Nigeria

[Mercenario]

Mercenario, how are you getting on in Lagos? Having success with the girls? I was in La Playa this evening for some food and a few beers. There where about 5 guys and 10 girls in there this evening.

I was there around midnight after taking my model-friend back home. When I came the party was already over.

So far I like it here, some incredible good looking ladies. I'm making some success with the girls here, they are all "Facebook" friends, all of them models and college girls.

I have also been in Pat's bar Wednesday night at 1 am, there was not a single girl who attracted me. Saturday I was at Michel's. Many girls, many men, probably 1:1. There were 3 attractive girls (my taste) , all were busy. I was smiling at a very slim hardbody with a pretty face in a white dress, she was with a guy who was obviously in love with her. All the time when I was smiling at her, she was smiling also and staring back, but stayed with the guy. So I asked one of the other girls to get me her number. After speaking with the pretty faced beauty the girl came back to me and explained that she can't give her number because she will get married soon with that guy. Poor guy! He will not be happy with her, because after marriage she will follow her nature. I left Michel's with a slim petite girl who turned out to have a better body without cloths than with. After a long fuck I sent her out to sleep alone for the 1st time since Wednesday.

Developing story.

[Ikejagoblin]

Hi Gang.

And Congratz to Nigeria on their first Gold Circle, sorry – Gold MEDAL of the Olympiads! That it's in the Paralympics probably says it all. Draw your own conclusions.

Once again I feel it necessary to enlighten the great and the good viewers of this forum about the less-than-good points of the Naija Sistas.

I have posted a few blogs on Port Harcourt, however, this I had to share. My regular GF in PH has generally been quite fair over the years I have known her, but, like all these girls who profess undying love and sweet things for the Oyibo / Onyocha, we are simply a revenue stream running in parallel with however many 'streams' they can keep going at any given time. So no shocks there then.

I live in the Centre of Effluence (Lagos – an 'in joke' for my Nairaland compadres) and work a fair bit down Port Harcourt (and I fuckin' love the place) and first met Chichi (very nearly her full name – PM me if you think you need it) some few years ago, and to be fair, I like her a lot – never lived with her – am aware that she has to survive – therefore I ain't the only one. We're all over 21 and know the score (money for hand, back for ground) and so on. And I have paid my way well enough over the time, and she does alright out of me and no complaints at all, at all.

So we have a row one night (the cause of which she will undoubtedly divulge in her memoirs because I am fucked if I know what it was all about!) and she demands 'settlement' of. Now put your drinks down before you spill them. 3,000, 000 naira. Yeah, this is not a misprint, three fucking million naira, well I got to hand it to her: this was quite an ask! Being a bit of a bullshitter myself ('what? ' I hear you say, 'The Goblin pulling a flanker? ') I could not resist the temptation so I 'negotiated' it down to 2. 75M and wrote her a cheque for said amount and left.

So all was cleared and finalised and everyone was very happy. THE END.

Postscript to the tale: I had a phone call from UBA bank last week asking do I know a man attempting to cash a crossed cheque in the girl's bank account for 2. 75M in Port Harcourt? I said no, but I think my cheque book may have been stolen. 'Ah', they said, 'this would explain why the cheque in your name was signed by a Mr. Daffy Duck'. Final question was 'Do I wish to press charges? ' I can only begin to imagine the questions and grammar flying about over this down there. Hahaha. Talk about laughing all the way to the bank!

Moral of this story is that generally Nigerian women (or rather those frequenting places we like to go!) are worth every last milligram of their horrible reputation, and are to be trusted as far as you can throw a grand piano with a fat man playing it. It sounds like I have a tainted view on Nigeria's fair sex – not so: it is simply a realistic one. There are nice girls out there, but as various other reports on this forum have correctly pointed out, the younger the better (like uni girls) – good time, no strings with money thrown at them etc. A bit older and the 'survivor gene' becomes active, and remember: ex-pats equals pay days with overtime and bonuses! In addition, when the laydeez all get together, the new girls get corrupted by the older ones and the 'Oh, he should be giving you this and buying you that, and see what else you can milk it for' starts coming out. I have seen this in glorious action many times, I can't speak pidgin, but I can understand exactly what is said. (If you can, DO NOT let on that you can!) So when you study the form, as they say in racing circles, they all too often start off good, going gets heavy, and then can go mental and bugger off at wild tangents (don't bet on that race!). Go for the three F's (Find / Fuck / Flee) and be done, hanging about too long seems to give aggravation. Besides do you REALLY want to discuss the state of the economy, religion or quantum mechanics with a chick with nice tits that can hardly spell her own name? If she can mouth the letter 'O' she should have something else in it.

Regards Ikeja 'Quack-Quack' Goblin

[Desert Sandman]

I'll be there from 29th this month until 11th of September, staying in La Playa Suites.

Mercenario, how are you getting on in Lagos? Having success with the girls? I was in La Playa this evening for some food and a few beers. There where about 5 guys and 10 girls in there this evening.

[Mercenario]

When are travelling to Nigeria and where are you staying?

I'll be there from 29th this month until 11th of September, staying in La Playa Suites.

[Desert Sandman]

THE GIRLS. For 8 months or so I made contact to lots of girls in Lagos via Facebook. I'm chatting often with some of them. Some 10 of them say, that they want to see me, when I'm there.

THE FRIENDS. Also via Facebook I made contact to some guys to have local chaps for information, clubbing and for more easy chasing of non-pro girls.

THE PRESENTS. So far I've bought 3 used Blackberrys for the girls, the BBs almost look new. Furthermore I'll buy some perfume. All will be wrapped in present-paper.

THE UTILITIES. My stock of condoms if full and my stock of Kamagra also.

When are travelling to Nigeria and where are you staying?

[Mercenario]

I´m a lucky man

THE GIRLS. For 8 months or so I made contact to lots of girls in Lagos via Facebook. I'm chatting often with some of them. Some 10 of them say, that they want to see me, when I'm there.

THE FRIENDS. Also via Facebook I made contact to some guys to have local chaps for information, clubbing and for more easy chasing of non-pro girls.

THE PRESENTS. So far I've bought 3 used Blackberrys for the girls, the BBs almost look new. Furthermore I'll buy some perfume. All will be wrapped in present-paper.

THE UTILITIES. My stock of condoms if full and my stock of Kamagra also.

[Member #4379]

Well I knew it was too good to be true. She got into my house first knowing I would not dare kick her out. Had a great time but forgot to negotiate price and if we disagreed it would have been hard to get her out. In the morning she demanded 15, 000 Naira (about $100 USD) I called security but they said if they dragged her out of the house it would get into the press and make the compound look bad. I ended up having to give her 15, 000 Naira. Stay away from Jennifer from Delta state. 20 years old, has a giant folding pink / red / fuchia coloured purse, nasty piece of work, met her at Soho club in Wuse 2.

With a very wealthy class in Abuja you get very interesting types of clubs. Both Cubana and Play in Wuse 2 are mostly occupied by the local middle class there and not many working girls but goregeous ones and I was the only white guy. But if you go to Soho club in Wuse 2 there are lots of 'semi-pros' who 'claim' to be university students, mostly NOT going to school in Abuja but rather far away states who come to Abuja when school breaks for some extra cash. Lots of old white guys like myself. First girl I met asked for 10, 000 Naira but we agreed to 8, 000 (that's $50 USD). Luckily, a much darker, taller, and slimmer one arrived. When I bought her a drink (all drinks, beers, single shots are 1, 000 Naira, about $9 USD) which is not cheap, I asked her about price. She didn't want to talk about money. Being only 20, I hope she would not go hard- core on me. Got a great deal, all night and again all morning. Gave her 6, 000 (just under $40) and she did not complain. Still trying to get it down to the Kenyan rate of around 2, 000 Ksh (about $25 USD0 but no luck so far at least without complaing)

[Mercenario]

That's good news, you lucky man!

LOL, don't ask me, what I paid for it....

I was lucky to find a black paradise in Madrid, read my post there.

[Blackwhite99]

That's good news, you lucky man!

Finally I got it.

Today I was informed by email that my visa was issued. My last attempt with another invitation was successful. NIGERIA HERE I COME.

[Mercenario]

Guys, the reason that the NIS have been cracking down on visa applications recently is because so many expats have been caught living and working in Nigeria while having entered the country on a tourist or business visa. There's nothing different here to the immigration policies of our own countries.

Finally I got it.

Today I was informed by email that my visa was issued. My last attempt with another invitation was successful. NIGERIA HERE I COME.

[Member #4379]

With a very wealthy class in Abuja you get very interesting types of clubs. Both Cubana and Play in Wuse 2 are mostly occupied by the local middle class there and not many working girls but goregeous ones and I was the only white guy. But if you go to Soho club in Wuse 2 there are lots of 'semi-pros' who 'claim' to be university students, mostly NOT going to school in Abuja but rather far away states who come to Abuja when school breaks for some extra cash. Lots of old white guys like myself. First girl I met asked for 10, 000 Naira but we agreed to 8, 000 (that's $50 USD). Luckily, a much darker, taller, and slimmer one arrived. When I bought her a drink (all drinks, beers, single shots are 1, 000 Naira, about $9 USD) which is not cheap, I asked her about price. She didn't want to talk about money. Being only 20, I hope she would not go hard- core on me. Got a great deal, all night and again all morning. Gave her 6, 000 (just under $40) and she did not complain. Still trying to get it down to the Kenyan rate of around 2, 000 Ksh (about $25 USD0 but no luck so far at least without complaing)

[Blackwhite99]

Guys, the reason that the NIS have been cracking down on visa applications recently is because so many expats have been caught living and working in Nigeria while having entered the country on a tourist or business visa. There's nothing different here to the immigration policies of our own countries.

[Mercenario]

They also have a high rejection rate because these 'new' officers expect a bribe in return. I have never been rejected for a visa when applying to the Kenyan embassy in Rwanda. But when I went to Nigeria I was rejected immediately. It has to be because of Nigeria.

Here in Germany there is almost no corruption and we Germans are not used to pay any bribe whereever we go, whatever we do. Maybe the NIS-officers don't know that.

[Member #4379]

They also have a high rejection rate because these 'new' officers expect a bribe in return. I have never been rejected for a visa when applying to the Kenyan embassy in Rwanda. But when I went to Nigeria I was rejected immediately. It has to be because of Nigeria.

To process my visa I used the service of a company (Visa Express Service) which is specialised in this. They told me that until last year it was quite easy to get a visa for Nigeria, you could even talk to the embassy staff directly and please them to give the visa and finally they mostly issued it.

But since the beginning of 2012 there are special immigration officers of the "NIS", who handle all this stuff. They are like watchdogs.

(NIS = Nigerian Immigration Service) VES told me today after I had asked, that more than 50% of all visa requests for Nigeria are refused compared to 10% before 2012.

THANK YOU, STUPID NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT!

If they don't want tourists, they should fly a flag in front of each embassy and consulate: "No tourists wanted. Stay out".

[Mercenario]

I am in the same trouble of Mercenario.

I know Nigerian people here at home in Italy.

To process my visa I used the service of a company (Visa Express Service) which is specialised in this. They told me that until last year it was quite easy to get a visa for Nigeria, you could even talk to the embassy staff directly and please them to give the visa and finally they mostly issued it.

But since the beginning of 2012 there are special immigration officers of the "NIS", who handle all this stuff. They are like watchdogs.

(NIS = Nigerian Immigration Service) VES told me today after I had asked, that more than 50% of all visa requests for Nigeria are refused compared to 10% before 2012.

THANK YOU, STUPID NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT!

If they don't want tourists, they should fly a flag in front of each embassy and consulate: "No tourists wanted. Stay out".