Medellin Reports

[BuddyGoodness]

-Get to the airport 3 hours before your flight. Their screening process is exhaustive and time consuming. Never seen anything like it. They check you twice and if you bring a carry on, they dump the entire thing to cipher through it. And then they ask crazy questions. Why do you have these condoms, how many did you start with. I'm like cmon man, are you a private investigator smh.

Are you talking about just the return flight?

[Da Monger]

10) Viajero. Milk Factory. Frabica de Letche.

9) Reefski,"Three Floors of Wh*res".

8) Oh Ya Papi. The Bat Cave.

7) Superboy1. Paisa Inn.

6) Miami Heat Lover. Downunders.

5) RICKER. La Plazita Paisa.

4) El Bacano. El Bacano Barra.

3) Belvaros. The Boxing Kangaroo. La barra de Boxeo Canguro"

2) Jonesie. Hold My Penis

1) Aussie Greg. The Slaughter House. El Materdero.

Sticky Wicket (Wet Pitch)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sticky_wicket

[Stmp24]

Got back from Medellin a week ago. I went April 27-30. I rate the trip a '4' for the reasons I will describe below. However, lets start with the positives.

PROS:

-The MOST Beautiful Women in the World. I have never seen ratios like this in my life and I've been everywhere noteworthy besides Vegas and Brazil. Those are two big destinations but nonetheless Medellin is in the top 3. The women are beautiful, go to Santa Fe or Premium Plaza and you will be a witness (Stay away from Rio Sur-place was ghost town on a Friday night). Now plastic surgery is big there but its not overdone where it looks disgusting. Nice boobs and plump butts. Even with the plastic surgery, you can't discount the looks on the women faces. Certfied 12s.

-City prides itself on physical fitness. On Sunday, they shut down driving lanes throughout the entire city for an hour so people can walk, run or do whatever exercise they deem plausible. You can tell they stress their physique as I did not see one obese person. Yes, there were a few that were overweight but for the most part everyone is in good shape.

-Gorgeous city. The airport sits atop of the mountains and the city is enclosed inside the mountains. Somewhat like a bowl. Definitely a site to see if you are the adventurous type.

-The casas are a GO. New Life is now 38, 000 pesos for the half and there is a casa around the corner from New Life with a blue door (directions from New Life: go down the hill, make the 1st left and it's the first blue door on your right). You pick the girl and then you go to the hotel next door which has a Jacuzzi also. Major plus. The rate at this casa was 32, 000 pesos (about 22 bucks. My type of party LOL). I picked Mickey-cute and fresh with a great personality and a love for the camera. I'll post the pics later.) At New Life I picked Jessica, no photos but she's a good one to have. She has the slutty look with a plump bottom. She's one of the better ones there. The lineup in both casas wasn't the best but for the value, can't beat it.

Side Note: There is an old white guy in front of New Life. He will probably come up to you asking if you are looking for New Life as you're going to stick out. This guy is golden. He will let you know where all the casas are and which ones are closed and open on the sheet of casas listed on the server. Use the sheet but talk with him before going to those places as some of them were closed and I couldn't locate one or two. The streets can be a bit confusing at times also.

Ok, now for the CONS:

-You need to speak SPANISH FLUENTLY. I reiterate you must speak SPANISH FLUENTLY. And for the 3rd time, know your DAM SPANISH LOL. Prior to my trip, I read the reviews of others saying the need to speak Spanish but it didn't register until I got there. That's why I am emphasizing the need. You need to know Spanish in Medellin as you would need to know your ABCs to write an English paper. I think that gets the point across. Now I took 4 years of Spanish in high school and I know the past, present and imperfect tenses, many of the regular used verbs and a significant amount of nouns. We met some women for dinner and I was able to have an hour convo but the stress on the mind of conjugating was too much. I felt like I was in a Spanish think tank, more less on vacation. Now my compadre didn't know anything but the basics. Forget about it, he was done before he started. They speak fast and a lot of times disregard your demand for them to speak slow. I assume since they are not a 3rd world city, they refuse to have the American customs practiced in Medellin although locals stated otherwise. Of the locals there, I say we met about 3 who spoke ok English.

-The women aren't so welcoming. We would walk down the street and say Hola! Many times they would keep walking or hold their head down. As many have said before, Medelliners party in groups. They mix when they know someone else in another group. Don't go here thinking you are going to be treated as KING JOFFIE JOFFA. In DR, women come up to you constantly and you are treated like royalty. Don't expect the same in Medellin as this is not a buffet. You can't get whatever you want. I struck conversation with a few top notchers and after a few lines, I let them know I wanted them and asked how much. They kindly rejected my offer. I think the reasoning is that they are not an impoverished city like Puerto Plata. The city is of the likes of Chicago and Newark, NJ. So no, every woman is not a prepago.

-Don't go in April, rained every day. Damper.

-Fase Dos, the premier strip club (which is behind Premium Plaza) is ok. The talent wasn't mind blowing (I say about 3 were LOL) and its more of a gentlemans club than strip club. The women don't dance on you in the open area. Rather they dance on a stage and after their show, they go around asking for tips. To take one to the back room will run you about $100-$110 although locals say its $75. When I was in Medellin, I'm thinking $100 is American prices. However once I made it back to the States, I realized the quality of the women there for $100 would charge you $400 so take that perspective with you and you may be willing to dole out a Ben Franklin on some puta. They do have an after hours place in the Downtown district called La Nepa. However they were asking for the same prices smh. I got to the point where I was going to dish out the Ben Franklin but this girl was no where to be found after I made the decision.

-Parque Lleras seems more like a college bar town. Barrio Colombia is the place to go for partying. Prizma and a few other clubs are tucked away off the main street so make sure you go two streets up in both directions to get a view of all the clubs. There is a swingers bar in Barrio Colombia called Dreams. It looks like an apt. But it's definitely not. They have a website, I'll see if I still have the business card.

-City Shuts down on Sunday, make sure you exchange enough money on Saturday for Sunday too. I was walking around forever and figured the Carlton Hotel would have an exchange center and they did but it was 170 pesos less than the norm. Santa Fe Mall does have an exchange center so that's your backup option.

Good Things to Know:

-Watch out when you're in the road. They have no problem with hitting your ass and this is coming from someone who lives in NYC where everyone thinks we have the craziest drivers. Ain't got nothing on Medellin.

-Get to the airport 3 hours before your flight. Their screening process is exhaustive and time consuming. Never seen anything like it. They check you twice and if you bring a carry on, they dump the entire thing to cipher through it. And then they ask crazy questions. Why do you have these condoms, how many did you start with. I'm like cmon man, are you a private investigator smh.

-Oscar is a legit taxi driver. He drove us to the airport for 65, 000 pesos. The yellow taxis do it for 57, 000 but Oscar knows English so you're better off paying the extra $5 to ride comfy and get the low down on the hot spots around town. He was telling us of a casa in Parque Lleras but it was closed on Sunday and we left Monday. So you may want to ask him about that. His contact info is (300) 696-1232.

All in all my vacation wasn't the best and I hear mixed reviews on Cali and Cartagena being better than Medellin so I am hesitant to return to Colombia. However, I hope the info helps the brotherhood.

[Bart1]

Why is the moderator not requesting and moving the posts on Casa Blanca out of 'Medellin Reports' into in own 'Casa Blanca Medellin' thread?

[Aussie Greg]

10) Viajero. Milk Factory. Frabica de Letche.

9) Reefski,"Three Floors of Wh*res".

8) Oh Ya Papi. The Bat Cave.

7) Superboy1. Paisa Inn.

6) Miami Heat Lover. Downunders.

5) RICKER. La Plazita Paisa.

4) El Bacano. El Bacano Barra.

3) Belvaros. The Boxing Kangaroo. La barra de Boxeo Canguro"

2) Jonesie. Hold My Penis

1) Aussie Greg. The Slaughter House. El Materdero.

[MiamiHeatLuver]

Perhaps off topic maybe but should I be bringing my own condoms or is it possible to get good stuff in Medellin?

I bring my own, I'm not a huge fan of the "today" Colombian condom. I use Kimonos or Sagamis."like its not even there!"

[SlamCity7777]

That is too long a name for a bar, plus having the word `Wh*res` might not go down too well with some people.

Dude it was a joke! I'm sure the original poster meant it as a joke, seeing as how his other idea was the "Fuckshack" and I seconded it as a joke as well. A J O K E. Granted I did not put LOL after the comment but it should be obvious it was a joke.

Some peple.

Really people might be turned off at a business with Wh*re in the name? You don't say? Activate Sarcasm Field.

Good Luck with the Bar what ever the name becomes!

[Ricker]

Guys,

A little bit of goss.

First the hotel was called ¨Hotel Medellin Mansion¨ then it was changed to ¨Hotel Casa Blanca¨ and now, wait for it!

¨Hotel Medellin Plaza¨!

A. G.

My first bar name suggestion was a joke really.

Makes sense that since the hotel name will be Hotel Medellin Plaza, the name of it's bar would be fitting as:

La Plazita

La Plazita Paisa.

Someting of that nature.

[Viajero]

Milk Factory (fabrica de Leche)

[Superboy1]

We have a winner!"Three Floors of Wh*res" gets my vote!

That is too long a name for a bar, plus having the word `Wh*res` might not go down too well with some people.

[Belvaros]

Sadly reminds me of that awesome Singapore "disco","6 Floors of working girls", that stupendous nightclub full of premium Thai pussy. Oh for the days when Singapore was but another island and not a billionaires tax dodge retreat.

[SexMachine1987]

Perhaps off topic maybe but should I be bringing my own condoms or is it possible to get good stuff in Medellin?

[Socker]

We have a winner!"Three Floors of Wh*res" gets my vote!

Very impressive bunch here, but I don't see any winners. Why don't you ask the ladies what they think of this original idea?

Wow. This is real funny. Thanks!

[Oh Ya Papi]

I say the "Fuckshack" or "Three Floors of Wh*res".

Reef.

Man cool! Fuckshack! Hahahha

Three floors of working girls is so lame in fact I never even use that word / term " working girl" or " hooker" that has been bred / indoctrinated into you from EEUU! Hahah FUCKSHACK! Good as is the BATCAVE!

[SlamCity7777]

I say the "Fuckshack" or "Three Floors of Wh*res".

Reef.

We have a winner!"Three Floors of Wh*res" gets my vote!