Saint Petersburg

[Stravinsky]

Hey, it's all Greek to me (so to speak).

Now, since, even with the handcuffs, I'm obviously too much the gentleman, you already know what happened after we finished our drinks.

I'm guessing you weren't balls-deep in her шоколадный глаз (chocolate eye)! Так жалко (so sad)


Thanks for the report about your week with Natasha Pink Hairs. Seems a little pricey: $1,000 USD cash, plus gifts, plus bus/train fare, plus, plus... Боже мой (my God) forget about TJ, I could fly to Vegas for the weekend with all that.

At least you got some free pizza.

[Skwiskwis]

Sprosil I otvetil.

Why don't you just write the Russian words in Cyrillic? So this is the process:

Photo below is of a girl I met in Petersburg on Mamba a year ago, but who moved to Tver. Met her again for a week this month in Petersburg. Offered to buy her a train ticket, as I was a gentleman, but she insisted on taking the Bus (this is a plot point, by the way). Now I know what your thinking, looking at her photo: she's only a 4/5, but you will just have to take my word for it that she looks better in person. So you can stop reading here if you like: duration: 1 week; Presents (since I was a gentleman), perfume, chocolates, and something she chose from Victorias Secret; cash donative: $1000. Oral with no condom. Classic with. Anal: 'Do I look like I want to have a bowl movement during sex?' (that's a poetic translation of what she said); Handcuffs: only after a bottle of wine and two shots of tequila, with Rammstein playing. Oh, and the cost of her bus tickets, which I can't even remember, but they weren't expensive. Airfare from the US was around $1000.00; apartment was $50 a night. Taxi from Pulkovo was 400 rubles each way.

So, if your still reading, here's the really interesting part. When I met her, she turned up with her best friend, who was arriving to meet some guy she met on the internet. The guy met them with a friend (I was late), and they were all waiting for me, chatting, when I arrived. And then, even though I had a taxi, the guy insisted on giving us a ride to the apartment I rented (on Airbnb) (another plot point, by the way). We took the taxi, but I noticed the guy followed us in his car. Jump to the next day, we are still in bed (I had not been much of a gentleman, unless handcuffing the girl your with to the bedpost qualifies in Russia as gentlemanly. Just might, come to think of it.), it's around 11.30 AM, and there is furious bleeping on the buzzer downstairs. The guy and Natasha Pink Hairs best friend have turned up, and the guy, so much the gentleman, wants to take us all to lunch. His idea of a gentlemanly lunch is Pizza Hut. Now the girl I am with, of course, wants to talk to her friend and hear about her meeting with internet guy, so, of course, being a gentleman, we go. And, internet guy, the gentleman he is, buys us all pizza. After a while I hit the toilet, return, and find the two girls talking, internet guy nowhere to be seen. He's off running some errand, I'm told. We wait. And wait. An hour goes by, and then internet guys friend, also too much a gentleman, turns up, with a suitcase. The suitcase of Natasha Pink Hairs best friend. It turns out internet guy didn't like Natasha Pink Hairs friend, and was ever so gentlemanly letting her know she could stay somewhere else, via a proxy of course, since real gentleman don't dump girls in person in Petersburg. And so, now at the table, the three of us are all quiet, not wanting to say anything, because in such a situation anything spoken would make it worse. Even coughing could make it worse. Eye contact. You get the picture? Being a gentleman, however, once the silence becomes maddening, I suggest we go to a cafe and have a drink. Or 20.

Now, since, even with the handcuffs, I'm obviously too much the gentleman, you already know what happened after we finished our drinks.

Rules of Petersburg.

Rule 10: Never go to Pizza Hut.

[Stravinsky]

I would prefer to use the Cyrillic but unfortunately I don't know how. I wrote in Cyrillic yesterday and the forum put in meaningless numbers so I had to edit it in Roman.

It's true, Jackson has the text editor configured to thwart the use of non-Roman characters, but there is a workaround.

The text editor only filters characters when you upload your report, but not when you edit it. So this is the process:

1) Write your report just as you want it to look, Cyrillic characters included.
2) Copy the text of your report.
3) Upload your report.
4) Edit your report after it has uploaded.
5) Delete the text in your uploaded report, with all the gibberish.
6) Paste the text of your original report into the editor.
7) Save your edited report, you should see the Cyrillic characters once it's been updated.

NB: If you write more than one word, or a short phrase, make sure to include a translation of the Russian Cyrillic in English, this is our offering to the Admin Gods to keep them happy.

I always run the Russian text through an online translator first, just to make sure that the result will make sense, in English, just in case someone wants to run it through a translator to see for themselves. So you might want to avoid expressions like, you know... Я вам покажу кузькину мать.

счастливо

[Jonners]

I would prefer to use the Cyrillic but unfortunately I don't know how. I wrote in Cyrillic yesterday and the forum put in meaningless numbers so I had to edit it in Roman.

You guys crack me up. Why don't you just write the Russian words in Cyrillic? If someone wants to know what they mean, they can just cut and paste them into an online translator.

What are you trying to accomplish with these silly Romanizations of Russian words?

[Stravinsky]

You guys crack me up. Why don't you just write the Russian words in Cyrillic? If someone wants to know what they mean, they can just cut and paste them into an online translator.

What are you trying to accomplish with these silly Romanizations of Russian words?

[Jonners]

Yes I doubt any women would ever say it about you skwiskwis.

Lastly why are you using adjectives where you should be using nouns when you write in russian?

The Rules of Petersburg (and for all mongers, I dare say!

Rule 9: Never be too much of a gentleman!

[Skwiskwis]

... my girlfriend at the time was in the process of splitting up with me ... I was too much of a gentleman...

The Rules of Petersburg (and for all mongers, I dare say!

Rule 9: Never be too much of a gentleman!

[Jonners]

Is this meant to be humor? If so it is very strange. Maybe a better example of a girl missing the bridges opening times would be her getting drunk and forgetting, this happens a lot (dear readers!). The girl in question in my example did not miss the bridges because she had split up with me, she missed it because she simply forgot. But it made for a very frosty 4 hours as we drank our tea. She wouldn't accept taxi fare and I was too much of a gentleman to leave her on her own.

Forewarned is forearmed dear readers. When your Petersburg girlfriend (s) want (s) to split up with (dump)(break up with) you she (they) will need a lot (hours) of time to tell you the reason (s) and if your meeting at night she (they) will become so preoccupied (obsessed)(possessed)(haunted) with telling you why she (they) is (are) dumping (breaking up with)(splitting up with) you that she (they) (it) will forget about the bridge schedules.

[Skwiskwis]

It has happened to me more than once ... when my girlfriend at the time was in the process of splitting up with me... she missed the bridges...

Forewarned is forearmed dear readers. When your Petersburg girlfriend (s) want (s) to split up with (dump)(break up with) you she (they) will need a lot (hours) of time to tell you the reason (s) and if your meeting at night she (they) will become so preoccupied (obsessed)(possessed)(haunted) with telling you why she (they) is (are) dumping (breaking up with)(splitting up with) you that she (they) (it) will forget about the bridge schedules.

The Rules of Petersburg.

Rule 3: don't break up in Petersburg!

Rule 4: only two people to a break up!

Rule 5: one break up at a time!

Rule 6: break up in the morning!

Rule 7: breaking up will go on as long as it has to!

Rule 8: if this is your first possession RUN!

[Jonners]

I don't agree that the bridges are issues just for tourists. Its quite easy for an spb girl to get the timings of the bridges wrong and end up on the wrong side of the river. It has happened to me more than once that is why I mentioned it. Just because it hasn't happened to you skwiskwis doesn't mean it doesn't. Not all the girls in spb are there to get as much money out of foreigners as possible and the taxi is very expensive so they look for a cafe or will come back to yours. One instance I remember was in the evening of alie parusa s couple of years ago when my girlfriend at the time was in the process of splitting up with me. It hadn't been a very pleasant evening and then she missed the bridges so we went to a cafe until the metro started again. I can assure you that our time in the cafe was no better and I really would have preferred that she hasn't forgotten the bridges.

I've also had girls who come into spb from a long way outside spb by bus so if they miss their last bus they need somewhere to stay and other girls who are on the right side of the river and miss the last metro the same thing. Of course 'professional' girls always demand a taxi.

Just for info there is also an app for the bridges opening and closing time. As is there an app for spb traffic jams which is particularly useful.

As for walking in spb I have never had any problems even after a spartak game but I can understand why there could be problems. It does tend to be pretty obvious to avoid parks at night and even during the day when you see groups of alcoholic russian guys and gals hunched over their bottles of vodka. Another warning would be some of the 'taxis' outside clubs I have had it in the past when I have agreed a fee then they have taken me on a tour of spb and demanded an increase when they arrived at my flat. My russian is good enough I can argue with them although I wouldn't recommend it. Also I have had problems in the past with licensed taxis going between apartments booked by Oksanas where they charged me 3 x the going rate and the girl from Oksanas just stood there like a plum while I had to argue myself with the taxi driver. This is one of the reasons I would never use Oksanas now. Besides it being incredibly expensive.

Bridges are an issue for tourists, not for residents of Petersburg, so don't even think you are going to use them to leverage your prey into your bed, unless she's already decided to go there and just wants you to think your cunning

[Skwiskwis]

Most of the bridges close to traffic at night and stay closed to traffic for a while to allow shipping to pass. The time they close and how long they stay close varies, not quite bridge to bridge, but almost. You can google it and get a schedule. The schedule changes during the year as well. Bye the way, this is an issue because all Petersburg public transportation stops around 00.30 or so and starts again around 05.00 or so, depending on the metro / route, so there is a 4-5 hour window in the city where the only transportation is by private car or taxi or your own reliable feet. And never, ever, walk late at night in Petersburg alone and / or drunk, on any street but a main street and don't even do that when there has been a football game (in other words, don't take that short cut thru the little parks you discovered- it will be full of drunk Russians at night and there's no telling their moods).

Every girl in StPb knows about the bridges and the 'oops, the bridge is closed now ploy' is about as cunning a ploy as the 'oops looks like I ran out of gas' one. If they stay longer than the bridge openings it's because they want to stay or they expect you to foot the bill for the more expensive taxi home (since it will have to go over the probably out of the way bridge that isn't closed to traffic) or they expect to stay at the club / cafe with you paying until after the bridges are open to cars again. And so the reverse is also true:

CFG: Look time. See watch? Watch say bridges no work. Rabota nyet. Nyet taxi. Go my flat? Doma. (points to self).

Girl: We are having soooooooo much fun here, CFG. Let's stay. And buy us some more champagne. Oh and look! How lucky! There are 5 of my friends. Can you be a sweetie and buy them drinks toooooo?

Bridges are an issue for tourists, not for residents of Petersburg, so don't even think you are going to use them to leverage your prey into your bed, unless she's already decided to go there and just wants you to think your cunning.

The bridge openings are also the sites of festivities, especially during White Nights; pretty much every night except during the coldest days of winter you can find ships waiting to take people out to party and celebrate the bridges opening. People, tourists and residents, will also gather by the banks of the Neva to watch them open from the shore.

Are the bridges closed at night?

[Meesee]

Of course the other way to make sure she stays until sunrise in piter is to make sure you live on the opposite side of the bridges to where she lives (and before anyone points out I do know there is one bridge on the outskirts you can always take over the Neva).

Are the bridges closed at night?

[Meesee]

BTW - Just to bring things into perspective, for what you paid for that 2 or 3 hour session, you could have spent the whole weekend in Tijuana.

Agreed. It's apples and oranges tho. My impression of the nature of the service and stock in Europe vs east Asia vs Tijuana vs other parts of North America to be very different.

I recall the original negotiation involved staying until sunrise. I am finding no matter where I am, when they're ready to head back to the club for another spin, there isn't much you can do to stop them. They have their mind made up.

I believe the beauty I found has a set amount of rubles per hour she expects for her services. So whatever price is negotiated at the front, that sets the exact time duration once we get started. I seem to find out at the end what that duration is, based on what I've paid for.
They're astute mathematicians and know what their sales goal is for the night and intend to hold to that. All are in the business for a set period fo time (one year, or two years...) with the intention of building up a windfall they can go buy a home or financial goal in the future when they are finished.

I'm reaching the point where I will look for LT only with someone I have been with before that I can trust. On the initial contact, short term will do and that's what I'll pay for.

[Jonners]

Of course the other way to make sure she stays until sunrise in piter is to make sure you live on the opposite side of the bridges to where she lives (and before anyone points out I do know there is one bridge on the outskirts you can always take over the Neva).

More seriously I think the girl might not have been trying to rip you off what she meant by all night was upto the point that she would normally work to in the club. In my experience a lot of the girls live with parents or room mates and coming home at 2 doesn't raise any questions but 6 am in the morning is a different matter. There are of course girls who don't care but you won't know until she leaves).

As strav says 25 k isn't a bad price (although spb is cheaper than Moscow) I would expect to pay 12-15 k for a top girl for 4 hours or so in a banya when she knows she will see me again. Although I can't say for strippers would expect them to be more expensive.

If you expect the girl to stay until sunrise, then that must be clearly stipulated in the contract. Hopefully, your legal counsel will get that signed and notarized before you leave the club. The only real control you have over the relationship is to withhold payment. Make it clear to the girl up front what you expect, and that she will not be paid until she leaves, in the morning. If she balks at that, then she's clearly just trying to scam you.

[Stravinsky]

My only disappointment with her was she did not stay the full night as I had expected. After 3 or 4 hours, she was on her way. All night to me means until at least the sun rises. My impression when we sealed the deal was she was taking herself offline early for the remainder of the night. If they are up for offering a little GFE, then stay for breakfast. I would never expect "all night" to mean just short time with an overtime.

Comments appreciated.

Your mistake was to make assumptions about the service.

You approached this transaction from the point of view of market research, but this is how she makes her living and I imagine she makes a good one. As you rightly pointed out, Russians are accomplished f/x traders, you will never beat them on that score. In addition, the girls you meet in the clubs are skilled negotiators, they could probably run rings around most Harvard educated lawyers when it comes to contract law. You will never beat them on that score. Throw in some drinks, loud music, colored lights and naked girls running around everywhere and the advantage is clearly on her side.

If you expect the girl to stay until sunrise, then that must be clearly stipulated in the contract. Hopefully, your legal counsel will get that signed and notarized before you leave the club. The only real control you have over the relationship is to withhold payment. Make it clear to the girl up front what you expect, and that she will not be paid until she leaves, in the morning. If she balks at that, then she's clearly just trying to scam you.

Can't help but be curious; 25,000 руб. for an uvolnyeniye is not out of line, if it's really overnight. Typically, in addition to what you pay the girl, you have to pay the club as well. Was that 25,000 руб. just for the girl? or did you pay extra to the club?


BTW - Just to bring things into perspective, for what you paid for that 2 or 3 hour session, you could have spent the whole weekend in Tijuana.