Seeking Arrangements

[Midwestern]

This is so funny. I've tried this only twice, and also batted. 500. The first time was great. On my second attempt (a stunning Thai soft-core porn model), I caused such apparent calamity that I felt like a monster for making the invitation (hospitalization inducing migraines, a job firing, and other personal distress just short of death). Despite that, I'm currently coordinating another out-of-state visit. I'm being a little bit more cautious this time, having spoken on the phone and facetimed with the girl to vet her a bit more. All risk can't be fully eliminated, but that's what makes life interesting I think. The other advantage here is that you can pull from locations that have a more favorable SB / SD ratio and have a better chance of pulling a 9 or 10.

Instead of flying the SB to you for the first date, why not fly to her? But I would only do this if she lives in a place that I would want to visit and explore. My friend lived in a place where SB supply was limited, and so he checked out cities that he always wanted to visit. The first trip, he hit if off with the SB and he had a blast. The second time, the SB flaked on him. So, he scrambled to find other dates on SA, but wasn't that successful. But at least he got to explore the city and so it wasn't a complete waste of money. He said that he would do this again, but next time he'd set up a bunch of dates first, instead of just zeroing in on one.

[Nounce]

In China, having a mistress is pretty common if you are at least upper middle class. I have been teased, by my Chinese friends, more than once for not having a mistress. They say it means that I'm poor. A few weeks ago, a good female friend of mine also teased me about the same thing! Several women have also told me that they were a mistress, or used to be a mistress. A woman in my complex lived alone with a child. Someone asked her about the husband, and she said she was someone's mistress and they have a love child, and the father is paying for their apartment and living expenses. This is how common it is to have a mistress in China. So, I guess men view the risk to be low. For me, I'm a foreigner and I cannot speak Chinese. So, it makes having a semi-open affair to be both difficult and risky.

It was a crime in most East Asian countries long ago but several countries have decriminalized it. I don't know China's law so I don't know the legality of it. But in other Chinese countries, many tycoons have multiple wives. It became public when the man died and the children were fighting for inheritance.

[WyattEarp]

In China, having a mistress is pretty common if you are at least upper middle class. I have been teased, by my Chinese friends, more than once for not having a mistress. They say it means that I'm poor. A few weeks ago, a good female friend of mine also teased me about the same thing! Several women have also told me that they were a mistress, or used to be a mistress. A woman in my complex lived alone with a child. Someone asked her about the husband, and she said she was someone's mistress and they have a love child, and the father is paying for their apartment and living expenses. This is how common it is to have a mistress in China. So, I guess men view the risk to be low. For me, I'm a foreigner and I cannot speak Chinese. So, it makes having a semi-open affair to be both difficult and risky.

Wasn't it Mao who enacted a one mistress policy?

[Midwestern]

A mistress is not an uncommon thing. How are the men weighing the risk / reward ratio?

In China, having a mistress is pretty common if you are at least upper middle class. I have been teased, by my Chinese friends, more than once for not having a mistress. They say it means that I'm poor. A few weeks ago, a good female friend of mine also teased me about the same thing! Several women have also told me that they were a mistress, or used to be a mistress. A woman in my complex lived alone with a child. Someone asked her about the husband, and she said she was someone's mistress and they have a love child, and the father is paying for their apartment and living expenses. This is how common it is to have a mistress in China. So, I guess men view the risk to be low. For me, I'm a foreigner and I cannot speak Chinese. So, it makes having a semi-open affair to be both difficult and risky.

[DramaFree11]

What is funny about that is I have no clue how accessible that trail would be to a divorce lawyer because it is China.

Seeing as how your main issue is not leaving a trail. I would set up an account on somewhere like hotels.com and keep it so it cannot be linked to you easily. I would use an encrypted mail service like proton or pay for one. I would use a Visa Vanilla Gift Card to pay for the room. I guess you could do this for Airbnb as well.

Honestly, though, MW, what I learned with my divorce was my cheating was not the big deal I thought it was. I hated that my ex spilled my dirt to the world, but these lawyers have it down. Typically in my state, it is common for an estate to be split 50-50. If the guy has committed fraud against the community, which in my case was spending my own money, then it is not an even split but it goes 55% for the women and 45% for the guy. Now that is before legal expenses. A divorce lawyer told me the goal of lawyers is 6% of the estate so that puts the woman's share down to 52%.

Now my ex said when getting 52% over 50% and dragging me through the mud to get there sounded good to her, and I told her that I had no problem spending all of our assets on lawyers if she pulled that shit and I said 50% of nothing and 52% of nothing are the same damned thing, *****.

So true, many of my rich clients in Houston, lived 2 separate lives. They were only married on paper. Whatever works, but you are correct about the step down, many are willing to put up with a lot to keep the rich lifestyle.

I have a great business now and small apartment. I am way more happy now then when I had a big House and a bunch or crap. I am banging Hot Chicks in Mexico and Russia, I could not ask for much more. Plus I am out of Houston, makes life even better.

[Midwestern]

Extra marital affair is illegal in China, P4 P is also illegal. I think those are MW's main concerns, not the divorce. Communist party is integrated into China's society. It is required in large companies so they know each move of these companies. We pay HOA due to HOA in US. My friend told me they pay to a Communist party neighborhood association. MW may get into trouble if someone reports him to the party/police. China may shame you in public if you are caught. China has clamped down hard on P4 P in recent years. That is another reason that makes him worry.

BINGO!! This is so accurate, and this is exactly all the stuff that I am worried about.

To everyone that weighed in on this, I really appreciate it.

Here's an update. Today, my SB found a place. Lo and behold, she did rent the place on a Chinese version of AirBnB. She never met a real estate agent. She just went to a website, found a few places and went to check them out. The different apartment owners gave her the building code and the room code, so that she could check out the rooms by herself. If she takes a pass, then the owner just changes the room code remotely. She found a place, and she went ahead and rented it for two months, and she paid by transferring the rent via mobile pay. I showed up 40 minutes later. Big compound, so I don't think anyone gave me a second look. Security guard was sitting on the curb, smoking a cigarette. I waltz by him, and used the building code to let myself into the building. Each building is at least 30 floors, so hopefully I can remain anonymous in this place. (One other bad thing about my original apartment is that I could not buzz people in, and the building had no entrance keypad, so I always had to go down and walk the girls into the building with me.) With this new place, my SB and I agreed to enter the compound, building, and room, separately.

Anyway, fingers crossed that this will work out. Maybe I am being greedy, but I am hoping that I can use this place to meet other girls. After all, I can share the building code with anyone. Once they reach my floor, I will just open the room door for them.

[Akibono]

Elvis, all payments or transfers can be done electronically by app in China. You can use it to pay for street vendors, prostitutes, tips and everything else. It's universally accepted while credit card is not. I guess you heard about Ant Financial, that is what they do. This is what FB trying to duplicate in US for many years now.

Extra marital affair is illegal in China, P4 P is also illegal. I think those are MW's main concerns, not the divorce. Communist party is integrated into China's society. It is required in large companies so they know each move of these companies. We pay HOA due to HOA in US. My friend told me they pay to a Communist party neighborhood association. MW may get into trouble if someone reports him to the party/police. China may shame you in public if you are caught. China has clamped down hard on P4 P in recent years. That is another reason that makes him worry.

A mistress is not an uncommon thing. How are the men weighing the risk / reward ratio?

[Nounce]

What is funny about that is I have no clue how accessible that trail would be to a divorce lawyer because it is China.

Elvis, all payments or transfers can be done electronically by app in China. You can use it to pay for street vendors, prostitutes, tips and everything else. It's universally accepted while credit card is not. I guess you heard about Ant Financial, that is what they do. This is what FB trying to duplicate in US for many years now.

Extra marital affair is illegal in China, P4 P is also illegal. I think those are MW's main concerns, not the divorce. Communist party is integrated into China's society. It is required in large companies so they know each move of these companies. We pay HOA due to HOA in US. My friend told me they pay to a Communist party neighborhood association. MW may get into trouble if someone reports him to the party/police. China may shame you in public if you are caught. China has clamped down hard on P4 P in recent years. That is another reason that makes him worry.

[DramaFree11]

Yeah follow your intuition here. It's not going to work. She's going to need money for ticket etc and you don't know her from Adam. With the three I have flown I've gotten pretty lucky that two out of three didn't screw me over and it was fabulous. But Valentina took me for a $3000 ride and I thought I knew her well (21 hours together which is 2-4 X what I spent with Alexa and Thifany when I flew them). So an unknown? No way.

I also tried it a couple of times, I would not recommend it. It can get very expensive quickly and yes they will miss there flight or do something stupid, that cost will cost extra money and time. My advice pick a great destination and make it your home base. You can build a nice stable of girls and rotate them, but that does get expensive in the states. Mexico, Europe and Russia much cheaper.

[Elvis 2008]

Do you guys think this is a good idea? In Shanghai, it is quite common for married men to have mistresses, and as part of the deal, the man rents an apartment for their mistress. I am thinking about doing this for my main SB. It's kind of hilarious because I'm an American. So, I might be one of the first Americans to have a kept mistress in China (eh, now that I think of it, I'm sure it's been done thousands of times by foreigners before me).

What is funny about that is I have no clue how accessible that trail would be to a divorce lawyer because it is China.

Seeing as how your main issue is not leaving a trail. I would set up an account on somewhere like hotels.com and keep it so it cannot be linked to you easily. I would use an encrypted mail service like proton or pay for one. I would use a Visa Vanilla Gift Card to pay for the room. I guess you could do this for Airbnb as well.

Honestly, though, MW, what I learned with my divorce was my cheating was not the big deal I thought it was. I hated that my ex spilled my dirt to the world, but these lawyers have it down. Typically in my state, it is common for an estate to be split 50-50. If the guy has committed fraud against the community, which in my case was spending my own money, then it is not an even split but it goes 55% for the women and 45% for the guy. Now that is before legal expenses. A divorce lawyer told me the goal of lawyers is 6% of the estate so that puts the woman's share down to 52%.

Now my ex said when getting 52% over 50% and dragging me through the mud to get there sounded good to her, and I told her that I had no problem spending all of our assets on lawyers if she pulled that shit and I said 50% of nothing and 52% of nothing are the same damned thing, *****.

My point is that all this running around and hiding was a lot of stress, and it did not matter financially or in court. Once women learn that all their bitching is just going to cost them money, they shut up and settle. I call this divorce method burning down the house and I have had many people thank me for telling them that, and their divorces settled very quickly after they used that technique.

But I would talk to a divorce lawyer about your options and what happens if the wife found out. Society makes it out to be the cheating husband is the most evil SOB on the planet when in fact courts deal with this routinely all the time. What I have found is the wives almost always know you are cheating. They tolerate it because for most getting a divorce would be a step down with life. They just do not want it thrown in their face.

The funniest thing of all time was when a stripper, who knew I was married was giving me head and finished. She and I were talking, and I asked about her boyfriend and she said, "he cheated on me. Can you believe it?" She was oblivious to the hypocrisy. I said, "Oh you poor thing. That is terrible. Can you give me some more head?

[CarloRogue]

MW,

Let me tell you how that goes. I would do this with women I had met previously. I would buy the ticket and one out of every two times the women would cancel or not come. Three times I had women cancel and claimed to have a sick father (never the mother), and one friend started giving me shit about it. He said every time I bought an airline ticket my state would have a surge of paternal deaths.

So 50% showed up and that was with women I had banged and had a decent relationship with. With a woman you do not know, I cannot see how the percentage would be better.

This is so funny. I've tried this only twice, and also batted. 500. The first time was great. On my second attempt (a stunning Thai soft-core porn model), I caused such apparent calamity that I felt like a monster for making the invitation (hospitalization inducing migraines, a job firing, and other personal distress just short of death). Despite that, I'm currently coordinating another out-of-state visit. I'm being a little bit more cautious this time, having spoken on the phone and facetimed with the girl to vet her a bit more. All risk can't be fully eliminated, but that's what makes life interesting I think. The other advantage here is that you can pull from locations that have a more favorable SB / SD ratio and have a better chance of pulling a 9 or 10.

[CarloRogue]

AirBnB does not allow hidden camera. I know host can still use it but not likely if you use a host with many reviews. I wonder how they would track you if you register in US.

I think you are overthinking this because you are married but people who don't know you do not know that.

The last time rented an AirBnB, I had to upload ID to AirBnB. The host doesn't get direct access to your ID according to AirBnB, they just receive third party verification from AirBnB that you are who you say you are. At the time, I believe this requirement was optional by property. Some hosts required it, some didn't. Not sure about now (anybody know?) If it's mandatory or just more widespread now, that would make it quite difficult to rent anonymously, just like a hotel room.

And regarding cameras, the villa I rented overseas about a year ago had a camera on the door (with obvious IR capability), so they could see who's entering the property day or night. I would think there are privacy laws in most advanced countries against spying within the premises, so you're probably safe there. But if you're really paranoid, there are some relatively simple techniques you can use to look for hidden cameras. In general, however, the world has entered a surveillance age and there's no going back. HD cameras are everywhere, and wireless transmission metadata is recorded permanently and allows precise position triangulation. And don't get me started about all those free apps we've all downloaded. It's harder and harder to move about anonymously, if you really need to.

[Steve 9696]

I met many girls on SA that said they could fly to meet me. Man, does this often go well? Anyone else have any experience with this? Given that chemistry is rare, I do not think this would be a good gamble.

Yeah follow your intuition here. It's not going to work. She's going to need money for ticket etc and you don't know her from Adam. With the three I have flown I've gotten pretty lucky that two out of three didn't screw me over and it was fabulous. But Valentina took me for a $3000 ride and I thought I knew her well (21 hours together which is 2-4 X what I spent with Alexa and Thifany when I flew them). So an unknown? No way.

[Nounce]

I gave this serious thought. But most places require ID. And also mobile transfer pay. Both can leave a trail too.

In addition, I heard some Chinese apartment owners have hidden cameras in their units, to make sure tenants aren't stealing stuff.

This rental is only for 2 months for now. I'll see how it goes.

AirBnB does not allow hidden camera. I know host can still use it but not likely if you use a host with many reviews. I wonder how they would track you if you register in US.

I think you are overthinking this because you are married but people who don't know you do not know that.

[Midwestern]

Is there anything against AirBnB? I think this would fit perfectly for you. You could change places and areas very often, it would amount to about the same monthly fee of 6000 RMB (roughly).

Long term rental is never a good idea because you're pretty easy to find and have a predictable pattern.

I gave this serious thought. But most places require ID. And also mobile transfer pay. Both can leave a trail too.

In addition, I heard some Chinese apartment owners have hidden cameras in their units, to make sure tenants aren't stealing stuff.

This rental is only for 2 months for now. I'll see how it goes.