Thread: Seeking Arrangements
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01-07-21 15:57 #1367
Posts: 2793Originally Posted by CarloRogue [View Original Post]
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01-07-21 05:18 #1366
Posts: 53Originally Posted by Steve9696 [View Original Post]
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01-06-21 04:08 #1365
Posts: 101Thanks
Folks. Thanks for all your insights. This is what makes this forum awesome, learn from collective wisdom of each other.
Originally Posted by Akibono [View Original Post]
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01-06-21 01:09 #1364
Posts: 2698Recent Date SA Fail
Lest you think all my SA dates are fruitful let me share the most interesting fail that happened recently. The moral of the story is if you feel like the chemistry is off a bit youre right. It's just not there and forcing it doesn't help.
So recall I had the closed mouth kiss with Arianna to end the night. But by text she assures me she's a passionate girl just shy at first. We agree to meetup again and I use the same line I used with Sarah "expand on that kiss" and she seems down to do so.
We meet at a little dive bar and have some snacks and drinks. Her drink is not very good and she's not drinking much but I am throwing them back. She's again awkward and shy and I am pretty sure this is going nowhere. Again in direct mode I say "I find you confusing. Your a really nice girl but I'm afraid we have no chemistry. We could do one of two things. Go to your car and make out and see or go to a hotel and make out and see. " She says she's on her period. I say that's ok we can figure fun without that. She says ok let's go to the hotel. I was really surprised.
So I book a last minute booking and we are in the room 10 minutes later. She's got a headache and doesn't want to drink (so her shields remain high). I'll spare the gory details but the kissing is pretty lame but I keep working some game. Eventually it's clear I am down for a BJ but she literally says "I don't give blowjobs". And I tell her that's super odd because I've never been with a girl that didn't. Again Long story short she eventually blows me and it's a very good BBBJ. But like totally without life or passion or chemistry. I bless her with a hot load in her mouth regardless because her technique is excellent. But it's just weird. Like being blown by your sister as a favor or something.
I did CashApp her some $$ which seems only fair but Next day we agree the chemistry is not there and move on. But frankly on very good terms. Like we gave it a go and good luck finding ur thing.
Oh well can't win them all. A few takeaways:
1. Awesome text vibe does not always lead to awesome in person vibe. Tho I still think its a leading indicator.
2. If u think the chemistry is off it probably is. But that doesnt mean I wont get off. Mixed results here recall I bedded Jesse right after she said I cant have sex with a guy I just met and it was passionate. And I managed to eek out a BJ here but mechanical.
3. Sex without passion just aint that great (for me)
4. When something feels off just say It. U can work thru it.
5. A fail doesnt have to be nasty. It can be a friendly fail.
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01-04-21 07:53 #1363
Posts: 1161Originally Posted by Luminous [View Original Post]
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01-04-21 02:38 #1362
Posts: 2793Originally Posted by AmericanPi [View Original Post]
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01-03-21 21:17 #1361
Posts: 585Originally Posted by Steve9696 [View Original Post]
I personally have not jumped in the SA game yet (waiting to be vaccinated), but I do lurk on SA to see what is out there and fantasize about how I'll play that game. And I'll say I'm actually impressed with how transparent many women are. Many are totally open saying that they are looking for online only relationships, or in person but no sex, or even "no guarantees but let's see where this goes" (IE "I'm maintaining the power in this relationship." To me, that would be a hard and immediate pass, absolutely no interest in engaging, but I do respect how they set their boundaries up front so you can not waste your time.
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01-03-21 17:44 #1360
Posts: 3202Originally Posted by Luminous [View Original Post]
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01-03-21 17:11 #1359
Posts: 2793Steve9696 hit the nail on the head. She is asking for compensation for coffee. This is a huge red flag in my book. My general rule is not to hand over any cash until after we have sealed our arrangement. It's the fairest way.
Cut bait and pull up some other fish.
Run. I had an issue with this over the weekend. We agreed if there was connection, we would start an arrangement after we had drinks. She was nice, but did not dress up for the meeting and I was just not that attracted to her physically. I agreed to meet a second time, I offered to pay for her Uber. She declined then asked for money, I walked off. She later begged for Uber fair.
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01-03-21 16:20 #1358
Posts: 53Originally Posted by Luminous [View Original Post]
- She's establishing the conditions and setting up the coffee date, and you have no frame (that's why you're asking the board what to do). The relationship, should there ever be one, would be lop-sided and inverted. As the pickup community would say, you need to establish your frame.
- Never discuss anything transactional on SA, even if she brings it up first and even if it is indirect. I would delete the thread and block her, so the moderators can't pin it on you in any way. Personally, I don't even exchange such details on a burner phone. Only in person, but that's just me and I know others are less risk averse.
- If you're looking for a genuine GND that likes older men, as I am, these types never bring up compensation in advance of a meeting, and usually let you take the lead.
- Her grammar sucks. She wrote a run-on sentence without punctuation, meaning she spent no time on it and doesn't care how it comes across. In effect, she doesn't value you and she's not trying to prove her worth. Or, her education is lacking. Either way, it's one of my flags. Not a hard & fast one, and if she had other compensating qualities, I can look past it, but in an environment of abundance, it's usually a disqualifier for me.
- On a slightly positive note, I do like coffee dates for a first meet (but uncompensated of course). If a girl asks for a fancy dinner on the first meet, it indicates a bit of sharkiness and materialism. But back to the first bullet, the man needs to set the date.
CR.
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01-03-21 15:04 #1357
Posts: 164Don't waste your time
Originally Posted by Luminous [View Original Post]
Cut bait and pull up some other fish.
02.
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01-03-21 14:34 #1356
Posts: 30Originally Posted by Forgotten68 [View Original Post]
Originally Posted by Luminous [View Original Post]
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01-03-21 14:29 #1355
Posts: 2698Run Away
Originally Posted by Luminous [View Original Post]
Longer answer is why did she even ask this? What did U say that make her think you are offering money for sex because this should never happen. The discussion should never get this explicit. Also is this discussion on SA or have you gone to text? I don't think I've ever had a discussion about a meetup right on SA. We always chat enough and get comfortable and go offline.
Easy thing is just ghost her. I guarantee she is not worth your time with that kind of dialog.
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01-03-21 13:22 #1354
Posts: 101Opinion
Folks -- Need your opinion. Here is the message I received from a chick on SA.
"I don't have sex for money to meet up have coffee you can help me with my bills and we can see where it goes".
What do you think? Should I invest anything with the hope it may lead to something in the future?
My gut is to pass as it likely is just a carrot being dangled with no intention of sex in the future but wanted to get thoughts of the experienced members on this board.
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01-03-21 04:08 #1353
Posts: 2964Happy New Year to you, too.
I haven't explored the Montreal sugar scene. There are just so many escorts I want to see there in the $200-$300 Canadian dollar range, and so little time when I am there, that it never makes sense. I just emailed an escort there today to say Hello,. I probably wasted her time, but she was nice about it. I just wanted to get her in my contacts for when travel to Montreal is doable again.
I guess Seeking is so firmly entrenched in its position that it is not part of the sex work industry that it does not feel the need to go offshore. A great number of the USA Independent escorts I see now have Netherlands websites, so it certainly is the trend.
There was one USA Escort I follow on Twitter who got irritated at the perceived superiority of one of her Seeking friends and tweeted about showing her the posts she found online with a link to the Seeking profile that detailed the Seeking lady's prices and services. I found it amusing.
Time will tell if the publicity and those types of public posts ever create problems. It is certainly a different system than anything else, so who knows. Seeking doesn't ever seem to cross the line that the USA Government will argue in the Backpage case (if it ever goes to trial) that can't be crossed. Backpage allegedly would tell a customer whose ad was rejected due to solicitation concerns as to how to compose an acceptable ad. Seeking just kicks people off.
Originally Posted by WyattEarp [View Original Post]