Puerto Vallarta

[Skug37]

Good report, Skug. You gave helpful updates on some of the old haunts and info on places that I don't remember being reviewed here before.

If you got your last-minute deal to PV at a place other than Priceline, I hope you can reveal it.

I'm glad Las Antorchas is still open, for those of us who like daytime action.

As you exit La Zona, which side of the street and in which direction is Tierra y Mar?

And where is El y Ella?

Hey Duke,

I always like your articles because they’re very informative.

I got my last minute deal to Vallarta from Travelocity believe it or not. I was checking for prices to go back to either El Salvador or Colombia, but couldn’t find any competitive prices.

As you leave La Zona, you go to the right, and then it’s about an equivalent of 6 blocks or so, and then you’ll come to a street where you take a left, and Tierra Y Mar is just straight ahead a few blocks. I realize that this is very vague, but I don’t know the name of the street since I’m always really drunk when leaving from Tierra Y Mar. I usually get there about 5:00 or so, and it is always hopping. I’m never quite sure if the women at Tierra Y Mar are for hire or not, and I’ve never really tried since my immediate plans are always to go to La Zona. This was the first time that I went to the place across the street from Tierra Y Mar. It appeared to be a very cool place. The women were really hot, and obviously seemed for hire since I noticed lots of customers rubbing their asses and what not while dancing with them. Plus, not only a Cab Driver, but also one of the posts here had said that the waitresses there are hookers.

El Y Ella is in an area called La Curva. I don’t know exactly what part of town it’s in, since I had always gone there after drinking a lot in La Zona. In years past, I remember it being about a 40 or 50 peso cab ride from La Zona. Last time I was there was a few years ago, and the price for a woman was about 600-700 pesos. It was a tad bit more upscale than La Zona, but not to the point where it is ridiculously expensive. You also have lots of negotiating power there, since Conejitas was (and maybe still is) right next door. They are both strip clubs. As you leave El y Ella, Conejitas is to the left, however if you go to the right, and walk about a block, there was (and maybe still is) a pool hall bar where the waitresses can also be easily bought. They charge about 60 pesos to buy one of the waitresses a beer, and full service (although they don’t have rooms at that particular bar) is about 500 pesos.

Oh, and I almost forgot. Some waiter at a restaurant told me that Antorchas has the most amount of women there on Wednesdays, since apparently that is the day that a Cruise Ship comes in. He said that most of the women that go there are from La Zona, so La Zona is normally dead on Wednesdays.

Hope this info helps, and happy mongering.

EDITOR'S NOTE: I certainly hope that the author or somebody else will post a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please Click Here for more information.

[Bifford]

Good report, Skug. You gave helpful updates on some of the old haunts and info on places that I don't remember being reviewed here before.

If you got your last-minute deal to PV at a place other than Priceline, I hope you can reveal it.

I'm glad Las Antorchas is still open, for those of us who like daytime action.

As you exit La Zona, which side of the street and in which direction is Tierra y Mar?

And where is El y Ella?

[Skug37]

Although I hadn’t planned on going to PV again because of the inflated prices, I ended up getting a last minute deal for the Weekend.

Probably most of my information will be repetitive with other reports, however I will still try to provide as much informative information as possible.

On my first night, I went to La Zona. My first stop was Stravaganza. They charged me 30 pesos for a beer, so I was already pissed off. The place was dead, and has been remodeled to an unnecessary, luxurious level for that area. I then saw the waiter charge 20 pesos for a beer to a local, so I left. Went next door to El Cadilac. Although it had reopened since I was there last, it was a different owner. There were about 3 women, and about 4 transvestites (which was never the case before). So, I left before I finished my beer. Then, I went across the parking lot to Las Alanzas, which always kicks ass. As usual, it was the best place. It was packed with hookers, and only charged 15 pesos per beer. I ended up banging one of the putas for 500 pesos. By the way, always tell them that your price includes everything (including the room), or they always try to jab you for an extra 100 pesos or so. Then, I would have gone to El Tren, but it was closed. As I was leaving, I saw some really thick titted woman getting out of a taxi, about ready to go into Stravaganza. I ended up nailing her for 550 pesos.

Afterwards, I took a taxi to the strip club that’s across the street from Hotel Alamo. They charged 30 pesos for a beer, and one of the hookers said she charges 900 pesos. I got pissed off and left, with intentions on going to Hotel Alamo. Much to my surprise, Hotel Alamo is still closed. The cab driver said that it had been closed for about the past 6 months. So, I just went back to my room.

The next morning, I went to Antorchas. Besides the bar tender, it was empty. I just drank one beer, and then when I left, there was a so so woman waiting outside. We agreed on a total price of 450 pesos. We had to take a dirt trail from behind the building to a house that had 2 rooms for sex. Afterwards, I went to Pitiyal because I was told that a place called Las Ranas had women for hire. All that was in there was the Bartender, who was kind of hot. I asked her if she was for hire, and she said no, and that it wasn’t that type of bar.

Later on in the evening I went to Tierra y Mar where I always like to drink before going to La Zona since it is just within walking distance. Per a report here on the site, and a taxi driver, I decided to go to the bar across the street from Tierra Y Mar, in order to look for Prostitutes. There were several waitresses, however they were occupied with customers that were buying them drinks and dancing with them.

So, I went to Las Alanzas (which by the way opens earlier than the other places in La Zona). It is normally open by about 9:00 PM or so. Ended up buying a woman that I run into just about every time I go to Vallarta. She never charges much, and is always pretty wild. This time, we agreed on 500 pesos, and as always she was worth every peso.

Although I diddn't have time over the weekend to go to El y Ella, a cab driver told me that it is still open. I forgot to ask him if Conejitas (which is right next door) is still there, but I'm sure it probably is. The last time I was there, there was also a bar down the street from the two that although was not a strip joint, it still had working women inside.

Hope this info is informative, as I have always found the other reports on this site to be extremely helpful for my mongering purposes.

[Solidrockfun]

Did you manage to get the bar up and running? If so, expect some visitors this coming week

Kwork,

Pay Jackson his $20.00 dollars so you can get and receive personal messages. It will be well worth it to you.

The bar will not be open until approximately August 10th. My name is Eduardo. I will not be in Puerto Vallarta until August 3rd, as I am closing out my businesses here in the United States.

As I stated in my previous post, I will publish information when I have things all in place. Thank you for inquiring!

[Reese27]

I am looking for information on Damely Massage in PV. Has anyone visted the MP recently? Can you tell me something of your experience? And specifically did you see Patty one of the two sisters who run the MP? I would appreciate any information.

Thanks

[J Garcia]

I visited PV in August of 2000 for two weeks. We (my girlfriend and I) were at an all-inclusive resort if Nuevo Vallarta and every time we went into two, we passed this one strip club. It was past the airport and marina and was on the main drag going into town from Nuevo and located on the right side. It had a huge sign that read “Gentlemen’s Club”. It was my birthday, so my girlfriend told me to go enjoy myself..so I did. I recall that there was a cover charge; I believe 100p, and other than a few US sailors, not much in the way of customers. There were a lot of ladies and one caught my eye in the dim lighting. Negotiated with someone from the club for 1,000 pesos for full service. We went out through the back and cross what appeared to be an auto repair shop of even a junk yard to a room. Outside was a club employee with a walkie-talkie who kept watch. Inside the room was a make-shift bed and I rec’d a bj and then doggie style. Upon finishing and exiting the room, the club employee led me out the gate in the adjacent courtyard. Like I said, it looked to be a business during the day time hours.

My questions to you all are; what was the name of the club? Is it still around? (assuming that the description is accurate – I do believe it was just past the marina heading into town) And is the going price of full-service ON SITE around $150/US in the greater PV area? I will be arriving in PV on the 30th and staying through the 7th. I have read some posts and the information is great, I just need information about stuff close to downtown because that is where we are staying. My travel companion this time is not as liberal as the last one I took. Also, I smoke a little weed and am thinking about bringing some, however, I do not really want to risk it. Is there a for sure place to score down there, like the beach of anywhere?

Your help is greatly appreciated. Thanks to all and to all, good mongering

[Bifford]

Guys, I recently purchased a small bar in Puerto Vallarta across the street from Senor Frogs, and 2 doors down from the El Torito Restaurant, which is also 2 blocks from the beach, beers will be $1.25 cents, drinks $1.50, and I hope to have some reasonable entertainment for all of you in the very near future.

Sounds like Monchies to me. Same place, or next to it?

[UrbanWildlife]

Kwork,

Pay Jackson his $20.00 dollars so you can get and receive personal messages. It will be well worth it to you.

The bar will not be open until approximately August 10th. My name is Eduardo. I will not be in Puerto Vallarta until August 3rd, as I am closing out my businesses here in the United States.

As I stated in my previous post, I will publish information when I have things all in place. Thank you for inquiring!

[Kwork64]

I will be in PV from July 23rd thru the 30th and am looking for some quality info like Dickfer just reported on. I have been reading posts on this site and the info will be very useful. Thanks to you all. If anybody has any info, feel free to let me know before the 23rd.

UrbanWildlife--what's the name of your bar and who do we ask for when we come in?

Thanks

[UrbanWildlife]

Thanks for taking the time to share your experiences with us, and updating us on the club scene.

Guys, I recently purchased a small bar in Puerto Vallarta across the street from Senor Frogs, and 2 doors down from the El Torito Restaurant, which is also 2 blocks from the beach, beers will be $1.25 cents, drinks $1.50, and I hope to have some reasonable entertainment for all of you in the very near future. I am presently in the U.S, but will be permanently relocating once again to Puerto Vallarta taking over the cantina in August.

I will publish more details after I get things established. Again thanks for the report Dickfer.

[Dickfer]

Night Action at PVR is good. May be because it was the off-season, but when I was hanging out at the clubs (typically from 10pm-2am or so) there were only a handful of guys and I didn't see anyone taking chicas out/upstairs. I went to Junior's, Prestige, Mirage, Candy's and Hysteria. I'll start the list from worst to the best. All places charge 100p for entrance, with or without free shot of Tequila at entrance. The "closers" expect a tip and when I gave $2 to one at Candy's he threw it back to me saying it was too little and felt insulted! Generally 100p tip has been enough to keep these mofos from irritating you too much.

5. Mirage

Across the street from Prestige and reportedly owned by the same people. Take out 2500p according to previous reports though I did not partake. Somewhat dirty club with large central dance place. I would not say this place is upscale. I got there around 8:30PM and I was the only customer and there were around 10 chicas milling around - no free tequila. By the time I left at 9:30PM, maybe 20 or chicas, but none looked that great. The waiters weren't too annoying but the closer was, though once I said "not so soon" he backed off. Essentially, less than hygienic place with no good looking girls, though I was there for only 1 hour.

4. Prestige

THis was the cleanest and most upscale place in PV. However, teh girls were prudish and I didn't think they were any better than the ones at Candy's or Hysteria. On Thursday night (MN-3am) there were two 8's and one 7. I bought drinks for the 7 (great slender body but somewhat f'd up face) - I took her upstairs for lap dance and she was restrictive - I'd get more milage at some strip clubs in U.S.! She kept on pushing for the 2 hour take-out, which was quoted to me as 4100p - uh, no thanks. I bought some one more drink for her, which she gulped down in a minute, and when I said no to more drinks to the waiter who was hovering, she quickly got up and left. There was an 8 who remininded me a bit of Catherine Zeta Jones's. I nudged her in the leg when she passed by and she didn't even acknowledge that. I asked one of the waiters about a bj from her and they laughed and said that she didn't do "nada." I saw some notties there 5-6 range Overall, a slick place which will wring your wallet dry if you let it.

3. Junior's

I went once. I saw the two hungarian and one Czech dancers that other posters have commented on. I talked to two of them and their faces weren't that pretty and they all had a bad vibe. They've been in PV for 2-3 years and spoke great spanish - you have to wonder why they are here. I took out a sweet 20 year old with very small tits I think I saw some genital warts near her pubic bone - i made sure I didn't do the "mesh." - probably a 7 but a sunshine pussy. 2000p/ 2hrs.

Tied for first place are Hysteria and Candy's

Hysteria:

Reasonably clean. Chicas are overall 6-7 range with a few 8's and 9's. Got a good kid named Alex who moved from U.S. 6 mos ago who directed me to some tasty morsels. We narrowed it down to two and I took them both for a 3-some lap-dance. One of them had nice soft tits and got aggressive right away (tongue in my ear and hand on my schlong) probably because of the competition present and eventually won my vote. I sessioned with her a few more times after that and she ended up being a nice gfe (without too much clinginess from her part) for the rest of the trip. 2500p/2hr take-out. I negotiated the price down a bit for our meeting later though I didn't drive a hard bargain.

Candy's:

You get a good tequila shot at the door! Talent similar to Hysteria - they had some sexual aggressors who'll come up to you and grab your hand and put it on their crotch right away. This would be a good place to start your trip (when you're the horniest). I sessioned with 2 girls from here and was generally satisfied. 2000p/ 2 hour take out. 2000p for 2 hour takeout. I'd say girls 6-8 range with enough 7+ to 8 chicas to keep things interesting. I can't say I saw a 9.

[Dickfer]

I'm wrapping up a 1-week trip to PVR, and thought it may be beneficial to other people to distill the information that I've gathered and processed here.


Daytime Action:

This was where things required a lot of work. I was aiming to do 2/day. I'd tool around town or beach during the day but I'd want some action mid-afternoon (or even early AM). I called Juliette's massage at around 3pm when I first got down here (224-0339) - when I asked for someone quien habla ingles, I was directed to a lady whose english was barely adequate for this kind of transaction. I asked for someone who's younger figuring I'd cut down on the chance of landing a gordita - she said the youngest they had at the time was 25 - she was in my place in 45 minutes. Her looks were major f'd up. She had a big tummy going that hung down along wiht her breasts in doggy style, a big C-section scar. Her teeth were yellow. Her face was not too bad (6) but had plenty evidence of ravages of time. She did have a tongue ring and gave a very good cbj with great tongue action. 1800p for 1hr or so and gave her a cab ride. BTW, bring your own condoms as these mexican condoms are very thick.

I was walking around the marina one day and these touts approached me about selling me anything, including a chica. I didn't have much going on that day so I got suckered in talking to the "dealer" who also sold tour tix etc. Again, I asked for someone younger, he said he knew a girl who's like 27 w/ a great bod, I said OK. 500p payed to the dealer (who's there all the time) and another 1000p to the girl. She had a card - "Massage Katy 24 hrs. 044 322 205 4604" Again, she was at least in her early 30's w/ face with plenty of crow feet and with absolutely no vibrancy but did have a decent body, floppy tits notwithstanding. Wasn't bad performance, I was able to pop.

Basic lesson from above 2 experiences: it's such a gamble to pick a girl without seeing them yourself I was basically 0 for 2 (hard enough with pics off of the net) This point has been iterated by many posters before me.


The other daytime action I've had were from chicas I met at clubs. There were a few flakes and looking back, I'd wished I had tried to get phone numbers from as many chicas I talked to at the club (all of them at least attractive enough for me to buy them a drink), so that you're not putting all eggs in one basket. Just make sure that they write and give you the number "con discretiva," at the club with managerial staff present. Plus some of the girls sleep until 4pm or so that you won't get any action until 6-7pm, at which time Candy's opens. At Junior's the girls keep 1000p of the 2000p for the 2 hour take-out, so you can negotiate from there.

[Reese27]

I go to PV quite a lot and agree totally that Venus Massage is the best for a massage, but as Xdentx says there is no more to be had than the massage. The other place I had a great massage was Harmonia with a woman named Lus María, again no extras.

[Xdentx]

Antorches is alive...but in questionable health. Did a follow up at 4pm on a week day. The place was open with 5 women present...all but one grossly overweight. One customer was occuping the one decent puta's attention. No other customers present. There is now a 6' or 7' tall concrete block wall shutting off access to the concrete trail from the patio to the "casa" in the back. This impediment was probably required/demanded by the authorities to discourage easy access to the rooms. The girls get around this by taking the customer out the front door and around the side into the back where you eventually join the old trail. The customer now pays the casa 120 pesos for the room, and the puta usually asks for 500. There are probably more women present when a cruise ship is in port, but more competing customers as well. If you like riding the colorful city buses, as I do, it's a 5 peso adventure to have a look. (agua is 20)

[Xdentx]

Making phone calls successfully in PV can be a challange for a gringo. I tried calling each of two numbers the lady had given me about10 times. Thank God for Skype, as I would not have had the perserverence if using a public phone. Kept getting an error message in Spanish which I couldn't understand. Finally got a message in English that you need to add a "1" after the country code if calling a cell phone. Duh! Who would have known?

Reached the lady, but my communication/phone skills failed me miserably. Although we set up a time and place to meet, I knew it probably wouldn't happen. And it didn't. In person, I think we had great communication. In reality, most of that was in "body language". Alas, body language doesn't come across well on a phone.