Safe sex in The Philippines

[WestCoast1]

My thoroughly ego and ethnocentric mantra is they ALL want to be seeded by some affluent responsible "1st World" citizen. There was a day I did indeed dream of seeding every damn one of them. Days long gone, LOL.

I still have "the dream" haha.

[Pete Benetar]

Later she said: "Can I ask? Next time sex you cum my poosy. I want baby to you.".

I virtually never use a cover and don't tell them I'm vasectomized either and cannot recall any of these poor underdeveloped world girls asking me NOT to cum in them. My thoroughly ego and ethnocentric mantra is they ALL want to be seeded by some affluent responsible "1st World" citizen. There was a day I did indeed dream of seeding every damn one of them. Days long gone, LOL. Not condoning irresponsible fathering by any means, etc, just IMO.

[Geneva Guy]

I had to laugh when I read WC's story about vasectomy and potency, etc. Couple of things I have heard from filipinas:

-When they get fucked a man puts "air" into their bellies so if their bellies seem bigger after fucking, its the man's fault for putting air in there. My solution was to tell her that I can let the air out by squeezing her belly button (now this girl was a more educated one from manilla)

-Another story. One said I "took her ass" because I fucked her doggy style. In the pussy. Tried to explain that was not anal sex. But she was insistent. We meet in Singapore in March. So may try to introduce her to real anal sex hehehe.

-I have been successful in teaching a few of them how to use continuous oral contraceptives (so they don't get their menstrual period, which most of them think is dangerous, but I have worked on convincing them this is OK). So they use OCs and since I'm not vas safe, I can still cum in them.

GG

[WestCoast1]

BTW, filipinos (men and women) have this false impression that a vasectomy changes your masculinity (like having your balls removed). When I told a woman recently that I was "safe" because I was vasectomised she said "Oh, so we cannot have sex then. Vasectomy makes you impotent". I needed to disabuse her that there is a difference between "impotent" as in not having sperm and erectile dysfunction which means not getting hard. After a practical session she eventually understood the difference, but so many people, and not only in the Philippines, do not understand that it has no effect on the libido. In fact, for me, it increased it. Just sayin.

Did the young lady think you had been castrated and had fake balls inserted?

Along the same lines, I've had several filipinas express similar thoughts, either because of the vasectomy, or just my age."You have vasectmee you dick not get hard." I hope she was pleasantly surprised at her misinformation. Most recently was a provincial gal in mindanao, who was unaware of my vas. While in the throws of banging she asked me not to cum in her poosy: "I don't want a pregnant." I was too busy to explain a vasectomy and was not sure she even knew what that was. So I pulled out and came a ton across the roof of her mouth, upper lip, and across her nose (she swallowed without blinking). Later she said: "Can I ask? Next time sex you cum my poosy. I want baby to you." Wait. Wait. You said before you DIDN'T want a baby."Yes I said that. But I am wrong. I'm thinking you too old to have a sex. I'm thinking you cannot have good feenish. But you feenish strong I can taste its big to me." She went on to explain that after seeing pics of my kids, she was sure our baby would be a boy, and "have a blue eye." Somehow in the few hours between the time we f*cked and the time we had this last conversation, she had worked a fantasy of our child into her mind, and thought the amount of my ejaculate measured my child-making potency. How the f*ck could she be THIS hot, and THIS misinformed? She's provincial filipina, that's how.

[Red Kilt]

I don't feel an iota of guilt; my present girl has made it clear she is interested in having children eventually. Several years from now if I decide that's not going to happen, we may part ways and in that case I am fully confident both the lass and myself will be better off; me with some very good years of companionship and she with a new life and citizenship here.

Good strategy Pete. No need for any guilt at all.

I actually wasn't directing my general comments about "having babies" to you in particular (just so it's clear). I was talking about the "generic" older guys who find places like the Philippines later in life.

[Paul Kausch]

The very BEST thing is not to get cut if you think you will need a reversal in the future.

The obvious candidates are the "older" guys who suddenly discover the Philippines with its abundance of young women who want a mestizo baby and who do not have the will-power / discipline / balls (whatever the word is) to just say to her "let's be friends but if you want a baby then I am NOT your guy".

I make this clear to any woman who hits on me in chat or anywhere else and talks about having a "loving family". I have one at the moment who is sexy as hell and whose profile is dripping with "Brady Bunch" scenarios.

I told her upfront before we even met about no family and no babies. It didn't faze her at all. She was still good to go, and obviously realised that all that sentimental stuff could come later after she had some fun with the foreigner.

Hear, hear! Don't get cut unless you are 100% sure you're never going to want to reverse it. Not 99. 999% sure. 100% sure.

Having said that. When I got cut, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It's never gotten in the way of any of my relationships. I didn't breakup with the girlfriend who wanted a baby with me over that; and since then she has not had a child. I've had a number of young girlfriends over the years who said they loved the fact that I didn't have to use a condom and they didn't have to worry about getting pregnant. Even though many were on the pill they said they liked the fact that preventing a pregnancy was not entirely up to them and they could be absolutely certain it would not happen. After all, even the pill is not 100% effective. Almost, but not quite. They were adamant that it made the sex much more enjoyable for them, and more willing to try new things I might add. Yes, in addition to not having to worry about getting pregnant, bareback feels better for the woman too! One lady told me fucking with a condom was like shaking hands wearing a glove.

If you're a monger and inclined to ride bareback, personally I think it is irresponsible unless you've had a vasectomy. If you want to risk contracting an STD, that's your business so long as you take care of it promptly and don't spread it around. Of course I realize you may have sex with other women before the symptoms appear, so I take that back, but this string of posts is about vasectomies and unplanned pregnancies, so I'll try to stick to the topic. The point is most STD can be treated and cured. Terminating a pregnancy is another matter. Sure she can get an abortion, but realistically how likely is that in the Philippines?

[Pete Benetar]

I told her upfront before we even met about no family and no babies. It didn't faze her at all. She was still good to go, and obviously realised that all that sentimental stuff could come later after she had some fun with the foreigner.

IME, the whole issue of baby and family become a very distant objective when even the slightest of possibilities of traveling to a developed country (or at least the US) is entertained. Though for short term engagements it's never been a serious source of discussion. I'm always vague and nebulous to any prospect in part because it's genuine. I don't want kids now but that might change depending on if I really care that much to make her happier than she is now (wife grew up in a central african village; moving to an affluent, very well devoloped metro area in US, she's still very happy as is 18 months later). But there are several alternatives to having a child with her (if reversal or frozen sperm aren't options). Adoption or artificial insemination or I've got an I'd twin too, etc, etc.

I don't feel an iota of guilt; my present girl has made it clear she is interested in having children eventually. Several years from now if I decide that's not going to happen, we may part ways and in that case I am fully confident both the lass and myself will be better off; me with some very good years of companionship and she with a new life and citizenship here.

[Red Kilt]

<<<<< SNIP (rather a good term given the topic (LOL)

The best thing a user can do is make sure the surgeon has trained / is certified in microsurgery and how many reversals the surgeon has done.

The very BEST thing is not to get cut if you think you will need a reversal in the future.

The obvious candidates are the "older" guys who suddenly discover the Philippines with its abundance of young women who want a mestizo baby and who do not have the will-power / discipline / balls (whatever the word is) to just say to her "let's be friends but if you want a baby then I am NOT your guy".

I make this clear to any woman who hits on me in chat or anywhere else and talks about having a "loving family". I have one at the moment who is sexy as hell and whose profile is dripping with "Brady Bunch" scenarios.

I told her upfront before we even met about no family and no babies. It didn't faze her at all. She was still good to go, and obviously realised that all that sentimental stuff could come later after she had some fun with the foreigner.

[Pete Benetar]

BTW, filipinos (men and women) have this false impression that a vasectomy changes your masculinity (like having your balls removed). When I told a woman recently that I was "safe" because I was vasectomised she said "Oh, so we cannot have sex then.

Hey Red, those numbers are for sure all over the place and are most representative of experienced urologists who are trained in microsurgery and experienced at that, which is the kind of surgeon you would want. There are also different numbers for technical success (the numbers I gave, which is simply sperm getting back through the vas deferens and into the spooge) and clinical or pregnancy success, which is the % of couples who are able to get pregnant following vas reversal. Pregnancy rates are invariably going to be lower not just because there will invariably be lower sperm counts post reversal (compared to younger days or normal population) but also at least some failures due to the woman's reproductive tract. But most trials show over 50% pregnancy success if reversed earlier than 10 years post the vasectomy.

The modern vas techniques I bet do enhance success of reversal, but an experienced microsurgeon should be able to cut away the scarred tube and re-ligate. They may only need to fix the vas end to end, but if the vas is blocked most ways, then the surgeon has to do an anatomosis between an open stretch of the tube into the epidydimis itself, which is small stretch of coiled tubing that matures the sperm on top of the testicle. That also reduces technical success.

All this to say there are a lot of variables that complicate the end goal of pregnancy success. I look at technical success more because at that point I know the guy is at least then on live fire. The best thing a user can do is make sure the surgeon has trained / is certified in microsurgery and how many reversals the surgeon has done.

[Paul Kausch]

That may be true nowadays but back when I had my vasectomy (1990) they cut a piece out of the vas and burned up the ends so that it couldn't accidentally "re-connect". None of the guys in my age circle with vasectomies have had success with reversal operations.

I understand that nowadays they cut and put a small cap over each end and so reversal is more straightforward but I do not know anyone who had had a successful reversal, despite Pete B's no doubt well-researched statistics quoted above.

When I told a woman recently that I was "safe" because I was vasectomised she said "Oh, so we cannot have sex then.

This makes sense. As I said in a previous post I knew a guy in the 80's who had a successful reversal. He said it worked and his wife subsequently got pregnant again. Who knows, maybe a cover story. The urologist who did mine, by the way no shit his name was Paul Hacker and claimed to have a brother named Peter; at any rate he cut out a segment and tied the loose ends. And as I also mentioned in the previous post my MD girlfriend told me not bother with trying to have it reversed. Like I said earlier, only do it if you never plan to have it reversed.

Did the young lady think you had been castrated and had fake balls inserted? Know a guy who had testicular cancer who's walking around with fake balls.

All of this reminds me of a funny cartoon. Dog is in the back seat of a car pulling out of the drive way. Dog's head is hanging out the rear window. Dog says to his next door beagle buddy,"Hey Ralph, guess what! They're taking me to get tutored.". Well I thought it was funny.

[Red Kilt]

Vasectomies may also be reversed with good results, approaching 90%+ return of sperm within 3 years and dropping down near 70% following 10-15 years post vas.

That may be true nowadays but back when I had my vasectomy (1990) they cut a piece out of the vas and burned up the ends so that it couldn't accidentally "re-connect". None of the guys in my age circle with vasectomies have had success with reversal operations.

I understand that nowadays they cut and put a small cap over each end and so reversal is more straightforward but I do not know anyone who had had a successful reversal, despite Pete B's no doubt well-researched statistics quoted above.

I had to undergo a quite thorough Q & A session before I had the operation, and the doctor insisted my (now ex)-wife accompany me so that he was reassured that we were both in agreement. We had a medical reason (on her side) for having the op so it proceeded. If you go in for a vasectomy with no good reason other than that "you want to fuck your brains out with many different women and don't want them to get pregnant" then it is possible only "shonky" doctors will do it (for the fee of course). If you go in for a vasectomy and immediately start talking about a possible need to have it reversed in the future you may find that a doctor will want to know if you really do want to have the operation. Of course, having a vasectomy may also leave one more prepared to indulge in bareback sex which has its own set of additional risks but that's another topic (discussed endlessly on most chat boards).

BTW, filipinos (men and women) have this false impression that a vasectomy changes your masculinity (like having your balls removed). When I told a woman recently that I was "safe" because I was vasectomised she said "Oh, so we cannot have sex then. Vasectomy makes you impotent". I needed to disabuse her that there is a difference between "impotent" as in not having sperm and erectile dysfunction which means not getting hard. After a practical session she eventually understood the difference, but so many people, and not only in the Philippines, do not understand that it has no effect on the libido. In fact, for me, it increased it. Just sayin.....

[Paul Kausch]

Vasectomies may also be reversed with good results, approaching 90%+ return of sperm within 3 years and dropping down near 70% following 10-15 years post vas.

Yes, the MD girlfriend I mentioned in my previous post and I discussed this. After she did her research, she ruled it out for me (I was 20+ years post op) and this was about 7 years ago. I had a friend many years ago who had one then lost one of his children, he had it successfully reversed and that was thirty years ago. Regardless, my advice, don't have it done if you have any intention of having it reversed in the future.

[Pete Benetar]

I agree. I got mine many years ago and want no more kids. But if you have not and are a sex addict like me, you can get vasectomized, and freeze your sperm for future babies if you want.

Vasectomies may also be reversed with good results, approaching 90%+ return of sperm within 3 years and dropping down near 70% following 10-15 years post vas.

[Paul Kausch]

I agree. I got mine many years ago and want no more kids. But if you have not and are a sex addict like me, you can get vasectomized, and freeze your sperm for future babies if you want.

Thanks for bring up the topic: safe sex is about avoiding STDs and unplanned pregnancies. I think it is archaic to take the attitude,"it's her problem." She doesn't get pregnant without your participation and we all know the Philippines is predominantly a Roman Catholic country. No surprise Filipinos know little about sex other than what gets stuck where. But we have the knowledge and should use it wisely and be considerate.

I wish to underscore Luvpuss' comment about vasectomies. I had mine in my mid-30's after my second child was born. One of the best decisions I ever made. Never had to worry. Condoms were only necessary if I was worried about an STD. In my forties I was going through a divorce and having an affair with a much younger wench. Well surprise, surprise one day she tells me she's pregnant and I'm the father. Fuck off I said. When I was in my mid-50's I was in a relationship with a great lady in her late 30's. She was a physician, making great money in her specialty, very independent and a great lady. She thought it was a shame I had a vasectomy, otherwise she wanted to have a baby with me. Thought the fetus would get a double dose of great genes (which I took as a compliment). A year later we stopped seeing each other. One of the things that want through my mind at the time was how much more complicated it would be if we had an infant to take into consideration. A problem I didn't want to deal with as a man approaching 60. Guys, unless you really want children and are prepared to be an involved father, get a vasectomy.

It's a simple out-patient procedure; extremely low risk of complications; done under a general; minimal discomfort if any after the procedure; your quickly back in business. And as Luvpuss points out, if you want to cover your bases, just make a deposit at a sperm bank.

[Luvpuss]

"Safe sex" as a title almost always connotes the option of having sex without catching any disease.

For me, the more insidious problem is the fact alluded to my my friend GE about the absence of sex education at any level in the Philippines which means that getting pregnant is an unplanned accident that happens with unfortunate regularity. Filipino parents are conservative and reluctant to discuss sex with their kids. I have had numerous discussions on this very topic with a number of mixed secondary school classes (girls and boys) and their levels of ignorance are mind-boggling. For example: virgins cannot get pregnant the first time they have sex; you will get very sick if you have sex during menstruation; you will get cancer of the mouth if you have oral sex (boys and girls) etc etc.

Very few filipinas have even a basic idea about their menstrual cycle; when they are most fertile; how they can get pregnant; how the contraceptive pill works; what a condom is and does etc etc. The boys are equally ignorant and should also be included as an integral part of the sex education mission so that they understand what damage they can do by reckless sex with random girls.

My point is that for those guys who have NOT been vasectomised and who eschew the use of condoms with their filipina partners are placing way too much responsibility onto the uneducated filipina to ensure she doesn't get pregnant. I suspect that many of you have unknowingly fathered kids throughout the Philippines. This may not matter to many (most) guys, but it would worry me. Fortunately, I use condoms despite being vasectomised, so my comments are moot, but it wouldn't hurt to quiz the girl before you leave the bar about her reproductive status (are you on the pill? If we don't use a condom how will you prevent yourself from getting pregnant? Etc) If she has no idea what you are talking about then you are playing Russian roulette with her.

I have heard guys say "Well it's not my responsibility; it's her problem".

Sad but I have heard it said more than once or twice.

I agree. I got mine many years ago and want no more kids. But if you have not and are a sex addict like me, you can get vasectomized, and freeze your sperm for future babies if you want.