Seeking Arrangements

[PilotPaul]

I have been whoring so much, I don't even know what normal is anymore.

Good feedback and another experience to build your MO.

When I started writing some notes on how many different women I had slept with and different experiences I had my list was 300 different women. Maybe you are similar.

Many of these girl that we contact may be orders of magnitude less with some only having had a few 'serious' boyfriends. There are girls that we meet whom are also professional mongers in their own way but that's a different story.

I think in both cases this is a plausible deniability on her part. No need to get caught up in the game.

[Steve 9696]

Warning: This post contains no useful info.

After our first "date," which was just us bare backing at her home for a couple of hours, here is what happened afterwards. The next night, I asked her when I can see her again. She then goes off on a tirade asking me how many GFs I have, and, do I always go to girl's homes. I could tell she was really mad. I guess I acted like going to her place for sex was normal, but now that I think about it, it's totally not normal. Since she is an office worker and not a pro, I should have asked her out on a real date. I have been whoring so much, I don't even know what normal is anymore. It's weird though, because she must have known what she was signing up for when she invited me into her home. I could lie to her, to keep this relationship going, but I don't want to do that, because that will definitely not end well. So, I may never see her again. Oh well. I have the memories at least. But damn, she was ideal. Anyway, sorry to waste people's times.

Agree with others. No time wasting here. We are all here to learn and give back. I think the responses are spot on. It felt good and right to give her cash. But it made her feel cheap like she just had sex for money. She probably needed it so she took it and now she is kicking herself and feeling ashamed.

In Nanpa they have a thing called ASD anti-sl*t-defense. Basically girls don't want to be seen as it think of themselves as sl*ts. So you have to help them here not make it worse.

Try to distance any gifts from the act. We all eat meat but we keep the transaction at a distance. Surely none of us wants to pay a guy to kill a cow in front of us. We want the paying as far from the killing as possible. Same applies here.

And I don't think she was expecting any money it was a true date! If that's what U want (with the ensuing drama as well) then surely you can get her back. Yes of course you have seen other girls in the past but right now she is the one you are interested in. She just wants to be assured she's not a sl*t.

[Pessimist]

Warning: This post contains no useful info.

After our first "date," which was just us bare backing at her home for a couple of hours, here is what happened afterwards. The next night, I asked her when I can see her again. She then goes off on a tirade asking me how many GFs I have, and, do I always go to girl's homes. I could tell she was really mad. I guess I acted like going to her place for sex was normal, but now that I think about it, it's totally not normal. Since she is an office worker and not a pro, I should have asked her out on a real date. I have been whoring so much, I don't even know what normal is anymore. It's weird though, because she must have known what she was signing up for when she invited me into her home. I could lie to her, to keep this relationship going, but I don't want to do that, because that will definitely not end well. So, I may never see her again. Oh well. I have the memories at least. But damn, she was ideal. Anyway, sorry to waste people's times.

I am not surprised. I have a couple of suggestions. A) It is not a lost cause yet with her. She did have sex with you after all. If you like her enough, persist. Make some apologies, explain to her your true intent and feeling, explain to her that you like her. If you give up after she blew up once, it confirms her biased judgement in her own mind that you treated her like a tute. But if you persist, she will know that you do like her. After all, a monger does move onto the next tute, while a real lover will persist and pacify after a lover's spat. Obviously, you are not lovers yet, this is not YET a true relationship, but it can become one, not a romantic one as you may not want such but more of a fuck buddy relationship. But even a fuck buddy relationship is still an ongoing relationship and involves give and take, someone blowing up occasionally while the other pacifies. I mean, look. I had girls act jealous and refuse to go with me in FKKs but they come back, they always do.

B) next time on, give a real gift. Of course that requires some preparation, but worth the effort. Instead of giving cash in a situation like this, give a non cash gift. A nice perfume, a nice purse or sweater etc. Clothes are tricky because if they don't fit, girls become irrational and take it personal. If you give a smaller size item, she will think she is fat and blow up; if you give oversized, she will say "you think I am this fat? But anyway, cash gift definitely plants the seed that it is a monetary transaction and she is treated as a tute. Non monetary gift is very natural and indicates you are a gentleman. Also, try the lines I suggested before "please accept my gift speech" - she will feel like she is pleasing you by accepting the gift.

P.S.: All the nasty assholes who will riff on my comment and say that I am acting like a love sick puppy can take a hike. MW's situation is a real world; non-transactional situation, and requires more tact than what the typical monger is used to, which is handing cash and negotiating for sex like he would for a taxi ride in Bucharest.

[Nounce]

Warning: This post contains no useful info.

After our first "date," which was just us bare backing at her home for a couple of hours, here is what happened afterwards. The next night, I asked her when I can see her again. She then goes off on a tirade asking me how many GFs I have, and, do I always go to girl's homes. I could tell she was really mad. I guess I acted like going to her place for sex was normal, but now that I think about it, it's totally not normal. Since she is an office worker and not a pro, I should have asked her out on a real date. I have been whoring so much, I don't even know what normal is anymore. It's weird though, because she must have known what she was signing up for when she invited me into her home. I could lie to her, to keep this relationship going, but I don't want to do that, because that will definitely not end well. So, I may never see her again. Oh well. I have the memories at least. But damn, she was ideal. Anyway, sorry to waste people's times.

Good report, not time waster. I think perhaps you shouldn't give money to someone like her after sex in the future. You need to disassociate sex and money. Instead, give her money to help her out on other occasions, like holidays, or new year when it is common for people to receive bonus.

[SonicBoom1]

Warning: This post contains no useful info.

After our first "date," which was just us bare backing at her home for a couple of hours, here is what happened afterwards. The next night, I asked her when I can see her again. She then goes off on a tirade asking me how many GFs I have, and, do I always go to girl's homes. I could tell she was really mad. I guess I acted like going to her place for sex was normal, but now that I think about it, it's totally not normal. Since she is an office worker and not a pro, I should have asked her out on a real date. I have been whoring so much, I don't even know what normal is anymore. It's weird though, because she must have known what she was signing up for when she invited me into her home. I could lie to her, to keep this relationship going, but I don't want to do that, because that will definitely not end well. So, I may never see her again. Oh well. I have the memories at least. But damn, she was ideal. Anyway, sorry to waste people's times.

She is feeling guilty and now taking out her guilt and anger on you. Which is complete BS. You can't be responsible for others reactions when it was a free will choice. It's not like you engaged in prostitution or exploitation. You gave her $200 because you cared for her, not because you were paying her for sex (that was free as is often is in a regular date). However now that she has accepted money from you she feels crappy and it causes cognitive dissonance for her.

Give it time, be courteous and say Hello, but don't engage in texting. There is a small chance once she's back to normal she would text you and say sorry.

[Midwestern]

Warning: This post contains no useful info.

After our first "date," which was just us bare backing at her home for a couple of hours, here is what happened afterwards. The next night, I asked her when I can see her again. She then goes off on a tirade asking me how many GFs I have, and, do I always go to girl's homes. I could tell she was really mad. I guess I acted like going to her place for sex was normal, but now that I think about it, it's totally not normal. Since she is an office worker and not a pro, I should have asked her out on a real date. I have been whoring so much, I don't even know what normal is anymore. It's weird though, because she must have known what she was signing up for when she invited me into her home. I could lie to her, to keep this relationship going, but I don't want to do that, because that will definitely not end well. So, I may never see her again. Oh well. I have the memories at least. But damn, she was ideal. Anyway, sorry to waste people's times.

[PilotPaul]

I haven't had a paid membership on SA in over 3 years. When I recently tried to pay for a membership, they still had my old credit card information, but the card had expired. So, I used a new credit card. Before I submitted my payment, one small odd thing that I noticed was that my payment was in RMB (Chinese currency). I live in China. Usually, when I make an online payment, the default currency is HK $, and this is because I use a VPN. Anyway, when I submitted my payment, I got a notification that my payment was refused and my account was suspended. I can't even browse the site for free anymore!!

Thanks for the intel. I can imagine that there are enough signals in there that SA don't want to risk charge backs.

[Midwestern]

First of all so awesome to show this persistence and be rewarded. That is sooooo awesome. Congrats. Even tho the $200 is above market you care about her and wanted to do it. That's how SB is supposed to be! When I was seeing my local girl during Covid even tho we agreed $300, I kept leaving her $500 because she was out of work (hairdresser and stripper neither a good Covid gig! It felt good. It's not transactional.

Suggest you put $ in a card with a little note. Or just a smiley face if you can't do the Chinese. It's a gift that way more than a transaction. Will just make her more comfortable.

Another reason why I paid above market price is because I think she genuinely likes me. I was at her place for 2. 5 hours, and the only reason why I was there that long is because she wouldn't let me leave. As you always say, Steve, one of the main reasons why SA can be great is because the gals often actually really like us. I'm willing to show my appreciation for that, and I want to incentivise her as much as possible for her to stay in this relationship or this arrangement. These days, I'm willing to sleep with a 6 that is crazy about me over a 9 that is just doing it for the money.

Plus, the fact that I don't have pay for a hotel, and that she lives only about 15 minutes away from me, makes her more valuable to me, haha.

[Midwestern]

Without giving away any specific details, did you use your regular spending card? Was it a new account? Was it a new seeking account you were paying? Anything special about your chosen email domain? Do you think it was your card issuer that denied the payment to seeking OR seeking that didn't process?

PP.

I haven't had a paid membership on SA in over 3 years. When I recently tried to pay for a membership, they still had my old credit card information, but the card had expired. So, I used a new credit card. Before I submitted my payment, one small odd thing that I noticed was that my payment was in RMB (Chinese currency). I live in China. Usually, when I make an online payment, the default currency is HK $, and this is because I use a VPN. Anyway, when I submitted my payment, I got a notification that my payment was refused and my account was suspended. I can't even browse the site for free anymore!!

So, why did I get rejected? Maybe because I originally signed up with SA in the USA, and now it's suspicious that I am renewing my premium membership from China. Or, maybe because I was using a new card. Or, maybe because my billing address had changed from one USA Address to another USA Address. Or, maybe it's because I am using VPN. I don't know. When I was informed that my account was suspended, they had a list of possible reasons for the suspension, and none of it applied to me.

Anyway, I was annoyed for a little while, but now I am over it.

[Steve 9696]

This is going to sound a bit pathetic, but I actually feel a little sorry for her. Her dad got into an accident and died when she was a teenager, and her mom resents her for not being a boy (this is still a big deal in rural China, where she's from). And now, she works at least 60 hours a week and the best that she can do on the BF front is possibly me, a guy that cannot speak the language and is twice her age. I'm a sap for a sad story. Maybe we will fall hard for each other, and this will not end well. Oh well.

First of all so awesome to show this persistence and be rewarded. That is sooooo awesome. Congrats. Even tho the $200 is above market you care about her and wanted to do it. That's how SB is supposed to be! When I was seeing my local girl during Covid even tho we agreed $300, I kept leaving her $500 because she was out of work (hairdresser and stripper — neither a good Covid gig! It felt good. It's not transactional.

Suggest you put $ in a card with a little note. Or just a smiley face if you can't do the Chinese. It's a gift that way more than a transaction. Will just make her more comfortable.

[Midwestern]

Well done! You were a gentleman and got rewarded. Yeah, money is a tricky issue. In the past, in such tricky situations, I would ask "do you mind if I give a small gift, it will make me happy, I would be honored if you please accept it". That way, you make it a situation where she feels like she is making you happy by accepting the gift.

I might have given a smaller amount though. 200 is almost a weekly wage for her. I would have given a $100 in that situation. $200 for 2 hours is the allowance in even less expensive US cities, and is arguably a bit high for China. But then again, it is up to each of us how much to give in such situations.

This is going to sound a bit pathetic, but I actually feel a little sorry for her. Her dad got into an accident and died when she was a teenager, and her mom resents her for not being a boy (this is still a big deal in rural China, where she's from). And now, she works at least 60 hours a week and the best that she can do on the BF front is possibly me, a guy that cannot speak the language and is twice her age. I'm a sap for a sad story. Maybe we will fall hard for each other, and this will not end well. Oh well.

[PilotPaul]

I tried to kiss a migrant worker a few weeks ago, and she rejected me. This is after 6 months of very active flirting (a little in person, but mostly on text). So then, I finally decided to get a Premium Membership on SA. I haven't been active on SA for several years, but I decided to go for it again. However, to my shock, my payment was rejected and my account became suspended!

Good work. It does show how you need a variety of "irons in the fire" in order to bring enough opportunities to fruition.

In keeping with the topic of this forum, why do you think your account was cancelled and before that your payment denied?

I do think they have increased their site security and maybe they have notched up their car fraud settings ie less willing to tolerate multiple denied payments. For sure I think they have my regular IP address flagged as I have created and cancelled so many accounts over time.

Without giving away any specific details, did you use your regular spending card? Was it a new account? Was it a new seeking account you were paying? Anything special about your chosen email domain? Do you think it was your card issuer that denied the payment to seeking OR seeking that didn't process?

PP.

[Pessimist]

I tried to kiss a migrant worker a few weeks ago, and she rejected me. This is after 6 months of very active flirting (a little in person, but mostly on text). So then, I finally decided to get a Premium Membership on SA. I haven't been active on SA for several years, but I decided to go for it again. However, to my shock, my payment was rejected and my account became suspended!

So, feeling utterly frustrated, I decided to look up some of my old contacts. Had some okay success. Three of them are former pros that are now trying to make a new and legitimate life for themselves in the age of covid. Had a good time with 2 out of 3 (the other one just wasn't into it anymore and rushed me). I went to some MPs and was finally able to get FS from two of my regulars. This is the first time that these two in particular offered FS to me. MP gals have been desperate to make money to make up for lost time.

But the main reason for my post is because I finally made progress on another migrant worker. Later 20's. Not a stunner, but she's pretty. She's bubbly, which makes her even prettier to me. She works at the front desk of an office building. I get coffee in her building. She always smiles at me. I got her contact over a year ago, and have been flirting with her ever since (a little in person, but mostly on text). I have been quite forward with her, asking if we could meet at her place. She kept brushing it off politely. And I kept telling her that I loved her. And she'd always giggle at this.

Anyway, a couple of days ago, to my shock, she said we could meet at her place. Keep in mind that I've been hounding her for OVER a year, so I was really shocked. I tried hard to maintain my excitement, because we all know that these things often don't pan out. However, to my surprise, it worked out. We barebacked for 2 hours and it was blissful..

Well done! You were a gentleman and got rewarded. Yeah, money is a tricky issue. In the past, in such tricky situations, I would ask "do you mind if I give a small gift, it will make me happy, I would be honored if you please accept it". That way, you make it a situation where she feels like she is making you happy by accepting the gift.

I might have given a smaller amount though. 200 is almost a weekly wage for her. I would have given a $100 in that situation. $200 for 2 hours is the allowance in even less expensive US cities, and is arguably a bit high for China. But then again, it is up to each of us how much to give in such situations.

[Midwestern]

I tried to kiss a migrant worker a few weeks ago, and she rejected me. This is after 6 months of very active flirting (a little in person, but mostly on text). So then, I finally decided to get a Premium Membership on SA. I haven't been active on SA for several years, but I decided to go for it again. However, to my shock, my payment was rejected and my account became suspended!

So, feeling utterly frustrated, I decided to look up some of my old contacts. Had some okay success. Three of them are former pros that are now trying to make a new and legitimate life for themselves in the age of covid. Had a good time with 2 out of 3 (the other one just wasn't into it anymore and rushed me). I went to some MPs and was finally able to get FS from two of my regulars. This is the first time that these two in particular offered FS to me. MP gals have been desperate to make money to make up for lost time.

But the main reason for my post is because I finally made progress on another migrant worker. Later 20's. Not a stunner, but she's pretty. She's bubbly, which makes her even prettier to me. She works at the front desk of an office building. I get coffee in her building. She always smiles at me. I got her contact over a year ago, and have been flirting with her ever since (a little in person, but mostly on text). I have been quite forward with her, asking if we could meet at her place. She kept brushing it off politely. And I kept telling her that I loved her. And she'd always giggle at this.

Anyway, a couple of days ago, to my shock, she said we could meet at her place. Keep in mind that I've been hounding her for OVER a year, so I was really shocked. I tried hard to maintain my excitement, because we all know that these things often don't pan out. However, to my surprise, it worked out. We barebacked for 2 hours and it was blissful.

And then, as I was leaving, I had to make the big decision on whether or not to give her any money. I was really stuck. Didn't know what to do. But then she mentioned that she was meeting her friend for dinner, and so I gave her $200 and said it was for her dinner. She paused, so she wasn't expecting it, but then she took it and thanked me.

I'm hoping she will end up being a regular SB. Migrant workers make about $900-$1,200 per month. So, this should be a win-win for the both of us.

Hmmm, now that I think of it, maybe the reason she finally changed her mind is because she was sad recently. I asked her why and we texted back and forth, and I actually comforted her. Maybe because of this, she started seeing me in a different light. Anyway, I digress.

This entire post was slightly off topic, but thanks for reading.

[PilotPaul]

Does anyone know if in USA there's a specific brand single use credit / debit card that SA will accept?

BTW appears on your statements as w 8 tech.