General Info

[Parkinsons]

What other country do you know of that chicks beg like they do in DR? I was down in Santiago Chile the other day and had not had a chance to change money. My girl bought me a bus pass with $8 worth of credit on it. When I finally changed money I tried to give her the equivalent of $10 to repay her. She refused to accept it. Now if that shit would have happened in DR, first of all I would have been walking because the woman would not have come out of her pocket with anything. And if she did and I went to pay her back, then she would have asked for extra.

I do not disagree with your assessment, the sense of entitlement Dominican women have is astonishing. Could be 100% flawed mentality, or 100% economic necessity (poverty). Or more likely 80/20 mix.

However, I will say that to my knowledge and experience, there is also no other countries where a foreigner who does not speak the language and is on a short vacation can have as much access to the local women.

These two factors go hand in hand. It's not important to find out whether the chicken or the egg came first.

I'll take it as what it is. As long as my middle-aged, no-game ass can get on the playing field I handle the curve balls coming my way. Versus another country where I may not get on the playing field at all. Again, I'm speaking as a foreigner who has little command of the local language and is short on time. Mr E you have more game than me.

[Mr Enternational]

Yeah, it is really strange how a lot of these Dominican women who are on international lonely hearts Web sites are either lonely, horny, or looking for money or a visa to leave the island. Who'd have thunk it? Great job in using so much of your invaluable time researching and identifying this transnational social problem!

La vida es asi señor!

[Frannie]

That would be the ex girlfriend I mentioned who said to get away as fast as you can if a Dominicana asks you for money. I recently broke up with her because I get tired of hearing "I feel so alone." It's not just her; I hear that from many women. Still friends though and she still wants us to be together. Just yesterday: No te imaginas las ganas q tengo de estar contigo.

Yeah, it is really strange how a lot of these Dominican women who are on international lonely hearts Web sites are either lonely, horny, or looking for money or a visa to leave the island. Who'd have thunk it? Great job in using so much of your invaluable time researching and identifying this transnational social problem!

[Mr Enternational]

Not so long ago you said you had a girlfriend in the DR who was financially independent and didn't ask you for anything.

That would be the ex girlfriend I mentioned who said to get away as fast as you can if a Dominicana asks you for money. I recently broke up with her because I get tired of hearing "I feel so alone." It's not just her; I hear that from many women. Still friends though and she still wants us to be together. Just yesterday: No te imaginas las ganas q tengo de estar contigo.

[Frannie]

Actually, what I am endorsing is the idea that some chick in a foreign country is far down my priority list of the direction my money is going to go. And I can't understand why I wouldn't be way down their list of people to enlist help from when they have family and friends whom they have known way longer than me. And as far as my family is concerned, they would never ask for help (and if they did it would not be as brazenly as these chicas do) , but if I know they need it and I have it, then it is theirs. That is the reason I gave my cousin $200 when we unexpectedly ran into each other the other day. Now if I was to do that with some random chica what is going to happen next week? As I said earlier, it will be some other problem that they will ask their personal walking atm to help out with. It's not like the solicitation will stop after the first donation. That is why I nip that shit in the bud before it can even get started.

What other country do you know of that chicks beg like they do in DR? I was down in Santiago Chile the other day and had not had a chance to change money. My girl bought me a bus pass with $8 worth of credit on it. When I finally changed money I tried to give her the equivalent of $10 to repay her. She refused to accept it. Now if that shit would have happened in DR, first of all I would have been walking because the woman would not have come out of her pocket with anything. And if she did and I went to pay her back, then she would have asked for extra.

Not so long ago you said you had a girlfriend in the DR who was financially independent and didn't ask you for anything.

[Mr Enternational]

Actually, what I am endorsing is the idea that some chick in a foreign country is far down my priority list of the direction my money is going to go. And I can't understand why I wouldn't be way down their list of people to enlist help from when they have family and friends whom they have known way longer than me. And as far as my family is concerned, they would never ask for help (and if they did it would not be as brazenly as these chicas do) , but if I know they need it and I have it, then it is theirs. That is the reason I gave my cousin $200 when we unexpectedly ran into each other the other day. Now if I was to do that with some random chica what is going to happen next week? As I said earlier, it will be some other problem that they will ask their personal walking atm to help out with. It's not like the solicitation will stop after the first donation. That is why I nip that shit in the bud before it can even get started.

What other country do you know of that chicks beg like they do in DR? I was down in Santiago Chile the other day and had not had a chance to change money. My girl bought me a bus pass with $8 worth of credit on it. When I finally changed money I tried to give her the equivalent of $10 to repay her. She refused to accept it. Now if that shit would have happened in DR, first of all I would have been walking because the woman would not have come out of her pocket with anything. And if she did and I went to pay her back, then she would have asked for extra.

[Frannie]

I had to explain to her that just because we are foreigners does not mean we are rich. We have our own bills and our own families (mom, dad, kids, aunts, uncles, cousins) that need help to. How would I look sending money to a chick overseas when I know I have a cousin who I grew up with that is struggling to put food on the table?

So how much a month are you sending to your cousin? And why do you not post in a public forum suggesting that your cousin gets a job, or two jobs, or food stamps if struggling to eat?

Basically you are endorsing the idea of a person who has some spare money sending it to another who does not, but you are just saying that you prefer to send it to your cousin who you grew up with than to this chica who presumably is giving you sex. Well, it is your money and it is your decision, and you can do what you want with your money, but I am sure you are not posting on some other board to complain about your cousin asking you for money for food, so why complain about Dominican women doing it?

Surely Dominican women are just as likely, or more likely, to have food security issues as your cousin whom I assume must be in the US and able to collect US benefits such as SNAP, EIC, CHIP, AFDC, unemployment benefit, Social Security disability benefit, Medicaid, free school meals, and so on.

[Tempoecorto]

Even in the US poor working women in a similar situation cannot do this without the support of a variety of programs including tax payer supported schooling, free transportation to school, free school meals for the indigent, CHIP, SNAP, Medicaid, EIC, and so on. Are you not aware of all these supports that single mothers get in in the US above the money they work for? These things are not available in the DR.

When I see the gramophone record of asking DR women to help themselves, I shake my head in disbelief. I find some males here have real short memories. Some went to college thanks to Govt programs and quotas in colleges and not because they scored 1600 on their SAT. Those that could not or did not make college, saw the good life including travel abroad thanks to another popular Government program called the Armed services. When someone who grew personally and professionally thanks to Government handouts becomes a Reaganomics professor, there is something amiss. If nothing else, compassion I thought is a good Christian value, even though I am not a Christian.

[Tempoecorto]

"Que malo" does not mean "what bad?" It means "what a villain!" or "what a bastard!" "how lousy" or something like that.

You might ask "Cual cosas malas tienes en tu vida?".

Well seeing the question mark after "que malo" should make the woman think a bit but many would not notice it or know the difference say, with an exclamation mark. Which would lead her to "que malo (que eres)". In general, I agree,"cual cosas malas" rather than "que malo" may obviate such confusion.

[OldKool]

E was at one time a pimp, His opinion of women IMHO is quite warped. He has a lack of compassion for poor women. All male female relationships have a strong economic component. Women have always needed a man who provides while they took care of the children. When this model breaks down shit goes real bad fast. If a chica can get a guy to sponsor her she made out. Barring the Easter bunny and Santa that shit is not happening to often. O ya the 160 dollars a month they make will feed you for month.

But one has to ask how the one with three jobs takes care of her children, because that can be a full time job on its own. Presumably she has someone else like a mother who takes care of them while she is at the three jobs. I know a woman here is the US who has 3 kids and works up to about 70 hours a week with overtime, but she could not do this without her mother taking care of the kids including a baby of 6 months of age (obviously very demanding of phyical care, feeding, etc, and two others who have to be dressed for school and fed, etc, supervised, entertained, etc.

We don't know what extended family resources your 2-kid chica can rely on. If she has no marketable skills it very unlikely that she could earn enough to maintain an independent household, plus provide adequately for the kids, buy school supplies, medicines, plus pay for child care when she is at work.

Even in the US poor working women in a similar situation cannot do this without the support of a variety of programs including tax payer supported schooling, free transportation to school, free school meals for the indigent, CHIP, SNAP, Medicaid, EIC, and so on. Are you not aware of all these supports that single mothers get in in the US above the money they work for? These things are not available in the DR.

Obviously you are under no obligation to pay to support her or her children, but the solution is probably for you to either find a woman who is financially independent in the first place or stick strictly to pay for play, because the Dominican women whom you meet online will inevitably be those who don't have paid professions, but those who are looking for relationships that provide them with some kind of financial support for themselves and their children.

[Frannie]

Another chick has two kids and the father is Dominican but lives in Spain. He has a kid there now but no job. She said he was providing better when he was still in DR. I asked how much he sends and she said 70 euro / month but it's not enough. I said how much is enough. She said 12000 pesos. Then she got mad and asked why I'm asking all of this if I'm not going to help her. I said shit for general knowledge. Then she claimed I was playing with her and said that she wants a man who is going to give her what she doesn't have. I jumped in her shit and told her I was not that man. I am never going to give money to a woman. I told her that I know a chick in Santiago who has 3 jobs and she claims she can't get 1? She said if I keep that attitude I won't be able to find anyone. I blew up then and asked her how she could say that when her mindset is that she has to find someone to take care of her instead of finding a job so that she can take care of herself. She is a damn adult. I know over 100 countries and don't know any other culture where women think they have to find a man to pay their bills instead of finding a damn job. It's ridiculous. I told her that my ex girlfriend is a single Dominicana and has two young kids that she takes care of. She told me that if a Dominican woman ever asks you for money then RUN! It's just pure sorriness.

But one has to ask how the one with three jobs takes care of her children, because that can be a full time job on its own. Presumably she has someone else like a mother who takes care of them while she is at the three jobs. I know a woman here is the US who has 3 kids and works up to about 70 hours a week with overtime, but she could not do this without her mother taking care of the kids including a baby of 6 months of age (obviously very demanding of phyical care, feeding, etc, and two others who have to be dressed for school and fed, etc, supervised, entertained, etc.

We don't know what extended family resources your 2-kid chica can rely on. If she has no marketable skills it very unlikely that she could earn enough to maintain an independent household, plus provide adequately for the kids, buy school supplies, medicines, plus pay for child care when she is at work.

Even in the US poor working women in a similar situation cannot do this without the support of a variety of programs including tax payer supported schooling, free transportation to school, free school meals for the indigent, CHIP, SNAP, Medicaid, EIC, and so on. Are you not aware of all these supports that single mothers get in in the US above the money they work for? These things are not available in the DR.

Obviously you are under no obligation to pay to support her or her children, but the solution is probably for you to either find a woman who is financially independent in the first place or stick strictly to pay for play, because the Dominican women whom you meet online will inevitably be those who don't have paid professions, but those who are looking for relationships that provide them with some kind of financial support for themselves and their children.

[Frannie]

Is it something wrong with my Spanish or something wrong with their memory? Often times when I am writing with a Dominicana (it does not happen with people from other Spanish speaking countries) they make a statement and I follow up on their statement and it totally escapes them as to what the hell I am talking about. Case in point:

Jackie: Papi yo le doy gracias a Dios por todo por lo bueno why LO MALO en mi vida.

Me: Que MALO?

Jackie: Por que tu ahora solo dice que malo?

I had to copy what she said and say look where you just wrote THE BAD. I am asking WHAT BAD? Then she was like oh, okay. There are moments in life that are not always perfect.

Yes, you are quite right in thinking that you are missing the point because of your limited knowledge of Spanish.

"Que malo" does not mean "what bad?" It means "what a villain!" or "what a bastard!" "how lousy" or something like that.

You might ask "Cual cosas malas tienes en tu vida?".

Also when she says this "lo malo and lo bueno" is a kind of stock phrase she is using to express that she accepts totally whatever God make happen in her life, meaning something like "for better or for worse" or "both the good and the evil".

This is a bit similar to the Muslim concept of Allah In sha' Allah, follows quote from Wikipedia:

In sha'Allah is said when speaking about plans and events expected to occur in the future. The phrase also acknowledges submission to God, with the speaker putting him or herself into God's hands. Muslims believe that everything is maktub [lit.: written] and so whatever it is one wishes to do, will only occur if it is within God's plan. This does not take away from the concept of free will. One's use of insha'Allah indicates not one's desire to succeed in an endeavor, but rather that the endeavor one embarks on will be within God's will, which might be interpreted as that which is best for humanity, the Earth, and all of Allah's creation.

So she is saying that she is submitting to the will of God, and you are saying "What a bummer!"

You are welcome.

[Mr Enternational]

Is it something wrong with my Spanish or something wrong with their memory? Often times when I am writing with a Dominicana (it does not happen with people from other Spanish speaking countries) they make a statement and I follow up on their statement and it totally escapes them as to what the hell I am talking about. Case in point:

Jackie: Papi yo le doy gracias a Dios por todo por lo bueno why LO MALO en mi vida.

Me: Que MALO?

Jackie: Por que tu ahora solo dice que malo?

I had to copy what she said and say look where you just wrote THE BAD. I am asking WHAT BAD? Then she was like oh, okay. There are moments in life that are not always perfect...

[Mr Enternational]

This is very profound. It should be someone's tag line. May I borrow it?

This and."How much money should I send? One dollar is one too many, and a million dollars is not nearly enough."

Man recently I have been getting on chicks left and right about the begging. I tell them up front now. If you want money, you are with the wrong person. One chick said she was sick and needed money. She sent pictures of her in the hospital and all. This is one that I probably like the most of them all. I told her no. She said, but if your lady is sick then you should take care of her. I told her that today she is sick, tomorrow she will be hungry; it will always be something. I had to explain to her that just because we are foreigners does not mean we are rich. We have our own bills and our own families (mom, dad, kids, aunts, uncles, cousins) that need help to. How would I look sending money to a chick overseas when I know I have a cousin who I grew up with that is struggling to put food on the table? I asked her that now that she knows where I stand on that is she finished with me and she said no.

Another chick has two kids and the father is Dominican but lives in Spain. He has a kid there now but no job. She said he was providing better when he was still in DR. I asked how much he sends and she said 70 euro / month but it's not enough. I said how much is enough. She said 12000 pesos. Then she got mad and asked why I'm asking all of this if I'm not going to help her. I said shit for general knowledge. Then she claimed I was playing with her and said that she wants a man who is going to give her what she doesn't have. I jumped in her shit and told her I was not that man. I am never going to give money to a woman. I told her that I know a chick in Santiago who has 3 jobs and she claims she can't get 1? She said if I keep that attitude I won't be able to find anyone. I blew up then and asked her how she could say that when her mindset is that she has to find someone to take care of her instead of finding a job so that she can take care of herself. She is a damn adult. I know over 100 countries and don't know any other culture where women think they have to find a man to pay their bills instead of finding a damn job. It's ridiculous. I told her that my ex girlfriend is a single Dominicana and has two young kids that she takes care of. She told me that if a Dominican woman ever asks you for money then RUN! It's just pure sorriness.

[Iguana Six]

Do not send any money, she made a living before she met you, and she will make a living once you are gone.

In case you send money, be prepared that it will never be enough. And add amout x for the monthy / weekly emergencias / emergencies

This is very profound. It should be someone's tag line. May I borrow it?

This and."How much money should I send? One dollar is one too many, and a million dollars is not nearly enough."