Thread: Seeking Arrangements
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07-06-20 17:14 #624
Posts: 724Originally Posted by Steve9696 [View Original Post]
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07-06-20 15:50 #623
Posts: 2709Married and.
Originally Posted by PilotPaul [View Original Post]
So on this topic I am always honest. In general I try to be honest with the girls. Seems to pay off in the long run because there are no surprises or missed expectations. Actually I always have sex with my wedding ring on. LOL. So no lack of transparency here!
My second SB date ever ended up a sex-fail as a result of my status. But that was only because I was a newbie. Could totally have closed the deal now that I have the basics of game. She knew going in that I was married and was Ok with it. But when we first kissed at the restaurant bar she looked pensive and when I asked what she was thinking she said "I just realized I've never kissed a married man before!" We still continued our date and later made out at the rooftop bar and at her car. She was totally worked up at that point nearly eating my face and grabbing my package. But duh being totally unskilled at the time I let the moment pass. Oh well live and learn. She's the one that got away.
The other funny one was a girl that knew full well I was married and we met up near my home town. She came in pants and a frumpy jacket and large glasses. Total cold fish while drinking and having some snacks. When she was at the bathroom I regrouped in my head. Met it head on and said it seemed she didn't have chemistry with me and she's like "no I really like you and think you are super handsome. I just didn't want to get you in trouble in public. Is it OK if I kiss you?" (Yes). "want to come back to my apartment?" (Yes). And she turns out to be a tatted up stripper with a banging body underneath all that. Just was being nice! LOL.
Never a dull moment in SA land.
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07-06-20 14:05 #622
Posts: 487Originally Posted by Midwestern [View Original Post]
Another that worked for me in Philippines ie "Yes, I'm married in my home country and I'm single here". That usually got a laugh and the end of the topic.
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07-06-20 12:20 #621
Posts: 1202Originally Posted by PilotPaul [View Original Post]
Another option is to just say "let's keep it a mystery. ".
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07-06-20 09:11 #620
Posts: 487Originally Posted by Midwestern [View Original Post]
I have tried 'separated' with 'kid at home' which is a good cover for not hosting and not staying over at night. This makes the girl less cautious when out and about. I did juggle one girl for two years that I was 'separated' and it was stressful.
The girl that knows you are married will select restaurant tables that are obscured. She may even declare a her patch of town where she won't expect to find you and she won't venture into your 'patch'. The girl will also avoid calling you at family time or checking your phone or making too many enquires.
I have tried 'divorced' but I find that opens up discussions about what happened? The future, her story etc etc. Not a topic I like.
The girls that I am still rooting / friends / dinners with now I told from Day 1 that I was married. The girls that turn off at that point will have been a problem down the track.
The other thing is if the girl knows you are married and you then tell her you need to breakup so you can concentrate on your wife. The girl never comes back after that.
The secret of a +25 years of marriage is to choose wisely.
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07-06-20 06:45 #619
Posts: 1202What do you claim is your family situation?
After a few dates or once you are in an arrangement, the topic of whether you're married is usually asked, usually in casual conversation.
What is the optimal answer?
My friend who is on SA says that it is best is to say that you're divorced with one kid. This way, we look like normal guys. This is for guys in their 40's and 50's.
I used to say that I was divorced and single, to incentivise GFE. In the short run, it does work, but now I think the best thing is to tell them that you're married. Maybe she'll be disappointed at first, but it's best for the long run arrangement. So that she knows it's just an arrangement, and there is no disappointment later.
However, I am still torn. Tell them you're married or tell them you are divorced and single? Obviously, it doesn't matter what the truth is.
Any other opinions?
This is obviously is moot for one-offs or someone that you only will see a few times. This only applies to long term.
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07-04-20 03:11 #618
Posts: 1162Originally Posted by SonicBoom1 [View Original Post]
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07-03-20 22:17 #617
Posts: 126Originally Posted by Nounce [View Original Post]
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07-03-20 19:34 #616
Posts: 2933Originally Posted by PilotPaul [View Original Post]
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07-03-20 19:30 #615
Posts: 2933Originally Posted by Midwestern [View Original Post]
Cash is much more common than gift in that part of the world. Even in traditional marriage, male side will give female side a predetermined sum of money. You can check with your local friends to find out when bonus is given out. I think you just passed a significant one which is the dragon boat festival. Next possible one is the mid-autumn festival.
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07-03-20 03:31 #614
Posts: 1162Originally Posted by Midwestern [View Original Post]
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07-03-20 03:28 #613
Posts: 126Originally Posted by PilotPaul [View Original Post]
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07-03-20 03:25 #612
Posts: 126Originally Posted by Steve9696 [View Original Post]
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07-03-20 02:19 #611
Posts: 487Originally Posted by Midwestern [View Original Post]
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07-03-20 01:19 #610
Posts: 1202Thanks for the great suggestions and insights
Yeah, I'm not going to give up on her. She had sex with me because she likes me. That by itself makes her very valuable to me. Plus, she is young and pretty, she lives nearby, has her own place, and is willing to bareback.
Maybe I'll do some lunch dates and some cuddling before I try to get her back into the sack. Eventually, though, I want this to end up as an "arrangement. " I don't want her thinking that this could lead to marriage. And I think the main way to signal that is to give her cash. This will let her know that this is something in-between prostitution and a real relationship. Which is what we all want from an arrangement to begin with, right? BUT, the truth is, I really am giving her cash to help her out, not just for the sex. She mentioned to me once that she can barely make ends meet with her current job, and so she's been studying to become a florist (I have no idea how a florist makes more money than a receptionist). So, as suggested, whenever I give her cash, I will tell her it is to help her and that it makes me happy to help her.
I still cannot believe myself. I can't believe I just showed up at her door, took a shower, and started making out with her and then moved to DATY. She kept saying, "what are you doing?" But I just kept moving it along. With sex in multiple positions. I just replicated what I do when I visit an incall! And then, before I leave, I give her money. FLOL, man!! Wtf is wrong with me?! Just LOL, man. I must be really jaded. On her side, my inner Sigmund Freud is suggesting to me that because her dad died 10 years ago, when she was a teenager, she didn't want to disappoint me or say no, because maybe I am some sort of father figure to her or something.
Anyway, small update: I keep texting her. But she only replies with a smilely or a hug emoji. That's it. She's usually very chatty on text, because her job is incredibly boring. But now she is keeping it short. More than half the time, she just ignores my text. Yesterday, I offered to bring her lunch, and she just texted back with two words: "don't need. " And then I asked, "how about some fruit?" And she just texted back, "no. " But I will persist. I have nothing to lose now.
Thanks again for the encouragement and advice.