. It was your expectations the ones the ones that were challenged. The common proverb that many do not want to follow is, "If you do not want the answer, do not ask the question." You stated that things were not working out, and you also say that in the west the "expectation" is to say, "I am sorry, let's work it out." That necesarilly has not to be true. If the other person believes its worth the effort, you might get that answer, If not, chances are that you will receive one like the one you got. Long distance relationships are hard to begin with. If there is no mutual commitment, it is bound to failure, regardless of cultural upbringing.

[LittleBigMan]

All of my Thai friends are feminine and of the short time variety.

All of my non-Thai friends are Farangs.

The rest are aquaintences.

Daddy07,

My question was relating on what Farang observations living here or not as to their opinions about friendship between Thai vs. Thai? In my opinion they seem to be very short term just like your feminine short time variety!

LBM

[Daddy07]

... I wonder what is the perpective of many here on the board regarding friendship Thai and Thai?

LBM

All of my Thai friends are feminine and of the short time variety.

All of my non-Thai friends are Farangs.

The rest are aquaintences.

[LittleBigMan]

I think basically when a Thai person says, "sorry," they mean they acknowledge that you don't like something they've done; however, they're still going to do whatever they want to do despite what you think. Essentially, there's no real remorse in the sense that would predicate a future change in behavior.

Fon Tok,

Another well put perpective about Sorry! and now I briefly touched on the subject.. I wonder what is the perpective of many here on the board regarding friendship Thai and Thai?

LBM

[Fon Tok]

Personally I don't think they really know the true meaning of Sorry! Just like they don't really know what " Double Standard " " Hypocrite " Sorry is a word they have heard from Farangs but don't have a clue as to how to truly mean they are sorry through actions!...LBM

I think basically when a Thai person says, "sorry," they mean they acknowledge that you don't like something they've done; however, they're still going to do whatever they want to do despite what you think. Essentially, there's no real remorse in the sense that would predicate a future change in behavior.

[LittleBigMan]

Ok, for all the professors of psychology and sociology out there...

Do Thais ever say "I'm sorry"?

Scenario: A man an a TG are having a long distance relationship. Things start to go in the wrong direction. The man says that things don't look like they are going to work out hoping to hear "I'm sorry, you are right, let's work on this together" and instead hears "If you want me to go away, tell me, I'll go away". In the west he'd expect that she's going to try to convince him that she's sorry and wants to make it up or show him that she wants him. Is this a clash of cultures? Could it just be linked to a specific TG who lacks self esteem and has been disappointed many times?

Personally I don't think they really know the true meaning of Sorry! Just like they don't really know what " Double Standard " " Hypocrite " Sorry is a word they have heard from Farangs but don't have a clue as to how to truly mean they are sorry through actions! Even when they say they are Sorry! they loose face inside. But at the same time they have no trouble asking you to say sorry!

Unable to apply and know the true meaning of the word is the reason I feel Thai's do not have long term friendships. Personally I don't know a Thai that can say this person has been my friend for 30 years. Long term friendship are build on the ability of individuals to say and show they are truly sorry. In Thai culture that person is a friend one day and the next they are no longer. They will speak badly of them behind their backs but the next day still be able to sit on a table and have a drink with them and smile.

Sorry if this isn't exactly your definition of Sorry!

LBM

[NicFrenchy]

They might apologize if it leads to immediate gain, but if they're sincerely inclined to correct a mistake, they'd prefer everyone to act as if the problem never happened.

Yes, and everyone DOES act as if nothing happened... then turn away adn gossip about the problem/or person for a whole month.