Managua

[Meat Loaf]

On Saturday, I and my "ex-employee" sat upon my porch watching the pedestrian traffic. Being flojo or "spoiled," I decided to sell my furniture. In approximately twenty-years of "self sufficiency" I have never sold my furniture or other material possessions. I simply give it away and claim the "gift" as a chartiable deduction on the IRS 1040. But not this time!

These Nicas and their constand requests for "free shit" made / makes me 100% grosero. For if I gave / give them anything else it would only encourage their behaivor. And I can't encourage the "mantener mentality."

So, I tell the "ex-employee" to sell the furniture. He made a few conversations on the street; he placed the muebles (ie. furniture) in-front of the house; he negotiated the sales in native-Nicaragua "Mercado Oriental" fashion. Myself, I'm a Tepito guy from Cd. Mexico when street barter is performed.

All of the furniture was sold within two (2) hours!

The house was 1,500 square feet of furniture and fixtures. (I'm a single guy.)

All of the furniture was sold to residents of my block!

All of the residents had the cash in their wallets / purses / pockets / ATM. They were not "poor" or "broke." What were all of those requests for "free sh*t" about? Opportunitists! Exploiters! In search of "bobo (ie. fools.)

I don't know if I'm impressed in the ease of sale, or what?
All I know is that they had the money in their pockets! And they asked what more I had to sell.

Granted, I sold the furniture at 1/6 of its purchase price. The furniture was purchased within the past 18-months. I achieved my objective in getting the furniture out of my possession. My other option and normal method is to give it away, but not to these "moochers." I'm happy!

Why is / was he an "ex-employee"? Although he earned lucrative commissions; free everything else; and access to the upper-crust of society via my invite; he's still Nica. What is not guarded is stolen. This "bobo" stole my C$ 800 drill with drill bits (ie. C$ 120) for resale on the street. Despite his opportunity / success in earning in US $2,000 base (ie. C$ 40,000,) he's still Nica. And Nicaragua is 100% about "getting over" on someone else, especially a foreigner (ie. Gringo.) Nicaraguans always do stupid sh*t like this! I've seen done by others to others, repeatedly.

Of course, some "stereotyping" was done in the above paragraph.

LESSON / ADVISE: Don't Spend Your Money on Anyone Other than Yourself, and P*ssy Access for C$ 150 per polvo. Or if you do, "budget" their expense and "fuck-ups" into their salary / "physical presence." This is how you SURVIVE and remian "Mentally Strong" in Nicaragua!

[Meat Loaf]

Since my pockets are always bulging with C$ 150, I rarely have anytime space to carry the vibrator. This held true yesterday as well, but I was at home so it was easily accessible.

I instructed my 32-year old "sperm sponge" to retrieve it from the habitacion (ie. bedroom.) She returned to the executive with it in hand. She sat upon my lap as I sat upon the silla ejecutiva. I gently opened her legs to the "spread eagle" position and began experimenting with the pocket rocket.

Not knowing how to work such tools, I remained lost and disinterested! She was asked if she knew what to do and her reply was no. She was told to learn how to work it as I watched. After five (5) minutes she became disinterested.

She told me that my "Meat Loaf" is more rico than the fantastic plastic. She said that the fantastic plastic only tickles while "Meat Loaf" shoots leche (ie. sperm; polov; jizz; nutt; cum; tragos; and other affectionate terms.)

She's evidence that there is no substitute for "Turca Rica."

[Dickhead]

You too will learn every Gringo that lives in Nicaragua! Why? The "Gringo Network" is your only "safety net" if the ATM card gets lost or stolen.

Well, American Express does have an office in Managua. Don't leave home without it. One time I had a brain cramp and arrived in Puerto Vallarta with no ATM card and only maybe fifty bucks. After I got done freaking out, this option occurred to me. It took forever to find the office but when I got there they said, "Certainly Mr. Head; how many thousand dollars would you like"? Excellent customer service anywhere I've ever been. Get the no-fee Amex Blue for Business. Don't have a business? Lie. They don't check.

Always carry two ATM cards for two separate accounts and never keep them in the same place.

[Dickhead]

I lived for two years in Nicaragua and used to post here quite frequently. However, for the past year I have worked in the Philippines and only have older experiences in Nicaragua.

The Latter Day Saints may arrive in Nicaragua speaking fluent Spanish, but they really don’t know how to work the culture. I used to spend 4+ days/nights per week in Villa Venezuela, which is one of the roughest barrios in Managua. I had fallen for a dancer from the old Valle Todo, Red Palace, and elsewhere. Many an afternoon while I was out front of my friends’ hut in the barrio, the Mormons (the locals referred to them as ‘Los Elderes’) would come down the street and pass out their stuff. However, Los Elderes never would come into the homes in the barrios and never spent time getting to know the people. They would just do what they had been trained to do back in Utah, but they never got involved in the lives of the locals. Hell, I had more impact on getting into the lives of the barrioistas than did Los Elederes …… and I was trying to fuck the daughters of the locals !!!

Oh, sure, I agree with that. They have no idea what's going on. They aren't allowed to go anywhere, not even to do normal touristic things. I'm just sayin' maybe other denominations are equally clueless and can't speak Spanish, but I don't really know. I only have experience with WSC (White Shirt Clowns) and not the other annoying motherfuckers.

[Meat Loaf]

The police force has stepped-up enforcement of codifications! BIG TIME.

They are generating / have increased revenues tremendously within the past 2 months. Everyone is coming out of pocket and paying the government coffers. Similar situation in the USA, correct?

Immigration (ie. la migra) has increased enforcement! They are providing deportation services to Penas Blancas, Costa Rica. They (ie. the police) who are IN FORCE on the streets with check points. They are getting monies of transfer! They are / will take you to la migra offices and the jail for holding! They are / will calculate your multa (ie. fine) and allow you to retrieve the funds at the ATM or Western Union and pay the fine. Once the fine has been paid you have five (5) days to leave the country and re-enter. Re-entry, of course, is a new visa stamp (ie. tourist) for 90 days.

This / These are the case(s) for the government's coffers, but the officers also have to get paid (ie. mordida; bribe.)

Keep your passport on your person! And current!

Police are collecting revenues from brothels (ie. wh*rehouses) with the customers being interviewed as well! Obvious tourists (ie. skin color) is a sure guarantee of bribe / presentation of passport!

They are writing tickets, creating new licenses, and assessing / collecting fines on everyone and everything!

[Meat Loaf]

The Latter Day Saints may arrive in Nicaragua speaking fluent Spanish, but they really don’t know how to work the culture. Los Elderes never would come into the homes in the barrios and never spent time getting to know the people.

This is true! They are obvious with the white dress shirts, but have no "pitch." They are always 1-Gringo (ie. Caucassian) and 1-Nicaraguan. When approached by I, they don't "pitch" their product.

They serve 2-year tours.

Jehova Witnesses

They are professional! The Gringo (ie. English-speaking) church is on the ball. Their leader or president of the Nicaraguan franchise is managing the "franchise" extremely well.

The Jehova Witnesses have the best "map" in all of Managua. They have every single street mapped with every single English-speaker. They know the location of every Gringo in Managua! FACT.

How is this possible? All church locations requires their members to "pitch" on the street and enter homes, unlike the Elders. They collect the data and report back to sede central.

They spend 80 hours per week "in the field."

As I told the president of the Nicaraguan franchise, "if I could imitate your enthusiam for Jehova and energy for "sales," I wouldn't have to live in Nicaragua, but could move to the U.A.E. where a polvo is US $10,000."

You too will learn every Gringo that lives in Nicaragua! Why? The "Gringo Network" is your only "safety net" if the ATM card gets lost or stolen.

Nicaragua has always been a "battle ground" for bodies, minds, souls, and territory! Some of us are here "for Jesus," while others are hear for the action; while others are here for the cheap entry fee, but high maintenance and demesiada (ie. too much) mierda (ie. bullsh*t.) I wouldn't recommend Nicaragua as a country to relocate: The Quality of Life is much much better in the "Gringo Saturated" markets of Cd. Panama, Colombia, Costa Rica, Mexico, D.R., P.R., Brazil, and Argentina. Travel roads that have already been paved and withstood a few storms. In Nicaragua, there are no roads and bastante (ie. too much / many) storms (ie. political, social, romantic, work ethic, weather, legislation, crime, etcetera.)

The Alcaldia de Managua (ie. Alexis Arguello, three time world champion of boxing ) has a great map too!

[Noguera]

In defense of the Latter Day Saints, they are taught Spanish before being sent to infect the populace. In my experience they are normally fairly fluent. The rest of these clowns I don't know about.

I lived for two years in Nicaragua and used to post here quite frequently. However, for the past year I have worked in the Philippines and only have older experiences in Nicaragua.

The Latter Day Saints may arrive in Nicaragua speaking fluent Spanish, but they really don’t know how to work the culture. I used to spend 4+ days/nights per week in Villa Venezuela, which is one of the roughest barrios in Managua. I had fallen for a dancer from the old Valle Todo, Red Palace, and elsewhere. Many an afternoon while I was out front of my friends’ hut in the barrio, the Mormons (the locals referred to them as ‘Los Elderes’) would come down the street and pass out their stuff. However, Los Elderes never would come into the homes in the barrios and never spent time getting to know the people. They would just do what they had been trained to do back in Utah, but they never got involved in the lives of the locals. Hell, I had more impact on getting into the lives of the barrioistas than did Los Elederes …… and I was trying to fuck the daughters of the locals !!!

[DrDewman]

I am not ready for "Hall of Fame" status". Need much more in-country time and experience. DrDewMan has earned the status. Thanks to "Meat Loaf" and other senior members for all the help graciously given without financial reward.

You too will like the pussy.

Xdred

Very true, Meat Loaf has shown the way to many of us older and inexperienced travelers in the land of Nica's. I remember my first trip to Managua, alone I might add and the only place I went to was Club Fenix. Of course the girl came back to the hotel that night and well the rest is history.

Unlike Darien, it took me a couple of trips to hit Gloria's, Caribean Morena, then now closed Claudia's and quite a while to find Good Time.

My hat is off to Meat Loaf and all the members who contribute to the forum with information on great spots to visit. I would have never known of Club Lady if Meat Loaf had not taken me personally to the unmarked casa.
I have never been disappointed with the selection there or the experiences.

After 4 years of Costa Rica and with the best experiences coming from Nicaragian women, I just figures it was trip to hit the mother land. I have not been disappointed at all.

So read the old post, ask questions and plan to have a great time.
drdewman

[Dickhead]

In defense of the Latter Day Saints, they are taught Spanish before being sent to infect the populace. In my experience they are normally fairly fluent. The rest of these clowns I don't know about.

[Meat Loaf]

Most of Central America is Catholic so these groups are not really going there to spread Christianity so much as to win converts for their particular denomination.

Yes! You are 100% correct and that is what they are "doing battle" over!

There is heavy competition for bodies by (1) Evangelical, (2) Jehova Witness, and (3) Ladder Day Saints. The city of 2.5 million, which represents 45% of the country's population is "littered" with the above institutions!

Their revenues are weak!

They continue to gain foreign deposits by sede central (ie. "non-profit corporate headquarters.) One of the best, if not the best, corporation to own is a "church."

[World Jockey]

Good lord you got the low down.

Level with us.

How long have you been lurking dude?

LOL nice post.

DrDewman and others members:

Could you let me know where is Club Lady is located and any feedback about the club?

Also, do you know Club Venus, Help, Cueto? What type of girls they have (rating 1 to 10) and information about those clubs? They are listed on phonebook under Clubs.

Any model type gilrs in Managua?

I am here only for the next 3 or 4 days. Response appreciated.

thanks / Darien

[Chocha Monger]

Fact: At least 50% of the Gringos that reside in Nicaragua are "Holy Rollers!" These "Bible Thumpers" are in Nicaragua in droves!

Reality: An estimated 80% of the Gringos that reside in Nicaragua are Christian Missionaries!

One day, while sitting at Miami International Airport I noticed large numbers of plump pale missionaries with rosy cheeks and double chins. They congregated around the boarding gates for flights destined to various Central American countries. Their red slogan t-shirts recreated the scene of salmon gathering beneath a fish ladder in preparation for a spawning run. I made a mental note to stay ahead of the red shirts once the flight disembarked at its destination. These holy rollers travel heavy and have a habit of declaring their goods at customs en masse. If one gets caught behind them it could be quite some time before you get through customs and immigration.

The young girls were some big heifers and grazed on potato chips, candy and various snacks as they waited. My suspicion grew that their true intentions may to devour the little brown Central American women and children. From their complexions it was easy to tell that they rarely ever went outdoors. They appeared to be the poster children for gluttony rather than temperance; greed rather than charity; and sloth rather than diligence.

Most of Central America is Catholic so these groups are not really going there to spread Christianity so much as to win converts for their particular denomination. True. They may distribute some food and give some basic medical aid but not without strings attached. The local beneficiaries will have to attend the religious indoctrinations carried out by the missionaries. At least sex tourists don’t feign virtue when making “charitable” donations to the local females. The natives know that they must indulge the sex tourist’s or sexpat’s unbridled lust without any particularly redeeming benefit beyond hard cold cash.

From the overheard conversations among some of the male missionaries it appeared that some of the locals may have been taught to worship in the missionary position. Apparently, some of these gents were as dedicated to spreading to the wood as they were the word.

There are lots of brown people here in the US who can use charitable donations. Yet, the missionaries prefer to go to exotic locations where they don’t speak the language to “save” people. They need to save these people from the stuff that Hollywood exports. The US film industry exports lots of sin with generous helpings of sex, violence and greed. Sometimes they even send sex tourists to try out new sexual positions and the like on the local populace.

The missionaries tell the natives that they must not succumb to all the excess and debauchery seen on US television and film. They also remind them that poverty is a virtue. They must pray so that when they die they will end up in the USA. Of course, some of these poor souls decide that they can’t wait to get to heaven. They sell the family pig and put up their scrap of land so that they can pay a coyote to sneak them into heaven. When they get there the missionaries are only too happy to put them to work on the farm. You see, many of these missionaries are farmers. They believe that hard work, low wages and crusades are the way to salvation.

[World Jockey]

Hey Meat Loaf, you just never know. This one is very special!1 I know they all are. My son married a Costa Rican girl and that has worked out very well.

I do not have a lot of faith in getting the Visa, but I will see when I return in May as far as how that all works out.

Glad to be back on here, the computer has been repaired and I am sure I have plenty of stories to read up on.

Darien, I did send you a PM, hope I am not to late for the information you needed or requested. As is with most of the places in Managua the girls can change weekly, I have never been impressed with Cueto Club, they charge admission for us Gringo's and have higher drink prices bigger girls.

Just walk over the curb to Good Time most of those dancers are 8 to 10's and are just beautiful and will do out calls as well. Good Time is also open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week so there should always be something going on there.
drdewman

Glad to see you back in action.

Agreed.

Cueto is not really worth going into.

The prices are high and the women are just as big as the door charge.

[Meat Loaf]

I am not ready for "Hall of Fame" status". Need much more in-country time and experience. DrDewMan has earned the status. Thanks to "Meat Loaf" and other senior members for all the help graciously given without financial reward.

You too will like the pussy.

Xdred

You are 100% correct in that you (ie. XDred) need a lot more in-country experience to even gain a nomination by committee into the "Managua Mongering Hall of Fame."

Long distance phone calls and Western Union transfers do not count!

(Xdred aint no "bobo" (ie. fool) working on the plantation (ie. USA) and sending Western Union "mantener / regalos" to Nicaragua. Annual USA-Nicaragua remittance of US $300 Million. I, "Me," taught him well!)

Lurkers: Let XDred's humility guide you into what is required to succeed in Nicaragua.

[Xdred]

xdred, usa gringo (ie. your peer,) who resides in nicaragua for 3-month minimums is executing what is required (ie. useful information) to gain nomination into the "managua mongering hall of fame."

with only two (2) international sex guide senior members (ie. grand pollo, drdewman) holding "managua mongering hall of fame" status validates that such acknowledgment is not easy!

for i, "me loaf" / "meat loaf" / "down deep" do not hold such status as an inductee into the "managua mongering hall of fame."

when will my day come? let's ask "nica bound."

i am not ready for "hall of fame" status". need much more in-country time and experience. drdewman has earned the status. thanks to "meat loaf" and other senior members for all the help graciously given without financial reward.

you too will like the pussy.

xdred