Seeking Arrangements

[Midwestern]

Yeah, you guys are totally right. I forgot about the category of SBs (and some WGs) that have decent jobs, but they just hook or SB on the side for some extra cash. In fact, these are specifically the ones that I searched for on SA.

Anyway, I just brought up the categories because I wanted to hear your thoughts on the gals that are good people, but they sell their bodies because they feel like they have no other choice in order to survive for themselves and / or for their family. I am regularly seeing several gals that fall into this category, and it is eating me up.

For example, they are single moms with no money and with very poor parents and are from a very rural part of the country. They leave their kids back home and come to the big city to sell their bodies to have enough money to take care of the family. I feel guilty about seeing them, because I feel like I am taking advantage of their bad situation in life. And because my situation is the opposite of theirs. I was born into a good family, and raised well. I am actually lazy and a loser, but because I have a college degree that my parents paid for, I am doing okay financially with a decent job. And so, I feel like I am bad person because I am taking advantage of good people. I did not deserve my good fate and they did not deserve their bad fates. Ironically, they are among the best WGs, SBs, GFs that I ever had.

[Pessimist]

I just want to finish up. With seeing other women, I NEVER thought it was wrong. It took longer to get to the point where I did not feel it was wrong, but being shamed has to do with not living up to my feelings but societal feelings. That is what you afraid of at work, the stress of being shamed. You are a guy, and the first thing a guy does with stress is say he can handle it. I was the EXACT same way. I am just telling you that once that stress was gone and that shame or fear of being shamed was gone it was an incredible relief. Maybe that is not you. I do not know. Just letting you know.

As for your depressed woman, is she bipolar do you think? When there is a hot chick with bouts of depression who is great in bed, I usually think that. I usually find women who are bipolar or ADHD have the best bodies. It is because they have to work out to be mentally normal I think. If she is manic depressive or bipolar, you can be nice to her, but it is probably not going to matter. They need crazy strong medicine to feel better.

So besides being the best looking, when bipolars are manic or women with ADHD being themselves, they are also very orgasmic with the bipolars winning out. I think my current gal has some ADHD but treats it with crazy long workouts.

So there is a stripper I used to see and do it the right way, PPM, and she is so damned good that I see every few weeks for a few months. She turns out to be bipolar, smokes weed, and that seems to control her mania. Still, we fuck and on average she would have 3 or 4 orgasms.

Well, I am sure there will be some loss of face in front of people who think I am respectable if they were to know I am fucking dozens of girls a year and still want more. But more importantly, I have a well paying gig and the culture in our partnership is to be buttoned down, no scandals etc. Perverted characters are not tolerated (perverted: their characterization, not me). There is zero upside and only downside to advertising my extra curricular activities.

Anyway, do we need to have a psycho analysis of why a married guy cheats? Really? Listen. I am married, I have kids, I have a nice job, I am a regular dude in the society but I have hormones. I am sure I am not alone in wanting to fuck as many as I want to. I will make it happen but I will not jeopardize the rest of my life, if I can help it.

I am not a huge expert on depression, bipolar etc. I am not a medical person. I did see one family member suffering through this, and that was more of GAD. I thought bipolar people would alternate between extreme feelings and expression of such extremes? For all I know, this chick is faking, who knows. I chatted with her for many years on and off, but met her only recently. I don't know for what purpose because I am not giving any extra money as a bonus for having depression. On a per meet basis, she works out cheaper than the college chick. Also, she is very pretty, she gives GFE but she is not that good in the mechanics (such as BJ). It is more of cuddly, kissy sex if that makes sense.

So far, this chick just goes into crying, a lot of ghosting, canceled dates etc. No screaming, no throwing stuff, no blackmailing and threats etc. But if it ever went in that direction, I will cut ties immediately. There are too many other girls and I will not risk my family life for this one chick.

[Elvis 2008]

I personally don't feel any shame. I am somewhat thin skinned in general and don't hold my tongue when someone needlessly attacks me. But like many mongers, I don't feel that fucking multiple girls is a bad thing morally or any other way, and no, I don't feel any shame whatsoever. But for practical reasons, I obviously want to keep this side of my life from people around me or work colleagues.

I just want to finish up. With seeing other women, I NEVER thought it was wrong. It took longer to get to the point where I did not feel it was wrong, but being shamed has to do with not living up to my feelings but societal feelings. That is what you afraid of at work, the stress of being shamed. You are a guy, and the first thing a guy does with stress is say he can handle it. I was the EXACT same way. I am just telling you that once that stress was gone and that shame or fear of being shamed was gone it was an incredible relief. Maybe that is not you. I do not know. Just letting you know.

As for your depressed woman, is she bipolar do you think? When there is a hot chick with bouts of depression who is great in bed, I usually think that. I usually find women who are bipolar or ADHD have the best bodies. It is because they have to work out to be mentally normal I think. If she is manic depressive or bipolar, you can be nice to her, but it is probably not going to matter. They need crazy strong medicine to feel better.

So besides being the best looking, when bipolars are manic or women with ADHD being themselves, they are also very orgasmic with the bipolars winning out. I think my current gal has some ADHD but treats it with crazy long workouts.

So there is a stripper I used to see and do it the right way, PPM, and she is so damned good that I see every few weeks for a few months. She turns out to be bipolar, smokes weed, and that seems to control her mania. Still, we fuck and on average she would have 3 or 4 orgasms.

So we go at it again. This time she is like having an orgasm every 5 seconds or practically throughout the whole act of sex. It was great, but we finish and I ask her what has changed. She tells me that she quit smoking weed, and I notice she is more manic. With bipolar, the mania gets going, then your body runs out of gas, and you fall off a cliff and get super depressed, and I saw that happening with her. So I gave her a little extra and told her, "Use that extra to buy yourself some weed. I think you need it."

[Steve 9696]

Steve,

You know I like the white girls and the Latinas. So tell me. Really, what is the percentage of those types on SA looking for daddies? I know you don't care for the "brancas", but you should at least have firsthand knowledge of how many are looking in a place like SA (or similar). Was funny because I was out at a bar the other night and there were some white college girls there telling me I was "hot", and one said "there goes my baby's daddy" hahaha! If I ever choose to go down this path, that's what I would want. White and Latina college girls only!

Don't worry there are plenty of those. I am chattting up a hot Mexican girl even as I write this. And actually in one city where I go I find the pickings with the white girls are better. Went off script w one and she became a reg. And I am actually seeing a white girl from 2019 soon who I got down with a couple times. Full disclosure both these white girls were strippers not deep college material but plenty of fun to hang with and bang with.

The way to do Seeking is to browse. Browsing is free. I only started paying when I hit a girl I simply had to have. This was prob after three months of browsing. So browse away. Just no chatting till you pay.

[Pessimist]

Oh the 550 is because she drives an hour and then back. The others are between 300 to 400 plus uber.

Personally, 300 or thereabouts should be sufficient to get many pretty white girls in the Tampa region. It is not an expensive city, and in any case I have had some personal experience there.

I think 350+ is justified only in big blue coastal cities like Boston, SF, NYC, DC, LA, etc. I stopped using SA in those places a couple of years ago. I had a few girls in Boston but has continued to decline steadily over time. I don't even try in SF or NYC. But 350 or less is plenty even in Miami, let alone Tampa in my view. Just have to hit up a lot of girls, hold firm. Eventually, you will have 5 to 10 who will agree.

Simply put, in a large city like Tampa there are enough pretty white girls to whom 300 is a good payday for spending 2 to 3 hours with a dude. Our job is to find them.

[NapataJohn]

Oh the 550 is because she drives an hour and then back. The others are between 300 to 400 plus uber.

[The Cane]

Yep. I'the say I like this category best. Four of my last five babies fall in this category. Sharp girls with real jobs or school but need extra income to live at some reasonable level. And I'the say 3 of the 5 (all black fwiw) are super sex positive. Like sex is awesome and why not have as much as possible. May as well make a buck while doing it. Smart modern girls. I really do dig them and in some way even admire them.

Steve,

You know I like the white girls and the Latinas. So tell me. Really, what is the percentage of those types on SA looking for daddies? I know you don't care for the "brancas", but you should at least have firsthand knowledge of how many are looking in a place like SA (or similar). Was funny because I was out at a bar the other night and there were some white college girls there telling me I was "hot", and one said "there goes my baby's daddy" hahaha! If I ever choose to go down this path, that's what I would want. White and Latina college girls only!

[Steve 9696]

I think you are ignoring a broad category that makes up a large percentage of the high-end escorts and Sugar Babies in large cities in the USA And some cities in Europe. The part-time lady who is actually majoring in a difficult subject at an expensive university, or has a pretty good (but not great) job in a very expensive to live-in city like NYC, and / or started in the first category and is disappointed with how low entry-level pay is in comparison to student loan debt in many professions (this lady won't start escorting or sugaring at that point in time, but if she did it in college she will still see her regulars). There are cities where the cost of living, particularly when education is factored in, are enormously expensive to live in, and very well-adjusted ladies do high-end sex work to keep from living in relative poverty and having to share space with lots of other girls, or beg from family.

Yep. I'the say I like this category best. Four of my last five babies fall in this category. Sharp girls with real jobs or school but need extra income to live at some reasonable level. And I'the say 3 of the 5 (all black fwiw) are super sex positive. Like sex is awesome and why not have as much as possible. May as well make a buck while doing it. Smart modern girls. I really do dig them and in some way even admire them.

[SfoCowboy]

I had an SB for over an year. A student who didn't want to take money from her parents. We had a ball for over an year but she ended up in a very good job post that. She is a good friend now and appreciates my 'help' when she needed it. A very rare trait. Not greedy at all. I've moved to a different country now. But whenever I visit sf she spends a good amount of time with me and she doesn't take any allowance. This is an investment that paid off.

I think there are 3 types of SBs and WGs.

(1) The ones who are young, hot, do not want to work hard, just want to make easy money and have fun.

(2) The ones who made the wrong choices in life. They use drugs, or picked a useless major in college, etc.

(3) The ones who ended up into a horrible situation. Their parents were losers or parents were drug users, or parents were uneducated, or they are from peasant families or just dirt poor, or maybe the husband is a deadbeat, or maybe they are a single mom, or maybe they suffer from a mental disease, etc.

I have no issues banging the chicks in the (1) and (2) categories.

However, I admire and feel sorry for the ones in the (3) category. And this is where I feel like a bad person. Because do they want to spread their legs to a stranger in his 50's? And so, I try to be generous with them, and sometimes I will help them out just without even meeting them. During the pandemic lockdown, I gave money to two gals that were desperate financially. Maybe I did it just to feel better about myself.

Sorry to be a downer. Just wanted to share this perspective to see what you guys think. I am sure some will emphathize with me and some will criticize me.

[Pessimist]

I think you are ignoring a broad category that makes up a large percentage of the high-end escorts and Sugar Babies in large cities in the USA And some cities in Europe. The part-time lady who is actually majoring in a difficult subject at an expensive university, or has a pretty good (but not great) job in a very expensive to live-in city like NYC, and / or started in the first category and is disappointed with how low entry-level pay is in comparison to student loan debt in many professions (this lady won't start escorting or sugaring at that point in time, but if she did it in college she will still see her regulars). There are cities where the cost of living, particularly when education is factored in, are enormously expensive to live in, and very well-adjusted ladies do high-end sex work to keep from living in relative poverty and having to share space with lots of other girls, or beg from family.

Honestly, just on the SA site alone, I met so many categories. Their stories are different, their reasons to be here are different. It is not so easy to put all these people into a few boxes, anymore than you can put all the mongers into 3 boxes. And I generally limit myself to less than 25, white / Latina, slim bodied girls. On SA, you find ladies into their 50's and 60's. Of all shapes, sizes, hues, etc. The college girl I met works hard, is supporting herself and funding own college, and estranged from parents. The Latina momma works and making some money on the side to augment income. The lesbians both work, didn't even need the money tbh, and were curious. I was offered a visual show by a IR couple with an option to participate for an extra 150. I don't know their financial situation or reasons. The depressed chick is neither destitute nor lazy, she just has issues. There is a flight attendant I was talking to who often has night stays and extended stays in Orlando and wants to hook up for fun and also make some spending money. The stories go on and on.

Also, more than half of all sugarbabes on the site are strictly platonic, and many of them are strictly online. I don't even talk to them as soon as I realize their angle. They may have their own stories and reasons to be on the site, which may be completely different from what I know.

The good thing about the site is it brings them together, lets them make their own private deals. As it should be.

[Mongerer88]

I think you are ignoring a broad category that makes up a large percentage of the high-end escorts and Sugar Babies in large cities in the USA And some cities in Europe. The part-time lady who is actually majoring in a difficult subject at an expensive university, or has a pretty good (but not great) job in a very expensive to live-in city like NYC, and / or started in the first category and is disappointed with how low entry-level pay is in comparison to student loan debt in many professions (this lady won't start escorting or sugaring at that point in time, but if she did it in college she will still see her regulars). There are cities where the cost of living, particularly when education is factored in, are enormously expensive to live in, and very well-adjusted ladies do high-end sex work to keep from living in relative poverty and having to share space with lots of other girls, or beg from family.

I think there are 3 types of SBs and WGs.

(1) The ones who are young, hot, do not want to work hard, just want to make easy money and have fun.

(2) The ones who made the wrong choices in life. They use drugs, or picked a useless major in college, etc.

(3) The ones who ended up into a horrible situation. Their parents were losers or parents were drug users, or parents were uneducated, or they are from peasant families or just dirt poor, or maybe the husband is a deadbeat, or maybe they are a single mom, or maybe they suffer from a mental disease, etc.

I have no issues banging the chicks in the (1) and (2) categories.

However, I admire and feel sorry for the ones in the (3) category. And this is where I feel like a bad person. Because do they want to spread their legs to a stranger in his 50's? And so, I try to be generous with them, and sometimes I will help them out just without even meeting them. During the pandemic lockdown, I gave money to two gals that were desperate financially. Maybe I did it just to feel better about myself..

[Pessimist]

Pessimist you and Steve write so well about the Pros and Cons of SA.

I stay in Florida near Tampa and have been seeing girls off SA. Usually white but some Latinas and mixed too.

The prices range from 300 to 550 for about 3 hours. For the lower end ones who do not drive I provide Uber up and down.

I have used SA for about 5 years too and used it in Dallas And LA.

Dallas the range was between 400 to 450 but here in FL it varies more depending on the need for money urgently for the girl.

I had some luck in the past in Tampa and Miami area. I am a bit surprised at your price ranges because even as a non Floridian who visited that area occasionally, I had good success at the 300 price point with good looking white girls. How many girls do you hit up? I'd say, be persistent. You may not close the deal with the hot chicks in the first try but sometimes they come around.

[Pessimist]

If you are looking for a physical outlet, why are you hanging out with this depressed chick? Isn't the real reason if you save her from her depression, your self-worth will go up and give your ego a boost? And do you need the ego boost because of all that shame?.

Sorry, didn't answer your question. The main reason is that she is super gorgeous to me and I like the GFE sex with her very much. If she was an average looker, I would still feel sorry for her and would wish her the best, but would not spending a lot of time texting to cheer her up. I am not a saint, for sure.

[Midwestern]

I think there are 3 types of SBs and WGs.

(1) The ones who are young, hot, do not want to work hard, just want to make easy money and have fun.

(2) The ones who made the wrong choices in life. They use drugs, or picked a useless major in college, etc.

(3) The ones who ended up into a horrible situation. Their parents were losers or parents were drug users, or parents were uneducated, or they are from peasant families or just dirt poor, or maybe the husband is a deadbeat, or maybe they are a single mom, or maybe they suffer from a mental disease, etc.

I have no issues banging the chicks in the (1) and (2) categories.

However, I admire and feel sorry for the ones in the (3) category. And this is where I feel like a bad person. Because do they want to spread their legs to a stranger in his 50's? And so, I try to be generous with them, and sometimes I will help them out just without even meeting them. During the pandemic lockdown, I gave money to two gals that were desperate financially. Maybe I did it just to feel better about myself.

Sorry to be a downer. Just wanted to share this perspective to see what you guys think. I am sure some will emphathize with me and some will criticize me.

[Pessimist]

Pessimist, I did the same thing as you, and you are probably like you can handle this stress, this playing with fire. I am not judging you, but this was stressful, and I felt if I was caught, I would be shamed. It sounds like you are doing this partly out of boredom and for the rush, but I think part of it might be to escape shame at least that is the way it was with me.

And when you snapped at those morons who called you a cheater, that told me that you are kind of carrying a lot of shame with you because it is the same response I would have given.

If you are looking for a physical outlet, why are you hanging out with this depressed chick? Isn't the real reason if you save her from her depression, your self-worth will go up and give your ego a boost? And do you need the ego boost because of all that shame?

I want people to have a blast when they hobby but when people use it as therapy, that is a bad trip. I know. I have been there.

As for sugar babies, the reason I used them is the sex was better but in most cases, the women would slack off, and I would dump them. One woman told me, "those bitches will always be there", and she was right. It was rare I ever missed a SB after I dumped them..

Hey Elvis,

Thanks for your thoughts. I am not trying to rescue the depressed chick. Yes, I am texting to her more than my normal. With most sugarbabes, there is a good amount of chat (either inside SA box, or on the phone) prior to the first sex session. After that, it is strictly "when shall we meet. OK that works for me. See you then at this place X", bye". For example, with this college chick I banged 2 days ago, I haven't exchanged any texts since then, and don't plan to, till the next time we try to meet. But the depressed chick is needing more pep talk and I am just trying to cheer her up. Partly because I have seen this in my extended family first hand and feel sorry for her. But my brain is still functional and I have not given her any extra money out of pity. If I extend my pep talk help to wallet help, you can call me crazy and that would be justified.

"when you snapped at those morons who called you a cheater, that told me that you are kind of carrying a lot of shame" - I don't know if I agree. I personally don't feel any shame. I am somewhat thin skinned in general and don't hold my tongue when someone needlessly attacks me. But like many mongers, I don't feel that fucking multiple girls is a bad thing morally or any other way, and no, I don't feel any shame whatsoever. But for practical reasons, I obviously want to keep this side of my life from people around me or work colleagues.