Food in Tijuana

[Gregyyr]

She came back after emptying her stomach of Don Julio and her homework was back at the apartment that she was supposed to be turned in Monday morning, but now she isn't able to since we are not close by. Eventually we pack our stuff and check out. I take her back to the apartment and she bids me farewell. The spark and fire is gone and the GFE non existent, but what can I expect when I admit to her I'm a ho. So not sure where things are headed, but we are going to Paris for New Years and I used my miles to book us business class seats from Mexico City. Hopefully the fire comes back as she was at the top of my regular rotation. Either way, I am not worried about how things turn out as she seems to capture my soul more than the others. For some reason she put a spell on me.

Kudo's for being totally honest with her. I know her reaction isn't what you dreamed of or wanted. But all the signals are showing and it's exactly what you need to say. At best I would have her as a "special friend" that you go on trips with. Help her out a bit as you help out your other friend but let her know you don't go on trips with the other girls because you love spending time with her. Also. For me, a girl that I really enjoyed. We could just hang out in a motel 6 and eat street taco's. Talk. Laugh, fuck etc. The lifestyle you live is what she may want but to actually be a girlfriend. If you didn't live that lifestyle would she still care and spend time with you? I am considering going to Philippines once I retire as 60 year old guys can go out with 35 year old Filipino's and their society doesn't even care about age gaps.

Don't feel bad for killing the weekend with the honesty. Be thankful she was honest to show you how ticked off she was and what your future life will look like if you continue with the same relationship expectation with her.

I have many female friends that I just take vacations with. (there is no sex) but it's great as they are great to share time with just as friends. I even take an evening or two during our trips for some mongering. It works out great!

This girl needs to let go of the "relationship" part as I just think that is a crazy road to try to manage. But an semi-open relationship, that's something that could maybe work?

My .02 worth from the peanut gallery.

G.

[Big Magick]

Thanks for the advice everyone but I can't see myself losing years of my life to mongering like I did other addictions. The fact that we have the money to party and sleep with some of the most beautiful women in the world is nothing short of amazing. Some people don't even have food to eat, really puts things in perspective. The experiences I've had in the zona have made me a genuinely happy person. I never got that phase most young men go through where you sleep around. The zona has made up for it, I no longer live with constant sexual frustration LOL. I've had some bros give me great rational advice about dating bar girls. Some more cynical than others. We say don't trust these women because they are basically all gold diggers but have you seen the women in America lately? They are all the same if not worse. Sure you can always find genuine caring women in any country but lets be real, those kind of girls are hard to find and usually aren't the prettiest girls. Women are hard wired to find the best men. Its either our looks, money, or charisma that attracts them. We say the bar girl relationships aren't real but what makes a genuine relationship? This is the real world and money is part of what attracts women. Sure it shouldn't be the only reason and that's something to look out for but some of the sweetest most genuine girls I've met in my life have been in Mexico. I've had some deep conversations with bar girls about the struggles of life, something I never really gotten out of American women. Sounds funny but the connections I've made with some of the girls have been my most meaningful. Its why I eventually plan to move to Mexico and date there. Living day to day in the moment is something I admire about Mexican culture.

So no this isn't depressing, quite the opposite actually.

[Sol12]

I could cancel the trip a month out, but she still says she wants to go and only thing out of my pocket is flight, meals, and hotel. She isn't asking for daily allowance. I will see how these two months go and if they aren't great, then just go on the trip and tell her it was nice knowing you. Originally was going to go on a shorter trip to Cancun with her, but the airline miles I have had low redemption rate for business class out of Mexico City to Paris. She is graduating from her engineering degree next year (hopefully). I think that she has champagne tastes on a beer budget. Just thought I'd fulfill a wish for someone that has been so generous with their time. She said it would probably take her a decade to plan a trip like the one we are going on over New Years.

The only hard thing about these next 2 months is that I assume she has or is going back home to finish school so your only contact with her will be thru txt and video calls. As you state before this is very easy way for them to say what you want to hea and not see their body language and such. So things could seem to be perfect and suddenly when you are together on this trip she isn't the same and now your stuck. You seem to have a positive attitude about it and will make the best of a bad situation if the trip doesn't go well I wish you the best.

In regards to the family photos it could be just a way to feel like she is serious. I'm not saying she isn't it's just very very similar to a situation I went thru last year with a girl who started sending me almost all her family pics and telling me her life story and wanted to get married after just a few hours together and most of the time I was drunk or passed out. She was always great at texting and what she wanted to do in bed yet when I would visit she would act differently. I always told her that actions speak louder than words. That's just my experience and so you're maybe different just something to think about. Not that you haven't thought about this enough already. Also the age difference reminds me of my situation. I know in the Latin culture it's more common but I'm always suspicious of it. I mean in reality when you have that much of an age difference and you don't speak the same language it's hard to really think that you have much in common.

I hope I'm proved to be wrong. I'm just giving my thoughts and views from experience.

[Member #4730]

KB,

This is not fair of me to say. Because, I don't have near enough information. I just caution you to be careful. I just want you to pause and ask yourself what your goals are. This is totally based on my uninformed assumptions. And I don't know you from the Captain. But I think you are getting close to a danger point. Unlike many others on this board, I 100% believe a relationship with a former BG is possible. Is it easy? Hell no. I'm not encouraging or discouraging that. But I went down a similar road. Multiple times now. LOL The one that ended poorly messed me up. Big time. And it was not easy to move past. The fault was with me because I never really stopped to think what I really wanted.

I understand everyone has their opinion and thanks for your input. At times I have to step back and rationalize what is really going through their head. She seems genuine as she would send me photos of her and the family, her hometown, and also mentioned I should visit her place. I wouldn't visit unless it was really serious and would be a bit odd as she is almost half my age. I'm sure her father would have different thoughts of the situation and he seems like a big dude. Her cousin and aunt were pretty friendly. They just said to keep her safe. I was invited to a night out with her friends, but I am tied up on the weekends and also not sure about hanging out with her friends that are almost half my age. Maybe she just wants to get a good read on what her friends think about me. All I know is whatever she was thinking I probably crushed it and kicked it down the road. She is still cool to hang out with, but not the same as the trip to Rosarito. I told her the first day was heaven and the second day was hell when I mentioned I went with another chica to the restaurant I took her to. Either way, I live in a first world country with plenty of opportunities and we are in the top 10% of the world earners. When she tells me the cost of living in Mexico, I think man I'd be retired long time ago.

[Member #4730]

Well very interesting. Seems like she likes the drama. To get mad and not talk to you for so long but still want to spend time with you is odd. Also the no sex without a condom thing also seems to be a way out for her. I doubt you can get your money back but the way things seem to be I don't understand why you would want to spend time with her in Paris since she seems to get upset quickly and my guess is she will do this in Paris and make it a very long trip. I usually try to give all the girls the benefit of doubt but this last episode makes me understand her better. I hope I'm wrong and all goes great and she is cool but many red flags for me.

I didn't realize this was the girl you had talked about going to Paris with and had thought from a previous post you had changed your mind. Hopefully she's just not using you for a free trip. These next 2 months shall be interesting.

Good luck.

I could cancel the trip a month out, but she still says she wants to go and only thing out of my pocket is flight, meals, and hotel. She isn't asking for daily allowance. I will see how these two months go and if they aren't great, then just go on the trip and tell her it was nice knowing you. Originally was going to go on a shorter trip to Cancun with her, but the airline miles I have had low redemption rate for business class out of Mexico City to Paris. She is graduating from her engineering degree next year (hopefully). I think that she has champagne tastes on a beer budget. Just thought I'd fulfill a wish for someone that has been so generous with their time. She said it would probably take her a decade to plan a trip like the one we are going on over New Years.

[DramaFree11]

Bro, Mexican culture is one of living day to day. Most Mexicans don't make enough money to save anything after paying what is necessary to survive. Now the Putas they make money yes, sometimes a lot of it, but guess what, their family always hits them up for money too. The greatest pimp in a putas life is "la Madre" the mother LOL, unless they actually have a real life pimp, then it is even more fucked up. "Reasonably priced" that is not in the vocabulary in the zona, unless you negotiate it all yourself with the girl, the clubs don't care, they would love you to blow all your money with them, they could give a shit less about the customer, more will only take your place. Anyways Mexico does have some good food, i always love them tacos, now that is a good deal!!

So true. The part of the family and mother's is so true. The stories I hear from my girls in MTY blow my mind. Controlling, jealousy and sabotaging behavior, from the families is the norm especially the mothers, it is just F. Nuts. These girls start doing well and there parents screw it up for them. In America we deal with the Substance abuse issue, Mexico has other issues. It is just crazy, I still do not believe some of the stories these girls tell me about there families.

As far a GDL, great place, but for work it probably one of the last places I would go as a girl. Yes, the city is very cheap, but salaries are low and lots of competition. If they truly wanted to better themselves then MTY or Mexico City is the place to be, but most Mexican girls can not handle those cities just to fast pace for them.

I love Mexico, especially girls and the food. The mothers suck!

[Sol12]

True statement. The regular's aunt that introduced her to HK worked there a few decades ago, found a husband and stopped working. They recently got divorced and she is back to working to support herself in her 40's. She has a nice body and decent face, but would be hard to compete with younger bar girls.

I don't think any of us go to Tijuana to find a serious relationship with a bar girl. I think it mostly has to do where you spend most of your time and who you meet. Before people would spend a lot of time at church and meet someone there. Later more and more people would meet at college. Now people are spending more time online so they meet people that way. For those of us that would spend are time in a bar and not look for other opportunities you find yourself seeing the bar as normal and your not trying to save anyone you just want a relationship with that person and that includes them not working anymore. Now the hard part is if the relationship ends and the thought of them having to go back to that scene if that's what they want is very hard and sometimes you might do things to prevent that which doesn't really help since the relationship is already over but at least you don't have the guilt of throwing them back into that.

That's why I just advise not to let it get to that point and have fun but always make it clear that this is not a real relationship and if they have better opportunities with someone or something else they should do that as your not looking to get married or support them.

[Sol12]

I went to visit a regular with a list of questions for her to answer to see where things might be headed. I bought her an LG sound bar that was on sale since she loves to watch Netflix. Driving down, I wasn't sure what to expect, but it could result in future visits or just cutting ties. I get to her apartment and her cousin answers the door and says she is bathing and I could wait. He offers something to drink, but I kindly decline the offer. He asks my name and I tell him to which he says he has heard about me. I was kind of shocked as I didn't think she told anyone about the gringo she met at HK.

I ask if I could install the sound bar in her room and he said sure. Eventually she comes out of the shower and asks if I can wait outside the room and I sit and chat some more with the cousin about art, guns, alcohol, and other various topics. He seems to enjoy meeting new people. He said the family grew up in Culiacan, but moved to Tijuana and the weather suits him better over Sinaloa. She eventually opens the door and I go in and continue installing the sound bar to the tv and things felt awkward since I didn't want to make the situation more confusing than it already is. She points to a purple box and it is a watch she got me for my birthday and she says it wasn't expensive. It was something I'd never wear, but it's the thought that counts right?

She gets ready and we head out to the Hyatt hotel across from Chapultepec. We check in and I give her the list of questions in Spanish. She looks at the sheet and asks if it is a test and I said you don't have to answer them if you arent comfortable. I know if she declines to answer them, then she most likely has something to hide. I wanted to ask them in person so I can see body language along with interpreting her thoughts. It is easy to be deceptive through text messages if one wanted to be, but harder when your face to face with the person. She answers my questions and surprised she isn't seeing anyone else, but she says she doesn't have time in her life to have relationships with more than one person. I tell her that I could stop seeing the other regulars if she wanted and that I would like to still offer support to one of them. This request sent her through the roof. She had to walk across the room and was deep in thought sitting on the bed. She returned 10-15 minutes later to tell me she thought she was special and we had something. I said she told me I could see other people and she admitted it was her fault. The funny thing is that she called me on my BS as she said it was what I wanted and truthfully I did want to see the other women. She said if I really cared about her, then other women would not be in my thoughts. I high fived her in my mind as she was brave enough to call me out on my addiction...

Well very interesting. Seems like she likes the drama. To get mad and not talk to you for so long but still want to spend time with you is odd. Also the no sex without a condom thing also seems to be a way out for her. I doubt you can get your money back but the way things seem to be I don't understand why you would want to spend time with her in Paris since she seems to get upset quickly and my guess is she will do this in Paris and make it a very long trip. I usually try to give all the girls the benefit of doubt but this last episode makes me understand her better. I hope I'm wrong and all goes great and she is cool but many red flags for me.

I didn't realize this was the girl you had talked about going to Paris with and had thought from a previous post you had changed your mind. Hopefully she's just not using you for a free trip. These next 2 months shall be interesting.

Good luck.

[Member #4730]

The more familiar I get with what goes on behind the scenes at HK, the more depressing it seems to get. These girls do a ton of drugs, most likely to escape the harsh reality of having no other choice then being a working girl. The more I go, the emptier the sex makes me feel, now I've been doing more drugs to overcome those feelings of post sex sadness, not a good path. A professional psychologist / therapist would probably love to pick our brains. I'm addicted to sex drugs and gambling. Interestingly all things that raise dopamine. Seems like most mongers are addicted to "the chase". Sometimes I think having a regular relationship would be better but I know myself well enough that I would eventually want to hoe around again.

True statements. I think the bar girl and monger have post sex sadness, especially the ones we connect with in more ways than just a physical bond. Hope you can keep a grasp on your addictions. I don't drink as I like to be present when I'm around people, but at times it is fun to enhance the experience with someone you trust to take it to another level.

[Member #4730]

Bro, Mexican culture is one of living day to day. Most Mexicans don't make enough money to save anything after paying what is necessary to survive. Now the Putas they make money yes, sometimes a lot of it, but guess what, their family always hits them up for money too. The greatest pimp in a putas life is "la Madre" the mother LOL, unless they actually have a real life pimp, then it is even more fucked up. "Reasonably priced" that is not in the vocabulary in the zona, unless you negotiate it all yourself with the girl, the clubs don't care, they would love you to blow all your money with them, they could give a shit less about the customer, more will only take your place. Anyways Mexico does have some good food, i always love them tacos, now that is a good deal!!

True, the ones I see talk about their family and how they want to position them for better life. Twisted reality, but hope they can achieve their goals without selling their souls.

[Member #4730]

Thank you for your words, i am a long time vet of the zona and honestly there is no "pretty woman" ending. For us mongers it is an addiction that ends when we run out of money. For the ladies, they will keep selling their pussy until they are too old and ugly to be attractive at any price for a client. Some girls get of prostitution and never return, but sadly many of them always return when they need the money. The zona is a fucked up place. I have seen many sad things there, also some pretty funny things as well. I will say one thing dont try to "save" a puta, they will quit prostitution when they decide they are ready.

True statement. The regular's aunt that introduced her to HK worked there a few decades ago, found a husband and stopped working. They recently got divorced and she is back to working to support herself in her 40's. She has a nice body and decent face, but would be hard to compete with younger bar girls.

[Sol12]

I get anxious as I am somewhat cynical in regards to a "relationship" with a bar girl. She is my favorite of all the regulars and just pushes all the right buttons when we're together. Everything seems to click with each other and we both seem to know what the other is thinking. I met her cousin at the apartment and he spoke perfect English and asked my name and said he has heard about me. I felt kind of shitty as she has been telling her family about me as the "boyfriend" she met at the "club. " She was scared of him asking me how we met and I said he didn't ask and if he did, then I'd just say we met at the club.

I just returned from the overnight trip and will do a report where I passed out in El Jardin for a couple of hours and we finished a whole bottle of Don Julio 70. Interesting trip, but also good to get closure on a few concerns. It definitely won't be the same for quite a while and not sure where things are headed, but if all else fails, then plenty of variety in Mexico and the world.

Well that would ldmof been very uncomfortable if you were alone when talking to the cousin and getting questioned especially since he knew English. It's always nice to use the no entiendo response to things you don't feel comfortable talking about, of course google translate hasn't helped either. The good thing is that you are both on the same page when it comes to what to answer.

Well look forward to hearing about your adventure.

[Dcrist0527]

I get anxious as I am somewhat cynical in regards to a "relationship" with a bar girl. She is my favorite of all the regulars and just pushes all the right buttons when we're together. Everything seems to click with each other and we both seem to know what the other is thinking. I met her cousin at the apartment and he spoke perfect English and asked my name and said he has heard about me. I felt kind of shitty as she has been telling her family about me as the "boyfriend" she met at the "club. " She was scared of him asking me how we met and I said he didn't ask and if he did, then I'd just say we met at the club.

I just returned from the overnight trip and will do a report where I passed out in El Jardin for a couple of hours and we finished a whole bottle of Don Julio 70. Interesting trip, but also good to get closure on a few concerns. It definitely won't be the same for quite a while and not sure where things are headed, but if all else fails, then plenty of variety in Mexico and the world.

KB,

This is not fair of me to say. Because, I don't have near enough information. I just caution you to be careful. I just want you to pause and ask yourself what your goals are. This is totally based on my uninformed assumptions. And I don't know you from the Captain. But I think you are getting close to a danger point. Unlike many others on this board, I 100% believe a relationship with a former BG is possible. Is it easy? Hell no. I'm not encouraging or discouraging that. But I went down a similar road. Multiple times now. LOL The one that ended poorly messed me up. Big time. And it was not easy to move past. The fault was with me because I never really stopped to think what I really wanted.

[Member #4730]

I went to visit a regular with a list of questions for her to answer to see where things might be headed. I bought her an LG sound bar that was on sale since she loves to watch Netflix. Driving down, I wasn't sure what to expect, but it could result in future visits or just cutting ties. I get to her apartment and her cousin answers the door and says she is bathing and I could wait. He offers something to drink, but I kindly decline the offer. He asks my name and I tell him to which he says he has heard about me. I was kind of shocked as I didn't think she told anyone about the gringo she met at HK.

I ask if I could install the sound bar in her room and he said sure. Eventually she comes out of the shower and asks if I can wait outside the room and I sit and chat some more with the cousin about art, guns, alcohol, and other various topics. He seems to enjoy meeting new people. He said the family grew up in Culiacan, but moved to Tijuana and the weather suits him better over Sinaloa. She eventually opens the door and I go in and continue installing the sound bar to the tv and things felt awkward since I didn't want to make the situation more confusing than it already is. She points to a purple box and it is a watch she got me for my birthday and she says it wasn't expensive. It was something I'd never wear, but it's the thought that counts right?

She gets ready and we head out to the Hyatt hotel across from Chapultepec. We check in and I give her the list of questions in Spanish. She looks at the sheet and asks if it is a test and I said you don't have to answer them if you arent comfortable. I know if she declines to answer them, then she most likely has something to hide. I wanted to ask them in person so I can see body language along with interpreting her thoughts. It is easy to be deceptive through text messages if one wanted to be, but harder when your face to face with the person. She answers my questions and surprised she isn't seeing anyone else, but she says she doesn't have time in her life to have relationships with more than one person. I tell her that I could stop seeing the other regulars if she wanted and that I would like to still offer support to one of them. This request sent her through the roof. She had to walk across the room and was deep in thought sitting on the bed. She returned 10-15 minutes later to tell me she thought she was special and we had something. I said she told me I could see other people and she admitted it was her fault. The funny thing is that she called me on my BS as she said it was what I wanted and truthfully I did want to see the other women. She said if I really cared about her, then other women would not be in my thoughts. I high fived her in my mind as she was brave enough to call me out on my addiction.

She then asks if I use a condom with them and I said no and she says well that change things and I don't get bare fun anymore. I felt like I was put in the dog house and thought well that is the end of us. She says we should stop talking and get something to eat because the more we talk the more it seems things are going to sink the friendship. I suggest going to Chapultepec across the street and everything seemed to close around 8 pm on a Sunday, but we found El Jardin was open. It is a bar and restaurant. We sat on the couches next to the street and the waiter said we need to buy premium bottle in order to sit in the area. I said fuck it and get some premium bottle even though I don't drink. She got Don Julio 70 and I think the bottle was $130-$140. Don Julio 1942 was in the $350-$400 range, but hard to recall exact numbers. We got some tacos and aquachiles. The food and service was great and we went through half the bottle in the course of an hour. I was fucked up and said no more. Well I guess I passed out on the couch for a few hours and when I woke up, I saw her dancing with another Latina from another table. They were twerking and grinding on each other and I just couldn't get up and just put my hand over my face laughing at myself because all they need to make it epic is to start popping out their titties and making out. She continues to dance and twerk for me and the local Mexican dudes are giving me a thumbs up and I just wave back.

Eventually a large Latina came and sat next to me speaking English saying that girl really likes you and to stop sleeping with other women. I was taken aback as I usually like my business private, but everyone was wasted in the bar. They must have all been chatting away while I was out. We eventually decide to leave back to the hotel around midnight or 1 in the morning. The walk back to the hotel was funny as it felt like my legs were jello and she was tipsy as well. We got back to the room and tore off our clothes. She asked for the vibrating cock ring and asked if I had condoms to which I said no as I never bring condoms on my trips. She acts like I can't have fun, but eventually she let me and then I couldn't perform as with every thrust it felt like a sharp pain in my head due to the tequila and it was hard for me to keep breathing. We both pass out and then around 3 am I woke up with a dry mouth and hungry. I head downstairs to get some water and food. I get back to sleep and then in the morning she has to login to her class, but she said she is hung over and had to throw up in the toilet.

She came back after emptying her stomach of Don Julio and her homework was back at the apartment that she was supposed to be turned in Monday morning, but now she isn't able to since we are not close by. Eventually we pack our stuff and check out. I take her back to the apartment and she bids me farewell. The spark and fire is gone and the GFE non existent, but what can I expect when I admit to her I'm a ho. So not sure where things are headed, but we are going to Paris for New Years and I used my miles to book us business class seats from Mexico City. Hopefully the fire comes back as she was at the top of my regular rotation. Either way, I am not worried about how things turn out as she seems to capture my soul more than the others. For some reason she put a spell on me.

[Dcrist0527]

First paragraph, well said, ain't that the truth. We should just learn to accept the facts.

As for the2nd paragraph, maybe the zona is a fucked up place, but it does not have to be that way. There are places where the culture has accepted the fact that women can sell their pussy and men are ready and willing to buy. A few places I can think of are, Germany, Switzerland, Thailand, Dubai, and maybe others. The German FKK model is probably the best, safe and reasonably priced. Why can't the zona copy that, probably unlikely due the culture in Mexico.

Damn, guys. I get on the plane in a few days for my next trip and you all are depressing the hell out of me! LOL.

I agree on all that has been said. I've come to grips that I have some level of addiction. However, it is not the sex. As BigMagik said, it is the chase. The sad part is that this chase is a false game. I know that, in real life, I have no shot in these "chases". It's not a fair game. Haha But even knowing this, I get a high from 'winning' the game. And I've come to realize the win isn't the sex. The win for me is a relationship. I'm not talking about a girlfriend or wife. I'm talking about a friendship, with or without benefits, outside the club. That sounds horribly pathetic. I'm not actually this loner sitting at home without friends. But I have friends in Mx that I do things with that I wouldn't do in the US. It is absolutely a second life. Is it good? Is it bad? I think it's bad simply because I don't think I could stop. But, the truth is I don't want to stop.

There is so much wrong with the zona. But, through all of that despair and disaster, I have memories and experiences that I'll always cherish. I have 4-5 chicas that I value very much as friends.

Last thing I would say. I think this guilt that we feel is a good thing. If I went to the zona and didn't realize the many awful things, I'd consider my soul dead.