Seeking Arrangements

[Steve 9696]

I also asked my SBs to delete their profiles after we started an arrangement. They did. However, I later discovered they had multiple profiles, and they also listed their profiles on other sites.

I have to admit it surprises me — guys asking them to delete their profiles. I mean the point of SA is it's NSA. I feel like we shouldn't be demanding exclusivity of each other — it's not like we are getting married. And I'm not being exclusive so it seems a bit harsh to ask her to be.

I will admit I don't love it if I see a girl I am pretty regular with still on the prowl. And I surely don't want to hear about it. But these girls got to pay the rent and I'm not really their boyfriend. Anyhow I guess my philosophy is live and let live on this one.

[Gfefan]

I signed up on SA a few months ago but there were many who were obviously escorts. While I chatted up a few good ones, due to personal circumstances (plus annoyed by the escorts), I went off of it. I'm back on now. Chatted with over 40 profiles and weeded down to 4 leads. (10% hit rate; will be weeded down further).

Of the 4 leads worth pursuing, one is a 34 year old Pics looks like a 8; Single mom but just looking for some fun. Another is a 33 year old She was apparently in a serious relationship but broke up about a year ago. She just wants to have a 'man' occasionally. She has even shared her personal name, work place, phone number with me. Meeting her for a first M&G next weekend. Looking forward to it (but a bit wary that this one is coming off of a relationship. Let's see how it goes). Both these don't seem to be expecting anything in return other than taking them out for dinners / weekend getaways but will know more when I do M&G.

On the other end of spectrum, there are a couple of 20/22 y. o claiming to be students. Of course, I will screen them and test if they are really students but they keep directing to conversations around "gifts", "pamper me", "take care of me, I will take care of you" kind of things. Seems to be a significant difference in approach between the two demography.

I'm gradually getting back into the scene and I'm going to try both ends of the spectrum. Will circle back with detailed reports when things happen. I'm taking things slow and easy.

All said and done. I owe it to this forum and guidance from y'll veterans. Your tips / suggestions are much appreciated. Happy to contribute back to the forum.

[Gfefan]

I keep a scratch card kind of thing on a mongering email (which I access only through incognito windows which are password protected.

Every time I get a phone number or telegram or kik ID from the girl, I update the scratch card.

On and off seeking for the past two years. I'm wondering if you guys keep notes outside of the site and conversations?

I've found that:

If the girl deletes her profile then I cannot access the conversations.

If the girl I'm dating block my profile so I can't see her online, the direct URL still usually works.

Girls will sometime move there profile out of my city so they don't appear in searches and online statuses while allowing them to keep searching and conversing.

I have a password protected Word doc that keeps a list of their username, first name, profile URL, phone #, whatsapp etc. Pertinent notes.

One expectation I have with the girl that I ask them is that they will need to delete their profile when we start an arrangement. The stimulating ego trip of seeking is hard for girls to break when they think the next message will be from THE maserati driving sugar daddy of the seeking adverts.

[Midwestern]

One expectation I have with the girl that I ask them is that they will need to delete their profile when we start an arrangement. The stimulating ego trip of seeking is hard for girls to break when they think the next message will be from THE maserati driving sugar daddy of the seeking adverts.

I also asked my SBs to delete their profiles after we started an arrangement. They did. However, I later discovered they had multiple profiles, and they also listed their profiles on other sites.

[Midwestern]

There are plenty of rich girls on SA in the United States. By "plenty" I only mean maybe around 5% of them are pretty rich, but that is sitll a high fraction in my opinion. Whenever I looked at around one or two hundred profiles in one sitting, I would always come across at least a dozen rich gals. If you increase the age range to include 30's, 40's, and even 50's, there are even more rich girls, like maybe 15% of them.

Some of these rich gals are undergrads who come from wealthy families, but they just like having rich 40 year old SDs that will buy them LV purses and and clothes.

Some of these rich women make decent money in good jobs. I met an investment banker, a lawyer, a PE investor, a resaturant owner, etc. , on SA. Why were they on SA? Most of them liked the rich lifestyle and wanted a NSA relationships with someone that could partake in that lifestyle. I met one gal who was an exec at a firm. She had a big house, drove a fancy car, etc. I asked her why she was on SA, and she said she just wanted to date a rich and successful person, like herself.

Some of these rich gals are a little older, and so they already have the finer things in life, like a nice house, but they just like to fuck. I guess they could use Tinder or something else, and maybe they do, but some of them are also on SA to screen for successful men.

Are these rich gals good at being SBs? I found out that they cannot be generalized. Many of them did not care about the money, and most never asked me for any cash. That was the good part. However, here are some real lines that I got from some of them, "Let's get a suite at the Omni this weekend and do a staycation. " "LE'ts spend the weekend in Napa Valley. " "Let's try to get a dinner reservation at XXX (where XXX would be the hottest restaurant in town and a sure $1,000 dinner bill that included a bottle or two of wine and a tip). " They are used to this lifestyle, many could afford it themselves, but were just looking for a guy that could do it too. But some of them never asked for this stuff and never asked for cash or cared too much about the cash. So, it really varied.

[Pessimist]

Very interesting theory. I think ISG's emphasis on the third world gathers guys with a different viewpoint than most guys who mostly see USA Escorts.

If a young lady earns $100,000 a year, and also likes sex, why in the world would she not be interested in earning an additional $10,000 of cash income and gifts a year doing something that is not all that time consuming? It happens all of the time. .

I am sorry, but you are saying there are a lot of women making $100 K annually and still working as escorts? Where are you finding them?

I can believe that there is an occasional one you meet here or there, but "all the time".

One possible answer to your question: regardless of what we think on ISG, most of this US society looks down on prostitution. If a woman making $100 grand was founding to be hooking for money, she probably would be ostracized by her pals and peers and probably lose her job, in which case she would have lost $100 K job for an extra $10 K side gig.

Particularly so because jobs that pay $100 K tend to be white collar jobs requiring some education or degree (I am not talking about strippers making $100 K here), and this fear of ostracism is much higher in the educated, professional class, and so is the risk of job loss for that category.

This country has all sorts of protection from getting fired on the basis of race, religion, dadada, but not working as prostitutes or escorts.

[Mongerer88]

Maybe deep down inside, it felt weird to do P4 P with someone you respected intellectually. This happened to me a few times. One gal that I met on the site graduated from an Ivy League school, but majored in something brainy but totally useless. When we talked, I did not understand all the fancy words she used, and she used to quote Shakespeare a lot too, even though she was mostly math inclined. Eventually, it just felt weird to pay to fuck her. I did not feel superior. Eventually, we became whisky drinking buddies. I still keep in touch with her.

So for me, maybe I need the gal to worship me for me to get turned on.

Very interesting theory. I think ISG's emphasis on the third world gathers guys with a different viewpoint than most guys who mostly see USA Escorts.

I was intrigued by TJBrazil's skepticism about there being USA Nurse's and engineers on the SA site. If a young lady earns $100,000 a year, and also likes sex, why in the world would she not be interested in earning an additional $10,000 of cash income and gifts a year doing something that is not all that time consuming? It happens all of the time. Some of those potential ladies escort, but that requires a lot more effort, upfront cost, and chance of obvious discovery than SA. It is a dream come true for them. They are going on a date. I also did not understand TJBrazil's belief that the gift section of SA somehow substituted for a "date fee", or that it was there to provide additional legal protection. It is designed as an additional gift. It is not illegal in the USA To purchase the time and companionship of an escort, and it is certainly not illegal to pay someone to go on a date. Direct cash for sex is illegal, and soliciting sex for cash is illegal (which is the basis for almost all USA Prostitution arrests, since directly proving that sex occurs is very difficult).

[BrizLad]

On and off seeking for the past two years. I'm wondering if you guys keep notes outside of the site and conversations?

I've found that:

If the girl deletes her profile then I cannot access the conversations.

If the girl I'm dating block my profile so I can't see her online, the direct URL still usually works.

Girls will sometime move there profile out of my city so they don't appear in searches and online statuses while allowing them to keep searching and conversing.

I have a password protected Word doc that keeps a list of their username, first name, profile URL, phone #, whatsapp etc. Pertinent notes.

One expectation I have with the girl that I ask them is that they will need to delete their profile when we start an arrangement. The stimulating ego trip of seeking is hard for girls to break when they think the next message will be from THE maserati driving sugar daddy of the seeking adverts.

[Midwestern]

And every girl but a pro has had beaten into them their entire life that sex for money is wrong. You want to help her NOT feel like a pro or a ****. So that's why it's all indirect.

They need to rationalize in their minds that it's not money for sex. Your job is to help them.

I currently have that now with someone. When we meet to fuck, I never give her any money. But every once in a while, she will say that she needs something, like a hair dryer or makeup or a blanket. I ask her how much it costs, and I pay for it. In her mind, I am her boyfriend, and so I should take care of her sometimes.

BTW, I raw dogged her in the ass today. Is that dangerous disease-wise?

[Midwestern]

So after you have had a nice meal and some drinks and the chemistry is there, what's your favorite way to suggest you go fuck? Without saying "let's go fuck". My tried and true had been to look her in the eyes and say "You want to get out of here?" Thought that was pretty much code for let's go fuck.

Man, I wish I had a go to closer line. I just try to get drunk with the gal, and most of the time that just naturally leads to something. But usually something like "let's go the room and hang out and drink there, it is more comfortable" usually works. I am pretty sure every girl knows what I am getting at when I say this, but at least it sounds plausible and not offensive.

[Midwestern]

I once did meet a cute blonde who was a physics and engineering student, as she represented. It was during a travel away from my home city. I have a lot of background in those areas and we met for dinners on 3 straight evenings and talked for hours about those fields; she was extremely bright. I never got the courage to ask her to my room or make a move for sex; seemed too disrespectful somehow. I gave her a couple of hundred dollars as gift on the last evening. She refused to take it at first but I insisted and she was happy. To this day, I don't know why she was on the site. I sometimes wonder if I should have made a move on her, she was quite cute and I had more bonding with her in those 3 dinners than with girls I had sex multiple times, but it kinda remains as a regret now. At that time, I didn't want to spoil it; strange because I had not been that tongue tied when it comes to sex since I was a gawky teen.

Maybe deep down inside, it felt weird to do P4 P with someone you respected intellectually. This happened to me a few times. One gal that I met on the site graduated from an Ivy League school, but majored in something brainy but totally useless. When we talked, I did not understand all the fancy words she used, and she used to quote Shakespeare a lot too, even though she was mostly math inclined. Eventually, it just felt weird to pay to fuck her. I did not feel superior. Eventually, we became whisky drinking buddies. I still keep in touch with her.

So for me, maybe I need the gal to worship me for me to get turned on.

[Pessimist]

So after you have had a nice meal and some drinks and the chemistry is there, what's your favorite way to suggest you go fuck? Without saying "let's go fuck". My tried and true had been to look her in the eyes and say "You want to get out of here?" Thought that was pretty much code for let's go fuck.

Then I had the date with Sue, the 22 year old who was totally shocked we went to a hotel room (but I got a BJ if you recall). I later asked her about this and she said "you want to get out of here" is like go to another bar or something. She'the say "you want to link up?" But when I read on the internet this is pretty much not code. It's like saying you want to fuck?

I don't think I am "cool" enough to use "want to link up" and will stick with old faithful but it got me curious because there def is a generation gap here. I find they also put their smiley text backward too! Like this (: Damn kids!

What's your "want to fuck" line at the bar or dinner table?

I don't know that I have any such lines. As you can probably tell, I am sort of transaction oriented, not too much emotion type person; I ask them what they are ok with, what is off limits, what they don't want or like etc. , and it becomes obvious whether sex is on the table or not, but I want them to say it, not me; then I tell them I am willing to give an allowance of $x but also make it clear I don't give money for casual dates like movies, dinners, etc, so it is clear to them that amount is for sex. Finally, I say if you are happy and continue to see each other, perhaps we can meet at this hotel because my place is off limits. Almost everyone gets the drift.

Only once it failed spectacularly. I had a girl who came to my hotel past 11 PM, took a cab to come to my room, we sat around chatting for half hour, had a quick drink in my room, got on my bed and making out, heavy kissing and petting, I had her tits out and she says "you know we are not having sex right". I am like "why the fuck are you here then and why are your tits in my mouth" - she was "but you never specified sex". I got frustrated, told her to leave because I wanted to sleep, and she was expecting the full amount; I gave her a $100 and said that's it. She was upset and let in a huff, and I slept with blue balls. IIRC that was in Atlanta or somewhere in the south and may be 3 or 4 years ago. She was pretty hot however.

[WyattEarp]

So after you have had a nice meal and some drinks and the chemistry is there, what's your favorite way to suggest you go fuck? Without saying "let's go fuck". My tried and true had been to look her in the eyes and say "You want to get out of here?" Thought that was pretty much code for let's go fuck.

Then I had the date with Sue, the 22 year old who was totally shocked we went to a hotel room (but I got a BJ if you recall). I later asked her about this and she said "you want to get out of here" is like go to another bar or something. She'the say "you want to link up?" But when I read on the internet this is pretty much not code. It's like saying you want to fuck?

I don't think I am "cool" enough to use "want to link up" and will stick with old faithful but it got me curious because there def is a generation gap here. I find they also put their smiley text backward too! Like this (: Damn kids!

What's your "want to fuck" line at the bar or dinner table?

"You want to get out of here?" might be a bit vague for some girls. I'm not a SA pro like you and many here, but my line is something like "Do you want to come back to my place and relax? Yes it's more direct, but it seems more clear of your intent.

Of course, you will have girls who later think they are at your place to literally relax. Haha. That's where your "nanpa" skills come into play. Haha, it's Steve who has the last laugh. I instinctively knew about nanpa, but I didn't know specifically of the nanpa dance. In retrospect, when I hooked up with a reluctant girl I was using nanpa. When I had a girl at my place late at night and nothing happened, I was failing to use the nanpa techniques.

[Akibono]

So after you have had a nice meal and some drinks and the chemistry is there, what's your favorite way to suggest you go fuck? Without saying "let's go fuck". My tried and true had been to look her in the eyes and say "You want to get out of here?" Thought that was pretty much code for let's go fuck.

Then I had the date with Sue, the 22 year old who was totally shocked we went to a hotel room (but I got a BJ if you recall). I later asked her about this and she said "you want to get out of here" is like go to another bar or something. She'the say "you want to link up?" But when I read on the internet this is pretty much not code. It's like saying you want to fuck?

I don't think I am "cool" enough to use "want to link up" and will stick with old faithful but it got me curious because there def is a generation gap here. I find they also put their smiley text backward too! Like this (: Damn kids!

What's your "want to fuck" line at the bar or dinner table?

Tough call. I would use: "Want to go to a place with more privacy?" You want to be a bit ambiguous and test the waters without either side embarrassing themselves. NYC is a hard place since everything is expensive, but what is popular now are rooftop bars. Generally, these are places with a bit of privacy at night. They are getting more common in other cities and may have some loud music which also helps. I know a few places where they have become make out sessions. This is the perfect setup. If you sit close to the girl, you can sense the comfort level and maybe even get in a few kisses. Her reaction when you hold her hand is also a good indication if she is receptive. Body language is the key, not what is said. That is the perfect opportunity to seek some privacy and she will know what it means. It gives her the option to accept, delay or end the date. I have not been reliably able to bring up the issue without appearing too crude, but I am getting better at it.

[Steve 9696]

So after you have had a nice meal and some drinks and the chemistry is there, what's your favorite way to suggest you go fuck? Without saying "let's go fuck". My tried and true had been to look her in the eyes and say "You want to get out of here?" Thought that was pretty much code for let's go fuck.

Then I had the date with Sue, the 22 year old who was totally shocked we went to a hotel room (but I got a BJ if you recall). I later asked her about this and she said "you want to get out of here" is like go to another bar or something. She'the say "you want to link up?" But when I read on the internet this is pretty much not code. It's like saying you want to fuck?

I don't think I am "cool" enough to use "want to link up" and will stick with old faithful but it got me curious because there def is a generation gap here. I find they also put their smiley text backward too! Like this (: Damn kids!

What's your "want to fuck" line at the bar or dinner table?