Stupid Shit in Tijuana

[Member #4730]

Okay, KB, other guys are telling you to break up with her, but part of the reason you are with her is that you have great chemistry and great sex. That is rare. Guys say someone is tried of fucking anyone even the greatest beauties but if you break up with her, you will see that sex with other women will not compare.

I know how you are. You have the money but you do not want to feel cheated. Again, that is a john mentality. If she is your woman, you want her to feel loved and cared for. All the guys calling you a sucker do not get it. When you spend money on the right woman, it is really not a cost but an investment that will pay you much more back.

But I will be honest that is not the problem. The problem is your insecurity, You are thinking you are not good enough. Why else would you go through her phone or cut her off or be making the comments about your ages? You do not have have the mind set that you are the best thing could have happened to her. Sure, in my case, the Venezuelan found another guy but she went through two years of hell before then, and something is still off with her.

What that 2 year period really was for me was a journey getting rid of my insecurities. I think the interesting thing was time and again I learned how getting a beautiful woman was nothing especially in the Latin world and how many were dead ass broke.

I have a stunning female friend who married and divorced a famous rock star. She showed me how many of her friends were so broke. I said she could go into any club and bang any rich guy. She said she could, but that rich guys were assholes and while they would fuck her that they would never introduce her to their parents. She banged athletes and found they were egotistical and lousy in bed, and I heard the same story from so many like her. I had so many hooker types tell me I was good in bed, and I just thought they were lying. Now I wondered, were they really?

You think your gal has so many options and she does but so many of them are terrible, unknown, and unsafe. In that two year period, I had three women say they loved me and showed me they did. The best one was the last one. She was more cute than hot but outside of that, she really had it all. When she told me I was the best lover she ever had, I actually believed her. A friend of hers made a comment on the 30 year difference in our ages. I told her if that was going to be a problem for her, I would find a woman where that was not a problem. She said in a scared voice it was not, and I never heard about the age thing again. Still, something was not right. I felt like there was still better out there.

I almost lost out on my current gal because I thought she was too good to be true, that she had to be running some kind of game but because at this point in my life, I was secure enough to think I was worthy of a woman like her, I was open to the fact that maybe, maybe she was not running a game. I almost blew it with the best woman I ever met because of my insecurity. That is what I am afraid of with you. When a hottie really is crazy about you, you think she has to be running a game.

But who knows? Maybe you need a 2 year journey to deal with your insecurities too. Maybe she is not the right one, but if you do break it off with her, just make sure it is not because of your petty insecurities. That is the part you will regret the most.

Thanks for sharing your experiences and she just does it for me. She is trying to compromise and deleted her business account and changing her number. I told her she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to, but she suggested it as an option to try to make things work. Also dating a sex worker or ex sex worker comes with their own set of challenges and she seems genuine as she should have walked out numerous times dealing with my insecurities and cutting support. I just feel either way if this relationship works or doesn't, I've come away from the experience with a better mindset and strangely turned me off from mongering.

I've been back to HK multiple times with no intentions of getting laid and I have no interest, as she rocked my world in the club. Like you've mentioned, it will be difficult to replicate with another. I've come to realize how blessed I am and how good of a place I am in life. It is sad that I had to go through all of this to find peace with myself. I even told her that I'm content and happy with everything in my life either with or without her. My issues may have seemed plentiful in a first world country, but pale in comparison to third world issues. I have a roof over my head, don't miss meals, and healthy.

I have no right to judge her for being a sex worker as I am complicit in my actions and she is just trying to survive and ensure her family is able to keep head above water. She took them on their first family vacation out of her hometown to Puerto Vallarta, got them a car so they could transport her abuela in case of emergency, trying to tile the barren floor in their home, add a new room for her little brother as she has to share a bedroom with him since home is small, renovate the kitchen without cabinet doors, and list goes on. She has good intentions and just trying to do the best she can with the limited resources. I could only imagine her life if she didn't have an abortion at 17 after being raped by her boyfriend. Most of her amigas have children with absent fathers and limited options to ensure their children are taken care of. Fucked up situation all around, but maybe I needed this to open my eyes.

[LuvMexicanas]

Exactly SMD. The clown is like a seagull. Drops in (Dramaqueef hasn't been in Tijuana for years), craps in the various threads and flies away. He's a joke just like the MDE poster that Blackthought previously mentioned. The worst part is he'll never man up and own the fact that he lied about being in Tijuana 20-30 times last year. I can already tell you his response: he gets all the girls and I get none. He'll also say he's living the dream and that it's just jealousy, which is pretty much what he says to anyone who calls out his lies. Finally, he'll mention how much fun he's having somewhere in Mexico and that he's killing it, but of course it won't be anywhere in or near Tijuana.

Yep, Dramaqueef checked every box on my prediction of how his response would go.

[LuvMexicanas]

L. Mudd you have all my contact information, but you leave that out of your reports. I am waiting for you in M. City. You keep spreading your crazy lies. You never say anything nice about anybody, you just complain, you are very rarely with a girl. Hopefully one day Admin will suspended you.

Why do you keep mentioning Mexico City? What the fuck is wrong with you? We're talking about Tijuana. I am rarely with a girl? The photo gallery contradicts your lying ass. You are a joke.

[Member #4730]

Not sure if any of this has helped. I do feel bad that the only people you can talk to about this are guys on this board, I was lucky to have a group of friends in Tijuana that were all in a similar situation to relate to and learn from.

One last thing if you really love her and want this to work I would think of surprising her and showing up for Christmas.

Good luck.

I do have my suspicions regarding the aunt, but she tells me that her aunt is the one that said to do what makes her happy. Also that she should pursue the relationship even though her 10 year marriage ended. She did have previous relationships back home and they involved the boyfriend cheating on her and she found out through the guys mother. She does want to get a visa so she can go on a cruise to Alaska with me later next year and even hinted at trying to start a nail and hair business.

The boyfriend back home would have to be a secret from the family as they seem to like me. I'm sure they would let me know if she was running game on me, especially the mother. Supposedly only 3 other guys have met her family. I work remotely and can pretty much set my schedule so we spend our times cooking, watching movies, going to movies, restaurants, etc. I'd definitely consider a prenup as the age gap marriages have high failure rate statistically. She did mention kids, but maybe in 5-8 years and I told her it isn't in my near term plans.

Like you mentioned, she did discuss the not meeting my family and friends last week and I'm not quite sure I want them to meet her just yet as the relationship has been strange to say the least. She has been great minus the trying to setup dates behind my back. I have my own family I want to spend Christmas with and I told her New Years is the best I can do. She mentioned her cousins asked if I was going to visit for Christmas and I told her I'll try to see her hometown next year. Also don't feel bad discussing this with other bros on the board as my friends are married and not sure they would understand this situation or probably tell me I'm crazy hehe.

[DramaFree11]

L. Mudd you have all my contact information, but you leave that out of your reports. I am waiting for you in M. City. You keep spreading your crazy lies. You never say anything nice about anybody, you just complain, you are very rarely with a girl. Hopefully one day Admin will suspended you.

[DramaFree11]

Okay, KB, other guys are telling you to break up with her, but part of the reason you are with her is that you have great chemistry and great sex. That is rare. Guys say someone is tried of fucking anyone even the greatest beauties but if you break up with her, you will see that sex with other women will not compare.

I dated and got engaged to a Venezuelan girl who was cute but when she took off her clothes, she may have had the best figure I have ever seen. Her ass was a work of art. So we broke it off, and the reason was the same as yours. She was hanging out with men looking to make more money. She was actually looking at trading more than selling her body, but it was kind of the same thing, inappropriate conversations and behaviors, and I cut her off and blasted her behavior. After I did that, she broke it off with me.

I was going to fly and meet her to try to win her back and could not do it. I wound up in Colombia versus where she lived in Peru. I was determined to find someone as hot as her, and no one I found could match her. Finally, a year later I bedded a Venezuelan in Mexico who was more than her equal looks wise and in bed, but I felt like she was an out and out ho. I used seeking.com and bedded even more beauties but there was always something off: too greedy, too stupid, too crass. Finally, after 2 years of looking, I found someone better in bed, more striking, and way nicer. The hardest part to get was that my Venezuelan gal really loved me. The sex was easily replaced, the looks, compatibility, and intelligence were harder still, but the hardest was the love, real love that is not faked...

Elvis you are correct in many of your points, but is time for these 2 to break up and deal with there jealousy and other issues.

[LuvMexicanas]

You seem to be a Drama Freak11 in many threads all over this board.

Exactly SMD. The clown is like a seagull. Drops in (Dramaqueef hasn't been in Tijuana for years), craps in the various threads and flies away. He's a joke just like the MDE poster that Blackthought previously mentioned. The worst part is he'll never man up and own the fact that he lied about being in Tijuana 20-30 times last year. I can already tell you his response: he gets all the girls and I get none. He'll also say he's living the dream and that it's just jealousy, which is pretty much what he says to anyone who calls out his lies. Finally, he'll mention how much fun he's having somewhere in Mexico and that he's killing it, but of course it won't be anywhere in or near Tijuana.

[DramaFree11]

The writings on the wall for you KB. I have told you this before but you should break up with this girl. Everyone else I'm sure agrees. At this point I don't think you are going to listen to reason. If any relationship caused me this much drama I would have walked away, especially one that's a few months old. Cut your losses and move on. A blind man could see this is a bad situation. I was really rooting for you too but just being purely objective here. Theres new girls at the bars everyday. I'm sure you can find one that doesn't cause this much headache, or better yet a non working girl. If you're posting this for us to give you advice guidance than this is it. Break it off. This relationship is bad for your health and wallet. But I don't think you are going to listen.

Yep, he should have done this months ago.

[LuvMexicanas]

You don't speak Spanish. You know Jack shit about Mexico or Mexicans. Ever hear the expression: one born every minute. Ever think it might apply to you?

Go watch Born on the Fourth of July, the Mexican hooker scenes in particular. Mexico is the land of machism and you imagine made Mexicans treat a Tijuana hooker like the Virgin of Guadalupe. Estas pero si bien pendejo.

This is exactly right, especially the final sentence.

[Elvis 2008]

I agree life is short and glad I didn't die this year when I totaled my truck. I pay her $600 per month, food, and rent. When I found the chats of her trying to setup dates, then it changed things slightly, but I told her I understood her predicament since she asked me if I could help her with family issues. I declined those requests and always think how she will help the family when I decline offering assistance. Now I know, she is put in between a rock and hard place since she doesn't "work". I always told her to let me know if the relationship isn't right for her at this time in her life as she is young and I don't want to feel like I'm taking the best years of her life.

Okay, KB, other guys are telling you to break up with her, but part of the reason you are with her is that you have great chemistry and great sex. That is rare. Guys say someone is tried of fucking anyone even the greatest beauties but if you break up with her, you will see that sex with other women will not compare.

I dated and got engaged to a Venezuelan girl who was cute but when she took off her clothes, she may have had the best figure I have ever seen. Her ass was a work of art. So we broke it off, and the reason was the same as yours. She was hanging out with men looking to make more money. She was actually looking at trading more than selling her body, but it was kind of the same thing, inappropriate conversations and behaviors, and I cut her off and blasted her behavior. After I did that, she broke it off with me.

I was going to fly and meet her to try to win her back and could not do it. I wound up in Colombia versus where she lived in Peru. I was determined to find someone as hot as her, and no one I found could match her. Finally, a year later I bedded a Venezuelan in Mexico who was more than her equal looks wise and in bed, but I felt like she was an out and out ho. I used seeking.com and bedded even more beauties but there was always something off: too greedy, too stupid, too crass. Finally, after 2 years of looking, I found someone better in bed, more striking, and way nicer. The hardest part to get was that my Venezuelan gal really loved me. The sex was easily replaced, the looks, compatibility, and intelligence were harder still, but the hardest was the love, real love that is not faked.

I am glad that things did not work out with the Venezuelan gal. I just do not like the knee jerk, screaming response I had when seeing she was hanging with another guy and she lied about it. She needed more money than I was giving her, and she was doing what she had to do. I should have been more understanding than enraged. I have no regrets that we broke up just about how I reacted. Cutting a woman off money wise is a john move, and like you, I did it.

So she tried the currency trading and failed as I predicted. I told her that she would look at all her options, see that finding another guy was best and go back and hook up with a rich guy, and she did. The new guy is more generous than me, and that is what I meant when you say you get to pay for her. Would another guy pay more for being with her than you would? If so, you are getting a bargain.

I know how you are. You have the money but you do not want to feel cheated. Again, that is a john mentality. If she is your woman, you want her to feel loved and cared for. All the guys calling you a sucker do not get it. When you spend money on the right woman, it is really not a cost but an investment that will pay you much more back.

But I will be honest that is not the problem. The problem is your insecurity, You are thinking you are not good enough. Why else would you go through her phone or cut her off or be making the comments about your ages? You do not have have the mind set that you are the best thing could have happened to her. Sure, in my case, the Venezuelan found another guy but she went through two years of hell before then, and something is still off with her.

What that 2 year period really was for me was a journey getting rid of my insecurities. I think the interesting thing was time and again I learned how getting a beautiful woman was nothing especially in the Latin world and how many were dead ass broke.

I have a stunning female friend who married and divorced a famous rock star. She showed me how many of her friends were so broke. I said she could go into any club and bang any rich guy. She said she could, but that rich guys were assholes and while they would fuck her that they would never introduce her to their parents. She banged athletes and found they were egotistical and lousy in bed, and I heard the same story from so many like her. I had so many hooker types tell me I was good in bed, and I just thought they were lying. Now I wondered, were they really?

You think your gal has so many options and she does but so many of them are terrible, unknown, and unsafe. In that two year period, I had three women say they loved me and showed me they did. The best one was the last one. She was more cute than hot but outside of that, she really had it all. When she told me I was the best lover she ever had, I actually believed her. A friend of hers made a comment on the 30 year difference in our ages. I told her if that was going to be a problem for her, I would find a woman where that was not a problem. She said in a scared voice it was not, and I never heard about the age thing again. Still, something was not right. I felt like there was still better out there.

I almost lost out on my current gal because I thought she was too good to be true, that she had to be running some kind of game but because at this point in my life, I was secure enough to think I was worthy of a woman like her, I was open to the fact that maybe, maybe she was not running a game. I almost blew it with the best woman I ever met because of my insecurity. That is what I am afraid of with you. When a hottie really is crazy about you, you think she has to be running a game.

But who knows? Maybe you need a 2 year journey to deal with your insecurities too. Maybe she is not the right one, but if you do break it off with her, just make sure it is not because of your petty insecurities. That is the part you will regret the most.

[Big Magick]

The writings on the wall for you KB. I have told you this before but you should break up with this girl. Everyone else I'm sure agrees. At this point I don't think you are going to listen to reason. If any relationship caused me this much drama I would have walked away, especially one that's a few months old. Cut your losses and move on. A blind man could see this is a bad situation. I was really rooting for you too but just being purely objective here. Theres new girls at the bars everyday. I'm sure you can find one that doesn't cause this much headache, or better yet a non working girl. If you're posting this for us to give you advice guidance than this is it. Break it off. This relationship is bad for your health and wallet. But I don't think you are going to listen.

[Sol12]

We have another month in Tijuana after the trip and she is going to try private university route for transfer. If not, then I might be traveling once a month to her hometown. Not sure what other concerns you can think of, but would appreciate it since you might have been through similar situation. One time she wanted to see my WhatsApp of the regular I was seeing to make sure it wasn't one of her friends and she said "she is ugly" and promptly deleted the contact from my phone. She was visibly upset and not sure what to make of it. She wants me to visit her hometown so maybe in Feb.

Also with as much psychological shit Ive put her through, she should have walked numerous times. One time I was halfway out the door and she pulled me back and then the other time she was packing her shit and I told her not to leave. I told her Id cancel the trip numerous times all the way back until October. She said she didnt care about the trip and could go by herself in the future if this relationship didnt work out. The most recent fight, which involved me violating her privacy and seeing the WhatsApp texts, she said she still wants to go on the trip with me and wants to make it work.

Well the first thing is that she has an aunt that worked in Tijuana and had a man leave her. Since the aunt has her ear I wonder if the aunt tells her to make as much money as possible while she is young because once she is older she will be thrown away since guys are always looking for younger girls. Or she wants to find an American to marry since the laws are more in the woman's favor if the guy decides to leave. It seems that she has hinted at wanting to get married or live in the US a couple of times from things you have posted. In another thread you mentioned about not sure how she would get a Visa. So seems like this has been talked about with her. For that I have a lot of experience if you need it.

The second concern I have is more of things that have been talked about on many boards before that I was on just talking about Tijuana. Many talk of girls having their true love usually still living in their home town. It seems odd she would be completely alone at 17 and not have a boyfriend that she was with. When girls are at that age and in love it's hard for them to get over it. So she could be working in Tijuana and helping him until they can be together again. Now I don't know how hard it is to transfer schools in Mexico but seems like she is apprehensive to leave.

Unfortunately my personal experience is much different than yours and when I read of your situation the only thing that I really relate to is just giving up your life in the US to live in Tijuana. The relationship stuff is a lot of people I have known that lived or married bar girls or how friends of my ex would treat guys. Also being able to speak the language helps a relationship and since your girl doesn't have a kid I wonder how you spend most of your time since you don't seem to have a normal job that you go to each day, so the both of you AR stuck at home together for long periods of time and I just wonder if you both enjoy it or if you or her find yourselves trying to find reasons to leave the apartment from time to time just to getaway.

I've said it many times that nothing any of us say should matter as every situation is different and those if us that have read your whole story are aware that you didn't go looking for this to happen it just did. If you really love her and want this just do what you can but don't give up all your money to win her, and if you get married you need a prenup. Had a buddy that had money and he was smart so when she left just after them getting married he wasn't out very much.

Now in her defense I'd say you've been unfair to her in some ways especially not making any effort to have her me t family or friends of yours. In her mind I would think she wonders if you are really married or you are ashamed of her and she's not good enough for you to meet your family.

Not sure if any of this has helped. I do feel bad that the only people you can talk to about this are guys on this board, I was lucky to have a group of friends in Tijuana that were all in a similar situation to relate to and learn from.

One last thing if you really love her and want this to work I would think of surprising her and showing up for Christmas.

Good luck.

[BlackThought]

She is funding her parent's home renovation, paid off a cousins credit card, paying for her school, and helping out an aunt that is working in the USA I told her this relationship might not be the right time in her life, but she reassures me this is what she wants. Time will only tell

I highly doubt a chica making $500/ night at HK club would be fine with $600/ month, that's absurd. I agree with drama, $500/ night *260 work days = $130 k. Why would she settle with a man twice her age for $7,200/ year. Based on what I've seen at the club, most guys are not taking the girls for arriba.

[Member #4730]

When I was hanging out at HK there were very few girls making $500 a night, on the weekend, maybe. During the week it can be tough for those girls, How would not believe that for a second. If she was truly making that kind of money why is she broke now?

She is funding her parent's home renovation, paid off a cousins credit card, paying for her school, and helping out an aunt that is working in the USA I told her this relationship might not be the right time in her life, but she reassures me this is what she wants. Time will only tell…

[Member #4730]

I do not think anyone cares where you met her. We are all guilty of the same thing. Unless you guys quit the game playing, end the jealousy and stop asking her about the past it will never work. When I was living in Ukraine and spending time in Russia, people always talked about moving forward in life and not focus on the past. We as Americans live in the past, especially American women. The past is the past, who cares. Let it go.

It is the reason I'm trying to move forward and make it "work". She said she deleted her WhatsApp business acct. And getting a new number. We will see in the coming months how things unfold. I already know I have 2 variables that are working against me and that is the age gap and dating an ex sex worker.