Seeking Arrangements

[Steve 9696]

Yes, several SBs eventually discovered my true identity. Here's how. (1) Sometimes, when I was drunk, I would use my real name accidentally, especially when I was telling a story that happened to me. I think most people don't realize how often they refer to themselves in the third person. (2) One time, on the TV of the hotel, it had my name on it, something like, "Welcome Midwestern. We hope you enjoy your stay. " (3) The bartender or waitress, when returning my credit card, would say, "Thank you Mr. Midwestern. Hope you have a nice rest of the evening. Please come again. " Jeezus, this happened a lot.

(4) You may run into someone that knows you. That happened once. (5) One time, when I opened a new social app on my phone, it was flooded with possible contacts. Apparently, one of my SBs also got a message saying that "Your contact Midwestern has joined blah blah blah. Would you like to connect to him?" I have no idea how that happened, but I guess apps can speak to each other. I was using a different app to communicate with her. (6) Eventually, you reveal too much about yourself, so a clever gal can start putting pieces together and do an internet search. I know this is true because several of my SBs viewed my LinkedIn profile. I asked one of them about it, and she said that it was easy to figure out who I was.

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These are all real risks. The social accounts one is deadly if you ever use your real phone with them (never do of course). I only discovered this recently. Those apps look through your contacts and suggest friends based on that. I was surprised to learn 5+ girls real names when I installed Facebook on my burner phone recently. Plus two via instagram and one via Snapchat.

Obviously I have no interest and don't even tell them since they will need to disown you at that point.

I do have my first SB inviting me to her place which is nice. I don't see how they risk it but I guess you take a lot of life risks at 23. We're all lucky to be alive I'd wager.

Oh and here is an easy mistake to make! I was curious to check out one girl who clearly was a white color professional not my usual hairdresser. So I looked at her linked in. Damn. Only realized after I did it I probably just outed myself, cuz she’ll see I looked at her profile. Damn. Got to be more careful.

[Pessimist]

Yes, several SBs eventually discovered my true identity. Here's how. (1) Sometimes, when I was drunk, I would use my real name accidentally, especially when I was telling a story that happened to me. I think most people don't realize how often they refer to themselves in the third person. (2) One time, on the TV of the hotel, it had my name on it, something like, "Welcome Midwestern. We hope you enjoy your stay. " (3) The bartender or waitress, when returning my credit card, would say, "Thank you Mr. Midwestern. Hope you have a nice rest of the evening. Please come again. " Jeezus, this happened a lot.

(4) You may run into someone that knows you. That happened once. (5) One time, when I opened a new social app on my phone, it was flooded with possible contacts. Apparently, one of my SBs also got a message saying that "Your contact Midwestern has joined blah blah blah. Would you like to connect to him?" I have no idea how that happened, but I guess apps can speak to each other. I was using a different app to communicate with her. (6) Eventually, you reveal too much about yourself, so a clever gal can start putting pieces together and do an internet search. I know this is true because several of my SBs viewed my LinkedIn profile. I asked one of them about it, and she said that it was easy to figure out who I was..

That's unfortunate. I have been quite careful to hide my identity so far. Not sure if any one figured me out but if they did, they have not told me yet. Recently, I met this girl for a pre arrangement get to know lunch. As I signed the check and was leaving, she claimed she wanted to sit there for a few more minutes and look at her messages and I should leave. I was not happy because I had signed the credit card bill and had my name on it and she could easily figure me out. I walked up to the waitress a few tables from me and asked her to take away my signed check right away and as soon as I got into my car, I blocked that girl on both my phone and SA. Bye bye, don't need any such risks.

Some girls have voluntarily disclosed their real identities. I met a few sugar babes in their own homes and fucked on their own beds. But I made it clear they can expect no such reciprocity from me.

[Midwestern]

Yes, several SBs eventually discovered my true identity. Here's how. (1) Sometimes, when I was drunk, I would use my real name accidentally, especially when I was telling a story that happened to me. I think most people don't realize how often they refer to themselves in the third person. (2) One time, on the TV of the hotel, it had my name on it, something like, "Welcome Midwestern. We hope you enjoy your stay. " (3) The bartender or waitress, when returning my credit card, would say, "Thank you Mr. Midwestern. Hope you have a nice rest of the evening. Please come again. " Jeezus, this happened a lot.

(4) You may run into someone that knows you. That happened once. (5) One time, when I opened a new social app on my phone, it was flooded with possible contacts. Apparently, one of my SBs also got a message saying that "Your contact Midwestern has joined blah blah blah. Would you like to connect to him?" I have no idea how that happened, but I guess apps can speak to each other. I was using a different app to communicate with her. (6) Eventually, you reveal too much about yourself, so a clever gal can start putting pieces together and do an internet search. I know this is true because several of my SBs viewed my LinkedIn profile. I asked one of them about it, and she said that it was easy to figure out who I was.

Hi.

I'm curious about your sentence that any SB will eventually find your true identity. Why do you feel that way and did that happen to you. You didn't say *a few SBs may* find your identity, you said *any regular SB will*.

Did this happen to you in your own arrangements?

I had several dozens of arrangements over a few years, some lasting just a few meets and some lasted many months but don't believe that my identity was ever compromised. I do have a lot to lose as I am married and it can be expensive and painful in many ways for my identity to come out but touch wood that hasn't happened yet.

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[Pessimist]

Steve's advice about pics is a very good one. But definitely only show your pic when it is requested. Don't just display it for anyone to see. I also had a pic on my bio, but only showed it when I was sure the person was not someone that I knew from work or from my circle of friends. It would be embarrassing if my coworker or my friend's daughter saw my pic on that site. I realize that you can look at their pics to make sure they are someone you don't know, but you should ask additional questions to make sure you don't run in the same circles. I had one date that actually used to work for the same company that I worked for, and so we did know many people in common. That said, one thing to keep in mind is that eventually, any regular SB will find out your true identity somehow. This was another reason why I eventually quit the site..

Hi.

I'm curious about your sentence that any SB will eventually find your true identity. Why do you feel that way and did that happen to you. You didn't say *a few SBs may* find your identity, you said *any regular SB will*.

Did this happen to you in your own arrangements?

I had several dozens of arrangements over a few years, some lasting just a few meets and some lasted many months but don't believe that my identity was ever compromised. I do have a lot to lose as I am married and it can be expensive and painful in many ways for my identity to come out but touch wood that hasn't happened yet.

[Pessimist]

I have been SA for a number of years. I disagree with the pricing info presented. First, I am patient. I indicate my interest to hundreds of girls, especially because I am seeking white or Latino girls in the 20-25 group that are slim and reasonably pretty faces. I tend to chat for sometime to get to know them. I'm sure some are lying and BS'ing but it is easy to get a sense of if they are total liars. A girl can't tell me she is studying Finance or Chemistry or Political Science at the local university in town and for me not to sniff out if she is a prostitute instead who never finished high school. I am not one of those who interrogate FKK girls when they say they are Spanish or Italian whether they are actually that, or Romies as they most likely are. But truth matters somewhat on SA. Anyway, between chatting on the site, texting later on phone, and meeting for a lunch, I get a good sense of the girl. I happen to be in a reasonably inexpensive city. Still large enough. The range is always 200 to 300. The only times I went above 300 was when I traveled outside my city, especially in the expensive ones like Boston. I gave the stunning Ukrainian girl 250 for example, and I spent nearly 6 hours each time we met. A couple of hours of sex, and the rest in restaurants, drinks etc. She was 22 and absolutely one of the most wonderful lovers I have ever had, true GFE. Unfortunately, she went back to her home after a few weeks but those were special weeks for me. Yes, many girls do ask for more but I politely decline. Some come back with a better offer, some may walk away. That's alright. The key to SA is to be patient. I cannot overemphasize that. You have all the time in the world. And there are plenty of girls. No single girl is a must do girl. Be polite, be firm, be prepared to walk away. With some girls I spent multiple platonic dates and felt really nice about them, and then prices did not match and I had to walk away. In those situations it can feel terrible because you feel like you made a connection. But I say, be firm and walk away. Stay with your pricing discipline.

I have never given any cash for a platonic date like first time meet and greet coffee. This is again one of those things I am very firm on.

The thing is that in your first few months, this can be frustrating. You may have a sense of urgency, that you did not close enough deals so to speak. Don't rush. You will live for a long time (god and corona willing). After you have been on SA for multiple years, you will accumulate a large number of contacts and things become easier.

Right now, things are horrible in the US. In the last few weeks, millions are losing jobs. Sugar babes are in absolute panic. I am being very cautious and not looking to meet, as I am not that young anymore and could be risky. Some sugar babes are also scared a bit to meet. But the quantity and quality of sugar babes seeking has exploded up. Even if I was not reading newspapers, I feel like I could have read the economic state of union in the country by looking at the sugar babe site LOL.

[Pessimist]

You left out one group. That would be the 40+ women. Ready to drop them panties and throw them legs wide open again! Hahaha! Don't know how many 40+ women are on SA. But, I'm just saying in general LOL! Plenty of 40+ women trying to make up for "lost time" and ready to be more sexually liberated.

Yeah, there are quite a few. I tend to do my searches with specific age, body type, ethnicity and other attributes but if I relaxed the criteria, the number of seeking women tends to increase more than ten fold. Normally, I have on any given night, roughly 120 to 180 women with strict criteria online at the moment I am (less than 25, slim / curvy, white or Latino, etc). This is in my home town.

[Pessimist]

How often does the person not match their photos? Any other things to worry about?

Photos match. Some look worse than their photos, but a whole bunch of girls also look much better than their photos. These are not professional girls and don't have carefully photoshopped pics. One of my girls had really GND pics on the site and she was much better in person. I told her as we were leaving the room that she looks much better than her photos and she texted me later that night I made her week with my compliment. She is a pretty simple girl, not a lot of pretense. On our next meet, I took a photo of her with my iPhone and texted her saying if she continued to be on the site, she should use it. Once I had a Ukrainian girl who was in my city for a few months of exchange school. She was absolutely stunning in person but her photos were just blah.

[Pessimist]

Finally going on my first date. I find the process quite awkward since I am new to this. My main concern is not being stuck with a skanky ho or being robbed. In the states, you have to worry more about scams. We agreed to meet at a place for a bite or drink and then go up to the hotel. How is payment typically handled? I presume you pay at the beginning, but I am a bit concerned that the gal will grab the money and run and I will have to face her pimp. But I also understand that the girl does not want to be stiffed too. I never have problems with escorts because they know the drill. I am going to put the money out and she can take it when she leaves. I think that is a good compromise. What do you think are some risks I am not aware of? I am single so I am not worried about them knowing my name, but I am a bit concerned about my car since plates can easily be traced. Don't want strangers showing up at my place. Not cool.

Sorry, was not checking this thread as there is not a whole lot of traffic. I usually spend most of my time in the German FKK threads. But I am not sure I agree with your implication about pimp. I don't think I had any arrangement with a prostitute. I tend to meet them at least once or even multiple times for lunches or drinks / coffee etc. I think you will get to know what type of girl she is, and whether she is a prostitute. Yes, they have sex for money but prostitute is not what I would call them in that they are not ready to have sex with multiple partners they do not get attracted to, just for the money.

Anyway, except once or twice, I have never given money to the girl before sex. When I did give the money upfront, it was on the road in a different city from my home town, and I was turned off and never saw her again. Most do not have any problem, and almost none of them count the money either. There is an implicit trust. By the same token, I do not ask for a detailed list of sex acts she will be OK with or not OK with. This is not going to the room with a FKK girl, and asking if she will kiss, or provide BBBJ in the 50 E price. I don't even think I asked them if they are OK with sex. When we meet and talk, and she asks what I am looking for, I will say I am hoping to get to know her more and perhaps we can spend some quiet time in the next meet and I suggest we can meet for a second lunch and go to a hotel. She will understand what I have in mind.

Also, is it so easy to trace you with your plates? I thought only Law enforcement had access to that info.

[Midwestern]

Steve's advice about pics is a very good one. But definitely only show your pic when it is requested. Don't just display it for anyone to see. I also had a pic on my bio, but only showed it when I was sure the person was not someone that I knew from work or from my circle of friends. It would be embarrassing if my coworker or my friend's daughter saw my pic on that site. I realize that you can look at their pics to make sure they are someone you don't know, but you should ask additional questions to make sure you don't run in the same circles. I had one date that actually used to work for the same company that I worked for, and so we did know many people in common. That said, one thing to keep in mind is that eventually, any regular SB will find out your true identity somehow. This was another reason why I eventually quit the site.

Clearly this helps establish they are legit. But for those that need to be discreet, having a picture of you holding a girls name floating around is discretion suicide. So I would be cautious with this method.

I personally have had no problem with a girl not matching her pics in my 20 ish dates to date. But I should say the girls I meet with are very "real" and would never meet up without the guy sending as pic. In fact I can usually tell an escort because she doesn't ask for pics as early as a fresh girl would. But clearly no pic works for midwestern so YMMV. And of course I'm trying to get 23 year olds and they have a ton of options.

My pic advice is use a public facing pic from like Facebook or somewhere, but TAKE A PICTURE of it and send that. That way if there is ever a leak you have plausible deniability because it's public and yet untraceable because you took a snap of it and it's a whole different set of pixels than what Facebook and Google image indexer has.

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[Steve 9696]

In my experience, you are quite correct.

We all tweak information and pictures a bit, in the direction needed.

I use to move the discussion to Whatsapp or similar ASAP and after that, I use to send the girl a picture I shoot, holding a hand written note saying for example "Hi Cindy! Where "Cindy" is her name (of course) and asking her to do the same.

I happened only once that the girl refused to do that.

Clearly this helps establish they are legit. But for those that need to be discreet, having a picture of you holding a girls name floating around is discretion suicide. So I would be cautious with this method.

I personally have had no problem with a girl not matching her pics in my 20 ish dates to date. But I should say the girls I meet with are very "real" and would never meet up without the guy sending as pic. In fact I can usually tell an escort because she doesn't ask for pics as early as a fresh girl would. But clearly no pic works for midwestern so YMMV. And of course I'm trying to get 23 year olds and they have a ton of options.

My pic advice is use a public facing pic from like Facebook or somewhere, but TAKE A PICTURE of it and send that. That way if there is ever a leak you have plausible deniability because it's public and yet untraceable because you took a snap of it and it's a whole different set of pixels than what Facebook and Google image indexer has.

[SavePros321]

In my experience, you are quite correct.

We all tweak information and pictures a bit, in the direction needed.

I use to move the discussion to Whatsapp or similar ASAP and after that, I use to send the girl a picture I shoot, holding a hand written note saying for example "Hi Cindy! Where "Cindy" is her name (of course) and asking her to do the same.

I happened only once that the girl refused to do that.

I always tell them that in order to see what I look like they will have to video chat with me either via FaceTime or something like Google Duo (does Whatsapp have video chat?

Don't fall for exchanging photos via text. She could just send you a fake photo, and if you sent a real photo of you then you look like a chump. Video chat is the best verification tool we've been blessed with in this lifetime.

[SavePros321]

I think almost everyone uses incorrect date of birth and slightly incorrect location. Most girls over 30 will shave some years off their age. Most guys over mid-40's will also shave some years off their age too. From my experience, almost everyone lies about location and uses a nearby location. Most guys also lie about their wealth. Most guys also exaggerate their height. Many girls lie about their body shape. Some gals lie about their education. Almost every gal will use either a photoshopped pic, or a pic that is from some years ago. This is why you need to do a meet and greet. Hoping for instant gratification is not what this site is supposed to be about (but you can get lucky of course). Finally, as for posting a fake pic, well, that one is a toughie. I don't think guys need to post any pic because we are the ones paying them, not other way around. If the girl won't agree to meet you without seeing your pic, just move on to the next gal. Using a fake pic may be rejected by the SA admins anyway, especially if you use a pic from the internet.

Good post. If you want to give a general idea of what you look like, you can always just blur or blackout your face using apps like Blur Photo (iPhone). As I mentioned before, it's like how escorts used to hide their faces on an escort site; they have the goods that you want. On SB websites, it is the man that has the goods (money) that the women want (especially now since a lot of them are or will be out of work due to all that is going on). You as the man have the upper hand in this situation. Use it to your advantage.

[Blue Swede]

I think almost everyone uses incorrect date of birth and slightly incorrect location. Most girls over 30 will shave some years off their age. Most guys over mid-40's will also shave some years off their age too. From my experience, almost everyone lies about location and uses a nearby location. Most guys also lie about their wealth. Most guys also exaggerate their height. Many girls lie about their body shape. Some gals lie about their education. Almost every gal will use either a photoshopped pic, or a pic that is from some years ago. This is why you need to do a meet and greet. Hoping for instant gratification is not what this site is supposed to be about (but you can get lucky of course). Finally, as for posting a fake pic, well, that one is a toughie. I don't think guys need to post any pic because we are the ones paying them, not other way around. If the girl won't agree to meet you without seeing your pic, just move on to the next gal. Using a fake pic may be rejected by the SA admins anyway, especially if you use a pic from the internet.

In my experience, you are quite correct.

We all tweak information and pictures a bit, in the direction needed.

I use to move the discussion to Whatsapp or similar ASAP and after that, I use to send the girl a picture I shoot, holding a hand written note saying for example "Hi Cindy! Where "Cindy" is her name (of course) and asking her to do the same.

I happened only once that the girl refused to do that.

[Midwestern]

Thank you for posting. Do they do any verification on the man. Location / salary / age / photo / Facebook / Linkedin?

I might be tempted to use a lookalike photo, incorrect date of birth, incorrect location so wouldn't want them to check these things.

I think almost everyone uses incorrect date of birth and slightly incorrect location. Most girls over 30 will shave some years off their age. Most guys over mid-40's will also shave some years off their age too. From my experience, almost everyone lies about location and uses a nearby location. Most guys also lie about their wealth. Most guys also exaggerate their height. Many girls lie about their body shape. Some gals lie about their education. Almost every gal will use either a photoshopped pic, or a pic that is from some years ago. This is why you need to do a meet and greet. Hoping for instant gratification is not what this site is supposed to be about (but you can get lucky of course). Finally, as for posting a fake pic, well, that one is a toughie. I don't think guys need to post any pic because we are the ones paying them, not other way around. If the girl won't agree to meet you without seeing your pic, just move on to the next gal. Using a fake pic may be rejected by the SA admins anyway, especially if you use a pic from the internet.

[DramaFree11]

Thank you for posting. Do they do any verification on the man. Location / salary / age / photo / Facebook / Linkedin?

I might be tempted to use a lookalike photo, incorrect date of birth, incorrect location so wouldn't want them to check these things.

They say, that the screen, but many fake profiles, so always assume worst.