Seeking Arrangements

[DramaFree11]

This is one reason I avoid extended text messaging, and get right to the meet & greet as soon as possible. It's the only way to gauge chemistry, and that's essential to me as well, if you're into real sugar dating. A bit of flirtatious text banter ahead of the meet can help set the right mood for the date (as long as you can do it without sounding like a creep), but real girls want to meet, and there's simply no substitute for the short range exchange of pheromones. Incidentally, the hotter the girl, the quickest your close to in-person date needs to be, from my experience -they're just in too much demand for prolonged courtship, no matter how special you think you are. Where I differ is, if the connection isn't there, and sometimes it just isn't, I don't push it. I prefer things to develop organically. But otherwise, I agree that missed connections are best ended with a polite smile and a genuine thank you. Karma will reward you eventually.

Yep, I do the same. Since I am primarily dealing with girls in MTY, I convert them to WhatsApp as soon as possible. The girls that are actually interested with switch, the others have many excuse why they will not, those are usually scammers, 85%. Everyone is on WhatsApp in Mexico now.

[CarloRogue]

A few takeaways:

1. Awesome text vibe does not always lead to awesome in person vibe. Tho I still think its a leading indicator.
2. If u think the chemistry is off it probably is. But that doesnt mean I wont get off. Mixed results here recall I bedded Jesse right after she said I cant have sex with a guy I just met and it was passionate. And I managed to eek out a BJ here but mechanical.
3. Sex without passion just aint that great (for me)
4. When something feels off just say It. U can work thru it.
5. A fail doesnt have to be nasty. It can be a friendly fail.

This is one reason I avoid extended text messaging, and get right to the meet & greet as soon as possible. It's the only way to gauge chemistry, and that's essential to me as well, if you're into real sugar dating. A bit of flirtatious text banter ahead of the meet can help set the right mood for the date (as long as you can do it without sounding like a creep), but real girls want to meet, and there's simply no substitute for the short range exchange of pheromones. Incidentally, the hotter the girl, the quickest your close to in-person date needs to be, from my experience -they're just in too much demand for prolonged courtship, no matter how special you think you are. Where I differ is, if the connection isn't there, and sometimes it just isn't, I don't push it. I prefer things to develop organically. But otherwise, I agree that missed connections are best ended with a polite smile and a genuine thank you. Karma will reward you eventually.

[Luminous]

Folks. Thanks for all your insights. This is what makes this forum awesome, learn from collective wisdom of each other.

The whole idea of the pay for play scheme is to have as close to a sure thing as possible. If you are back to a traditional dating scheme where you only get sex if she deems you are worthy, you might as well go back to ordinary dating. These gals get hundreds of hits, and there are enough fools to pay in the hopes of success that your chance of success is 1%. As it stands, you are going to have to throw a bit of money out there just to play. No reason or logic in paying for the hopes of getting something. Steve is exactly right. Move on.

[Steve 9696]

Lest you think all my SA dates are fruitful let me share the most interesting fail that happened recently. The moral of the story is if you feel like the chemistry is off a bit youre right. It's just not there and forcing it doesn't help.

So recall I had the closed mouth kiss with Arianna to end the night. But by text she assures me she's a passionate girl just shy at first. We agree to meetup again and I use the same line I used with Sarah "expand on that kiss" and she seems down to do so.

We meet at a little dive bar and have some snacks and drinks. Her drink is not very good and she's not drinking much but I am throwing them back. She's again awkward and shy and I am pretty sure this is going nowhere. Again in direct mode I say "I find you confusing. Your a really nice girl but I'm afraid we have no chemistry. We could do one of two things. Go to your car and make out and see or go to a hotel and make out and see. " She says she's on her period. I say that's ok we can figure fun without that. She says ok let's go to the hotel. I was really surprised.

So I book a last minute booking and we are in the room 10 minutes later. She's got a headache and doesn't want to drink (so her shields remain high). I'll spare the gory details but the kissing is pretty lame but I keep working some game. Eventually it's clear I am down for a BJ but she literally says "I don't give blowjobs". And I tell her that's super odd because I've never been with a girl that didn't. Again Long story short she eventually blows me and it's a very good BBBJ. But like totally without life or passion or chemistry. I bless her with a hot load in her mouth regardless because her technique is excellent. But it's just weird. Like being blown by your sister as a favor or something.

I did CashApp her some $$ which seems only fair but Next day we agree the chemistry is not there and move on. But frankly on very good terms. Like we gave it a go and good luck finding ur thing.

Oh well can't win them all. A few takeaways:

1. Awesome text vibe does not always lead to awesome in person vibe. Tho I still think its a leading indicator.
2. If u think the chemistry is off it probably is. But that doesnt mean I wont get off. Mixed results here recall I bedded Jesse right after she said I cant have sex with a guy I just met and it was passionate. And I managed to eek out a BJ here but mechanical.
3. Sex without passion just aint that great (for me)
4. When something feels off just say It. U can work thru it.
5. A fail doesnt have to be nasty. It can be a friendly fail.

[Akibono]

Folks -- Need your opinion. Here is the message I received from a chick on SA.

"I don't have sex for money to meet up have coffee you can help me with my bills and we can see where it goes".

What do you think? Should I invest anything with the hope it may lead to something in the future?

My gut is to pass as it likely is just a carrot being dangled with no intention of sex in the future but wanted to get thoughts of the experienced members on this board.

The whole idea of the pay for play scheme is to have as close to a sure thing as possible. If you are back to a traditional dating scheme where you only get sex if she deems you are worthy, you might as well go back to ordinary dating. These gals get hundreds of hits, and there are enough fools to pay in the hopes of success that your chance of success is 1%. As it stands, you are going to have to throw a bit of money out there just to play. No reason or logic in paying for the hopes of getting something. Steve is exactly right. Move on.

[DramaFree11]

Steve is, as is usual, totally right.

I personally have not jumped in the SA game yet (waiting to be vaccinated), but I do lurk on SA to see what is out there and fantasize about how I'll play that game. And I'll say I'm actually impressed with how transparent many women are. Many are totally open saying that they are looking for online only relationships, or in person but no sex, or even "no guarantees but let's see where this goes" (IE "I'm maintaining the power in this relationship." To me, that would be a hard and immediate pass, absolutely no interest in engaging, but I do respect how they set their boundaries up front so you can not waste your time.

On-line is totally a no go. Big waste of time. They are also going to ask for an allowance, Hell no, get a Life Coach cheaper.

[AmericanPi]

Well the short answer is run away. She's saying she wants something for nothing. Nope.

Longer answer is why did she even ask this? What did U say that make her think you are offering money for sex because this should never happen. The discussion should never get this explicit. Also is this discussion on SA or have you gone to text? I don't think I've ever had a discussion about a meetup right on SA. We always chat enough and get comfortable and go offline.

Easy thing is just ghost her. I guarantee she is not worth your time with that kind of dialog.

Steve is, as is usual, totally right.

I personally have not jumped in the SA game yet (waiting to be vaccinated), but I do lurk on SA to see what is out there and fantasize about how I'll play that game. And I'll say I'm actually impressed with how transparent many women are. Many are totally open saying that they are looking for online only relationships, or in person but no sex, or even "no guarantees but let's see where this goes" (IE "I'm maintaining the power in this relationship." To me, that would be a hard and immediate pass, absolutely no interest in engaging, but I do respect how they set their boundaries up front so you can not waste your time.

[Elvis 2008]

"I don't have sex for money to meet up have coffee you can help me with my bills and we can see where it goes".

What do you think? Should I invest anything with the hope it may lead to something in the future?

My gut is to pass as it likely is just a carrot being dangled with no intention of sex in the future but wanted to get thoughts of the experienced members on this board.

Your gut is right. Anytime you sense that she is a scam artist she probably is.

[DramaFree11]

Steve9696 hit the nail on the head. She is asking for compensation for coffee. This is a huge red flag in my book. My general rule is not to hand over any cash until after we have sealed our arrangement. It's the fairest way.

Cut bait and pull up some other fish.

Run. I had an issue with this over the weekend. We agreed if there was connection, we would start an arrangement after we had drinks. She was nice, but did not dress up for the meeting and I was just not that attracted to her physically. I agreed to meet a second time, I offered to pay for her Uber. She declined then asked for money, I walked off. She later begged for Uber fair.

[CarloRogue]

Folks -- Need your opinion. Here is the message I received from a chick on SA.

"I don't have sex for money to meet up have coffee you can help me with my bills and we can see where it goes".

What do you think? Should I invest anything with the hope it may lead to something in the future?

My gut is to pass as it likely is just a carrot being dangled with no intention of sex in the future but wanted to get thoughts of the experienced members on this board.

As everyone else says, drop her, but here's how I would break it down and why you would fail to get what you want, in bullet form:

- She's establishing the conditions and setting up the coffee date, and you have no frame (that's why you're asking the board what to do). The relationship, should there ever be one, would be lop-sided and inverted. As the pickup community would say, you need to establish your frame.

- Never discuss anything transactional on SA, even if she brings it up first and even if it is indirect. I would delete the thread and block her, so the moderators can't pin it on you in any way. Personally, I don't even exchange such details on a burner phone. Only in person, but that's just me and I know others are less risk averse.

- If you're looking for a genuine GND that likes older men, as I am, these types never bring up compensation in advance of a meeting, and usually let you take the lead.

- Her grammar sucks. She wrote a run-on sentence without punctuation, meaning she spent no time on it and doesn't care how it comes across. In effect, she doesn't value you and she's not trying to prove her worth. Or, her education is lacking. Either way, it's one of my flags. Not a hard & fast one, and if she had other compensating qualities, I can look past it, but in an environment of abundance, it's usually a disqualifier for me.

- On a slightly positive note, I do like coffee dates for a first meet (but uncompensated of course). If a girl asks for a fancy dinner on the first meet, it indicates a bit of sharkiness and materialism. But back to the first bullet, the man needs to set the date.

CR.

[LshRoomer]

Folks -- Need your opinion. Here is the message I received from a chick on SA.

"I don't have sex for money to meet up have coffee you can help me with my bills and we can see where it goes".

What do you think? Should I invest anything with the hope it may lead to something in the future?

My gut is to pass as it likely is just a carrot being dangled with no intention of sex in the future but wanted to get thoughts of the experienced members on this board.

Steve9696 hit the nail on the head. She is asking for compensation for coffee. This is a huge red flag in my book. My general rule is not to hand over any cash until after we have sealed our arrangement. It's the fairest way.

Cut bait and pull up some other fish.

02.

[Ailton]

Hi you all,

Haven't really posted much here but used SA when I was in Lisbon and here is my report.

Girls quite a lot of them some seem to be scammers or just try and take advantage of you don't send any money before any meeting.

That should be obvious but you never know. Met with 6 girls PPM 2-300 3 of them stayed the night one of them for free.

Some of the girls take way to long to answer repeated with 2 of them only 1 of them I wouldn't have repeated with.

Thank you for your contribution. I will add your results to our table. I had hoped Lisbon would be more like 100 - 200 EUR on average. Happy to see that you havn't been dissapointed as far as their looks are concerned.

Folks -- Need your opinion. Here is the message I received from a chick on SA.

"I don't have sex for money to meet up have coffee you can help me with my bills and we can see where it goes".

What do you think? Should I invest anything with the hope it may lead to something in the future?

My gut is to pass as it likely is just a carrot being dangled with no intention of sex in the future but wanted to get thoughts of the experienced members on this board.

Your guts already gave you the soundest advice you could possibly get: A person that genuinely wants to build trust before engaging in more, will not charge for initial meetings. Someone who is testing the boundaries, makes you the hope of "let's see where it goes" and wants you to to pay their bills in return for platonic dates, is highly likely trying to milk you.

[Steve 9696]

Folks -- Need your opinion. Here is the message I received from a chick on SA.

"I don't have sex for money to meet up have coffee you can help me with my bills and we can see where it goes".

What do you think? Should I invest anything with the hope it may lead to something in the future?

My gut is to pass as it likely is just a carrot being dangled with no intention of sex in the future but wanted to get thoughts of the experienced members on this board.

Well the short answer is run away. She's saying she wants something for nothing. Nope.

Longer answer is why did she even ask this? What did U say that make her think you are offering money for sex because this should never happen. The discussion should never get this explicit. Also is this discussion on SA or have you gone to text? I don't think I've ever had a discussion about a meetup right on SA. We always chat enough and get comfortable and go offline.

Easy thing is just ghost her. I guarantee she is not worth your time with that kind of dialog.

[Luminous]

Folks -- Need your opinion. Here is the message I received from a chick on SA.

"I don't have sex for money to meet up have coffee you can help me with my bills and we can see where it goes".

What do you think? Should I invest anything with the hope it may lead to something in the future?

My gut is to pass as it likely is just a carrot being dangled with no intention of sex in the future but wanted to get thoughts of the experienced members on this board.

[Mongerer88]

Happy New Year to you, too.

I haven't explored the Montreal sugar scene. There are just so many escorts I want to see there in the $200-$300 Canadian dollar range, and so little time when I am there, that it never makes sense. I just emailed an escort there today to say Hello,. I probably wasted her time, but she was nice about it. I just wanted to get her in my contacts for when travel to Montreal is doable again.

I guess Seeking is so firmly entrenched in its position that it is not part of the sex work industry that it does not feel the need to go offshore. A great number of the USA Independent escorts I see now have Netherlands websites, so it certainly is the trend.

There was one USA Escort I follow on Twitter who got irritated at the perceived superiority of one of her Seeking friends and tweeted about showing her the posts she found online with a link to the Seeking profile that detailed the Seeking lady's prices and services. I found it amusing.

Time will tell if the publicity and those types of public posts ever create problems. It is certainly a different system than anything else, so who knows. Seeking doesn't ever seem to cross the line that the USA Government will argue in the Backpage case (if it ever goes to trial) that can't be crossed. Backpage allegedly would tell a customer whose ad was rejected due to solicitation concerns as to how to compose an acceptable ad. Seeking just kicks people off.

Hey Mongerer88, Happy New Year!

Since you have a lot of experience in Montreal, I was wondering if you have played in the MTL sugar bowl. It would seem to be a great city for SA. I always found Montreal women to be more libertine compared to other North American women.

In regards to SA being deemed a sexual procurement site, a MTL buddy of ours was banned from SA for sending out messages to the girls asking "how much?" and even maybe "condom required?' Haha. Anyways, I don't think he is poor or cheap. He's just a bit impatient.

Even if the SA site was domiciled in a tolerant country, isn't possible the USA Law enforcement could monkey around with the site through USA Internet providers? There is a Canadian escort ad site mentioned often where I can't see the photos here in the USA However, other sites that were shutdown by USA LE have come right back based in the Netherlands. It's all quite confusing and I don't think USA Law enforcement is sure of what is doing. They play sort of a sporadic whack-a-mole game with the internet sex sites. I'm also sure that international internet governance prevents them from trying to run around censoring the global internet.