Tips and techniques for sexually arousing women and making them orgasm

[Syzygies]

Having the lady's legs so close together with your cock inside her makes her pussy so tight around your cock that you end up moving her pussy around, when you try to pound. Instead of sliding in and out of her, you end up pushing and pulling on her pussy. Which is what makes it so pleasant for her. And to make it even more pleasant for the lady, you should push the shaft of your cock against the upper part of her pussy. Because that's where her clitoris is.

I have used this position at times since I can remember, if the lady showed a preference for it. I never had a special name for it.

Sliding is still going just fine, but a bit more friction than normal. I guess that means we are well lubed. Never just pushing and pulling for me.

I only ever met one girl who tried to stop me using lube (I possibly forget some others), and that was because it weakened her grip on the cock. She was known as the "squeeze box" and for good reason. Her pussy muscles were highly developed and had a vice like grip (exaggerating slightly). She came from Romania so some readers who monger in Frankfurt will know who she is, retired now. She particularly liked to exercise her grip in cowgirl position, but really any position would do. The real grip like this is far stronger than that afforded by the "alignment" position as you call it. Maybe the legs together position, when I have used it, has been with girls no trying so hard to use the legs to crush my cock, more to get a pleasant friction / vibration from the in and out movement.

I more commonly use this legs straddling position with the lady in prone, and me straddling her legs from behind "cowboy" style, or sometimes me lying gently on her. Many girls like this position. Some can orgasm, and others will starting fingering their clit as well to help. I have found that moderate down pressure with fist or a few knuckles on top of the dick at the junction where dick is going into the pussy, increases the downward dick pressure, because most girls are not having the strong natural grip, and the hand also tickles her anal area a bit. The extra hand pressure causes some girls to cum much quicker. It presupposes that your dick is long enough to get a fist in there without the dick falling out. LOL.

I use lots of different positions in fucking, so never worried about having names for each one. You just try lots of things and see what turns the girl on, and works for yourself.

[Dan7373]

A lady once said, "The most frustrating sexual encounter I ever had was with a guy who did not react at all to anything I did. "
http://www.catb.org/esr/writings/sextips/bedplay.html

Being stoical and not showing your emotion might be good in a hostile encounter with some guy. But when you are with a hot lady, then you need to be a baddie and let her know she is good to plow. And I don't mean telling her afterwards in some fancy words. I mean groaning and moaning, when you are thrusting her. And you don't really need to fake it with her. You just need to voice your emotions, when you are nailing her.

It's one thing for the hot lady to get pounded quietly and silently. But it's quite another to have her guy groan and moan with every balls-deep thrust, until he goes bust.

This second ride is something the hot lady might tell her friends about. Because it means the guy found her really sexy and hot. It's a complement for her. And it's something for her to boast about to her friends.

[Dan7373]

I found a great example of a guy using his dick in a coital alignment technique. I've done this kind of thing with a Thai lady before. And she orgasmed before I did. That's how pleasant this position can be for the lady you are with.

This position is really easy for the guy to get into with his lady. First, you take the lady's pussy in the missionary position. And then you use your legs to move her legs close together, with your cock still inside her pussy.

Having the lady's legs so close together with your cock inside her makes her pussy so tight around your cock that you end up moving her pussy around, when you try to pound. Instead of sliding in and out of her, you end up pushing and pulling on her pussy. Which is what makes it so pleasant for her. And to make it even more pleasant for the lady, you should push the shaft of your cock against the upper part of her pussy. Because that's where her clitoris is.

And this is exactly what the guy does in the GIF's below. From my own experience I can say that his technique is pretty good. That's the way to make it very pleasant for the lady and orgasm her with your cock, if you do it long enough:

https://dl.phncdn.com/gif/11366271.gif

https://cl.phncdn.com/gif/11366241.gif

This technique is a lot more pleasant for the lady, than it it is for the guy. Because her pussy grip on your cock is so tight, that you can only push and pull on her pussy, without sliding in and out of her. The lady gets a lot more stimulation in this situation than you. Which makes this technique something to do, when the hot lady invites you for a second shot with her.

When it's your second shot with the lady, then you no longer feel the urgency to do her hard and fast. At this point, you just want to last with the lady and enjoy your experience with her. And that's what makes this Modified Coital Alignment Technique so good for your second shot with the lady. You get a lot less stimulation than before. Which enables you to last for a long time with the lady and really give it to her in terms of making it pleasant for her.

Orgasming the lady with your cock is possible indeed. And it's actually pretty easy for a guy to do. The only anatomical requirement for this is that your cock needs to be big enough to get anchored inside the lady's pussy, when you bring her legs close together. Because the aim of the game here is to push and pull on her pussy, without sliding in and out of her. There is no friction for the lady at all. It's all about stretching and pressuring her pussy with your cock. That's how the lady gets her pleasure.

Of course, another barrier for doing this position with your lady is cultural. Because in a way this is a reversal of sex roles.

When the lady brings her legs close together with you, then this probably makes her feel like a man. Because men usually hold their legs together when they have sex with a lady. And when you spread your legs over her body, then in a way you assume the typical position of a woman. Because women usually spread their legs over a guy.

This reversal of sex roles is so graphic and so extreme that even so called sex-experts have a blind spot to it. Vast majority never mention it in their sex advice for women and guys, even though this technique is very effective for guys pleasing women. Many sex-experts online even say that vaginal sex isn't good for making women orgasm. Which is false. But they don't realize this is false, because they only think about women spreading their legs and guys keeping their legs together, rather than the other way around.

I don't think sex-experts are misleading people on purpose. They just have a blind spot caused by their culture.

[Dan7373]

Many ladies like to cuddle with their cocky guy. And this might also be the thing to do from a guy's point of view, provided that you have your cock balls-deep inside the lady's pussy, when you are cuddling with her.

I've read about some guys who go back inside after a good ride and just stay balls-deep inside their lady's pussy, until they fall asleep. The only thing I'm not sure about is if it's the guy or the cock who falls asleep. But either way, it's an enjoyable way for a guy to round off his experience with the lady.

I found from my experience that for my first shot with the hot lady, there is no way I can just stay with my cock inside her pussy. I need to bang her pussy, and I need to bang it good.

But when the hot lady offers you to have a second shot with her, then this is the time to try being the cuddly guy. Penetration meditation is what I call it. And for a while, it's not hard at all to bang the sexy girl just enough to maintain your erection with her, but not enough to cum with her.

There is something special about being balls-deep inside the hot lady and feeling her pussy all around your cock. It's an experience to enjoy for a guy, especially when you have the hots for the lady and you want to last for a long time with her.

A lot of hot ladies nowadays offer you to have 2 shots with them. This is certainly true, when you look at the profiles of smooci.com ladies. Almost every lady there offers you two hours and two shots with her. Two hours sounds like a long time. But I've come across a lady who said in a sex forum that one time a guy lasted with her for 4 hours. He banged her just enough to maintain his erection with her, but not enough to cum with her. It's certainly possible for a guy to last this long with his lady and enjoy the experience. And apparently, smooci.com ladies are available for 4 hours too.

The only thing, about lasting for a long time with the lady for your second shot with her, is that you need to entertain the lady to make it mutually enjoyable. I found one 5-second clip, where the guy just stays balls-deep inside the lady's pussy and plays her clit with his hand. And that's the thing to do to make it mutually enjoyable for both yourself and the lady:

https://dl.phncdn.com/pics/gifs/011/...11335351a.webm

[Dan7373]

Dan7373,

Did you ever try using grapeseed oil when pussy-rubbing? I can imagine using lube would get very sticky, and require a clean-up after, even when watered down. Or are you using some special high-quality lube?

I don't recommend using any kind of oil at all with P4P ladies. Because oil damages rubber condoms and can make them ineffective for protection against sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy.

There are some condoms made from polyurethane, rather than from rubber. And these condoms are okay to use with oil. But these condoms are more expensive, harder to find, and they often don't fit well, because they don't stretch as well as rubber condoms.

http://www.condom-sizes.org/polyuret...ative-to-latex

I think water-based lube is the thing to use.

Body soap with water is one such lubricant. And that's what Soapy Massage is all about. The lady lathers up herself and you with plenty of soap and water. And then she slides all over you with her pussy, ass, and tits. And I don't mean this in the figurative sense. The lady spreads her legs, mounts your thigh, and she rides her pussy on it like you are her favourite guy.

At this point, the lady's pussy is so slippery and so well lubricated that you can just start to masturbate her pussy with your hand, the way she masturbated herself on your thigh. And this is the thing to do with your soapy massage lady. Because this how you make her a baddie. Breathing heavily, pulling you on top of her, and urging you to nail her. That's what the hot massage lady does with you, after you masturbate her into a frenzy of lust.

But body soap with water is a good lubricant only for outer body massage. K-Y Gel and many other types of water based lubricants you can usually buy at the same place where condoms are sold. And that's the thing to use with your condoms.

The only thing about using water-based lube is that the water in it either gets absorbed by the body, or it dries out on your hand. And all you need to do is add some water to make it slippery again. It's actually more slippery, than than oil or soap, when it's mixed with enough water. You just need to add some water to it once in a while to keep it slippery. And this includes, when you are using it on your condoms.

Another problem with using lube is that it usually gets rubbed off, when you try to lubricate inside the lady's pussy or ass. All the lube gets left on the outside, and very little goes inside her. Which leads to a problem with sex. Because the lady isn't well lubricated. It's painful and uncomfortable for her.

And a good remedy for this is a disposable lube injector that you can buy online. It enables you to inject plenty of lube and some water later on too, deep inside the lady's pussy or ass. Which leads to a pleasant ride for both you and her.

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_n...+lube+injector

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j-C...=selfservetoys

[Dan7373]

Yes Dan, I am aware of oral sex risks, especially Chlamydia, HSV and HPV. Possible to contract via DATY or BBBJ. Some of these viruses can be also transmitted by finger in pussy.

On one occasion maybe 20 years ago, I contracted Chlamydia in my eye, commonly known as Chlamydia pink eye, due to finger in pussy, and then finger absent mindedly rubs the eye, before thorough clean / sterilisation....

Yes, you still need to be careful, even when you foreplay the lady with your hands rather than with your mouth.

The skin on your hands protects you from infection. But you need to wash your hands well, before you touch yourself. Or else you might transfer infectious fluids to your eyes or other parts of your body that can be infected.

If you are going to play the lady's pussy with your hand, then you either need to wash your hands with soap, before you put on your condom. Or you can ask the lady to put it on for you, provided that she didn't play her own pussy with her hand.

In my experience, Thai ladies don't usually play their pussy when they are with a guy. Which makes it safe to ask the lady to put on the condom for you.

Putting on your condom can sometimes be a deflating experience in terms of losing your erection. Because you lose your focus on the lady and start looking at yourself. And a good remedy for this is to ask the lady to do it for you. This can actually be an arousing experience, rather than a deflating one. Because you can really focus on the chick, even while she fumbles with your dick.

[Shiba7]

She let me masturbate her pussy and clit for a while.

Dan7373,

Did you ever try using grapeseed oil when pussy-rubbing? I can imagine using lube would get very sticky, and require a clean-up after, even when watered down. Or are you using some special high-quality lube?

[Syzygies]

I used to be a DATY enthusiast too, when I was steady with one lady in a conventional relationship. But I changed what I did with P4P ladies. Because I have some medically-related education, and I know it for a fact that it's possible to transmit some viral and bacterial infections through unprotected oral sex. And the thing about such infections is that they often don't show symptoms for a long time. Which means that you could be transmitting your infection to other people and not know about it. That's how transmission usually happens.

Yes Dan, I am aware of oral sex risks, especially Chlamydia, HSV and HPV. Possible to contract via DATY or BBBJ. Some of these viruses can be also transmitted by finger in pussy.

On one occasion maybe 20 years ago, I contracted Chlamydia in my eye, commonly known as Chlamydia pink eye, due to finger in pussy, and then finger absent mindedly rubs the eye, before thorough clean / sterilisation. Fortunately easily treatable. Unfortunately doctor was initially treating me for wrong type of eye infection (maybe a viral infection) so I would have been better to buy the Azithromycin myself, just in case. Years later again a doctor treated me for an eye infection, and again treatment did not work. This time switch to Gentamycin worked, but I was never tested to find out what caused the infection. So don't know if was again Chlamydia or something else, and don't know if problem came from a girl's pussy or not. I start to hate how doctors assume one disease is likely without testing, causing delays to rectify the problem.

[Dan7373]

I've said in this forum before that when I go to a massage parlour, then I go there to massage the massage lady. This is what gets me off. That's why I don't care much about the lady's massage skills. I'm there to do her with both my hands and my dick.

And now there is a new study that involved couples massaging each other. This study found that you basically get the same physical and emotional benefits from massage, regardless of whether you are the one who massaged your partner, or whether your partner massaged you.

https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_relea...-reo050117.php

This study confirms what I've known from my own experience for some time. Which is that massaging the lady makes me feel really good and satisfies me. I don't really need a massage from the lady, as long as I get to massage her, with both my hands and my dick.

I prefer to massage the massage lady, rather than have her massage me. Because I know exactly what I want to do and how I want to do it. But when the lady doesn't know me, then she doesn't know what works well for me. She might or might not do it the way I like. It's an iffy kind of thing and a lot less sure, than when I massage the hot lady myself.

[Dan7373]

I found from my experience that it can be really hard to choose a lady and decide to go with her, when there are many ladies to choose from. Sometimes I go away and not choose anybody.

And the problem here isn't the looks. It's simply having too many ladies to choose from. It's so hard to decide which lady to ride, that you lose your mood and don't do any lady good.

There was actually an experimental study done, where consumers were shown a display of 24 varieties of gourmet jam on one day and only 6 varieties on another day. The larger display attracted more interest from people. But when it came to buying one of these jams, then people looking at only 6 varieties were 10 times more likely to buy, than those looking at 24 varieties.

https://hbr.org/2006/06/more-isnt-always-better

And the lesson of this study is that having a lot of choice makes it so difficult to choose that people can't decide, and they don't buy as a result.

I think this is what happens with many guys, including myself, when they have too many ladies to choose from. They don't choose anybody and go away.

But there is a solution to this problem. And it's actually something I've read in this forum that some guys do. Basically, you split your deciding and your riding into two separate parts that you do on two different days.

First, you visit the place and make a short list of the ladies you'd like to do in the future. And it has to a short list of no more than 6 ladies. Or else you'll still have too many ladies to choose from.

Then you go home, fantasize and masturbate about each one these ladies, so that you will know exactly what to do, when you get the hot lady in the private room with you.

Then you come back with your list and go for the first lady you see on this list. If you've already masturbated about her, then you are more than ready to take her. You no longer need to decide which lady to ride. You just take her and go to fulfil your masturbation fantasy with her.

And if you see more than one lady on your list, then this won't stop you from choosing a lady. Because your list is short enough that it's no longer hard to decide which hot lady to ride.

The only problem I have with making a short list of hot ladies like this is that I end up going after each and everyone of them. I don't know which lady on my list will be there when I come back for the second time. So, I masturbate about each lady, just in case. I make myself ready for every lady on this list. And then I end up stalking each lady at the parlour and waiting for her until eventually I get to each and every lady on my list.

Instead of not choosing enough, I end up choosing too much. It's like I'm not satisfied, until I give each hot lady on my list a good ride.

There are some massage parlors that offer you a smaller choice of only 5 or 6 ladies. But this isn't necessarily a good strategy for a massage parlour to have. Because authors of the above study said that the smaller display attracted less people. They got fewer customers. But the customers, they got, were much more likely to buy.

Perhaps the best strategy for a massage parlor to have is to encourage their customers to make a short list of ladies they like and might want to do in the future, instead of putting pressure on guys to choose a specific lady and go with her right there and then. Because once a guy makes a short list, then this limits his choice to a reasonable number of ladies. Which makes it a lot easier for him to choose a lady he likes. And giving the guy time to think about it, especially if he goes home and comes back, then this is like giving the guy a chance to masturbate about the lady, before he takes her. This makes the guy decide which lady to ride, before he even comes back.

[Dan7373]

One advice for cocky guys I've heard about is putting a big pillow under the lady's hips in the doggy position. This enables the lady to relax completely and just lie on top of the pillow still in the doggy position for the guy behind her.

And the big advantage of this relaxed doggy position is that the guy behind her can go all out on her and just slam her bum like there is no tomorrow. Normally, you can't do this kind of thing with the lady in doggy, because you will knock her out of her doggy position. But with that pillow under her, you can use your whole weight on her, and she will still stay in the doggy position with you.

I found an amateur Asian video, where a guy and his hot gal do exactly as I've described above. I think this is something to watch and learn from:

https://cl.phncdn.com/gif/11076131.gif

This is the whole video: https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.p...h59033cfc04fc2.

I don't know about you, but I find it especially hot to pound a hot lady from behind hard enough to hear the slapping sounds. And that's what happens in this video. You can clearly hear "slap, slap, slap". This guy really slaps his lady's ass-cheeks with his hips. And she responds with some realistic groans and moans too.

When the lady can hear the slapping sounds, then she knows that she is really getting nailed. This is like an extra sensation and an extra clue for her. The lady in doggy can't see her own nailing, unless there is a mirror. She needs extra clues like this to make it hot for her.

I found from my experience that some P4P ladies get embarrassed by slapping sounds like that. They are afraid their friends might hear and understand what's going on. It's one thing to have sex with a guy. But it's quite another to get nailed so much that you can hear the slapping sounds coming out of the room. Apparently, P4P ladies make fun of each other and laugh about it, when they hear one of their friends getting nailed like that.

But besides possible embarrassment for the lady, this is also really hot for her. The lady gets more aroused, when she hears something like this. That's why I like to do it with my ladies. And the technique shown in the video above is the way to do it. You need to put a big pillow under the lady's hips, so that she won't lose her doggy position. And then you can slam her cheeks with your hips at full speed to make those slapping sounds for her and her friends, who might be listening.

[Dan7373]

You asked the wrong guy. Dan is not a DATY enthusiast. Dan is a hand enthusiast and may well be very expert in that department. I am a DATY enthusiast.

I don't ask girls if they like DATY in general. It's more a question of if they allow it. Even then I don't ask.

Here is how it goes. Usually start off on the bed with both kneeling facing each other. A bit of caressing and light touching of her ass and tits, a bit of a kiss if thinks going well. The girl asks me to lie down. I ask her to lie down instead, suggesting I want to enjoy her body. ....

I used to be a DATY enthusiast too, when I was steady with one lady in a conventional relationship. But I changed what I did with P4P ladies. Because I have some medically-related education, and I know it for a fact that it's possible to transmit some viral and bacterial infections through unprotected oral sex. And the thing about such infections is that they often don't show symptoms for a long time. Which means that you could be transmitting your infection to other people and not know about it. That's how transmission usually happens.

This isn't just about protecting yourself. This is also about protecting the ladies you are with. Because after you get infected with one lady, then you can unintentionally transmit it to another lady.

That's why I don't do DATY with P4P ladies. It's not a matter of taste or personal preference for me. It's a matter of safety and ethics.

I also don't ask the lady, before I reach for her clit and start masturbating it. This is normal foreplay. And most ladies take it this way.

Although I've been with one soapy massage lady, who changed her massage technique and started massaging my lower body, so that I couldn't reach her pussy with my hand. She stayed there for a while.

I pretended to forget about her pussy and didn't reach for it, when she was barely within my reach. She moved closer to massage my upper body. And her clit was mine right away. I was just waiting for her to do that.

She let me masturbate her pussy and clit for a while. But when she started to get really aroused and wet, then she moved away again to massage my lower body. I again pretended to forget about her pussy. But this time she knew that I was waiting for her to play her pussy again. She came back anyway. And this time, she held her legs apart for me, so that I could masturbate her whole pussy with my whole hand.

We repeated this routine a couple of times. Then she couldn't take it anymore and got me to nail her.

I think giving the massage lady freedom of movement and doing her pussy during her massage is a good way to do it. Because the lady has a good excuse to take a break whenever she wants. If you can't reach her pussy for a while, then this isn't her fault. She is just doing her job. Then she comes back. And your hand is there waiting for her.

I think it's a lot easier and less trouble to play the lady's pussy and clit with your hand than to do DATY on her. Because you don't need to take control or tell the lady what to do. She can continue to move around as she wants. And she doesn't need to assume in any special position.

This works with shy ladies and with strong-willed ladies too. If the lady wants to be in charge, then so be it. You can still masturbate her clit. It's like you are just foreplaying the lady. And the lady lets you do it, regardless of her personality or circumstances. You aren't asking her to do anything. You are just playing her pussy and clit, because you feel like it.

[Dan7373]

Great blog Dan.

Question for you. I would say about 50% of the Thai women I've been with say they don't like DATY. In my opinion, how would they know if they don't let me try? What's your opinion about Thai women and DATY? How about your experiences with Thai women and this?

Sorry, it took me so long to reply. I got busy with other things and didn't come back here for a while.

I talked with a Thai lady, who told me about her experience of saying "No" to DATY with a guy. He threatened that he wouldn't pay. So, she agreed. But she wasn't happy about it.

She told me that she didn't understand why the guy wanted to do this with her. Because DATY was a turn-off for her, and supposedly he was doing this for her. His behavior seemed illogical to her.

I stayed with this lady for weeks. She had really nice, big boobs. I liked her. But I was a little too big for her in the cock department. She was trying her best. But it wasn't working well for her, especially with condoms and the lube drying up.

So I decided to give her a break and get off with her in a different way. I kept my cock to myself. And I started going after her pussy with my hand and plenty of lube to masturbate her and make her orgasm. Perhaps you might call this empathetic sex. Because masturbating the lady to orgasm was in a way satisfying for me too, even though I didn't physically orgasm with her.

The only problem with keeping my cock to myself was that my sexual desire accumulated and increased quite a bit. I became a kind of a sex-fiend with her. I was grabbing her pussy and masturbating her to orgasm 2 or 3 times a day, every day. And I still wanted more. She even yelled at me a little, when I didn't give her much of a break and went after her pussy again, soon after she already orgasmed with me. This was a little too much for her.

At the beginning, this lady was actually very reluctant to let me masturbate her pussy and clit. I didn't want to pressure her. But I had to tell her that I would leave, if she wouldn't let me do it. Because this was true. I was thinking of leaving her.

Her first masturbation orgasm with me was difficult to achieve. It took a long time. I firmly masturbated her whole pussy with the flat of my hand, hard-and-fast, the way a guy would masturbate his cock. I actually used the same rhythm, the same speed, and the same firmness on her pussy with my hand as I would normally use on my cock. I wanted her to be able to relate to me and understand how I feel. And that's why I masturbated her pussy, as though she was a guy.

I could feel her erect clitoris slipping and sliding on my hand. And I knew that she was enjoying it. But she would come close to orgasm and then somehow get distracted and recede from it. This happened several times. It was like she had a mental block against having an orgasm.

I had to change my tactics with her. I continued to masturbate her pussy with my hand, just like before. But with my other hand, I started grabbing her tits, pinching and holding her nipples, stroking the insides of her thighs, grabbing her ass and playing with her cheeks. I even grabbed and held her big toe, while doing her pussy and clit hard-and-fast with my other hand. In the end she had a wild orgasm. I distracted her mental block at the right moment with a firm nipple pinch. She lost it and orgasmed.

Her second orgasm with me went faster and better. She now knew that her mental block against orgasm would only prolong her pleasure. I would stay with her and masturbate her, until she orgasmed.

After a few days, I noticed that she was going to bed early and apparently waiting for me to join her. I was masturbating her pussy at this time every day. I never forgot to do it. So, she already knew that I was going to do it, and she was panting for it.

I was more of an evening person, and she was more of a morning person. I always did her pussy in the evening. But in the morning, I sometimes forgot. So, this lady would take my hand and put it on her pussy to indicate that she wanted some pussy masturbation. Which I gladly obliged. And of course, she orgasmed with me every time. Because I wouldn't stop, until she orgasmed. And if she would take a little too long, then I would go all out on her with both hands, they way I did her first time. And this would do the trick every time.

Towards the end, this lady was perhaps orgasming a little too fast. She would take only 5 minutes to orgasm. I was orgasming her 2 or 3 times a day, every day. She had no trouble keeping up with that. This was okay with her.

I think a big part of my success with this lady in getting her to orgasm this well and this much is that I used my own masturbation technique on her. I did her pussy with the flat of my hand. But the rhythm, the firmness, and the speed were all the same, as if I was masturbating myself. This enabled me to understand and relate to her sensations and feelings. I knew that her sensations and feelings were similar to what I've experienced myself. Because I was doing her the same way as I did myself.

I could tell when she was getting more aroused and getting closer orgasm, or getting away from it. And it's this understanding that enabled me to orgasm her every time. I could read her sensations and feelings and use them as my feedback for masturbating her pussy just the right way.

And the moral of this story is that women often don't want to do sexual things that are pleasant for them, because it goes against their culture and upbringing. Women aren't supposed to enjoy sex. That's how most women are raised, even in Thailand. And it's not just a mental block for women. Many people in society look down on women, who are good with men and who enjoy sex with them. These women can be ostracized and excluded, which is a serious social punishment. Women need to worry about their reputation and keep up their appearances. Or else some people will make trouble for them. It's not a trivial matter for them. And I think guys should be sympathetic enough to help women keep up their appearances. Do it only in private and not embarrass the lady in public.

DATY is something I used to like too. But I found from my experience that it's not nearly as efficient and effective as doing the lady with your hand.

For one thing, your tongue and your lips get tired faster than your hand. If the lady is taking a little too long to orgasm, then you might not be able to make her orgasm at all. You get tired and stop. I can say this from my own experience.

Another big advantage of doing the lady's pussy and clit with your well-lubricated hand is that you can just reach for her clit and start masturbating it, as if it's the normal thing to do, and let her slap your hand away, if she doesn't like it. I found from my experience that almost all ladies just let you do it, until they are panting with sexual arousal and pulling you on top of them for a good ride. You don't need to bargain with the lady to reach for her clit and masturbate it. And the lady doesn't even need to stop moving or stay in the same position. You can always reach for her clit and masturbate it, no matter what she does or which way she turns.

I remember one time a hot lady was trying to give me a soapy body-to-body massage. She was pretty good at it. But I kept reaching for her clit and masturbating it every time. There was no escape for her, no matter which way she turned. Her clit was mine, as soon as it was within my reach. She couldn't take it anymore and started pulling me on top of her for a missionary ride. I destroyed her massage technique and took her with my dick.

But the biggest advantage of doing the lady with your hand, rather than with your mouth, is that you can masturbate the lady the way you would masturbate yourself. You can use the same rhythm, the same firmness, and the same speed. And this enables you to connect with the lady emotionally, understand how she feels, and use this as your feedback to make her orgasm.

The only thing I miss about not doing DATY on a lady is sucking on her clit. You can give the lady an instant clitoral erection by sealing your lips around her clit and creating some negative air pressure around it with your cheeks. Clitoral pump is what I call it. And this does give the lady a pleasant sensation. It's a great way to give the lady about as big a clitoral erection as she can possibly have. And you can probably orgasm the lady just by sucking on her clit.

[Member #4591]

You asked the wrong guy. Dan is not a DATY enthusiast. Dan is a hand enthusiast and may well be very expert in that department. I am a DATY enthusiast.

I don't ask girls if they like DATY in general. It's more a question of if they allow it. Even then I don't ask.

Here is how it goes. Usually start off on the bed with both kneeling facing each other. A bit of caressing and light touching of her ass and tits, a bit of a kiss if thinks going well. The girl asks me to lie down. I ask her to lie down instead, suggesting I want to enjoy her body. Start with a bit of kissing action, neck, nipples, mouth as far as permitted. Move down her body to start kissing her inner thighs lightly and top of pussy very lightly. I am sneaking up to the DATY gradually and gauging her reaction. Most girls, 95% are allowing the approach to DATY as long as it is not too forceful. Most girls like it to start very gently and softly. Occasionally girls say they don't really like DATY, but I am ignoring that if they don't actively stop me. Some girls start off completely disinterested in the DATY, but after start getting stimulated they can either forget their objections, and get into it, or some girls don't not want to cum and will stop me, others are to shy to cum right on your face and will suggest to switch to fucking, like they may say they want your dick in them, because they are used to cumming from other ways. Good DATY technique that comes from training, and from very broad experience is important. Girls don't like bad DATY of course, same as I don't like a bad forceful painful BBBJ. Not every girl likes DATY the same way. Have to try variations and observe which techniques she responds best to. Tough to tell for girls that are very still, showing little in the way of reactions.

I don't really repeat girls that are not into DATY at all, so all my regulars like it big time, as far as I can tell. One of my bargirls Oom is a girl very difficult to cum. I can get her there sometimes. I think she really needs a high powered fucker. We still get on pretty well anyway. She never expects to cum every time. Other sensitive girls can't hold out to good DATY and will blow within minutes. It's similar to guys with a BBBJ. Can we fail to enjoy a BBBJ with really fabulous technique? Can we just ignore it? Some guys will blow very quickly indeed to a great BBBJ just because they are too sensitive. I am in the difficult to cum category, but a good BBBJ still works. Girls with a good technique DATY can be somewhat similar.

If the girl does not want to cum, sometimes she will have to stop the DATY, when stimulation gets too much for her to handle. Others may be less sensitive and able to just disregard it.

The percentage of Thai girls that truly do not like a good DATY under any circumstances is less than 10%, maybe only 5%, IMHO. Perhaps my sample is somehow biased, I don't know? Not many working girls are stopping me from doing DATY. Some enjoy it, some reluctantly give in to enjoying it. One latin girl even told me was her first ever cum as a working girl since most customers too lazy to give her an extended DATY. Another latin girl had a cum on our first session. She never let me do DATY again after that. She wanted to stay in control, embarrassed that she had let herself go, the first time.

The number of guys that do not like a really good BBBJ is extremely low, right? I am in the camp that I don't really like hand jobs, but am sure I could succumb to a really good expert one. Girls that truly dislike DATY should also be lowish. My ex wife was a strange case she actually did not like DATY. She needed finger technique concurrent with a dick inside her, or maybe my DATY technique was not good enough. That was before a Thai girl trained me up on how to do the DATY right.

What Thai girls really mean when they say they don't like DATY, is they don't like a bad to average DATY, or they don't want to cum (too tiring), or they are too tired already, or saving it for the BF. Many guys have weak technique. Many do not have the patience to give a girl a long slow build up DATY till she finally gets to explode after 20 minutes, and don't want to waste their session time.

As always, YMMV.

I completely ignored 69, but I often enjoy that to be included in the session. In upside down DATY (69), my nose helps stimulate the girl inside the pussy, instead of a digit.

I hate to be "failing to finish" a girl as Dan puts it, if have got her into the mood to get there. Finishing her with a DATY is my most reliable technique, not being a hand expert.

Some great thoughts my man. You and I are very similar in how we approach DATY. The one thing I will try that I learnt from you is the slower approach. Great suggestion!

[Syzygies]

Great blog Dan.

Question for you. I would say about 50% of the Thai women I've been with say they don't like DATY. In my opinion, how would they know if they don't let me try? What's your opinion about Thai women and DATY? How about your experiences with Thai women and this?

You asked the wrong guy. Dan is not a DATY enthusiast. Dan is a hand enthusiast and may well be very expert in that department. I am a DATY enthusiast.

I don't ask girls if they like DATY in general. It's more a question of if they allow it. Even then I don't ask.

Here is how it goes. Usually start off on the bed with both kneeling facing each other. A bit of caressing and light touching of her ass and tits, a bit of a kiss if thinks going well. The girl asks me to lie down. I ask her to lie down instead, suggesting I want to enjoy her body. Start with a bit of kissing action, neck, nipples, mouth as far as permitted. Move down her body to start kissing her inner thighs lightly and top of pussy very lightly. I am sneaking up to the DATY gradually and gauging her reaction. Most girls, 95% are allowing the approach to DATY as long as it is not too forceful. Most girls like it to start very gently and softly. Occasionally girls say they don't really like DATY, but I am ignoring that if they don't actively stop me. Some girls start off completely disinterested in the DATY, but after start getting stimulated they can either forget their objections, and get into it, or some girls don't not want to cum and will stop me, others are to shy to cum right on your face and will suggest to switch to fucking, like they may say they want your dick in them, because they are used to cumming from other ways. Good DATY technique that comes from training, and from very broad experience is important. Girls don't like bad DATY of course, same as I don't like a bad forceful painful BBBJ. Not every girl likes DATY the same way. Have to try variations and observe which techniques she responds best to. Tough to tell for girls that are very still, showing little in the way of reactions.

I don't really repeat girls that are not into DATY at all, so all my regulars like it big time, as far as I can tell. One of my bargirls Oom is a girl very difficult to cum. I can get her there sometimes. I think she really needs a high powered fucker. We still get on pretty well anyway. She never expects to cum every time. Other sensitive girls can't hold out to good DATY and will blow within minutes. It's similar to guys with a BBBJ. Can we fail to enjoy a BBBJ with really fabulous technique? Can we just ignore it? Some guys will blow very quickly indeed to a great BBBJ just because they are too sensitive. I am in the difficult to cum category, but a good BBBJ still works. Girls with a good technique DATY can be somewhat similar.

If the girl does not want to cum, sometimes she will have to stop the DATY, when stimulation gets too much for her to handle. Others may be less sensitive and able to just disregard it.

The percentage of Thai girls that truly do not like a good DATY under any circumstances is less than 10%, maybe only 5%, IMHO. Perhaps my sample is somehow biased, I don't know? Not many working girls are stopping me from doing DATY. Some enjoy it, some reluctantly give in to enjoying it. One latin girl even told me was her first ever cum as a working girl since most customers too lazy to give her an extended DATY. Another latin girl had a cum on our first session. She never let me do DATY again after that. She wanted to stay in control, embarrassed that she had let herself go, the first time.

The number of guys that do not like a really good BBBJ is extremely low, right? I am in the camp that I don't really like hand jobs, but am sure I could succumb to a really good expert one. Girls that truly dislike DATY should also be lowish. My ex wife was a strange case she actually did not like DATY. She needed finger technique concurrent with a dick inside her, or maybe my DATY technique was not good enough. That was before a Thai girl trained me up on how to do the DATY right.

What Thai girls really mean when they say they don't like DATY, is they don't like a bad to average DATY, or they don't want to cum (too tiring), or they are too tired already, or saving it for the BF. Many guys have weak technique. Many do not have the patience to give a girl a long slow build up DATY till she finally gets to explode after 20 minutes, and don't want to waste their session time.

As always, YMMV.

I completely ignored 69, but I often enjoy that to be included in the session. In upside down DATY (69), my nose helps stimulate the girl inside the pussy, instead of a digit.

I hate to be "failing to finish" a girl as Dan puts it, if have got her into the mood to get there. Finishing her with a DATY is my most reliable technique, not being a hand expert.