Seeking Arrangements

[Midwestern]

Lots of good advice in this thread already. All of Steve's advice are particularly good. But many others have also provided their valuable information on their experience too.

Thanks both of you for the input. I am still getting familiar with the system. I do not have enough experience to tell the difference between a gal that is trying to avoid the scammers who want things for free and those that want to scam you. I am experienced enough to know how to be careful. I have never had a problem with a European escort. But in the USA and Canada what is advertised is often what does not show up. I have experienced a demand for payment when you refuse them. I am sure after a few M and G I can handle the situation. How do you tell the difference between the professionals and those that just know how the system operates? Do you always negotiate the gifts in advance? If you do, how do you avoid making the situation feel like an escort?

.

[GoodJobJohn]

Hello Fellow Mongers (newbie).

Has anyone used this site https://sugarbook.com to get SB's in Europe?

Thanks.

[Akibono]

At Akibono, SA gals are not supposed be escorts. If you're looking for an escort, look elsewhere. SA gals are supposed to be NSA GFs. If you don't get that vibe from your date, then take a pass.

Thanks both of you for the input. I am still getting familiar with the system. I do not have enough experience to tell the difference between a gal that is trying to avoid the scammers who want things for free and those that want to scam you. I am experienced enough to know how to be careful. I have never had a problem with a European escort. But in the USA and Canada what is advertised is often what does not show up. I have experienced a demand for payment when you refuse them. I am sure after a few M and G I can handle the situation. How do you tell the difference between the professionals and those that just know how the system operates? Do you always negotiate the gifts in advance? If you do, how do you avoid making the situation feel like an escort?

[SexOnLegs]

Which site Seeking Arrangement or Secret Benefits is good in Europe? I'm an SA vet and currently still with my SB for over 3 years. Best addiction of my life. I'm planning a trip to Europe and prefer to meet a non-pro to be my companion while there. I'm talking several days to include overnights. I want a hot, young lady to take to clubs and stuff like that. Suggestions?

I was going through these conversations and I thought I could give some tips on this idea.

[Midwestern]

At Akibono, SA gals are not supposed be escorts. If you're looking for an escort, look elsewhere. SA gals are supposed to be NSA GFs. If you don't get that vibe from your date, then take a pass.

[Steve 9696]

Finally going on my first date. I find the process quite awkward since I am new to this. My main concern is not being stuck with a skanky ho or being robbed. In the states, you have to worry more about scams. We agreed to meet at a place for a bite or drink and then go up to the hotel. How is payment typically handled? I presume you pay at the beginning, but I am a bit concerned that the gal will grab the money and run and I will have to face her pimp. But I also understand that the girl does not want to be stiffed too. I never have problems with escorts because they know the drill. I am going to put the money out and she can take it when she leaves. I think that is a good compromise. What do you think are some risks I am not aware of? I am single so I am not worried about them knowing my name, but I am a bit concerned about my car since plates can easily be traced. Don't want strangers showing up at my place. Not cool.

Dude if you are worried about these things you are doing it all wrong. A quality SA has none of these worries! She doesn't have a pimp for fuck sake! She's just a regular girl getting a bit of extra cash. Not a hardened pro. She is way more scared about the encounter than you should ever be. At least these are the girls I find worthy on SA. And you can spot the pros a mile away.

As far as money with the right girl I get a thank you note and write a personal note and include the cash. She doesn't want to feel like a hooker. So help her out! And I never put it in plain sight. Always under the ice bucket or something. She hasn't seen any inkling of a dollar until we are fully wrapped up! Shit my London girl I forgot. And she didn't even ask till 4.5 hours later we were in the hall "did you have a gift for me?

These are the girls that are the gems on SA. If I had to worry about all the shit you list I would never do SA.

[Akibono]

Generally, I also want to avoid sex in the first meet. As I said, I am afraid of entrapment (perhaps an irrational fear, but we can't be rational all the time), also a first meet and greet does give a chance to get to know, understand, reflect and if still liking the girl, get back with her. Also, as someone else mentioned, the ones who agree to have sex before even the first meet and greet are more likely professional girls and that is usually not my ideal spec. The genuine student, waitress or bartender, office receptionist or even young single mom types may want to also get to know you before agreeing to fuck. I did have sex on some first dates. But in those situations, we still met for a lunch or dinner, spent some time talking, and we both decided we liked each other enough and went to a room nearby. The agreement happened during the meet, not before the meet..

Finally going on my first date. I find the process quite awkward since I am new to this. My main concern is not being stuck with a skanky ho or being robbed. In the states, you have to worry more about scams. We agreed to meet at a place for a bite or drink and then go up to the hotel. How is payment typically handled? I presume you pay at the beginning, but I am a bit concerned that the gal will grab the money and run and I will have to face her pimp. But I also understand that the girl does not want to be stiffed too. I never have problems with escorts because they know the drill. I am going to put the money out and she can take it when she leaves. I think that is a good compromise. What do you think are some risks I am not aware of? I am single so I am not worried about them knowing my name, but I am a bit concerned about my car since plates can easily be traced. Don't want strangers showing up at my place. Not cool.

[Midwestern]

Maybe take it a tad further. State it as a command. "Meet me at xxxx at xx:00 PM. " I learned this from a friend who was taking psychology courses. He said most of us are indecisive, mostly because we worry too much about making bad decisions, so it relaxes a person to take that nervousness away from them. My success rate is way, way better when I say "let's go to my room" as opposed to "want to go to my room?"

So I've been reading a lot of Nanpa (Japanese street pickup) of late and it has a lot of very helpful tips for closing the deal with girls in general and therefore SA girls. Without it there is no way I would have closed Jesse in Las Vegas (full story available if anyone is interested) but more recently it's been helping me increase my contact rate on SA!

The idea is after you "open" a girl on the street and I want to get her to drinks or such you don't say "do you want to xxx". You say "I'm going to go do xxx. Want to come". It's a subtle difference but it's a difference.

So on SA I used to try to think up clever things to say and how to catch their attention. The past two days I've just been saying "I'm going to XX to do YYY on Saturday. Want to join me?" And the number of responses has spiked dramatically. Still some ways to go to see which deal I close if any but it is interesting how quick I get interest this way.

.

[Steve 9696]

So I've been reading a lot of Nanpa (Japanese street pickup) of late and it has a lot of very helpful tips for closing the deal with girls in general and therefore SA girls. Without it there is no way I would have closed Jesse in Las Vegas (full story available if anyone is interested) but more recently it's been helping me increase my contact rate on SA!

The idea is after you "open" a girl on the street and I want to get her to drinks or such you don't say "do you want to xxx". You say "I'm going to go do xxx. Want to come". It's a subtle difference but it's a difference.

So on SA I used to try to think up clever things to say and how to catch their attention. The past two days I've just been saying "I'm going to XX to do YYY on Saturday. Want to join me?" And the number of responses has spiked dramatically. Still some ways to go to see which deal I close if any but it is interesting how quick I get interest this way.

[Midwestern]

I prefer SA gals that live an hour or two away from me. This means that a meet and greet can take up to an entire half day. So I often hope for instant chemistry, so that we can just waltz to the hotel room, so sometimes I roll the dice and book a room for the first date. But like Pessimist says, many times the gal doesn't show up, and I'm stuck with a room. One might think it's easy to just quickly book a room (on an app) after the gal shows up and chemistry is established, but you still have you still check in, which means she'll find out your real identity.

[Pessimist]

With respect to reports below. I try to get through the price per meet before meeting. I say I don't do allowances because my schedule is not predictable. I tell them I'd like to meet at the bar of the hotel and get to know each other first. And, if agreeable come up to my room to get more familiar. Obviously, this is an upscale hotel and that makes them more comfortable. The idea that we would go up to my room speaks for itself on planned activities. And, we meet first before commitment which makes them feel more comfortable.

Meeting for lunch or coffee never fucking ever goes anywhere. Girls know if they're going to fuck you the second they see you. Give them time and they chicken out or some freaking thing happens.

In my city, there are so many fakes and flakes on SA. If you hit up white girls in the 18-25 range with attractive photos and slim bodies, only a small percent even respond back. Of the girls that respond back, some want only an online relationship. Some say that they will meet but will only entertain a platonic arrangement but expect $500 to $1000 a month for purely platonic arrangements. Some girls are willing to do NSA and more but demand a cash app payment sent to them before any first meet. Some agree to meet but want to get paid cash at the meet. Yesterday one girl demanded $50 for a coffee meet and $100 for a lunch meet. She gave a reasonable $250 to $300 for FwB ppm but will not budge on the $50 to $100 initial meet and greet payment.

This is the reality where I live. If you have better luck in your area, good for you. But I have been doing this for 4 years and had several dozen SBs over time, and the above situation has been consistent over time.

The issue is all about the first meet. Once I met a girl, we know each other, it is never a problem from second meet on. We know what we each want and have some amount of trust. But first meet is always tricky.

If I am on the road and already have a hotel, I can ask the girl to meet at my hotel. But in my home city, I am not going to rent a hotel room without knowing the girl will show up for sure. Given how many flakes there are on the site, it would be foolish to rent a room, and hope that the girl will show up. I know guys who have done it and looked like fools being stuck with a room but no girl.

I think if you get a good SB, you should hold onto her. Sure, I like to sample as many girls as possible, but I go to FKKs for this. If I get a really good girl, I try to do at least a few months with her, assuming one or two meets a month. This implies say, ten fucks in a few months? I have fucked some FKK girls many more times than that, such as Megan in Sharks, Lavinia in Oase and so on. I am able to tolerate ten fuck sessions with a good girl spanning a few months.

[FunForMikey]

With respect to reports below. I try to get through the price per meet before meeting. I say I don't do allowances because my schedule is not predictable. I tell them I'd like to meet at the bar of the hotel and get to know each other first. And, if agreeable come up to my room to get more familiar. Obviously, this is an upscale hotel and that makes them more comfortable. The idea that we would go up to my room speaks for itself on planned activities. And, we meet first before commitment which makes them feel more comfortable.

Meeting for lunch or coffee never fucking ever goes anywhere. Girls know if they're going to fuck you the second they see you. Give them time and they chicken out or some freaking thing happens.

[Midwestern]

This sounds very much like my MO too. And yeah, casting a wide net is key. Being picky is a waste of time. When I was active on SA, I would send at least half dozen new greetings per day. But you do have to spend some time to read their profiles so that you can write something to stand out. These gals are getting so many messages, so you need to stand out.

Generally, I also want to avoid sex in the first meet. As I said, I am afraid of entrapment (perhaps an irrational fear, but we can't be rational all the time), also a first meet and greet does give a chance to get to know, understand, reflect and if still liking the girl, get back with her. Also, as someone else mentioned, the ones who agree to have sex before even the first meet and greet are more likely professional girls and that is usually not my ideal spec. The genuine student, waitress or bartender, office receptionist or even young single mom types may want to also get to know you before agreeing to fuck. I did have sex on some first dates. But in those situations, we still met for a lunch or dinner, spent some time talking, and we both decided we liked each other enough and went to a room nearby. The agreement happened during the meet, not before the meet.

All of the above is in arrangements that happened in my home city. When I'm on the road, it is a different situation. If you are in a city for only 3 days for business and one of them included a business dinner late into the night, you don't have the luxury of meet and greet and then sex the next day. In those scenarios, I break my rule and go with sex despite my fear of entrapment. We keep the discussion as generic as possible, IE. No mention of sex anywhere in the text messages. But when allowance of a few hundred is discussed, the girl knows sex is on the table. Only one time a girl came to my room and pretended to be shocked that I wanted sex. I said "how did you expect to receive 300 with no sex"?

Anyway, to your question, I think most girls are definitely not wanting to go to a room for the simple reason that 50% or more of "girls" on SA are total scammers and fakes. This is my anecdotal experience. Of the remaining, some are strictly no sex girls, and some have very high expectations in terms of allowance and so on. Again, this is in my sample, which is limited to slim white girls younger than 25 years old. Stats may differ at other age groups, in other cities. The ones who are nice, will have sex at reasonable prices are also careful like we are, and will only have sex after a long discussion, a couple of dates and so on.

As for price negotiation, it is jut about being patient. I hardly ever pay more than 400, try to stay below 300 most of the time if possible; I reach out to many many girls because I feel that if I cast a wide net I may catch what I want at a good price. If I was a single man, I probably would be more flexible but part of my challenge is that I need to keep my expenses low enough so that the missing money is never noticed by my spouse.

.

[Pessimist]

Do you have any advice on negotiating on price? SA tells the girl not to go to a room at the meet and greet. Do you find most girls not wanting to go to a hotel on the first meeting? Thanks. Still an amateur.

Generally, I also want to avoid sex in the first meet. As I said, I am afraid of entrapment (perhaps an irrational fear, but we can't be rational all the time), also a first meet and greet does give a chance to get to know, understand, reflect and if still liking the girl, get back with her. Also, as someone else mentioned, the ones who agree to have sex before even the first meet and greet are more likely professional girls and that is usually not my ideal spec. The genuine student, waitress or bartender, office receptionist or even young single mom types may want to also get to know you before agreeing to fuck. I did have sex on some first dates. But in those situations, we still met for a lunch or dinner, spent some time talking, and we both decided we liked each other enough and went to a room nearby. The agreement happened during the meet, not before the meet.

All of the above is in arrangements that happened in my home city. When I'm on the road, it is a different situation. If you are in a city for only 3 days for business and one of them included a business dinner late into the night, you don't have the luxury of meet and greet and then sex the next day. In those scenarios, I break my rule and go with sex despite my fear of entrapment. We keep the discussion as generic as possible, IE. No mention of sex anywhere in the text messages. But when allowance of a few hundred is discussed, the girl knows sex is on the table. Only one time a girl came to my room and pretended to be shocked that I wanted sex. I said "how did you expect to receive 300 with no sex"?

Anyway, to your question, I think most girls are definitely not wanting to go to a room for the simple reason that 50% or more of "girls" on SA are total scammers and fakes. This is my anecdotal experience. Of the remaining, some are strictly no sex girls, and some have very high expectations in terms of allowance and so on. Again, this is in my sample, which is limited to slim white girls younger than 25 years old. Stats may differ at other age groups, in other cities. The ones who are nice, will have sex at reasonable prices are also careful like we are, and will only have sex after a long discussion, a couple of dates and so on.

As for price negotiation, it is jut about being patient. I hardly ever pay more than 400, try to stay below 300 most of the time if possible; I reach out to many many girls because I feel that if I cast a wide net I may catch what I want at a good price. If I was a single man, I probably would be more flexible but part of my challenge is that I need to keep my expenses low enough so that the missing money is never noticed by my spouse.

[Pessimist]

BTW, I also used hushed. I like it. If needed, I can delete the app off my phone and download back. This matters due to my martial status.

I do have my photo uploaded. I keep it private and open it up to girls who asked for it. If you are not careful pretty soon, several dozens of girls have my photo. So, Every few days, I go back to my profile, turn off access to my photo to everyone with one button, and start opening it again when they ask them. I use the same photo as is in my whatsapp and email and phone messaging, so that if ever it comes to it, I can say that particular photo is already in the open domain. But so far, I have been lucky, and worlds have not collided (Seinfeld reference).