General Info

[Meat Loaf]

I will immediately purchase TWO flashlights for use inside the brothels in case of power grid failure. Will be in country Sun.8th.

I hear you, but this is a real problem: Not having electricity is a real problem and you never know when it's going to bo out. Since I work here it affects my job performance BIG TIME!

This is not a temporary thing either 'cause this has occurred for at least two (2) years and everyone says this has been the case for as long as they have been alive. The only solution is for you, the company or individual, to purchase a industrial power plant (generator) which can cost US $10, 000. Anything less just won't cut it.

I won't even talk about the gasoline shortage in Nicaragua and the long gas lines.

[Xdred]

I will immediately purchase TWO flashlights for use inside the brothels in case of power grid failure. Will be in country Sun.8th.

[Meat Loaf]

If you expect electricity then you should expect not having any at anytime! When it rains, the power goes out. When it's sunny, the power goes out. When you need electricity, Union Fenosa, the Spainsh power company, gives you some political excuse. Many residents may have power outages that last up to 8 hours per day. While others may be without power for days. Anything is possible when electricity is concerned.

Advise: Buy some candles.

Can you ever get use to not having electricity? It feels worse waiting in hope of electricity than not having it. Did I mention that the rainy season lasts 6 months? This means you'll have crazy electricity service for half a year. I'm lucky that currently we have power so I can write this post.

Choose a more progressive country 'cause this aint it. And it aint worth the trouble.

[Meat Loaf]

If you're accustomed to the USA montra "To Protect and Serve, " Nicaragua will be a culture shock. If you come to Nicaragua, grab your nutts and be prepared to protect your possessions without the idea of police involvement. Or the criminals fearing the police.

Primero (first, ) law enforcement in Nicaragua does not exist! That's to say they exist to write traffic tickets in search of city revenue or personal supplementary income (bribes, ) but not in the crime prevention or response arena. Dialing the local police emergency number of "118" will be answered in time and more time will be spent waiting for the police to respond to the situation. Hours will be spent waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

Segundo, (second, ) Nicaragua is not a Gringo-friendly society! Centuries and recent decades of USA interference within the territory have created an anti-USA sentiment. Hugo Chavez's rejuvinated Bolivarian Revolution is further promoting the independance of America Latin from America British. This is disclosed because it will be relevant when interacting with the police.

You may face this (1) anti-Gringo sentiment (f*ck you, ) (2) the "things are done different here than your country sentiment, " or (3) you may be met with professionalism. Anything is possible.

Your best preparation for Nicaragua is to relocate into a USA-ethnic (Black or Hispanic) ghetto; to assimilate; and to behave as they do with theatrics, violence; embrace anti-establishment truths and differences; and the realities of being a member of the under-class. Get Grimey! With such an education you will immediately notice the difference of law enforcement or legal persecution upon your arrival to Nicaragua since the police don't exist.

In short, don't expect much assistance from the law enforcement community and learn to exist without the police being there for you or on your side. This will truly create an entirely different life experience for the average ISG reader of North American descent. The reality of life existence being a member of the under-class or minority will be the first and most uncomfortable experience in life for the averge North American and cause many social and mental pain.

I do not write this text from a one-dimensional perspective, but from three or more: Nicaragua is a powder keg ready to explode and at anytime you must be ready to explode with it for survival! Nicaragua is not a country with security nor is it a country for seasoned citizens looking for predictability. Don't expect anything predictable except the unpredictable!

[Meat Loaf]

meat loaf continues to deliver true, real life stories that he witnesses, experiences, or is associated with. for those fellow-gringos that are or may consider nicaragua as a relocation country or tourist destination, here is another story that affected my north american friend.

as gringos we stand out in the crowd! as gringos we are perceived to be rich well beyond our dreams! as gringos it is just a matter of time before you will be taxed through theft, extortion, jurisprudence, or other forms of money transfer with you being the source of origination.

remember, nicaragua is the country where during the 70's and 80's the citizenry (sandanista) over-threw the 40-year old usa-backed and supported dictatorship of the zamoza family. this was the iran-contra affair. this was the war where oliver north and his military fought the citizenry in defense of the usa-backed zamoza dictatorship. this was the war that was usa financed (documented evidence before the usa congress) with crack cocaine sales and illegal arms transactions. this was the war where many families were terrorized, destroyed, and had their youth kidnapped to fight in defense of the citizenry. bad feelings still exist among the populace against the north american. and this is also why the gringo may be in danger at anytime! furthermore, hugo chavez's rejuvinated bolivarian movement (separation from north american interferance for all latin american countries) further solidifies the anti-gringo mentality.

it is this mentality that makes the gringo a larger target than imaginable: you never know who is anti-gringo until their assistance is needed in the preservation of your possessions and person. (3, 000 claims exist before the hague court for north american possessions that were confirep001ed by the government. posseessions like real estate, corporations, bank assets, and other real monitors of wealth.) nicaragua is a country prepared and willing to fight against usa influence throughout the latin american region and your gringo presence in latin america raises questions as to your motive for being here.

with a skin-tone as white as "casper the friendly ghost" he stood out among the crowd as soon as he boarded the plane for managua! his extremely challenged spanish didn't help the situation either. so when he moved into his rented residence everyone noticed him and began observing his habits.

time passed-by and he soon became comfortable in his new country and upper-middle class neighborhood. time passed-by and the criminals became more confident in his routine as well. then, one-year later they struck pay-dirt!

having scope out the target and his possessions discretely from the sidewalk they knew it would be a big score. giving them this impression was the fact that he was a one-year transplanted gringo and the myth that gringos always have the most money and best possessions known to the world.

sr. (mr.) gringo returned home after an late-night of socializing with the upper-crust of society to find his iron burglar bar gate pryed open and front wooden door kicked-in. within the home he learned from the stolen items that the thieves (ladrones) operated with precision and thought. for they stole electronic items, banking information, hygenic items, and other assets of international value and quick disposal.

never having seen as much food of various varieties within a home the thieves prepared a meal and stole some food as well. true, they used the microwave to warm-up two (2) tv dinners and dranks some tona beer in the process.

police response: what response! a police report was processed; fingerprints were not taken; photos were not taken; but the case "remains open" as if the criminals will voluntarily confess.

crime prevention: security systems encompass you or your agent sitting in-front of your home with a shot gun, ak-47, or machete! adt, brinks, and other home security systems are available, but brandishing firepower is a lot cooler than hearing "1-800-adt-security, what seems to be the problem? "

everyone is always alert for the ladron. gringos should be even more vigilant in their surroundings, associates, and their gringo presence. as documented with earlier posts, confronting ladrons is a daily endeavor and a daily reality to ensure nobody takes your sh*t. criminals nor citizens even consider police protection 'cause they don't exist / respond in any significant form when compared to the north american style.

when it's your turn to pay the piper will you (1) pay, (2) run for cover, or (3) flee the scene? it's just a matter of time that this question and these solutions will need to be addressed. welcome to nicaragua.

editor's note: i would suggest that the author or another forum member consider posting a link to this report in the reports of distinction thread. please click here for more information.

[Meat Loaf]

always. always. always they ask for money! the gringo never gets a break, reprieve, or any exchange of value for them always asking for money. why? it aint my problem, but the common story is, "my child is sick. " if that is indeed the case, a sick child, they have the worse health of any race or nationality.

strangers will knock upon your door asking for money. assosciates will knock upon your door, corner you in the store, or blatantly follow you to the bar, under the impression that they have money, and then ask you to treat them to beers, plural, and some prostitutes. i know a young drunk lad whose family owns a ten unit apartment complex earning over us $4, 000 (c $80, 000) in gross revenue monthly and will ask you for beers. the common term is "arreglarme" (give me a gift.)

it gets old real quick, real quick. if you spend anytime longer than a brief vacation you will get bombarded with the above arreglarme. and when you say no they get mad, call you pince (cheap, ) and sit in disgust.

for a citizenry that is broke as hell, they sure do go to the doctor frequently. these "sick-ass" children have better health care and more pampering than ted kennedy and the [CodeWord132] company itself. we gringos know how expensive health care is and how serious our health condition must be for a doctor visit to be made. these nicaraguans are always sick and always need money for their illness. whether they actually go to the doctor after receiving the money is met with skepticism. the same holds for "tengo hambre" (i'm hungry.)

meat loaf is not a fan of children. meat loaf is especially not a fan of some other guys children. meat loaf could care less about a child being sick 'cause meat loaf knows its a rouse. and if a child really were i'll then they need to draw upon the country's resources and not meat loaf's foreign capital. the last sentence is the most accurate depiction of my humanity.

money, money, money is always being asked of you. it gets old real quick and will make you leave the country just as fast.

imagine yourself at any usa intersection being propositioned by panhandlers. now imagine never being able to leave that intersection. that is your situation and existence in nicaragua.

they may try and soften the money request by calling it a loan. loan? how and with what money are you going to repay me? conclusion, it's a gift never to be seen again. the same truth is upheld here as north america: those that ask for money usually can't manage it and those that don't need the money are the sought after clients of loan companies.

despite paying nicaraguans generous salaries they will still ask for a loan under the above rouses. so why pay generous? don't.

they will raid your groceries; they will ask for anything they see; they will always have the objective of getting something from you for free. this is not a rant, but a cultural observation of two (2) years verified by others and my personal experience.

in summary, they will always ask you for money. don't give them anything because if you do that will begin the habit of them asking you all the time! if you're socializing, ask if they have money, view the money, and collect an appropriate amount in advance so you can ensure they / you will pay the bill. guys are just as big of leaches (mispelled) as girls and neither have any shame (verguenza) in asking. you will be hard-pressed to find someone with the character of paying for their own expenses; not asking you for money; and being of the north american mindset where having money is a trait of pride.

suggestion: choose a more progressive society and enjoy a better quality of life because thisbullsh*t is tiring! in fact, it's the reason i moved last year.

editor's note: i would suggest that the author or another forum member consider posting a link to this report in the reports of distinction thread. please click here for more information.

[Xdred]

After reading the reports from the many generous contributors, thanks "Meat Loaf" a one week holiday has been granted and "Chica Nica" experimentation begins in MGA 8th June.

My goal thru due diligence and systematic approach is to work deep into the psychic of the Nica exploring the possibilities of a one week trip from an experienced spanish speaking latin america monger perspective. Much has been written about limitations one may encounter when in-country time is so limited. A local cell phone will be provisioned within hours of landing and will serve as the primary tool, gathering as many Chica numbers as possible in the first days. This strategy has proven successful for me in both short and extended working stays in the region. The goal is to gain confidence and make arrangements with the Nicas to meet for home delivery not necessarily TLNs. I enjoy three hour type encounters with girl next door types and never pick the tens or younger chicas, unless of course I just can’t help myself. My tastes generally range in age from 28 to 40. Can this be accomplished in MGA when staying only for a week? I will report successes, failures, disappointments and challenges of this strategy. What is my favorite chica preference? Well the colombiana of course. I have hunted and banged this lovely breed in many areas of the caribbean and their homeland eating in their company, living with them, getting scammed by them but most of all fucking them constantly. Why not just go to Colombia instead of MGA? At this moment in time the current exchange rates are not favorable to my liking and this trip is on my nickel. Many times I have seen guys spend lots of money YES this has happened to me while others that really didn’t have lot’s to throw around had more of what I would consider a real experience. While kindness, lots of honey and respect will be practiced, my belief is paying more than expected or gringo prices greatly diminishes the overall experience and creates greed. Bottom line if the girl half ass likes you and the opportunity is properly presented to earn while escaping her every day boring existence the time spent at least for me can be rewarding.

Like some others on this forum my work requires extended stays in the CALA region (Caribbean and Latin America) ten months travel per year. Many enjoying the comforts of family and weekends off, reading from living rooms in the north (thanks Meat Loaf) view international work as glamours. Well the reality my friends is quite different. Yes we do have fun however it is very lonely down here even with the many friends acquired thru work relationships and social networking. Constant pressure and invitations from clients and co- workers for drinking, parties dinner etc. The people you work with are the primary inhibitors and most if not all do not monger. Even if they did you would not share with these folks because people do talk and the risk to lost credibility is too great. Maintaining this balance combined with a double work load compared to domestic work leads one to occasional fucked up thinking and behavior. Having enough money to do as you wish at least with me only fuels the fire and makes things worse. Accomplishing simple tasks in these shit holes takes five times as long and no one understands or cares. You are expected to carry a magic wand. Bosses from the states have told me "just put some ZEN on it". The only thing that makes all of this worthwhile is the pussy and PUSSY is a constant daily battle down here.

[Meat Loaf]

The only thing worse than an idiot is an idiot brandishing a machete!

So I'm sitting on my front porch talking to my buddies on a Saturday night as I await some servicio dormicilio (home delivery.) Out of nowhere some yelling and screaming takes places. Within my sights are a woman and child being acosted (mispelled) by some idiot brandishing a machete. Immediately I assume this is a domestic situation gone astray.

In the middle of the street this fool bangs his machete on the street creating sparks. He then swings the machete in every direction, but approximately 10 feet away from the woman and child. Looking for attention to begins to chop trees that are at least 100 years of age. Attacking the trees with a furor he reigns his sights upon any bystander. The neighborhood shouts out "Machetazo! "

Hearing "Machetazo" echo throughout the block residents take cover. Neighbors grab their machetes in case the "Machetazo" comes their direction. I too grab my machete with wrist strap. Children and mothers grab witness to the block preparing for a chopping. Fortunately the "Machetazo" transferred onto the neighboring block and my block returned to normalcy.

In Nicaragua you never know when something is "gonna' pop off" so one must be prepared at all times for the worse- violence. With little to zero (0%) law enforcement everyone is forced to police (protect) themselves and property.

For retirees, I would not recommend this country due to the volatility and lack of law enforcement. Instead I would recommend a country with "civilized" Western standards: Costa Rica, Panama, the West Indies, and even Mexico are safe and secure places to retire.

EDITOR'S NOTE: I would suggest that the author or another Forum Member consider posting a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please Click Here for more information.

[Meat Loaf]

I married a Tica in Costa Rica and when I caught her running around with a Tico I kicked her out. She refused to give me a divorce without a legal fight.

My lawyer said she was entitled to alimony even though we had no offsprings so before she had a chance to file and block me from leaving the country I moved to Panama and after I got there I called her and told her I was living in Nicaragua to throw her off track.

But now I'd like to visit Nicaragua but don't want to get nabbed for back alimony. That's why I was wondering about the computer checks on passports.

Are you a US Citizen? If yes, let's focus upon your USA assets.

Marriage licenses overseas must be submitted to the USA government so they can recognize it. Don't submit although she can. If she does, don't respond.

Furthermore, don't initiate or co-sign any form of USA citizenship for her. It's a ten (10) year process, but they don't care what age they reach the USA as long as they do. And they all want to.

Alimony. Have you tried to enforce a contract in international courts? How about an alimony contract from income derived in the USA and payed in Costa Rica? How about her filing this alimony claim in the USA court system? How is she gonna' appear in USA court on the assigned court date? How is she gonna' pay the court and attorney fees? Only child support is free and that's for the woman!

Alimony in Costa Rica or any other country: If you derive income in that country and that income is in your name. Solution: Earn income under a corporation, foreign corporation, and draw dividends.

Alimony? You can allow yourself to get played by some banana court looking to dump their females off upon a "rich" gringo via alimony. You know that alimony will support her entire 10 person family, right. Banana Court? Por favor!

Hopefully, you learned your lesson: Why buy the cow if the milk is free? And no offense, I've never seen your wife. (Just joking, but it was an easy "rip. ")

P.S. You passport is always getting scanned, but an international fugitive warrant has to get issued for you to get detained and extradited to the USA. A fugitive warrant is federal and has to be petitioned for by the state of your residence for which she is filing for divoce and alimony. You're only liable for USA garnishments and liabilities if the USA courts recognize the marriage. If you have not petitioned the USA courts to recognize the Costa Rican marriage this is a moot conversation.

Furthermore, once your state sets a court date and you do not appear (she must appear too) then you will be in contempt for failure-to-appear. The case may or may not continue depending upon your state. Fact: If you never get served the notice of USA divorce and a court date you are not liable for the above to which I write 'cause you were never notified.

International summons for court are not delivered in a nonsense case like this.

At last, depending upon your USA assets will determine if a USA and Costa Rican attorney take the case pro-bono in search of "ripping you a new a**hole. " If you don't have a real net worth (assets plus equity minus liabilities) there is nothing to raid!

Meat Loaf

(Asset Management Specialist)

EDITOR'S NOTE: I would suggest that the author or another Forum Member consider posting a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please Click Here for more information.

[Wondernow]

I married a Tica in Costa Rica and when I caught her running around with a Tico I kicked her out. She refused to give me a divorce without a legal fight.

My lawyer said she was entitled to alimony even though we had no offsprings so before she had a chance to file and block me from leaving the country I moved to Panama and after I got there I called her and told her I was living in Nicaragua to throw her off track.

But now I'd like to visit Nicaragua but don't want to get nabbed for back alimony.
That's why I was wondering about the computer checks on passports.

[Meat Loaf]

Althought USA passports carry the perception of wealth this is no longer a free pass! In the good 'ol days of second passports for a fee, Nicaragua was a major capital. Not anymore. September 11, 2001 changed the game!

USA passports are always entered into the computer at all ports-of-entry! The paper trail for which USA citizens live under is in full-effect beyond the shoreline.

The threat of USA financial support and commerce reigns the world and your single passport stamp is no exception.

Get ready to have your luggage examined; the proposition of a bribe; and other auxillary realities for holding a USA passport both from government officials and citizens.

Make life easy and obtain your Brazilian passport (second citizenship) from Brazil after one year of marriage or fathering / mothering a child!

[Capeed]

Yes, They run your passport through the computer both ways.

[Wondernow]

Do they run your passport through any kind of computer check when you arrive or depart Managua airport?

[Meat Loaf]

Oh my God! I've witnessed more thieves, ass whoopings, and overall delinquency in the past two months than I've witnessed my entire life! And I've lived in some "hell-holes" both onshore and offshore USA.

I never truly understood the whole concept of living behind caged windows, doors, 12-foot concrete walls, or other "security" measures in Latin America, but now I'm learning. The concept of having everything bolted-down or hidden from the eye is a mentality the becomes the norm and if the norm is not perpetuated, then it becomes a vulnerability.

I'm literally tired of witnessing thievery, especially petty crime. Albeit, what may be petty for you and I may be true survival for others. Assumptively, this is where the "Gringo envy" or "Gringo tax" enters the picture: Gringos would much rather prefer ease-of-experience and convience over "petty" bickering and haggling. " (Forgive any mispelled words.) So, when I see ladrons attempting to steal small priced items valued at US $1. 30 to US $4, I have a hard time comprehending this M. O.

As this "new way of life" continues, I guess I'll become more normalized to Latin American society and customs embracing both the nonsense and benefits of such an existence.

With little to zero (0%) law enforcement both in response time and incarceration efforts it appears the threat of criminal justice is nonexistent! Therefore, street justice and enforcement prevail. And the citizenry that enforces such wrongs too ignore the criminal justice system for they know the Nicaraguan norm.

For those who rely upon law enforcement for disputes, protection, and service, your time in Nicaragua will be a real culture shock. For others, it will represent an society where the individual, family, and community govern themselves. (Texas gun laws; Alaska employment; Florida commercial activites; and ex-pat residency are similar examples of self-independence.) Of course, respect for others and their property for goes a long way.

[N Stone]

the american eric volz has been released from prison. he was sentenced to 30 years for a [CodeWord123] and murder. politics and money aided his release.

warning: tread lightly in nicaragua if you're a gringo 'cause the citizenry is upset that a gringo killed a chica nica; got let out of prison after 1 year; and returned back to the usa. the citizenry want revenge, especially in the state of rivas and the town of san luis sur.

san luis sur is the tourist attraction of nicaraguan real estate and the residents don't care about the money available from tourism or real estate sells. the citizens want gringo blood and nothing else.

so gringos should stay out of jail; avoid the police if possible; avoid politics; and watch those whom you associate.

it's as plain as day that he didn't do it. he had tons of witnesses, both nica and american who would have testified that he couldn't have been at the scene of the crime during the time window when it happened. basically the female judge was pressured by the angry (stupid) mob to sentence him even thought the evidence clearly said otherwise. i'm glad to hear that he's free, but gringos definitely beware for a while. the natives may be restless.