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[Crazy Jim Wood]

...week of midsummer night in helsinki is probably the best week and the easiest place in the world to get laid. Everyone gets soused for 3 straight days, there's a public campout near the bay, and all the through the day and night, through the drunken revelry, all that you hear are the moans and groans of people getting it on. Really, easiest pickings on the planet. And it's all free...

You are probably right. I was offered a ride to the festival in Tampere, by a fine young(ish) thing, let us call her Miss L, but only a one way ride... I guess I was to find my own way back. I think she saw me in action and figured I could find my back. On the one hand it would have been a glorious adventure. However I was supposed to leave next day, and I did not want to tempt the fates, perhaps upsetting the wrong Finn, and getting left in the woods or worse the lake...

So for me, the bars are still a better option, and the bars were packed without even standing room with live bands except day before Johanoos (is that how you say it?) when there were not nearly as many people in the bars. So if you feel more comfortable in a bar, the festival kind of empties the bars. Maybe next time I will venture forth into the outdoors...

On a side note, Miss L and this other woman, let us call her Miss B, wanted to connect on facebook,,, or on twitter,,, what is with that? Is that a brush off, or are they serious about connecting? I told Miss L I had neither, but if she gave me her cell I would call, she said she had no paper, I said I have this 10 Euro note I will not spend until I call you, but she did not seem crazy about that. In retrospect, that is a pretty stupid idea, imagine, putting your cell phone on a 10 Euro note that will travel all over Europe and will last for hundreds of years...

[Crazy Jim Wood]

The first night I was in Henry's Pub, I started talking to this beautiful little Finnish girl, she had a very easy to pronounce name, we will call her A here to protect the innocent. Actually, I saw her with some older fatter guy, and when I came close by I heard him speaking in English telling some sad, boring story.

So I siddled up to her and whsipered in her ear "I'm going to save you from making a mistake with an older man so you can make a bigger mistake with a younger man", and my rather audacious introduction amused her greatly. I said, let me introduce you to my friend from New York, and I grabbed this guy I had been talking to earlier, who was actually Finnish but who cares. So he pretends to be American and of course the older, fatter American insists he is Finnish, but obviously it is just a game and Miss A and I just find everything one another says so incredibly funny, for example, we make fun of fake New Yorker's shirt (he was wearing a striped polo shirt). I said well what part of his shirt do you like, and she said the black borders between the stripes. Well this was all outrageously funny.

So I began getting closer and closer and now whispering even more audacious things in her ear and before I knew it I also had an arm around her waist and began to nuzzle her neck and ear and then what do you know it we were talking about hickies. So we decided to give each other hickies. Wow. I still have a little blue bruise on my neck. I got a look at her in the mirror before she left the next day, and she had three large, angry black-red raspberries. I can only imagine they are still there also. Well after enough hickies we started kissing. Now I must admire Finnish ingenuity, as their bar tables are no flimsy things, I have her bent over with tongue down throat doing a tonsilectomy and the table did not flip over or even wobble.

It was getting on 2 am, she starts to ask about hotel, if we have sauna and free breakfast, i say yes, she says do you have a condom in your room? I say yes, as a matter of fact, I do, then she says lets go, and then we frolick through the streets back to my hotel. Well that's what it felt like. Probably looked more like drunken stumble. I remember shouting random inane things. At some point I picked her up and ran through the streets. She was very hieght-weigh proportional, with nice meaty arms and legs, but not at all fat, quite light in my arms.

Well we get back to the room and I pull her clothes off, and wow, she is even hotter under clothes, tits firm not too big but healthy sized nipples, flat belly, oviously nulliparous, she says she is 19-year-old, I laugh and tell her I am twice her age (it is funny, all the Finns thought I was a student, does that mean I look young, or do I look poor and stupid, I don't know). She was by and far youngest, best-looking, least baby-damaged piece of ass I have had as long as I can remember. She gives surprisingly good head. I go to return the favor and oh what a beautiful pussy. I notice her pussy hair is very thin, light brown, but her other hair was black, guess she dyed it, she said her natural color was red. Of course she had nice tramp stamp. God I love a tramp stamp.

Well I go to put on the condom, but Little Jim is having none of it and decides to hide. So I give up and put the condom down, we start to suck face and then little Jim decides to come out and play. So we decide to do it bareback, sucking face and oh God so glorious, smooth 19-year-old pussy with no condom in the way. I think I went into a daze, I can't really remember what happened next. The next thing I know I'm on top of her again and (did i mention beds were very small, little twin beds) we started to fall out of bed, thank god again for sturdy finnish furniture because I was able to brace myself on the nightstand. That kind of ended that bout.

I wake up again it is morning I have horrible headache and feel like i got to shit, but she wants to go again, asks for condom, I tell her I only had one, so we decide to go bareback again. We suck face for a while, then I ask her to roll over. Well that was a mistake, because I go to get up on top of her, and the room starts to spin and I have to lie down. So I start to lick her pussy, but I have cotton tongue, and the thin little wispy hairs start to feel like an impenetrable forrest, and then I feel a turtle head poking out and I have to run take that shit.

Well this has kind of destroyed the mood and she asks to shower. Funny how that happens. She starts talking about going to the sauna together then to breakfast in our towels (is that possible or was she fucking with me?) She showers and comes out,, I tell her we overslept breakfast, she suddenly gets very cold towards me. Maybe she started to sober up realized she had barebacked a dirty foreigner twice her age lol. So I stare at her worshipping the beautiful, lithe, white 19-year-old beauty, while helping her to find her underwear, but it is very obvious she just wants to leave. I walk her downstairs, she tells me she is a shy person and now does not want to touch at all. She leaves her number says I can call then takes off like a bat out of hell. Of course she never answers my calls. But she does have nice message, sounds airy and outdoorsy like Finnish summer, wtih children laughing and dogs barking in the background. I dont know wtf is being said in the message, but I'm pretty sure it's her number and not Domino's.

Well I guess there is a lot to be said here about drinking, don't go to the bar before 11 pm, because by the witching hour (magic last hour before closing) you will be so drunk off your ass you can't perform.

She was so hot and all I have is blurry photo we took together (damn camera wouldnt focus), fading memories, fading hicky, and a telephone with a message on it I can't understand.

[Iseeu]

First, let me tell you, I DO NOT SEE HOW A PROSTITUTE CAN MAKE A LIVING IN FINLAND!
It is basically impossible to go home alone at night!
It is just a matter of how low you want to set your bar (or how drunk you want to get in order to equalize your beer goggles).
Second, DO NOT VISIT FINLAND THE WEEK OF 24 JUNE!
That is midsummer night festival, the place is very empty, so you will need tolower your bar. However, if lowering your bar, or ramping up the intensity of your beer goggles, are not problems for you, go for it!
So maybe I should re-categorize this second statement to choose any week other than 24 June as your first choice to visit Finland and choose week of 24 June only as your second choice.

I'm from the same sex penitentiary as you are and used to spend alot of time in Finland. I couldn't agree with you more about the easy availability of Finnish women and their openness about what they want. Agree also about the need and to avoid talking politics or religion with them, unless as you wrote, you have no moral backbone and just agree with every populistic opinion of theirs. Found that trying to speak the language and mangling it was a great opening with alot of these women, particularly the single women in their mid 20's- early 30's who always seemed to be on the hunt.
I have to disagree with one point. The week of midsummer night in helsinki is probably the best week and the easiest place in the world to get laid. Everyone gets soused for 3 straight days, there's a public campout near the bay, and all the through the day and night, through the drunken revelry, all that you hear are the moans and groans of people getting it on. Really, easiest pickings on the planet. And it's all free.

Great report, and looking forward to reading more of your exploits.

[Crazy Jim Wood]

I had a part-time job in Tampere this summer. I worked at Henry's Pub for 1 week as an intern. My duties consisted of holding the wall up until I helped close the place down at 4 am, or until I escorted a young lady back to my room.
First, let me tell you, I DO NOT SEE HOW A PROSTITUTE CAN MAKE A LIVING IN FINLAND!
It is basically impossible to go home alone at night!
It is just a matter of how low you want to set your bar (or how drunk you want to get in order to equalize your beer goggles).
Second, DO NOT VISIT FINLAND THE WEEK OF 24 JUNE!
That is midsummer night festival, the place is very empty, so you will need tolower your bar. However, if lowering your bar, or ramping up the intensity of your beer goggles, are not problems for you, go for it!
So maybe I should re-categorize this second statement to choose any week other than 24 June as your first choice to visit Finland and choose week of 24 June only as your second choice.

Third, DO NOT DISCUSS AMERICAN POLITICS!
I had TWO women turn me down because of OBAMA. They asked me if I liked OBAMA. Even though you are in Finland, do not forget you are still in a gay European country. Of course there is only one answer to this question if you want to get laid. Alas, Crazy Jim Wood has finally found his moraal compass! Even for all the pussy in Finland, I could not say I like Obama. I said no, I cant stand mfing Obama. They were shocked. They said, you mean, you prefer Bush? I waffled. I said I liked Clinton. Although I was ashamed that te president of the most powerful country on earth should have to satisfy himself with a bj from Monica. Although I would have done Monica. Anyway, the Finns are pretty sharp, they said so you say you prefer Bush to Obama, and I could not lie, I said yes, I would take George W and a swim in a pool of sharks over Obama any day of the week. And that ended that. But, if, unlike me, you have no moral compunctions, just say you love Obama and you will be in like Flinn.
Don't discuss anything like politics, religion, etc, because Finns have weird ideas about alll these things surely they will not agree with you, and you will have long convoluted discussions. Only talk about booze and sex. Always steer every conversation back to sex. If you run out of things to say start kissing her. REMAIN FOCUSED!

Fourth, don't spend a lot of time talking with loosers(men)! You should arrive in the bar by midnight, not before 11 pm, and there are lots of loosers, in checkered shirts and high-water pants, who will talk to you. Unless they seem like sharp guys who may be useful in getting it on with women, ditch them, don't get into conversations with old men or drunks, they will scare the women away. However, if the guy seems cool, he may be a useful wingman if you need help approaching a group of women.

I will not waste your time with introduction to Finnish language, it is impossibly complex and everyone understands English. Finnish women are incredibly refreshing, unlike women from all other countries on the planet, they are very blunt, they will tell you exactly what they want, they suffer from few of the inhibitions that seem to plague women of all other countries, and at least half the time, they just come up to you in the bar, and rub against you, leave you in no doubts as to their intentions.

And they are HOT! Really skanky hot, slutty, tramp-stamped... and the country seems devoid of fashion sense!!! Unlike France and other gay European countries, I felt extremely sophisticated and even over-dressed, although all I wore the whole time I was there was a wrinkled t-shirt and some cargo pants. My t-shirt all black was much more fashionable than the checkered button up shirt or striped polo shirt favored by most Finnish men, and cargo pants beat hands down the averaage Finnish man's high-water pants invariably pulled up to his armpits.

In fact, I wore the SAME pair of pants the whole time, I think I changed t-shirt socks and underwear every few days, but sometimes, after a night of drinking and a day of recovery, when I got out of bed to go out the next night, I did not boother getting new clothes, just rolled the previous night's lucky tramp out of my bed abd out the door and put on what I had on the night before and went out again for a night of the same.

Today a full 2 dys after my return I am only barely recovering from my hangover, but also I am in a hurry towrite this all down, as already memories are fading, but I will continue.

[Kevin Fun42]

Any places or areas in Tampere for mongering?

[Jon32]

Any new information on Jyvaskyla? Any information on non-pros?

[Varadero]

Have visited Jaana.

http://www.sexwork.net/girl/3803

Nice girl, photos are true.

From Estonia. Speaks a little english and german. (other languages i could not test)
Prices: Come once, max. 1/2 h with CBJ and normal is 100€.

Extras: 69 = 20€, Anal = 100€

Have selected the standard once with 69 for 120.

Was ok, Started with a Handjob, then CBJ. then me lick her pussy. tasted neutral and ok. Then missionaire. She did not become wet enough and used some gel. changed to Doggy. Wonderful ass. in 10 Minutes i was finished.

Paper in the bathroom, self service please.

At all, she is butiful, and for a short and nice optical fuck it is ok.

But the service is not so good to say that i need her again.

Varadero

[Filou]

Does anyone have reports about Tampere?

[Romano V]

Many prostitutes come to Suomi from the Russian cities of St.Petersburg, Vyborg and Petrozavodsk, Finnish authorities, sociologists and journalists say. Senior inspector from the central criminal police Yari Leskinen says that St.Petersburg criminal groups deal with pandering in Finland's south-eastern part and the region of Finland's old capital Turku.

Prostitutes are taken to Finland for work regularly; they receive men at hotels rented especially for them in small towns. Men from nearby places learn immediately as soon as new girls arrive from Russia. The information is circulated via cellular communication. It is a well-known fact that there are special communication operators in Finland who inform potential clients of arrival of Russian prostitutes beforehand.

Women at the age of 20-50 come to Finland not only for prostitution
Vasily Korovin, an emigrant from the Russian republic of Karelia brings potential brides to a camping near Kouvole. The man was surprised when he discovered an unusual phenomenon in northern parts of Finland. The matter of the fact, when once wood-cutters from a Finnish town bordering Sweden despaired to find brides in their region, they decided to invite Russian girls for New Year celebration in Finland. The idea gave rise to an unusual business plan: Russian girls were invited to Finland to celebrate New Year coming with Finnish bachelors. At that, men pay 250 euro each and girls pay nothing. Vasily Korovin's company covers all the charges connected with visa, medical insurance, traveling expenses, meals and lodging of girls coming from Russia. However, the man does not risk to organize group tours for Russian girls to Finland. It may happen so that girls may be prohibited access to Finland as prostitutes, that is why Vasily has to be on the dodge and invent various tricks for bringing Russian girls to Finland for finding husbands.

[Avatar516]

Is there any action in Lathi? I'll be there for work next week.

Thanks

[Technical]

Is there any action in the ski resort Ruka?

[Viljo]

Bjorn,

A couple of them have a 2 br apartment in the Kymenlukko area less than a km away. I've heard of encounters within the hotel but have no first hand experience.

The girls are fairly attractive and good fux if they like you. Staying sober goes a long way to that end as part of the finnish bar culture is getting shitfaced. Tall, often busty with long strong legs and hips of substance appeal to me so I cannot complain too much. Especially since Jaala, Lapinjarvi and Loviisa have dried up as of late.

[Bjorn Berg]

Hey Viljo,

Do the girls have their own rooms where you can fuck them, or do you have to provide the place yourself? How is the quality?

Thanks.

[Viljo]

The bar at the town's famous pink elephant has now russian pussy available on most weekends. You just gotta be discreet and everything's gonna be smooth. Zero in on very short skirts and high heel boots and picking them out is quite easy. Depending on service and time fees are from 60 eur to 120 eur for the "standard" fare.

[Julien02]

Hi Gabkino,

As I promised, I'm back from Turku and I can give my report.

I have almost nothing to add: you can trust the previous reports (Elton, Boulder).
Giggling marlin: A lot of fairly young girls. Not too difficult to catch one for the night. Only drawback: now closed during the week, only opened fri-sat. The clubs where it redirects are not that nice.

Galax: Older ladies, 80% above 30. Finnish bands, quite old fashioned. Suprisingly more difficult to catch a girl, as some are here only to dance. I anyway managed to catch a math teacher, 38 yo, and she proved later to be great... I did not ''try'' to catch girls in the old bank, but otherwise the bar is nice (was there on tuesday early evening, so quite sparsely populated).

Enjoy and have a good time there. Julien