Guatemala City

[Dodger Bulldog]

"Culito" means little ass, and the chicas definitely prefer it over culo.

"Paranga" is slang for cock.

I like to say "chupame mi paranga." It is in the command form, as in "close the window."

This has a bit of a nasty connotation, similar to "I'm going to fuck the shit out of you" does in English. When you use it they might tell you not to say bad words, but usually with a smile.

Yes, the slang word for cock is feminine. Is Spanish great language, or what?

DB

[Grand Pollo]

Culo and sometimes cula even though it is not a feminine noun is usually used for ass, vs. the medical term, trasero.

Bicho is often used for pussy. Chocho/cha is common in the DR as well.

I am not sure of the need to use an indirect object pronoun (me) for the chupar example - me chupas mi pene means - to me, suck my penis. Chupame (suck me) or chupa mi pene (imperative form of chupar) is a way to say this.

Actually "quiero que chupes mi pene" says I want you to , using the proper subjunctive form of chupar and not expressing it as a question, but a stated desire. This is an ideal way to talk, even to a P4P girl.

Coger is spelled with a g and not a j. Coger also means "get" in many Latin American countries (the DR it does not mean fuck) and as such chingar is found as a typical word for fuck as well. Where coger is used for fuck use conseguir or obtener for get. Chingar is pronounced sin-gar with a silent h.

If you don't want to say "fuck" and with some, really most, girls you don't need to be crude for no reason, use "Quiero hacer amor contigo", I want to make love with you. No sense offending people.

[Artisttyp]

Penis-pene
vagina- chocha
ass-trasero

me gusta lamer-I like to lick
me chupas mi pene- you suck my dick
estilo perro-doggy style
sesenta nueve-69
cojer-fuck

[Double]

I have met a woman from Guatemala. I am attempting to speak to her about sex. What are the words that are used to say penis, vagina, and ass in Guatemala?

I have attempted to ask her but she says that she does not understand.

Any help that anyone can provide would be helpful........

Thanks

[Dodger Bulldog]

I learned of a place in Zona 2 and decided to go exploring.

Take 6A Avenida, the main road through Zona 9, and pass through Zonas 4 and 1 into Zona 2. After you reach Zona 2 you will soon come to a major thoroughfare which is Calle Marti (it would be 5 Calle if it had a number).

Turn right and go four blocks to 10 Avenida. Parking is on the side street, where there are assistants to direct you, and even extend an umbrella when it rains. Walk to the club which is facing Calle Marti and is only identified by the large numerals in front, 10-54.

It is a bar, located in an surprisingly large house with several rooms. There is no entry fee, and they didn't even bother patting me down. Everyone was very friendly and the help was quite attentive, without becoming pushy.

Beer costs only 20 Q, and on this Saturday night I actually got twofers for that price. The chica I was with told me that was unusual.

She said they hardly ever see a gringo in there. Once in a while a rare Japanese or Korean, but usually just Guatelmaltecos.

This is exactly the kind of local club I have been hoping to find. I am sure that there must be many more like it.

Out of about 20 chicas, I saw one tall, slender stunner. There were 3-4 more I would have had no problem doing, and it went on down from there. A fairly typical assortment.

Many couples (very recently formed, I should note) were dancing to a mix of American and Latin music with some occasional reggaeton.

I got the stunner's attention, and found that "Lucky" was very friendly and sweet. Servicio costs only 220 Q for 1/2 hour, the cheapest I have found in any club here.

She wanted to do CBJ, but agreed to BBBJ for a few minutes. I was pleased that DFK was included. We did three other positions, starting with cowgirl, then doggie, and finishing with me on top.

Lucky was muy caliente!

Afterwards I bought her a drink (chica drinks 45 Q), and we had a pleasant chat. She told me the hours were 6 PM to 1 AM six nights a week, closed on Sunday.

It's definitely worth checking out!

DB

[Shtupp]

Hi Dodger,

I was at the Calle Montefur MP at Plaza Espana shopping center last Thursday and there were 4 chicas working there. They were average looking girls, but they weren't ugly and for somebody who is horny I think any one of them would do. For the benefit of the forum their price structure is:

200Q - 1/2 hr massage, oral, happy ending
300Q - 1/2 hr massage, oral, sexo
400Q - 1 hr massage, oral, sexo

I chose Brenda, a 23 yo slim morena who had a nice smile and was friendly at the reception.

We went upstairs for a half hour and there she gave a mediocre massage quickly followed by about a 3 minute blowjob and then to the main event which was very uninspired and mechanical. Also, the room was as hot as hell and there was no fan or a/c.

Overall, I wouldn't go back there unless it was a cool day and I was really horny during the day when the nightclubs like Cats and Venus are closed.

I think I would have to agree with you DB that your best bet is to stick with the club girls and pay the 400Q or so. The service is much better as I don't think the club chicas are going through as many men as a MP chica.

Next month I will try out some escort girls and let you all know how they are.

[Dodger Bulldog]

I finally got specific directions from a fellow monger for "La Linea," so called because it is a long row of working girls alongside a railroad line:

"If you're looking for real 3rd word experience, ask cabbie to take you to "La Linea" In Zona 1 (approx Avenina 14 and Calle 9, Zona 1). Really fugly chicks (2-4), but sometimes you find nice ones. Can't beat it at 20-40Q ($3-5) a fuck."

So I checked it out yesterday.

Once there, you need to get out and walk, as the women are in shacks on both sides of the abandoned railroad track. It runs for approximately four blocks.

I went in broad daylight for safety reasons, and had no concerns. In fact, two motorcycle police were there, monitoring the situation.

Some of the women were leaning in their doorways, but most were sacked out on their beds, looking totally bored. No one was making an effort to attract attention to herself.

Hundreds of men, and boys, were standing there looking around. Hoping for an angel to appear, I guess.

On the whole, the women were very gross and disgusting. I have no idea how they could ever attract anyone.

I saw one who stood out above the rest. She had a nice slender body, was maybe 30 years old (quite young for this group), and was actually dressed in attractive lingerie.

Her face was kind of mean looking, but she wasn't ugly. She was on a pay phone yelling at someone. When she got off, I followed behind to see where her love shack was.

As soon as she got to the door, a Guatelmalteco slipped in for business. Despite having some negatives, this one was clearly the pick of the litter and I imagine she keeps quite busy.

Otherwise, out of over a hundred or so women here, maybe two weren't repulsive. Not that I found them attractive, mind you, they just weren't totally repulsive like the rest.

So, I went in search of massage parlors in Zona 1. I had been monitoring Prense Libre ads for a few months, copying down every address I could find. I put them together in a spreadsheet and posted it on this thread a while back.

I could not find most of the places. It is problematic that the avenidas in Zona 1 tend to end in letters, as in Ave 6 A, Ave 2 A or 2 B, etc., so Ave 6 and 2 are very small side streets that can be quite hard to find.

I drove around looking for addresses for a total of four hours.

Some places I never could find. Others had for rent or for sale signs on them. Others were clearly different businesses, tiendas and such. Some I just didn't feel it would be wise to park my car and venture inside.

Really, for a visitor with limited time and without a car, it would be quite impractical to even attempt this. I found it to be a big waste of time.

I did try out two places.

One was at Calle 5, 0-10, in Zona 1. Actually, it was a large casa and looked better inside than I expected. There were three chicas. Two fat and ugly, and one average sized and plain. When she opened her mouth, her rotten teeth totally turned me off.

The price was 200 Q for 1/2 hour, not much of a savings over your basic club girl who costs 300 Q. I thanked them and took a pass.

The other MP I went into was in Zona 9, Calle Montefur 5-57. This is also known as Calle 12, and is inside a small shopping center called Plaza España, with convenient parking out front. Go inside and it is the last door on the right on the first floor.

There were only two chicas working, both better then at the last stop, but both pretty hefty souls. At 300 Q, there was no savings to be had here at all.

I had a pleasant conversation with the manager and told him that I want a young flaquita with a beatiful face and a friendly personality, who gives a great blow job.

It also wouldn't hurt if she could hold an intelligent conversation and is independently wealthy, LOL.

I told him that I am in search of the perfect chica...

I gave him my cell phone number and told him to call me ever he ever should be so fortunate as to employ in of these angels.

One side benefit, while wondering in Zona 1 I did stop at the street booths that sell bootleg CDs and DVDs. I picked up twelve CDs of Latin music for a total of 100 Q, ($13), and they all sound fine. Movies will run you 20 Q each.

There are SOME bargains in Guatemala, after all!

So then I went to see one of my old reliables at Cats, 3 A Calle between 4 Ave and 5 Ave in Zona 9.

Melani is a 28 year old Nica with a lovely face, rock hard body, and big beautiful eyes. She has smallish tits, but is very friendly and conversational.

Melani is quite a little ballwasher and gives by far the best blow job I have ever had in Guatemala. She did not disappoint me!

Cats has a few other decent lookers, at a cost of 400 Q for 1/2 hour plus a mandatory 10 Q for a condom.

BTW, beware of Jennifer here. She is stunning, has a perfect long and lean body with a killer ass, and can really dance. She absolutely reeks of sexuality.

I took Jennifer upstairs one time in the past, but when we got there, she wanted to turn the lights off so I could not see her, refused to take her top off, and was a complete dead fish in bed.

I complained to tha manager and demanded a replacement, and to my surprise, he agreed. Apparently this is not the first time that someone had complained about Jennifer.

Anyway, back to last night with Melani. I tipped the mamasita 15 Q in advance and asked for "un poco mas tiempo." We stayed for an hour and a half without a knock at the door.

The sex was awesome, and we had quite a nice lovers chat afterwards. I really like this chica!

A beautiful chica, great service, a wonderful time. True, you can pay less elsewhere.

But I sure went home happy boy!

DB

[Dodger Bulldog]

I got a bottle of Gallo and checked out the chicas and all but one was fat, ugly, or both

I´m in Pana and trying to find ¨the green casa on the hill¨. Shit, there are dozens of green casas here. It looks like I might have a dry spell until I get back to the City.

Exactly!

This has always been my experience when trying to find these cheap places, both inside and outside the city.

First, you spend hours trying to find some place because no one leaves decent addresses or directions on the board.

Then, these place open and close so fast that you will often find a "for rent" sign in front of them.

If you do actually get inside of one, the females (I refuse to use the endearing term "chicas" for them), are all fat ugly warthogs.

I marveled one time at a club in Xela which one monger had raved about, that I could actually be inside a room with over thirty females between the ages of 20-30, and NOT A SINGLE ONE was the least bit attractive to me. In fact, most made me want to vomit!

And these are women who sell their bodies for a living. Go figure.

We all have different tastes, I guess. Or different thresholds for pain. But the women at these "bargain" clubs and casas, they make my eyes burn!

Hey, I consider myself a bargain monger. I like a cheap fuck as much as anyone does and can negotiate price with the best of them. That is why I moved to Latin America.

But I believe that in Guatemala, at least below a certain price level of 300 Q, you truly do get what you pay for.

If I ever found a cheap one who I liked I would not hesitate to dominate her time. But in a year of searching, I am yet to find a single cheap one worth doing here.

Son of Monkey, if you are thinking of coming to Guatemala solely for sex vacation, I don't recommend it. I think you might be dissapointed. There are so many better places to go.

Yes, there are decent chicas available, for a price, if you happen to be here for other reasons. But it is not worth a special trip just to hobby.

However, do not let the crime issue of crime keep you away. It is completely overblown. The ONLY trouble I have had in a year here is when the police stopped me and hit me up for a bribe.

Sure, there could be trouble, just like any other place in the world, so be cognizant of your surroundings and don't dress or act ostentatiously.

But on the whole Guatelmaltecos are kind, generous, honest, and good people, who are willing to take extra time to try to help you.

I have made many wonderful friends in Guatemala!

DB

[Lorenzo]

Lorenzo: hmmm.... I wonder why you have got negative responses to your report?

The answer to that is simple: I haven't. The responses to my reports have been overwhelmingly positive, and on this thread, unanimously positive.

By people 'like you' I mean people who expect others to do all the work in providing information before they put any effort into finding it themselves. RTFF!

Lorenzo

[Interdude]

Hey everyone. First time in Guatemala City. Anyone have any recommendations for a non spanish person staying at gran tikal futura hotel for 1 week? Thanks everyone!

[Biffy]

Thanks Dodger, your thoughts put it into context nicely, which i find helpful.

I've spent time in SJ, LDV, Managua and Rio, Recife etc so its always helpful to manage expectations before (if) you go!

Lorenzo: people "like me" - do you know me? hmmm.... I wonder why you have got negative responses to your report?

[Dodger Bulldog]

Bif,

I've been to both the Del Rey in San Jose and LDV in Cartegena. I would say that Guatemala is to those two places as a mosquito is to an eagle.

But you might be able to find a honeybee or two here...

Guate is not cheap by any means. Normal price scales at the places where I've hung out, all quoted for 30 minutes:

Platino's, Le Club, and Capricho's 600 Q
Oro Solido 500 Q
Cats and Paradiso 400 Q (Cats adds a mandatory 10 Q for a condom)
Men's Club, Venus, Extasis 300 Q

Multiply each 100 Q times $13.

The prices typically double for a full hour, as there is rarely a volume discount. It is much better to engage a girl for 1/2 hour, and then tip 20 Q to the little old lady who runs the rooms.

Do this BEFORE you begin your session, while asking the mamasita for "un poco mas tiempo, por favor."

I haven't had one of those warning knocks at the door since I started doing this.

Hottest girls: Platino's and Le Club
Best value: Men's Club and, sometimes, Cats

Le Club insists that you buy a drink every 30 minutes. The waiters wipe your table constantly so that they can pick up your drink and try to steal it away.

If you aren't buying quickly enough to suit them, a manager comes by to shine a flashlight on drink, then on your face, then on your drink, then on your face...

A total pain in the ass.

One night at Le Club, over the course of about three hours, I bought three beers for myself, plus two chica drinks, and 1/2 hour servicio, for a total cost of 885 Q ($115).

The next two times I went back, I learned that I was "banned" for not spending enough money there!

I had to bribe the manager and promise to buy a drink for myself every 30 minutes in order to get back in to see my favorite chica.

You will find the higher class SW in Zona 9 around 12 Calle and 6 Avenida. Watch out though, the majority of them are TVs.

Cheaper SWs can be found trolling Zona 1. You definitely need to address safety issues in that part of town at night.

Do NOT ever bother stepping into Elite in Zona 10. In addition to a $25 cover charge, the girls want $150 for 1/2 hour on premises. It's a total clip joint.

Suerte,

DB

[Lorenzo]

Biffy,

I think you will find that all the questions you ask have already been answered if you would just take the time to read the forum. It constantly puzzles me why people like you think others should take the time to answer your questions when you won't make the effort to read the forum to find out what you need to know BEFORE you ask any questions.

Lorenzo

[Biffy]

Like a lot of mongers I'd like to break new ground from time to time so....

How does Guat compare with SJ or Colombia in terms of numbers and accessibility of chicas?

I know I can get to the Del Ray in SJ or LDV in Colombia and be knee deep in pussy in minutes. Whats the equivalent in Guat?

Also my MO is to check the SG's, then if nothing suits hit the clubs or bars to pick something up.

This usually requires a taxi and quite a bit of planning etc. My Spanish is limited, but I get by.

How would I fare in Guat?

Hows the situation with the often reported crime and violence???

[Shtupp]

Hey Lorenzo, thanks for taking the time to report on all those places!

I really like Venus, Paradise Club and Cats in that order. The only thing that bugs me about these places is they all like to hit you up for chica drinks. I don't remember it being this bad a few years ago.

Anyone know if the Westin Camino Real is girl friendly? I'm staying there for a couple of nights and want to try out the escort scene. I'll let you guys know how it goes, but I've been looking at a few sites:

www.hotescortsgt.com Prices quoted 400Q/hr addnl hr 200Q Kelly and Kathy look interesting

Here are some massage joints on the web. Also, they can also be found at http://www.prensalibre.com/clasi/index.html (look under "Varios" along with other escort/massage parlor services in case you can't find a newspaper:

www.sensualrelax.ya.st Zona 1 Massage joint I will investigate

www.sexypinkpanthers.com Another Zona 1 place. No chica pics

www.relajaciontotal.ya.st Same as the others, four girls pictured

Also, right next door to Venus is a white building that the taxi driver told me is another establishment open during the day - I will investigate.

If anyone can relocate Maruchas I will be forever in your debt.. I thought that place was hands down THE best brothel in Guat city and it was a great loss to the monger community when they closed. Oh well.