Hermosillo

[El Fuego]

Apologize for the odd capitalization problem in my previous post. This happened after I submitted the report, so not sure what the deal is there.

[El Fuego]

the post below is way overdue, and highlights my virgin trip to hermosillo in june of 2007. i finally got off my arse and cleaned up my notes enough to post. i've since visited hermosillo about eight more times and feel quite comfortable and familiar with the city and the clubs there. i even have a current novia who lives (and works) there. and no, i won't share her info or details. sorry! maybe when i'm finished with her.)

prologue:

i intended for today to be a glowing testament as to how i took all of the info i've read on this site, had glorious conquests, and made the most out of my first day in hermosillo. instead, the day turned into something slightly different. not bad, but different. after reading this report, your first response might be "damn, i'm never driving to, driving in, or visiting hermosillo! ", but it shouldn't be. read on.

getting there, and cops i:

i purchased a six month insurance policy for my truck, and i purchased a tourist visa at the checkpoint just south of nogales. no car permit is necessary. the drive from phoenix was relatively uneventful. there was some sort of drug / weapons / dui checkpoint about 5-10 miles outside of hermosillo, and this was my first interaction with the hermosillo police / federales (not sure which). but, since i did not have any drugs or guns (and was sober! ), i was on my way within seconds.

business and cops ii:

my first order of business after checking into my hotel friday afternoon (2pm) was to buy gas. i burned a lot just getting to hermosillo, finding my hotel, and then briefly exploring the city to find some of the various clubs. as i was parked at the gas station, and still in my vehicle (in all the cities i've visited in mex, they pump the gas for you), two enterprising muchachos (youths) began to clean my windows. rapidly. usually, i would shoo them away, but my windows were dirty and i thought, what the hell i'll support the local economy. no more than 20 seconds after they began. and just prior to their finishing the job. a police pickup truck came barreling at me full frontal, and very fast. i could see the faces of the two officers inside the truck and they meant serious business. one of them was pointing, menacingly, directly at me. a thousand things blew through my mind, the last of which was, f**k, i'm going to a mexican jail for an as yet undetermined reason. the pickup truck skidded to a stop just in front of my truck, smoke billowing from the rear tires. at this moment, both window-cleaning muchachos took off like rabbits. one kid ran faster than i've seen anyone run in a long time. in fact, he flew across 8. yes 8. lanes of speeding traffic with no concern whatsoever for his own personal safety. i still can't believe he didn't get clipped. both officers, at this same moment, bolted from their truck in hot pursuit. my dread quickly turned to elation as i realized 1) the cops weren't after me, and 2) i had some free entertainment while i gassed up. however, somehow during the excitement, the gas pump operator found a way to scam me. i know this because just before this happened, the pump was reading approx. $12us and i was at 1/2 tank (i left the key in to listen to xm radio, and i already had 1/4 tank of gas before i arrived at the station). by the time the excitement ended and my fuel tank was full, the pump read $49. 50. so, either i was the stupid gringo and got scammed, or i misunderstood how my gas guage worked (note. future experiences confirmed that i was scammed. my fuel gauge was fine). regardless, i was glad my second run-in with the police was not really 'my' run-in. : ^)

time to monger:

after this excitement, i went to one of the the massage parlors listed on this site. pieles finisimas. it took some time to find it, then i didn't know where to park. i finally figured it out, went in, and had some fun, but it was nothing to write home (or here! ) about. after leaving, i couldn't find grupo lilians no matter how hard i searched, and i also couldn't find gau gua, which i learned later had been closed for some time. i decided to check out the strip club scene next. found lord black. parked in a secure, covered and fenced lot right next door. the lot is run by a muchacho who charged me $2. money well spent, imho, as my truck is new. entered the bar, and settled in. i just received my first cerveza and settled my a$$ into the comfortable chair (and my type of hot latina just began her stage dance). yummy! things were looking up.

freeze! (cops iii):

then, in a split second, no less than 30. that's right, i said 30. not '15 but it seemed like 30'. but 30 heavily armed (and some masked with full riot gear) police officers stormed the building. for the second time in one day, i was positive i was going to a mexican jail for, again, reasons as yet unknown. a burly officer approached me (as other officers were approaching other customers, rounding up the girls, rounding up the staff, shutting down the music, etc.), and he ordered me to put my arms in the air. you can bet your f#$*ating cajones i put my arms in the air! he proceeded to pat me down, grab my pockets, my arms, my legs, my crotch, the usual areas (i assume, as i've never been patted down before in mex, but the other customers seemed to be getting the same treatment), removing my phone and keys from my pockets and placing them on the table. he then told me i could sit back down. for the next 15 minutes there was quite a commotion upstairs. the club is tri-level, pretty cool, and the girls' dressing rooms are upstairs on the third floor which is very cool 'cuz there is a 'fire station' type of pole they can slide down onto the stage. but, i digress.

ultimately, two girls were led out in their street clothes. not long after, the cops left and it was business as usual. apparently, this ruckus was over ids (either the girls didn't have them or they were ****, perhaps? ). i didn't ask questions, as i was just happy to have once again avoided a negative outcome to my third interaction with the hermosillo police.

more mongering:

at one point later, i had a blonde on my lap, i paid for a 16$ drink for her, and then she had to go dance. thank you and adios, as she was not my type (too 'thick', though definitely attractive which is why i bought her the drink). and there was a hot latina just finishing on stage that i was interested in. mine! mine! a few minutes later, i visited a lord black owned room across the street from the club, with this hot latina. the room sucked (small, hot, humid and dirty), and though we were into each other, neither of us was 'into' the experience. i certainly would not do it again. next time i'd set up a 'date' for later that night or the next day. i left lord black's after that.

wtf?! (aka cops iv):

so, now i'm driving around after drinking four cervezas at lord black, and i get pulled over by the police. for the third time that day, i thought i was going to a mexican jail for reasons yet unknown, and for the fourth time that day i was 'interacting' with the local policia. now, i'll be the first to admit that my spanish comprehension is not perfect. in a conversational setting with a latina target, i can certainly hold my own. however, i had absolutely no idea what this officer was saying to me or why he had pulled me over. i must have played the 'stupid gringo' card very well, because after a few minutes of painfully attempting to communicate and mis-understanding each other, he let me go with what i assume was a warning.

i was still curious as to why i had been pulled over (i think the officer was telling me that i was driving the wrong way on a one way street, but that didn't make any sense), so i decided to double-back and examine the intersection. sure enough, only then did i see the *tiny* sign above the stop sign. it was an arrow pointing right, apparently meaning i was supposed to only turn right at the intersection despite the a) green light above the intersection, b) continuation of the street ahead of me complete with double yellow line, and c) absence of any 'do not pass' or 'no hay pasado' signs. whatever. for some reason, the mexicans and costa ricans have a fascination with two-way streets that abruptly turn into one-way streets without warning. perhaps this is some kind of test for gringos. i certainly failed, if this is the case.

laying low, and cops v:

i found a cool sports bar (sport planet, in the hotel zone) and hung out there for the rest of the night, visiting with the locals, listening to live music and drinking tecates. i left the bar heading back to my hotel (declined a few offers from the street walkers outside), hit the main street, and then. are you f&8$*#ing kidding me? ! i found myself stopped at a mandatory police checkpoint in the middle of the road. this time i was positive i was in trouble. i wasn't drunk, but as we all know, most cops can tell if you've had even a few beers and this checkpoint was obviously designed for this very purpose. the officer asked me if i have been drinking. "well, yeah", i thought, "i'm in mexico with hot latinas, aren't i? " thank goodness my brain was still capable of controlling my mouth, as i said "no, no cervezas para mi. " then the cop asked me if i had any drugs or weapons, and finally if i had had any whiskey. not sure why he chose the word 'whiskey', but it made me laugh and i said "no, no whiskey. " while chuckling. i guess this answer and/or the delivery of the answer convinced him i was alright and he let me go. i headed back to my hotel hardly believing my good fortune, and then i went to sleep looking forward to tomorrow, my first saturday in hermosillo.

epilogue:

was i stupid for drinking and driving? absolutely, especially in an unknown mexican city. however, given the number of interactions i had with the police in one day and the fact that i emerged unrep001hed, i'd classify hermosillo as a pretty safe town for a gringo. no shakedowns, no tickets and no bribes necessary. also, i never once had a problem with any of the locals.

my favorite massage place was rubi's masajes near the holiday inn. i actually took two of the hottest girls there (yadira and lluvia. their real names, ibana and lilliana. their artistic names) on a date on saturday night after they got off work at 7pm. we had a blast, though i desperately wanted lluvia, and yadira wanted me, so the sex angle wasn't in my favor. sadly too: ^(, as lluvia is ridiculously hhoott and very much my type. she told me she only does massage and does not do p4p. i verified this later, so even more sadness. sniff.

i absolutely recommend hermosillo as a mongering destination. i stopped going because i dated a stripper there for about six weeks (truly dating. think trips to the beach at bahia del kino every weekend with her daughter, dinners, dancing, free sex, etc.) and it didn't work out. the other girls working in the same club were jealous at the amount of time and money i spent with/on her, and they eventually convinced her i was working them for sex as well, which was a flat out lie, but whatever. i just couldn't bring myself to continue going to hermosillo after that. it worked out for me because i shifted my focus to mexicali, which is much better than hermosillo for the type of mongering i prefer, and closer for me too! ironically, in rocky point i met up with another girl i was tight with in hermosillo, and she and i have been seeing a lot of each other in rocky point. go figure. i may have to re-visit hermosillo in the near future.

all in all, i really like hermosillo. it is the most 'normal' town i've ever visited in mexico. not a border town crawling with gringos and low-lifes, not a tourist trap again crawling with gringos and with poverty just beyond the last beautiful resort, but a very 'normal' town with 'normal', educated (mostly) mexicanas. ymmv, as they say, but give it a try!

editor's note: i certainly hope that the author or somebody else will post a link to this report in the reports of distinction thread. please click here for more information.

[Wanderer2222]

Any info on bars and massage in Hermosillo?

[Admin]

Thread Starter.