Cartagena Reports

[JjBee62]

Hey,

Thanks. This might sound like extreme paranoia, but I would rather not reveal my exact location on this public forum until I leave. You just never know what kind of crazies or even authority figures monitor this place.

I will say this. It is right in the center of Bocagrande right beside a big shopping mall. It is a high rise right across the street from the beach. The manual pull open doors are unique to this place I believe. Have not seen them anywhere else in a building like this in Bocagrande since being here. The views here are incredible here though. I love just sitting on my balcony drinking coffee or blazing up. Drinking up here is fun too.

Have had some epic sex up here on this balcony as well.

Too bad the building has decided to go full out middle eastern mode. If there is a DM function on here, feel free to DM me and I will DM you the name of the building. Not sure if there is or not tbh.

I got a lot of hydrocone right now. Just popped like five pills of 10's and am about to smoke out. Wtf do they include acetaminophen in hydros anyways? Acetaminophen can be very toxic to your kidneys and livers in high doses.

You don't want to reveal your exact location on the public forum, but then you give out enough information for anyone there to identify your exact location?

To top it off, with all the stuff you're putting in your body, you're concerned about the acetaminophen? I'm not judging. Whatever works for you is your business. It just seems funny after your reports of all the stuff you're doing that you're worried about the acetaminophen.

I'm enjoying the reports, but I believe there's a fair chance it will end on a bad note.

[Nypher]

I walked in last night early at 6 pm in a tank top and sandals. You got to get there early to get the stunners I realize. I was the only guy there and like 8 chicas arrived including 2 stunners. One of the stunners looked at me and I waved her over. She sat with me and everything was good. But she wanted $100 for 1 hour and would not budge from this price telling me all the prettiest girls requested this amount in dulce vida. I danced with her, finished me beer then did the whole oops got to go meet my friend thing LOL. She was visibly pissed off. Her friend who was also very attractive had joined us and wanted a threesome for $200. So I guess I pissed both of them off. Oh well..

You are hilarious! I would love to be the monger on the ground just watching your actions when you step into the clubs. I'm dying over here, lots of tears and beer shooting out of my nose reading your report JAJAJA.

Of course the guy in Space wouldn't want you sitting at his table because he had to pay for the table and you chip in, you didn't even offer to buy shots or a round of drinks, JAJAJA that's some funny stuff.

Man! Its must have been some powerful shit that you were on because ISIS is is almost right across the street from Space.

400 K for all night is a hell of a deal but you have to make sure you know how many palvo is in that all night and what you are getting. What they can do is agree to 400 K then everything is con condom, or only 2 palvo, one before bed and one when you wake up. Make sure you know exactly what you are paying for before you take them out of the establishment.

As for that last minute security BS, that's why I no longer stay at places that have security. Or stay at high-rise condo properties and only do apartments now. At anytime building management can change the rules and fuck your night up and the host cannot do a damn thing about it. Or Security can pull some bullshit that will take some pesos to resolve, or in your case you had someone who couldn't be brought.

Great report! Reading your report reminds me of when Newbie joined my friend and I to have his first Cartagena adventure.

[MistaDynamite]

If the Airbnb does not indicate it in the house rules why not ask the host prior to your arrival so you can plan accordingly if they do not allow visitors?

Security was mad after that night, because we would come in drop 7 k each on the counter ask for the bands jajaja.

Who knows how long they been running that scam. Well played sir.

[UnknownGuy]

Great reports, very entertaining. What is the name of the building you are staying in so we can avoid it?

Is it the Palmetto Sunset in El Laguito?

[HighOnTravel]

Great reports, very entertaining. What is the name of the building you are staying in so we can avoid it?

Hey,

Thanks. This might sound like extreme paranoia, but I would rather not reveal my exact location on this public forum until I leave. You just never know what kind of crazies or even authority figures monitor this place.

I will say this. It is right in the center of Bocagrande right beside a big shopping mall. It is a high rise right across the street from the beach. The manual pull open doors are unique to this place I believe. Have not seen them anywhere else in a building like this in Bocagrande since being here. The views here are incredible here though. I love just sitting on my balcony drinking coffee or blazing up. Drinking up here is fun too.

Have had some epic sex up here on this balcony as well.

Too bad the building has decided to go full out middle eastern mode. If there is a DM function on here, feel free to DM me and I will DM you the name of the building. Not sure if there is or not tbh.

I got a lot of hydrocone right now. Just popped like five pills of 10's and am about to smoke out. Wtf do they include acetaminophen in hydros anyways? Acetaminophen can be very toxic to your kidneys and livers in high doses.

The pharmacies here are great. Just don't ever do these meds / drugs on consecutive days to avoid addiction. And take multiple day breaks if over doing it. I will need to take at least a 3 day break from these hydros after today just in case. Took a lot of them 2 days before this. I ask a lot of girls who I bring back to try my pills but they always act sketched out and pull out their "tutszy" instead. What an overrated substance that stuff is.

[JjBee62]

I hope you meant guerilla not gorilla. Gorillas are rare in COL.

Although you do have to watch out for hippos.

[AmorPorFavor]

Great reports, very entertaining. What is the name of the building you are staying in so we can avoid it?

[HighOnTravel]

You are asking to be set up big time buying anything not legal in Colombia. Full stop.

It would be pretty funny if they have a dress code in these dumps based on how the chicas and most of the local dudes dress though I think a wife beater shirt may be carrying it a bit too far.

If you get one more bad review on AIR, no one will rent to you in the future.

So you are saying it is too dangerous to buy anything ilike that here? Taxi drivers seem safe to me. They just go get the stuff give it to you then drive you home.

About Airbnb. Yes, I am paranoid of one more bad review. The first one was completely bogus by an uptight lady in las Vegas after I stayed in her place for 1 month. She even lied said I broke her microwave. I think her cleaners did tbh then blamed it on me.

I have 20 plus positive reviews including four new ones since the bad one.

Update on my wine stains on the white wall. I went to olypmica bought some hydrogen peroxide and Clorox bleach. I first mixed the hydrogen peroxide with water then used a white towel to dip in it and blotted every stain. Then I dumped that water and mixed a lot of Clorox with some more water. I used the same white towel and soaked it in the cholorox water.

I began lightly scrubbing each stain. To my amazement the stains began losing color. I scrubbed for like half an hour or so and now every stain is gone Thank god. Was really worried about that as I am changing airnbs tomorrow.

[HighOnTravel]

I mentioned a few posts back that a few nights ago the doorman at LDV would not not let me in. At first I thought it was maybe too crowded or Covid related. When I came back ten minutes later, I received the same rejection and then the guy told me not to wait near the door but across the street. Screw that noise so I left. Now you mention that sometimes they don't let you in because they don't think you will get a table or other BS. Has anyone else experienced this difficulty?

I am in Santa Marta now so I peeked in Bananas, this little club with chicas, near Parque Novios. But it was completely empty and the doorman said try back at 10.

I walked in last night early at 6 pm in a tank top and sandals. You got to get there early to get the stunners I realize. I was the only guy there and like 8 chicas arrived including 2 stunners. One of the stunners looked at me and I waved her over. She sat with me and everything was good. But she wanted $100 for 1 hour and would not budge from this price telling me all the prettiest girls requested this amount in dulce vida. I danced with her, finished me beer then did the whole oops got to go meet my friend thing LOL. She was visibly pissed off. Her friend who was also very attractive had joined us and wanted a threesome for $200. So I guess I pissed both of them off. Oh well.

I made my way walking around. Everyone in centro knows me now. I get high fives and fist bumps everywhere I go. But I took a shit tonne of lyrica pregabalin and had like 7 beers and pina coladas in me. Lyrica is very strong in high doses if you don't have a tolerance to it and alcohol makes it much stronger.

So I was probably a bit wobbly looking as my motor coordination was off. But I got love for the hustlers and scammers even though one of them would probably knife in the back fir $50 hahaha. I swung one Venezuelan who I had never met before 20 pesos. He acted like I had saved his life. Crazy.

Before going into dulce vita I had went to the santo domingo church mass. It is really good on Sunday evenings imo. I don't understand most of what they are saying but my spanish is improving very quickly. I rode the horse and carriage twice drinking beers before going. One of my favorite activities here to do. Sundays are my fun days in centro ha.

So anyways, back to my report. I walked / stumbled around. Probably looking like a scammers dream come true. Some hustler selling cigars near a small park managed to talk me into to getting his what's app saying he can deliver the foodies to me. I had discovered he sent me pictures of all kinds of illegal substances in my dms later that night when I got home. Will def not be buying. Smells like a potential set up.

Anyways, I walked around for quite some time talking to the street vendors and hustlers. Most of them are pretty cool now and don't try to sell me stuff.

I always get lost walking around in centro. Though I am getting better at remembering places. As soon as you remotely look like you don't know where you are going boom a street guy will jump in try to take advantage. It can get very annoying at times, but it is what it is.

I found this really cool street food setup and tonnes of Colombian tourists were gathered around it. I told the guy in Spanish that I wanted what this one girl was eating as it looked very good. He saud I needed to wait 5 minutes. I left walked around drinking a beer then came back. The same gurl was still there. I asked him if it was ready tet. He acted like he couldn't understand my broken spanish which always annoys me haha. But the girl was very friendly and told him that I had requested what she was eating. She began told me in Spanish and I told her my spanish is very limited but I am studying every day. She told ne no that my soanish is very good for a gringo. Her BF / husband was sitting roght there so I trued not to flirt with her but he seemed pretty nice as well but not someone to cross.

When I got my food the girl recommended me to try a certain sauce. I took it and squirted it all over the sandwich / some thing like a sandwich LOL. She started bursting out laughing. I thanked them all and walked away eating it. Pretty damn good street food imo. Not sure what the heck it was though ha.

I walked around in a haze and some tout directed me back over to the space area. I told him no tengo no plata por tu when we were walking just to maje sure. He told me no problem that he gets cutbacks from the bar.

So walked up to space. Was already 9:30 or so at this point. Where tf did the tine go I wondered Had felt like I left dulce vita just 30 minutes ago. As I walk in I immediately see the same smoking hot black gurl I had taking home a week or so ago. I had had a less than stellar experience with her though when I took her home. She is easily the hottest black gurl I ever seen in Cartegena since living here though.

She looked me and smiled as to invite me over. I gave alher a wink and walked right past her. Saw a few girls I had previously All had given bad performances though so I was not interested. All these vultures keot eyeing me the whole time I was there. No good place to sit. I politely asked a Colombian guy who was sitting on a sofa if he minded if I sat in the empty seat next to him. He acted somewhat offended with an angry look on hus face and told me no to go sit somewhere else Fucking puta. Acting like he is a big shot or something in space club haha. I don't like unfriendly people like that. I kept my cool though and said no problem.

I walked around and sat in a corner on an edge of the wall producing out in the back right side of the club.

One girl who could dance really, about 20 feet away from me kept eying me while dancing. She looked very hot from a distance. I motioned for her to come over for me and she shook her head saying no and for me to cone there. I waved my hand as to say no. After a few of these subtle exchanges she finally came over to me. I noticed her face was not nearly as pretty as it looked from the distance. And she had extra fat on her stomach. I danced with her one time then she asked me fir a drink. I told her sorry that I had to go meet my friend and I would be back later. She left and some new talent that I had never seen before in all if centro cane in.

3 absolute stunners all friends with each other. It was only 10:30 at this point. Each one had perfect petite bodies, but great curves. I walked up to the one with the prettiest face. Smoking hot chica. She looked like a young Penelope Cruz in her prime. Of course she did not speak any English but I did some basic small talk started negotiating with her. She firmly wanted 600,000 pesos for all night.

Still not quite drunk enough at thus point. I told her I would think about it and be back. I thought her looks were perfect but I did not feel the genuine chemistry there to justify that price.

So I left and walked around fir another 30 minutes drinking a strong pina colada that I had some random bar make in a to go cup for me. Had them put a few extra shits in there for a 20 peso tip.

That one really hit me hard with the Lyrica combined. I felt I was floating and very euphoric. Everything I saw would move left and right. Hard to describe. But when I walked I couldn't feel myself walked it was more like I was gliding. And the music was powerful.

At thus point I somehow found my way into Isis. It is very close to space it turns out. I had a very positive experience at Isis the last time was there so decided to give it a try. A really nice acting pretty girl was working the front door. She opened the door for me and started to follow me. Surprised I turned to her and saw her dancing to the music right behind me. In my mind this felt like hooking up with a hostess. So something I had always wanted to do.

I immediately grabbed her to me and started making out with her sensing her great energy. She kissed me and then stopped as the door opened again from right behind us and teasingly hit me on the shoulder. I walked to the bar with her holding my hand and got us both one beer.

One thing I noticed. It was hot asf in Isis this night unless you sat directly in front of a fan. I was sweating a lot. My god I thought. Can't this dump afford proper AC. Anyways, the girl was 23 years old she said straight from Venezuela and just a ball of positive energy in general. She was not what I would call a stunner like the Penelope Cruz look alit in space. But her energy and attitude were extremely attractive. And she had a nice little body with a friendly girl next door vibe. I could just tell we would have some epic sex. You can just tell once you have a lot of experience with these women.

Anyways, back to the story. Me and the girl had great chemistry. I told her I wanted to go after this beer. She agreed. I told her all night for 250 k pesos haha. Of course she countered offered at a much high price. We eventually got it down to 400 k pesos for all night.

So we got a taxi and left.

Once we got to my building though, there is this complete old grumpy lady security guard. She said there us a new rule and that no none who isn't pre registered can enter at night tine. I was so pissed off. I told her in Spanish that I pay a lot of money to live here and that I have already booked one more month as well. This fucking **** is just a very rude nasty little person in general.

The male security guard walked with me told me and told me if it was just him he would let me in but hus partner is very strict. The gurl with me decided to try and offer them a tip to let her up. The nazi security guard declined it.

This is the most vile nasty little woman I have ever come across. She reminds me to the very grumpy old ladies in Korea who are just mad at the entire world.

I told the girl screw this dramatic situation and I'm getting you a taxi home. I was too tired to deal with this drama and did not want to go to a hotel only to get price gouged there.

She was pretty disappointed but said she wants to come back and go to the beach with me today. I told her yeah that sounds fun lets just talk later in WhatsApp. She probably already messaged me this morning have not checked yet. And she said she knows its not my fault but please give her at least 50 k pesos for the taxi and time wasted. Sweating my ass off at this point because my shitty building randomly decided to stop using AC in their lobby one day last week. I told her fine here take it. At this point I just wanted to go back to my room and take a shower and sleep. I was wobbly and seeing double. I ran in front of a random taxi to stop him and opened the door and sent her on her way. Sucks I lost the girl. We had some chemistry but oh well. I might meet her today. Price is really too high though IMO.

I do not understand this strictness in Cartagena with having guests up. I am changing rooms in the same building tomorrow and am paranoid that they will pull this stunt with my GF who I am meeting this Thursday.

I told the little front desk worker before I went up that hey this is a beautiful building right over the ocean but you ruin it with your strict rules that always seem to change and for gods sakes fix your lobby air-conditioning and install some automatic front doors. They have these awkward doors that you manually have to pull open. I told her you guys have a potential world class building here with third world behavior / ideology that ruins it.

She yelled at me in Spanish basically telling me if I don't like it I can leave. I told her fir the buildings sake she is the one who should leave. LOL this lady hates me. Fuck her though. Despite having an extra month booked here Ill probably have to leave for Panama soon anyways for business reasons. I just really resent the terrible treatment by her after paying so much money to live her. Everyone else at thus building is cool. But not this little nazi. Her co workers are visibly scared of her. Every time she sees me she gives me lots of trouble. She only works late at night.

Still had a great day and night though yesterday. Looks like I can only bring in new guests during the early day tine hours though before the self righteous shows up to exert her mighty power LOL.

[NapataJohn]

Have heard the kidnappings and gorilla violence have increased along his route.

I hope you meant guerilla not gorilla. Gorillas are rare in COL.

[Mojo Bandit]

I was hoping to drive from Cartagena to Barranquilla and then Santa Marta. See the coast etc. I may have a Colombian along who could drive. The car rental companies all seem to want a credit card and deposits. Only have debit cards and cash. In the USA I have not had a problem. Any solutions? Rent a wreck? Local rental companies?

There really is nothing to see. Shacks and swamp. For the price you pay for a rental car you can actually just use rideshare. The car cost me $50 per day when I drove from Barranquilla to Cartagena and back the same day. An Indriver would have been the same price without all the hassle. Or you could even meet a guy while you are using Indriver and ask him about being your personal driver in his car.

I can concur with Mr E that that there is nothing scenic about that trip. I have made the trip using van service where you ride with muldtiple people and it is dirt cheap. I have gove alone and once I went to Barranquilla and hooked up with a chica and we used the same service to get back to Cartagena. What looks like a coastal highway on the map actually rare gets with eye view of the ocean. If I were in your place I would just look for some kind of van or bus service. Mr E had more experience though and probably more recent.

[NeilGeorge]

I would add that for your own protection it's not a good idea to rent a car, especially a rent a wreck without a major credit card. If there's a problem the credit card company will help resolve it. If you put down a cash deposit, they've got you over a barrel.

Have heard the kidnappings and gorilla violence have increased along his route.

[JjBee62]

There really is nothing to see. Shacks and swamp. For the price you pay for a rental car you can actually just use rideshare. The car cost me $50 per day when I drove from Barranquilla to Cartagena and back the same day. An Indriver would have been the same price without all the hassle. Or you could even meet a guy while you are using Indriver and ask him about being your personal driver in his car.

I would add that for your own protection it's not a good idea to rent a car, especially a rent a wreck without a major credit card. If there's a problem the credit card company will help resolve it. If you put down a cash deposit, they've got you over a barrel.

[Mojo Bandit]

I'm a long time lurker. Did Rio in the Help days. But anyway, first time in Colombia.

Headed to Cartagena first, might go to another city. We're planning on spending 6 nights. We had some questions:


Thanks!

I am going to address some aspects of your questions but there are too many to go into too much detail here.

1. If I only had six days I would just stay in Cartagena. Your going to essentially lose a day traveling and getting set up somewhere else and a three two split isn't enough time in either place.

2/3. I pay a chica 200 k for two hours and BBBJ GFE kissing. YMMV. I have never expected a girl to supply the condems. I never pay before always after.

4. It completely depends on what you are into. No the beaches are not "nice' but they still draw a crowd. The main tourist attraction is the walled in city. It is a UNESCO World Heritage Site because of the preserved old city made up of the original colonial architecture buildings. The old city is surrouded by a defensive wall miles long that would cost a trilliond dollars to build today. It was built during a time when Cartagena was world class trading port, something like Venice Italy when much wealth flowed through the city. If you are not into hiistory and historical architecture, then no you will not care that much about it.

Nexty door to the walled in area is a sister neighborhood called Getsemani that used the be the rundown sketchi stepsister until a few years ago when they brought in the best street artists from around the world and adorned all the buildings with murals and fancy graffiti. Causing a growth in restaurants and services so that recently Forbes mag named Getsemani one of the ten coolest neighborhoods in the world. But you still have to like that sort of thing. Photos below accessible to members.

5 You absolutely have to message each apartment owner and ask outright "can I bring different girls back to my place at night to stay over? What is your policy regarding this and what is the building policy regarding this?" Be upfront about waht you need and ask both the owners policy and the building policy.

7 I don't know.

[RacShack]

I mentioned a few posts back that a few nights ago the doorman at LDV would not not let me in. At first I thought it was maybe too crowded or Covid related. When I came back ten minutes later, I received the same rejection and then the guy told me not to wait near the door but across the street. Screw that noise so I left. Now you mention that sometimes they don't let you in because they don't think you will get a table or other BS. Has anyone else experienced this difficulty?

I am in Santa Marta now so I peeked in Bananas, this little club with chicas, near Parque Novios. But it was completely empty and the doorman said try back at 10.

Hi bud,

Did you wind up staying at a hotel you mentioned several pages back? Some boutique hotel? Comes with bikes and believe had a pool? Thanks for any information if you like it their! Do they charge for girls? Even if book for 2? And also info on the scene their at the moment, stay safe!