Stupid Shit in the Philippines

[PedroMorales]

The can, they use instant coffee. Why in a counry that actually grows pretty good coffee, is a good cup of the stuff hard to get and pretty expensive. Coffee costs more than a beer WTF?

When British and US forces crossed the Rhine in 1945, the Yanks were amazed to see the Brits stop to brew up some tea. The Yanks didn't get it. One always brings one's tea to a gun fight. As someone who yaps about Afghanistan all the time, you should know that. The Taliban lads like their brew. We are not talking about the-Hong Pao Tea, which is a snip $1.2 million a kilo (tell your opium mates to check those prices) or even the more modest PG Tips Diamond Tea Bag, which goes at $15,000 a tea bag.

That brings me to the Philippines, which has no polo (Nigeria does) or even Buzkashi (have you tried it? They generally serve up ready to go junk, though freshly brewed coffee would be widely available for Yanks with $$. Top Japanese hotels make British tea (cheap bags + sugar + milk) avaiialble to touring Brits at about $40 a quick cup. This is in the same bracket as London's famous Dorchster charges for the whole harry Potter works.

The moral of the story is apples and oranges, or tea and coffee if you prefer. The "coffee" on offer suits the clientele, those little combination bags, where coffee, sugar and "cream" are all in the one bag. Not the type of fare the Saudi princes indulge in. I have stayed in places in Angeles where free freshly or not so freshly brewed coffee was on tap but one does not go there for the coffee or tea.

[Engine Driver]

Please do not post such pics on this forum. These are little kids and this is an adult forum.

I request the moderator to please delete this post too.

Oh righteous one.

There is nothing sexual about those photos you fucking idiot. They are general community / medical type pictures which were found freely on the internet. Even blind Freddy could see that. Please go back into the cave where you came from.

It's like bare breasted PNG women. There is nothing sexual about them. We studied PNG in school and those bare breasts were in elementary school text books.

I should cross refer your post to the Stupid Mongers in the Philippines thread. You definitely take this week's award for being the most stupid monger by a long way.

[NewInPune]

Please do not post such pics on this forum. These are little kids and this is an adult forum.

I request the moderator to please delete this post too.

This chick asked me if I wanted to have a free circumcision done at the open day at her barangay. I looked it up and it seems like a carnival. I wonder if the pagpag seller collects all the foreskins to roast into delicious crackling? The pinoys have tiny micro dicks, so I hope the nurse takes care with the knife!

[PilotPaul]

Coffee costs more than a beer WTF?

You do know that's why Ph is popular. No sin taxes.

I'm a coffee snob professional. I don't think that PH grows an significant amount of reputable coffee. They have.

The rainfall. Check.

The poverty. Check.

But not the. Altitude.

PP.

[Kabul Guy]

Those Flips in the kitchen can't fuck up black coffee too badly. The boiling water will kill most of the bugs.

....

The can, they use instant coffee. Why in a counry that actually grows pretty good coffee, is a good cup of the stuff hard to get and pretty expensive. Coffee costs more than a beer WTF?

[Engine Driver]

Good rule of thumb, if you get it hot, eat it while still hot you will be OK.

I am either very lucky or have a cast iron gut, but the only time I was really sick from eating in a restaurant was at a Best Western in Minot ND more than 30 years ago. That includes time in many years in post conflict zones (it was called a post conflict zone but at one time had well over 100,000 troops in it) and countries specifically referred to by the POTUS as "shithole" countries.

Those Flips in the kitchen can't fuck up black coffee too badly. The boiling water will kill most of the bugs.

GE must be a very patient man to run a Michelin starred, fine dining French restaurant in that backwater in Mindanao. Even teaching the workers to starch and fold white linen napkins would send me nuts.

[Kabul Guy]

If you have it on video, contact https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsE...h84mw/featured who would no doubt praise you for following veterans' advice and staying out of the salami factory. You have gone up a notch in my rating.

....

I just watched a couple of those video's.

I like the Rules of Stupid.

Don't go stupid places.

Where there are stupid people.

At stupid times.

Something I have tried to follow but it was nicely and succinctly stated.

It really applies in this country where stupid places and stupid people abound and stupid times expand to fill a large part of the day.

If stupid shit like I watched can happen in a rural area of a sleepy province at 8 AM, you really need to be very careful after the bars close in a major city. The incident ended relatively peacefully, the cops were armed but no guns came into play. All it would have taken would have been the fat fuck trying to grab or a cop believing that he was trying to grab a gun and the fecal material would have hit the rotating air moving device.

Watching a guy get a couple well deserved shots with a night stick is one thing, watching someone getting a couple shots of 9 mm is something I really do not want to see again.

[Kabul Guy]

Thanks for sharing. You really cannot make that kind of shit up. Classic PH. And the story is just the beginning.

Next chapter.

Fat guy's Filipina wife is called to station. She argues and pays (again) to get him out of trouble.

When his life savings are depleted she leaves him.

Alternate ending.

He was drink at 8 AM because he was broke and she had already left him, he found out when he came home and found her fucking the trike driver and the blue note he left on the bar was his last peso.

Too bad he doesn't have a bike to sell for airfare home any more.

[Kabul Guy]

...

On a serious culinary note: I find omelettes and black coffee are good choices in dodgy food land. I go to a very dodgy area on a regular basis, .....

Good rule of thumb, if you get it hot, eat it while still hot you will be OK.

I am either very lucky or have a cast iron gut, but the only time I was really sick from eating in a restaurant was at a Best Western in Minot ND more than 30 years ago. That includes time in many years in post conflict zones (it was called a post conflict zone but at one time had well over 100,000 troops in it) and countries specifically referred to by the POTUS as "shithole" countries.

[Nice Guy 99]

Cops leave, dog catchers leave, dog owner notices bike in ditch with keys in it and steals the bike.

Classic! (needs ten more characters to post. Sigh).

[PilotPaul]

Cops leave, dog catchers leave, dog owner notices bike in ditch with keys in it and steals the bike..

Thanks for sharing. You really cannot make that kind of shit up. Classic PH. And the story is just the beginning.

Next chapter.

Fat guy's Filipina wife is called to station. She argues and pays (again) to get him out of trouble.

When his life savings are depleted she leaves him.

[PedroMorales]

I thought of putting this in the stupid monger thread, but I am not sure if the guy was a monger or not. His actions were not directly monger related. It really is more fun in the Philippines.

If you have it on video, contact https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsE...h84mw/featured who would no doubt praise you for following veterans' advice and staying out of the salami factory. You have gone up a notch in my rating.

On a serious culinary note: I find omelettes and black coffee are good choices in dodgy food land. I go to a very dodgy area on a regular basis, usually staying in top hotels but the water can be a killer and I don't like pills. I have actually been caught short on occasion though no fault of my own. I found switching to omelettes and laying off the extras (olives, jams, breads, anything remotely liquid or that has been washed) was a big help. Black tea works well too. An airline hostess I bonk on a regular basis (P4P) tells me never to drink tea or coffee on planes as the water sucks. As regards Pinoy land, "cooks" smoking cigarettes, stoves beside toilets and the mice and rats playing Texas Hold them as the Korean babrs back their favourite furries.

[Kabul Guy]

I thought of putting this in the stupid monger thread, but I am not sure if the guy was a monger or not. His actions were not directly monger related.

I am sitting in a local restaurant, it is on a side road, paved with some traffic but not on the main highways here. It is just after 8 AM an I am having breakfast.

A fat foreigner pulls up on a bike, I don't know how the 125 CC engine could move all that weight let alone how the shocks supported it. He is obviously drunk, sits down at a table orders 2 beers and two shots. I don't know what his story is and really don't care to find out.

A local government truck pulls up, it is a local dog catching action, they start rounding up a bunch of mutts putting them in a cage that already has a few dogs in it. A local dog owner starts arguing with the guys, the argument escalates and lots of shouting and arms waving.

Great I think, I will see a fight while eating my omelet.

I don't know if the staff called them or they were just passing by but a police car stops. The officers get out, more shouting and arm waving. This is becoming the most interesting breakfast in a while. They are right in front of the restaurant. Blocking the road as the cops stopped right in the middle of the road.

Right in the middle of this, fat foreigner decides to leave, after the beer and shots he can hardly walk, he leaves a blue note on the table and staggers to his bike. The police notice this and the arguments stops as the dog catchers, dog owner and police all stop and watch drunk idiot get on his bike. Or I should say tries, he missed the first couple of attempts.

Finally, he is on the bike, starts it and drives out onto the road, just misses one cop who grabs his arm, pulling him of the bike, bike runs into ditch. Drunk idiot tries to take a swing at the cop. Both cops pile on and deliver a few good hits. Cuffs go on and with the help of the dog catchers the guy gets put into the back of the police car.

Cops leave, dog catchers leave, dog owner notices bike in ditch with keys in it and steals the bike.

It really is more fun in the Philippines.

[Engine Driver]

Dear Moderator,

I thought I was the moderator of this thread. How can you keep overriding me? Please explain. Hahahaha.

I like the thread to be free for all. That is, no moderation. Hahahaha.

[PedroMorales]

You are not trying hard enough. Ph offers all of the things that your imagination can offer without it getting into your home soil domain.

Want to fuck a girl upside down in a cupboard, just ask. Want the royal treatment from landing to departure, just ask. Want the girl, her cousins and her mum, just ask.

When I visited Siargao the surfing place, there were filipina that surf and fuck. If that's your thing. There are adventurous girls that love travel and love guys. Just ask. Find the experiences that float your boat.

Your profile and posting history shows you have been monitoring and engaging with the Ph forum. It's time for you to Level Up. Raise your expectations well above your first four bareback encounters.

PP.

Thank you for opining. I have been to the Phils on numerous occasions. I have done the stretched limo thing (but not with a hooker as no crass.) My surfing days are done and, therein, you make a relevant, if implicit point. Young surf birds want to be with young surf guys, not guys who want their 8 hours' sleep and who prefer to pass on the Vitamin V. When we get older, we must change pace, just as Frank Sinatra did with his voice as he got older. I think Botox guys, like that Beatles' chappie, look really awful. Glow old glacefully.

I am gearing up to move into the bocce league and a nice Castello di Neive Barbaresco to round off the day. That, complete with cannoli and a freshly pressed Canali shirt is the wheel of life we must accept. I like going to such things and complaining about "the youth of today".

Here too we can moan about the mongers of today. All I want is to have my penis serviced and to avoid troublesome tlike dlivers and laundly hands. There is something pleasurable in putting my penis into its 10,089th vagina but, at this stage, not much novel about it. Hollywood has only three plots and Pretty Woman is one of them.

I do not want to go to the Phils to find a pint sized bargain basement Pletty Woman, although I could see the funny side of introducing her to my bocce buddies.

This thread is on Stupid Mongers in the Philippines. Maybe like las Vegas or Thailand, it is, at heart, quite simple. If you are a casual player, it is fine. If you think a babe in a brothel is a prize worth striving for, you have already lost the fight. Who knows? They will still be arguing this stuff long after we surf out.