Cali Reports

[Aussie Greg]

You know, I was thinking of you while I was pumping a beautifull Pereira girl last Tuesday night in Pereira.

What a fucken story Freezer, I guess me having children in the furture I have something to look forward to !!!! keep a room for me mate, regards to you and the little one.

Aussie G.

Hi everyone,

After a long, long 5 days drive from Colombia to Peru, I have just arrived to my new playground. I am here in Lima with my dear friend Screwed Up that is as screwed up as ever.

Here's what happened.

I used to live in Cali for 4 years. I ended up waking-up to the fact that the wife I had was a total *****. That is good enough for the USA, but in Colombia, with all the competition around, that doesn't fly for long. So, I ended up giving her the divorce that she deserved and went on. The hard thing was obviously the 2 kids that were in the middle. Anyhow, a failed mariage doesn't have to mean that the divorce has to fail. Well, it ended-up that the ex-to-be is so fucked-up in her head that she started to threat me and my surroundings. I had met my dear Edith that is most probably the best of Colombia, and she got some of my ex-wife's bad behavior.

In the process, to have some breathing room, I moved from Cali to Pereira in Colombia. Having a 3 hour drive between I and the ex-wife may help in getting a little less bullshit from her. That went well for 6 months. Then the threats and the criminal lawsuits against me started coming again. The justice system in Colombia is just a total mess. Could you believe that I had a criminal lawsuit against me because I sent my own daughter to the zoo with a friend (and came back the day after)? Well, if I can't be a dad with my daughter in that crazy country without risking jail time, then I am getting the Hell out of this nut country. I then brought my 2 kids to her mother, wish them all good life (kiss to the kids, and a slap in the face to the ex-wife), and then had to leave Colombia most probably forever with Edith (I hope).

We left Cali on a Saturday. I drive a 1974 Jeep Land-cruiser. Old car that often plays tricks on me. But the drive is only 3000 km or so, and having driven from Florida to Seatle twice plus through Canada a couple of times, what could go wrong?

Anyhow, on Saturdayit happened. The car breaks down in the Cauca. For those of you that do not know the Cauca, well it's FARC country. When you meet someone, you don't know who he is and how your interaction is going to end. The trouble was with the fuel pump. It happened at about 30-40 minutes south of Popayan. The meeting lotery ended up being good. We met good people that ended up helping us through this ordeal. It ended up being a 6 hour stall, and we were then back on the road.

Day one ended up in Pasto Colombia. Then comes day 2. We go to Ipiales to the Colombian border. I go through the border without an hitch. For Edith (a Colombian citizen) that is not the same. She needs a report from the DAS about her judicial status, and on a Sunday, the banks are not opened to make the deposit of their bribe money. Result: we need to wait until the next day in order to go through this bureaucracy. How beautiful is that? Anyhow, let's cut our losses and go to the hotel and work on a little antifreeze in the meantime.

The next day is the one. I go at the bank and make the deposit of the bribe money while she has her picture taken. All done within an hour. Then, we go through the Colombia border and the Ecuador border. The car brought some issues. I had my paperwork in order to go through borders, but did not think of Ecuador (more on that later). Customs at Ecuador's border did not appear to be an issue. So, we started our long journey south. We got stopped by police about 4 times in the first 200 km. After that, there was a custom check-point. I felt like it was going to be just another one of these checks and we're back on our way. They gave me shit about the fact that I needed a certificate of importation because I am more than 200 km into Ecuador and that a Colombian car can enter in Colombia but only until a certain point without that certificate. Bullshit, total bullshit.... We told people at customs at the border that we were heading to Peru. If they did not provide us with that certificate, then they have to be equivalently unprofessional and overlook it now. The agent tells me to go back at the border and ask for the report. I tell him that I will make the U-turn and do so. I get in the car, and kept driving while ignoring his fucking advice.

We drive south up to Quito. Going through a city is always a mess since a freeway melts down to normal streets (without signs) and you need to find your way through that mess to find the freeway again on the other end of the city. In the process of doing so, we are told that the pan-american freeway is closed today. That was odd. And what other road may we take to go south? None we are told. I keep on driving while ignoring that alarming input. Indeed, I get into a road block that will confirm my worst fears. What happened? I ask the cop. Was there an landslide, or something? No, there is a unlawful road-block to protest against the state of the road and they ask for 30 million dollars to fix the road. Why should I care, send the fucking army and show them who's the boss!!!! No, not in Ecuador. It was already closed for 2 days, and the protest made sure to close all exits south. We drove back to Quito and got an hotel to spend the night, maybe the day after it will open.

Go to an hotel, spend $24 USD for the room, and relax a bit after a stressfull day. Edith stays in the room while I go and fetch for some Internet. While I come back to the room, she tells me that she hitches everywhere. Good news: there are fleas in the room. The harm was already done, we switch bed but that wouldn't fix anything anyhow.

The morning after, I ask if the protest is done. No. So, I tell my darling that we'll have to drive north and west to go around that mess. It ended up being a 600 km little detour through the Ecuador rain forest. We drove almost to the Ecuador-Peru border that same day (about 15 hours drive) without seeing anymore customs. The following day was reserved for another border. Get the hell out of Ecuador and into Peru. I was frightened about the car and the custom paper to make Ecuador happy, but that's the aventure. We get to the border. What a mess it is at that border!!! First Ecuador's migration. No problem. Then, a couple of miles down the road comes the Peru border. I first stop to get some Soles (Peru's currency) on the street. Exchange $70 USD to Soles. Then an Ecuador custom agent gets to my window and asks me for my paperwork. I answer hiw with a smile. I look at Edith and tell her to buckle up and start driving the last 20 meters to Peru as if I did not hear him at all. She tells me that I am crazy! She may be right. Anyhow, that ended up being a good move since it was the end of it. Then comes Peru's custom agent. We push some more paperwork without problem (at least until now).

Then comes the Peru long drive. Roads in Peru are in excellent shape. Way better than Colombia and Ecuador. Other than the Ecuador fleas eating us alive, the trip was excellent. Half way into Peru, we stopped in a restaurant and I ask the guy to prepare a pool of water to drown the little bastards. I jump into the bucket with all my clothes and drowned them as expected and that was also the end of it for them.

Quite a trip. I am happy to be in Lima, but somewhat fearful towards that next chapter in my life. C'est la vie! This is adventure or not????

Saludos

Antifreeze with his lovely Edith (the best of Colombia) by his side.

[Antifreeze]

Hi everyone,

After a long, long 5 days drive from Colombia to Peru, I have just arrived to my new playground. I am here in Lima with my dear friend Screwed Up that is as screwed up as ever.

Here's what happened.

I used to live in Cali for 4 years. I ended up waking-up to the fact that the wife I had was a total *****. That is good enough for the USA, but in Colombia, with all the competition around, that doesn't fly for long. So, I ended up giving her the divorce that she deserved and went on. The hard thing was obviously the 2 kids that were in the middle. Anyhow, a failed mariage doesn't have to mean that the divorce has to fail. Well, it ended-up that the ex-to-be is so fucked-up in her head that she started to threat me and my surroundings. I had met my dear Edith that is most probably the best of Colombia, and she got some of my ex-wife's bad behavior.

In the process, to have some breathing room, I moved from Cali to Pereira in Colombia. Having a 3 hour drive between I and the ex-wife may help in getting a little less bullshit from her. That went well for 6 months. Then the threats and the criminal lawsuits against me started coming again. The justice system in Colombia is just a total mess. Could you believe that I had a criminal lawsuit against me because I sent my own daughter to the zoo with a friend (and came back the day after)? Well, if I can't be a dad with my daughter in that crazy country without risking jail time, then I am getting the Hell out of this nut country. I then brought my 2 kids to her mother, wish them all good life (kiss to the kids, and a slap in the face to the ex-wife), and then had to leave Colombia most probably forever with Edith (I hope).

We left Cali on a Saturday. I drive a 1974 Jeep Land-cruiser. Old car that often plays tricks on me. But the drive is only 3000 km or so, and having driven from Florida to Seatle twice plus through Canada a couple of times, what could go wrong?

Anyhow, on Saturdayit happened. The car breaks down in the Cauca. For those of you that do not know the Cauca, well it's FARC country. When you meet someone, you don't know who he is and how your interaction is going to end. The trouble was with the fuel pump. It happened at about 30-40 minutes south of Popayan. The meeting lotery ended up being good. We met good people that ended up helping us through this ordeal. It ended up being a 6 hour stall, and we were then back on the road.

Day one ended up in Pasto Colombia. Then comes day 2. We go to Ipiales to the Colombian border. I go through the border without an hitch. For Edith (a Colombian citizen) that is not the same. She needs a report from the DAS about her judicial status, and on a Sunday, the banks are not opened to make the deposit of their bribe money. Result: we need to wait until the next day in order to go through this bureaucracy. How beautiful is that? Anyhow, let's cut our losses and go to the hotel and work on a little antifreeze in the meantime.

The next day is the one. I go at the bank and make the deposit of the bribe money while she has her picture taken. All done within an hour. Then, we go through the Colombia border and the Ecuador border. The car brought some issues. I had my paperwork in order to go through borders, but did not think of Ecuador (more on that later). Customs at Ecuador's border did not appear to be an issue. So, we started our long journey south. We got stopped by police about 4 times in the first 200 km. After that, there was a custom check-point. I felt like it was going to be just another one of these checks and we're back on our way. They gave me shit about the fact that I needed a certificate of importation because I am more than 200 km into Ecuador and that a Colombian car can enter in Colombia but only until a certain point without that certificate. Bullshit, total bullshit.... We told people at customs at the border that we were heading to Peru. If they did not provide us with that certificate, then they have to be equivalently unprofessional and overlook it now. The agent tells me to go back at the border and ask for the report. I tell him that I will make the U-turn and do so. I get in the car, and kept driving while ignoring his fucking advice.

We drive south up to Quito. Going through a city is always a mess since a freeway melts down to normal streets (without signs) and you need to find your way through that mess to find the freeway again on the other end of the city. In the process of doing so, we are told that the pan-american freeway is closed today. That was odd. And what other road may we take to go south? None we are told. I keep on driving while ignoring that alarming input. Indeed, I get into a road block that will confirm my worst fears. What happened? I ask the cop. Was there an landslide, or something? No, there is a unlawful road-block to protest against the state of the road and they ask for 30 million dollars to fix the road. Why should I care, send the fucking army and show them who's the boss!!!! No, not in Ecuador. It was already closed for 2 days, and the protest made sure to close all exits south. We drove back to Quito and got an hotel to spend the night, maybe the day after it will open.

Go to an hotel, spend $24 USD for the room, and relax a bit after a stressfull day. Edith stays in the room while I go and fetch for some Internet. While I come back to the room, she tells me that she hitches everywhere. Good news: there are fleas in the room. The harm was already done, we switch bed but that wouldn't fix anything anyhow.

The morning after, I ask if the protest is done. No. So, I tell my darling that we'll have to drive north and west to go around that mess. It ended up being a 600 km little detour through the Ecuador rain forest. We drove almost to the Ecuador-Peru border that same day (about 15 hours drive) without seeing anymore customs. The following day was reserved for another border. Get the hell out of Ecuador and into Peru. I was frightened about the car and the custom paper to make Ecuador happy, but that's the aventure. We get to the border. What a mess it is at that border!!! First Ecuador's migration. No problem. Then, a couple of miles down the road comes the Peru border. I first stop to get some Soles (Peru's currency) on the street. Exchange $70 USD to Soles. Then an Ecuador custom agent gets to my window and asks me for my paperwork. I answer hiw with a smile. I look at Edith and tell her to buckle up and start driving the last 20 meters to Peru as if I did not hear him at all. She tells me that I am crazy! She may be right. Anyhow, that ended up being a good move since it was the end of it. Then comes Peru's custom agent. We push some more paperwork without problem (at least until now).

Then comes the Peru long drive. Roads in Peru are in excellent shape. Way better than Colombia and Ecuador. Other than the Ecuador fleas eating us alive, the trip was excellent. Half way into Peru, we stopped in a restaurant and I ask the guy to prepare a pool of water to drown the little bastards. I jump into the bucket with all my clothes and drowned them as expected and that was also the end of it for them.

Quite a trip. I am happy to be in Lima, but somewhat fearful towards that next chapter in my life. C'est la vie! This is adventure or not????

Saludos

Antifreeze with his lovely Edith (the best of Colombia) by his side.

[Polvo]

Sailor: Do you REALLY want all the guys going to Colombia to start going to SIN instead? If safety is a priority, there is no safer city ON EARTH than SIN. NONE. But SIN is also a police state with the many drawbacks of totalitarianism.

Ah!! But if everyone goes to Singapore then demand drops off. And prices go down. Surfer, you're a smart guy. You should encourage this!! :-)

Start telling stories about how the SIN authorities are so cool - that you can even get free spankings for chewing gum! Tell Nibu that they all have big tits! It's a great idea.

Then prices will come down and I will buy you a beer while we contemplate our pick of cheap chicas!!

Suerte!

Polvo

[Surfer]

Sailor: Do you REALLY want all the guys going to Colombia to start going to SIN instead? If safety is a priority, there is no safer city ON EARTH than SIN. NONE. But SIN is also a police state with the many drawbacks of totalitarianism.

[Sailor2006]

look at singapore, its alot cleaner then colombia, alot safer then colombia alot more modern the colombia, little more costly in taxis, hotels, but they have everything you can buy in the states and more, one would think with all this modern luxary the cost of pussy would be extermly high like say and western world country or the USA, but on gaylang 18(fishBowl) 40 Sing gets you 1/2 little more, if your a local, 80Sing gets you 45mins to an hour, were talking 25USD to 50USD, and the girls are TOP QUALITY, I have had some great sex there. Even the more expensive places like Orchard towers are still cheaper then colombia for example I would leave the ship at midnight get to orchard tower by 0100, pick up a girl by 3am after a couple of drinks and some searching, and pay her 150Sing to 200Sing about 95USD or 125USD for all night of sex or till 10AM most of the girls would stay that long, some of the more hard veterns would try and leave early. (I still had to pay taxi and hotel, but that was all under 20USD). And those girls were top quality as well.

Now take for example Colombia the prices are basically very similar if not a little higher, I wouldnt put some of the local MP in the same catagory as Gaylang 18, the girls don't measure up, in fact lutrons would be a place equal to some of the places on gaylang and lutron costs more 73USD, about 10-20 USD more actually. And False Dose or some of the local houses can cost you exit fee 120K-150K then 200K for the girl and she WILL LEAVE AFTER A FEW HOURS. Total bill for false dose is just under 200USD including cover and required drinks and I don't know many that will stay with you till 10AM. So in singapore 150USD got me a girl from 2AM or 3AM till morning usually 8AM-10AM, in colombia a girl from a house or a club can run equal to that or a little bit more

Now I am not "bitching" just comparing, and asking why in a modern country is pussy so closely priced to that of a dangerous third world country like colombia? I realize my prices may not match what is out there, there are steals and deals in both countries but I see them as closely priced, and just wonder why?

To answear my own question, I think mainly the prices difference is becuase the girls in singapore are brought over from their country on contract for a period of time, there % of the money is small, their passports are taken away and they are often not allowed to leave the building, thus creating a cheaper enviorment, taking away the girls right to be a **** with money. Also the freelancers at orchard tower are on toursit visa's (most) and are often not in country for long periods of time, and need to make as much money as possible in a short amount of time. Number 2 the country has many tourists from every country possible, and these guys don't pay that much for pussy, they just don't.

[Midea]

Were all Fucked

This same situation happened in Beijing China, where Gringos pay up to 200USDollars for fat and old Chinese hookers, and under the pretext that:

One, they have no time to look around.
Two, they are rich and don't care.
Three, it get them harder to know that they are paying large.
What knocks me off is that their girls are really ugly!

A Chinese beauty: say boobs implement, tight round ass, 180cm tall, silky skin, long shiny black hair, going for 200USD like I had in GZ, I would say fine, as she would score the same in the States if not more.

However when looking at the pics those guys are posting, I really want to puke.

[Sailor2006]

Were all Fucked

[Surfer]

Quoting from the article GL linked:

Cali's mayor, Apolinar Salcedo, told Caracol Radio "there's an order by the FARC to heighten its terrorist attacks against Cali and nearby areas."

Well it might be an "internal matter" but, as Ricker notes, so is the Iraqi civil war, errr, insurrection.

I am sure Ricker's novia is happy to be getting out of dodge and going home. Antifreeze also moved to Periera recently. Maybe Periera will be the new hotspot in Colombia ( I read earlier this year that American was considering adding a direct flight from Miami). Time to open another Mansion there, then Bogota, Barranquilla and Bucaramanga. Just imagine it, some day Mansions for mongers will be as ubiquitous as Mickey D's in the US. ):

A little bird recently PM'd me a story about Greg bringing a chica from Cali's biggest casa (La Clinica del Doctor Amor on Ave 2a along the river just down from Torre de Cali) to the Mansion and telling her to charge his beloved guests 150,000 per hour. This same chica had been content charging 38,000 at La clinica just the month before, and the house keeps about 40% of that.

After seeing that the Mansion's guests will pay 150,000 per hour, do you think she will again be satisfied with the rates at La Clinica??????????? Do you think she might tell her friends that the gringos will pay 150,000 for SHORT TIME????? I pay UP TO 150,000 for LT, usually 100 to 120, but NEVER for ST! Even Cali's most overpriced clipjoint Flores Frescas is cheaper than what they will charge after seeing the rates they can get at the Mansion!

Prov/WestCoastWill/BarebackBill: While I am culturally sensitive traveler, unlike you and your ilk, I WAS a part of the problem to an extent as I would pay more than locals, bargained less etc. But I am out of Colombia after a good ride of 15 trips over a little more than 3 years. In three days, I am off to Thailand then Laos before spending Xmas with my honeyko in Mindanao so I won't be posting here for quite awhile.

[Ricker]

Miami,

I found this article in the International Herald Tribune after reading your post. I'm thinking about canceling my upcoming trip. Seems like the shit is hitting the fan down there in Cali. I'll miss my chicas but at least I'll live to monger another day. I might just have to head back to Medellin for some (relatively) safer fun.

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2006/...y_Bombings.php

See you in Parque Lleras amigo! :)

[Ricker]

As for the trouble in Cali this last week, Medellin Bob was their when a few bombs went off, just inturnial stuff.

Aussie G.

Just like the bombs in Iraq ... internal stuff.

Terrorism is terrorism ... be careful out there boys!

Like Miami Heat said ... when the locals are nervous AND when Gringo Loco cancels his Cali trip ... there's a problem.

Take care y Suerte!

[MiamiHeatLuver]

As for the trouble in Cali this last week, Medellin Bob was their when a few bombs went off, just inturnial stuff.

Aussie G.[/QUOTE]

Just a "Few Bombs"? and that it maybe was "internal"? Maybe? That for some strange reason doesnt sound too soothing or convincing to me. Ha ha lol. The city was very on edge and you could see the concern on the peoples faces. My Novia did not want to go out on Thurday night nor did my cunado or his Novia. Cali im sorry to say has taken a turn for the worse. Peace "Chino" P.S. Thanks for the link "GRINGO" you saved me a bunch of time!

[Scooby1]

Whats the POLO congress is that the Colombia version of Junior Statesmen of America, an american high school practice political group?

[Sailor2006]

This is a thread, not an english paper, people need to relax. we should be attacking each other simply becuase we do not agree not becuase we can not spell.

[Ricker]

Miami,

I found this article in the International Herald Tribune after reading your post. I'm thinking about canceling my upcoming trip. Seems like the shit is hitting the fan down there in Cali. I'll miss my chicas but at least I'll live to monger another day. I might just have to head back to Medellin for some (relatively) safer fun.

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2006/...y_Bombings.php

Hey Loco ... My girlfriend is moving from Cali also. We just found an apartment in Pereira.

Between the street crime increasing there and the new and increased FARC activity, it's time to move to safer ground :)

Suerte!

[Aussie Greg]

Im happy with my spelling, I left school at 14 years of age to help my parents in their small business after dad was in the Australian Army in Korea and also the Western Australia Police Forse for 20 years.

Yes spelling is not one of my fine points, but I´m happy with it, maths is what I´m good at which only speaks for it self while I´ve been here in Colombia.

If any body has any spesific questions about the FARC/ELN then ask me and I´ll ask my girlfriend who is a member of the POLO congress here in Medellin, the youngest member in Colombia, she´s spending this week in Bogota at their annuial congress meeting.

As for the trouble in Cali this last week, Medellin Bob was their when a few bombs went off, just inturnial stuff.

Aussie G.

Greg: for the 100th time I NEVER said you (or the Mansion) was responsible for the increasing cost of mongering in Medellin! I know reading and writing in English does not come easily to you, but will you PLEASE either QUOTE where you think it is that I posted that or give it a rest?

Chino: Maybe Colombia needs to be destroyed in order to be saved (to use an analogy from the Vietnam War). A few FARC/ELN incursions into the tourist parts of Cali or Medellin (Laguito is too heavilty fortified) would be just what the doctor ordered. Say an Ejercito Poblacion (urban division of FARC) commando team hitting FloresFrescas just as the dildo show starts then grabbing a group of gringos and sequestering somewhere in Caqueta or Putomayo for a few months while bleeding their relatives and the US government for ransom money.

With the newly Democrat controlled Congress soon to open debate about reauthorization of PlanColombia, a spectacular urban offensive is pretty likely IMHO. For the record I am NOT condoning the FARC terrorists, but fear of their activities is what protected Colombia from the current plague (of Anglo sex tourists) for decades. As it is with ANY ecosystem, when a predator is removed or depopulated its prey proliferates in unhealthy numbers.

Prov/WestCoastWill: How about confining your posts to places you have actually screwed females (read: TJ and LA)?