Cartagena Reports

[Turgid]

I have finally touched down for my first visit to Cartagena in a country I've visited so many times before. If you look down from the plane heading to the airport you will see a small sector of high rise buildings amidst a vast area of slum like dwellings. This should prepare every visitor for the experiences they will have in the city. The high rises represent an island of opulence among a sea of poverty. These poor people gravitate to the rich area to hustle whatever benefits they could derive.

Upon settling into my airbnb I changed and headed out to get a lay of the land. Many visitors have reported on how hot Cartagena is. I thought nothing of this as I am accustomed to visiting the Caribbean. However, Cartagena is a different kind of hot; within minutes my clothes were fully drenched in sweat. As I discovered the a / see in the bedroom of my accomodation does not adequately deal with this heat. I had some regret that I did not pay the extra for a top hotel such as the Hilton which definitely would have better temperature control. BTW this being a tourist town it is quite expensive, especially hotels.

More to what you guys are interested in, one is hustled constantly at the beach, neverthelsess I found the hookers not so much in your face as the other hustlers but they are there. I have not partaken yet but haven gotten older and wiser I will be careful not to proposition civilians in pursuit of my hobby, that would be quite uncool. The agreement I signed for the airbnb although in Spanish I was able to detect the essentials – no loud parties, no drugs and no prostitutes. With respect to the latter I have no intention of adhering. My rental can accommodate six people and no one is to tell me I cannot have friends over. A party of six could have booked it so there you go. The building is populated by mostly Colombians including women of all types so although a prospective partner would not be wearing a band there would not be any walk of shame.

More to come later.

[Nypher]

Sorry for the typos it was but I think you get the idea.

You can get anything you want and may pay twice what you should for it. You can watch a midget in the DJ booth, while the girls do their March through sand late in the day. They will be over with the clock tower in the evening if they haven't gotten any action before that. If you're looking for quiet go someplace else.

The midget spinning the tunes, yes they get around jajaja.

You're not going to warn him about the Trans mixed into the available selection around Kiosk #4? LOL.

That quick stop in February and having them walk around in booty shorts and thongs trying to get my attention along with the little kids coming up to the rope as I'm laying under the cabana screaming to get my attention was the final straw to not go to Playa Hollywood on future trips.

As a suggestion for a more relaxed and chilled experience. Check out Beach Club in El Laguito, close to the Pametto Sunset. There's no actual beach but it's way more relaxed.

[Kafka]

Sorry for the typos it was but I think you get the idea.

You can get anything you want and may pay twice what you should for it. You can watch a midget in the DJ booth, while the girls do their March through sand late in the day. They will be over with the clock tower in the evening if they haven't gotten any action before that. If you're looking for quiet go someplace else.

If you're looking for entertainment and a lot of good visuals you'll love Playa Hollywood it's a circus. Definitely not relaxing but it's not bad having 30 women swarming all over the beach and watching the gringo gringo posses getting mobbed but then just try to sell them crap or drive them off the beach whichever comes first. It's kind of like with a pelicans do when the fisherman in a net, the gringos are sworn by every massage girl, trinket seller hookers they can call over to sit on their laps. Then you can watch the argument when Tony brings them a bill for three times with actually had it's quite comical and predictable. Just be prepared for some really loud awful music, drunk people from Bogota. And you'll be all set.

[Kafka]

If you're looking for entertainment and a lot of good visuals you'll love Playa Hollywood it's a circus. Definitely not relaxing but it's not bad having 30 women swarming all over the beach and watching the gringo gringo posses getting mobbed but then just try to sell them crap or drive them off the beach whichever comes first. It's kind of like with a pelicans do when the fisherman in a net, the gringos are sworn by every massage girl, trinket seller hookers they can call over to sit on their laps. Then you can watch the argument when Tony brings them a bill for three times with actually had it's quite comical and predictable. Just be prepared for some really loud awful music, drunk people from Bogota. And you'll be all set.

Being by the sea is in itself more enjoyable for me than being inland and I do look forward to swimming occasionally. I've heard about Cartagena vendors, probably the worst in the world, but, believe me, that would be the least of my problems, travelling around the world for decades has made me quite capable of dealing with them. Nevertheless, your advice is good and appreciated. I'm mainly a casa man and do look forward to hitting some casas also.

[Turgid]

I'm sorry my friend, but the beaches in Cartagena proper will be a massive disappointment. They are dirty, crowded with tourists, and filled to the brim with vendors. You won't have a good time there just enjoying the beach. If you want that, you will need to go south of Cartagena by boat or car to Baru and spend the nights there, where the beaches are sparsely populated and have no sellers.

The sex trade may disappoint you as well due to the influx of the Venezuelans who tend to be very business like.

I love it in Cartagena, but it's a place for long stays. For short trips, I'the advise you to spend a few days sampling the girls in the clubs or the square downtown. Find one you click with, who isn't trying to suck all your money, and take her for a few nights to a resort in Baru.

Happy hunting.

Being by the sea is in itself more enjoyable for me than being inland and I do look forward to swimming occasionally. I've heard about Cartagena vendors, probably the worst in the world, but, believe me, that would be the least of my problems, travelling around the world for decades has made me quite capable of dealing with them. Nevertheless, your advice is good and appreciated. I'm mainly a casa man and do look forward to hitting some casas also.

[MongerHunger]

It is like are we fucking or supposed to be having a wrestling match.

LOL. On a mat.

[Mr Enternational]

The mattresses in those love motels suck.

It is like are we fucking or supposed to be having a wrestling match.

[PerkinWarbeck]

The mattresses in those love motels suck.

Apologies! I got it mixed up. There are some short time hotels like Hotel Mar y Sol, which you can rent by the hour. Those tend to be clean, but they aren't places to sleep. The incalls I was referring to are actual hotels where the girls are staying. The amenities there are actually decent for the price.

[PerkinWarbeck]

Well my flight and airbnb are booked for my first mongering trip since covid arrived while I was FKKing in Frankfurt 2020. Of all the destinations I have chosen Cartagena since henceforth every port of call must have a beach and I've never been to Cartagena in spite of numerous trips to Colombia. I love la playa and its half the reason I would travel from now on. If the mongering is disappointing then I can still enjoy myself.

I'm sorry my friend, but the beaches in Cartagena proper will be a massive disappointment. They are dirty, crowded with tourists, and filled to the brim with vendors. You won't have a good time there just enjoying the beach. If you want that, you will need to go south of Cartagena by boat or car to Baru and spend the nights there, where the beaches are sparsely populated and have no sellers.

The sex trade may disappoint you as well due to the influx of the Venezuelans who tend to be very business like.

I love it in Cartagena, but it's a place for long stays. For short trips, I'the advise you to spend a few days sampling the girls in the clubs or the square downtown. Find one you click with, who isn't trying to suck all your money, and take her for a few nights to a resort in Baru.

Happy hunting.

[PerkinWarbeck]

Appreciate that, I wasn't sure about incall locations, esp with girls in MDE, but it could have saved me $100 USD after transport plus hotel tacking on guest fees. Just wasn't sure what to expect not on my turf.

Incall in Bocagrande seems reasonable though. I'll make sure things aren't too far. And haven't heard of skokka but will check out, Milerotics has been pretty legit for me so far though.

You should absolutely be skeptical of incalls in Medellin because of the lack of affordable hotels in the tourists spots, you'the have to travel decently far out to an incall. Here it's different. Cartagena is a tourist spot for Colombians too, so they have budget hotels down by the beach for families. I went to see a muchacha down there earlier this year, and there was a family leaving out the room next door as I entered. Also, girls stay up by the airport and Marbella too because Colombians will base themselves out of there. Bosque is for some tourists, but mostly Colombian men. The girls in Bosque are traveling a circuit through the north of the country, and those hotels are set up just for this. The rooms tend to be cleaner with good air conditioning and a TV. Also, the pricing will be much better in Bosque (100 -150 k). If you speak Spanish, you can get two rounds out of it too.

Use inDrive to get you there and back. They'll deliver you right to the hotel, you do your business, then order another inDrive in her room, and they meet you at the entrance. Very safe.

Skokka is used more by Colombian men. The prices tend to be better, but these are very regular girls. Not stunners.

The I.

[PerkinWarbeck]

Hilarious. They love you so much that the whole beach swarms all over why'all and won't leave you alone till I they get your money. It's like pelicans with the fishermen are out They just surround you and harass you.

These girls love money and will tell you whatever you want to hear. Please take everything they say with a mound of salt.

[Turgid]

Well my flight and airbnb are booked for my first mongering trip since covid arrived while I was FKKing in Frankfurt 2020. Of all the destinations I have chosen Cartagena since henceforth every port of call must have a beach and I've never been to Cartagena in spite of numerous trips to Colombia. I love la playa and its half the reason I would travel from now on. If the mongering is disappointing then I can still enjoy myself.

[MongerHunger]

The sex motels are super basic, but they tend to be clean. I've only used them a handful of times though. In Cartagena, it is more likely that the girls from Mileroticos or Skokka, will have an incall in Bocagrande, Bosque, or Marbella. In calls in those areas are perfectly safe. They set up in those areas because tourists are nearby and it's more comfortable for you. I will say that be careful in Bosque after dark as it can get somewhat sketchy (not terribly so). There are some girls who will have them further east, but it's not safe for foreigners to go so don't bother.

There aren't dedicated casas or spas here for sex work. The spas you see are straight up, though the ladies may finish you by hand if it's private enough. Also, they will give you their number to set up something offsite later.

The mattresses in those love motels suck.

[CowboyCheeba]

The sex motels are super basic, but they tend to be clean. I've only used them a handful of times though. In Cartagena, it is more likely that the girls from Mileroticos or Skokka, will have an incall in Bocagrande, Bosque, or Marbella. In calls in those areas are perfectly safe. They set up in those areas because tourists are nearby and it's more comfortable for you. I will say that be careful in Bosque after dark as it can get somewhat sketchy (not terribly so). There are some girls who will have them further east, but it's not safe for foreigners to go so don't bother.

There aren't dedicated casas or spas here for sex work. The spas you see are straight up, though the ladies may finish you by hand if it's private enough. Also, they will give you their number to set up something offsite later.

Appreciate that, I wasn't sure about incall locations, esp with girls in MDE, but it could have saved me $100 USD after transport plus hotel tacking on guest fees. Just wasn't sure what to expect not on my turf.

Incall in Bocagrande seems reasonable though. I'll make sure things aren't too far. And haven't heard of skokka but will check out, Milerotics has been pretty legit for me so far though.

[Kafka]

The Sosua effect is kicking in.

This report is not about to find women, prices paid or anything about the P4 P, so feel free to skip if that's what your looking for, this report is annoyances that happened outside of the P4 P scene.

Normally there are some bad experiences, but the good times outweigh it so much that I can overlook the negative experiences but this trip, things tilted in the other direction and I want to believe it was because of the timing, end of summer + Labor Day weekend.

Once I returned to Cartagena to finish the last week just about every day something negative happened that outweighs the positive.

Private boat I normally rent from 8 am to 4 pm for $400 is now $500 minimum and its not even high season.

Sunset Cruise.

My chica said she wanted to go on a Sunset Cruise on a Catamaran and I saw it leaving the dock that evening. I call up a tour guide and tell them exactly what I wanted. They booked it, I sent them the money, and sent me the place to meet for the following day. Following day my girl and I show up at the dock at 4:30 getting ready to board the boat, they tell us were not on the list. We call the tour guide and they give us the information of the person whose there with the list for the boat. We call them and they tell us to go down the pier more and we get to this little ass speed boat, which is the lowest tier for the sunset cruise. We get on, and there is this older couple there who look like thy don't belong there just like my chica and I because were too overly dressed for a speed boat. We get to talking and the same thing happened to them. They wanted the Bona Vida Catamaran sunset cruise and ended up on a speed boat.

Pao Pao.

Tried to go to Bora Bora but they said it was full but Pao Pao was the sister island with a similar experience. So much BS!

So we booked it for my chica and I. We get to the dock and its 28 K COP dock tax per person. We sign up and sit down. Then about 30 minutes later all we hear is Pao Pao this way and everyone rush up to the boat leaving us in confusion. No we at the back of the line to board the boat and a lady comes up to us offering beds and lounge chairs so I pay another 80 K COP thinking these chairs are in a separate area. We last to board and it was a lancha type boat and they boarded from the front so last to board ended sitting at the very front of the boat in the sun and feeling every single wave on the choppy water.

We get to the island and first to get off the boat. They searching bags, so I'm thinking, (I'm from the hood, I'm use to this shit), I give them the bag and they toss up the entire bag, I had a bottle of Titos in a bag they take it and say no outside liquor allowed, then point to the sign saying it SMH. I've done day trips to Cocoliso, Isla Del la Sol, and Luxury VIP and they never done no shit like this. Fuck it, whatever, lets go enjoy the best of it, they point us to the reserved chairs and its all the way is the front by the water in the hot ass sun and the umbrella covering the bed is this fishnet looking cover and the sun is beaming all through it like its not even there. We ask them to move us since there were 3 extra seats in the shade and they said they couldn't because the beds are reserved. The whole day no one ever sat in those empty chairs in the shade. Drinks were overpriced and cost extra. Included free lunch, I had the fish my chica had the chicken. Fish was dried out chicken was decent, I order empanadas and just ate the beef and chicken and tossed the cheese. We spend most of the time just taking pictures and when we went to the bathroom there was 4 extra chairs in the back of the island completely shaded empty. At this point I'm just over it and want to relax. We go in the water and about 2:30 a guy comes yelling everyone out the water the boat leaves in 30 minutes. WTF! So the boat left the dock around 8 am, it takes about an hour to get to the island and we are leaving at 3 pm? I remember other islands were 4 pm cut off and we get back to the dock at 5 pm. Fuck it, I'm done, I have to make sure were the first ones on the boat to get good seats out of the sun and to avoid the front from the choppy water. I go to the bar to pay the tab, they tell me I have to get it from the waiter, I'm running around trying to find the waiter hes no where to be found. Finally found him 20 minutes later to pay the tab so he can give me the pass to leave the island (if you don't know, they won't let you leave the island unless you give them a pass to prove you paid your bill). Found him, paid, got the pass and now were in the middle of the line somewhere to get on the boat. Luckily we got good seats out of the sun. The boat starts moving and the ship mate starts randomly have people switch seats (I know what hes doing but he can fuck off cause I'm already pissed). He gets to my row and when we boarded I specifically sat on the right side of the boat because I knew the sun was going to be on the left and my chica took the isle seat so she can get the best coverage from the sun. He wants us to swap seats with a couple on the left side. I just shake my head no and point to the sun then point to the seat and he moves on. We get back to the dock, get off the boat to take Uber and another private boat came in right before us filled with loud mouth sisters and its clear they were from down south by that accent and they just throwing shots at me and my chica and just mean mugging me and giving my chica stank faces. We a good 10 feet from them over by the vendor buying mango slices while they bunched up by Door 3 and its just comment after comment after comment while we waiting for the Uber. My chica ask me why they looking at her like that but I'm already frustrated and don't feel like being confrontational so I went passive aggressive and start joking with my chica and laughing, asking her where she wants to go for dinner then we crossed the street to the other side by the walls to wait for the uber and on our way away from Centro. They still there being loud as fuck like they purposely wanted me to hear what they saying to get a reaction out of me but ignoring them just makes everyone around them see why most men back home aren't getting involved with them.

Bora Bora.

Since we couldn't get Bora Bora initially I booked it online for another day. Myself, my chica and her 2 friends. $285.

We get to the dock and as usual I have to pay the dock fee, in cash. It was 28 K COP per person. So I'm immediately out about 100 K COP. We sign in and they start offering extras. Extra for VIP and Extra for beds. Before I knew it I was out another 500 K COP. This time I know better, and we sat at the check in desk and as soon as we heard Bora bora we went right to the front of the line got good seats in the middle of the boat on the sunny side while most people sat in the shaded side. They didn't realize once the boat reversed from the dock and turned around, the shaded side will now be the sunny side and vice versa jajaja. We were good and shaded for the hour trip. Boat mate came again trying to balance the boat by moving people around, I refused again. We get to the island, they searching bags for liquor. We get to the VIP area first and the beds I brought were balcony beds but under a tree this time and unfortunately my chica said it stunk like bat shit (I don't know what bat shit smells like but there was a strong ammonia smell). We ask to move beds and they refused saying the beds are reserved (I'm thinking everyone is already here and no one is in the beds) I was told only 35 people were allowed in VIP area but as time went on more boats came, in total about 3 speed boats and 1 lancha type boat came to drop off people on bora bora along with private boats. The VIP area was packed and the normal area only had a few people. My chica and her friends were running around taking pictures everywhere while I just relaxed drinking and watching people go in and out the water. I decided to go in and there is a shit ton of dead coral as soon as you enter the water so careful where you step. I get out and back to the bed and all of a sudden I hear "can I get a waterrrrrrrrrrr" mad loud. Without even looking I already knew what to expect. My chica returned with her friends and saw me drinking this yellow, blue and green drink, they tasted it and liked it so I ordered 2 rounds. Then I start to hear the comments coming from a group of sisters sitting 2 rows behind. I can't play my music on my speaker (Not allowed on the island) so I can't drown them out. My chica and her friends notice the nasty looks, start asking me why they looking at them, I tell them "this is the end results of certain women telling men for years I can do bad all by myself, and now they are doing bad all by themself" She doesn't get it and I don't have the time to explain. So ignore them, have fun, that's how you win. This guy was walking around with lobsters and crabs my chica and one of her friends wanted one but I knew once the cook it and it shrinks its going to be little to nothing so I got them one each, paying 200 COP a piece, cash only, Again, dinks cost extra, and food was basic so I stuffed myself with 4 orders of Chicken empanadas, the cheese sucked, and so did the beef. Back into the water with the girls to cool off and at 2:30 like clockwork the guy comes and tell everyone to get out the water. Another sister I didn't see at all so she must have been over by the DJ booth was in the water next to me pissed of how they got to the island, only had an hour, then ate lunch, then they just got in the water and its too early to go. We get to talking, I find out its her first time in Colombia on a girls trip for Labor Day weekend. She's cool so I tell her get dressed quickly, pay your tab, and sit in the middle to the back and avoid the front of the boat and enjoy the ride back. She starts laughing and comments how I must come here all the time to which I responded "my first time on this island" then while laughing I said "lots of mistakes, that always cost money to fix, but I learn as I go". I then tell her these islands are just to take pictures to show you been there, I then pointed to a woman who changed her swimsuit about 4 times and was taking lots of pictures to fool people online that she's been here 4 different times, she starts laughing and says "you wrong for that, but you right, I didn't even notice it's a different swimsuit". We had a good laugh about it. I paid up and headed to the dock, there were 4 boats at the dock for everyone to leave the island at the same time. And the line was crazy long. It doesn't matter what boat anyone gets on as they are all going back. I timed it so we get on a boat to be on the right side, some lady comes and pissed off she's last to get on and don't want to sit in the sun so she refused to board the boat and had to wait for the next one. Boat starts going, choppy water too bad for those in the front. We get back to the dock, and again the loud mouths so I took the girls immediately across the street to wait for the uber.

Playa Blanca.

Went here with my chica. Oh yea, they tried to get me. They put extra drinks on my tab and expected me to pay for it. I know I had 3, my girl had 3. And we had 1 meal each but they came with 10 drinks on the bill. First they tried to over charge for the cabana and my chica must have told them to go fuck themselves because we had our own cooler with drinks, all we needed was the cabana and food. So they dropped the price. When the bill came they added a 10% service fee and wanted to add a 20% surcharge for me using a card. My chica went off when they called her a "gringo mouthpiece", I'm guessing that some type of disrespectful term cause she was not having any of it. They removed the extra drinks, I paid in cash and told my chica to tell them "you aint getting no service fee cause you tried to scam me" we hopped on the boat and we was out.

Centro.

So we wanted to check out Townhouse in the day time as they have the rooftop pools. We take the Uber to Clock tower and walk through as its faster. We don't expect much people but it was packed, Cruise ship came in. The damn little kids who use to be outside Delirium in the night time begging for money and food are now there in the daytime. For 3 blocks they kept bothering us for money until we turned a corner and saw some cops and they scattered.

Centro.

My girl had a craving for tacos. So it was about 9 pm and we went to LOS Tacos Gordo. (They were good but small).

So we had 4 orders and couldn't finish the last order. Were heading back to the apartment to drink so I just said lets get 2 more orders to go and we just chill on the balcony and drink and eat. We get the food and leave. I request the uber but they keep canceling so I have to set it outside the clock tower. We start walking and I didn't want to walk by Delirium so we crossed over to Space / Dolce side and kept walking on the opposite side of the street because the other side was lots of people. We passing by Monkey Bar and right before we hit Alquimico I hear, "yo I know you", "food for me", "me hungry" I'm ignoring it while we keep walking until one of them comes in from of me and points to the bag saying the same shit so I say "es por tarde" I'm still walking cause I'm not stopping for nobody and my chica in 2 steps Infront. Then I hear the same guy say in english "you fucking and-word". So I look at him and say "tal vez, pero tengo mucho plata, tu, tu tienes nada. Que mas? Quieres algo? Tu trabajar para eso". My girl overheard what I said with my limited spanish but she didn't catch what I was responding to since she doesn't speak much english. She grab my hand and start pulling me saying "mucho problemas" so I turn and see 4 cops across the street and she pulls me towards them and we keep walking. These cops looks like they fresh out of high school, mostly women and crazy young, I wouldn't expect them to handle shit if shit goes down and think they are just there to display presence. I let it be, got the Uber and was back to the apartment. I tried to explain to my chica what happened, and she said there is allot of things happening in Centro lately and I need to be careful Centro have gotten worse.

Next rip, I think ill only be stopping in Cartegena to pick up my chica and were going elsewhere.