Puerto Vallarta

[Allen Eire]

Dickhead,

Let me clarify, by security I meant hotel security keeps the vendors from asaulting you every 5 minutes. Now lets be real a beach vendor may solicit you only once but 50 of his cousins are hot on his heels for your business. If it were just me I'd stay at the Los Arcos in oldtown because everything I want is right there. I think perhaps I will not be able to mix in a special massage this trip, oh well I'll just enjoy the atmosphere, freinds and ocean.

If I am able to sneak away to downtown/oldtown can you or anyone else reading recommend a massage establishment? I am not sure if my old stand by is still in biz.

Thanks

AE

[Dickhead]

Allen, I can't help you with upscale hotels as I am a low-rent kinda guy. But what do beach vendors have to do with security? 99% of them go away after you say "no, gracias" one time.

Hundreds of years ago when I was married I used to always let my wife pick the hotels. I don't really give a shit and that way if (well, WHEN) she complains you can just say, "Hey, you chose it."

You might want to look in the travel section of dub dub dub flyertalk dot com. Those people are all pretty yupscale and they are experienced travelers. There's trip reports and such in there.

[Allen Eire]

Gents or Dickhead in particular,

A change of events has occurred and I'll be coming to PV May 9th thru 12th. My better half and another couple that we are going with want to stay at El Presidente or Mizmaloya de La Jolla...this is going to suck because I'm used to staying at the beach in old town thus allowing me to roam a bit a night, get out of the room to smoke a cigar ie get a massage.

Would any of you gents recommend a hotel that is upscale but closer to old town that has a nice swiming beach?

I have not been to PV for 2 1/2 years does anyone know if Massage Lucy in old town is still in biz? Can anyone recommend an actual massage place by name that offers extras?

Update: Wifey wants to stay upscale because the beauty of the beaches south of old town and the security. Meaning The Miz has security that keeps the beach vendors to a minimum or non existent. So what's a monger to do? I definatley want to enjoy the beach & drinks but a massage with a bbbj to finish would be great or just a bj from a female member of the hotel staff. I have been south of town a few times to the remote beaches but never actually stayed down there. Help!

[Eltib]

Originally posted by Dickhead
The maids I went after were in motels so no bellhop. The one that was recent enough to remember was in Portland, OR in a Motel 6. I was there for five or six days and I saw her almost every day and one day she cleaned my room last so I asked if she wanted to go for a beer and that was it.

BTW, I bought my time share when the Dow was at 11,000 and the NASDAQ at 5000 and it was the worst decision I´ve ever made. If you want to buy one I will make you a deal.

And I may not be a communist but I damn sure am an atheist, thank god.

Dickhead,

I owned 2 timeshares in Puerto Vallarta. I couldn't get the price I wanted, so I finally donated them to charity. I got 14 years use outta them plus a $1500 refund for this prior year and next tax year too. Paid a total of $15K for 2 weeks. I think $3K is not a bad return(Considering I used them for 14 years). Anyway, if you can't get arid of them try donating them to the Christopher foundation. Here is the link.

http://www.thechristopherfoundation....imeshares.html

[Toledo Rocket]

Recently returned from PV. Most of the hurricane damage has been cleaned up. Seemed to be alot more Policia around though. Skipped Qeros and Chicas, too rich for my blood. Did got to the Alamo, up by the airport. Women range from 5-7 with decent bodies. 50.00 for an hour, no charge for the room. It was no holds barred for the entire hour. Visited all the counties
Next day picked up a SW over by the quale bridge, 18 year old. 30.00, 10.00 for the hotel. She must have been new, seemed real nervous. Good time though.
My last day, I was just looking for a relaxing massage, as you come into Vallarta from the south, just after the road splits into a one-way is a little massage place on the corner. I got GREAT one hour massage and an even greater BBBJTC for a finish, all for 20.00 (tipped extra 10.00 for the finish)
Gotta love PV, cant wait until next year.

[Allen Eire]

duke,

You really know how to bargain the ho's down but I would have been somewhere in the middle. I'd want value but clearly let her know I want a GFE for the $10-15 extra. This would be more difficult for someone like me since I am not to proficient with spanish. I would never even If I won the lotto pay Juniors type $$$. At the very least I would get a one hour relaxing massage for $25-30 and score some pussy for the grand finale as oposed to the rip off strip clubs.

[Prokofiev]

Duke . . .

She ATE the $20?? I'm surprised you didn't tie her up in your room and feed her X-Lax . . .

Otto . . .

Agree with your ideas about PV. Unless you are a real beach nut, I would look elsewhere. But the tequila is NOT better there. Or really any cheaper. Demand exceeds supply and the best is either exported to the US or sold at equally high prices.

[Bifford]

There are more police patrols in PV this year. Someone said it's because of the economy, so some bad elements have come north from Acapulco. But don't worry, it's safe, and indeed some "good" elements (SWs in El Centro) are more evident than ever before. A summary of my pursuits for low-cost action:

Friday - went looking for it up the hill from old town, and immediately found a 7 on Naranjo Street near the corner of Lazaro Cardenas Street. Wanted $30 (US), bargained her down to $20 including room, which was two doors away. This being a neighborhood of fat mamas, I was surprised at the ease of finding a slender pleasant companion.

Tuesday - went back to the same street, found a 6, held firm at $20 offer, mission accomplished. This street/area is not crawling with SWs, but at night you often find one or two standing under a tree.

Thursday - Encountered a young-looking 7 near Colombia & Honduras streets (north of old town). We negotiated down to my $20, much to her disappointment. We got a hotel room on Colombia. Her performance was perfunctory. You get what you pay for.

Wednesday - Up the hill on Jacarandas Street, near Pulpito Street(behind Old Town) met a young-looking girl, pleasantly slim but built, about a 7. We went to a hotel on Naranjo street, paid $10 for the room. Inside the room she asked for $60. I said $20. After threatened to leave she reluctantly agreed. She then said she had to shower, asked for the money, which I gave her (oops). She then said she would only give a BJ for the $20. I said no because she had agreed to full service. Argument ensued, I tried to grab money from her hand, she stuffed it in mouth and swallowed. I grabbed her cigarettes room key & bag and took it to the front desk where I warned the staff about ever letting her in there again. After a mini-argument with the girl at the front desk, the staff were most gracious, and refunded my $10. The girl left without getting her shower, but with my $20 in her stomach.

Figuring I'd better go for a place which sponsors low-cost action rather than risk another pickup, I took a $5 cab ride to "La Zona" out near the bull ring. This place was really deserted at 11 PM. On the left one bar, across the street another, and to the right a "lap dance" place. 15 girls max in the compound, mostly 3-4s. This place used to be dirty and lively, now it's dirty and deserted. Asking price from a 7, $60 (uh, this is the 3rd world?). Asking price from a 5, $40. After walking away three times I got her down to $30 and got full service in the back room, complete with cockroaches and loud music. Girl was most pleasant though.

Bargain hunters, there is life beyond Junior´s...

[Allen Eire]

So sad to hear Los Lobos closed down. The uncle of my former next door neighbor in San Jose, CA was the owner of that establishment. I happened to be talking to him one day and asked him to pick up my mail. He of course was where you going? PV, really! My espousa is from there and my uncle owns a bar there. Hope he did not meet his wife at Lobos which I doubt because they are an educated well to do couple. Anyway I take his uncle a letter and pictures of their new baby. Damn, his uncle rolled out the red carpet for me. I don't know about you Otto but I have always had a great time there. Now Mazatlan that place sucks! PV is not the best place in the world but the airfare was free so I can't complain.

Dick Head,

I'll have to pass on the timeshare offer. I don't plan to go to PV anytime soon maybe in 2 or 3 years.

If you get the chance see if Lucy Masage is still in biz. I actualy went there in 2000 because of an older (1998) positive WSG report.

[OttoGraham]

A brief post to comment on some stuff I've just read here:

1) Playa Los Arcos is a good choice for a relatively inexpensive hotel in PV. I paid something like $60 a night for a room overlooking the pool and with a nice view of the water. Not ritz but comfortable.

2) Los Lobos was closed down the last time I was there (Nov. 2002).

3) Indeed $600 is NUTS to pay for any Mexican girl. Also lots of vacationing pussy to be had for free.

4) I don't care for PV much. IMHO there's really no reason to go to PV on holiday, be it a mongering holiday or a straight one. It's a run-down version of Clearwater Beach, Florida, but costing almost the same price.

5) The women in this town (professional and amateur) aren't very appealing, but perhaps it's my lower opinion on the beauty of mestizo women compared to other posters.

6) The Mexican food is better north of the border.

7) The tequila here is definitely better than in the U.S. A cool bar where I spent a brain-cell-killing afternoon was the Tequila School or House of Tequila or something like that. I did a tasting menu of pretty much every tequila they had in stock. Then went back to Playa Los Arcos, puked my guts up like I used to when I was in college, and promptly went to sleep for the rest of the night (lost mongering opportunity, boo hoo).

8) Even in November, there was very little visible damage from the hurricane that hit earlier in the autumn, save for some very un-Mexican-like (i.e. efficient and quick) rebuilding efforts down on the waterfront. I'll wager those repairs are finished by now. So don't worry about that.

-Uncle Otto

[Dickhead]

The maids I went after were in motels so no bellhop. The one that was recent enough to remember was in Portland, OR in a Motel 6. I was there for five or six days and I saw her almost every day and one day she cleaned my room last so I asked if she wanted to go for a beer and that was it.

BTW, I bought my time share when the Dow was at 11,000 and the NASDAQ at 5000 and it was the worst decision I´ve ever made. If you want to buy one I will make you a deal.

And I may not be a communist but I damn sure am an atheist, thank god.

[Allen Eire]

That's funny because I've been almost everywhere in Hawaii and traveled to Alaska twice but only about 25% of the lower 48.

I'm going on a biz trip to Los Angeles at the end of this month.
My hotel is more along the lines of a 3 star, not super fancy but not Motel 6. How did you go about shaging a maid at a US hotel? Did you use the bellman routine?

We were considering buying a time share but we always stay at Playa Los Arcos because we get such an incredible rate (50% off) due a certain affiliation. Check and see if Massge Lucy is still in biz. It's 6-8 blocks east of Playa Muertos in oldtown. Enjoy your vacay!

BTW I wonder if you remember that we got into a little spat about "In GOD We Trust" a few months ago.

Cheers!

[Dickhead]

Originally posted by Allen Eire
Dick Head,

Point taken on both subjects. I am not sure if you know where this is but I have always stayed at the Playa Los Arcos Hotel. It's a bit older but clean, next to the beach and in the middle of all the action in oldtown.

I always got the feeling that extra service could be had there but since my wife was with me I did not want to be to risky especially with Massage Lucy or Los Lobos a few blocks away. What part of town do you normaly stay in? Your going in June enjoy that excessive humidity. Last but not least have you ever propositioned a maid in the USA?

I do know the Playa Los Arcos. I normally go down for two weeks and spend one at Villa del Palmar, where I have a time share (that is the place my post referred to), then another week at Posada de Roger on the "other" side of the bridge. This time I have some extra weeks saved up so I will spend all three at Villa del Palmar. The other week I will actually be in Guadalajara.

I have banged maids in the US a couple of times but it has been a long time since I don´t take domestic vacations any more (seen pretty much the whole US except Alaska and Hawaii).

[Prokofiev]

I was in Puerto Vallarta Jan1 and stayed at the Rosita Hotel directly on the beach downtown. It was cheap ($40) but a major mistake. The noise level along the main drag at night (8pm til 2 am) is unbearable. Plus way too many Gringos and Canadians. Malls/stores. A Hooters. Restaurant prices at US levels. Thanks but no thanks. Plus it was a little hot and very humid - in Jan. Definitely stay somewhere a few blocks from the downtown beach unless cruising the strip in a car is your thing. Definitely was not my cup of tea and I went back to Guadalajara after 3 days. Then again I'm not a beach person. But different strokes . . .

[Allen Eire]

Dick Head,

Point taken on both subjects. I am not sure if you know where this is but I have always stayed at the Playa Los Arcos Hotel. It's a bit older but clean, next to the beach and in the middle of all the action in oldtown.

I always got the feeling that extra service could be had there but since my wife was with me I did not want to be to risky especially with Massage Lucy or Los Lobos a few blocks away. What part of town do you normaly stay in? Your going in June enjoy that excessive humidity. Last but not least have you ever propositioned a maid in the USA?