General Info

[Sex Sommelier]

Important Advice:

If you are coming to Holland do yourself a favor and go to:

www.hookers.nl

This is a review site by and for punters, nothing commercial and no need to pay for access.

The only problem is that it is in Dutch but you can use a translator website. As a short cut: the best girls have the most reviews and there are also numeric scores and icons that indicate the quality (e.g., thumbs up, smileys). The addresses and maps are also given.

This will save you lots of time and minimize bad experiences. There are many working girls in the Amsterdam RLD especially who do the absolute minimum to get your 50 euros. They know they can get away with it because you are a foreign tourist and are unlikely to make a fuzz. Also, the police can't or will not do anything anyway.

[Freeler]

All,

Since I had nuttin' better to do: A Dutch phrasebook (made up not by me...):

""amsterdam phrasebook
learn the lingo

useful language from our non-tourist phrase book:
compiled by Foggy

"I need an ambulance, the spiders are everywhere and I'm really quite scared"
Dutch: Ik heb een ambulance nodig, er zijn overal spinnen en ik ben heel erg bang.
Phonetic: Ick hep un um-boo-luns-uh no-digg, ur sign over-ul spin-nun en ick ben hail air-gggh bung.

"I'm sorry - I've had too much to drink"
Dutch: "Sorry - ik heb te veel gedronken".
Phonetic: Sorry, Ick hep *** fale gggggu-dronk-ken
(the G sound in Dutch is the sound you make whilst dislodging phlegm stuck in the back of your throat)

"Do you charge by the hour, or by the inch?"
Dutch: "Rekent u per uur, of per centimeter?"
Phonetic: Ray-**** ooo purr oo-err, ov purr cent-e-may-***?

"Hi, is it busy inside tonight?"
Dutch: "Hoi, is het vanavond druk?"
Phonetic: Hoy, isss ut van-are-fond drrrr-uck
(Roll your R's)

"I'm here on holiday, my Grandmother is Dutch"
Dutch: Ik ben hier met vakantie, mijn oma komt uit Nederland
Phonetic: Ick ben here met far-****-see, mine oh-mar kom-t out Neigh-der-lund

"Ajax/Feyenoord are the greatest team in the world"
Dutch: Ajax/Feyenoord is de beste club van de wereld.
Phonetic: I-yacks/Faye-yun-noard iss duh bes-*** clup vun duh were-held

"I have diplomatic immunity"
Dutch: Ik heb diplomatische immuniteit.
Phonetic: Ick hep deep-low-mat-ish-uh im-mune-eee-tight

"So, Tulips are great aren't they?"
Dutch: Tulpen zijn gaaf he?
Phonetic: Tull-pen sign gggggarf huh?

"I appear to have soiled myself, could you please call me a taxi?"
Dutch: Ik heb mezelf lichtelijk bevuild, kunt u een taxi voor mij bestellen?
Phonetic: Ick hep muh-self ligggg-tuh-like buh-foult, **** ooh un taksi for my best-helen

"So, what's a nice girl/boy like you doing in a place like this?"
Dutch: Wat doet een leuke meid/jongen als jij nou in een tent als deze?
Phonetic: Wot doot un low-kuh my-d/yong-un arls yigh now in un tent arls day-zuh?

"How much is it?"
Dutch: Hoeveel kost dat?
Phonetic: Who-fail cost duht?

"Please pump my stomach"
Dutch: Kunt u alstublieft mijn maag leegpompen?
Phonetic: **** ooh ul-stew-bleeft mine margh lay-gh-pom-pun?

"Don't tell my girlfriend / wife / boyfriend / husband"
Dutch: Vertel het niet aan mijn vriendin/vrouw/vriend/man.
Phonetic: Fur-tell ut neet on mine vrin-din/frau/vrint/mun.

"Doctor, it really burns/stings/itches"
Dutch: Dokter, het brandt/prikt/jeukt .
Phonetic: Dock-tor, hut bran-t/prick-t/yoke-t""

-Right, now you won't make a fool of yourself on your next visit!, Freeler-

[Sex Sommelier]

Quick website reference list:

www.holland.com

General tourist information by the Dutch tourism board

www.ns.nl

Website to get train schedules and fares

www.locatienet.nl

Gives location and route maps (like mapquest in the US, for example). Important if you venture out to private addresses and clubs away from city centers

http://www.worldlingo.com/products_services/worldlingo_translator.html

Translator website (similar AltaVista Babelfish)

http://rld-info.com

General info on the Amsterdam Red Light district (has pictures and maps)

www.hookers.nl

Punter review site in Dutch, so you might need to use the translator website. Nevertheless, if you are lazy, you can usually infer by the number of posts how good/popular a lady is. The icons (like thumbs up, smiley faces, etc.) should also give some indication. Using this website could save you anger and euros. This is very important in the Amsterdam RLD especially. Hence, find a few well discussed (= fucked) ladies and then jot down her name and address. When in Rome, do who the Romans do.

www.sexplezier.net

General website (in Dutch) with advertisements for escorts, clubs, swinger events, etc. There are quite a few websites like this one so it is by no means authoritative or complete. Yet, it is free to use and a quick way to find some addresses. In addition, the website tries to screen out scams and fakers, so the info is reliable.

[Sex Sommelier]

punter dictionary (dutch – english)

i thought it would be useful to have a list of key words often used and found in many advertisements as well. we should probably have one for every country in this forum. it is always good manners to address the natives in their own language and knowing the key terms can prevent disappointment.

the format i am using is as follows: “dutch term” (“common abbreviation” if needed) = “translation”, “meaning”

zoenen = kissing

tongen = french kissing

intiem = intimate, sex

hoogtepunt (h.p.) = orgasm

neuken = fuck

beffen = cunnilingus

pijpen = blowjob

frans met (f.r.m) = french with, covered oral

frans zonder (f.r.z) = french without, uncovered oral

kont liken = ass licking

russisch = russian, tit fucking

grieks = greek, anal

plassex = rep002 or [CodeWord117]

poepsex = veces sex

i have put together this list with the hope that some others cunning linguists can compile reference lists for those places where english is not commonly spoken by the ladies (asia, eastern europe, and latin-america).

[OttoGraham]

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[Holland Report]

Some of the subscribers in The Hague forum are interested in taking part in ganbang and/or Bukkake meets. I wonder if anyone know's whether there are any in Holland, in the next week or two. If not, I'm thinking of perhaps hiring a girl from the Hague who's up for that kindof thing- sandwiches, face fucking, cumming on face, and maybe charging a 100 per person to take part in a 'home made' gangbang/bukkake event. If 10 people were interested, that'd be 1000 for the girl, so I think we could get someone good looking and open to some really depraved ganbang/bukkake sex. Get in touch if you're interested in this scene and I'll either spread the word or try to arrange something! :-)

[Tolsa]

There is also another place in The Hague that comes alive late night. It's located on the Waldorp straat along the MegaStore shopping center
that's behind Holland Spoor train station. Many cars are cruising around during working hours, the place looked fairly safe (police patrols). I picked up once a teen-look eastern girl for 25E (F&S). very thin, small breast, cute face, nice but bored attitude during the act. Not bad anyway considering the money.
Same idea as Rotterdam, you pick up the girl with your car and go nearby to a place especially setup for the business (hidden individual parking lots).
I saw more than 30 girls working there, a majority of eastern girl (a few are pretty, some are nextdoor type, some fatties also), some Trav, hispanics and locals. They are not all drugaddict, especially the Eastern girls. But indeed they were girls (locals ?) with tired faces.
Car is mandatory. If you don't have a car, go to RLD. Best choice is at Geleenstraat any time of the day.

[rimmer]

I saw today on TV that in Netherland (near Amsterdam I think) there is an area with several illegal easthern european girls. It is outside of the town, clients take a girl on the street in car and there are Box for the car to not be seen, and a trashcan.

Any info on this place?

[BigDutchy]

Holland is a paradise for erotic entertainment. Brothels are legalised and there are hardly any places where you do not find a "sexclub" as most brothels are called.
If you speak dutch, a good site is www.hookers.nl to find comments on places and girls. Also in the yellow pages under "sexclubs" You find addresses. Papers like De Telegaaf and Algemeen Dagblad have large sections classifieds, mostly under "Privé"

[Admin]

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