Stupid Shit in Tijuana

[ClownDays]

I'd be interested in what the red flags are before they happen. She seems genuine and when I was driving back with her and her male cousin from her aunts house, she received texts from some dude that kept popping up on the Apple CarPlay. I asked her what time it was in Sinaloa and she said 2 am. She then had her male cousin read the WhatsApp text messages and he said the conversation is lame and something to do with slang "w" in texts meaning buddy. He said his cousin is a good person and I need to have confidence in the relationship. If only he knew the "whole" story of how we really met. Nothing for me to complain about and she treats me good so hope I can keep enjoying the ride.

If you can tell she's enjoying sex with you, when you can tell differently, it's a good sign something's off. If her sexual appetite goes away or she becomes semi-mechanical that's a big one. Catching her working again would be another, or even having a second cell phone.

If you're living together, under a somewhat traditional relationship, you are expected to cover the household expenses and meals out and stuff like that. Money to help the family on the onece in a blue moon occasion is not that big of a deal, but if someone in the family is always hitting you guys up for money, and she isn't off put by it, then there's something wrong there. Even in Mexico, people get tired of lazy people who become leaches, or can't ever solve money problems. If her family is out of state, you may not get hit up for this, but Latinos usually use something called a "Tanda" to raise a ton of money for a particular cause. They're like a big crowdfunded short term 0 interest loan. If you need $2000, you get 19 other people to chip in $100 every week for 20 weeks. You get the first $2000, and over the next 19 weeks, everyone else gets paid back one at a time. These are generally safe, and if it's for family, just require that you be early on the payback schedule- some people who use this as a way to save money, actually prefer to be near the end, so asking to be early is not a particularly rude.

Your real test will probably be after Paris. I'd personally, dial down the money you're spending on going out and stuff like that. If you're going out to restaurants, try going to taco trucks or cenadurias (little pop-up restaurants out of people's garages). Even if you can easily afford it and it's part of your personal self-care, dial down the going out and overall money spending, and see what kind of arguments pop up. If none pop up, she's probably the real deal. If you get emotional arguments, also a good sign that she thinks you're losing affection for her. If you get money arguments, she's scared the gravy train is running out.

[Member #4730]

This is actually a really good sign. She may buy some fancy stuff for herself, but sending money home to make sure her parent's house the fixed up is a very good sign that she has a solid upbringing. Don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy the ride. Until you get hit with some of the big glaring red flags, it actually sounds like this one is a keeper.

I'd be interested in what the red flags are before they happen. She seems genuine and when I was driving back with her and her male cousin from her aunts house, she received texts from some dude that kept popping up on the Apple CarPlay. I asked her what time it was in Sinaloa and she said 2 am. She then had her male cousin read the WhatsApp text messages and he said the conversation is lame and something to do with slang "w" in texts meaning buddy. He said his cousin is a good person and I need to have confidence in the relationship. If only he knew the "whole" story of how we really met. Nothing for me to complain about and she treats me good so hope I can keep enjoying the ride.

[Member #4730]

It's very hard to find girls who enjoy the same things you do on travels, not sports, culture, food, arts, shows, adventure, mixing, partying having funs with locals, and never, ever looking or glancing at hot local girls on the roads hehe. The girls would not likely enjoy zip line riding, jungle trekking, diving, snorkeling, playing with sharks and manta rays, eating, drinking, partying with locals, wandering working, selling and living places looking to understand the essence of locals' life ect. All they want are shopping for stupid shit which you have to pay for and carry home, fancy meals, shows and parties where they can flash their wealth and alleged sex appeals to the crowd to feel good about their declining status.

A lot of these GFs are not educated or worldly. When they are exposed to exotic places, peoples and cultures, they feel fear and tend to act hostile, some can turn into real jealous, ugly and demanding biitches on trips, destroying any fun, joys, happiness, wasting precious vacation time and money, lots of times these trips cause couples to break up.

It's a loose loose situation and a double loss for guys who spend time and money to arrange the trip. Guys take girls to vacations, probably hoping to get the satisfaction of showing them new places, novel experiences, perhaps also having sex with them on the road. Sadly for most guys, they would get no satisfaction or sex, just lots of fuking headaches, heavy expense, big bills and likely damages to their relationships. I got lots of heartache and headaches with a few girls on expensive vacations. A few other close friends got reamed in the same deals.

I prefer to travel alone or with a few guys who are into bagging and screwing girls, pros or non pros, on the road. I met some very nice, fun, beautiful girls and women travelers who want to enjoy romances and hot sex on trips. I only travel to locations where I have good chances of bagging hot girls every day; no more travels purely for sight seeing, architectural, cultural bullshit. Let the women travel with their stupid, sexless friends on their onw dimes so they can shop until they drop and carry their own shiit home.

Already booked airfares leaving next week for a couple countries in Central America where hot, sexy girls are waiting hehe. Coincidentally a few bros will also be going to the same countries. Will hook up with them with local bros and have a really fun, relaxing, sexy vacation this time after 18 months CoVid shutdown.

Any bro going to Central America, Colombia, last 2 weeks of November through first 2 weeks of Dec, let meet up and have fun.

I'm not sure who you're referencing, but every trip I've taken a bar girl have been great. In Thailand and Mexico, they have made the trip for me and have a genuine connection, rather than trying to hunt every night to figure out if you're going to get a bad experience or possibly robbed. I guess that is why the "hobby" is very YMMV. You can probably see the signs before taking them on these vacations. A suggestion would be to take them on short local trips before paying for the extended stays.

[Captain Solo]

It's very hard to find girls who enjoy the same things you do on travels, not sports, culture, food, arts, shows, adventure, mixing, partying having funs with locals, and never, ever looking or glancing at hot local girls on the roads hehe. The girls would not likely enjoy zip line riding, jungle trekking, diving, snorkeling, playing with sharks and manta rays, eating, drinking, partying with locals, wandering working, selling and living places looking to understand the essence of locals' life ect. All they want are shopping for stupid shit which you have to pay for and carry home, fancy meals, shows and parties where they can flash their wealth and alleged sex appeals to the crowd to feel good about their declining status.

A lot of these GFs are not educated or worldly. When they are exposed to exotic places, peoples and cultures, they feel fear and tend to act hostile, some can turn into real jealous, ugly and demanding biitches on trips, destroying any fun, joys, happiness, wasting precious vacation time and money, lots of times these trips cause couples to break up.

It's a loose loose situation and a double loss for guys who spend time and money to arrange the trip. Guys take girls to vacations, probably hoping to get the satisfaction of showing them new places, novel experiences, perhaps also having sex with them on the road. Sadly for most guys, they would get no satisfaction or sex, just lots of fuking headaches, heavy expense, big bills and likely damages to their relationships. I got lots of heartache and headaches with a few girls on expensive vacations. A few other close friends got reamed in the same deals.

I prefer to travel alone or with a few guys who are into bagging and screwing girls, pros or non pros, on the road. I met some very nice, fun, beautiful girls and women travelers who want to enjoy romances and hot sex on trips. I only travel to locations where I have good chances of bagging hot girls every day; no more travels purely for sight seeing, architectural, cultural bullshit. Let the women travel with their stupid, sexless friends on their onw dimes so they can shop until they drop and carry their own shiit home.

Already booked airfares leaving next week for a couple countries in Central America where hot, sexy girls are waiting hehe. Coincidentally a few bros will also be going to the same countries. Will hook up with them with local bros and have a really fun, relaxing, sexy vacation this time after 18 months CoVid shutdown.

Any bro going to Central America, Colombia, last 2 weeks of November through first 2 weeks of Dec, let meet up and have fun.

[ClownDays]

Thanks for the advice. Family haven't hit me up, but she shows me the family house and it is in rough shape. She is helping them tile their floor, get new doors for rooms, and possibly a kitchen renovation since it is old and tiny. I know I could help bank roll it all, but don't want to commit myself to these projects just yet. I will see how things go after the New Years Paris trip. Thanks to everyone for confirming that she seems like a good typical Mexican woman. I tend to push people too much and like you stated she should have walked numerous times. I've got to keep my insecurities under control.

This is actually a really good sign. She may buy some fancy stuff for herself, but sending money home to make sure her parent's house the fixed up is a very good sign that she has a solid upbringing. Don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy the ride. Until you get hit with some of the big glaring red flags, it actually sounds like this one is a keeper.

[SeaBeeJoe]

Bigger hustlers than the putas in zona norte? Lmao.

No Magick Mike, there is not a better hustler then an old seasoned HK girl. No innocents' there LOLOLOL.

[SeaBeeJoe]

Bigger hustlers than the putas in zona norte? Lmao.

Tell me about it jajajajjaaj!

[Big Magick]

I was in Paris for 5 days in 2015 with my ex wife. What a wonderful city. Just stay away from the clowns by the Effiel tower, they are hustlers.

Bigger hustlers than the putas in zona norte? Lmao.

[SeaBeeJoe]

Thanks for the advice. Family haven't hit me up, but she shows me the family house and it is in rough shape. She is helping them tile their floor, get new doors for rooms, and possibly a kitchen renovation since it is old and tiny. I know I could help bank roll it all, but don't want to commit myself to these projects just yet. I will see how things go after the New Years Paris trip. Thanks to everyone for confirming that she seems like a good typical Mexican woman. I tend to push people too much and like you stated she should have walked numerous times. I've got to keep my insecurities under control.

I was in Paris for 5 days in 2015 with my ex wife. What a wonderful city. Just stay away from the clowns by the Effiel tower, they are hustlers.

[Member #4730]

Your gal is bragging about you. She has told them you are the one. Your gal loves you and most of the time, you make her happy, and her family sees that. That is all any family wants, for a loved one to be happy.

They just want to confirm what your gal is seeing about you is accurate. Love blinds us all. I knew that, so I wanted my female friend AKA the blood hound to check out my gal. Within two days, she had sniffed out as much info as I had in months. It was amazing how accurate she was about us.

Of course, she is head over heels in love with you.

Relationships are scary because most relationships do end painfully. You know that Shakespeare line, "'Tis better to have loved and lost. Than never to have loved at all. " it is true. If I had not gone through a painful breakup, I would not have met my dream girl. So if she is not the one just have faith that you have learned about what you really want and need, and the next one likely will be better still. Sometimes God puts us through pain to teach us.

The reason most guys monger is they want sex and not the side of pain that goes with relationships, but sex is a temporary boost of pleasure not real happiness. Happiness comes from being around people who really want to be with you not those paid to do so. Yeah, the odds of being in a happy relationship are long but when you have a chance at it, you have to go for it.

BTW, if anyone in the family hits you up for money, tell your gal and let her deal with it. That is not a good sign for you if members of her family do that.

Thanks for the advice. Family haven't hit me up, but she shows me the family house and it is in rough shape. She is helping them tile their floor, get new doors for rooms, and possibly a kitchen renovation since it is old and tiny. I know I could help bank roll it all, but don't want to commit myself to these projects just yet. I will see how things go after the New Years Paris trip. Thanks to everyone for confirming that she seems like a good typical Mexican woman. I tend to push people too much and like you stated she should have walked numerous times. I've got to keep my insecurities under control.

[Huacho]

When I get free time, I'll try to learn the language. I was married to a Mexican for over 20 years and didn't learn much

This woman is way too good for a pinche gabacho like you.

[Elvis 2008]

Her aunts even ask her how I'm doing which are her fathers sisters. Not sure how they accepted me so quickly into the family.

Your gal is bragging about you. She has told them you are the one. Your gal loves you and most of the time, you make her happy, and her family sees that. That is all any family wants, for a loved one to be happy.

The scary part is she is introducing me to her mother and little brother next week and met more extended family in Tijuana / Rosarito.

They just want to confirm what your gal is seeing about you is accurate. Love blinds us all. I knew that, so I wanted my female friend AKA the blood hound to check out my gal. Within two days, she had sniffed out as much info as I had in months. It was amazing how accurate she was about us.

Also she was loyal even when we were friends and all of the dudes in Cancun seemed to be trying to hit on her.

Of course, she is head over heels in love with you.

Relationships are scary because most relationships do end painfully. You know that Shakespeare line, "'Tis better to have loved and lost. Than never to have loved at all. " it is true. If I had not gone through a painful breakup, I would not have met my dream girl. So if she is not the one just have faith that you have learned about what you really want and need, and the next one likely will be better still. Sometimes God puts us through pain to teach us.

The reason most guys monger is they want sex and not the side of pain that goes with relationships, but sex is a temporary boost of pleasure not real happiness. Happiness comes from being around people who really want to be with you not those paid to do so. Yeah, the odds of being in a happy relationship are long but when you have a chance at it, you have to go for it.

BTW, if anyone in the family hits you up for money, tell your gal and let her deal with it. That is not a good sign for you if members of her family do that.

[Member #4730]

Relationships are suppose to be fun and mutually beneficial. From your posts it sounds like you're more worried than happy though. Its safe to say most if not all the posters here are addicts or have some weird mental thing going on. Its a good and bad thing about us but what you said about feeling empty after mongering is extremely relatable. After my trips I'm happy but I'm starting to feel guilt and remorse. Its the same point I got to with drugs or gambling. Yes in the moment the experience is enjoyable but did I really have to do it for the 1,000th or so time? I crave a more normal stable relationship but I know I'm not ready for one, you might not be either. Even though you want it. I have dealt with my own PTSD, nothing comparable to going to war but I know I became more mentally healthy after sorting out my past traumas we can say. Here's the thing about being human. We have the capacity to think rationally but mostly we think emotionally. Its why we monger or why people eat junk food or procrastinate their entire lives away. In our heads we know its wrong but we do it anyway because its our default setting to act out our impulses. I know you don't like to but you should think long and hard if this is what you truly want. For your sake and hers. Sex workers lives are hard enough. Being fluent in Spanish and a naturally observant person has given me insight into the dark side of Tijuana bar girls lives. I've seen and heard some heartbreaking stuff. Girls with cuts on their arms, the obvious drug abuse, girls being raped or murdered. We all know and hear about these things. From my conversations with hundreds of bar girls I can tell they don't like their jobs but they rationalize it in their heads and I believe it damages them in some way. I even hear this from men who do "pick up" in America and sleep with hundreds of girls or male pornstars. After so much emotionless sex it starts to mess with their heads. Your girl seems to be one of the better ones out there but after all these posts I would say break up with her. It all depends on what you want though, if she makes you happy then maybe that's all that matters. I'm just saying from a purely objective point of view, if you want a girl that's loyal and not interested in money then a bar girl or ex- bar girl isn't the best type of girl. Its a tough situation, we want a girl that looks like an instagram model but has perfect morals. Sounds too good to be true! But I'm sure girls like that are out there.

It seems you know exactly how I feel at this moment. I was thinking if I only met her before the club, but then again maybe she wouldn't know how to appreciate what I do for her as much. Also it is funny that she is a knockout with make up, but takes her over an hour to complete. I told her I like her for her personality and mind, but she also has many insecurities. Not sure if anyone has perfect morals on their journey through life. We want a quality lady, but also a freak in the sheets.

[Member #4730]

First, you had better make time. No relationship will survive if the couple can't communicate. You can't let your money talk and rely on body language any more. She may want to learn English, and she may be motivated, but you absolutely, positively, need to learn to communicate effectively in Spanish. This would hold true if she was a native Spanish speaker, or a Thai speaker, or German. Doesn't matter. Download Duolingo and stick with it. You won't learn overnight but you'll be surprised how much you can pick up in six months if you practice daily.

Second, and I recall this from a previous post in a different thread, never deliver an ultimatum, and never make the girl choose between you and something very important, like career or education. She was bending over backwards offering to relocate her school credits (or whatever they're called) to Tijuana in order to be closer to you. You responded that if she couldn't, then the relationship was over because you can't do distance. I have to take this at face value because I wasn't there. But it sounds incredibly self-centered. Essentially choose me or choose your education because I can't keep it in my pants longer than a couple of days. You really don't want to be the reason she gave up education and career. I know I could never live with myself. From her standpoint, if you care for her as much as it seems, if you have as much free time as you seem to (you visit Tijuana frequently), and if you have as much disposable income as you say, then it should be very easy to buy a are / T ticket from TIJ to GDL say twice a month. Leave on a Friday, return on a Sunday.

She seems genuine, from what you've posted. I hope things work out. I really do. But if you don't learn to be flexible (and dealing with Mexicans that's a necessity) then you'll wind up sabotaging the whole thing.

When I get free time, I'll try to learn the language. I was married to a Mexican for over 20 years and didn't learn much as too busy with trying to keep head above water with business and work. I still have to work with my CPA and file 2020 taxes, might hire a bookkeeper for $500 a month. I know myself and told her I could "help" her more if she was in Tijuana and understand I need to be more accommodating, but I think I'm offering her a lot as well. I told her to pursue what is best for her career and education. She said it should be easy to transfer, but she wouldn't know the professors or classmates as she does in her current university. I never told her to not complete the last year of school. The main reason I think she attracts me is that she has the "potential" to do something with her life.

Also we did get in a fight over the word "pay" and "help". She said I'm not paying her for her time, I'm "helping" her with expenses. What an ordeal having to deal with the miscommunication, but now I know she was livid when I said I pay her. I think you were the one that mentioned this is common in Mexico.

[Member #4730]

Exactly, time will tell. Trust but don't be blind. Only the best actors can pull off months and months of good behavior with out screwing something up. 2 weeks is honeymoon phase. 6 months. Now then you have some history and data to make better judgements on but just a few weeks. Way to soon to come to any conclusions. I say give a girl friend a long leash to see if she behaves and if she doesn't then you can get out and find someone better.

G.

It is a chica I met in July that was brutally honest when we first met. We've seen each other off and on since that time. I'm still wondering when the honeymoon phase ends and she starts to cuss me out when we are passing in the hallway. We've only lived together full time for past 2 weeks and it seems like it is making the relationship stronger as she appreciates my efforts and I appreciate what she does for me.